non-lucid

Morning of April 25, 2015. Saturday.



I am working for some sort of movie production company and we are actively filming scenes for at least two different American caper movies on the same day, holding a camera while in a pickup truck and in other outdoor settings. The movies seem to have attributes of “The Sting” (from 1973 though set in September 1936) and “Paper Moon” (also technically a caper film from 1973 and also apparently and coincidentally set in 1936). At one point, the passenger-side door in front keeps opening and partly closing, causing the driver (a member of the film crew) to zigzag all over the street. There are a few other filming mishaps but nothing that dangerous. (I believe there is an incidental play on the name Addie Loggins from “Paper Moon”, relative to both adding production costs and logging in to a website.)

There is also a subplot not related to the main theme. There are a few teenagers hanging out in what appears to be the last week of school (over time). A thin blonde male seems partly attracted to a light-haired female but does not always acknowledge her. This seems more as if it is being filmed in the 1950s rather than 1936. None of the characters in my dream are in any way familiar. I do not know any names in this scenario, either. A shorter dark-haired male is also interested in the same girl and at one point seems angry and sad about the other male ending up with her.

This is where events become atypical, although I have had similar dreams many years back, mostly only in 1990. Over time, I somehow occupy the bodies of the two main characters, both the male and the female, for fairly short periods for each and with an extremely augmented sense of touch and heightened general physical awareness. During each change, I actually intimately feel their emotions and loving thoughts about each other even though they are complete strangers to me personally. It does not seem all that odd to me in-dream and it is almost like I am an entity that needs to “remind” them of their destiny at certain points by becoming one of them for a short time and experiencing life through their individual perspectives. At some points though, I seem to be disembodied just on the periphery of their physical body.

I was on a mountain with 3 caves in sight. Each cave had a stone statue at the entrance. The entrances were very tall, and so were the statues. The statues were the guardians of the caves. I couldn't enter two caves as the guardians prevented me from going in. The cave that I did go in to had a dwarf like statue, like the one from The Hobbit. I went in, and it lead underground. It was very dark and there was a big pool of water. I was at the end of the line for a roller coaster. It was no longer dark but it was sunny with a blue sky. I was telling someone that this is my second time riding this. Which reminded me that there's no line at all, it's just empty unlike the first time. I got in, and the ride began. There's a drop and it felt so real. I had to hold on to the side of the roller coaster and that's when I realize something's wrong. The bar wasn't down for my seat. Or anybody's. I yelled that the bars are not down. I told someone to press the emergency button. I checked for it on the ride's ceiling on my side (there's not a ceiling). I then checked the front and saw it right above someone. I yelled for the front to press it. The guy right under it pressed it. I saw the word "cancelled" flashed on a rectangular screen on my left. The ride turned back around.

Still no more luck on the dream recall situation. Only one dream. (But they're more fragments that I just tied together than just a whole dream recalled).

Long jumps and neighbourhood

I was at school in gym class. We were doing some event thing so everyone in class were just walking around the halls, while everyone else in the school were at their classes. I remember that a cake suddenly appeared in front of me on a plate and I was taking bites along the way. None of the class seem to cared. We reached the gymnasium again and we were doing this long jump sort of thing. I recall not jumping very far. Then the teacher said to get in partners and one partner had to be in the middle of the other's path when they were running. Basically, when the guy ran and reached a reasonable distance from his partner, he then had to jump and his partner had to grab his foot in the air and push it up, making him go further. I was the one running and my partner, sure enough, was able to push me up making me go further. I remember staying up in the air for a very long time, slowly going down as though I was experiencing a low amount of gravity. It was very cool. The problem was when I was landing, and I was sliding on my side. I couldn't stop myself from sliding to eventually hitting the wall, though it was more like hovering over the ground, but my knee hit the wall before my head, and for some reason I didn't feel any pain. Our class then continued down the hall and I was eating my cake also. The scene then changed and I was on the bus. I passed my stop and had to stop at the next one and walk further. I remember a person I know from waking life being there, only in real life he doesn't take my bus. He stopped at the same stop as me and we continued down the same path eventually going separate ways. The scene then changed and I was in an empty classroom. The desks were arranged in such a way that they represented my neighbourhood. The guy I talked about earlier was there too. He was in some section of the area I recognized. He said he owned around three desks there, or "houses". I then went to my own desk, or "house," and there was more to the dream than just that but I forgot.

I miss the wbtb alarm but end up thinking about lucidity and how nice it would be to have one just after pressing the final snooze.

