non-lucid

My dreams last night where dull. First I got into an arguement with my wife about her getting mad at me for things she thinks I'm thinking. Then that arguements ran off onto my friend as if he was the one it had started with. It wasn't anything to go into, I think the aggression and poor recall was a result of me going to sleep drunk. Instead of writing down these dreams, I wanted to do something different today!
I want to record one of my most meaningful dreams that I can recall. It lasted about two minutes probably, it didn't take long to show me what it wanted to show me. This dream was one of my stepping stones in the practice of LDing, it taught me a phrame of mind in the form of an analogy.

The dream was simply this; I was standing in front of a window. The window was three times my highth, and had quite a marvelous look to it. Stained glass, with red, blue, green, yellow- all shimmering from whatever was behind it. There was nothing to my left, nothing to my right, nothing below me or above me. All there was, was this window. I didn't know exactly what was going on. All I knew at that point was I did not want to be here. Something about this place made me know deep down that I did not want to be standing here any more. But what was I supposed to do? It was a beautiful thing that was stopping me, am I supposed to move past it? The answer was yes, I needed to move past it. I leaped towards the glass surface with a good jump and shattered all the way through it. I wasn't met by a ground on the otherside, but I began to float in the clouds above the ocean. So much open space, so much fresh air. I started flying through the clouds with a sense of freedom. I could still see the window that was locking me in darkness as I turned to look, so I kept flying. It was one of the most beautiful and peaceful moments of my life to be honest. I believe it was my mind teaching me that sometimes the answer to life and dreams is so simple. When there's something keeping you in a place you know you shouldn't be, break it down. You don't see it now, but there's freedom on the other side. It may look like a beautiful thing that's keeping you back, but the other side is of much more importance. This dream has helped me in a lot of my dreams, when I remember that if something isn't working- it's just me not taking the leap. Something jurassic needs to be done in order for me to understand how.

09-17-2012 -- [First off, this was not lucid, I did not know it was a dream while I was dreaming it, but part of why I remember the parts I remember so well is because I was recalling the details of what happened earlier in the dream in the dream, not trying to remember it as a dream, but for the possible lawsuit. Also there may have been more before this, and it may have been dull or interesting, but I can't actually remember anything further back than I tried to remember in the dream, except that I am certain that it did go further back. Takes a while to get to the weird, repeat dream, time travel parts.]

Somehow I am in a parking lot of a strip mall. Could be a lot of places, but I'm pretty sure it is on Colonial, near Highway 27 in Clermont. I have no idea why I am here, and everything seems to keep shifting, but I seem to be meeting mom here, and she seems to own a business.

For much of this portion, I am in the parking lot, along landscaped curbs, though it is a business, as well. At one moment, it seems to be a gym that mom owns (anybody who ever met my mom, who weighed over 400 pounds, would know this makes no sense), and at another, a sort of copy center. I am supposed to be doing some work for her, and my 'station' is a table, just sitting in this parking lot.

Somebody knocked the table over, and stuff is scattered on the floor. I am trying to get things straightened up again. Somehow this leads to some time cleaning up litter in the parking lot, and I am talking to mom's assistant, who is kind of cute, looks a little like Rosemary's friend Mary. End up picking up a small sort of alarm clock that has broken into three pieces and am putting it back together so it works.

I ask about it, and they are moaning that it shows the next three jobs we're supposed to be doing, and they are worried things won't get done because the alarm disappeared when the table got knocked over. I explain it was right underneath the table, and I fixed it, and they are happy about it. I am gently tearing what seems to be a page with three coupons on it out of a half-size coupon store thing like I once bought an ad in, as I wait for mom, who is talking to somebody else, inside the store, except that somehow it seems to be some kind of work order for us, regardless of the fact that it looks like a coupon.

Continue cleaning up scraps on the floor, and start to come across several old comic books (ones I have dreamed about in other dreams, within last couple of years) that are just randomly sitting half in the open, half under the tables (that are still out in the open in the parking lot). I am gathering them up to throw them away, except I halfway have some kind of idea that these are some sort of mid-range comic books that are kept under the tables to keep them out of the way. They aren't cheap enough to go in the regular bins, nor expensive enough to be put on the walls, but maybe $40 or $50 an issue. They include a lot of random titles, some old Green Lanterns, and a couple of old Spider-Mans. Somehow this leads to looking at some racks mom has of trade paperbacks, and I am glancing at the thick black and white archive editions of Green Lantern stuff that print 20 or 25 issues in a single $15-$20 newsprint volume, thinking when I have money and a job, I might want to buy a few more.

