non-lucid

I was in school at the German language lesson. Tables and chairs were scattered all around. I sat near somebody and after a while the teacher gave us some newspapers. In each of them there were descriptions of ourselves and a crosswords to fill.

I looked at the newspaper and readen it. The lesson was German, but we received texts in our native languages. I took a pen and tried to fill empty places. I filled only one of them, and the word I put in was "MITSI" or "MISTI"

Backlog: 28 April Part II

I do a quick mental review, briefly think about tasks, toss around and then fall back to sleep.

About 60-75 mins (timed) worth of sleep, with about 3/4 of it lucid. Yet, I remember only fragments here and there mostly of some of my actions.

Earliest point. It seems I became lucid in the first couple of mins after a brief nrem period. No distinct bodily sensations upon falling asleep. I immediately recall a number of the tasks. The speck of dust totm comes to mind again and I allow myself to be lifted up in the air. I briefly think about the bird glide dream flying mode and that it actually doesn't involve active flying but using the wind as well (in the case of no flapping). The wind carries me over the streets of this unknown town. I then get down to street level and try to recall other tasks. The only thing that comes to mind is Earth bending where you have to create a mountain. I look ahead thinking about a mountain appearing and as I stare in the distance I begin to distinguish the features of a mountain and the view is quite clear too! Feeling very excited about this!

Near the same location as the mountain totm, on the streets, I wonder what to do and think that I should try the totys. At the moment, I don't remember almost any of them apart from the (God of Wine) drinking contest task. I spot a nearby bar just to the side so I enter ready to get drunk. I'm trying to pick what to drink, not remembering if the task required a particular alcohol or not. There is a large beer glass waiting invitingly on the counter. Yet, the DCs around look terrible, and this whole place smells like spirits in a rather unpleasant way. I don't like the atmosphere so I leave and walk around allowing the place to change. In the end, I opt for entering another place altogether like a bar again, but looking much better. At this point I am aware that am supposed to have drinking buddies or rather the other competitors Hercules and Dionysus.

A number of DCs join me and I think they are appropriate, wearing antique clothes, though Hercules isn't as muscular as I would like him to be. And the other DC (God of Wine) turns out to be Leonardo DiCaprio! I find this particularly amuzing and think that he fits the role of Dionysus. I then finally correctly decide that we will be drinking wine and grab a bottle from the rack near the wall. Slightly confused as to whether we are supposed to be sharing the same bottle or each should have his own, I pause for a minute. Then a couple more bottles materialize in the hands of the DCs. There is also a third DC. We raise bottles for a cheers and then the other DCs drink some of their wine. I start pouring the contents of the bottle in my mouth. This takes longer than expected for a dream, but other than that is extremely realistic in terms of sensation. It really feels as if I am drinking, and pouring the contents of an entire bottle, hence the length in drinking time. This even worries me that the dream might end from too much focus on only one thing, but the bottle is finally empty. The other DCs have no more desire to drink and I emerge as victor in the contest!

End of memory. Dream transition.

In the next part of the dream I do not do almost anything actively, but rather try to spend as much time in the dream simply walking and looking around. The strategy is successful, but overwhelmed with the amount of information, I don't recall amost anything in particular detail. As I go from one place to the next I am convinced to have discovered the key to spending max time in the dream without interruption, that you can have an entire REM intact without the fade outs.

Actually, I do remember now that I feel the need not to look for too long at particular objects. My clarity was much better when I was moving and only paying minimal attention to specific objects, as compared to when I was paying more attention to them. I felt like I had no interest in them whatsoever either, I saw no point?

Fragment: I read a female name somewhere and I repeat it many times out loud because I want to remember it upon waking. I even make some DCs shout it. No idea what the name was.

At some point I find myself inside this place and recall another of the element bending tasks - to set something on fire. Me and another DC are in a building so I try to set one of the corridors on fire by summoning flames on the walls. I also get the other DC to do the same, but neither of us is fully successful - though we manage to get the corridor to be covered in orange colored fire like decorations.

I continue walking around, trying to maintain my attention, but notice this is becoming quite tiring. As I enter the next room, it is a dark room and everything is very blurry. I immediately begin to feel that this has an effect on my attention (especially after so much exercising it) and that am starting to lose the dream. I try to flip a light switch, but of course it does not work. At this point I try to will the lights to turn on, which lights up the room, but by increasing light coming from the outside. Nevertheless it has the effect of restoring the balance in the dream. I am rather mentally exhausted at this point to keep focusing on the dream and thinking what else to do. There are a few DCs in bed and after some contemplations, decide to enjoy some side activities, which are unsuccessful as the male DC is not very interested

I lose lucidity and then this becomes a non-ld scenario with me and the male DC with confusing explanations from his side. We continue exploring the building.

Backlog: 28 April Part I

The earliest moment I recall from this dream is that my PC gets broken and me and mom are calling service overseas, trying to fix it. As part of the procedure we need to participate in a court hearing.

The scene changes to outdoors, where I see Emma Swan give a presentation as part of the hearing. I go ahead, talk to her and have a false memory about another cool movie where she was playing. I make more compliments as we go along.

At some point I experience being myself and also being part of the story, fully participating as the main character. I am the evil queen, who (I'm told or remembering) wants to become rumplestiltskin. There is a super cool magic object that belongs to the dark one, a golden hooded cape, where I can see his image live as a spirit talking to me. She (the evil queen) is supposed to put the cape on, thus becoming one with rumple. I also have rumple's dagger, which is the same color as the cape. I put it on and look in the mirror. The cape later transforms into a long nice red leather jacket and I look really good. I consider taking a photo, though know that there's no point in doing that.

