non-lucid

I was a tall barbarian with huge muscles, wearing traditional armor. I was travelling with group of adventurers - a thief woman in green cloak, a warrior in full plate armor and a sorceress in purple cloak. We entered a tavern to discuss our mission. It was a two storey wooden building. There were travelling merchants, mercenaries and random people there, talking and drinking.

We sat at only free table, at the back of the tavern. I ordered a huge mug of ale, and then we talked about our mission. We were going to capture a mad scientist, that builds machines of terror and destruction. He already destroyed nearby villages, and moves on to attack closest cities. When they were talking, someone gave me a weird look, which made me both uncomfortable and mad.

I just standed up from my chair - the whole tavern become quiet. The man came closer to me, and tried to stab me with a dagger. I jumped back, took a chair and striked him in the head. This was enough to make him unconscious, and enough to start a tavern drunken brawl. Mugs and chairs were thrown. The bartender hidden behind a counter while drunk mercenaries were fighting.

With group, we quietly left the tavern and moved on. I looked back, and saw city guards entering the tavern. We wandered the forest for a while. It was weirdly quiet. After a few hours, we saw a village in the distance. Only ashes and corpses were left after the mad scientist attacked. We moved through the village, and saw a castle in the distance.

We entered the castle - it looked like it's inhabitants just vanished, looked like it was left in a hurry. After searching all the chambers, we found a hidden hatch to a dungeon, and entered it. It was dark. I could feel the stench of death in the air. The corridor was splitting to a few chambers, so we decided to split up - with me ordered to wait in the back for some reason.

After a good while of waiting, I heard screams coming from random parts of dungeon. I said "That's it!" and ran to closest chamber. I saw sorceress, hypnotizingly walking around a table with clothing. I took a turn to the left, and saw a pile of bones near a strange machine - it had a weird mechanical arm, that could throw you into a flesh removing blades. It quickly drawn energy, but couldn't attack me. The machines had to be powered by magic, and I was magic resistant.

There were more machines of death inside - from usual torture machines to weird objects, like a spiral with red glowing ball at the top. The spiral killed the warrior by striking him with lightning, but it haven't attacked me. I ran to the chamber with sorceress, and saw that weird man from the tavern - he was a mad scientist. I came closer to him, and then he grabbed a throwing knife and thrown it at me. I easily dodged, and when I was just about to bash his skull inside - he disappeared.

I looked at the sorceress, the hypnotizing spell was removed from her. I went closer, and then she thrown her clothes down, and we did our thing.

I found three people come to my place, one by one with a gap of 1-2 minutes. They all have upper body dressed. Their bottom body - below hip - not very much visible. I see the scene change.

I found myself in a place like hostel. Some senior person talking to someone, and she sprayed pepper spray one people. Then she is repulsed due to the spray she sprayed and went away. She say (she went away and not visible, but still she says) they spent the water and the water system damaged in my block (hostel block).

Suddenly I found was sleeping and wakeup, and I want to bath, because I feel I am dirty. The water water pipes damaged and I am not able to wash myself in the common bathrooms of my Hostel block. I see other bathrooms(in other hostel blocks) are occupied and people are queued up. Hundreds of them waiting there also. Now, what I can do?
[ I wakeup ]

Sleeping: August 8th 2015, 11 PM (UTC +7)
Awake: August 9th 2015, 7 AM (UTC +7)

Non-Dream, Non-Lucid, Lucid, FA/Possible FA

Last night, I slept at 11 PM. I'm not sure when, or if I actually had any, but I remembered there was a natural awakening. I woke up and looked at the clock (can't remember what time was it), and went back to my bed, doing some mental maths. A thing I found is that my brain activity is pretty low, I can find myself struggling to do easy equations. Soon, I drifted off to sleep with higher consciousness. (This orange part could be anywhere in this journal entry. I can't remember when I woke up in real life or had this false awakening.) I can remember a dream where I was on a floating world/island with my family/friends. The place looked great and beautiful. We were around edge of the world. I was running/flying around and such. (Too much activities to note/recall, not in chronological orders. Most of them look fairly reasonable, at least within my dreams. Would work better with mental map, if it's to list everything.) Though, not much other characters were talking/doing anything with me. (At least what I can remember) Yes, this place was place of freedom. Most things were already made possible, including flying. I decided to summon a UFO Mount to ride on and levitate freely with thoughts instead of getting wings. If you could control almost everything for personal happiness, why you wouldn't? (The world had been balanced out to prevent crimes and such.)

