non-lucid

Dream - Lucid

I was going to take my brother's friend, Tyler, home; he needed a ride. I really wanted it to go quickly so I could go home to the house I grew up in and smoke the little bit of weed I had left. I thought about my sobriety, but had previously already blown it, so what did it matter? I was planning on when to smoke it.

I then was on my way home. Someone was with me, but it wasn't Tyler. Crap. I then realized I had forgotten all about him.

I then was walking on the street and saw all these spider birds; they literally looked like different crosses between spiders and birds. They weren't all in the same area, but scattered about. I remember a black one with a spider's body and a bird's head. There were others, but I can't remember the details.

I then saw Tyler's dad. He was doing something with a dog and a cat, which were apparently his/his family's. I went to pet the dog, and it bit my arm. He scolded the dog for doing so. I wanted to pet the cat too, which was a cream-colored, short haired cat with greyish tips on its ears and tail, but I don't remember if I did or not.

There was something about a video game in here as well, some sort of quest/adventure game for the PC. You'd visit different places on the map. There was one that just got unlocked where you went and got $7000. I got it, and it was like I actually had $7000 in real life. I was thinking about how to tell Dallas and what we could do with the money.

*So this was a dream from a 3 hour nap, but of course felt long. As a background i'm a heavy napper, and dream extremely vividly the moment my head hits the pillow. I will start to dream as I doze off as well if i'm tired, or start hearing part of my dreams. I have no control over my dreams, I can never fly, or breathe under water. They are simply as real life is but much more interesting and include odd places and things that don't exist. I have no idea why. I am also extremely honest and social in dreams which is different from real life. My feelings don't get hurt as easily.*

I met a yellow male fairy, maybe about the size of a cat, I was told by my dad to get to know him. We were sleeping next to each other and my dad got so angry, but the fairy wasn’t human, and it wasn’t weird. I said “I knew he would get mad, he gets mad every time” and me and my dad got in a fight (me and my dad don’t really get along in real life)

Next flash. is I was ready to die, I was writing on my friends computer real fast saying “you did a good job, …. etc” it was a room with several computers and a desk near on the side from where I was sitting. If you walk the opposite way next to the desk you could leave the room. I decided not to kill myself after all, but I was going to congratulate her on being the last person I write too, but I decided not to. As I was waiting for her to see it she walked back into the room with black pearls around her neck and other such things because she became famous I guess. (this has to do with someone singing better than me in real life in a competition and that was her a few days ago)

Another flash. We were in this underground room, me and a friend I knew well, it seems like my childhood best friend but then again it didn’t. There were snakes coming out from everywhere. Out of the ceiling, out of the cracks the floors, and I was trying to avoid them. But I saw them such as you would in a movie, from one flash of a snake to the other. eventually I would jump around and swing around as much so I just let one bite me. They didn’t scare me, I just didn’t want to get bit.

Next flash. I was eating ice cubes from this icecube holder on this counter with this large room with two seperate groups of people, and stairs that go down the middle. from this large section of people. I looked at the ice cubes and they weren’t normal ice cubes, they were pretty like glass and they had a lemon seed in them and something else. I had eaten something that made my mouth burn, and I was trying to make it go away. I was spitting places such as the towel behind the picture frame hung up where the stair move down. I was hoping nobody saw me, but the last time I tried spitting in my dream since I did it more then once to get the taste to go away, I spit in real life and that’s what woke me up.

Next flash. My friend had my mini scissors that I haven’t been able to find and that I was looking for in real life today, I take them and she gets offended. I wasn’t mad but she said something along the lines of “well that flute was so expensive anyway so” and from that dream I remembered a false memory that was given to me in the dream of me giving her a flute she bought me back, I got a mental picture of it in my dream, and I had made a light hearted clever joke back to her comment about these fancy scissors I have in real life even though she was defensive.

Another flash. I was down by these booths and shops in the same place, there was this one with a lady that in my dream I remembered from before. I got there right as it was closing and she pulled down the metal to cover her booth right as I was about to look and buy something.

