non-lucid

Morning of May 11, 2015. Monday.



I seem to be in a cold region in a mostly featureless building with little or no furniture. There are more children than adults and it illogically seems to be near either Antarctica or the Arctic region, though that is not certain. Most people seem seated and leaning against a grayish inner wall. The setting remains mostly semi-dark. There seems to be a concern for an unknown length of time about having warmer clothes or more food just to survive from day to day, though the setting does not really seem apocalyptic.

A man who reminds me of Nixon makes a brief (at first) appearance. However, the face is not very realistic, even being somewhat plastic-like, like a mask, and quite pale. It is not a mask though; it is just a “frozen grin” over a somewhat grotesque, almost sadistic visage. At one point, the man lifts his arms up as Nixon used to do but for no particular reason, it seems, though he seems to automatically do it when approached or addressed.

The “Nixon” man seems to be the main authority around the warehouse-like refuge. There is a small plant nursery but not nearly enough to feed the residents. At one point, a ship arrives, requiring certain males to go out and chop away at the ice until the ship gets through in a rather time-wasting zigzagging route. There are mostly only sheep aboard the ship (probably some sort of word play going on here).

The Nixon man goes close to some of the sheep and holds their “chin” to look into their eyes. He tells the captain of the ship to take them all back and I see a rather odd cartoon balloon fading in and out that shows sketchy sheep drawings - they are sitting in chairs and playing cards. “Send back the sheep,” says Nixon, “so that they may fulfill their dreams of white houses and picket fences” (“white house” likely a play on “White House” and “picket” related to picketing/protesting). I see a one-panel cartoon of a sheep mowing the lawn in “Far Side” style (possible reference to sheep shearing - not sure if it came from an actual cartoon image I once saw - I know there were a lot of “sheep as humans” gags).

I am aware that all of the adults and children will die, but there is a strange focus on whether or not it will be by starvation or lack of warm clothes. I also have a brief thought that they may be the last humans on Earth, even though, again, it somehow does not seem apocalyptic (at least not a major event).

Similar to another recent dream, I only see a head floating near my dream’s final segment. In this case, Nixon’s entire body and much of the head vanishes, leaving a Guy Fawkes mask that moves side to side in a corner of an empty room (in midair at head height) as if to say “no” (although I do not get the impression it is saying “no”; just a result of some sort of momentum with no intelligence of any kind being present). I am trying to “remember” if the whole Earth is frozen.



There is a sustained hypnopompic focus on the misuse of the word “carnivore” to describe non-vegetarians or to describe anyone that eats meat at all. (I do not eat much cooked red meat and do not care much for steak - did not eat hardly any steak prior to around age nineteen. Also, lamb meat makes me immediately ill due to its horrid greasiness and I cannot understand how people can eat it unless in a survival situation.) The ridiculous misuse of the word “carnivore” (in the uneducated colloquial sense; in the same light as calling a turtle a “gopher” or a skunk a “polecat” as they do mainly in the south in America) makes me realize how critical thinking skills are completely lacking in some people just to serve a fringe agenda and to continuously belittle or troll others. A vegetarian does not usually eat meat (and I have nothing against vegetarians), so a carnivore would technically not ever eat vegetables or in fact, anything but fresh uncooked meat. Reason does not dawn on such people, though, even in diverse situational examples related to survival scenarios and it is quite unfortunate. This is something that sometimes goes through my mind, this time influenced by a few things I recently saw on the media related to the supposed torture of all sheep by all shearers (notice I said “all”) when sheared, which was rightfully discredited and debunked by the news staff (though certainly not to imply that the media is always honest or that all shearers are competent).

Ironically, sheep are used as an argument for sentient beings and their (animal) rights while some of the same mentalities call people “sheep” in a very negative context; hypocrisy at its finest. I pointed this out back in 1991 to penfriends from California and it actually dawned on them that my commentary was correct and that the realization caused them to feel a bit strange and less “militant” and “anti-human” in their views.

It's been exactly 30 days since my first entry! But today's not any different. Didn't MILD and hardly any recall. In fact, I can hardly remember anything. Only around the location I was in but really nothing else. I need to do better tonight!

Large place

I was in this large hallway in a school. There was lots of people with me and we were going through. I also recall being in a classroom.

Hi. How's it going?