In the neighborhood where I see a family friend talking about something, then someone calls another DC and we head back home. As I get out of the car I look around, my awareness goes up and I realize this is a dream. I can relate the place I am at to a previous dream (near where I was standing when examining the plates possibly after that) and wonder about my awareness then. After giving it some thought, I become convinced I had a lucid moment at some point in the dreams before. A nearby DC tells me it was indeed a lucid dream. That makes me feel even worse that I wasted a lucid moment and didn't do anything.

"If you have a lucid dream, then do a task rather than just lose lucidity" I think angrily to myself. Ok, time to do that right now. I remember the hole task and hastily put my hand in my pocket, trying to get hold of something. I feel a small round object and concentrate on the floor ahead as I throw it forward. This time (compared to couple of days ago) it produces a nicely sized somewhat transparent dark hole. I stare at it for a bit longer and then cautiously jump in. I end up on the ground laying on my side in shallow waters at approximately the same dream scene. The water has some strange properties - it's in partial existence and feels different. I get up and look around. The snooze wakes me up.

So I'm at my grandmas house for the entirety of the dream. Some family is here with me, both my sisters, my mom, and my grandma. I keep tonguing this little thing that I feel in the bottom tooth right before the wisdom tooth. It feels like it'll come out loose each time but its hard to budge. The whole time I'm thinking it's a piece of food or something. Then finally I feel it snap off and I feel 2 solid shards of something and instantly know what it is, it's pieces of mercury filling and I panic and spit it out into my hand so I don't accidentally swallow them. The main shard is larger than the little secondary bit. I run and show my family and I'm worried because I feel like mercury vapors are now going into my system. Then I start to eat for some reason, and then this girl who I don't know and don't know why she's in my grandmas house yells at me that I shouldn't be eating when I broke the mercury and that all the food touched it and went into my stomach. I panic and start to feel sick and contemplate making my self throw up the poisoned food in me, but I don't and instead try to shoot water in my mouth to clean it all out. Then my family leaves, they have to go somewhere for a little bit and I'm left there alone. For some reason I can't stop fixating on my teeth in the bathroom mirror, I look to see the tooth where the mercury broke off, and notice how disgusting and rotted all my teeth are. I become confused as to why nearly all my teeth now have mercury fillings because I thought I only had two. (In waking life I only have two and remembered this in my dream). There's brown spots and the teeth are yellow and sickly. I go and walk into the dining room area and stand there anxiously waiting for my family to come back, I feel like I need their help in the matter. Then while waiting I feel the upper tooth next to one of my big front tooth's become wiggly and I try to bight it back into place but then I hear this crackle noise that I knew meant the root just cracked out of the gum, then I just let it fall into my hand, I look at it and it's shaped weird I notice and it had two sharp thorn looking things that i guess were the roots, the tooth is brown and yellow and seems to be swollen. My mom comes home and I show her the tooth, she is disgusted by it rather than wanting to help me, she squeezes the tooth for some reason and I hear a crack and she drops it to the counter with disgust and says it's disgusting. I look at it and see she cracked the tooth open and it was completely filled with brown stuff that feel out of it that looks like beef jerky pr something. I just leave the tooth there and go look in the mirror again, because my mom left again. I look to see the spot where the tooth had fallen from, but I don't see any spot without a tooth, and then I realize that there must've been a tooth behind the tooth that just fell out, it relieves me. I examine it in the mirror, it's not aligned with my front teeth but I don't care, its smaller like maybe it'll grow in more, and its bright white and healthy. Then I feel a group of teeth on the bottom about a row of four of them feel really wiggle, and I try to bite them back into place, bite the roots back in, but they just wont, I hear that crackles noises of the roots forever displacing, so I let all four teeth fall into my hand. They're all yellow, I put them on the bathroom counter top and look in the mirror expecting a big spot on my gums with no teeth and also all the other teeth being disgusting, but then I'm shocked to see in the mirror all my teeth there, and they all look healthy, vibrant white, in alignment, I'm so shocked and pleased to see such thing I almost wanted to cry with joy, and I think to myself, my teeth have never looked so nice like this and that I shall want to smile to people, to everyone. The teeth felt strong, not on the verge of falling out like the other ones.

From the classroom to jungle

I was in school, sitting in classroom with other people. My English language teacher made us test from relligion. I took a pen, and looked at the test. Suddenly I got teleported into a jungle. I was surrounded by huge trees and smaller plants.