-I don’t really remember colors of walls or carpets.
-I don’t remember the people really. They were just details such as there is in real life.

These are only a few of the parts I remember. They all led into each other. I don’t remember the transitions or the other several places I went and things that happened besides these.

Black: Non-dream
Blue: Non-lucid
Red: Lucid

Quite a restless night attempting SSILD for the 4th night in a row. I recalled only 1 dream, the others vanished upon waking up because I felt exhausted by efforts to do SSILD over the past few days (insomnia keeps kicking in and keep me awake when I'm trying to fall asleep after a WBTB).

Dream 1 - The Dwarven Adventure
Note: I was unconvinced that I had even had this dream, since I believed I had been in my bed and just 'thinking' about the dream occurring - like I was still trying to drift off to sleep. I've never had an experience like this, in fact I've had a few oddities occur as a result of trying the SSILD technique.

I am with my close friend + flatmate M, he's on a skateboard and I'm on a tray-like trolley rolling along the ground. We're on a narrow pathway next to a road, there are the typical green trees of my NZ home-village scenery. We roll a long with him in the lead, he sucks at skateboarding and is trying to learn, he keeps trying to maintain his balance while moving slowly, he rolls downhill a bit and steadies himself. At some point the dream seems to have progressed again, I realize I am a Dwarf now and my friend has left somewhere, I'm still on my trolley thing rolling around. I'm confronted by a fellow Dwarf who tells me that I'm only 1 of 4 Dwarves that exist on the surface world, the rest had all returned to the mountain halls to live. He also has a trolley-tray thing, that seems to be the common mode of transportation for Dwarves, I shan't question it. Both me and the other Dwarf were old and bearded, very similar to LOTR Dwarves. Anyways, we decide that we should unite the last of the surface Dwarves and travel back to join our fellow brethren within the mountains. We encounter another bearded Dwarf after an incredibly and unquestionably short amount of time, he is old like us, and a little bit crazy looking. We tell him of what we're doing, and for some reason we have to hurry and leave, we're about to get chased. The first Dwarf decides he will stay behind, he can't come with us because he won't make it, the second Dwarf jumps off of his trolley and onto a lever, then smiles crazily and goes 'oopsy' (he seemed to be working for the people that were about to start chasing us in order to pay off some debt, but he broke the rules and pulled the lever). The lever releases a huge trolley roughly 5mx5mx1m, I roll onto it and turn around, the second Dwarf jumps back onto his trolley and rolls his way swiftly onto the large trolley, and then in an inspiring moment the first Dwarf makes an effort to join us, making it in the last second before the big trolley zoomed off down a wide track.

Phew, safe, the bad guys slip from our minds at this point. The track we're on is like a really wide BMX track in the woods, we zoom off down this track. One of the Dwarves jump off and starts riding his own trolley in front of us, he zooms ahead and occasionally burrows through the ground, then shoots out of a nearby wall and back onto the track. These Dwarves are master diggers or something. We stop after a while to get the last Dwarf. This Dwarf is way younger, and tall like a human, he looks exactly like Will Smith. We convinced him to push us on the large tray-trolley, I sit at the front and pull out a pipe and start smoking it Bilbo Baggins style. I crack a few random jokes about the trolley being a dragon and the smoke I'm breathing being its breath, in retrospect this made no sense -.-... At some point the dream jumps again, I'm the usual old me and I'm skyping my gf, but I feel that somehow it was a coherent transition from the Dwarf adventure.

We skype and her two friends are with her, they're both blonde and one has a few piercings. They apparently have a couple monkeys, this part felt quite vivid when it comes to the monkeys - they seemed so lifelike when I 'woke up' (remember the note) that it spurred me to realize that I HAD been dreaming after all. The conversation with them goes on for a few minutes, but I get the feeling it felt longer than it actually was. They point the camera feed towards the monkeys that are having an argument, one is about 20 inches tall, the other about 30inches. The big one is telling the little one off for dressing up in a pink apron, the little one turns around for the big one to take it off (kind of like a parent telling it's kid off) and it rolls its eyes and its tongue hangs from its mouth lazily, it sighs in annoyance at its fellow monkey.

