non-lucid

I'm in my old house on Almond. But it isn't my house anymore. Ashley and her family live in it now. I stay the night and when we wake up the next morning she tells me that we have to discuss our friendship and the club that we are in. I say ok and she leaves the room. We slept in my old room that I shared with my sister. I know that Ashley is waiting for me, but I take my time slowly getting ready. I notice my old dresser and I decide to look in it. In the bottom drawer is an old black dress that was my Mom's. I immediately grab it and hide it in my duffel bag. I decide to look around the room more in case there is anything else that I want back. I notice that my sister's broken dresser is here too so I quietly start opening drawers and looking for my sister's things. Her things are the most important things.

Went to sleep around 10pm. WBTB at 0300.

Driving a van at night with J.G. He is sleeping and I am very tired. I pull over into a ditch and make him switch with me. He is pissed. The music auxiliary cord gets disconnected and I have to redo it.

3rd person: teenage girl is with her older boyfriend feeling in love and vulnerable. They are in a dimly lit, empty warehouse. To distract herself from her fears she begs him to have sex with her. "I've been practicing! The last guy I was with T-boned me and I've been doing yoga!" I assume T-boning refers to a perpendicular type of angle. They have sex and their genital anatomy is a little strange. She starts bleeding because of the hard angle.

I am at a baby shower of an overweight woman who has already given birth. It takes place in a small garden room. She is laying on a couch with her baby. A young man by a plastic picnic table is rubbing his girlfriend's chest in between her small breasts as some kind of PDA. She is really pretty and her body type reminds me of E.J.T.

At my gma's with E.J.T and my sister. Sister and gma are arguing about religion. I have a mini notebook of E's that has a commandment written on the back. I say, "Yeah but the bible says a lot of stuff that's..." she nods in agreement. Gma is very curt with sister and they continue to argue. I yell, "Just get a long already. Jesus Christ!" I start cracking up and everyone but gma starts laughing about the irony of using god's name in vain while promoting religious tolerance. I feel a little bad for offending my gma.

I am admitted to SMMH psych ward along with another older man. A male worker is giving us a simple orientation. I laugh at something he says about the room numbers being common sense. Then he comes up to me and says, "I mean, look at her. She hasn't even been here for a couple of hours and she's already flirting with everyone. She's just like the rest of them." An expression of astonishment and disbelief comes across my face. Did he assume my giggling was flirting? I realize that he's just taunting me, trying to get a rise out of me and thus non-responsiveness is the best response. I put on my poker face and contemplate about how I'm going to put all of this in my dream journal when I wake up. I go to the common area where we will do a group activity. There's a young man there doing art in his notebook. He wants to show me. It looks like a talented drawing of the earth but he's doing it by drawing random "Potagee Pizzas" (AKA - random, colored-in blobs). I say, "Portuguese pizza?" "Why do you say it like that?" He asks. "Because I'm haole." I respond. He points to himself, letting me know that he's white as well. "I wasn't raised speaking pidgin so it's weird of me to try and speak it now. It's just weird." I say. A local girl in front of me looks at me and nods her head in agreement. I ask for a pen because I want to get started on my dream journal right away so I don't forget anything. I accidentally grab a red one. I get up to the bathroom and the male worker says, "Did I hear a bathroom door?" He comes up to me and leads me to a more isolated bathroom. He enters with me, clearly with the intention of having sex with me. I continue to stare at him emotionless. He gets flustered and says, "Maybe she isn't like all the others. You know what, I forgot my badge in here somewhere." He then stands in the corner and talks to himself about what to do next. I sneak out and make hand gestures to the older, new admission to come with me. I see my husband in the nurses station and gesture to him, too, but he's confused. I yell for him but it's difficult to yell and I feel short of breath. Eventually he comes. My plan is to go back into the bathroom alone and play along with the worker until my posse comes in and catches him in the act.
Later I get transferred to a facility where the sexes are separated. I pass the male side and there are two big, scary looking local guys making sexual gestures at me. One of them is doing so with a shake-weight. I enter the woman's area and there is only one young woman there. She's sitting in the dark at a table smoking a cigarette. "Who the fuck are you?" She asks. "I'm a worker, student, intern or something. Actually, I think I'm a resident but I get special priveliges because my husband works here." I respond. "That's why you get the new room. Isn't it smaller, though?" She asks. "I'm not actually sure." I answer. Her room was large and the bed was so big that the foot of it actually wrapped around a wall corner. I went into my room and it was smaller. I only had a twin sized bed and an unmade sleeper sofa.

