non-lucid

Morning of August 6, 2015. Thursday.



I am with an unknown male though also sense Zsuzsanna is around at one point. I am going with him to an unknown location, though I think it has something to do with recovering certain information on the other side of the river (possibly in a different town). We are both riding bicycles and it vaguely reminds me of riding with Kenneth W or James M at a distance (out of town or on the other side of town) that eventually seems too far, though my bicycle is functioning normally. There was another schoolmate that used to go with me most of the way home (only for a month or two), though oddly, I do not recall his name (one of the only names I had forgotten in my lifetime, in fact) and this may be the character I am thinking of. It seems fairly late at night and I can just barely make out land features.

We reach a bridge over water and cross it about halfway and I soon see it is slightly inclined to where it goes down into the water, submerged from there. This surprises me, as I thought the other male knew where he was going, though now it seems he is gone (or perhaps somehow already got to the other side). I am trying to remember if he did get to the other side (with a brief impression that he was in the water for a short time). I am not sure what to do. I am not sure if I should ride my bicycle over the surface of the water, ride in while half-submerged (with the bicycle wheels half-submerged as I cross the river) or just keep going and see what happens (though I do not really want to ride completely underwater). My dilemma causes my dream to slowly fade. I have had numerous similar dreams of partly submerged bridges and docks throughout my life since childhood. I suspect it directly relates to the waking process or state of consciousness itself as many other in-dream predicaments do (for example, a car crash may solely metaphorically represent the waking process and the termination of the temporary dream-self).

I might as well include another non-lucid dream with this entry since there is not that much to it. Caution: Violence at end. Skip to avoid.

I am shopping in a store I buy food at in real life, though it is quite different. I am looking in a very large freezer (much deeper than in reality - and it seemingly has no shelves) where there are mostly meat pie packages and a few other frozen items. I hold the glass door open for awhile and am somewhat annoyed as there is not that much food in normal packaging in the entire freezer (which is nearly the entire length of the aisle). What little items there are, are sitting on large cardboard boxes (I assume they are unopened stock) and there are also a few smaller boxes on top (a couple being open) and I contemplate getting out whatever I need as I thus far only have one meat pie package (probably containing about four to six meat pies). There are only a few loose items strewn about the top of the stack that I want to look at or perhaps buy.

I then see that there are three people on the other side of the boxes who are standing within the larger freezer area itself, the boxes of which are at least three rows deep and stacked to above the waist. There are two females and a male and at least two of them have clipboards and appear to be taking some sort of inventory. They are a bit to the left. I reach over to the right and move a couple smaller lighter boxes to get to another product, which may be the only one left.

“Why don’t you go somewhere else instead of f–king around here?” asks the male (who may be the store’s manager), sounding very annoyed. This surprises me because I am a customer in a grocery store just trying to reach a product. I inform the man that I am leaving (and I do) and that I will make sure none of my friends or family ever shop there again. (In real life, I no longer shop in the grocery store that absurdly promotes self-service through the cramped and problematic small self-service section with a trolley-full of groceries while the cashiers just stand around gawking as all the normal checkouts are blocked off.)

From here, I walk home (rather than continuing to do any shopping elsewhere), though the location and building is not that familiar, yet I know I live there with my family. It vaguely reminds me of some sort of unlikely composite of Duffy Street (Australia) and Arcadia’s North Monroe (where I have not lived since early 1968). There are many young people running around randomly in the front yard, perhaps involved in some sort of game (like informal soccer) or party, though there does not seem to be any order to any of it and some of them seem to be wearing very strange and random outfits. It may be some sort of high school or college event, such as a semester break (though I do not know why they picked this area as they obviously do not all live in the area).