I can't remember too much details, especially chronological orders in that part, but I can recall the feeling when I looked down from edge of the world, seeing clouds. Whichever ways, there was this part. I was down on the ground, on a flat land. Everything looked red, dehydrated, deadly and aggressive. I was confused and tried to ask people what happened, but they ignored me. I could see tanks fighting as if this world had wars going on. I knew afterwards that the world I had been living on was just a world designed for most people. We lived there without question why we were there in first place. However, reality down here was bad. Everything was destroyed already. I questioned things in frustration. I asked one of my friends where they're going (in this case, they: those soldiers in war), what they're doing. Only to get the answer: "Where are they going? Nah. They won't tell you. You have to find out yourself." before they left me without caring for me.

Possibly in another dream, or false awakening after first paragraph. Family woke me up with smiles. I slowly went on my clock and it said 8 AM. However, I decided to continue sleeping and attempted DEILD, hoping that they thought I was not fully awake yet. (Illogical? Yes. It's not possible at all to continue acting like I'm not awake with that much movements. I used to do this when I'm too lazy to wake up, and just continue sleeping though.) I managed to drift off to my sleep, thinking that I successfully did DEILD/WILD. (A false one, yay!) I somehow found that my attempts to continue the previous dream failed, as my (false) physical body senses still co-operate. With that, I realized actions similar to sleepwalks occurred on my (false) physical body. Knowing that my family members were there, I decided to troll them around with physical body asleep, but my mind awake and seeing everything. Things were funny though. Can't remember what happened afterwards, but I finally woke up in real life. Something made me question what happened few moments ago, I did a reality check and found that this was awakening life. I looked at the clock and it said 7 AM, before I punched my pillows softly in frustration. How the hell I forgot to even think that the false awakening was illogical? Since I had been waiting for FA, thinking that it would be greatest chance for me to get lucid.

This night was one of weirdest nights so far. I can't seem to sort anything out in chronological order, while I was always able to do it all the time. Everything looked like there were run on parallel timeline. Let's think it in positive way. This might be a sign of being able to recall multiple dreams a night. Time to appreciate it and try again next night!

EDIT: I just noticed how "fabricated world" is quite something along The Matrix. I haven't watched it before this though.

Marleigh & Steve Show Love
I'm watching the cricket and we r looking like we are going to lose. I see a message from Daryl with some dates and photos. 1 of the dates is an old dooms day date. So I figure he's meaning that there's a dooms day coming. I see a game which looks similar COC. The elixir storage looks like a asteroid impact. I see Mum around the house. I think we fight back in the cricket and it gets rained off. It's a relief as I thought we would lose for sure. I begin seeing a scene of Marleigh and Steven having interment Moments in the bed room. Marleigh looks pregnant and has put on a lot of excess weight. Steven is trying to move her onto of him. The other scene is of Steven putting his dick in her. He's dick looks a bit soft and fat. The videos are for anyone to watch as they show it as a sign of love, not fucking.

Keeping It In The Family
I'm in a swimming facility, and I see a amputee swimming. Dana White encouraging the kid. Somehow they're creating waves in the pool, allowing the kid to catch a wave for a brief moment. He wasn't able to swim in a straight line. He kept moving into other lanes. There's another guy that catches a wave all the way to the other end. At first I though was going to catch it all the way into the wall. I see that there's some dogs in the pool, and One of the dogs is unsure of the water. It's making odd noises, which is getting the attention of one of the other dogs. It might have been its mother or father, cause it was looking concerned. The dog looked to be walking on water, but was walking on the lane rope instead. The dog walks towards me and is still walking on water. I think to myself that the dog would have to sink sooner or later. The dog ends up looking more and more comfortable in the water.

I get into the water and I swim over to my cousin Rach, who I'm dating. I feel a bit awkward due to others reactions. I swim over to Kayley and Daniel. I bring up that i don't care what other people think about me dating my cousin. Daniel asks me a question which finishes early, so I don't fully understand what he's saying. I ask him again what he meant.

