non-lucid

Waited too long to journal, almost everything is gone by now (noon), but I thought why not write that down anyways:

I was going across country, had some goal in mind to go to, but I forgot what that was.
But - the way led through a stall with pigs. And the guys working there and even me only traversing were rendered naked upon entrance, but not for any frivolities, but because one could afterwards easily get clean again by hosing down with a water tube.
Seemed entirely logical in the dream and the pigs were nice...

Another snippet - I went with a friend to a cafe and she found out they have a theater attached and also that taking part there, and generally going into theater would be her new goal in life and she went right ahead and started rehearsals with them.

Morning of May 5, 2015. Tuesday.



There is some sort of small rectangular container (not that deep and perhaps large enough to store four to six stacks of playing cards) on a desk in our (last) house on Barolin Street which seems to be for commercial endeavors yet not directly connected with us in any way - which of course seems a bit odd in afterthought - as if a part of our house just incidentally happens to be open to the general public for no particular reason (sparsely recurring concept but more common over ten years ago). Supposedly, it is some sort of lottery where a person buys a card - which I think could cost as much as twenty dollars (or perhaps less) and apparently circles one word in each of three columns, such as “bill” or “beak” in one column, which I see fairly clearly - though it also seemingly has features like a scratch-off ticket. It seems the words you circle have something to do with exponentially increasing your winnings if only the right one is circled in each column. We do not make any kind of a profit for hosting this lottery as far as I know (and I am not sure who the setup actually belongs to), and no other person comes into our house to buy one of the cards at any point, so all in all, the scenario makes little sense. We actually “buy” a couple cards (I am not sure how the money transfers) and I look at them more closely but we do not win anything (yet) as far as I know. The front of the cards have different closeup bird scenes and the back has the scratch-off and circling area. The upper half of the back is yellow. The word-circling area is near the middle.

Later on, I start to think that we could just take some of the cards and see if they are winners (as there is no one else around to see what we are doing in our own home). At one point, I find a smaller series of cards under one stack that is slightly different and I start to think about why that is. These other cards are mostly the same in design but are a little thicker, have a glossier surface, and are orange on the upper half of the back instead of yellow. For a short time, I wonder if they are counterfeits (possibly made in China). However, it may also be that they are just a different run or later printing. Still, I only keep several of the other type to check for winning ones. (Here, I will mention that there is no in-dream back story or memory of how the lottery came to be set up in our home in this way, and the puzzle about the other type and where they came from is not solved.)

It eventually seems that about five or six of the cards we take (out of about a dozen or more) are winners, though a few are of only a smaller value. However, I then start to worry that they will know whether or not a person actually bought them by way of an automatic checking of some sort of identification code that is only recorded and stored when a card is legitimately purchased from the right source. I am not certain of this, but I start to think that I may not do this, thinking of putting them back. (This idea of just taking something that is already in our house though linked to a commercial business that is not related to us is something I vaguely recall dreaming of in the past, but not with the specifics at this time.)

Training with warriors

It was in the middle of barren land. I was standing on a hill side, surrounded by warriors in full plate mails. We were training for a great war.

Bus drive

I went out of my home, and entered the bus at the bus stop. People were talking about nothing in particular. I was looking through the window. It was dark, spring day. Storm clouds were gathering on the sky.

Had several vivid dreams from last night...

#1
A beautiful wedding scene where everyone was dressed in white. It was so white! It was like everyone was getting married at once. I could not tell whose wedding it was because every time I focused on someone they were doing things that the bride would do (i.e., dancing, eating cake, kissing and hugging). It was not only women, but men were also doing this. I started feeling so happy I started dancing right along with them! I didn't want it to end.

#2
I really don't know how to start this dream after talking about the one above but here goes nothing...turn away now if you are sensitive

Spoiler for
:

I was invisibly f@cked. Yes, I know it sounds crazy but it's true. I felt myself being pulled to the bed and my clothes were removed and I was...err uh...yeah f@cked. It was so pornographic I can't even get into details here in the spoiler. I woke up feeling like I was raped and I need to report it...but to who?I even felt EVERYTHING but there was no one there. I was being tossed around like a rag doll but I was the only thing I would see (like watching myself in a porno film getting f@cked by air I don't mean to be anymore graphic than what I already am but I want to make sure you have an uncomfortable visual like I do. There was not one orifice on my body that didn't get violated. Are you ready for this...I woke up coughing, spitting, and choking. There, I'm just going to leave it at that

Can someone direct me to a lucid rape counselor?

Morning of May 4, 2015. Monday.