As I decide to go around and enter my home through the back of the building to avoid collision or confrontation with what may be a chaotic group of addled college or high school students, a (unfamiliar and unknown) girl who seems friendly joins me. We walk to an area near the back of my apartment building (which at this point looks a bit like the apartment building across the yard from where I lived at North Monroe). The back of my building has a door to enter the premises (at about the middle of the walkway from where we are), though directly to my right seems to be another tall building so that it is like looking into a narrow alleyway. There are several boulders and large rocks within the alleyway which are blocking my way to the door (though realistically, it would be ridiculous to assume someone or even several people put them there by hand). “Who did this? How are people supposed to get into their apartment?” I ask the girl (who is standing to my left) angrily. The girl leads me to the other side of the building where the rocks are now mysteriously gone just from looking through the opposite side of the alleyway.

From here, we get to the back entrance where there is a screen door. A tall young unfamiliar male (though he seems almost thirty when I look again even though I first get the impression he might be a college football player) comes out asking “How are you doing, dad?” as if with mindless sarcasm related to my age (and I am at my own home after all and I assume he is not supposed to be there). At this point, I am annoyed, as I reach semi-lucidity and the waking stage at the same time. In previous dreams I used to shoot every annoying character during the waking process. This time I pull out a large knife and effectively run it across his throat as I wake.

This last part was strongly influenced by the “Secrets and Lies” television miniseries filmed where we used to live (where the father goes to get his oldest daughter and is insulted and pushed and told to leave by the younger male as if he had no right to look after his own children), where the little girl turns out to be the clever criminal and killer rather than the suspicious adult males or other characters. Sorry for giving it away but at least I spared you the misery of watching it. And yes, it was supposed to be a serious detective show.

Each night I was going out of a hideout with another dude, to vandalise and steal. First night we went into jewelers store. It was easy to pick the lock, and we entrered the store. It was dark, though we could clearly see our destination. I went to an energy box, and turned the power off in the whole building, so alarm wouldn't ring. After that, emergency generator in a basement started to work. I entered the dark, cold basement. There were shelves with boxes. I checked them, but found nothing of interest. I shut down the generator, and went back upstairs.

We proceeded to smash display cases, take jewelry, and set fire in the building. Then we just went away, walking calmly through dark alleys into our hideout. No one was bothering us on the way, and city guards were busy with calling for firefighers.

Next night, we wandered dark alleys for a while, and entered a park in the middle of the city. It was a pride of the city, with ancient trees. We took spray cans and started to draw random stuff on the trees. We sprayed most of the park, leaving only the part which had cameras working. When we noticed the cameras, we quickly escaped to hideout. This was not the end, as we were followed by guards. We had to hide quickly. The dude ran somewhere, and I started to climb up to the attic. I was in the darkness, watching the guard trying to find me, and then walk away when he couldn't.

It was cold morning. I was wearing a black t-shirt and brown trousers. I was going towards a bus stop. I waited for a while, and then a redhead woman drove to me in almost fully transparent car made out of crystal. I entered it, and we drove away.

Time: 4:00am

I sit in a light big basket and I jump to descend on the hill like place from a tall building. I am not going to crash but to land gracefully. It is going to a area which I am not comfortable to land I use my hand to reach one of the pointy structure and push it down to move myself up and land to another place. After two or three more pushes finally I descend to an watery place where I can jump into the water. After I land, I don't want to jump because, some people are bathing. One guy asked me, why I didn't jump. I say I don't want to disturb others especially I see a small boy swimming in the water with two more adults. The guy who received my reply smile. I wakeup and realise it is a dream.

Feel: It is a flying dream. I could have realized it is a dream.

Sleep start time:10pm.
Dream time: Not known ~ midnight.

One person say the dog is following you. A tall - my knee height dog started to chase me. I wish to chase the dog but the dog is faster, it seems it can run circles around me. After its attempts two 0r three from the dog, I felt disturbed and slightly irritated. I kicked the dog [at the same time my leg kicked physically and woke up from the bed]. I feel the dog is not at all vicious.

Feelings: I realise it is a dream.I chuckled and thought I should have realized that is a dream.

Going back to bed.

Morning of August 5, 2015. Wednesday.