I walk outside and Mum is waiting for me to pick me up. She's in the XR6.


Dream fragment
Cousin Rach asks me if I still do Lem sip. I tell her I do and haven't been sick in a year and a half

The civilisation has fallen. A mysterious plague turned people into monsters. We had to escape to deserts, where the monsters were somehow weaker, though there was more of them. We took everything with us, and placed it in a car trunk. We even took kittens with us.

My last entry got deleted -_- Retyping...

Due to a poor night's sleep (allergies destroy!), I did not lucid dream last night. I remembered a fragment, but was too exhausted to record it, and thus forgot it by morning.

I tried the MILD method for the first time in a while, though, during a nap. It didn't quite work, so I guess I need more practice. But! I did recall a dream, so it did work to an extent.

I was with my family in a car. One of those hired driver guys was driving us somewhere. He was looking at the map on his GPS or phone or whatever it was. He turned back to us and he said, "My way or the highway - my way is quicker!" And then he drove us on whatever route was not the highway.

I might've attained lucidity if it weren't for my piece of crap, broken satellite watch, which decided it was randomly going to beep from my dresser. Woke me up right away. I really need to get that thing fixed.

Aaaand now I'm going to bed. c: We'll see how tonight goes.

New totalitarian regime took over the world. I decided to escape that world, and ran away from cities to a desert that was used as waste disposal until the toxicity level was too high. I wanted to create my world there, changing climate, weather, buildings and landscapes with moves of my hands.

I created beautiful swamps, forests and moors. Fields, rivers and villages. The world was beautiful but empty, as no one lived in there. I decided to call for divine intervention, and quickly a god answered my prayers. It was a Random Numbers God. He send me a prophet - a pretty, tall, redhead lady. She told me to retrieve Supernatural Dices, and my prayers would be rewarded.

I ran back to part of wasted desert that was not changed by me, and called for the prophet. She appeared immediately, and gestured. A rock spire with a teleport on top of it shot out of ground. I jumped on top of small penninsulas, and jumped into the portal.

I landed on a platform hanging in void. It had huge leaves floating on water as floor. The water was muddy, though I could see crocodiles swimming in it. My mission was simple - run to the end of it, get the dices, and run back. On the way I had to jump on the platforms, punch crocodiles and pick up smaller dices, until I got to the end and received a huge die.

I ran back, meeting the same obstacles. When I jumped out of portal, I threwn the dices at the lady and then... I appeared in my toilet. I was taking a bath in bathtub. Suddenly I just started to s**t into the water. I really felt it coming out of me, and then the whole bathroom started to stink. I cleaned it later on.

I must've rolled lots of 1 when throwing dices at the lady. RNG never liked me.

I've been supremely lazy with my DJ lately, and now I've got that competition coming up! So, here's me trying to get back in the swing of things. An oddly strung-together non-lucid from last night:

I'm with my best friend J in my old room at my Dad's house. It's late at night and we're trying to go to sleep. Lots of things are keeping me from being able to. J is trying really hard but I can tell she's not sleeping either. There are lights and music on in the room (music task dangit!) and the bed is lumpy, tilted, and too small. Eventually we give up on falling asleep because it's like 6:49am (I remember seeing the numbers somewhere) and my Dad and some other people have come to talk to us. We're supposed to get ready and go to J's parents' house, so we do. I find myself with C, alone inside the house. I'm snooping around, dragging him along with me and showing everything to him. We end up in a back room that's for J's Dad. It's some kind of relaxing spa area and there's a thing that looks like a teeny hot tub. The jets are running and steam comes off the roiling water. I get in and sit down, barely fitting, and it feels great. I think it's for J's Dad's feet after a day of work. I tell C that we need one of these. Everyone else is outside and we can see them and their cars off in the field through big windows. We head back to the living room and as we arrive, so do they. We hang out in there and suddenly it's night time. I have brought with me some kind of oversized glass coca-cola bottle with a weird cloth lid and candy inside. J's mom remarks about how it's just like hers, which is sitting right next to it. We examine and compare them to find there are some small differences. Another transition (daytime now) and J, myself and a couple others are running around the outside of the house trying to avoid some people looking for us on the inside of the house. It's some kind of thing involving law enforcement and D is with them. The house is mostly glass windows now, so I see D walk into a room by himself. I climb up on the glass and Julie keeps running, not noticing I'm gone. D doesn't notice me either. I guess I'm semi-lucid because I phase down through the glass and just attack him and we start making out. We start floating and drift back outside, out and up. D's form becomes insubstantial and he disappears. I look down, awareness fading, and see a group of native people hanging out on a jungle-y shore beside a river. The glass house is still there, too. Over to the left edge of my vision is a waterfall. There are no trees next to the water, just large, fluffy ferns and stuff. The natives are having fun diving into the water and I begin to hear a male voice narrating, saying that they compare dives and see which one can do it better. The voice says "sea level" alot in reference to the depth of the water. Apparently this is the most important thing. I start zooming over the land, seeing different scenes of people and vehicles on different bodies of water. The last one is a 4-wheeler that goes on water. I see it ramp waaay up in the air and land back down in the water, where it becomes a hover-boat. I "zoom in" and land next to it and realize it's my two sisters inside. They're much younger here than irl. I get excited and become me again, saying hi to them. We're at the edge of a waterpark and apparently the boat thing was a ride they just went on. We go to where their dad is (they're half-siblings) and he's already getting back in line for that ride. We wait with him. His sister is there too, down on the ground (The line for the ride is on a wooden platform). We're all wanting drinks so we call to her to get some. No one seems to know where a drink stand is, so I look around. I see several small concession stands and more wooden platforms leading to rides. One of the stands has a lemon wedge sign and is called "Cold Rock Lemonade". I point this out to step-dad and he calls down to his sister about it. Later on, we're at their house (his sister is gone) and C is with me. It's just me, him and my step-dad. We give step-dad a movie to watch that we really like, then I see a magazine I want to look at. I look through it from back to front for some reason and when I almost get to the front, there is porn. Lots of little icon-sized pics of people. Half are dudes, half are chicks. I flip through this really quickly, trying to see if there's anything else, but nope. I close it and set it down, not acknowledging to step-dad that I found porn at his house.. lol. This turns into some weird movie that involves gay sex, then B (step-dad) and his dad (DC made-up version) get into a fight about gay tolerance and the old man says something like, "It doesn't matter what you're touching as long as it's what you want to touch" or something like that. He's really tolerant while B is not quite so much. They eventually get into a cartoonish fight and turn into big clowns. The old man has a weird metal apparatus attached to his pelvic region and at the end of it (it's really huge, like a crane) is a regular ol' hot dog lmao. He chases B with this, trying to poke him with it, and ends up chasing him into a gigantic pit. B falls all the way down into some really soft dirt with worms all in it. From way above, the worms just look like crushed up pieces of ramen noodles lol. But once the camera zooms down, they are giant meal-worms, flipping around everywhere. B is still a clown and is angrily shaking his fist and yelling.

Dream Fragment
An old fighter is telling me that he best up a legend. He tells me he beat up Bruce lee. I'm behind a door and his kicking it in trying to get to me. He can't seem To get in due to me holding it with legs. He's the brother of another fighter.

I think there were a lot of things on this dream, but I remember just one scene:
I was inside a small, square-shaped cyan room, and one wall was replaces by a giant fish tank. There was a giant pipe incrusted in a corner and some fish laying in the floor.

It was creepy, but the thing has turned creepier when the blue one flew into me (I'm sure there wasn't water) and tried to kiss me. I slapped the fish, but he returned and I slapped it again.
That blue fish was quite strange. It looks like a regal tang-colored angel fish.

Well, what do you think it means?

Morning of August 7, 2015. Friday.



This was an atypical extraordinary dream that was quite long and exhausting. I can only relate some scenes as much of it was abstract.

In one part of my dream, my wife Zsuzsanna (though at a much younger age before we met) seemed to be oddly played by the role of a white female; actress Mary Beth McDonough. After a time, she is more like a composite. As most people have learned over time from my extensive online journal, it is ludicrous that anyone other than the dreamer could associate or “interpret” anything in his or her dream. The idea is so preposterous (not to mention disturbing) that I could fill an entire book with how wrong this concept is. In fact, this tiny little facet of just one dream proves that.