I am standing on a street corner in an unknown area, possibly in early afternoon, the intersection on my left. I am with my wife but there are at least four other mostly unfamiliar people in the immediate area including a male about twenty years older than me to my left. There is at least one other male who I think may be a coworker named Randy from over twenty years ago. There are also at least two older women in front of us. I think we may be waiting for a bus or possibly a series of taxis.

Eventually, I find myself holding a larger metal toy black car (possibly some sort of 1960s limousine), seemingly only a bit bigger than a Hot Wheels car. Over time, I see that the hood and trunk (bonnet and boot) both open. Under the hood, I am able to make out the details of the small faux engine, but there is not that much to it. Still, it is interesting to see all the moving parts. The doors also open. I eventually see that the front part opens downward somewhat like a lid to expose the front seat area. The dashboard and steering wheel section moves apart and down from the rest of the area, somewhat hinge-like (similar to when I took a few Matchbox Cars apart in real life). I accidentally move something near the seats a certain way and the steering wheel falls to the sidewalk. The older male picks it up for me and by this time I notice that there are two driver’s seats, including an additional steering wheel, the other in back. I do not really focus on how unusual this is.

I start thinking about real cars and tell the others that I own the car from the movie “Christine” (a red 1958 Plymouth Fury, which I have driven in a number of dreams over the years). I get the impression that I could bring this car to me with a remote control (though I am not sure that I have it in my pocket) but then “remember” that there are many other cars I could bring to the area - including the “real” version of the toy car I have (though apparently with only one steering wheel). Not much happens after this, but I do contemplate helping a couple others get to their destination (though I do not use any sort of remote and no real cars are ever visible). No bus or taxi ever shows up.

Meeting of wizards

I was standing on top of a platform, high above the ground. I was a powerful necromancer, meeting with a conjurer and elementalist.

Running away from the police

I went out of my home. I walked for a while, and found myself in an industrial street from VIII century. Suddenly I saw a minimap on the left bottom corner of my vision, and a star indicating that police is looking for me.

I decided to run away. I saw that they already surrounded the area. The policemen were wearing blue uniforms with strange hats. As I ran away, they shot at me. Luckily none of their shots were succesfull. I saw an old Ford car, but decided to leave it there.

Running towards an alley leading into slums, I found a gun lying on the ground, and took it. It was getting dark. I ran towards junkyard, and found a shelter that one of the homeless built before his death. I've hiddent there, preparing for a sudden attack.

Suddenly I saw someone coming. He was wearing black suit, and holding a suitcase full of money. When I looked at him, text saying "russian drug dealer" appeared above his head. I panicked and shot at him, but somehow the bullet haven't hit him.

Luckily, he just ignored me. After a short while of waiting, a soldier jumped on a parachute and landed close to me. He told me that he is a great general, and that if I want to live, I must accept his offer. He told me that I'm going to be a "Head Director Paladin".

Dark Lord

With group of my teachers we went inside some kind of crypt, buried underneath the school. It was dark inside, and there were many skeletons lying on the ground. Suddenly I recalled that I was there before, fighting with the undead. There were skeletons with huge swords, cloaked skeletons summoning other undead, and the dark lord himself.

The dark lord was a skeleton, surrounded by field of strong, pale blue energy. Despite having no tissue or skin, it had long, dark curly hair. Trying to survive the encounter, I fought every way possible. I ran towards small chamber, leaving most of the undead on a corridor. They had to run towards the chamber, which let me fight them one by one.

I took a huge sword out of my backpack, and slashed my way out. There was only the dark lord left. I knew that this particular undead is too strong to kill it with a mere sword. I focused and cast a "destroy undead" spell. Then my vision returned back to the school.

I told teachers that I was there before, but none of them listened to me. They just wanted to take any valuables from there, and seal it from the world. I estimated that all the junk they took was worth two thousand dollars.

When they went away to sell it, I entered the crypt. Suddenly I traveled back in time, and saw that it was a school cloakroom before. I looked around, and between closets I saw a girl sitting on a bench. She went out a while later.

I looked again, and saw that there were some cats running around. I realised that the horror had something to do with the cats. Suddenly a horrifying music started to play. For a long time I chased those cats and freed them. When there were only two of them, a weird man appeared.

It was an old, bald man with long, white beard. He was wearing grey suit. I took another cat, and went closer to him. He was holding a carving knife, and there was a cat sitting on the table. I asked "What's with this knife?" And the man stabbed the cat to death.

This angered me. I let the cat that I was holding before go away. I found a cleaver lying nearby. I made a long, horrifying howl and threwn it at the man. It made an arc and hit him in the foot, cutting it in half. The man started to scream in pain.

Then I realised, that I was responsible for all the foul ongoings there, as truly I was the Dark Lord.

