non-lucid

12/30/14 non-lucid dreams:

*throughout the night I have recurring thoughts of RCs, but don't remember conducting one*

S asks if I've had any dreams. The room is dark. He keeps asking me and I finally snap that I was trying to reenter a dream to become lucid, but he's interrupted me. The dream I'm trying to reenter is me sitting at a table outside (maybe a cafe?) and I walk over to where W (a dog) pooped on the sidewalk and try to melt his poop with invisible energy from my hand. Before accomplishing this I "wake" up to S asking me if I've had any dreams.

Earlier...S and I are driving around looking for Publix. I have a hard time remembering/finding where it is. For some reason I pass up a lot of good parking spaces for one that isn't as good as the others. We are going to pay for things with a giant bag of fertilizer. I get the impression this is vaguely illegal and dangerous. When we get out of the car two men ask if they can have some of the fertilizer and we tell them no. We walk up to a building with our bag and enter. It looks like a shabby mom and pop bookstore, but it's actually a library/museum. There is an audio recording playing of someone talking about history. I tell S we should go. Someone (or is it a something - automaton?) implores me to stay and visit. I end up saying I don't like to listen (meaning I'm bad at absorbing info aurally). We leave and I think we then get groceries at Publix. It's for a Boxing Day party at work (totally don't celebrate this lol!). I see the director as I come out and tell hello and that I'll see her at the work party. She corrects me and says she'll see me ___ (sometime after the party since she won't be here).

Julia's walking with this teenage girl, maybe ten years younger than Julia. They're talking about concepts of 'home,' and the girl's first association is the one night she spent on the couch in Julia and Jamie's apartment. This bothers Julia a lot. The girl says something about her parents who'd died when she was young, and mimes a salute - her father had been a soldier. Julia hadn't known that before - she wonders if that was part of why the kid sort of latched onto Jamie as a father figure, and part of her reaction to his death. Disembodied, at that reference to how Jamie's death stirred up the kid's old issues, I'm thinking about how Julia's managed to bring me back from the dead just to give me something new to feel guilty about. The tone of the thought is fond, though.

A couple brief images of Jamie and the kid like snapshots - I'm in Jamie's POV. She'd been part of this group of kids I was working with, and she intimidated most of the people around her, generally angry at the world. She reminded me of somebody.

I find myself in some place which feels like a theatre, but also feels like a pub quiz. I look at two guys with empty pint glasses and wonder if they enjoyed them.

I wish to walk down an aisle, but there is a group of girls in the way - the best they could do to allow me past was to form a knee height barrier between me and the direction I wanted to go - I made a joke saying "Ah, I'll just go for the old......" referring to what the maneuver I was about to perform would be called if it had a name (e.g. "Ah, I'll just go for the old backflip then shall I?). The girls laughed, and I felt pretty good about the joke - then I performed the maneuver, grabbing the tops of the chairs on either side of me and swinging my legs back then forward, releasing my grip on the chairs to fling myself over the barrier.

Then I went down to Gregg's which was all the way down at the bottom of the theatre. I'm feeling pretty hungry so I buy a tuna roll and a sausage roll, to which the Gregg's boy says "whoa, that's a lot of meat, man!" I wonder if he's right - should I eat less meat?

Then I see my friend Robert sitting down nearby, smoking a joint. I know he works in the theatre, and I know one of his workmates has just seen him smoking and has run off to tell on him. I feel like the workmate is gay (not making fun of him, I mean I can sense he is an actual homosexual). Robert says he's annoyed because they always smoke here and don't get caught and he carries on smoking despite his imminent bollocking.

I hear people shouting and turn my head to see who it is, expecting to see Robert's colleague but instead see one of the girls from earlier shouting. At this point I realise their quiz team name was "Nuuuuh... All on the 1st date"

I was in my old high school. There was some dream-logicy explanation for this, we were taking our 'Final Final' Exams. I was trying to remember what order my classes were in from high school. (Don't feel bad, even IWL I can't figure out the order.)