Little John's people are outside of the castle now. I can see them by looking through the windows. The castle is structured somewhat like a normal building (from what I can determine while being inside), but appropriately decorated with velvet carpets and wooden stairs. I move from the current room to another, apparently causing noise that alerts them and they are about to storm the place. My brain switches to chase mode and I flee up the stairs, reaching the last floor.

At this point my awareness /neurotransmitters begin to reach threshold levels. I cut through the mosquito net on the window and jump on the nearest tree. I contemplate that I can get down in any possible way because I have powers.

Yes, not only do I have powers, but it is a dream! Memories of past tree climbing scenarios and flying flash through my mind. I recall the speck of dust task and try to see if I will be able to hold still in the air. I create strong wind to support me from below, and once I feel it bodily, I move forwards from the tree top and onto the air where I stay a bit in upright position. The wind then carries me forward over a short distance. Finally, I decide to make a few cautious steps in the air, continuing forward until reaching an elevated section of land and trees. There is a peculiar sensation on the soles of my feet while air walking.

I take a moment to orient myself, thinking again how this is a dream and that I wanted to do the smell basic task. I realize that I'm standing near a pine tree, see those lovely green needles near my face, but take a moment to decide what I would like to smell. I opt for smelling the bark as for my dream logic, it should smell even stronger than the needle branches. As I come closer to the bark, I feel a fresh breeze on my face as well as many tiny moisture droplets in the air in between. And then I inhale - it's a distinct smell of pine tree. It's really nice and as I am about to have a second go - the wbtb alarm wakes me up.

I didn't write about last night because there was really nothing special that happened there, just the horrible recall I've had earlier. But tonight was definitely incredible. I recall 2 long dreams (both combined took two pages from my notebook .-.), finally actually did a WBTB, and a DILD (though it only lasted a couple of seconds), along with an FA. So I'll start from the beginning..

The Night Watchers

I was in this sort of university dorm. The location around me was this town with not much tall buildings, all were the same house roofs and you could jump from one to the other. I was sleeping at night when a guy came and woke me up. I can't recognize who he was IWL but in the dream I knew who he was, as he was an old friend. I remember him wanting me to do a task with him and me, being annoyed that he woke me up in the night, reluctantly accepted and left with him. I went through this walkway through a park and went up to one of the house roofs. We hopped from one to the other to get to a very large church-like building which clearly stands out from the rest of the buildings. I forget what we had to do there but the next night he woke me up again and we left. Leaving through the same walkway, I could recognize some people I know in real life. We reached these hills in the park and he was setting up some device I saw as a telescope. He told me that it could shoot lasers and we pointed somewhere. I looked over and saw this large white cube, about the size of a fountain. He said that we have to blow it up using the lasers, but it wouldn't be enough and we have to access this same scenery in a dream and use powers in there to make it explode. The scene changed into a bedroom and the guy was getting ready to use the lasers on the white cube. I was about to go in bed when I woke up.

I felt really awake when I did wake up. I was debating whether to do a FILD, with a fairly high chance of success but I may not remember my last dream, or to WBTB + MILD. I eventually picked the latter and wrote down my last dream quickly as I already felt wide awake and didn't want to stay awake longer to the point where I wouldn't fall back asleep. I urinated in the dark and went back to bed. I had a really runny nose and I felt too awake, as I feared. Luckily, I was able to fall back asleep.

Bus ride and family union

I was on the bus. I was heading home when I passed by my older brother IWL who was at a stop. I looked at which bus this is and saw that it wasn't the right one. I got off at the next stop and met up with my friend on this wall in this area that seemed to be a picnic table. The friend said he needed help picking up garbage that he dropped and I was helping him. By the wall, there was a girl and she said to me, "Il y a quelque chose derriere toi." (Translates to: There's something behind you.) I looked behind me but there was nothing there. She pointed somewhere else and I found the last piece of garbage the my friend dropped. The scene changed and I'm in a bathroom. I'm apparently with my family of four, me being the eldest child and two younger children, one boy and one girl, around the age of 6 playing in the sink like it was a pool. And there was my widowed mother in the shower. She opened the curtains and got out, asking me if I wanted to go in. I replied with yes and went in and started taking off my clothes. Strangely enough I never closed the curtains. My little brother IWL was outside a window watching me, and I didn't want him to see me naked but he eventually did, along with the rest of the family. For some reason the younger two children had aged to around 12 and the girl said "He's so cool." I closed the curtains and started taking a shower. The curtains opened by themselves and my mother, now finally clothed, with my two younger siblings were just standing there smiling at me, not in a creepy way. Yup, because when you have 3 people stare at you smiling while you're taking a shower is definitely not creepy. I was thinking that it was strange that I had people looking at me like that, so then I got excited by the thought that this could be a dream. I excitedly looked at my hands only to find that they were completely normal. They even had drips of water on them. But I wasn't convinced that it was reality. I tried another RC, which I'm pretty sure was the nose plug RC, but that failed as well. I then tried flying up, and that's what worked. I flew out the window of the bathroom and decided what to do next. The thing is, though, when I reached the window and was about to go through it, my vision completely blacked out. Then, I had twitching at the bottom of the darkness only to find myself awake in my room. Excited from my LD, I went down to write it. In the hallway, I saw this mirror which didn't reflect me but in fact gave me vision of a classmate who was in my washroom in front of the mirror. Like, I saw her reflection instead of mine. I didn't question it though and went down to find my sister watching a kids show (Not the one from the last dream, my sister IWL). I went back upstairs to my room and was trying to write "Performed MILD" for my dream journal but kept accidentally writing something else instead, which I can't remember. And that's when I woke up.