I woke up a few times, but remembered no dreams. It seems that I wake up too gradually, with whole minutes of half-awareness. By the time I realised what was going on, I already forgot all my dreams.

Interruptions (FLD/LD, ND), Back in Netherlands (ND) (—7:10)

I was in what I imagine to be a FA — I somehow knew I would enter a LD. The next thing I know is I'm in the ocean just off the beach, carrying what I assume to be my sister (it could be someone else — I'm not sure). Behind us was a goofy looking Voldermort with a sword and mediaeval clothing (of which I remember a white blouse-like shirt). The dream even paused so I could look at it a bit longer. Also, he flew and was flanked by vaguely defined henchman.

So I swam to the beach where I tried flying away — I could jump high, but I couldn't fly while carrying presumably my sister. Since there was a large, building-like obstacles in the way, we went around the right side. There was more beach there, with a small crowd of DC. For a moment I thought Voldermort would never actively harm me because of all the witnesses.

So then I headed back towards the buildings, from the east side. I jumped up and over buildings and then…

Then there was this tall wired fence, one which looked so imposing, it just had to be electrifying. Beyond the fence were endless dunes of sand. There was also someone who looked an awful lot like Steven Stone (Pokemon character). The dunes all a solid yellow and solid black (shadows), and I somehow got an impression they weren't actually dunes, but more like nonexistence.

At this point I was thinking of the ocean and beach prior and putting together some kind of theory that the island was the mere blob of existence in an endless ocean of nonexistence. Thinking back to how I was screwing about with Voldermort and such, I ascended to a higher state of lucidity. I turned around, imagined a doorway in the fence, turned back, and it was there. My vision was slightly blurry. However, I didn't want to go through — if it was all endless 'dunes', what would be the point? I then started thinking of goals I had on my mind whilst awake. I felt some sort of passion build up in me — I knew I was on a breakthrough with my clarity of mind. My goals came to me clearly, and I knew just what I ha—

I woke up. It was a FA. I lost lucidity, went back to sleep and hoped to get back to the dream.

Then there was this vague repeat of the last dream, except it had all sorts of Pokemon characters in there. It was now a video game all of the sudden without any lucidity.

…

I was by my parents' restaurant and it was raining. This was bad because I had hidden my phone beneath a flower pot (for... some reason?). I check on my phone but aside from a few drops of water it was fine. I readjusted the flower pot in such a manner my phone would remain hidden as well as remain dry. I then leave with my parents off to somewhere with the car.

On the way there, I asked where we were going. My father say something along the lines of... I don't remember, but it was boring. Not to mention I had second thoughts about housing my phone below a flower pot. I asked to be left out so I could walk the way back.

I come across a few of the landmarks we passed on the way there, such as a canal where the roads slanted up (and the canals would be subsequently deeper), as well as a whole bunch of stone stairways. The stairways had thick railings that doubled as decorative waterfalls. I could slide down these waterfalls and would go very fast, but I can't remember actually getting wet. also, I remember sliding down all the stairways, but I initially had to go up. At another point I couldn't pass through because there was a long wave of children riding out from a small grass field for sports and such. I noted that all their bicycles looked like some sort of plastic (but still sturdy) . I wondered whether this was some kind of new design thing.

Eventually I realised that I was in Amsterdam all along! How did I get there? I walked? Okay, so I wasn't wholly convinced I was in Amsterdam, so I checked for signs that I was — I saw this restaurant we once went to, as well as an alleyway with a signboard saying "King's Cross" (even though that's London/Harry Potter, even though the train station was the whole other way, even though supposed 'King's Cross' actually led to the car parking area). I decided to check out on my father's restaurant in the near vicinity. I came across something that was supposedly it, but it was buried behind curtains and such and it was hard to see. I found this rather odd.

I then came across my older sister who just so happened to bent there, which was also odd considering there was this row she had with father where due they still do not interact with each other. Therefore, I was a bit dubious over her positive demeanour.

The topic turned to that of coins and mystic religion statues and such. It's all a bit blurry (actually can't be bothered to continue typing).

I remember returning to the stone stairways again. Those were fun.

Sitting near the oven

I was in my kitchen. I was sitting on a bench placed near an oven. I had only underwear on me. I looked at the clock and it was nearing midnight. Then I looked inside the oven, and saw that there is a pizza, baking inside.