I remember walking around. I saw blurry, incorrect and sometimes downright hilarious interpretations of all of my old teachers from high school.

I remember going to this one class in G wing where we were having a pizza party and people were giving presentations for their final exams. The class room had card tables rather than desks. I had a couple slices of pizza and some lemonade, and it was time for the presentation to start. The odd part was that a younger version of yourself had to give a presentation that the older version of yourself had written.

So there was a younger version of me in the classroom. Based upon height/hairstyle I would guess this was myself from late elementary school.

I think I recall some detail that this actually wasn't me from the past. It was an elementary school student who had looked me up as part of his project where he had to imitate a high school student as closely as possible. It was part of their end of the project.

I recall him having a shark tooth necklace like the one I used to wear in late elementary school.

I freaked out for a minute because I didn't have my presentation but after I looked in my backpack I found a couple sheets of typed paper. I handed that to my past self and he started presenting. I can't recall any of what he said, but the teacher seemed to like it and was smiling.

...

I somehow wound up outside the school, but the school was floating in space and the exterior was covered in gray metal paneling. Running down the side of the building were hundreds of these little experiment canisters that I had to open. When I opened them, a prompt would come up saying. 'You feel like you had better not let anyone else see this data...'

Also, I wasn't wearing a space suit and questioned how I was not dead/dying in the vacuum of space. There wasn't really an explanation for it.

As I was opening them a green bar was filling up. When it got to the top (after opening about a dozen of the canisters) a space shuttle appeared and I found myself in the pilot's seat.

I somehow knew that I was descending and I strapped myself in to the chair. I started to hit the atmosphere and the space shuttle heated up. I wish I recalled this part better. I was coming down over a cloudy patch and I wouldn't know what I was going to see until after I got through the clouds.

I then saw that it was a road not too far outside of my hometown. I somehow managed to get the landing gear down, and when I touched down on the road actually rather smoothly. But I couldn't figure out how to stop. Plus there were a bunch of cars on the road and I was running them over.

I started to get lucid at this point, because even though I was probably killing dozens of people, I didn't really feel like that mattered. Eventually the landing gear broke off, and the shuttle started sliding down the road on its belly. It eventually came to a stop, but I had no idea where I was. Some subdivision with large trees and small houses, but I didn't recognize it from anywhere in my hometown.

I opened the hatch and hopped down onto the street. I was lucid now, but I got the dream ending feeling. I tried to hang on with a little dream stabilization, but I didn't get much time before waking up.

Crisis and sleeping in wardrobe

I was in my home. It was during the great crisis. Government have sent a message to citizens, that there can be no more than three persons in home. My family told me to hide in the wardrobe, and they won't find me there. I tried to sleep, but I couldn't. My youngr sister came. She tried to hide with me, but I told her to get lost. She went to mother, and told her that I'm drunk and rude. Mother came to me. I told her that I'm not drunk. She told me that government overcame the crisis, and I can sleep in my bed again.

DILD - the friendly wolf

I was outside my home, tidying our barn. Then I saw a wolf. It was angry, and barked at me.
I become lucid, and started whistling to the wolf. Then I told Why are you so aggresive? Confused wolf replied I am a wolf! What I'm supposed to do? I told Of course you are a wolf.... The wolf attacked me before I fully replied. Then I shouted You are a wolf, but kind and polite one! The wolf stopped barking, or trying to bite me. It replied Oh, I'm sorry about that, friend.
I wanted to go somewhere with my new friend, but I lost my lucidity, and another non-lucid dream started.

Detective haunted by nightmares

It was in 1923. I was a private detective. I drove to the great metropoly by train. I went out of train. My client told me to search for some bodies in the sewers. I wanted to go to the city instead. I walked from the train station pavement to the cobbled road. Suddenly I heard moaning and screams. I went on, a little frightened by the voices. Then I heard a gravely voice telling me Go straight that way.. I have moved back, but I overcame fear and went on. I felt stron pain in my chest, and my body was more and more numb. Then, I have reached a chapel, and all the voices ended.