FA - in home

I was sitting in an armchair. It was dark. I looked around and saw that my relatives were sitting nearby, and looking at me. Suddenly I heard a phone ringing. I took the phone - it belonged to my younger sister, and went back to my relatives. I gave the phone to my sister.

Night of May 3, 2015. Sunday.



I move directly into a very vivid lucid dream while still half-awake as I often do after watching or mentally exploring the hypnagogic visionary realms - and eventually am within my dream body with little effort. The first thing I focus on (for a longer period of time) is the silhouette of an old wagon wheel (probably stuck only about one-third or less into the ground), which had been near the “portal” as some sort of “signpost” of sorts (probably a good lucid dream trigger depending on where you live). Other than that, there is mostly only rain visible. I do eventually see human forms (mostly female, some carrying parcels) moving about now and then, but they are not running or ducking from the rain, yet which is so heavy, it is hard to make out any significant details. I feel very good and very peaceful and relaxed even as I contemplate finding my beautiful wife’s feminine form to indulge in sensuality and love-making with in the middle of the “street”, which is actually much like the main set of “Gunsmoke” (the old long-running television series) from what I can tell. Because my physical form is somewhat ambiguous, I can move in different ways from place to place, sometimes in-body, sometimes disembodied (with far more control than I used to have). The imagery seems to go from grayish to subtle lines of gold at times.

There is eventually what I first very briefly perceive as a very light hypnic jerk in my left leg (though it is more like a wave of extreme pleasure evenly moving through it), that takes me out of my dream body (though the imagery is still there as I am conscious again). This feeling is so ecstatic that I actually sigh “wow” fairly loudly and my wife (in real life) asks me what happened. From there, I mostly fall back into wandering the “Gunsmoke” set in very dense rain, which becomes more and more of a darker yet golden infusion.

I stood on the balcony and looked out at the yard seperating the apartment buildings. Large masses of fireflies flickered and shined bright in the four corners of it, looking like bundles of stars had been taken from the sky and placed here. Even when the street lamps turned on the fireflies' lights shown brighter and could easily be told apart from the lamp light. I dashed to the other side of the balcony to get a closer look at the right side of the yard at the firefly bundles there. I was in total awe at them, I just couldn't take my eyes off them, they were so pretty.

Alas though, soon I went inside but when I got there I noticed two fireflies had landed on my black t-shirt and clung to me as I walked. I smiled thinking it was the cutest thing ever, so I grabbed a small spray bottle that said it was good for fireflies and aimed to spray near them but it sprayed on them. Instantly they scrunched up and were still, their lights no longer shining. My reaction was horror. I killed two fireflies! Oh no! My second was worry, I wanted to return outside to watch the rest but I was worried, so I went to my mom. I asked her if fireflies became an angry swarm like wasp or bees did when you killed one of them. For the first dozen times she wouldn't pay attention, so I followed her around as she worked.

I returned to my room after a while and saw a huge beetle on my bed! It was black and huge, it had long black legs and a mouth in the shape of a crab claw. Somehow it's sleek black body turned gray and when my mom came in I asked her to get it off my bed, she agreed and walked over to it with a peice of paper. The beetle was now white. What was it shedded skin? My mom reached over to brush the unmoving insect onto the paper but it's head and mouth fell off and those seperated from each other as well. Seeing nothing wrong, she brushed the broken bug onto the paper and turned to throw it away. I asked her if fireflies became angry swarms like wasp and bees if you killed one of them, as she threw it away. She chuckled lightly and said no. Releived I threw the dead fireflies away with the beetle and continued enjoying the other fireflies' presence.

Notes Dream

Non-Lucid. I was watching someone play "Mortal Kombat 10" which I purchased 3 days ago, but it seemed more like a Soul Calibur game with characters from the Mortal Kombat series. Each character had 2 or more "icons" to represent them, and I remember that Sonya Blade had a green star and a gray skull to represent her.

I recall only brief moments of a campfire.

3rd of May 2015
I found myself at a indoor trance party, where a brown bag was missing. The decor that was inside the bag was present, although the actual bag seemed to be gone. As the set crew looked a intoxicated friend and I danced like hooligans oblivious and fooled around, throwing coins at the crowed that sat at the back of the dancefloor.
I drank a Maca smoothie and offered some to a airy fairy chatty Sherri while Ryno watched and turned down the offer for the same.

Eventually I looked in my bag and found the brown bag which everyone was looking for. Many where angry at me,a few appeared to be teachers, but it seemed i didn't give a fuck.