Praying near the grave

With my father we went to local graveyard. It was cloudy afternoon. We looked for a grave of person I can't recall. We searched the grave for a while, and we found it. Then another man joined us, we hold our hands and prayed.

Ritual: It was a great night for dreaming, probably because I went to bed so much earlier than usual, though I've also been especially attentive to my RCs for the last couple days. I went to bed a little before midnight, and I'm also currently on the East Coast, so the clock was three hours ahead of my usual time zone. My sleep was punctuated with the usual half-dozen wakings, though I didn't do any specific night practices other than try to pay attention to the transitions between sleeping and waking, and in this I was not persistant or prompt enough to pull off a WILD or a DEILD. But by around 6am I woke up from the first DILD, spent until 7:30am writing it down, then went back to bed and lucked into a second one.

NLD, "Drones": I'm standing by a floor-to-ceiling, wall-length window in a big hotel suite, looking out over the curve of a bay. From the height we must be somewhere between the 20th and 30th floor, and to the right I can see another tall building, or perhaps an extension of the same hotel, following the curve of the beach. Ahead and to the left is the flat horizon of the sea. It would be a pleasant view if it weren't for all the drones hovering in our field of vision, each one carrying a sign with a single word on it, white block letters on a black background. The words seem to be completely random.

"It's like some dystopian future," I comment to Peter Dinklage, who is standing to my left. I muse about what it would be like if the drones were weaponized, and turned on us like machines tend to do in science fiction. Though a chilling thought, they are awkwardly constructed without any armoring, and look like they would be easy to shoot down.

Then I notice that although they are not armed with guns, each drone is fitted with a camera, which is just as bad in some ways. Are they conducting mass surveillance on us? The cameras are all pointed directly at us. As I watch, a see a few drones of a different type fly in very close. They are not carrying signs, and they are disk-shaped, topped with a transparent dome through which we can see tiny people inside operating them. The pilots can't be human: even though I am standing next to a dwarf, they are much smaller than him, the size of babies, but with adult features and pointed ears. One of them waves at us, and Peter Dinklage says something like, "This is really disturbing."

FA-DILD, "Smallpox": Shortly after this I have the sense of waking up, though it is not a typical FA; I do not find myself in bed. I feel like I am standing in the same spot, in the same room, only awake now. Everyone else who was in the room a moment ago is gone, and there is no longer any impression of a view. The light has changed, becoming greyer and dimmer: it felt like late afternoon a moment ago, now it feels like early morning.

At once I notice that something is wrong with my body: a dense network of small patchy blisters is completely covering my skin. I look at myself in third person, as though in a mirror, and see them everywhere: covering my face, my chest, my arms, every patch of visible skin is mottled with these raised lesions. I know exactly what they are, too, I've seen them before in historical pictures: these are smallpox pustules, apparently in an early stage, since they are slightly lighter than my natural skin color and haven't scabbed or opened yet.

Immediately my rational mind rejects the scenario: didn't I get vaccinated for this? I realize I don't specifically remember getting a smallpox vaccine, but... isn't that because smallpox is extinct? I can't recall the details but I'm sure I remembered hearing that. Surely it's not making a comeback, like measles, because of all these anti-vaccers? But that can't be right—if smallpox were coming back then vaccinations for it would have become available, and I'd have been first in line.

This can't be happening. I try to will away the pustules but nothing changes. I remain unconvinced. This can't be happening, it must be a dream. If I can levitate, I will know it is a dream: I put my mind to it and though I do not levitate properly, I can feel that gravity is definitely different from waking life. So it is a dream! Okay, that's what I thought. Thank goodness I don't really have smallpox. Now I just need to fix my appearance.

I go into the bathroom and look in the mirror, trying to will my skin smooth again. The pustules are stubbornly persistant, but a lock of hair turns white and I decide to transform the rest of it for fun. It instantly turns stark white, but the texture remains smooth and silky. This gives me the idea to turn my skin jet black, like that of a drow elf. I concentrate and most of it transforms, but there are still pale patches on my forehead and upper cheeks, and when I look down at my legs, they are a streaky grey that is fading out toward the ankles, more like body paint than skin pigment.