Anyway, I'm really happy with myself from this night. Even though I was going for MILD, I got a DILD, and I could recognize something odd in a dream and suspect my reality from that. I think I've just reached a large milestone! Better add a milestones custom block, and I'll add dream goals along with it.

I'm walking out of a large red tent in the woods. In the previous scene I'd been having some kind of argument with two guards who work for me, but we were interrupted by a man who's now following me out of the tent, someone who I have some kind of deal with. He'd mentioned my son. I want to continue the conversation more privately.

Deeper in the woods, there's no underbrush, and the ground's covered in old fallen leaves. I drop the illusion I'd been using. I've been borrowing the identity of the man those guards used to work for, some kind of ruler, dead now. Without that illusion, there's a sort of shadow over my skin, like a photo overlaid by an image of something else - I (correctly) remember that I've used that specific comparison before in another dream; though I don't remember the details until after I wake up, I'm aware the parallel's intentional.

I'm dismissing whatever the other man has just said, angry. I tell him, "I swore to make this journey a thousand times, but you - you didn't uphold your part, did you?"

Afternoon nap:

There was some dream about trying to decide on colleges. I was walking between them. It was nighttime and also very cold/snowing. Supposedly some of the colleges taught applicants magic and stuff.

I remember running into this fat guy who was trying to sell me soggy waffles out of a big pot.

Okay... you see this is why I'm not really that into dream food...

Bedtime:

Somebody wrote a play involving Me, Manei and Jack. The play was terrible, and all of the characters were mispotrayed. The actor that played Jack was played by this huge hulking brute of a man who would yell all of his lines. The actor that played Manei was this old fat lady wearing a swimsuit, and the actor that played me was a boy who was about 10 years old with a horrible bowl cut and a huge backpack.

The play (It was sort of like a movie actually) was like a typical family drama type thing. My character went to school and he got a bad grade and got bullied. Jack's character went to work where he worked in some kind of cubicle job where his boss would come and yell at him. I can't remember what Manei's character did. I then remember Jack's character yelling at mine for getting a bad grade at school.

Manei and I were actually in the audience and we were complaining about how much our characters sucked.

There was some scene involving going to an old gas station. (The actors drove around in an old red minivan) My character was whining because he wanted to buy a Gatorade. Jack-actor told him to grow a pair and deal with the fact that he was thirsty, while the Manei actor was in the background trying to go into the bathroom but she was too fat and couldn't fit through the door.


Then this character named the mask got added into the play, and she stole the show. She was this girl with long white hair, red eyes, a ninja mask, black hoodie and a beanie hat. She ended up kidnapping my character and taking him offstage in a canvas bag while Manei and Jacks' characters pretended to be distracted.

Stage hands began moving all of the props and stuff off the stage. The mask character walked back on stage carrying a microphone, boombox and a wooden stool and put the stool in the middle of the stage and sat on it. She then admitted that she was actually Dawn. (big surprise ) He took the fake boobs out of his shirt and started doing this stand-up comedy routine. Everyone was cheering him on.

-WBTB-

Something to do with being on the beach. There was a cat with me who kept getting wet by the waves. He/she seemed to actually enjoy it really. I became semi lucid, and since the cat seemed to enjoy getting wet I started waterbending more waves at him/her.

...

There was some other portion of the dream about being on the beach. I remember putting my hand in the water in one of the tide pools and feeling the water. It was really odd because the water was mostly very warm, but there were these little clear ice balls in the water (Hailstones?). I remember picking a few of them out with my hand and feeling them. I tried to melt them with the heat in my hand but they seemed to radiate cold, and I couldn't melt it with my body heat.

Supposedly they were eggs to some kind of fish or bird that lived in the ocean and they absorbed their energy through heat and therefore became very cold and had a layer of ice on the outside.

...

I was out in the mountains on what felt like the same tropical island. It was some kind of tourist destination where you could hike on these concrete stairs and platforms and observe the various plant life and ancient ruins present on the island.

I remember looking down and out at the beach. There were a couple of small popcorn storms out to sea.

I had climbed to the top of the mountain alone (It was a long hike and the air got thin.) The highest platform you could go to was between two spire-like mountains. I was there and I decided I wanted to go back down to ground level really fast. I turned around and ran and jumped down aiming to land on the bottom platform and skip all the stairs.

But the stairs were steep, and My jump carried me farther than I expected, right off the edge of the mountain. I'm not sure if it was the floaty gravity or the falling to my death that did it, but something made me become lucid. (It wasn't a very clear lucidity though, probably due to my lack of practice...)

I started flying straight down, going through a cloud layer to the bottom layer of the island, and then pulled up flying low over the level part of the island. On it were these huge pine-cone shaped temples covered in vines and growth. Some of them had collapsed. I pulled down and did a barrel roll, flying between two of them (one collapsed leaning into the side of one still standing.)

I had made it to the other side of the island. I was pretty close to the spot where I had seen the ice fish eggs in the water. I remember going up very high above the mountains. I saw the dream make a mistake with scale. There was another island out past the one I was hovering above. It was about the same size but only had one palm tree on it, that if accurately scaled to the island I had been on would have been several miles tall.