3rd May 2015
My girlfriend and I sat in a corner booth of a restaurant about to order a meal.The lighting was dim and sepia like, slightly romantic. Two guys,one being a Indian comedian, approached us and sat down. He then gave my girlfriend a flower and a pink box of dark chocolate with her name on it. I laughed inside thinking that he was about to get blown of while his white cronie stood and watched.To my surprise my girlfriend giggled and began to entertain his antics.
The green eyed monster,jealousy, immediately took hold but I somehow managed to control myself and walk away. Looking back at them made me nauseous, with him and here chatting and flirting.

I was working in the shop packing the shelves when an old man walked in and I realised that the float wasn't in the till.

I ran upstairs to get it and went back down and put it in the till. There was some long unnecessary procedure, but I went through the motions. Everything was really old - the filing cabinets in particular. They were those really old steel ones and where almost impossible to open they were so heavy.
Then I went back to repacking the ill packed shelves which had turned into story high shelves now. I had to climb high up to get to the top shelves which were the ones I wanted to get my hands on.
The top shelves on both sides were packed with duvets one on top of another in a step fashion, so the items towered out over the pathway below (and psychedelic pieces of cloth and decor).
I was talking to Lindsay as I was swinging and jumping across bars and shelves to get to the top.
Then there was a guy on the opposite side of the shelves on a massive round red beanbag (I think it was Matt from the free talks). We were now at a trance party and I was still talking to both of them while getting some order with the duvets so everything + the shelves didn't come falling down.
I offered matt the psychedelic decor because he said he didn't have a tent.



I was walking down a street with a pricing gun, pricing people for fun and laughing with everyone I priced. Everyone in the street was a friend even though I hadn't met them before.

I was in a house. Not sure whose. There were a lot of people. There were also a lot of food. I think I cooked some of the food. There was pancake with eggs on top packed inside a wrap. A woman showed it to me, while the other one beside her was eating. I think they were asking for more of the food.

---

Notes:

- 1:00 a.m. - 7 a.m., alarm
- Slept listening to Sam Harris' 26-minute meditation audio

Bed @ 10pm. WBTB @ 3am.

I realize I'm dreaming as soon as it starts. I'm face to face with an older, overweight woman with short black hair. I am excited I'm lucid but then I hear my phone ring. It's the ringtone of my work. Since I'm on call IRL I can't tell if it's my real phone ringing or if it's part of the dream. It reminds me of the hypnagogic noises I hear while having an OBE. The mental connection to my waking life wakes me up. I have strong vibrations.

At a dinner party A.F. is making balls out of mashed potatoes and serving them with gravy. "This will take patience. I like that." She says. She doesn't really like them and says they need something else. D says he knows just the thing. He adds lemon juice to the mix. I think she's pretending to not like them in order to stick with her diet easier. I have to drive out but can't really leave the area because there are puddles everywhere and really steep pitches of sand. I am worried I will get stuck in the puddles or tip over on the steep sand. Some vague things happen I can't really recall. I sense a mexican lady, shopping bags, and a bathroom. Back at the party the teen moms from the show are there. There's also a hot but immature UFC fighter staring at me. I'm in my hipster crop top and jeans, lying on my side and I want to impress him. Also most of my coworkers are there.

Spoiler for sexual content:

They showed me a video of them in the forest pretending to have an orgy, they were all naked and the men were erect. I thought, "that must have been really awkward to film...or they actually did have an orgy." My cousin B and her husband are there, except they're Heidi and Spencer from MTV. She complains she hasn't climaxed and asks if she can try. "Sure. I don't care." I respond. They go into a tent on a lawn right next to our table. I see her step out with a brown rubber glove on her hand, lubricating her fingers. I think, "maybe he's into that." Then an S+M coach emerges. B texts me and asks if these things are necessary for climax. I text her back that I've never needed those things, but some people like it.

As we leave the party we pass a wall with pictures of the party attendees organized by age. There's a picture of a man tinted in Gold. B.F. keeps talking about "Tom" who's 39 years old and a fantastic fighter who recently started fighting again. We drive out in Q's suburban. There's old, stale popcorn in the backseat. D and q try to clean it out. @ FF's A.F walks around in belly shirt and brags about her fitness level. She does look slightly slimmer than usual. She's getting rid of food scraps. I tell her to give it to the dog and she does.

I was responding to a DV post by my new dream partner. She tells me she will be a little slow with responses because she has so many obligations, like weekly workout classes. Her pic changed to a mirror selfie with a white shirt on, standing behind a little brother. I told her I have a lot of obligations too, like finishing up the school semester and workout classes. Then I remember I'm almost done with school and that I'm only going to one workout class one time, so I'm not really that busy.

A lady talks about how she brings her small, long haired, black/white dog with her to truck stops at night to murder people. I saw her murder a woman eating a sandwich outside of the truck stop. Then she gave her dog a bath and feeds it. Then I see a PSA where a young man at a party headlocks a young girl and shoots her in the head twice.