On the bright side, changing the color of my skin finally got rid of the pustules, leaving it smooth again. Now I just want to even out the color, but the pale patches resist my initial attempts to darken them through will alone. I try to use my hands, as though spreading pigment over the resistant areas, and this helps a bit, but it is not an easy fix. As I peer closer into the mirror during this process, I notice that my eyes are solid black. I can't remember if this was the correct color for drow eyes, but I really like the effect. By the time I complete the skin transformation, my hair has faded from snow white to a yellower bone white, and this looks better and more natural with the jet black eyes and skin.

During this process my hair has been going through stylistic variations, always long and straight, but hanging down in different ways, and smeared with substances like blood or oil. I figure this makes sense for drow fashion, since living underground they probably don't bathe all that often, making hair treatments like oil very practical, whereas the bloody streaks look impressively gruesome. Although my skin won't stay pure black, it doesn't fully revert to its natural shade either, but retains traces of color, like streaky orange-browns on a muted blue base, while the hair stays yellowish-white.

WBTB: I woke up and spent over an hour writing the report of the last dream, but afterwards it was still early enough to go back to bed. Although I was not sleepy, it was a pleasantly lazy morning, and I enjoyed drifting in hypnagogic imagery. There was a period of ambiguity where it became increasingly difficulty to tell if I was having waking or dreaming experiences, and then I slipped again into full dream.

DILD, "Bed Monsters": I was wandering through the large house belonging to my in-laws where I am currently staying, and I had lost count of the number of bedrooms... there had to be more than twenty. Just how big was this place? At that moment I realized, no, of course it is not so big in waking life, it is because I am dreaming that the size has been exaggerated. Dreaming, eh? Wasn't there something I had meant to do, if I found myself dreaming in a bedroom? Suddenly I recalled this month's TOTM, to make friends with the monster under your bed. Oh! I should get back to the room where I'd been sleeping! I dashed back so quickly I was afraid I would destabilize the dream, but luckily it stayed intact.

I peered under the bed but it was a pleasant open space. It looked like there were a few banal things stored under there, but nothing looked sinister or monstrous. I felt around for something to work with, and my hand closed around a small plush object, which I withdrew and examined closely. It was a small brown teddy bear, only five inches long, with a plump, pear-shaped body and tiny beady eyes. There was a lighter brown oval around the bit of stiching that served as a nose. I was impressed with the detail with which I could perceive it, but had no idea how was I supposed to "make friends" with it. It seemed totally inert, a harmless stuffed animal. I set it on the thick folds of the comforter piled on the bed. "Dance!" I commanded. It just sat there. "Dance!" I tried a few more times, but it remained inaminate.

I walked around to the other side of the bed, setting down the teddy bear on a dresser. I turned away for a moment, and when I looked again it had changed: now it was a sort of bell-shaped plastic structure hanging from the ceiling by a string. I couldn't tell what its purpose was, but it still appeared to be an inert object.

It occurred to me that I had been walking around and standing right next to the bed completely heedless of the space underneath. If there really were monsters under there, I'd have to watch out for my ankles! I wondered if this was the problem, that I didn't really have any lingering childhood fear of monsters under the bed. Perhaps I should try again with more intent.

I bent down and looked under the bed from this side, trying to keep the idea of monsters in mind. I still didn't see much under there: it was a light and airy space, just like in waking life, completely different from the overstuffed space under my bed at home. But I did see a scrap of cloth within arm's reach, so pulled it out. It turned out to be a little crocheted cat, only about three inches long, white with some orange spots. I guessed it must have been made by a total amateur. The body seemed floppy like it was unstuffed, and as I turned it over in my hands, I discovered that it was actually crocheted in a single flat piece with the four little legs sticking out horizontally, so only when it was folded in half along the back did it look plausibly like a cat. The head was the only piece that appeared to have been crocheted with any semblance of three-dimensionality. As I studied it closely, I saw tiny points of bright green contrasting with the dominant the white and orange: there was a little green tuft on the trip of the tail, and projecting from the head was a narrow appendange like the antenna of a cartoon alien, also topped with a green point.

However, this object also showed no sign of motion or life, so it would be hard to say I was "making friends" with it. But then my eye caught a glimpse of orange fur near my feet: my cat had appeared! I wasn't surprised that she had turned up: when thinking about the task in waking life, I had reasoned that she really was the monster under my bed. Though I adopted her when she was about five months old (the best guess of the shelter) she had been living in a feral state before that, and even after five years of comfortable indoor living she still has the edgy instincts of a street cat: she hisses at the slightest provocation, and holes up under the bed for hours whenever a stranger is in the house.