By this time mom's gym or printshop or comic store is closing for the day, and they are preparing to lock it up. I walk out of the store (finally inside) and head a little north in a mall the store is in. (Almost seems to be the Buena Park Mall). I think I am a few doors down from Sears, and am passing a bookstore that I decide I want to look through. When I first glance at it, it looks exactly like Waldenbooks, but when I look again, it seems to be a different bookstore.

They are probably about to close as well, but they say nothing as I start to browse. It is a long, narrow shop, like Waldenbooks was, and I am walking back the main aisle, looking at the displays on the right side as I head all the way back. As I get to the back, I see these strange mannequin-like figures that seem to be slightly moving or swaying. There is an incredibly long line of them, and they almost seem ready to go down like a row of dominoes.

By this time, I am driving down somewhat narrow roads around some attractive houses while looking at all these mannequins, and soon I am not driving, but being driven. Soon it seems like I am being driven around a very nicely landscaped seaside community. I am seeing people walking their dogs, and somehow I am recognizing things that I drove around or saw years and years ago, though I'm still trying to piece together exactly what it is I am remembering.

We are on our way back, and are getting close to the front of the store again, when I see a small red pick-up truck parked along the curb, and I am suddenly certain I remember that truck. Wasn't that the truck that Ashlyn Gear did a sex scene with some black guy in it? Wasn't it one of the hottest scenes I ever saw? The truck is quite an old model, from the late 70s or early 80s, but it looks brand new. As we're driving past it, I see a door in the building open, and a very young, vibrant Ashlyn Gear walks out and is heading for the truck, followed by a black guy, and everything kind of falls into place.

Back almost 25 years ago, when I was just barely legal, I somehow got a couple of video tapes. One had one pornographic scene on it, Ashlyn in the red truck. The other was a worn video tape of some kind of TV show that had been recorded (poorly) over a tape of porn scenes, and you could catch tiny bits of the porn flashing in and out of the newer stuff. The thing that had been taped over the top of the porn was a drive through the small, well-landscaped community.

I start to confront them about how I saw these tapes 25 years ago, and yet they are only filming them today. And somehow they have an Ashlyn Gear here that is about 25 years younger than the Ashlyn Gear of today. Obviously there is some kind of time travel going on here, and I want to know what is going on. They try to distract me by driving me through a different part of the community, showing me the route I actually remember from the video tape, yet denying there is anything odd going on. I'm asking them to drive slower as we pass the red truck, and am even considering stopping and trying to get into the act.

Soon I am back to the front counter, trying to demand the speak to the manager, except it has turned from a bookstore into a car dealership that sells old classic cars that seem to be absolutely brand new. I keep trying to demand to know about their time traveling method, and they keep acting like I am insane, while trying to sell me a brand new 1980 brown pick-up truck in the year 2012.

We argue for a little while, and I am threatening law suits, and am reminding myself of the entire typed-out portion of this dream in my mind so I can remember it to tell it to the lawyers. Soon I am in the brown pick-up truck, and seem to be kind of stealing it while the sales manager is threatening to call the cops. I tell him he calls the cops and I'll blow the whistle on his whole time-travel thing. I drive the truck out of his lot and on to Douglas Avenue in Altamonte, turning left to drive toward Altamonte Blvd.

[I have no way to prove it, but I am almost sure I had another dream that I was remembering in this dream of driving around the community, waiting for people to cross the street with their dogs, and so on ... though it feels like I dreamed it 10-12 years ago, and not 25 years ago. I can't remember if there were any hints of sex in that earlier dream. I can't remember any, but it kind of feels like it. Weird stuff.]