I was inside a dorm. The color theme is yellow and black. I think it's supposed to represent the previous place I was staying in in Sampaloc. I was with L. We were eating. I saw him crush a cockroach, throw it into a pan to fry it, then throw away either the shell or innards and eat the one that wasn't thrown away. I thought that was a little strange, and then I realized I was also eating cockroach. Then I thought, "There's no way I'm eating a cockroach. I must have been mistaken," all the while trying to hold back puking in the dream (not sure in real life, but I woke up a bit sick to my stomach).

I was looking for homes/places to stay in. Or rather, there was a review of hidden/invisible homes. I was told that the one (tower) I was staying in high up in a cliff is among the top 5 because it's hard to reach. The next ones were simply impossible. One was hidden in some sort of mist, another is a flying pink house that moves from place to place all the time, and another was something that was never found. There seems to be no top 1 yet.

I was in a dorm. Not sure if the same or different from the one earlier. I was outside this time. I was looking at the facade of the thing. Somehow, I felt like my aunts on my dad's side are inside. I walked just outside the window. I saw a frying pan. I walked up a short set of stairs. The mood was night but with bright moonlight.

I was at work in an office. I think I was new, and I was sitting in front of a computer. There was a lady who talked to me about work. I think they were saying I seem so serious about work, even seems like I'm going overtime. I thought to myself that I just enjoy it.

Night. It was already after work. I'm still in the office. I walked around. I moved a sloth to a wall.

---

Notes:

- Slept at around 6 p.m., woke up around 8 p.m. Set alarm 01:46 HH:MM.
- I decided to incubate a dream, thinking about my plan of moving.
- Drank coffee with lotsa milk less than an hour prior sleeping
- Was listening to Dreamgate.

The content of this LD isn't particularly interesting. I'm just very excited about the fact that this is the fourth night in a row that I have tasted lucidity.

I was actually telling myself that I didn't want to LD last night to avoid burning myself out.

I was back in middle school. I remember being a different person entirely in this dream, I was from another country or something. I was always made fun of for being the new kid from out of town and I couldn't speak English very well.

I remember that because of some religious reason I had to eat these weird beans that had caused me to poop my pants during class. Though the first part of the dream that I recall was actually being in a bathroom stall. There was no toilet though, and I was still simply pooping into my pants that had taken on a bucket shape.

The bathroom stall door opened and the entire school was outside, including the teachers and the girls who all started laughing at me at once. This had something to with the being-a-character-in-a-story dream sign.

...

The next thing I knew I was lucid and flying. I remember teasing the school principal by flying up behind him. I was teasing him and he yelled at me saying that flying wasn't allowed at school.

I flew out of the second story window and over a large park/town area. I did a nose pinch RC just to cement my lucidity. (I love how I always do the nose pinch after I'm already lucid.)

I remember I was making this fwssssh sound with my mouth, doing my own sound effect for the flying. I figured I should stop because I might be making that sound in my sleep and waking up my parents IWL. But making that sound was the only way for me to continue flying.

Eventually I started descending, when a dream character jumped into the air, grabbed me by the leg and whacked me onto the ground. It didn't hurt at all but I was still surprised.

He tried to stomp on me, I rolled away. I started to get up and he tried to stomp again.

"This guy is good!"

I managed to get up and start fighting the dream character for a few seconds before waking up.

Morning of May 1, 2015. Friday.



Much of this dream was a bit too abstract to describe the first part of correctly. All the members of my family and I are making things to sell. We seem to be at a picnic table outside in our backyard. The most vivid part does not make any sense. I have made a salad with a lot of leafy green vegetables in it as well as other ingredients such as slices of tomatoes. I pick up a short section of a large even branch from the ground which has seemingly been sawed on both ends. It is a little less than the diameter of my arm. (We do have a short log in our yard in reality but it is bigger than the piece in my dream.) I put the salad on the branch (though I think of it as a small log in my dream) and hold it onto the branch piece with the curved piece of wood (which fits halfway around the circumference of the branch) over all of it. I notice that the wood piece has three screws on it which are aligned to three holes in the branch (one near each side and one in the middle). By tightening the screws, the salad will be kept in place on the surface of the branch by the curved piece of wood until it is ready to be eaten. I notice a small jumping spider crawling up the side of the branch and shake it off - as people will probably not buy it if it has a spider on the salad. (I have found that the term “salad log” exists, so maybe there is a vague association, though I do not recall thinking of this term at any previous time.)