Somehow my gf is next to me now, she is leaning towards the computer and makes a remark about my room "Ugh what's that smell, it smells like duck shit". To which I respond "I don't know, who cares, maybe a duck came in here and took a shit?" *nonchalant look on my face*
Coincidentally, a duck waddles across my desk all of a sudden, it nips my arm and I try to grab it, then it flutters around frantically as I hold it in my left hand. It then flutters at me in defense, it nips my neck which I feel really intensely. I wake up in an intense spasm, my head pressed against my left shoulder.

It all started in a car. It was a red renault 5 i was driving with my friend ojki. And I starred at the window wipers. I was amazed. Waaw.. i have never seen a wiper cleaning a window like that before, everything was so clear. And then my friend said.. we must hurry because they guys on the radio said that a torando is aproaching. We looked at the sky far away in front of us, and we saw a big mass coming our way. And on the right side of this superevil cloud there were small lightnings. It started to rain. And we were near a river. There was an radio tv transmiter antena.. like 50m high. it was in red and white. And because of the weather forecast they were putting it down. It was like a lift bridge. the antena just went down on 90 degrees angle over the river and locked itself. So it looked like a bridge. And when it was all the way down.. my shirt was stuck between the antenna and its holder. I said great and pulled with great force.. i did save the shirt.
Then we drove further and we stopped at some house. now there were 3 of us. We went into the house like we were swat team. I heard something in my ear.. because apperantly i had headphones on my head.. and there was chief comander speaking.. that this should be no problem for us.. because we should know this house till now. Ok i said.. i guess they know what they are doing. Then i tore down a door. And there were lots of people in that room. I pointed my gun at one of the guys. It was a double barrel shotgun. But i thought it was a machine gun. I said everybody stand up.. and face against the wall with your hands up. One of them didnt want to listen. He was walking towards me, and i shot him in the leg.. ratatatat.. so it is a machinegun i said to myself. Now everybody was standing as I said.. but they were hidding behind a curtain.. but all of them were facing the wall with their hands up. I told them, they should stop hiding before the next one will get hurt. And they didnt listen again. I tried to shoot the next one.. and my sound from rifle was just.. click..click. shit.. it is empty.. i ran out of the room, into another one.. where my boss was located, it was a she. I approached her with such anger inside. I screamed at her.. what is wrong with them.. i have no backup.. no ammo left.. give me a gun. .or ammo, beacuse i will shoot everyone down there. and she refused. she said im not in the mood now. And she has pissed me more.. WHAT!!! you are too lazy? Ok then.. i hope they come up here and shoot you .. you lazy bitch! those were the exact words i said to her. And then these guys really come in.. but they were appologizing for what they have done. We all left the building together and a party begins. We were pouring wine from big canisters. 20l. And then i said to my friend.. well i think it is better that we leave now.. because we should not drink more if we want to drive home.. and we left...

(Yesterday.)

I'm a man trying to calm a situation down so that I won't wind up in a cell. It would be for a minor charge, but my situation's complicated. There's this woman I made a deal with a long time ago - I brought her to this world ('this world' is for all intents and purposes the same as IRL), and she freed me from the curse that had locked me up back in our own world. But there's a catch - if I'm locked up in a cell even for one night, that old curse will find me again, I'll be trapped again. I think of that as her 'winning' - we help each other often but I don't like her much. I'm afraid of being trapped, but I'm also afraid because if I'm trapped I won't be able to keep up the illusion that makes me look human.

(Today.)