I decided to ignore it. I flew in low and slow in a river valley of the island. The river was separated into all of these pools that flowed down from one to another in little waterfalls. I then noticed that in the middle of the island there was a volcano. It was rather big, low and flat, with a wide magma pool on top, and occasionally it would explode into a cloud of ash and smoke and lots of little lava bombs would come out and start fires in the jungle.

I flew up above the volcano and decided to stop it from erupting. I thought of Avatar and how Airbenders can make a cold breath to freeze lava/fire. I tried this, but it did not work. I then tried moving my hands and willing the lava to freeze. It started working, from the edges of the crater inward to the middle the lava froze, leaving just a few cracks in the surface where the lava showed through.

Once that was done, I decided to fly somewhere else, but when I started to move, I shot backwards and down into one of the temples. I found myself deep underground in a dungeon/cave. There was a bar or tavern kind of set up down here. It reminded me of the Winking Skeever from Skyrim, but nobody was there.

I got a bad vibe and decided to teleport out. I willed myself to teleport back to the surface. I found myself underneath a tile floor. I broke up and lifted myself out of the floor (Teleportation Mistake I guess...)

I some how wound up back on top of the twin peaks mountain where the concrete platform was, but I was inside a beautiful oriental building where there had simply been a concrete platform. I don't know how I knew I was at that location, Just a feeling the dream gave me.

I went to the door of the building. I knew that when I opened it I would see the steep staircase that I had tried to jump down before. I then realized that the dream was probably going to end up taking me someplace else, someplace less pleasant that the island. I then told myself that I wouldn't care what I saw when I opened the door.

"I don't care what's on the other side of the door, I'll enjoy it."

I woke up

"...and you found the one exception..."

I recall going out of a car, and entering my house. I went to the living room, and took my wallet out of a pocket. I counted money. My wallet was full of coins, and when I finally finished counting them, I went outside and gave them to my sister.

Finally, a proper FM night again, could have dreamed more but noise at home stopped it

Mental journaling all night long. Spent a long time (30-60 minutes?) in morning reviewing earlier dreams before final BTS and last two dreams.

+(f) FA: woke in shock to my wife scratching lightly the back of my shoulder with the back of her fingernail and sort of giggling, very out of character for her must have been a FA

+ summary: black girl, 3 men in neighborhood (titan-like?)
I'm outdoors (climbing over roofs), thinking about girls with afros, wonder what it would be like to be with one. I see 3 fairly tall scary looking guys approaching, they're walking in a straight line, they have tall hairdos, (one?) is faintly smiling, I sense they are menacing, they're walking through people's gardens, this is in my childhood neighborhood. I think about following them, but I don't want to be seen, one of them does see me.

+ summary: airport, bag, pilots work 30 hours in a row, bathroom with drinks in cooler (search for and find root-beer, see a more classic can but it's red cream soda and I want root beer)
I'm in an airport on a trip, I'm thinking about how the pilots who fly the 15-hour flight have to turn around and fly right back, that means they must work 30 hours in a row, but they probably get to use the auto-pilot and catch a nap. I have my bag, then there's an airport employee walking around returning people's bags to them, but my bag is there, and I realize I must have left it somewhere, I go into the (bathroom?) looking for it.
In the bathroom there is a large cooler full of cans of sodas. I'm digging through this and find some A&W root beer, I take the can out and intend to take it with me. I keep looking then I see a really large can with of some high-end, natural soda and think it's a better root beer, but I look at the can more and see that it's a red cream soda, and I put it back since I want root beer. I open the root beer and drink it while walking around.

+ reunion with high school friends: (DD?), N., CB, BD, CB's brother AB, shake everyone's hand, really glad to see BD since I haven't seen him since the end of high school, realize that this is true of N. as well but I didn't tell him this maybe he feels bad about that. This takes place in a restaurant (or a wine bar? DD has a glass of wine?)

+ Playing checkersy-chess with MR. The pieces look like checkers but I think they're pawns. The colors are red and black. I'm looking at the several pawn captures that are available and evaluating which ones will lead to a better position for me. I make one and MR responds by making this move by flicking a large checker (red?) with the number "30" written in the middle down to one of my pieces. I say "Hey, don't move like that I can't see what the pieces were before and after". Nearby on a trail, the (orange?) (animal? deer?) on the path reaches the end, you can touch it to cause things (the dream?) to end

+(f) outdoors with cousins: GL is a photographer, taking slide shots of athletes, I wonder about color correction and she says that it's all done in photoshop anyway

+ vacuum: outside the (concert?) hall, white stone sculpted benches, powerful vertical vacuum with multiple hose ports on the side, I detach the main body from the base and takes several tries to reattach it, go to next room and work on cleaning assigned area, the attachment is not right for the floor (it's a couch attachment), it's too small, lots of cards and flyers get sucked into vacuum and I try to pick them out, I work on a spot on the carpet for a few seconds.

+ cousins: I say my son S1 is studying the same profession as PR, PR is there and I think about asking how is his job at S? I walk towards the entrance to the room and I suddenly see KD appear in in slinky black leather outfit, she's wearing a lot of make-up, she looks really hot, I'm a bit shocked when I see her suddenly. I turn back into the room and say I'm looking for some pie to give to KD, but I don't think there's any pie left, and I make a joke saying "I think there's only one type of pie in this room!" (referring to female *ahem*), and only KD gets the joke and chuckles. I find a plate of cheesecake with a few slices left on it, it's white with some cherry-red topping, and I give it to KD along with some small plates of (blueberries?). I notice that KD has changed her outfit to a normal one and removed her makeup all in a matter of seconds while I was getting the pie. KD's daughter comes to her sleepy from bed, I think I should go so they can interact, KD tells her daughter not to eat all her food.