I knelt down to ruffle her long, soft fur, which felt totally life-like, but I noticed the color was off. In the dream she was calico, with big orange patches, but I remembered that she was a tabby in waking life. I wondered if she could qualify as my dream bed monster—though right now she was acting very pleasant and relaxed, and I figured it probably wouldn't count because I had already made friends with her in WL.

Yet again I peeked under the bed, and this time at last I found the perfect candidate for my experiment. I felt that it was connected somehow with the tame cat at my feet, as though all her feral qualities had separated into a different animal. This one had a tortoise-shell coat, all the same colors as a calico but in smaller, more mingled patches. Although the fur resembled that of a cat, the body suggested another animal entirely, with a narrower head and tapering snout. I was pretty sure it was a fox. Best of all, it was already hissing and snarling at me! This was the monster I had been looking for!

Now all I had to do was make friends with it. I began calling to it in the cooing, overly affectionate voice I might use with my cat. "Come here... lovely sweetie... lovely sweetie. I have treats for you my love... treats for you my love." The animal reacted as any feral creature would, holding its ground and continuing to hiss and snarl. I could see the tension locked into its body, poised for fight or flight. I reasoned that since it was a dream monster, the best approach would be to hug it, but that wasn't obviously wasn't going to be possible while it was still under the bed. I needed to draw it out first.

I reached under the bed and the animal snapped at the air and threatened to bite me. I considered drawing my hand back for a different approach but decided to let it go ahead and bite, inspired by that wonderful scene in Miyazaki's Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind where Nausicaa tames the fox-squirrel by remaining calm and patient when it bites her finger. Plus, since it was a dream I didn't have to worry about physical harm. So I kept reaching toward the animal until it bit down on the middle of my left index finger. The pain was surprisingly clear and sharp, but easily manageable. I kept thinking of that scene from Nausicaa and projecting similar expectations on this situation. I felt the animal relax enough to take a few steps closer to me, but it had not yet emerged from under the bed when the dream abruptly faded. Intriguingly, even after I had fully transitioned to wakefulness, I could still feel a distinct itch in the second joint of my left index finger where the animal had bitten me.

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I didn't try MILD tonight. Could only remember some a portion of my dreams.

Space Favor

I was in this vessel and I was in space. I remember being with someone and this person really wanted me to go back to earth and assemble something. I can't remember what this thing was but the scene changed and I was in this very old-time time similar to the Elizabethan era. I recall a carriage going down and lots of markets. I went to this place and was assembling the thing. I ran into a major problem, which wasn't my fault, and couldn't fix it. So I decided to go to further lengths by making something similar. For the record, I'm not even sure if I was assembling something, though I probably was because I remember the thing he asked me involving wheels, but I know I was doing him a favor and I couldn't finish it. I was transported back to the vessel and the guy looked pleased. I went somewhere else and my view changed to 3rd person where a man suddenly appeared in the same room as the guy and he said, "have you still not noticed it?" The guy replied with no and the mysterious man answered with, "he couldn't complete the thing he was asking you so he deliberately pushed himself to help you out!" It was something along those lines, at least. The guy was surprised and I can't remember what happens from here.

The fall of civilisation

A huge disaster killed many people and made all the governments to cease in existence. Survivors grouped together and made their own, small towns to start anew. I was a lone wanderer. I travelled a long way and stopped at a fortifications made by society of farmers.

I spent a few days there, and people were upset about me. I noticed that one of the farmers had trouble, and he was preparing his rifle. I asked him about that, and he told me that he has problems with wolves. I decided to help him, and readied my own weapon - a small, one gun made out of copper. It's magazine could hold only one bullet.

When the night time came, we moved to the fields. Wolves jumped out, and we started to shoot them. When I noticed that I used my whole ammo, I jumped straight into the group and wrestled with them. After a while we killed all of them.

The farmer asked me if everything is ok. I looked at my legs and saw blood spilling out of many deep bites. I told him that everything is right. We moved back to farmers city. It was nearing midnight. The farmer told me to wait for news from the local rulers.

