side notes

I've been sleepy all day which isn't normal for me. In fact, I was so tired this morning I did a few RC's just to be sure I was actually awake.

Also, the upper left side of my head has been buzzing for a few hours. So I'm eager for sleep tonight. And curious to know if the buzzing is a precursor of things to come.

Black means non lucid
Orange means semi lucid
Blue means lucid
Red means dream characters talking
Purple means possible shared dreaming person
Green means notes

Got it? Great! Now enjoy my dreams.


Wishes, do they ever come true?





Dream #1 A being of Light.

Im in some room looking up outside the window. It is a full moon, and i am talking out aloud about searching for my Twin flame my other half. I begin getting emotional, telling my other half to please appear to me and enter my life soon. I wipe the tears away from my eyes, and walk outside. I look up and notice that there are hearts in the clouds, with the moon turning into a glowing purple colour. I stare in to the moon, and feel myself being filled with some type of loving calmness energy. I begin floating in the air and letting whatever takes me take everything of me.

I sense a being of light, it is a female. She is beyond beautiful, I will try my best to describe her. Her eyes were like a million diamonds illuminating in the moonlight, Her hair was long brunette, and blowing in the wind. Her face was like the most beautiful and most precious of any newborn. She a had glowing bright white and purple light illuminating from her naked body. I was at awe with her beauty. Why, she was simply beyond words. Im now in what looks like an Infinite temple place. There are books and rooms with gold lights everywhere. There are animal stautues of wolves, birds, and different Deitys. and it had a very heavenly feeling to it. Everything feels familiar to me, Almost like this is my home in a way. She shows me a glimpse of what love looks like.

"You are a compassinate and loving person. Do not dwell on the past so much. But move on and become an inspiration, and let your light shine, to make a new path for others."

She then walked up to me and gave me the most powerful hug i have ever felt! It was not a suffocating hug, but a hug that can heal the most violent and destructive beasts and human beings. I begin tearing up from my eyes and telling her that i love her. And hearing her say she loves me too.

I am now awaken in my bed with the most vibrant love of energy i have ever felt from a dream.


3:20 - 3:45 am. Did plenty of reality checks with my totem. And did a little bit of subconscious training.

Notes: Wanted to also try something different over the next couple of nights. Im listening to certain songs like music with love, to see if i am able to get more intimate moments in dreams. I set my alarm to a specific time to go off while i am asleep. I also assigned a certain ringtone to it to see how it will affect the mood of the dream. I keep the volume at a medium volume, and set it across the room to see if i can cue in on it. If it will make me lucid, or pull me out of the dream.


Dream #2 Me and Mila Kunis.


Im in a supermarket and i notice Mila Kunis is working there at the register. I walk up to her and she says..

"Hey babe! Im almost done ok?"

"Mkay, take ya time."

She is looking good. Her hair is down, and she is wearing a green supermarket t shirt, with some beige pants, and black flats on. Im standing by some magazines and start reading thru one of them. (I think it was about good health or something like that)

(Mila Kunis) "K, im ready babe."

She pinches me on my butt and starts tongue kissing me. I put my arms around her, and we stare into eachothers eyes.

"You know what im in the mood for?"

"What sex?"

(She hits me on my chest lightly)

"Hah, noo. Ice cream!"

(Me) "Oh."

"Maybe later tonight ok?"

We are now walking and holding hands. it is day time out, and we go to the ice cream parlor to get some ice cream. I hear a very mellow song from a oldies classic that sounds like its coming from in the background. (must be my alarm goin off on my cellphone)

Spoiler for Lovers Music:

Mila Kunis starts taking her ice cream cone and licking it very slowly.

"Girl you better quit licking that ice cream like that for you get yourself in trouble."

"Hah, what are you gonna do hm?"

"You'll see, keep on."

She starts doin it again, and i shake my head. She starts laughing, and ask if i wanted to lick it. I laughed and said..

"Lick what? Yo ice cream?

Oh see, now you tryna tempt me."

She laughs again and takes the ice cream and puts it right in my face licking her fingers.

"Hah, nice look Q!"

I wipe my face with a napkin and tell her shes gonna get it. Im chasing her thru a grassy field where we roll around kissing and playing with one another. She is laying on her back and im on top of her. We both are fully clothed just a little bit of kissing and staring into eachothers eyes. We get up holding hands and start walking some more.

The area where we are walking, is now in some sort of garden almost. There are rose bushes and colorful birds flying around. I take a rose and give it to Mila Kunis. She smiles at me and kisses me. I reach in my pocket and pull out my maroon colour maroon moonstone totem and say to her..

"I want you to keep this. This token, will be a reminder of my love for you, and it means that i will always return to you ok?"

(She tears up a bit wiping her eyes)

She nods,
And we hug tightly and i can feel the dream closing in on me and i wake up.


5:15 - 5:35 Am. Did plenty of subconscious training.

Dream #3 Natalia and me take a night out.

Me and Natalia are in a fancy hotel walking downstairs to a lobby it looks night time outside. Natalia is wearing a very lovely dress, it is Red, and she has her hair in a ponytail, and wearing black strappy high heels.

(Me)

"Just relax ok?" It will get taken care of.

"No Q, im fucking tired of relaxing! Shit...it seems like when i do try and relax, something always happens!"