+ with a group of people (on street outside childhood home?) I'm lying down across the front seat(s) of a car, head on the driver's side. An (Asian) indian woman comes in and climbs on top of me to lie down, my waist bag is in the way, and I reach up with my left hand and pull it to the side, then she fits perfectly lying right on top of me with her head on my chest. She starts purring, her whole body is warm and vibrating, it's quite cozy, I put my arms around her in a friendly way. Her man comes up and says "Heeeeyyy! What's going on!?" I lift up my arms into the air [DANGIT! Saw my hands! I've been trying to make that a PM trigger] to show I'm not groping her -- it's a comforting scenario, not an erotic one. But the man hangs around to watch and make sure. I don't want her to get off because the purring thing feel really amazing.

late morning drifting BTS:

+ guests coming for dinner, the table is prepared, sliced grapefruit, they arrive, can only stay a minute, I go to the door and say come and eat, the guests can't stay long they say "5 minutes max", I hear in the dining room that a guest sees a picture of a famous person and talks about how he's his favorite, back in the dining room is my language class, we're preparing a special ethnic birthday party for IM, IM comes in and we quickly close the box of special chocolates so that it won't spoil the surprise.

+ climbing up a hill made of blankets and sheets, I seek foot holds, a girl is with me, I tell her to be careful, there are slippery parts, we're on the very right edge of the hill. Another family (man an woman) is to our left climbing up a more difficult part, we reach the top and look down to the floor below, about 10-12 feet below us, I say "this is the area with a (gravity anomaly?) that we don't understand," I know this is an area of power, my wife is in the next room waiting to consult the couple on some mystical matter, they ask my wife to divine the problem with the man's tooth and I think that's a bad idea because my wife knows nothing about dentistry, [waking world noise wakes me]

I was in a hospital bed with a very big belly somehow then i realised that i was pregnant(i am a guy!)then a doctor came to me and touched my belly, i felt afraid because i realised that i was going to give birth to my child and also going to hurt a lot. Suddenly the doctor pushed my belly and a baby appeared in front of my legs(i dont know how)without any pain.The baby immediately started to repeat some of my words like a parrot.That was the first time that i thought that something was going wrong there and i asked my self how can a newborn child talk. After a few moments i woke up.

Had some sleeping and recall problems.

Morning of May 11, 2015. Monday.



I seem to be in a cold region in a mostly featureless building with little or no furniture. There are more children than adults and it illogically seems to be near either Antarctica or the Arctic region, though that is not certain. Most people seem seated and leaning against a grayish inner wall. The setting remains mostly semi-dark. There seems to be a concern for an unknown length of time about having warmer clothes or more food just to survive from day to day, though the setting does not really seem apocalyptic.

A man who reminds me of Nixon makes a brief (at first) appearance. However, the face is not very realistic, even being somewhat plastic-like, like a mask, and quite pale. It is not a mask though; it is just a “frozen grin” over a somewhat grotesque, almost sadistic visage. At one point, the man lifts his arms up as Nixon used to do but for no particular reason, it seems, though he seems to automatically do it when approached or addressed.

The “Nixon” man seems to be the main authority around the warehouse-like refuge. There is a small plant nursery but not nearly enough to feed the residents. At one point, a ship arrives, requiring certain males to go out and chop away at the ice until the ship gets through in a rather time-wasting zigzagging route. There are mostly only sheep aboard the ship (probably some sort of word play going on here).

The Nixon man goes close to some of the sheep and holds their “chin” to look into their eyes. He tells the captain of the ship to take them all back and I see a rather odd cartoon balloon fading in and out that shows sketchy sheep drawings - they are sitting in chairs and playing cards. “Send back the sheep,” says Nixon, “so that they may fulfill their dreams of white houses and picket fences” (“white house” likely a play on “White House” and “picket” related to picketing/protesting). I see a one-panel cartoon of a sheep mowing the lawn in “Far Side” style (possible reference to sheep shearing - not sure if it came from an actual cartoon image I once saw - I know there were a lot of “sheep as humans” gags).

I am aware that all of the adults and children will die, but there is a strange focus on whether or not it will be by starvation or lack of warm clothes. I also have a brief thought that they may be the last humans on Earth, even though, again, it somehow does not seem apocalyptic (at least not a major event).

Similar to another recent dream, I only see a head floating near my dream’s final segment. In this case, Nixon’s entire body and much of the head vanishes, leaving a Guy Fawkes mask that moves side to side in a corner of an empty room (in midair at head height) as if to say “no” (although I do not get the impression it is saying “no”; just a result of some sort of momentum with no intelligence of any kind being present). I am trying to “remember” if the whole Earth is frozen.