DILD - being a security camera

I was back in primary school. I made an RC and become lucid. I saw a security camera hanging from the ceiling. I went to it, jumped and hanged from it. I pushed myself into the camera, and become one with it. I sensed someone close. I turned right, and saw a confused man looking at me. While turning, I felt like my whole body was streched. I haven't seen any camera effects while being one, my vision was the same all the time. I tried to stop being a camera. At first I couldn't change back, but I focused and went out.
I went straight the corridor, and lost lucidity. I woke up.

At the McKittrick Hotel, I ran an errand for Hecate, and in return she's granting me access to a certain flight of stairs. I hand her written note to this effect to the doorman, and he removes the rope blocking off the stairs. He looks bored. He warns me that the things I'll see up there are just ghosts, so don't take any of it too seriously. I tell him I know. I'm still looking forward to seeing something new.

At the top of the stairs, everything is airy and bright, and there's the dead body of a soldier in dress uniform sitting against the railing that overlooks the ballroom, arms spread and head dangling forward in a way that reminds me of a scarecrow. His name's Jeremy. A woman in white walks up to him - there's something careless about her. Jeremy gets up from the railing, and they begin to dance through the rooms of the hotel. There's no music.

December 29, 2014

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Had a pretty long dream, but I didn't write it down or think too much about it (or anything, really) when I woke up, so I can't recall much of anything from it. Zukin was there, and we were on a mountain or in some forest, but I can't remember exactly what we were doing. It was probably shenanigans :)


Hoping for some lucidity tonight or next night so as I can keep my wingses. Let's see if tonight is the night. I have a really good feeling about it for some reason :)

12/10/2014
"Highway Risque"

Hanging out in DeLand, mid-day, with BR and L. We had gone to a bar. The only thing I really remember about being in the bar is that some belligerent (presumably drunk) girl started mouthing off to us and telling us to be quiet, even though we were among the quietest groups in the bar. We just exchanged "WTF?" glances and brushed her off.

Later that night, we were driving up the highway, when we saw a commotion up ahead. The light dose of traffic had snarled as there was another, random girl walking along the ledge of the overpass, looking down at the highway below her. She was also completely disrobed. She began to do some daredevil acrobatics on the ledge, stretching up into a handstand which looked like she could topple down to the street at any moment. There were times where she stumbled and flailed to catch her balance, but she never fell.

Soon, she climbed down the stone pillar and to our level, then moved through the crowd, seducing random guys as she passed. From nowhere, it seemed, a girlfriend of hers appeared and began to join her in making their rounds from guy to guy, entrancing them with lustful gestures. The crowd was gathering, and everyone was chomping at the bit at these two girls. Then, another friend of mine, P, pushed his way through the crowd and brazenly stepped up, took first girl and began making out with her. I remember this pissing me off, because I knew my friend was in a committed relationship.

I woke up immediately after this.

12/29/14 non-lucid dreams:

Earlier I got the distinct impression I missed out on a RC and was disappointed/frustrated. Did not wake up to write down any details.

I'm going for a walk in a very new subdivision with nice sidewalks (quintessential suburbia). I need to cross the street, but it's full of water from recent rain. I'm wearing my 5 finger toe shoes and they start to get wet (one of my real anxieties). On my way back I overhear a guy saying he's going to find J from dancing and go shop at Whole Foods (which does not actually exist where I live). I run ahead to find J and demand he go shop with me. I also see Pat from work. For some reason I call them both Pat and say I'm shopping with the Pats. Then I'm sitting in the store dining area with other people. Someone's daughter wants a candy/cookie she had had before. It's like a waffle cone bowl except it has licorice flavor in it. I look it up on my phone (excellent time to do a RC, but didn't!!) and it's actually slightly burnt which gives it that licorice flavor. I ask the girl's dad if we can find it and buy it in the store; he says yes.