I decided to not wait for him, and went away. I walked slowly, and when the morning came I spotted another city on the way. It was ruled by bandits, that weren't hostile towards me. I left my one bullet gun with guards, and went inside to see what I can find there.

I haven't posted in like a week. Foul recall everywhere. Anyways, I had a decent lucid come out of nowhere last night.

Some dream about space pirates who we were fighting. They had caputred our ship and imprisoned us in this big black fortress base on an ice planet. I remember getting into one of the gun turrets and destroying these fuel silos that caused the whole base to start burning.

Our ship managed to escape. It was this big zepplin-looking thing with all of these little white triangle shaped planes attached to the outside. They started to detach from our main ship and attack the pirate base.

-(Unintentional) WBTB-

I was with S on my university campus. We were walking around when someone approached us claiming to be Manei, though she was short and had blonde hair. We kind of brushed her off at first but she started following us. We started to run away from her and went into the men's restroom. She even followed us in there.

"Dude, is this girl seriously trying to get with me?"

"Doubt it. She's been chasing me for years, why should she start going for you all of the sudden?"

...

I was outside running along the parking lot. It was a bright, clear summer day. (Contrasting the nightmare that was about to unfold.) The DC appeared again.

"Come with me, I have everything Manei has, I'm even good at archery!"

"The real Manei doesn't know archery..."

This was the first time I looked closely at her face. One eye had nothing in it, was just white. Her teeth were yellow and rotten, and wrinkles galore. (I know you're not supposed to judge based on looks, but-...ughh)

There was some legitimate explanation that I had from the real Manei that this was like an aspect of herself that she had created to separate out some of her flaws and insecurities.

I started to walk off.

"You're doing a really bad job of impersonating her with that skin... If you did your homework you would know she has black hair and darker skin."

I saw her head spin around her neck. When it came back around it looked really disturbing. She had a sort of mask of her face, but it sagged in places, notably around the eyes. Her hair color changed, and her skin tone got darker, but didn't quite match the mask.

I also sensed her energy. It was weak, but it was dark and rancid.

"Now, you won't hurt a face like this will you..."

"I've had enough of this!"

I jumped into the air and started flying. I remember seeing my red fire jet this time. (Hey, where were you last time?) Wind began to form a tornado around me, blowing some leaves around me. I manipulated the winds and picked up a couple of cars from the parking lot and got ready to throw them at her. I also made an air shield around me.

Her mask blew off, revealing her original face. I remember she tried to throw these little throwing stars at me. I dodged a few of them. (The wind sheild didn't block them.) One of them hit me in the shoulder though, but I didn't feel anything. I fought back by throwing one of the cars, but she jumped out of the way and threw another throwing star.

"Leave my dreams and never come back!"

I sent the other three cars down on her, one after the other. Three direct hits. I saw her get crushed, but when I threw them aside, no body. I lost the dream due to emotion (I was mad) and woke up.

Aaahhh.. I'm writing so late. Tonight I recall having lots of natural awakenings but not doing anything in them. Also, I can only remember some fragments of dreams which I want to keep to myself.

FA - Funeral Wreath of Quicker and Merciful Death

I woke up in my bed. It was dark everywhere. I decided to go to the toilet. When I wanted to turn the lights in the toilet on, I saw that there are some new switches and a plaque saying that it was made by European Union. I look at the first switches note, and it said "For Poles in European Union".

I used the switch, but it haven't done anything. I looked at a note for the second switch - "For smoking Poles". I used it and the effect was the same. The third switch was "For Poles that want to use toilet". I used the switch, and it haven't done anything too.

I concluded that the energy is out, and decied to go to the kitchen instead. When I reached the room I saw my pal sitting on a coach and my mother taking something out of a box. The room was faintly lit by a candle. From the couch I could see a mirror in the corridor next to kitchen. The conversation started:

Me: What are you doing?
Mother: A Funeral Wreath of Quicker and Merciful Death.
Me: Who would want something like that?
Pal: Right. Who want's it?
Mother: I'm afraid that no one would like to see it, even if it helps some suffering people.

Then the mirror in the corridor caught my attention. I looked at it, and suddenly felt a cold chill going down my spine.

Morning of May 8, 2015. Friday.