There is a sustained hypnopompic focus on the misuse of the word “carnivore” to describe non-vegetarians or to describe anyone that eats meat at all. (I do not eat much cooked red meat and do not care much for steak - did not eat hardly any steak prior to around age nineteen. Also, lamb meat makes me immediately ill due to its horrid greasiness and I cannot understand how people can eat it unless in a survival situation.) The ridiculous misuse of the word “carnivore” (in the uneducated colloquial sense; in the same light as calling a turtle a “gopher” or a skunk a “polecat” as they do mainly in the south in America) makes me realize how critical thinking skills are completely lacking in some people just to serve a fringe agenda and to continuously belittle or troll others. A vegetarian does not usually eat meat (and I have nothing against vegetarians), so a carnivore would technically not ever eat vegetables or in fact, anything but fresh uncooked meat. Reason does not dawn on such people, though, even in diverse situational examples related to survival scenarios and it is quite unfortunate. This is something that sometimes goes through my mind, this time influenced by a few things I recently saw on the media related to the supposed torture of all sheep by all shearers (notice I said “all”) when sheared, which was rightfully discredited and debunked by the news staff (though certainly not to imply that the media is always honest or that all shearers are competent).

Ironically, sheep are used as an argument for sentient beings and their (animal) rights while some of the same mentalities call people “sheep” in a very negative context; hypocrisy at its finest. I pointed this out back in 1991 to penfriends from California and it actually dawned on them that my commentary was correct and that the realization caused them to feel a bit strange and less “militant” and “anti-human” in their views.

It's been exactly 30 days since my first entry! But today's not any different. Didn't MILD and hardly any recall. In fact, I can hardly remember anything. Only around the location I was in but really nothing else. I need to do better tonight!

Large place

I was in this large hallway in a school. There was lots of people with me and we were going through. I also recall being in a classroom.

Hi. How's it going?

I woke up a few times, but remembered no dreams. It seems that I wake up too gradually, with whole minutes of half-awareness. By the time I realised what was going on, I already forgot all my dreams.

Interruptions (FLD/LD, ND), Back in Netherlands (ND) (—7:10)

I was in what I imagine to be a FA — I somehow knew I would enter a LD. The next thing I know is I'm in the ocean just off the beach, carrying what I assume to be my sister (it could be someone else — I'm not sure). Behind us was a goofy looking Voldermort with a sword and mediaeval clothing (of which I remember a white blouse-like shirt). The dream even paused so I could look at it a bit longer. Also, he flew and was flanked by vaguely defined henchman.

So I swam to the beach where I tried flying away — I could jump high, but I couldn't fly while carrying presumably my sister. Since there was a large, building-like obstacles in the way, we went around the right side. There was more beach there, with a small crowd of DC. For a moment I thought Voldermort would never actively harm me because of all the witnesses.

So then I headed back towards the buildings, from the east side. I jumped up and over buildings and then…

Then there was this tall wired fence, one which looked so imposing, it just had to be electrifying. Beyond the fence were endless dunes of sand. There was also someone who looked an awful lot like Steven Stone (Pokemon character). The dunes all a solid yellow and solid black (shadows), and I somehow got an impression they weren't actually dunes, but more like nonexistence.

At this point I was thinking of the ocean and beach prior and putting together some kind of theory that the island was the mere blob of existence in an endless ocean of nonexistence. Thinking back to how I was screwing about with Voldermort and such, I ascended to a higher state of lucidity. I turned around, imagined a doorway in the fence, turned back, and it was there. My vision was slightly blurry. However, I didn't want to go through — if it was all endless 'dunes', what would be the point? I then started thinking of goals I had on my mind whilst awake. I felt some sort of passion build up in me — I knew I was on a breakthrough with my clarity of mind. My goals came to me clearly, and I knew just what I ha—

I woke up. It was a FA. I lost lucidity, went back to sleep and hoped to get back to the dream.

Then there was this vague repeat of the last dream, except it had all sorts of Pokemon characters in there. It was now a video game all of the sudden without any lucidity.

…

I was by my parents' restaurant and it was raining. This was bad because I had hidden my phone beneath a flower pot (for... some reason?). I check on my phone but aside from a few drops of water it was fine. I readjusted the flower pot in such a manner my phone would remain hidden as well as remain dry. I then leave with my parents off to somewhere with the car.

On the way there, I asked where we were going. My father say something along the lines of... I don't remember, but it was boring. Not to mention I had second thoughts about housing my phone below a flower pot. I asked to be left out so I could walk the way back.

I come across a few of the landmarks we passed on the way there, such as a canal where the roads slanted up (and the canals would be subsequently deeper), as well as a whole bunch of stone stairways. The stairways had thick railings that doubled as decorative waterfalls. I could slide down these waterfalls and would go very fast, but I can't remember actually getting wet. also, I remember sliding down all the stairways, but I initially had to go up. At another point I couldn't pass through because there was a long wave of children riding out from a small grass field for sports and such. I noted that all their bicycles looked like some sort of plastic (but still sturdy) . I wondered whether this was some kind of new design thing.

Eventually I realised that I was in Amsterdam all along! How did I get there? I walked? Okay, so I wasn't wholly convinced I was in Amsterdam, so I checked for signs that I was — I saw this restaurant we once went to, as well as an alleyway with a signboard saying "King's Cross" (even though that's London/Harry Potter, even though the train station was the whole other way, even though supposed 'King's Cross' actually led to the car parking area). I decided to check out on my father's restaurant in the near vicinity. I came across something that was supposedly it, but it was buried behind curtains and such and it was hard to see. I found this rather odd.

I then came across my older sister who just so happened to bent there, which was also odd considering there was this row she had with father where due they still do not interact with each other. Therefore, I was a bit dubious over her positive demeanour.

The topic turned to that of coins and mystic religion statues and such. It's all a bit blurry (actually can't be bothered to continue typing).

I remember returning to the stone stairways again. Those were fun.