Earlier...something about a guy taking the fall for something he didn't do and serving time in prison for 20 years. He's ok with this and R greets him when he gets out. This dream is from a 3rd person perspective (a majority of my dreams are first person).

Dream signs: anxiety, coworker, 3rd person perspective

12/28/14 Non-lucid dreams:

PM has been trying not to stay the night in LB when she gets off work. What ends up happening is that BM sees how difficult it is on her and agrees they can move to LB and try to rent out their old place. They end up moving into a house with M (does not occur to me in the dream this is not where M lives!) and demanding she get rid of J (the cat they gave her in real life) because of the baby arriving soon. I think this is unreasonable to get rid of a cat for a baby. I don't seem to be an active participant in this dream, more like a 3rd person omniscient who sees and knows everything.

Earlier...I am interacting with a French family: a man, his wife, their son, and his mother in law. The MIL drives by and says fur in French (not sure if I even know what word that is) and then "bye-bye!". I get the impression she is commenting on my unfashionable-ness and inviting me to leave. I ask the man to repeat what fur is in French and he does, but I can't seem to grasp the word or hold onto its sound. I'm usually very good at picking up words and sounds in Romance languages so this is frustrating. I ask ",But isn't "eau" fur?" and then "oh wait, that's water like eau de toilette." We were all standing outside the house and so I make to leave.
Something about papier mache fruis and greeting cards...
Then the wife and I are alone and she's trying to engage me in sex.

Dream signs: sexy time, feeling anxious, not being able to say/hear words well

12.29.14

Last night bed 10ish - 8:30ish

Woke up few times last night, recalling dreams, and retelling them each time so I imprint them on waking life memory.

DR1

I'm traveling in a tour bus on a busy street in Bangkok. Side streets are rather narrow, full of small shops and people. Another large bus drives up along our and comes very close. It's red and I'm thinking that it will sideswipe us. In a few seconds it sure does. Comes even closer and sideswipes us.

Now I get a 3. person view from behind and above. I see the other bus pushing ours to the left and onto another sidestreet. I'm thinking "I hope that's not the one with river in the middle of it" and I have a feeling I have walked those streets before, that's how I know. And yes, as I see the bus being pushed to the sidestreet, now I have persepective both from the bus and from 3.person view, I see the river in concrete banks and my bus is on the sidewalk next to the river, still traveling.

I'm telling people to get ready for emergency exit, in case we get into the water. I see an axe type of a tool hanging above the left window and I look to the right if I see another one there, and I do. I point them out to others to use them to break the windows if we need to.

Now we have stopped. Someone is pushing the emergency door to open in the back of the bus - like on school busses. It doesn't budge so I kick it open. We get out.


DR2

I'm with others out in the fields. We can see a city in the distance. It's San Franciso. I tell someone to go for a jog with me to the city. My eyes zoom in and follow a dirt path along the field and a river to the bridge and to the city.

This dream is from a couple of weeks ago. I have been writing down dreams on paper, but not getting them online.




Last night's dream is a good example of how my brain attempted to hand lucidity to me on a golden platter, yet I ignored it every time. I completely missed each and every dream sign.

So here is the dream.

I was sitting in a Japanese restaurant. I suddenly look up and see Tom DeLonge walk in with a couple of other guys. They go to the front and sit at the bar. This alone is a dream sign, since I have met Tom many times in dreams but not in real life. But instead of questioning my reality my mind starts thinking of ways I can go talk to Tom without coming across like an overly enthusiastic fan. I can't come up with anything. But I do notice the restroom was just beyond where he is sitting. So I get up and head to the bathroom hoping that something will happen. But I pass Tom, and there is no eye contact, and I didn't want to just tap him on his shoulder.

Once in the restroom I look in the mirror. To my horror, I see that I hadn't freshened up since my workout. My hair is still sweaty and I have no make up. Furthermore, there is some weird white powder all over my face and hair. This was a double dream sign. I often have strange reflections in dream mirrors. And I also often find myself looking terrible in dreams right when I want to meet someone on whom I want to make a good impression. But again, I miss it completely and just think about how thankful I was that I didn't get Tom's attention. I take a few minutes trying to look better, then go out and again pass Tom uneventfully.