A woman and I had been standing in the middle of a road surrounded by trees, discussing something - a car comes, the driver sees us, he swerves, he crashes. I'm irritated at the interruption, but I go over to the car so I can get a meal out of this before emergency services arrives. The scene changes abruptly - one moment I'm walking towards the car, the next moment time has passed, emergency services have already come and there's a crowd of people around. The woman and I leave and transform into a cloud of bats. In all my vampire dreams this has never happened before, and I pause to enjoy the novelty and absurdity. My perception's different. The sky is a brilliant saturated blue with something shimmering about it, and the air gives me the impression of containing new angles, like unseen tunnels.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I and a group of other people, all of us foreigners in this place, had been talking to a group of women on a small 'island' - just a heap of stones really. We're very frustrated. We're trying to get them to do something for their own good, and they're not cooperating. They end negotiations and vanish into thin air.

Still as the POV character from that last scene, I'm walking around the grounds of some large estate on a hill, with a gated entrance visible not too far away. I'm speaking to a woman all in pale gold - everything's pale gold, her robes, her hair, her skin, the mask that she wears that covers her whole face something like a welder's mask, only revealing one eye. She has her own issues with the people from that 'island' - she's saying they're against her and her plan simply because of her mental illness. She resents them.

I'm sitting on a wooden throne and talking to a man who's going through a bout of existential despair, and he's asking me about coping with vast spaces of time, with immortality - how do you do it? I find this hilariously awful - you're asking me?

I was in a special room with two guys I don't know. We were talking about how we could fall asleep. All of us started suggesting things until one guy took out a piece of gum with a smiley face. He told me to chew on it and it will make me fall asleep quick. I said okay and ate it but the other guy was complaining about me taking it. The other guy who gave me the gum told him to shut up and pulled me into a relaxed position so I could fall asleep better. For a second I felt I was knocked out by the gum and we got excited that it worked so well. We than separated and I started talking to my family. My mom was telling me she was really mad because someone stole her plants in her garden.(We don't have a garden in WL) I told her to calm down because I will help her find the culprits. As we walked we ran into neighbors(We don't talk to them) and the lady started talking about how she had a weird dream last night. She was upset about something in it and said she felt like something was amiss in it. I than told them there are times where you can be lucid, aware that your dreaming, semi lucid and non lucid. They interrupted me though and started talking about something else about dreams. After that the dream became really vivid and it felt even realer. I walked for a bit and a peppy little girl came up to me and said she wanted to talk about dreams with me. She bragged about how she succeeded in three share dreaming attempts and was wondering if I wanted to try it. I said no though cause I didn't want a stranger invading my mind. She said ok but if I could pick up her favorite music CD that helps her fall asleep to the sleepover. I said no cause I didn't want to have a sleepover with her but she insisted and kept begging me so I said okay. I went to the other room and started looking for them but than noticed my other cousins and brothers were going to play a game. They were also looking for headphones with a microphone so I asked if the one I found was theirs. They said no so I just walked into the room where they were going to play and started playing with a rubber band. The rubberbands's texture was so real that I was surprised when I woke up. I was even thinking what if the little girl is actually a real person that invaded my dreamscape three times.Haha But that can't be true....Or is it? O.o lol jk

10.10.2014

I become a ghostly witch and hold The Mask to put it on. (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This dream started when I was at a huge hall. The room was pretty much empty but there was some carpeting and a few wooden tables on the corner. Apparently, a party was going to take place and I wanted to have the ultimate party experience. On a white table in a corner there were a few magic items that belonged to me and to other people. I went to grab a few things for this party. There was a guy who was monitoring these items so I only grabbed what belonged to me. I grabbed a small round green sphere, that looked like a palantir, another one that was like the screen of lamp (but all blue) as well as the mask from the movie, The Mask.











I decided to combine a few of these. I was aware of the huge magic potential of these items so I informed the guy that these all were mine and i proved him showing this items that they started to react within my hands. The mask suddenly had that green shinny effect from the movie and the palantir started to become bright. The blue lamp screen was vibrating so he said that i was alright and I was noticed to have fun.

I took a walk outside holding this items and I donated a few quarters to some homeless guy who was sitting outside this building. I also noticed it was night. Upon him thanking me I went back into this place and I blended my energy with the Palantir. This turned me into a witch, a really hideous witch. I also used the blue lamp screen and this gave me ghostly powers, I stopped being corporeal to become ethereal, but I was still seen and everything.