This dream is a very good example of how even the best, most focused scripting can go awry once entering a dream state (though it depends on the form of meditation, “automatic” affirmation acceptance, and concurrent imagery). Although over the years, I have often noticed more and more “automatic” personal control over many dreams (even non-lucid ones) and the growing knowledge (with increasing levels of precision) of how my mind and attitude creates dreams, there is often another facet of my real-time (present) experience that becomes triggered somehow, though which is still solely of my waking character. In this case, it was probably being annoyed in real life by thoughtless impositions on our family by NBN workers. Aligning the transitions between different levels of consciousness to more fluidly move through them (from the onset of fully conscious hypnagogia I have had since early childhood) while remaining my true self is not that difficult at times (even at some levels of otherwise disruptive environmental noise), but the most curious thing still is how memory completely fails on such a grand scale even after only a few seconds in some cases. Sleep paralysis is still usually a very pleasant experience (unlike what I have read from other sources) and is automatically triggered by exertion or so-called overexercise, and oddly, overexercise, even at my present age, brings feelings of being healthier and more relaxed even if I had earlier felt ill.

In my dream, I am walking in an unknown area, which seems like some sort of composite between a part of this town (in the commercial district), the south side of La Crosse, and where I went to school in Florida. I am walking down the street, seemingly with the intent to study a large notebook I am carrying (probably a type of dream journal) while relaxing in a nearby park.

I seem to be walking on Bourbong Street on the left side, heading east, growing closer to the edge of the urban area. As I walk, I notice a young Asian male on my left, who is seated on the sidewalk and leaning against the outer wall (near a corner) of a business building, fairly close to an intersection. He seems quite happy. On his right is an unknown female (though her appearance is not that clear).

I soon find myself in a park that reminds me of the playground where I went to school in Florida. The park is very crowded though there are areas to sit down. I sit down and lean against a tree and open my notebook. Curiously, on the left side when I open it, there is a clear display page containing a large photograph (about two-thirds the size of the A4 page) that shows the imagery I had just seen of the male leaning against the building. I do not consider this as impossible or untimely at all. I look through my book and notice various pages that are “pieces” of my personal history and ideas.

After a time, I notice the presence of an unknown female on my right, possibly a college student who came to the park to study, and who seems to be fairly “dominant” and self-aware. I eventually notice that I am somehow sitting farther from the tree (with no memory of having moved) and feeling a bit imposed upon. I turn back to the girl and bring attention to the fact that she had supposedly been pushing me away from where I was seated near the tree (and I supposedly only moved little by little out of politeness and to avoid any potential confrontation). I seem a bit angry, but not aggressive in any way. She does not react other than giving me a curious look as if perhaps I have lost my mind and simply moved away from her on my own for no particular reason (in fact, she is facing perpendicular to where I am and had probably not really pushed me physically at any point). She remains where she is, appearing stoic and not offended in any way. I notice she has a notebook much like mine and seems to be studying the pages carefully.

In fact, I had deliberately scripted such a scene (up until the time when I become annoyed) where I would be given healing energies as well as answered questions and possible information about the future by a representation of the universe when “she” appeared. This is certainly not the first time that I threw a monkey wrench into my own unfolding script (though this does not happen in fully lucid dreams) and it likely will not be the last.

I began walking down a sidewalk near a school building. I soon started thinking to myself that if I found myself randomly walking in a place I had no idea about, I most likely am not really here. It was sunny, and as I got closer to thew school, I realize I forgot my bag. I lost my previous train of thought and continue inside the gym where there were other students attending. I confronted one student and had a short talk. Soon after the scene change. Lucidity Time: 7 seconds

I was in a hotel being chased by someone. I wanted to escape really badly so I hopped in an elevator. I knew this elevator is special but I don't know how. I pressed on a level button, and I was immediately on that floor. I peaked out from the door and it was a eerily dim hallway lit with fluorescent light. It was completely empty, and narrow. I went to another level. Same setup but with hospital beds this time. So that was even more creepy. I went to another level, and I was immediately in a room. Somewhere along the levels, I realized this is virtual reality. That whatever is happening isn't real but I could feel everything. A nurse told me that she could find out what's wrong with me, and I agreed to it. She explained that she will scan my whole body, and it will hurt a lot. I thought for sure the pain would be nothing. But when she was scanning me, it was very painful with a lot of vibration. I remembered that she had the device over my chest, and my head for a while. After the scanning was done, I asked her what's wrong with my head. She replied "Nothing, nothing's wrong with you". I wasn't satisfied with her answer because I had a rush of negative emotions and memories during the scan. The scan got me really angry and violent inside. It made me want to find the person that was after me, and tear him to shreds for what he did to me.