In another section of possibly a different dream sequence, I am doing something involving the usage of postage stamps while sitting on a bed, which seem to have to be American postage stamps to do what I need to do, but there is one point where I cannot find them again (which does not make much sense as I had just seen them previously, having had at least a couple near me). I seem to be in my sister’s house on Loomis Street and am possibly a teenager again. I am not exactly sure of what I am doing. It may relate to drawing or tracing. At one point, I am standing in a featureless semi-dark room and hug my sister and tell her that I love her even though I am also aware to some extent that she has died in reality. She seems very old and frail. There is some sort of concern about where certain stamps are. I pick various foreign ones off the floor at one point. They seem to be kept in a few different smaller cylindrical containers. My sister talks about them but is not sure of their location.

In another part of my dream sequence, I am in a large room with several other people. Many of the people are unknown and of different races. We are all watching “Lost” on a television. However, it is a later version of “Lost”, yet which is a drama concerning earlier situations on the island. Over time, I notice that John Locke is not being played by Terry O'Quinn but a much younger actor. I notice that he has face paint of black and red (and yellow at one point), the black paint being mostly on his forehead and coming down to just below his eyes. He is amusingly dressed and speaking like a stereotypical pirate for some reason and says “Rrrrrr…” at the end of at least one comment he makes. I am a bit annoyed by this version of “Lost” having the same characters but played by different actors, my annoyance growing over time, which I express to the others. I even look it up on the Internet in-dream to see who the actor is that now plays John Locke. However, I cannot remember the original actor’s name and become a bit frustrated over knowing when the different actor took over the role. I see that there is a (fictional) eighth season of “Lost” and possibly more beyond that. In fact, the eighth season seems to have been the last one to star Terry O'Quinn, the plot of the last episode of season eight seeming to relate to Kate and John becoming lost.

Finally, I am at my older brother (deceased) Earl’s house. I do not see him, but his wife Cindy is there. There are a lot of other people in the room including their children and unknown younger people. I am annoyed because Cindy is blocking my way to the front door (even though we are more near the center of the living room near a large table) but I do not show my frustration. I had taken a couple vitamins that are more like headache tablets and there is white powder on the table which I am trying to put back into a capsule or at least elsewhere. (I have never been able to willingly swallow pills of any kind in my life, even very small ones, so I crush headache tablets up into white powder and put them in a drink when I need to take them although I more often use a form of special meditation to erase one when I can.)

In one final dream event, an unknown male knocks on the door and seems to have something important to tell me. However, it soon turns out to be nonsense (which I cannot remember) and he becomes distracted, going elsewhere. This was slightly precognitive in that we actually did have a rare visitor shortly after but he left fairly quickly after knocking. He went to the next house over and was probably selling pay television subscriptions or possibly Internet-related services.

1 May 2015

I find myself working at an above the ground mine. It seemed that many of the teachers/workers where on leave or sick.
Everyone was capitalizing on the long weekend and this left a group of us confused on who was in charge as superiors where minimal. Linds ran around sorting out things at a frantic pace, but not knowing much when I asked her what to do.
Reza and Mikey Roman with 80's dreads climbed the dangersous ladder that where laden with rock debris to be removed and proccessed. After climbing up to help i realised I had no saftey harness or hard hat..a recipe for disaster considering the nature of work. I climbed down the ladder and skateboarded toward a cave, trying a few kick flips on the way.

Inside was a man busy cutting smokey quarts crystals with a hand device. He tells me he's unable to help me find the safety equipment after genuinely trying. Suddenly there was panic in the air as a gushing river flowed into the cave threatening to drown us.

All turned to black.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brandon, my cousin, showed me a new haircut I could wear which didn't look half bad. Michael Roman and his girlfriend modified his dreadlocks 80's style, and I could apparently do the same.

My girlfriend and I went to the outer to rondavel bugalows and found a strange ladyboy in the room, looking at us with a prehensile appendage, sexually.