My family and I were on a vacation, and we were camping at some ski resort. We stayed in this really creepy ass cabin that had nothing in it except hay on the floor. Actually, there was this weird horse in the corner with really creepy eyes, and Jake and I kept fucking with it with glow sticks. We'd wave them in front of his face and get him all worked up. Then, I went off on my own skiing around and I found this long trail to an old, medieval castle. You had to take a gondola across an icy river to get there. It was a big attraction, and a lot of people came to see it. But I think I didn't go back to my family and just spent the night there. I went back to the cabin the next morning, and a cat was following me.
Then I told Jake and Garrett that they NEED to see this castle cuz it was awesome. So they took the trail, but had to rush back because we were leaving soon. I don't remember much after that, besides trying to get everything packed up to go. I also don't remember seeing my parents ever, just having the feeling that they were there.

17/09/12

Dream 1

I was in class and I said to one of my classmates, "I know who is going to be on Lord Of The Mics 4, it's going to be M.I.K".*
I was then at a concert. I was at another Boy Better Know gig. I have been dream incubating this a lot recently. Anyway most of Boy Better Know was in with the crowd. They were right in front of me. I had my phone out and I was recording it all. I couldn't believe they were preforming in front of me. Then when Wiley was trying to spit his bars someone was standing next to him stroking his face. She was from my school. She just stood there stroking Wileys face over and over again. This was annoying me because I was trying to record him. The JME walked forward and spoke down the microphone, he said "Jack that, jack that. It's all love, everyone who is here, love for coming, love for the music, it's all love. Oh, and big up Wileys dad for showing love as well!" He pulled Wileys dad over and showed him everyone. He was a small indian man who looked similar to the One Pound Fish man. He then went to spit some bars. Then JME begun again he said "Everyone my new album and single will be out to buy on September the 11th!" After announcing this they begun to start preforming Skeptas 'Make Peace Not War'.*

Dream 2

I was haunting people as for some reason in my dream I was ghost. I was round my friends house and he was in his bedroom. I had this really old coin and I threw it onto his bed. He was confused, I kept flipping it. He was still confused. I then went next door and I had to collect some birds of my friend. I remember carrying a big tree into a car full with birds on it...

16/09/12

Dream 1

I was going to miss the coach. I don't know where it was going but I was going to miss it. I was running back and I remember running through like a shopping centre. There was an MC called Depzman standing in the doorway. He shouted at me "Hurry up, we're going to be late!" I ran through the doors and we made it. We only just made it with 4 minutes to go. I talked to someone called Charlotte. I was dancing in front of everyone!*

Dream 2

I was in a car park. I think it was a supermarket car park. It was somewhere like Tesco. My brother was lying on a car bonnet which was parked on the side. I was dressed up as Spiderman! I had two toilet plungers in my hand. What I was doing was when people walked past me. I would jump infront of them and plunge the plungers to the ground so they stick. I would then walk with the plungers. I would get very weird looks at me. I was also doing it in front of cars and holding up the line. I remember this one old women who looked about 70 and was with her friend walked past me twice! She was not impressed the second time and was pulling faces!*

Dream 3

I was in the jungle an I was on a tour with a group of people. There was about 10 of us and the man who was guiding us. We were tasting *different food. He gave me a plate of food which looked like rice. It was had looked like it had a curry type of sauce over it. It was a browny green. I tried it and it was disgusting! I walked round the corner of this tree and asked the man what it was. He announced to everyone "What you have just ate is JAGUAR!" There was a groan from everyone. I heard someone say "At least I can say i've tried Jaguar now". I looked on the floor and I seen a dead jaguar with its guts all ripped out. It was not a nice sight!*

I was then at a football match. I was sitting next to that Charlotte person from my earlier dream. I was waiting for my dad and brother and sister to come out. I was meant to be sitting by them but I didn't know where they were sitting. My friend *walked out I asked her if she had seen my dad. She couldn't hear me so I had to say it louder. She said she was not sure. They sat on our row and it filled it. I then looked behind me and my dad was sitting on a row with my brother and sister and some random guy so there was no space for me. So I ended up just sitting where I was. Then I remembered I was meant to be commentating on the radio on this game. I seen my manager stand up and walk out. So I followed him and asked if I still needed to do my job. He said 'What on the mortgage stand, no you can sit back down'. I was confused what he said then realised I had asked the wrong man! It was the man out of Benidorm the tv programme. I went and sat down by my dad this time and he asked if I should be commentating. I said 'I don't think so, I asked the man out of Benidorm'.*

I had one dream last night that I took a shower and my hair dye washed out (I currently have semi-permanent dye in my hair IWL; it's supposed to last a couple weeks). I had another dream that there was a whiteboard with some Latin words/phrases and their English translations on it; some of the words seemed Latin-ish with weird definitions, and other words were just weird. Then, someone erased all that and started drawing the Mane Six (from MLP:FiM). They just drew the ponies' heads, but then they drew a full-body pic of Applejack. For some reason, I thought Molly (my cat, who died a couple years ago) would be jealous because only Applejack got a full-body pic.