I started to climb one of the trees. Looking around while going higher all the time. When I reached the top, I saw a beautiful view. I jumped down and landed safely on the leaves. Next I started to run around and hug all the trees.

Before the first WBTB was a pretty dry and unclear semi-lucid. I recall something having to do with an evil dream character making spikes appear and killing my cats and family. I became partially lucid, to the point of not caring because I knew for one reason or another that what was happening was not a part of reality.

-WBTB-

The second dream was really long. I remember my friend S's comic characters being involved. (But I cant give names or tell what they did at the risk of spoiling his comic. Not that I remember much of it anyway.)

...

I was in a neighborhood with one of my college suite-mates. Someone started yelling that we should look at the sky because he saw a jet figher plane. I looked up and saw a small plane fly over followed by a whole squadron of big, slow moving green bombers.

Someobody was shouting that the United States was under attack by another country. The bomb bays on the planes opened and bombs started falling out. I said to my suite-mate that we should try to find a shelter or basement to hide in.

But before the bombs hit the ground they all began morphing into all of these different random things. One of the bombs turned into Santa's Sleigh. Another one turned into a Unicorn. I just remember a lot of colors, and all of the bombs-turned-random things shot off in random directions.

Somebody started getting really excited because they thought that it was the spiritual awakening where magic had returned to world, and all that they had foredcasted and all of the things that had appeared from the bombs were the changes in the world that they had brought about.

I did a nose-pinch reality check and became lucid. I told the dream character I was sorry, there wasn't some kind of spiritual awakening, but rather just my lucid dream. The dream character got really mad with me.

...

I was at a train station, but there was no train tracks. This little futuristic pod came along where the train tracks should have been. The door opened indicating I was supposed to get on. But when I tried to walk in closer the door closed partway and a force field projected through it.

The voice of the DC from earlier started talking and was apparently very mad with me for ruining everything for him and telling him that it was just my dream. He told me that I wasn't allowed onto the train until I had an imagination again.

-WBTB-

The third time I fell asleep didn't yield any dreams.

Non-lucid / Lucid / Awake

#1.
I'm walking down some stairs, talking about a friend of mine. I say she's very bossy and annoying and when I look behind me, I see she has heard everything.
A little while later, the same thing happens. I talk about the same friend, say she's annoying and then I find out she's walking in front of me and has heard everything.
She takes me outside to look at an almost empty parking lot. At first I think she's gonna talk to me about what I said about her, but surprisingly enough, she doesn't. I'm mad at her but I don't know why.

.#2
I'm in a big hall, crowded with people, when suddenly Justin Bieber approaches me. I stay cool (I'm not a fan but he is pretty famous and shit) when he talks to me. He says some perverted shit and I get angry. Then he tells me he wants to have sex with me and normally, in a dream, I would agree to have sex with him but I'm still angry and tell him to go fuck himself.

#3.
I wake up in my bed and instantly know it's a dream. My bed, however, is very warm and comfy and I just don't want to get out. I look at a mirror on my desk to see if I can summon something scary because I'm in the mood for some scary stuff but it doesn't happen.
I pull my blanket over my head and just enjoy being in my bed. Then I realize I'm wasting my time in a lucid dream so I jump through the window.
The detail outside is incredible! The streets look just so real and so does the sky. I'm amazed and decide to find Castiel (from the tv show Supernatural). I approach two boys to ask them where Castiel is, but they run away. Before I can run after them I wake up.

Morning of April 24, 2015. Friday.



In a less physically defined state, I am “remembering” my completion of the most recent education progress report. Everything seems as is in reality except that I am aware I have added an mp3 file on the companion CD. It is the recording of Roger Miller’s “Walking in the Sunshine” which I heard very often in my childhood. I pause and think on this for awhile. The CD is already made (false memory) so I cannot remove it if I need to, because it begins to dawn on me that I should not have this recording in the report since I had not written and recorded it (typical goofy in-dream “logic”). Over time, I mentally “fix” this and the CD is as it should be.

I had gotten my hair done because it was New Year's Eve and I was going out with a friend. I walked into the ballroom and saw Betty White and my aunt, Laura (she's 86 and lives in another state) - she's been on my mind b/c I haven't seen her in a couple of years and I'm going to go this summer at the very latest - I went to Laura, hugged her and asked her what she was doing there. Then, I saw Mom, started to cry fairly hard as I was walking to her because I knew I was dreaming b/c I've been RCing with my parents and my sisters. I woke up before I got to her...and was so disappointed b/c I want to see my parents (who have both passed away in the last few years) in my LDs, I tried to lie still and go back into the dream but I moved and couldn't go back to sleep right away. All three ladies were in floor length gowns and all three looked very pretty. In WL, my mother died three Christmases (two days before) ago and she died from cancer and weighed 90 lbs. and was frail and in pain when she died so I have these horrible memories and I can't hardly remember all the good years - I totally enjoyed my parents. So, even if it was for just a short second, she looked beautiful and healthy and I'm grateful to have seen that.