No one but me could possibly relate why this dream facet manifested. It is because of one minor association between my wife and Mary Beth McDonough that only I could know, that being the deer symbol. This is because both my wife and her had photographs taken of feeding and petting a deer around the same age, and that is obviously the first thing that comes to mind for me.

No one but me could decode the next scene, either. Over time, I am concerned about this character’s safety. Her “parents” (though they seem completely unfamiliar) talk to me about her future and for a time, it almost seems as if I am the father. The male is dressed as in the painting “My Father Was Big As A Tree” from 1955 and does not remove his hat.

Something happens to where her fake father seems to be causing her trouble or preventing her spiritual growth by preaching some form of skewed Christianity. She sits on the couch with her arms folded much of the time. I begin to develop a special discernment that I cannot call lucidity, because I am not lucid. I tell the male that it is impossible for him to alter the destiny of a master since the patterns exist in the world itself. I become angry.

In this way as if noticing me as who I am for the first time (related to any faux back story), he seems to see me in a different light as I feel, for whatever reason, that I need to protect the actress (who is looking more like my wife-to-be). I feel an exhausting level of energy and blow out towards him as he shouts “Manny! Manny!” to his wife, and he transforms into a butterfly under my will as he escapes through the front open doorway of the unfamiliar residence. I expect him to not make it across the front yard.

“That girl was ta…” (thunder). Police cars take my schoolmate away. I want to live in the sky, away from humanity and those who so effortlessly prey on the innocent without remorse..and all the while playing the victim. I saw the signs and no one ever listened. No one ever does.

From here, I reach down and feel my left leg and notice it has transformed into a deer’s leg and I can clearly feel the foot. It seems very intriguing and vivid and I brush over the fur on my left leg. My wife is herself again and I am once again thankful that no other path would ever have given me life.

I then see myself in a painting where I am separated from humanity by a gulf that will always be reflected in “Alien Child” (as the original artist apparently saw himself). The painting “Alien Child” burns and so does “Hostile Butterflies”.

Only I know…

Morning of August 7, 2015. Friday.



I will try to refrain from another titular trend (such as “or not” in this case).

In my dream, I am once again on Loomis Street at my sister (deceased) Marilyn’s house. It seems to be early afternoon. My wife Zsuzsanna is with me at the house.

An unknown person (a young female in a jogging outfit, jogging southward) comes by our house and leaves a huge computer motherboard on our front sidewalk for some reason (just giving it to us, or perhaps thinking of our front yard as a dumping ground - this is not certain). The motherboard is about eight times the size of a real one. I am not sure what to do with it as it is older technology and I would likely have no use for it.

As I am wondering what to do with this junk, as it remains lying across our front sidewalk, along comes an (unknown and unfamiliar) older male that takes notice to it. A few other (unknown) people also crowd around for a short time. He asks me if he can look at it and I say yes (though I had not even looked at it). On one corner (upper left from my view), he takes notice to a particular chip which is apparently a bit newer than the motherboard itself. He asks me if he can buy it (the one single chip) for twenty dollars. This sounds very good to me and I feel quite cheerful upon hearing this. As I did not pay any money and someone else had just dropped it off for whatever reason, twenty dollars sounds good even if I give him the entire board, which I am thinking of telling him.

As the motherboard is lowered to the ground I notice at least six jars of peanut butter attached to it in a line over the top, each about two jar spaces apart, which seem to serve as some sort of conduit (or perhaps even additional power source). After several minutes pass, the male stands with his chin in hand gazing at the motherboard. He eventually looks at the chip again and tells me that the serial number on it is one day off from the chip he was looking for. This makes no sense to me as it is not relevant to specific timing of movement (such as with two cassette decks that are most usable when the model is identical, as the capstan is the same speed, or otherwise the variation would be too extreme for dubbing or oversampling).

He looks at me and seriously states “I’m not paying twenty dollars for that!” as if I was the one that told him that he should give me the money for it. I then tell him that he can just take what he wants, including the whole motherboard itself. I come to the conclusion that he is just “off his rocker” and do not say anything after this. The scene vaguely reminds me of one years ago when a very drunken male bought one of my father’s old tools (and I could tell he had no idea what it was, which was a very specialized large drill extension and I even asked him if he was sure he had use for it) and he dropped it on his foot and blamed me for dropping it. I am surprised he even managed to walk from the area. (My father had made a lot of sidewalk sections in addition to building public utilities and residential work in both La Crosse and Arcadia during the same period he was on the radio and local venues.)