I think I was a soldier. We were on the rooftop of a small building, helping some sort of refugees cross to the next building via ziplining. It was quite far to the next building, about 100 meters or so. The refugees were all in dark cloaks that covered most of their bodies, with only their faces visible. A few of them were already on the other side, and I was hooking up another refugee to the zipline harness. I pushed him, and he went zooming into the air. Halfway through, the harness got stuck, and he remained dangling 2 storeys in the air. He started to panic, but then a small military jeep with no roof drove under him and stopped. There were 5 soldiers on it, and they were yelling for him to just jump, and that they would catch him.

The refugee looked relieved, got a knife from somewhere in his cloak, and proceeded to cut himself loose. Within a few seconds, he fell down. Luckily, the soldiers on the jeep caught him just as they said.

I looked down at them. The refugee was smiling, hugging the soldiers, thanking them for saving his life. He sat down in the front area of the jeep. Then, one of the soldiers who was standing behind the refugee looked up at me, smiled creepily, and took a knife from his belt. He then removed the refugee's hood, revealing his head and neck. He grabbed the refugee's hair, and in a slow and deliberate motion, the soldier dragged the knife across the refugee's neck.

I saw the blood oozing from the refugee's neck. The soldier released his grip on the man's head, after which the man dropped forward on the jeep's floor.

It was horrible.

My perspective suddenly shifted, and I became one of the soldiers on the jeep – the driver, I think. The mutilated body of the refugee was to my right. For some reason, I went over him, swiped my thumb across the pool of blood on the floor, and drew a cross on the man's forehead.

I went back to the driver's seat and drove away.




I mean wtf is up with this dream. Why would I even... 0______0

Last night I had a dream that I heard one of my favorite bands' music playing in someones car. I ran outside and saw a few cars on my street...I went up to one of them to talk to the people about it, but it turned out that it was the wrong car. I finally found the car that had the music playing it was two girls. I think I invited them inside.

When we got inside my house we were all wearing head wraps for some reason. I discovered that the two girls were only 16 years old. I remember feeling weird for hanging out with them after I discovered how young they were.

In another part of my dream I was outside talking to my neighbor. I asked her how apple picking with her boyfriend was and she said it was a nightmare. I remember seeing my cat outside lying down in a corner. She looked beautiful!

It took me three seperate hours of the day to write down all my dreams from last night. When I pushed post, it erased all of it. I'm too tired, I'm gonna have to skip last night's dreams. :\

I'm back writing for the night before last because I happened to have a K dream and I like to keep a record of all those It's been a couple days so I don't remember as much as I did when I woke up, and there's some stuff to explain about my waking life as I go so parts of the dream will make sense.

The dream starts out with me in the house I spent my preteen and teen years in. I'm in the little entrance way (Foyer?) about to go out the front door. I notice that what should be a solid door with a stained glass window is instead the glass storm door we have at the house I currently live in. I stop myself and say, "This door shouldn't be see through.." But before I can continue that train of thought I notice there are people outside. My mom is on the porch sitting in an adirondack chair with my grandmother, and my kids are in the yard playing. However after I note them I feel that familiar tugging feeling that I need to look to the side followed by the warm and familiar feeling that I know all too well from my dreams. The first thought I have is, "This feeling that I am going to meet him soon was right. He's here!" (Now, to explain, randomly during my days I've started having that same warm and familiar feeling like K is close by, but without the tugging telling me where to look. I like to look at it as a reminder that I'm getting closer to unraveling these dreams and finding him again) So in the dream I go out the door, and as I do he turns and looks at me. I say hey, and he tells me I look familiar, and I tell him yeah he does too, and I am pretty sure we know each other even though we've never met. He asks me if I'd like to take a walk and talk, and I say yes. So we walk along the sidewalk in front of the house to my uncles property next door. There's a fancy playhouse/swing set/slide combination thing on the property, and none of the kids are playing on it, so K starts to climb up the ladder into the little club house part of it. I ask him while he climbs up what his name is, and he replies with Kale. Before I can question him any farther, I notice there's someone climbing a tree across the creek that splits the property. K asks me whats wrong because I have a funny look as I watch this person in the tree. I tell him there's someone building a tree house on my uncles property and I don't think they're supposed to be there. He offers to go an tell the guy to stop, but I say I need to ask first. I start to go ask my grandmother if that person has permission to build on my uncles lot, but then a kid kicks a ball into the creek and I run to get it, but the kid gets it first. Then I am distracted talked to the kid about the ball, then I wake up.