More. There is always so much more. Just when I had finished “The Macaroni and Spaghetti Mystery - Solved?” (August 4, 2015), the Source decides to start playing with me again and confirm at least some of what I already knew, yet alarm me with another end-of-the-world dream. It carries much the same theme as “Explosion on the Sun” (April 26, 1972). I believe, just as with an atomic bomb, a catastrophic CME mostly only represents the waking process and the transition of energies between different levels of consciousness. I know this from “A Place in the Sky” (November 26, 2014) where I was able to “pause” the nuclear event (though it was still occurring extremely slowly, though so slowly as to not be perceivable or represent any kind of a threat) and thus my dream did not end and it became more vivid (though not quite to apex lucidity - though it did not “need” to be) and longer than usual.

In this dream, I am living with my family in a completely unfamiliar building. My mother is alive again and there are a few bags of books apparently from the library. We llive on the first floor of a building that seems somewhat commercial as the windows are like glass walls. The residence seems to be in a larger city. Along with books, there are also some music CDs and movies. For some reason, I find myself looking for a certain CD and cannot find it anywhere. I also note the variety of books, some quite large. I say something aloud about wandering why she had checked out so much as she will not have time to read all these books, or in fact, even finish one of them.

However, I realize that Zsuzsanna had also likely checked out several items from the library, including several children’s books. There are at least four larger bags full and I continue to search for something I was sure was there before but cannot find it now (recurring dream situation).

Meanwhile, around this same time period, there had been some solar flare and aurora activity that was not threatening in any way. It seems to have stopped. The time seems to be just after noon.

I notice one very odd DVD cover, a movie I am not familiar with and I am very surprised my mother had checked it out, as it looks like a very amateurish adult (X-rated) movie. I then see that the unlikely DVD had somehow duplicated itself so that there are now two copies, though this does not trigger lucidity. The cover is extraordinarily ugly and disturbing and vaguely reminds me of a vampire theme (though is more lamprey-like facially). It features a girl with a huge perfectly circular mouth, so large as to almost be twice its normal size and it almost seems I can make out gills on the inside (on each side). I find myself staring at this imagery in a typical “frozen” surreal dream event (similar to “Dennis the Cyclops” from June 1, 1988). The “lamprey girl” apparently seems to only serve as an oral sex vessel in the movie (I assume), though this does not make much sense in afterthought, as her mouth is far too large to be able to give pleasure in any way. As I continue to gawk at this horrendous image, an unknown female (possibly an implied secretary or nanny) comes into the room and asks me about the solar flares and CMEs, as she says “the sky is flashing again”.

I go out to the front room and notice that the sky is indeed flashing (that is, the light in the room is cycling as brighter and dimmer in perfect timing). I look out and see a very vivid and realistic scene of strips of plasma coming down from the clouds and setting things on fire when they hit. It seems like it may be the end of the world. Through the glass walls on the opposite side of the room, I see Julia (from “Under the Dome”) running towards our building with her side on fire and smoke coming out. (This scene was obviously influenced by the “Ejecta” episode of “Under the Dome” though it is not her that is killed by the fire.) I first thought she was my wife (before she got closer to the windows) but then I realize my wife is probably safe inside. Still, I wonder how long this will last and if it really is the end.

Shift. I remember the entry “The Macaroni and Spaghetti Mystery - Solved?” and realize what I wrote was correct, though there is more. Though macaroni does indeed represent the human brain (because of its appearance) and implied mental energies, “macaroni” is also an in-dream play on “my corona” (my crown). This causes me to reflect on another layer of “As the Worm Turns” (May 17, 2014). The worms falling out of my hair and becoming dried elbow macaroni are a play on the loss of “my corona” (my crown) in that I was leaving the dream state and no longer the king (though I was not lucid in that dream anyway - it was just more vivid than usual).

Also, the typical day-to-day precognitive layer follows (though as stated before I do not always document it online); my wife opened a letter from the library shortly after my dream and it said she had one overdue CD - which included songs from the “Twilight” (vampire) movie. I had no way of knowing this otherwise.