With group of classmates we drove for a week lasting school trip. The first day we were visiting a theme park. There were many attractions, like rollercoasters, gambling stands or punch strike meter. There was also a national park, with tree stands considered to be of ancient origin.

After the whole day, we went to a hotel and left our stuff in rooms. I had room with two other dudes, one was blond and medium built, and the second had dark hair and weight of a sumo fighter. I went to the bathroom, to take a shower. There were no cabins, only showers standing close. Due to this everyone took shower wearing t-shirts and underwear.

There were two bathrooms for the floor. I went to another, and saw that there are no cabins too. One of the guys that was going to take a shower told a joke. I can't recall the joke, but it made me laugh. I went back to my room, and checked my things. Then I thought "Have somebody took my phone?"

I could only remember images in dreams and can't really remember it chronologically. I wrote everything I could the best, but it didn't exactly happen in this order.

Runner

I was going to practice running for track and field. I was taken to this ice rink area and the coach told me to run around here. I was with someone else I couldn't recognize. This person was running great on the ice while I was OK but going slow, so the coach was nagging at me. The scene changed and I'm in this house basement. There's a group of people here and they're encouraging me to go run around the school. Apparently this was the basement of the school. I was competing with some other people. I ran out an exit door and a kindergarten line suddenly appeared out of nowhere. I couldn't really run so I waited until I could go again. Now I was running on grass. Another line appeared again so I waited it out and got through. I went around to another corner of the school and stopped. There was a couple of people I know in waking life there, along with some of my family. To the right lead to an open field with a fence in front, and to the left showed the street and a bicycle rack. A friend of mine who I haven't seen in about a year now came up behind me and was asking me to do something.

There was another time where I was running around the school hallways and I seemed to be in the past because one of the people I was competing with the first time, who was here again this time, looked around a corner and found himself running the same way he was the first time. The "him" from the past just barely missed eye contact with him.

Earlier: I heard about a plan for a new kind of TOTM on DV. Someone had come up with a single extremely complex and elaborate task that was broken down into about a dozen different steps, and the number of steps one was able to complete determined whether one got credit for Basic, Basic + Advanced, or Basic + Advanced + Bonus tasks. Someone who managed to complete the entire series would get credit as though it were a TOTY.

Later: I was at some kind of large event like a conference, and passed by a counter with a placard advertising a program or game called "BRAinixity." A list identified the first three letters as standing for the following descriptors:
• Big
• Regular
• Alteration

I gathered that "BRAinixity" was a kind of lucid dreaming program, and that these three terms described the magnitude of effects that practitioners might have on their dreams, depending on their level of accomplishment. I inwardly scoffed a bit at the idea that it somehow took a higher degree of effort or mastery to accomplish a "big" effect on a dream object as opposed to a minor "alternation," since I had time and again observed the lack of any such meaningful distinctions in the dream state, but I was nevertheless interested in seeing what the program was all about, so I decided to sign up.

A woman with short light brown hair was currently signing up for the BRAinixity program, and I was standing next to her waiting my turn. Since we were going to be on the same team, we exchanged introductions. She had a strong accent that made me think she was from Germany, and said her name was "Lalla." She explained that it had originally been longer, but that she had shortened it when invaders had attacked the valley where she lived. I understood her implications: under the circumstances, a long name would have added brief but unnecessary delays to social interactions. "Yeah," I joked drily, "You don't want to be standing there waiting for someone to finish pronouncing your name when you should be running away."

She finished signing up and the woman behind the counter began to take my information. I saw that I was on the "Cloud Valley" team—all the teams were organized by fictional valleys of various names, each of which accommodated about eight team members, judging from the number of lines on the registration card. Each team member was assigned to "Towers" of a particular color. Only the top line on my team's card was still blank, and since I was the last person signing up, I didn't have any choice as to what color my towers would be. I looked closer to see what color towers I'd be getting and saw "Green" next to my name, which pleased me, since green was what I would have chosen anyway.

"Green towers in Cloud Valley," I said aloud, liking how poetic it sounded.