I can't really recall much from this weekend because I was up really late both nights working on the game.

1. I was driving home from somewhere and I parked in the garage. I then remember going to clean out the car and finding something I hadn't seen in years. It was a Happy Meal toy that to this day I wish i still had... it was one of those LCD Sonic games from 2003 I think it was. I remember being quite happy about finding something from so long ago and went to turn it on only to find the batteries were dead.

2. I vaguely remember I was at home playing Sonic Unleashed and failing horribly. Whenever a quick-step area came up and you had to push the right buttons... I was way too slow at it and couldn't make any jumps or anything. I then remember finally getting a little better and getting a couple combos, but not enough to make it through the level with any style.

TB was telling me and a group of people about how he intended on taking acid in the next day or so while also expressing his concern of the fact that he has been exposed to a lot of military violence as of late, and he feared a bad trip. I think, from here, I walked as someone tried to explain to me the meaning of a "banished" style of governing which is a combination of republican and proletariat policies. I latched on to the Republican part and expressed that I enjoyed the existence of big government programs such as the Peace Corps. We continued walking until I came upon an underway soccer game. As the ball rolled towards me, I kicked it back and internally felt satisfied by not making a fool of myself.

The two other fragments which I can't connect to the main plot is that I did some sexual things with V, and it did not have any odd emotional overtones with it. Also, TB was driving an old luxury car at a pretty slow pace which caught a walking person off guard and complained wondering if the car was an automatic or not.

Earlier I had a dream that I was waitressing again at my old job. I couldn't get anything right and kept messing up everyones order. I spent so much time at one table that I got sat and couldn't get to my other table in time. Another waitress had to take their order.

I also dreamt that I was talking with a girl I went to high school with who was sick. She was in her bed as we were talking. I told her to tell another girl we knew that I said hello. It's odd because these two people aren't people I was particularly close with in school at all.

After a day at the fair, me and the band congregate on a beautiful cliff over-looking the ocean which was litt beautifully by the moonlight. It would of been incredibly relaxing had I not remembered this dream. As the band is talking I hear the water becoming agitated and I immidiately grab our drum major and run off to the side where the cliff circles a wall and a gap becomes clear. I get ready to jump it but stop just before because it was too large. I lose my footing and plummet towards the ocean and I know what monsters wait below. I then find myself struggling to escape the dreamworld. My window in RL becomes visible but the dream is still trying to take hold. I feel my bed start to shake me kicking It trying to awaken somebody so that they can come wake me. I finally manage to break free but unable to move as I am now in sleep paralysis for a few minutes until I finally regain control. (this was my first SP encounter)

So weird. Really vivid dream last night. This girl who's really cool who I just met, Amy, and I were hanging out and walking around Tacoma at night. I really like her as a person (in real life,) and in my dream we were holding hands and putting our arms around each other's shoulders and stuff. I was worried that maybe she would think I'm lesbian or something, but I just really liked her as a friend. We were talking about how we had been talking about other people earlier (which actually did happen with her earlier in the night in real life). We both really wanted to stop doing that so we made a pact not to gossip again. It was a really powerful feeling that came over me of wanting to change because gossiping does not make me feel good, and in a way it's an addiction because even though I don't want to gossip, I'll do it anyway because I'm so curious as to what's happening in other's lives, even though it's none of my business.
Then, I woke up in another dream world. I was picking up Matthew from the airport when he's coming to visit, and I just remember running and jumping into his arms and making out really passionately for a long time in the middle of the airport. Everyone was staring at us but I didn't give a fuck, cuz it felt really good and I missed him so much! Guess I'm just getting excited to see him