This also influenced me to have another look at “Dennis the Cyclops” due to it reminding me of the “lamprey girl” to some extent. Here are my words from that entry from my dream of June 1, 1988: “The ‘Dennis the Menace’ comic prior to this date was a gag where he said 'Guess what, mom! All the mirrors in the house look like ME!’ (and the one on this date - not yet seen at the time - having him ask Mr. Wilson, who is digging, 'Who buries the worms here in the first place?’ - nothing I know of relating to any 'explanation’ for this imagery other than the eye being partly mirror-like).”

Note the “worms” play again right after the unusual reference to what could be a play on Universal Mind (“All the mirrors in the house look like ME!”). Also, June 1, 2001 (not only exactly thirteen years after my dream but also exactly thirteen years after the “worms in the ground” panel he drew) is when Hank Ketcham, the artist of “Dennis the Menace”, passed away.

Ok I remeber i was in a space ship and we crashed into another planet. then after doing somethings I don't quite remember, the ship was fixed and we had new recruits. In the ship we had 8 passanger seats. I didn't know where to sit so I asked one of my recruits, Liara, "Can I sit beside you?" and she said alright and I sat beside her.
In the ship our recruits were Aliens (like those kind of Aliens in Mass Effect, Asari, Krogan and Salarian)
Our mission was to destroy gigantic robots on planet earth. So when we landed on planet earth, the sky was redish, and there were huge robots destroying the city.
We began going towards one of the robots, then I see a shiny blue colored orb floating in the air infront of me.
I asked what this is, and Kaiden said, "This is confidence. the more confidence we have, our chances of defeating these robots will become better."
"Um...Ok?" I grabbed the orb and began running towards one of the Robots. I used this grabber thingy (like the one batman uses sometimes) and i grabbed hold on the robots foot, and as I began to attack the robot, the dream ended...

Me and my brother were in this room listening and receiving some kind of advice or teaching from a Indian sadhu. As he was speaking he pulled out some marijuana and we participated in a smoking ritual. I felt honored to be able to do this and smoking greatly heightened awareness.

Me and my brother were hanging out some place in India around a large gathering of people as if we were at some kind of a festival. I commented to my brother saying India is absolutely amazing. I remember feeling the vibe being clear and carefree.

I was at the very top of a large tree. I wanted to get down but had no way of doing so.Eventually I did get down but it was extremely frightening.

I remember me and my brother walking at night time to a restaurant. I commented how I wanted to smoke some cannabis so that I could sleep that night.

I will be recording this one quickly. Didn't have time this morning, and I'm off to bed in a few minutes.

Non-lucid, still. My old reality check was with my old watch, and my new watch hardly appears in my dreams for whatever reason. I need to formulate a better plan.

I was at school, and we were watching a movie. It was a school I had never been to before, but of course in the dream it felt normal. I don't remember if I was in high school or college in the dream, but I think it was college.

I was also late to my next class because I was working on putting together a project - in my sleep-hazed words (in my physical dream journal that I keep next to my bed), the verb I used was "packaging" a project. I do remember something about plastic bags, now that I think about it.

Then I somehow had this girl's iTunes card, a girl I knew IRL waaaay back when I was in middle school. I have no idea how I obtained said card.

Weird stuff, eh? I've been getting a lot better with my reality checks and *sort of* better with recall so we will see how the next few weeks go. It will be a lot harder to do this during the school year, but that won't stop me this time!

fragment

i saw a small, black rabbit with wings in my room. i thought it was cute and fluffy, but when i held it in my hands its skin felt like sandpaper. i dont remember anything else

8.4.15

Still on night shifts. Last night I had night off, so slept all night and the afternoon before it.

It's afternoon now and I'm getting a feeling about bunch of dreams from last night.

1. I see and discuss some tall towrs on top of the mountains. Like signal relay towers.

2. Something about music.

3. I'm at the house with lots of greenery around it. Walking on a walkway, I stop and look at a branch on the ground. I start to see that it's a snake and I stop another person from walking over it. It's some kind of a jungle snake, like fur-de-lance. Next I see a rattle snake up in the vines on top of the structure over the walkway. Then there is a shed and a long jet-black snake is on top of the shelf with some straw. He is really long. I try to stop a person from opening a door right next to it, but too late. The snake slithers down and out way too fast. I explain to someone that it's either a racer or something similar, because of his color and size and speed.