Sitting near the oven

I was in my kitchen. I was sitting on a bench placed near an oven. I had only underwear on me. I looked at the clock and it was nearing midnight. Then I looked inside the oven, and saw that there is a pizza, baking inside.

Praying near the grave

With my father we went to local graveyard. It was cloudy afternoon. We looked for a grave of person I can't recall. We searched the grave for a while, and we found it. Then another man joined us, we hold our hands and prayed.

Ritual: It was a great night for dreaming, probably because I went to bed so much earlier than usual, though I've also been especially attentive to my RCs for the last couple days. I went to bed a little before midnight, and I'm also currently on the East Coast, so the clock was three hours ahead of my usual time zone. My sleep was punctuated with the usual half-dozen wakings, though I didn't do any specific night practices other than try to pay attention to the transitions between sleeping and waking, and in this I was not persistant or prompt enough to pull off a WILD or a DEILD. But by around 6am I woke up from the first DILD, spent until 7:30am writing it down, then went back to bed and lucked into a second one.

NLD, "Drones": I'm standing by a floor-to-ceiling, wall-length window in a big hotel suite, looking out over the curve of a bay. From the height we must be somewhere between the 20th and 30th floor, and to the right I can see another tall building, or perhaps an extension of the same hotel, following the curve of the beach. Ahead and to the left is the flat horizon of the sea. It would be a pleasant view if it weren't for all the drones hovering in our field of vision, each one carrying a sign with a single word on it, white block letters on a black background. The words seem to be completely random.

"It's like some dystopian future," I comment to Peter Dinklage, who is standing to my left. I muse about what it would be like if the drones were weaponized, and turned on us like machines tend to do in science fiction. Though a chilling thought, they are awkwardly constructed without any armoring, and look like they would be easy to shoot down.

Then I notice that although they are not armed with guns, each drone is fitted with a camera, which is just as bad in some ways. Are they conducting mass surveillance on us? The cameras are all pointed directly at us. As I watch, a see a few drones of a different type fly in very close. They are not carrying signs, and they are disk-shaped, topped with a transparent dome through which we can see tiny people inside operating them. The pilots can't be human: even though I am standing next to a dwarf, they are much smaller than him, the size of babies, but with adult features and pointed ears. One of them waves at us, and Peter Dinklage says something like, "This is really disturbing."

FA-DILD, "Smallpox": Shortly after this I have the sense of waking up, though it is not a typical FA; I do not find myself in bed. I feel like I am standing in the same spot, in the same room, only awake now. Everyone else who was in the room a moment ago is gone, and there is no longer any impression of a view. The light has changed, becoming greyer and dimmer: it felt like late afternoon a moment ago, now it feels like early morning.

At once I notice that something is wrong with my body: a dense network of small patchy blisters is completely covering my skin. I look at myself in third person, as though in a mirror, and see them everywhere: covering my face, my chest, my arms, every patch of visible skin is mottled with these raised lesions. I know exactly what they are, too, I've seen them before in historical pictures: these are smallpox pustules, apparently in an early stage, since they are slightly lighter than my natural skin color and haven't scabbed or opened yet.

Immediately my rational mind rejects the scenario: didn't I get vaccinated for this? I realize I don't specifically remember getting a smallpox vaccine, but... isn't that because smallpox is extinct? I can't recall the details but I'm sure I remembered hearing that. Surely it's not making a comeback, like measles, because of all these anti-vaccers? But that can't be right—if smallpox were coming back then vaccinations for it would have become available, and I'd have been first in line.

This can't be happening. I try to will away the pustules but nothing changes. I remain unconvinced. This can't be happening, it must be a dream. If I can levitate, I will know it is a dream: I put my mind to it and though I do not levitate properly, I can feel that gravity is definitely different from waking life. So it is a dream! Okay, that's what I thought. Thank goodness I don't really have smallpox. Now I just need to fix my appearance.

I go into the bathroom and look in the mirror, trying to will my skin smooth again. The pustules are stubbornly persistant, but a lock of hair turns white and I decide to transform the rest of it for fun. It instantly turns stark white, but the texture remains smooth and silky. This gives me the idea to turn my skin jet black, like that of a drow elf. I concentrate and most of it transforms, but there are still pale patches on my forehead and upper cheeks, and when I look down at my legs, they are a streaky grey that is fading out toward the ankles, more like body paint than skin pigment.

On the bright side, changing the color of my skin finally got rid of the pustules, leaving it smooth again. Now I just want to even out the color, but the pale patches resist my initial attempts to darken them through will alone. I try to use my hands, as though spreading pigment over the resistant areas, and this helps a bit, but it is not an easy fix. As I peer closer into the mirror during this process, I notice that my eyes are solid black. I can't remember if this was the correct color for drow eyes, but I really like the effect. By the time I complete the skin transformation, my hair has faded from snow white to a yellower bone white, and this looks better and more natural with the jet black eyes and skin.

During this process my hair has been going through stylistic variations, always long and straight, but hanging down in different ways, and smeared with substances like blood or oil. I figure this makes sense for drow fashion, since living underground they probably don't bathe all that often, making hair treatments like oil very practical, whereas the bloody streaks look impressively gruesome. Although my skin won't stay pure black, it doesn't fully revert to its natural shade either, but retains traces of color, like streaky orange-browns on a muted blue base, while the hair stays yellowish-white.

WBTB: I woke up and spent over an hour writing the report of the last dream, but afterwards it was still early enough to go back to bed. Although I was not sleepy, it was a pleasantly lazy morning, and I enjoyed drifting in hypnagogic imagery. There was a period of ambiguity where it became increasingly difficulty to tell if I was having waking or dreaming experiences, and then I slipped again into full dream.