I planned to put on my mask later and just go nuts, but I wanted to help some people first since I had magic. There was some guy that needed help because he was broke, so I hanged my mask on my belt and followed him. I asked him if he could grab my cell phone and taking a few pictures of me in my ghostly witch form, but for some reason, he was unable to make my phone work.

We went upstairs and some kid was following me. He tried to reach out the mask, but I told him to stop it and avoid touching it. We went to some sort of deck that also was connected with a street. I saw another homeless and I tried to spawn some cash for him without much success.

The guy told me that he needed money to buy more tanks of gas. Apparently, he was storing gas to sell it afterwards. I visualized bundles of cash to spanw and a few stacks appeared:







But it was not enough and I was unable to make more spawn, but I succeeded at spawning some major tanks with gas on them and he was thrilled I could help.

Feeling great about my good actions, I decided to put the mask on, so I went downstairs to join the party and go nuts, but my alarm clock woke me up from this dream.

I dreamed of a bird with blue feathers, three black "hairs" and white chest and belly area. It has a long, blue tail. It was on a branch.

I dreamed I was married to a woman. I didn't experience the marriage. I was just walking on a street and suddenly thought of it.

Before walking on the street, I was inside a house eating a meal or soup. An uncle told me to accompany him/them. I told them I was eating, but he gave me a look which looked... I'm not sure. Dead? He frowned and then kind of just stood there, then left. Somehow, I remembered something: I was staying in their place. I quickly slurped the soup/food and went with them. We were walking on the road when I thought that I married someone, and they forced me to marry the woman, whoever she is. A cousin, I think. She never appeared in this dream.

I thought we were going to take one of their cars, but when we walked outside and in a corner, I saw them ride a jeep. I was surprised so I wasn't able to get in with them, and the jeep sped off. I just shrugged and thought I'd walk to wherever they were going. My sister appeared by my said and we talked while walking to the venue. I think she was in the house as well, but not sure.

We arrived at a place. Not sure if it was the place we were supposed to go. It has a nice garden or mini-forest around it, with trees and flowers and herbs. We went inside. It's a theater and there was a play. And a dog. Not sure how the dog fits in.

NOTE:

This was yesterday's dream. I didn't get to write it until now.
I've been meditating before and after sleeping.
I'm still working on the Dream Yoga book.

im going to see if trying to remember last nights dream before going to bed helps with recall alright i dremt carolina was naked on my lap and we were having sex. it was weird though because Sam crz was giving me head before that. i was like nooo noo you cant do this infront of people.

haha
also worked in some establishment. i was with matt j and we

10.10.14

Last night bed 7:45 - 10pm, 12am-4:40

DR at 10pm

I'm in a long office building. I push a wrong button or done something wrong and big earthquake starts. I yell: "Stop hurting the innocent"! and immediatelly realizing, there probably is not a single innocent person in entire building.

Two of us walk to the stairwell door and peek inside. We have a feeling, building is waiting for us to start evacuating that way before turning itself vertical, so the starwell would become a death trap and we would all be in a vertical shaft falling down. So we are not gonna go that way.

All of these dreams flowed together somehow:

I recall watching some rendition of the first season of Avatar: The Last Airbender, and if you can actually comprehend this; It was actually worse than the live action movie. It looked like a school play or something. In fact, I sort of felt like I was in my old middle school.
The kid playing Aang kept forgetting his lines, and he (I'm not kidding here) had flash cards that he read from to keep going.
The only part that I recall very clearly was the very ending, where they were at the southern water tribe. The actors playing Katara and Sokka were holding up these big bowls of water to celebrate the water tribe and Aang was standing in the middle.
There were some people water-bending in the background, and their waterbending looked very fake.
...
Long story short:

...
I was having a dream about some music store. It feels like this one gas station in my town though. The clerk had recently been murdered and me and another male DC were looking around for clues to his death.
I began finding all of these weighted discs, like you might use on a bench press in a gym. They were in all of these random places like one is taking the place of a record on the wall. There is one underneath a stack of tapes.
For some reason, one of the discs has been eaten and has a bunch of bite marks out of it. The DC says this looks like a crescent moon the way its been eaten and that this is a clue to the murder of the man who ran the store.
...
I became lucid at some point or other and found myself in a pumpkin patch. I falsely remembered the lucid task was to open a box, rather than a pumpkin and see what was inside. A big cardboard box manifested in my hand. I opened it and it was full of washrags, bandannas and a couple T-shirts. Some of them looked familiar, some didn't.
Can I get wings for this?
I thought that I had that out of the way. I would later be kicking myself when I woke up.
I recall walking around in somewhere. The pumpkin patch was next to some kind of art fair. (And boy, wouldn't this be an interesting thing to make into a TOTM for?) I begin observing the dream art. The thing I recall most were some banner-like works with these really intricate weaves.
I then think of the advanced TOTM; I need to face my biggest fear.
"I want to face my biggest fear right now!"
All of the sudden, the sky darkens, it starts raining and the art fair distorts and takes me back to my own subdivision. I am then there for a few moments. I see a huge storm cloud in the sky, bubbling and churning. I am happy because I know this means my fear is coming...
Then that fades two seeing people's faces cycling through really fast.
All of the faces are drawn in shades of red with a blue background and have all-white eyes. I recall one of the faces being that of Professor Penguinstein, a DC I dreamed about two nights ago. They begin to cycle through faster and faster until they become unrecognizable and eventually blend together into a skull with white eyes. Normally, I would have been scared, but knowing that I was dreaming, I stood in the face of the fear. To be honest, I was actually quite confused about what the dream was telling me. Why was it going through all these faces and making a skull? What is fear is this? This isn't really that scary. I could feel myself waking up, and tried to hang on to see what would happen next.
I woke up.
I tried to WBTB, but the dream it yielded wasn't lucid.
I had a dream I was trying out of the security crew at my college. I was supposed to be going to the tryout when I noticed somebody left their car unlocked. I thought they might be one of the workers giving me some kind of test, so I let them know. They thanked me.
I kept on seeing other things and preforming good deeds and I thought that I had caught on to the idea that these were all secret tests put into action by the campus security. I broke up a fight, called up the groundskeeper when I saw a sprinkler had broken, prevented a traffic accident, helped a disabled person up some stairs, you name it.
Then the campus security guy texted me and called me a 'lazy asshole' for not coming to the meeting.
I texted back saying that I didn't want to be a part of the security anyway, and couldn't remember why I signed up in the first place, (reality check, nudge, nudge) and instead went into the athletics building and went swimming. I recall navigating to the locker room, putting on my suit, and going to the hot tub.

What if my biggest fear was actually this last dream. DUN DUN DUN!!! (JK)

An OK but not outstanding, medium recall night, definitely "present" moments

+ I am putting on a glove, I feel a small object is in one of the glove fingers, I take off the glove and dig in to pull out the object, I take it out and it is like an elongated double-acorn (like 2 acorns joined at the bottom, behold my awesome image editing skills):

This is some "world seed" of immense importance.
There were two walrus super beings but now there's only one. I'm sobbing that I've made a mistake. I'm lying across the expansive back of the walrus god. It is very understanding, and said that the decision to make the object in the form of a seed makes things ... and I finish his sentence "complicated?" He says yes.

+ I'm in a gym working out. I'm on a piece of equipment that works the pecs (chest). It's a sliding platform with my back against the wall, it's in a small-medium work out hall. This machine works with your own weight as you're moving your body on the sliding platform. In the relaxed position the platform is more forwards, and as you bring your hands together holding the cables the platform moves backwards towards the wall and your body weight provides the resistance. I'm grunting long and loudly as I reach the peak of each rep. I do several reps like this and I notice a guy on the right-hand wall sort of smirking at me, I try to reduce my grunt sounds a bit.