MILD's working great! I was able to wake up earlier than I did before (or at least I think I did, didn't really check the time). Last time I woke up at 6:00 a.m. , and today I (think) I woke up around 5:00 a.m. . Even though I centered my MILD more around gaining lucidity than to wake up, I'm glad I'm getting better. Too bad I didn't take the chance to do a WBTB. (Couldn't I have at least done FILD? )

Without further ado, here's my dream tonight:

Surprise meeting

I was in school. It was the end of the day, and I was packing up. Before I left though, there was a boy and his sister in the gym who were staying there for after school practice. They were practicing a sport which I couldn't recognize. I only remember that it involved a ball and going through a maze. For a strange reason, the girl had a very low level of confidence and thought she couldn't do anything in the sport. Her brother couldn't help her either, though he wasn't there at the moment. I forgot how but I cheered her up/helped her and she was back in action. I went to my gym locker to get some things but there was the coach standing in front of my locker. She was talking to some other people next to her. I was about to say something when she asked, "So you want to play for our team?" I replied with no and just said I wanted her to move so I could get to my locker. She did and I got some things and went out to the field. I went to practice for another sport which I couldn't recognize either. It involved an american football, and the name had the word "one" in it. I'm pretty sure it was either rugby or Australian football. I never signed up to try out earlier so I was asking the coach if I could try out now. He said I couldn't so I just went, sad, to the bus stop to find a friend in waking life, who I haven't seen for around 3 years now but we're still in contact. He was the same as I last saw him in waking life, of course. He had a navy blue shirt and was just staring at me from the bus stop. I, in contrast, was about to greet him and ask him how he's been. But the bus came, number 8, and he just went in the bus and it left right before my eyes. Now, I can't remember which part of the dream comes first so I'm going to just tell you both.

I was back home. My friend was there with me. Contrary to his attitude last time, he was cheerful and was talking with me. My mother was with us as well and we were both playing. My friend suddenly went towards my mom and I felt lonely at that time. When my friend found out I was lonely, he rushed back to my side. I have a good feeling I was reverted back to my friend's age during this time as well.

The bus came back around. It was bus number 8 again. I recall a girl with long brown hair flowing, but that's the best I can describe her. At the time I was convinced that she was the friend from earlier. She stood against the doorway of the bus and threw books towards my direction. I picked them up and started skimming through some of them, and I recognized one as being about anime. There was a lot of content about a specific one, called Magi, and I was wondering why, but realized that it was a book about Magi, not anime in general. I came to tell my friend and by this time he appeared as he did before. I can't remember how he reacted.

FA - Night of the rats

Midnight. I went out of my bed and took some clothes from wardrobe. Next, I went to the kitchen and looked at shelves. They were occupied by hordes of rats. When I came closer, thay started to make squeaky noises and chased me. I ran outside through the door.

It was dark and cold. The weather was rainy. I decided to go for a walk onto a hill that's just behind my house. I got to my destination in a few seconds. When I turned around to look at my house and it's neighborhood, I saw sun going up.

I told to myself "It took me much longer to get here before." And ran towards the house. When I walked through the door, everything looked like a 3D animation. I entered the kitchen and saw my siblings sitting on chairs, and a weird man. He had burned face, and was wearing black leather cape. He looked like Freddy Krueger.

He moved to the shelves, opened them and got attacked by rats. I asked siblings "What's going on?" And my sister said "It's the night of the rats... now animated in 3D!" Then the doors opened and a girl from my class appeared.

She asked me if I can go with her to her birthday party at my neighbor's house. I told her "But I've got no shoes!" She said "Don't worry, I'll give you mine!". She gave me shoes with spike heels and we went to the neighbor's house.

At the entrance I met with her boyfriend, gave her shoes back and stayed outside with him. We talked about nothing in particular. After a while she came back with other girls from my class. I told "Oh, I've got to go now. Bye!" and went away.

When going straight the wet, cold road I heard them saying "Is he drunk?" "No. He just appeared... and went away.". I entered the kitchen and looked at the shelves, witing for rats to come.