I see a huge snake sliding very slowly through some bushes and he is sheding. Circumference of a large male's thigh. Real big.

Took Fry's advice and went back to old school state checks and awareness practice. Also read the old recall tips and got a voice recorder app. Ended up with 2 dreams, wbtb then one more dream.. I played a stupid video game on my wbtb which i know is not the ideal thing to do because it took me forever to go back to sleep. THese recordings are crazy to listen to. I sound like i'm on serious drugs lol.

Ronda Rousey is fighting for WSOF championship against Rousimar Palharas. She is afraid of being hurt.

I am rummaging through a clear tuppaware container next to my front door filled with coupons, I'm an extreme couponer.

A pro wrestler is trying to get me to buy commercial time for his flight. I'm not interested in buying. the wrestler is flamboyantly gay and is annoyed that i'm being evasive. It's also some kind of a sex scandal, he thinks i'm trying to give myself plausible deniability for something.


Digging this recording thing, first time having multiple dreams in a while.

I was in the parking lot of a street mall. I was trying to break into an empty store because there was some kind of criminal organization that had found a way in through the back door and were trading drugs in there.

I picked the lock and went in. There was nobody in there but there was a big pile of drugs and case of money. I took the money for myself then called the cops. I stashed the money in my car and went back when the cops showed up. They then arrested me, but not because I took the money, but because my car had a broken tail light.

They arrested me, but I felt like what I was experiencing didn't matter and was going to end in a moment.

...

I was in a toy store. All of the toys were in clear plastic cubes. I remember looking at one. It was a spaceship that had landed on the moon in 1988 and the astronauts had died because the ships' reactor had melted down. It wasn't so much a toy as it was a model/memorial.

Somebody told me too look at another. This one was just called 'lamb'. It was a little white lamb. But when I looked at it agian it was a white cat. I thought it was weird and I set it back on the shelf and started to look around. I looked back and the tiny toy had been replaced with a real white cat.

The cat jumped up and started hugging my face. The dream changed to my bed and I woke up.

First dream:
I was walking home from a church. I was feeling full of energy. But not because I was walking from the church... It was as if the further I was from that church the stronger energy I felt inside. In short time I was flying. Short time further, I was flying with such force that air was rumbling around me. Then I felt something from the bush growing by the road. I made turn and flew into that bush. As I was plowing through the twigs and leaves some short man ran away opposite way... I felt badness from him and I felt that he is a warlock... I flew further into that bush.
Then I flew into small clearing. In the center there were growing six thin trees in circle... in regular hexagon shape. On them the six young naked pure elves were bound facing in the center of the circle... There were three male and three female elves bound alternating on those trees. They were bound by some kind of climbing stem or very thin and weak vine... It was a ritual made by warlock I interfered with. Elwes couldn't break the bonds, even if that bonds looked weak. I tried to break them and it was very easy. The bonds were strong for the elves only... Female elves were very physically and spiritually attractive. I felt their force interfering with my self control. They warned me against touching them, that I will be lost, I will lose myself in the lust. O balanced myself and went into observer state. The feelings dulled and I could touch elves without losing my self control. Elves were impressed.
When I went to free male elves the female ones warned me that I can be shocked by males. I looked on male elf and He looked quite ordinary... As I broke through the bonds I saw that male elves had genitals long, below their knees It looked like phallus of a horse I wasn't shocked of course.
I took all the elves out of that place on the country road. I flew up and started to fly away with great speed, expecting the elves would do the same. After I flew above wide river or small sea? I landed on big island. I looked around and there were no elves following me... so I flew back. The elves were at the nearly the same spot where I left them. There was again that warlock starting to bond them. He saw me flying back and he ran away again. I freed them again and I told them that I will take them to safety by myself. Elves reduced their size to about 30cm height- their normal size I felt. I took them all and flew to that island. Elves were very grateful. I woke up afterwards.