I'm in (another?) room, I'm thinking about the ideal exercise equipment apparatus, it is a small tower, 4-sided of tall chrome bars, where people can hang and stretch at whatever height/position they want to.

Across a room a hot girl is doing fast repetitions of an exercise while hanging from one of these work out towers at about head height, her body is horizontal parallel to the floor with her back down, her feet are slightly elevated, yet her shirt is billowing up ("hanging down" but against gravity) more and more, her cleavage is visible at first, then her entire torso down to her upper legs, I'm checking her out.

On another structure a naked hot girl with black/dark hair (everywhere [in the normal places] ) is working out *really hard*, she finishes her exercises, and her workout companion (another girl) gives her a good, solid lick in the v-jay. I walk over to her, she's now resting from the intense effort hanging upside down with her arms reaching towards the floor, and I say "well done!". Her sweat is running off of her in streams like thick rain, some of it gets on me, she has dark armpit hair.

+ I'm in a room, I have to be somewhere (at 2pm?), is it morning, is it afternoon? I can't tell, I look at my digital watch, the time keeps changing, the am/pm keeps changing, WTF TIME IS IT? I try to "feel" how tired I am to see if I have slept or not. (This went on for about a solid minute) (and I *missed* it) (ಠ_ಠ)

+ I leave a room and enter a sort of hallway platform, the platform is full of kids of different ages, they're all looking at me, they're waiting for the celebration to begin, they have balls and balloons of all kinds, there are streamers and tinsel hanging from the ceiling. Then, older people emerge from the room and look approvingly at the group of kids, enjoying the holiday celebration.

I found myself in temple. It was similar to our own temple in my village, but altar looked different, there was more gold plating on wood, and it was shining. It looked majestic somehow, in undefinable way. I wanted go out and home. But as I turned I saw again the same altar where doors out sed to be. I was confused... and turned around a few times, then I did reality check. I concluded that this is REALITY and not a dream.(Only few times I managed to differentiate between reality and dream in my dreams) I concluded that I have SLIGHT problems with my memory and I probably turn too fast to register doors. Therefore I turned directly to altar and walked backward out of temple.
Once outside, everything looked normal. I walked around temple. There were two people deconstructing an old howel. I had my bicycle nearby but it looked different. It has very big tractor transmission added on fork with big wheel on it. And two big auxiliary wheels on every side of that transmission. Man who deconstructed shed told me, that they need to drive it to scrapyard... So I said OK and I rode away. I was riding on my bicycle back home when I saw a dark gray wall on crossroad. I did again reality check, and again I concluded that I have probably problems with my perception of reality and that I'm not dreaming. I decided to use observer state (like I use by OBE) and I rode to wall. I saw that the wall was ever changing structure composed of limbs, hands and heads which looked like trying escape out into normal world. I rode directly into it, without hesitation or questioning myself whether it is sensible or not.
As I crossed threshold of wall it was like I rode into post apocalyptic world. Sky was dark gray... Houses were in ruins, smoking. Wind was making small dust devils... Ghostly figures were gliding aimlessly around it. Trees were black, naked. On the road, there were stones, debris, holes... after some time I discarded bicycle and I was walking forward. Observing, not judging state of things around me. Some ghostly figures tried to touch me, to catch me... visibly screaming. But I keep walking forward through it. I walked through a few ghostly figures, some demons like, some more humans like... I walked. And walked. There was despair, and there was me. There was pain and there was me. There was devastation, and there was me. I was observer. I was there but that THERE was not in me. After some time I got to second threshold (this one was shining) and I crossed it... again without questioning myself.
On the other side of wall the road continued curving into distance... the road was like new, trees around and grass were strong, healthy... The sky was deep blue... it was quiet. No sound was breaking the stillness surrounding me. There wasn't even wind. Everything was shining like new. Atmosphere of conflict and despair were left behind me. I turned to look back. There was no wall, no threshold, nothing... only healthy shining nature everywhere. I turned back on road and I walked. I walked forward observing but not questioning, not thinking, in everlasting here and now. I walked till I woke up.