+I am with "my family" that isn't my IRL family. I have parents, a little sister, and an older brother (one of the men is Bryan Cranston). We are eating dinner in a dimly lit room around a rectangular table. My brother and dad are across from me, my mom is next to me, and my sister is talking to us from a window opening to the kitchen. She shows us a piece of dark meat on a plate drenched in seeds. She says, "It's time for another ritual." My brother is jaundiced and his skin took on a dark orange hue, so we are referring to him as "The Bear". He became intubated and we assist him with some sort of ritualistic bathing process. Afterwards, when we get back to the table, he is very angry. My mother is frantically trying to change his behavior by doing a series of spells. She blesses the Mexican food on the table and we feed it to him. I am feeding him guacamole and potatoes.
+I am in a nail salon run by white, middle aged men. They brag about their environmentalism. Supposedly they have schutes to properly dispose of old nail polish and other chemicals. Their preferred payment method is in sex.
+I am getting ready for a class but I can't remember what time it starts. My classmates are there and my instructor M. was there. A classmate is complaining that my ziploc bags are difficult to close, unlike hers. I pack chicken for lunch and can't decide what shirt to wear.
+My sister gives birth, though she is standing and dressed. They hand the baby to her and she sobs, clutching it close. My mom yells at me to take the baby from her and do something. I grab the baby and am not sure what to do. I start cleaning the vernix off of it with its blankets but I run out of blankets. The baby is cold, naked, and crying. My mom tells me to swaddle it so I start to. My sister is now laying down properly and Dr. W says that the placenta won't come out and my sister is hemorrhaging. I open a 500 mL bag of Pitocin for her, handed to me by someone. I start cleaning up her work area for her.
+I'm shopping at the mall with a foreign lady. I keep seeing a Wet'n'Wild eyeshadow palette with a complete spectrum of colors for $50-60. Aunt L. asks if it's worth it and I tell her that it is. I want to shop but the foreign lady only wants to ride the escalators because she's never seen one before. I want to go up to the next floor and there is an escalator in sight but she heads towards the escalators on the other end of the building that are far away and out of sight. This happens twice. The escalators are unusually wide and very fast. As I'm going down one I experience a moment of bliss as I am able to appreciate the escalator from her point of view - new, exciting, mysterious, thrilling.

That midday nap yesterday kinda threw me off. I got some lucidity in though.

I was playing Minecraft digging a long tunnel deep underground, I think it was 3x3. I usually dig 3x3 access tunnels to my mines to this was not out of the ordinary. I wasn't placing any torches, but there were some places where I had mined into lava lakes and that produced some light.

I ended up mining into a large cave. I remember taking out two pickaxes and using them to climb the wall of the cave to get up onto another level. I started mining some of the ores when Sokka (from Avatar) shows up and starts yelling at me and giving me this really freaked out expression because I'm not mining properly.

He vanished or fell into some lava.

...

I appeared outdoors. I had no sense of where I was at first. Somebody (not me) said.

"We're on the night side of the planet. The sun will be coming up in a few minutes."

I looked up in the sky. There was this huge yellow-brown Venus planet and this smaller earth planet in the sky.

...

I arrive in some kind of basement or hideout. I feel like I'm still on the dark side of whatever planet I was on before, but now I'm underground. I'm also lucid for one reason or another. I remember the room being dark and having one table and two chairs. The only light is a single bulb hanging from a chain.

Manei is there, wearing what was by far her weirdest outfit yet. It looked like armor made out of a shiny silver metal with a scaled metal skirt.

"Okay... that looks seriously uncomfortable..." I remember thinking to myself.

I remember thinking of my old dream goal that I wanted to give her a headband, and that I wanted to follow up on that or hadn't done it or something. (Facepalms all around, I did that over 6 months ago...)

So for whatever reason, I decided that this time I was gonna make her a necklace. I found a copper chain, but that alone isn't really a necklace. I put it in my hand and closed my fist and tried to picture it becoming something more fashionable. What came out... uh... art skills, go!



"Ugh. I didn't meant to put my emblem on this time. If I wasn't so egotistical this wouldn't keep happening."

She took it and seemed really happy. But then when she put it on it somehow converted into a heavy metal collar and she started freaking out. I looked away from her and looked back and it was normal. (Gosh darn it I try do something nice and this ends up happening.)

"Sorry. I don't know what that was about."

...

There was some other part of this dream where I was flying. I was still on the dark barren planet, but there was one small square of green grass.