Dream 2

I don't recall what happened during non lucidity but something happened that made me lucid.
After that I became Lucid and started walking around a huge facility where there were military figures.But I didn't want to be there so I went somewhere else and started thinking about the book I was reading "The Diary Of Anne Frank". I started thinking about the place they were hiding in, how many people must have died, and became scared i might connect with something demonic. (I doubt demons can read minds unless they go inside of you though...That would be pretty unfair.) Its one of my fears anyways so i started thinking about it and suddenly I walk up to a metal silver door that has a small rectangular opening to the side of the door. I try looking through it a bit and see nothing but darkness and can feel the presence of something dreadful inside. I get scared and decided to move away from the door when suddenly I appear on a bed in a room.

To my surprise when I sit up there is a head of a girl attached to my stomach. I slide off and try to get the head off me but than I feel an intense pain in my stomach that makes me bend over. It hurts me too much even if its a dream. Its like having an intense period pain but in my stomach which is the best way I can describe it. I try to get my mind off it but than it feels like someone is stabbing me with full pressure into my stomach. I pray a little thinking about how I may have made a mistake in my way of thinking and wake up just after mentioning something bad about the dream.

After waking up I thought about the dream a bit and wanted to overcome the fear that I had. I wanted to see the good side to the story. After all the girl and family didn't seem like a horrible family in the diary. They sounded like normal people.

Dream 3

I was non lucid inside a school cafeteria with little kids watching them. One of them asked me if i wanted the silver chocolate coins I had. I said she could have it but when she opened it to our surprise it was empty. I walked to another nearby table after that and saw a little girl laying down on the table. I told her to get off the table but than she started looking more and more attached to the table as she laughed with the other kids.

After that I started thinking of how I wanted to see Dawn and appeared in a pretty looking wooden house. I began climbing up the steps thinking about him and began to glow really bright with white light surrounding me. I than started looking more like Dawn as I walked up the steps and had a long sword to my left side. I held onto the sword and began thinking about how good i was doing that I wasn't letting my fear of demons get to me. When i reached the top I saw a huge caterpillar type of monster flying in the air. I was thinking of how crazy it would be if it was a parasite but wasn't willing to fight it.

I backed up in the room I was now in and looked as a black/yellow caterpillar type thing flew in from above and started to swallow or grab onto the other green caterpillar. I was intrigued by the situation but than I appeared near a school [Maybe the recess spot or back of the school] in the snow not lucid. There were kids and parents who had finished exiting the school and were having fun playing in the snow. After I was looking around I decided to rush home through the snow because I didn't want to waste time just looking around since there was nothing for me to do there.

But too quickly I appeared inside my older brother's room with my cousin. She turned the t.v. on and I told her to turn it off because I wanted to watch my show on the laptop. Than after i turned around I appeared inside my parent's bedroom sitting in front of the t.v.There were people dancing on the t.v. and I thought it was Family Ties cast dancing on it. I saw the volume go down and turned to see my cousin. I got mad at her and told her to put it back up. She put it back up, reluctant at first and than everything in the dream disappeared but a old looking somewhat burnt paper popped up.

I realized I was in a dream than and was about to wake up but took the time to read the red sentence on the old looking paper. It said something about finding Wifely's thin cloth. I kept guessing for a bit and when I was satisfied I woke up.

Now that I think of it I probably woke up because i thought it was the end of the dream but I could have probably changed it. Oh well, it was the last dream so it probably wouldn't have lasted long. I also felt a reassuring feeling because I didn't let my fears get to me in this dream. Since

Raphael from TMNT has a pet pigeon with great intelligence. He is out walking on the streets of New York with the pigeon in a cage, precariously balancing on his shell. Now before they had left Donatello had put a bird cage on Raph's to mess with him and to maybe get him to shut up when he was complaining back at the layer from being bored. Raph was annoyed but for some reason never took the cage off his head. He did continue to complain about being bored because of there being no trouble in the city. The pigeon chirped or whatever in response, making subtitles pop up saying its response. " ....... ... is over zaless [or zailence or some word with a zay sound in the beginning]"

"I know what you mean." Raph responded.