Black: Non-dream
Blue: Non-lucid
Red: Lucid

I never properly become 'lucid' in this, and I found the dream I had really disturbing so I'm going to cut a few details out for my own sake.

During the night an alarm I had set a week beforehand had gone off at 4am. I wasn't prepared for this, I had completely forgotten, but I decided it would be a good opportunity to do a SSILD because I seemed to have awoken just before an REM period. What followed was my third consecutive attempt at a SSILD and almost my second lucid dream in an extremely disturbing situation.

Dream 1: I hope I can purge this from my memory one day.
I was lying in my bed going through the cycles required in a SSILD technique, eventually I fall asleep (literally after an hour, insomnia nearly kicked in). I'm sitting on the edge of a bed reading a book about hydro-geology (one of the papers I'm studying in university), the room I'm in has a pale blue colour to it, and there is a bookshelf next to me. Two milfs walk in, and the one on the right suggests another book for me to read on the same topic. I thank her for the suggestion, and the two woman sit on either side of me. I get a bit uncomfortable and nervous as I realize what's going on, the two woman are attractive and seem to be interested in me. I put my head into my lap and draw a deep breath, something just doesn't feel right. In the space of a few seconds I've somehow gained the notion that I must be in a dream, but I haven't checked yet, and I'm still thinking about the two woman next to me... They look at me and I only have two thoughts going through my head: Do a reality check... Have a three-way...
Before I could even do anything in these few seconds of mild realization, the woman to my left has hooked up with me, I close my eyes, her tongue feels cold and thin, it shouldn't feel like that. The notion to do a reality check becomes stronger, I just KNOW that I'm dreaming, it has to be, I want to do one but I don't have enough time... I'm awake. And incredibly disturbed (since I left some details out, anyone reading this won't know why I feel disturbed).

I decide to reality check and make sure I didn't just have a false awakening, but nope, I'm awake. God damn it. Okay, try again. I go through the cycles again and try it from the beginning, but I'm too sleepy, I keep forgetting. I'm persistent though, I just KNEW that I could do it again. This is where another strange thing happened, I'm still not sure what actually occurred to me...

Lying on my left side, eyes closed. Something's happening. A strobe light-like sensation was happening to eyes, but instead of light, it was an alternating image, I instantly think that I'm entering a dream consciously. It happens in a rapid-fire act, going back and forth, where one second I can SEE my room, then I'm somewhere else, then back to my room, then back to the other place. This sensation only lasted a few seconds and I failed to make it stabilize. I should also note that in this case and inside the dream I had earlier, I felt my heart thumping away, I suspect that the adrenaline rush that came with the prospect of a lucid dream prevented from actually having one. Also I believe that the 'strobe light-like' thing I experienced might have been my eyes starting up an REM period as I was awake and aware, I thought that I might have accidentally almost induced a VILD (since I was heavily visualizing at the time).

It was a non lucid dream. After something I don't recall happened I walked to where my brothers,cousins and people I don't know were. My cousin did something that made me angry so I started screaming at her. It made my brothers and another person mad so they started screaming at me. I left to another room and the screaming stopped but I felt something bad was going to happen cause my brother and a random guy walked into the room with a needle. "What are you going to do with that?..." I asked. "I'm just going to put this needle inside you so you won't get pregnant after I rape you." my brother said. I started running and yelled at him "why would you do that!? I'm your sister!" He didn't care though so him and his buddy jumped on me and he stabbed me with the needle. I pushed him afterwards and ran. I became lucid after that and decided to go through the window. When suddenly my brother's partner in crime jumped in front of me and said "If you go through the glass you'll end up breaking your head stupid." I ignored him though and went through the wall. I fell into a unknown place where there was a doll.The doll started out nice but than it got ugly real fast. It started screaming at me to play with it and stuff. But I did not want to so I ran.
I lost my lucidity after I got distracted with Chowder(CN Show) characters and icecream. Than woke up.