Before anything else can happen, Tom and his friends leave. I also head out the back door and try to think of a way to meet them outside. I see a truck slowly passing with him in it. Since this is my last chance I decide to be bold and step out to the truck. It stops, and I look inside. The driver is a guy. Tom is seated next to him, and there are two girls on the other side of Tom. I said something like "So sorry to bother you guys, but I just wanted to say hi and shake hands with Tom. And I reach my hand in the truck. Tom is looking down and is motionless. But one of the girls grabs my hand and start to lick it. She says, "Mmmm...it's salty," Instead of thinking that this was too strange for reality, I just think, "Well, yeah, I was just working out. I guess it's sweaty." Then the other girl grabs my hand and licks it too. All the while Tom is sitting there seemingly passed out. And finally the dreams ends. And I missed all the chances I had to become lucid with Tom right there in front of me.

Riding my bicycle along a road, it begins to get steeper and steeper. There are other people also on bicycles who had to stop and walk their bikes. I even see a few cars that are unable to climb the hill. It's so steep, that it's hard to walk up. I'm in a higher gear, but the hill came on so fast that I am unable to downshift as quickly as I would like, and just muscle through it for a few pedal strokes as the bike downshifts. People tell me I can't make it, but I believe I can. My legs feel like they are on fire, as they shake with all my energy going into each pedal stroke. I'm still not in the lowest gear, but I know that if I downshift, I will lose all my momentum and that will be the end of it for me. So I push on, letting my legs burn, shake, and otherwise crank the pedals in each revolution. As the hill gets even steeper, I push even harder - beyond where I thought my maximum limit existed. I even start to gain some speed as the hill gets steeper. It's like my legs are growing stronger the more I push myself. Passing beyond everyone, I feel happy that I didn't give up when no one else believed in me.

I take this dream as encouragement to always believe in myself and give life everything I've got, no matter how things look to others, and even no matter how hopeless things may look to me.

NA

I was in what appeared to be a particularly bland examination room; everything was white or silver, and there was no decor in sight. I was aware that I was there under false pretenses; my brother and father and I had been tricked into a high-security facility that experimented on its involuntary patients. I found the door to be unlocked, and made my way down a maze of identical white hallways littered with medical equipment. Countless doors undoubtedly led to countless more examination rooms, two of which contained my family members, and dozens of white doctors with light-colored hair and long white coats bustled about, ignoring me entirely.

I managed to find my younger brother in one of the rooms. Despite the labyrinthine layout of the facility, I was able to instinctively move in the right direction. Will and I then searched together for my father, who we found to be looking more than his age, and sickly. He was still able to keep up as we all began our escape.

We quickly found ourselves in a new section of the building, where the amount of staff around us multiplied and closed doors were replaced by glass looking into large, near-empty rooms, most containing a single table with an unconscious individual lying upon it. Many doctors were observing these rooms, occasionally looking down to scribble notes on a clipboard.

The increased number of staff combined with the suspicious appearance of our group prompted us to look for disguises. We found a sort of locker room with hangers covering the walls, a few of which held lab coats. We each donned one before continuing onward, but mine had many tiny buttons, and I found myself left behind as I struggled to fasten them. I ran to catch up.

Time skipped ahead and I found myself in a woodsy area, supposedly the grounds of the facility we were escaping. My family was nowhere in sight, but I assumed them to be safe. I was more concerned with the battle going on around me: many young adults were struggling to fend off otherworldly creatures as they, too, tried desperately to escape. I recall in particular a giant spider - think Aragog - pinning a man to the ground as he cried out for help. Many of these people seemed to know me, and I them, for we called out to each other with updates on the situation. I was told to make a run for it, and ran over a small hill covered with fallen leaves, landing in a shallow ditch. I was confronted by only a small, metal chain fence, easily climbed over. Before I could attempt to do so, however, I found myself awake.