-WBTB-

I was leaving my Taekwondo studio along with my cousins. It was night time and I saw a female Darth Vader standing on top of one of the street lights. Yes, that's right. A perfect Vader, but with a female body.

She threw a smoke bomb and yellow smoke went everywhere. It smelled really bad as well. My aunt told everyone to walk in a line until we got out of the smoke. Everyone in the family got into a line except me. There were a couple random people that I didn't recognize at the end of the line.

I saw a light-saber blade appear out of the smoke and heard people getting cut and dying. Darth Vader was killing everyone in the line starting in the back. I told everyone to run.

Everyone ran away and the smoke cloud cleared away. I told them to run and I would fight. I was already semi-lucid. I saw a bunch of light-sabers in a pot in the landscaping of the parking lot. (Convenient...) I called one to me using the force. It was a double ended blue lightsaber. I turned it on.

We started fighting with lightsabers. After only a couple of strikes to one another, our lightsabers became toys with plastic blades. We threw them aside and started fighting in hand to hand combat.

I remember running at Vader and flipping her. She hit a wall. We exchanged a couple of punches and kicks; I dodged most of them. I tried flipping her again. This time she fell on the pavement. She staggered up. I kicked her back into the wall and then kicked her again in the face, causing her mask to crack. I didn't get to see who it was though.

...

It was daytime now. I was riding in the minivan with my cousins. They wanted to watch an avatar episode on the little TV that drops down from the top of the Minivan.

The episode was called 'Fat Zuko' and it was about what you would expect. Zuko becomes the fire lord and he becomes lazy and fat because he doesn't have to fight any more. Then he gets attacked by Aang and tries to run away but gets stuck in a narrow doorway and captured by the Avatar.

-WBTB-

I remember getting a tour of this multi level concrete building that looked sort of like a parking garage. except there were crops and flowers on all the levels. I was told it was eight stories tall, but I think it was only about five. I remember there was this pulley with all of these giant buckets on it. They reminded me of the buckets you see when you go to splash parks and they slowly fill then every once in awhile they pour.

The buckets would get pulled up linked to a mechanical system powered by wind turbines. When they got to the top and poured out the water would trickle down and water all of the plants in the structure.

Somebody was telling me how it was a new and environmental way of farming that used less space and energy. They said that it even worked for growing trees. They showed me this greenhouse section where they were growing oak trees inside. They said that they had to wait until the tree had a house-mass of wood. This meant that when you cut down the tree you would have enough wood to build a standard sized house.

The DC who had created it. (Marcus... this sounds like something Marcus would come up with...) showed me that all of the plants and trees were genetically engineered and grew withing weeks rather than months. The trees were also engineered to grow in about a month.

I remember also changed the genes of the trees so that the wood was bright orange colored so that loggers and mill workers would know instantly that it was from genetically engineered trees. Also, the wood was better looking that way, and furniture and decorating companies wanted to buy it more.

At the end of the dream I got shown to my 'Houselet'. It was essentially a miniature one room house with just a bed and a TV (no bathroom) built in a very nice natural setting in the mountains. My only complaint was that there was no bathroom

30 April 2015

After the show at school was over, I was assigned to take the box full of yummy goodies and supplements back to the classroom.
The visual perspective and colour of the dream seemed sepia and olden days.
An old classmate, Andrew, asked if he could have the left over sweet potatoes in the box. I obliged, thinking to myself that
they would go to waste otherwise.

Once in the class where the drop off was to be made i began scavenging for the expensive leftover, putting the AFA-Blue green algae from Klamath into my pocket.There where others in the room watch, although they did not seem to care.

A show ensued, and a dramatic fight scene followed..the kind you would see in chinese movies. One of the female battlers wearing gypsy white pants did an upside down impossible helicopter kick. The sight was hilarious and I woke up in a deep and throat laugh, thinking to myself "you know shits funny when you wake up laughing".
__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ____

Liam had just started at a new car company working under an Indian man. He seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself, as did i just shadowing there for the day.
A randomised computer key generator was able to find the code to unlock cars cd player, one that was readily available on the internet. This was a surprise as other mechanics paid a pretty penny for the program.
A twinge of jealousy had overcome me as I knew he would be earning more than me, and Matthew would be going overseas to make some money and buy a new Audi hatchback.