This dream was precognitive (in some ways) of a message I received from a former member of one dream journal site, but I will not get into the specifics at this time. I can say that peanut butter often represents human waste in certain types of dream scenarios. The jars of peanut butter on the motherboard are a reference to what was said in a message about grooming and trolling on the Internet.

Night of August 7, 2015. Friday.



Oh no, not this “or not” again. (Someone slap me.)

Well, here is another little “weird” one. I do not have a Tower of Hanoi puzzle in real life (at least on hand) unless the baby-toy variation is relevant (my first guess being “no”). This is just a brief and skewed “anniversary” dream, I think, of playing around with a version of the Tower of Hanoi (and there are apparently several variations). Though it has shades of postcognition, I am more-so inclined to believe I might have seen the newspaper very recently due to the extensive level of research I have been doing of late.

One of the newspaper headlines I would have seen (while living on Rose Street) on August 7, 1965 reads “REDS ASK HANOI AID”. What this has to do with my dream, I remain clueless. Because the word “aid” appears, I assume it may be a play on help in solving the Hanoi Tower (which I have not really messed around with in years, the last time being a computer game version of it). Of course, maybe it is something that looks like the Hanoi Tower, and, specific to the date (August 7) perhaps metaphorically relating to three people who are passing something of a puzzling nature between the three of them.

No clue otherwise.

I was a general, leading an army consisting of cavalry and bowmen. We were moving uphill. We could see enemy forces down the hill, in a huge valley. After placing bowmen on the hill, with cavalry we charged the enemies.

Stained Carpet
I'm at my House and I see some footage of Eddie having sex with some girl. Shes above average in looks. Eddies dick looks dark brown and well endowed. Eddy is in Dave's room, which is eddies now. Ed asks for a drink and I go get one for him. I fill it up in a small glass that doesn't fit much in it. Someone is with me helping me through the process. The liquid looks weird, as it's looking like its overlapping each other. I take it to Eddy and notice a bad stain on the carpet. I stress out wondering how to clean it. Someone says to use a method where u clean it from underneath the floor boards. I ask about normal method of just dabbing it with a wet cloth.

Im at the park in marinda. Im with a group of people that are complaining about the stain. They're looking to take the other person to court over it. I check the stain again and it's fine. The writing near the stain has been modified a little and is off its angle a bit. I change my mind and want to tell them that we should just let it be and not sue. I see a warehouse. I'm trying to find faults in it. I see a tire sticking out a bit and a few bumps in places. Another group is next to us and they are warming up for something by saying chants. I imagine getting out group to do same thing.

I rock up at a house with brother. See Ron and older gentleman and someone else across the road. They're in garage sitting at a table drinking beverages. I give them a wave. I walk into the house we arrived and see Nat on the couch. Dave tries waking her up, and I join in and tug on her legs. Dave tells me not to do it, as she might get upset. Now Dave talks to one of a girls. I think a lot of these people are gay. I see 2 good looking girls come in, I think they're lesbians. One of the girls asses looked really small. I sit down on couch with my bro and the others. Bro tells me that we'll go soon due to thinking that I wouldn't want to be there due to everyone being gay. I say I'm cool with that, as I'm not anti gay. A guy sits next to me and pushes me into my chair a little. I say I recognize him. He tells me that he knows I recognize him because I wanted to beat him at anything. He's wearing a suit and looks important. Except his head looks a little big. He offers to challenge me at something. He explains the first step that is 5 draw poker. He says he's really good at poker. I feel I'm weak at anything that's not hold em poker. I see scene of cards, explaining the game

Dream Fragment
I'm sitting down at a school desk and Jane is the teacher. I think there's only myself and 1 other. I see text in my vision. It's got a few fruit emojis in the text. The emojis are spaced out oddly, so I correct them. Jane give a lecture on the reason why middle age women are not able to fall pregnant. She explains that it's in the mind and that young women don't seem to have that problem.