Second dream:
I was immaterial in the black void... There was also warlock. He begged to me to give him second chance. I saw some kind of silvery pouch hanging there in the blackness on nothing. There was something in the pouch, it was vibrating... I reached out for the bag and my hand materialized out of darkness- silvery looking skeleton of hand. I straighten out my index finger and touched the pouch. My skeletal finger attached itself onto the pouch and I started to pull it back to me. I felt that if I pull more the pouch will be ripped open and that thing inside will spill out. Warlock begged even more and pouch was vibrating more. I dematerialized my hand and told him that he has his one chance and that he should use it well. Everything dissolved after that and I woke up.

Third dream:
I was living on the Island. Some king wanted to take that island. He has help of that warlock. That warlock wanted elves living on the Island. Elves came to me with proposal of help. They were grateful for my past help and wanted to pay it back. My people and elves, we built together big stronghold, very nice city. It wasn't hard to defend ourselves and break enemy army led by warlock. We created joint kingdom, humans and elves. Then the dream jumped in time and I was old. I was revered leader of kingdom. Very popular. Life was good in our kingdom. I was walking through very modern looking city. Some people asked me where I want to be buried when I die. I looked around and saw tall irregular rock, it was maybe 40-50 meters long and at the highest point it was widest- about 3 meters. I told them that they should bury me there. Then I told them that I'm joking and that they can bury my body where they want, I 'm not my body. That it would be a pity to pollute such nice city with stink of old carrion. We laughed on this joke and I woke up.

Fourth dream
I was again in black void, immaterial. I looked at the silvery vibrating pouch. I told to warlock that he wasted his second chance to make something good with his life. That he wouldn't be able to run from me with help of sacrifice of the pure beings(elves). Then I materialized my hand(again silvery and skeletal) and touched the silvery pouch with index finger. I pulled fast. The pouch was ripped open and silvery sand poured out. And vanished. Together with warlock. Only my immaterial existence remained in the void and after some time I woke up.

Remarks
It is rare occurrence to have serial dream for me.
Female elves were really, really attractive, it was as if it wasn't only physical lust in work, I felt like I was spiritually overwhelmed by their very closeness. Nudity had nothing with it in comparison of the feelings induced in my mind.
Was I impersonating the death in the void? There was complete peace there.

I remember I was in school and we all had brought our phones (even their chargers) and then the principle came and took away all their phones except mine. I remember thinking to myself 'It's because I was more discreet than the others...' And I smirked to myself. than out art teacher came and some of my classmates began talking about how attractive he was.

Then something happened, I don't quite remember, I think someone put a curse on the school and I had to go and break the curse, and for 5 days I kept going back and forth the under world and kept fighting this monster, with a really long neck. kinda like the picture, except with only one head.


On the fifth day I couldn't go to the underworld. I didn't know what to do when suddenly one of my classmate came and said, "you have to draw a hexagan using honey!" At first i was like 'wtf?' but then I agreed and began to draw a hexagan with honey, strangely enough it didn't work.
Then a woman's voice told me, "I can take you to the underworld, but for a price..." I quickly said alright and I was back in the underworld.

I felt my whole body was about to explode, I fell down on my knees. that woman's voice said, "This is the price you agreed to pay. If you want to stay alive, I suggest you hurry." I got back on my feet again and went towards that long neck monster. This time I tried to talk to it's senses, I don't remember quite what I said but it was something about, I defeated it many times already and it should just give up and I showed videos.
Then it dissolved into water and a Piplup appeared in my arms.


Ok then my dreamed changed a bit and I was back in the class (a different one though) and beside me was Akihiko.
Then I don't remember what caused me to do that, but then I shouted, "Sh-shinjiro!" I thought he was dead or he was going to die. Akihiko told me to calm down and that he's fine. I told him, "let's cook something for him.."
Then I went to the courtyard, obviously worried and concerned about Shinjiro and then the dream ended.