We all sat in a circle and they played a drinking card game, Nehanda and Annette( although it looked like Mardy) included. A bottle of vodka was soon opened and Annette started to drink.I opted out as I quit drinking, but was quite disappointed and frustrated that Annette gave into peer pressure that easily.

I was in a mall at night. I was in the entryway. I sensed that someone or something is after me. I started to run away. I went to the back part of the mall, and it's no longer night. It's daytime. The place just opened, and there's a small crowd gathering during the ribbon-cutting ceremony, which concluded just as I arrived. I vaulted over an obstacle and jumped around. The place looked like a mini-forest and obstacle course. I passed by (I was moving around all the time) a lot of net and adventure-like structures.

I was then kong-running (quadrupedal) along the road at night. It's a small two-way(?) road. I was running on the road itself, so I moved to the side (right) to avoid vehicles. I got tired and had to pause but worried that whatever was chasing me would catch up.

I ended up in some dorm or mini-mall. It was dark inside but daytime. I was hiding. I saw some people run. I also ran and jumped up a fence with spikes. Daytime. That's where the thing chasing me caught me. It turned out to be a devil. It wanted to kill me or possess me for some reason. I didn't feel fear but I felt so sad that I cried hard. I said something like I don't fear dying but I dislike the fact that I will no longer know/hear/learn of stories. I told the devil that I will willingly die if it will tell me a story.

He told me a story, I think, but I cannot recall. When it was time to die, I complained at first that the story wasn't done yet. He gave me some sort of ice-pick-looking knife with a flat and thick black handle. I was about to pierce my chest with it when the devil disappeared, cursing (or shouting?). I was in the living room in our hometown. I saw that the VHS tape got entangled. I got frustrated that it happened. My sister was there and asked her if she played that before and she said yes. I told her the last part got entangled.

---

Notes:

- Slept at around 2 a.m., woke up at 8 a.m. due to alarm, slept, woke up at 11 a.m.
- Drank milk before sleeping
- Slept listening to Sam Harris' 26-minute meditation audio