DILD, "Bed Monsters": I was wandering through the large house belonging to my in-laws where I am currently staying, and I had lost count of the number of bedrooms... there had to be more than twenty. Just how big was this place? At that moment I realized, no, of course it is not so big in waking life, it is because I am dreaming that the size has been exaggerated. Dreaming, eh? Wasn't there something I had meant to do, if I found myself dreaming in a bedroom? Suddenly I recalled this month's TOTM, to make friends with the monster under your bed. Oh! I should get back to the room where I'd been sleeping! I dashed back so quickly I was afraid I would destabilize the dream, but luckily it stayed intact.

I peered under the bed but it was a pleasant open space. It looked like there were a few banal things stored under there, but nothing looked sinister or monstrous. I felt around for something to work with, and my hand closed around a small plush object, which I withdrew and examined closely. It was a small brown teddy bear, only five inches long, with a plump, pear-shaped body and tiny beady eyes. There was a lighter brown oval around the bit of stiching that served as a nose. I was impressed with the detail with which I could perceive it, but had no idea how was I supposed to "make friends" with it. It seemed totally inert, a harmless stuffed animal. I set it on the thick folds of the comforter piled on the bed. "Dance!" I commanded. It just sat there. "Dance!" I tried a few more times, but it remained inaminate.

I walked around to the other side of the bed, setting down the teddy bear on a dresser. I turned away for a moment, and when I looked again it had changed: now it was a sort of bell-shaped plastic structure hanging from the ceiling by a string. I couldn't tell what its purpose was, but it still appeared to be an inert object.

It occurred to me that I had been walking around and standing right next to the bed completely heedless of the space underneath. If there really were monsters under there, I'd have to watch out for my ankles! I wondered if this was the problem, that I didn't really have any lingering childhood fear of monsters under the bed. Perhaps I should try again with more intent.

I bent down and looked under the bed from this side, trying to keep the idea of monsters in mind. I still didn't see much under there: it was a light and airy space, just like in waking life, completely different from the overstuffed space under my bed at home. But I did see a scrap of cloth within arm's reach, so pulled it out. It turned out to be a little crocheted cat, only about three inches long, white with some orange spots. I guessed it must have been made by a total amateur. The body seemed floppy like it was unstuffed, and as I turned it over in my hands, I discovered that it was actually crocheted in a single flat piece with the four little legs sticking out horizontally, so only when it was folded in half along the back did it look plausibly like a cat. The head was the only piece that appeared to have been crocheted with any semblance of three-dimensionality. As I studied it closely, I saw tiny points of bright green contrasting with the dominant the white and orange: there was a little green tuft on the trip of the tail, and projecting from the head was a narrow appendange like the antenna of a cartoon alien, also topped with a green point.

However, this object also showed no sign of motion or life, so it would be hard to say I was "making friends" with it. But then my eye caught a glimpse of orange fur near my feet: my cat had appeared! I wasn't surprised that she had turned up: when thinking about the task in waking life, I had reasoned that she really was the monster under my bed. Though I adopted her when she was about five months old (the best guess of the shelter) she had been living in a feral state before that, and even after five years of comfortable indoor living she still has the edgy instincts of a street cat: she hisses at the slightest provocation, and holes up under the bed for hours whenever a stranger is in the house.

I knelt down to ruffle her long, soft fur, which felt totally life-like, but I noticed the color was off. In the dream she was calico, with big orange patches, but I remembered that she was a tabby in waking life. I wondered if she could qualify as my dream bed monster—though right now she was acting very pleasant and relaxed, and I figured it probably wouldn't count because I had already made friends with her in WL.

Yet again I peeked under the bed, and this time at last I found the perfect candidate for my experiment. I felt that it was connected somehow with the tame cat at my feet, as though all her feral qualities had separated into a different animal. This one had a tortoise-shell coat, all the same colors as a calico but in smaller, more mingled patches. Although the fur resembled that of a cat, the body suggested another animal entirely, with a narrower head and tapering snout. I was pretty sure it was a fox. Best of all, it was already hissing and snarling at me! This was the monster I had been looking for!

Now all I had to do was make friends with it. I began calling to it in the cooing, overly affectionate voice I might use with my cat. "Come here... lovely sweetie... lovely sweetie. I have treats for you my love... treats for you my love." The animal reacted as any feral creature would, holding its ground and continuing to hiss and snarl. I could see the tension locked into its body, poised for fight or flight. I reasoned that since it was a dream monster, the best approach would be to hug it, but that wasn't obviously wasn't going to be possible while it was still under the bed. I needed to draw it out first.

I reached under the bed and the animal snapped at the air and threatened to bite me. I considered drawing my hand back for a different approach but decided to let it go ahead and bite, inspired by that wonderful scene in Miyazaki's Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind where Nausicaa tames the fox-squirrel by remaining calm and patient when it bites her finger. Plus, since it was a dream I didn't have to worry about physical harm. So I kept reaching toward the animal until it bit down on the middle of my left index finger. The pain was surprisingly clear and sharp, but easily manageable. I kept thinking of that scene from Nausicaa and projecting similar expectations on this situation. I felt the animal relax enough to take a few steps closer to me, but it had not yet emerged from under the bed when the dream abruptly faded. Intriguingly, even after I had fully transitioned to wakefulness, I could still feel a distinct itch in the second joint of my left index finger where the animal had bitten me.

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