I watched as they walked around the corner, Raphael continued talking. "You see that melon on the corner it could've been a .......... POW!"

He repeated that sentence but ended it with a SPLAT instead.

I was in a forest. I was with some people. Then there was only me and a woman. We had sex. After that, I walked away and kept thinking if I used a condom or not and hoped that I did. I felt regret as I walked away.

Notes:

- Slept at around 10:30 a.m., woke up around 3-4 p.m.
- Was awake for over 24 hours.
- Had a lot of coffee.
- Met with a potential tenant replacement.

Morning of April 23, 2015. Thursday.

Dream #: 17,657-02. Reading time: 2 min 15 sec.



My sleeping dreaming mind is separate from my unconscious mind (and over twenty years of memory) in an altered version of Loomis Street. Instead of Marilyn dying recently (though she did not die while living at Loomis Street), it is about 1978. My brother-in-law Bob’s appearance matches that time. I am in their house, sleeping on the floor in the south room, with my head west near the windows. The bathroom is more like the bathroom of our present home. When I am in the bathroom, I vaguely recall my identity.

I am building a new foundation of instinctual dreaming practice (to deliberately enhance my dreams). I have placed about one and a half inches of blue electrician’s tape on the door vertically, on the right side above the doorknob at eye level. I test it by going close to make sure the tape center is at eye level. It may produce more personal and vivid dreams. I adjust it by sliding it around on the door like a magnet, which would be impossible. I vaguely think about my brother-in-law questioning why I put it there, but he does not. He passes me in the small hallway. I want to make sure it remains in place. If it does not, there is the concern that my next dreams will be less expressive of my desires. There is also something to the left of the blue tape (near the middle and at the same height). I am unsure of what it is. It seems like metal, related to the tape strip’s function.

Later, I am again lying on the floor to rest. There are many miscellaneous objects near my blankets, near cardboard storage boxes. I start thinking about why I did not go to Marilyn’s funeral. It seems strange I did not go, like lost time. It seems related to how only a few people (mostly female relatives) went. Perhaps her husband did not go. It does not enter my imaginary dream self’s erroneous mind that I did not go because I live in Australia.

While settling on the floor to sleep, I notice big ants close to the wall, near my head. There are also at least two big ants near my feet. I trap those under a Lego brick. I crush a few others, and none of them get close enough to bite. I slowly wake in the position I had been in my dream. My waking-life memory and identity slowly return, and I feel relieved and happy about being with Zsuzsanna.

My dream’s dynamics stem from a lesser urge to wake and use the bathroom, but the ants finally increase my attention to contemplate where I am, getting me to think more about where I am sleeping, and my emerging consciousness activates. Ants coming out of an anthill is an analogy to emerging from the dream state.

---

The rest stems from instinctual dreaming and dynamics to prevent associations with waking life. Because thinking skills are not viable in subliminal space, there is confusion. I mix several concepts into an amalgam. The amalgam includes a loose association with my use of a cassette TAPE to script dreams. That distorts into electrician’s tape. It is additionally confused with the stickiness of magnets. A door isolates the imaginary dream self from conscious identity but can be used to exit the dream or vivify and sustain it.

---

Dream journal

I was reading through dream journals list. One of them caught my attention. It was a dream journal of a russian dude. I felt that it has all the informations I'll ever need, and something told me that I should read it. His entries were built from brief descrition, and content of the dream placed in a spoiler. I looked at one of the entries.

Description was in English language, and it said about his preparation for the dream. Opening the spoilers I saw only some cyrillic letters. I opened a translator in a second window, and tried to translate it. When I typed it, I received more text in cyrillic as translation. I closed the spoiler, and tried to read another of his entries.

Description in the entry was made of three cyrillic letters, and the spoiler was empty. I looked through the list of his entries, and got only confused. I closed the browser and turned my laptop off. I looked through the window. It was midnight, I couldn't see anything.

Suddenly I spotted a shape looking from the outside, through the window. It just stood there in place, without making any moves. I felt it's gaze upon me, but I wasn't afraid. I closed the blinds on the windows, and took a lantern out of my pocket.

Then I could see the room I was in. It had wooden floor, and cracked concrete walls. In the middle of the room there was a table with my laptop placed on it. The table looked like it's going to collapse. There was no chair, or anything else in the room.

I couldn't see the door, the window was only way out of the room. I opened the blinds, and then opened the window. I went out of the room, and the shape appeared again.