Some years ago, when he was still very young, Bolt entered a rocket contest. Not long after launch, one of the engines failed causing the ship to fall from the sky, but the emergency parachute deployed at the last minute, saving his life. In the rocket with him at the time was a romantic interest of his, who was badly injured, and the man who designed the rocket, Bolt’s good friend Heinrich. Heinrich, unfortunately, perished in the accident.
After the incident, Bolt went underground for a while. A few years later, we’re hanging out at his mansion by the ocean:
We sit outside, Bolt and I lying on our bellies side by side in the long, manicured grass of his back lawn. Sitting criss-cross next to us is his little sister and one of Bolt’s friends. Bolt is young, yet, maybe 24, his disasterly rocket failing having occurred when he was not but 19. He’s always been a genius for rockets. His sister is younger yet, 14 or so. His friend also a bit younger, 19 or 20. Sitting in front of the four of us is Bolt and his sister’s private tutor. Tutor is trying unsuccessfully to give a lecture to the 4 of us. Bolt’s friend and little sister are dutifully paying attention, but Bolt and I keep getting distracted and giggling. At one point we even run off for about a half hour so he can fly me around in one of his smaller rockets. It’s an absolute blast. Pun completely intentional.
Coming back from our rocket foray, Bolt and I are giddy with laughter and adrenaline.
“That was crazy! I can’t believe you get paid to do that!” I say, panting from the exhilaration.
“Yeah, a butt ton too.” He says, still laughing.
“What do you do with all that money? You get paid—what—a million or so every time you go up in a rocket?”
“1.7 million, actually. And I honestly don’t know what to do with it all so I give most of it away to charities.” He says, shrugging as we settle back down before the Tutor.
Tutor snorts, “You don’t donate most of your money, you invest it.”
Bolt rolls his eyes, “fine, I do invest it, but a lot of those investments are into trust funds for charities. By the way, how are the investments doing?”
“All doing very well. You’ll be significantly richer before the day is out.”
Bolt nods, obviously pleased by this.
“Now,” says Tutor, “back to the lesson.”
The four of us nod and he continues talking, but I’m completely lost to Bolt, Beautiful Bolt. In the warm breeze his silken blond locks slip softly across his forehead. His strong jaw and supple skin beg to be caressed. His brown eyes are kind, and his body slim and shaped as though he were Adonis himself.
I interrupt the tutor. “Bolt, what’s your ideal kind of gal?”
He pauses to think a moment. “Hmm, I can’t say I have an ideal. I just want to find a girl who sees me for who I am. A girl who knows me and loves me anyway. A girl whom I could love and be happy with.”
I smile. “I could love you, Bolt. Could you love me?”
He looks at me then. Really looks at me. Then he smiles too. “Yeah, Ambrielle, I could love you.”
“I want to marry you.” I say, breathless at the thought that this beautiful, wonderful man might actually be mine.
“I would like that,” He says, still smiling. “I would like that very much.”
I’m totally overjoyed. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Bolt, the handsome, rich, kind, loving Bolt wants to marry me. Me!
“…Someday.” He says.
“What?” I say, not really sure I heard him right.
“I would like to marry you someday. But not yet. Right now I have a craving for something, so I think we should wait a while to get married. …You know,” He adds, almost as an afterthought, “if I were to give you a piece of advice it would be to become Mormon.”
I think my eyes are going to fall out of my head they’ve gone so wide. “What?”
“Yeah, I mean, Mormons have it figured out. They’re such nice people and girls should protect their virtue. That’s really important. It’s not right for a girl to have sex with a lot of different guys. She should just be with the one she loves.”
I honestly can’t believe what’s coming out of his mouth right now. Here, all this time, I thought he was the perfect man for me. And yet, it seems he has a craving for virgins. Well, there’s nothing I can do about that now. My virginity is long gone and I’m not planning to convert anytime soon. I could become a born again virgin, but somehow I get the feeling that’s not good enough for him.
Standing abruptly, I walk away from him. There’s no reason for me to ever come back to this place, come back to Bolt. He’s no different than any other, shallow man.
Making my way inside the mansion, I find myself in a huge, bustling building. I guess I hadn’t realized how popular Bolt really was. As I step into the middle of the four story glass structure and peer up to the balconies of the stories above, all also packed with young adults, it hits me just how famous Bolt might be.
I sense a presence behind me and turn to find Bolt’s friend standing there, looking sheepish.
“If you like, I can show you where to get a really good drink in here.” He keeps his eyes low as he talks to me, and fidgets with his hands. I get the feeling he’s used to being over looked in the shadow of Bolt.
“I don’t have any money,” I say.
“Don’t worry,” he says, “it’s free.”
He looks up at me then and it’s as though I’m seeing him for the first time. His shaggy, black hair shines brilliantly under the florescent lights. His eyes are the clearest blue I’ve ever seen. He’s not much taller than I am, maybe 5’10 or 6 foot. Not like Bolt who’s a towering 6’5. And he wears glasses, slim ones, but as I notice this he takes them off and slips them into his pocket. Reading glasses, evidently. Cute.
I smile and nod my head, “I would like that then, please, lead the way.”
His eyes meet mine and he smiles genuinely, something I don’t think I’ve ever seen him do before. My heart skips a beat.

Sometime later Bolt announces his return from retirement and enters another rocket contest. He wants to fly Heinrich’s rocket again, convinced they’ve been able to fix it since the accident. On the day of the competition, the rocket fails again, and this time when the rocket falls from the sky the parachute doesn’t deploy. Of the 50 or so people who went up with him, most of them are dead and the rest are significantly injured. Again, Bolt is the only one to make it out alive and unharmed.
His competitor in the challenge turns out to be the girl he almost killed in the last rocket crash, his old romantic interest. She’s risen in the ranks to seek vengeance. In the end, I wake up before I get to see her fly. But I have a feeling she would have won.

Time to start again

Last night 2 tiny dream fragments that I don't remember in any great detail.

First one - Obviously influenced by the fact I was listening to breaking dawn on Audible while I dropped off to sleep last night, I have a vague recollection of dreaming something to do with Edward Cullen and I distinctly remember thinking in the dream that he was pretty creepy and did nothing for me

2nd One - Remember very little about this one too but it was something to do with me texting Andrew McCarthy (back when he was hot from pretty in pink) and pouring my heart out to him by text, to get a less than impressive response. I called him all upset, it turned out it was a total misunderstanding and he ended singing me to sleep in my dream with a beautiful song. It sounded a lot like the dwarf song about the misty mountains from The Hobbit, but it was in Gaelic.