We are now in a limosine on our way to meet with some people. Im wearing a black and white suit, with my hair in a long braided pontail, looking at my reflection in the mirror in the limo.

(Natalia talking)

"You look good ok."

"I should've worn my other suit."

We get out the limo and enter this very fancy looking restaurant. There is classical music playing and me and Natalia have a seat. Some italian men sit down at the table to have dinner with us. They are explaining to us about some men ruining their business or something like that. Me and Natalia take a good long hard look at the pictures.

I only remember frags here. Something about me and Natalia being in a hotel setting up cameras, and hot wiring a car.


Notes: Im not sure if in my 1st dream if that was my Twin flame or not. But the energy that she carried certainly felt strong. I am most happy with all the dreams that i got. I think i may try and stick with what im doin so far to see how this will affect my dreams over the next few nights.

Another DILD last night. I'm getting better at this.

This time, I had much more lucidity and clarity than before. Still not enough to remember those dream commands, though.

I don't remember what made me do a reality check, but I was lucid enough to remember to stabilize the dream. I did the trick where you rub your hands together. For some reason it didn't work. I didn't notice, though.

The dream was very blurry. Can't remember anything. I remember stabilizing the dream and flying. That's all. I don't even remember doing a reality check.

All I need to do is become lucid enough to remember the "More lucidity!" dream command. Then I'll be fine. D:

So, i thought that this is the time to give a little insight on Lucy I know that not many people read my DJ, but i guess it'll be much nicer for that few if they'll understand the thing behind Lucy.

My plan is to make her be friends with me and maybe even become my Dream Guide. I can't imagine any other DC as a DG, she just seems more important and is actually more powerful than the usual DCs.

I'll tell her story, list parts of dream stories where i've met her before the start of this DJ.

BEWARE: LONG POST!

Basically Lucy is a recurring DC, who first appeared in my very first Sleep Paralysis experience:

"... it was getting darker and darker, when i lost the sight of the guy i was with, i was left alone in the dark. I kept shouting for him to help me and don't leave me, but he didn't listen. After this a small white dot started coming towards me from the darkness and everything started shaking, fear took over me as the white face reached me.
I woke up just to see a tall black haired girl jump on me from the end of my bed and start shaking me violently. I couldn't see her face because her hair was in the way. I didn't know what was happening, i thought that i was having a False Awakening and kept thinking that she wants to kill me.
It ended and i was so terrified that i questioned reality for the first time ever. I didn't want to believe that i'm not dreaming... I kept saying things out loudly, telling that scary girl to don't hurt me and never come back..."


After this i read after Sleep Paralysis and understood it more, but the thought of this experience still scared me.
It took around 4-5 days, when in an LD i met her again:

"...I was in my room, when i turned around and noticed a black haired girl sitting on the end of my bed, her head looking the other way. I immediately realized who it was, the exact same girl that attacked me in SP. I got lucid by this thought, but i was too terrified of the memories of that experience and woke myself up..."


She didn't do anything, but just her appearance was enough to freak me out.
This time it was suspicious for me what she'd want, that she appeared twice already...
After some time (i think it was weeks), she had an appearance again, in a non-lucid:

"...I was laying on my bed in my old room, which is now my grandma's and looks totally different. At first i thought that i woke up in real, because it was pitch dark, but then i heard a noise. Someone laid down on the bed next to me, i could just feel it. Then i heard a voice of a girl, she was talking to me... My first thought was that it must be her, i just knew it for some reason. I don't remember what she said, and i was acting like i was sleeping, maybe she'll just go away.
But she didn't. She started gently caressing my face, then lightly grabbed my hand and started caressing my belly as well. I was still scared of her and opened my eyes, grabbed her hand and tried to push it away from me. She became quiet and tried to hold my hands together, to don't let me push her away. She climbed on me and tried to hold me from moving. She laughed playfully like we were just playing.
After all i succeeded and pushed her away, we both fell down to the ground from the bed. The lamp suddenly became lit and i could see everything perfectly, it was my old room, it was sure now.
She kept trying to get hold of me and keep me close to herself, but i was trying to get away. We got into the corner of the room and we both stopped and just stared.
Finally i was able to see her face for the first time, it was beautiful. She looked like a model of some kind and was around 20 years old. I took the opportunity to talk with her:
- Who are you?
/playful laugh/
- What do you want from me?
/playful laughter again/
It was obvious that she didn't want to answer, as i wasn't lucid anyway. I got a little angry over this and pushed her away from me with my feet.
She stopped laughing and looked a little sad and disappointed. She stood up and turned towards the window and just disappeared in front of my eyes..."


Later during that night:

"...I was thinking about that last dream for a while in the bed, then decided to get back to sleep again.
In this dream i was in the same old bed, which was in my old room. It was pitch dark again, but there was a little light at the end of the corridor that opens to the room. I heard a constant female-ish demonic voice from the corner of the room, that kept saying thing like this to me: "Come here now!" "You'll come here IMMEDIATELY!" "You'll listen to me and obey!"
I felt a powerful energy, that kept pulling me towards the corner of the room where the voice came from. I tried to fight it and could keep it up, but it was pulling me constantly.
There were some kind of flying messages in front of me, while i was staring at the corridor and trying to get away. These messages said things like "The solution to the problem is in the living room" "Get to the living room to escape" "You can get to the living room, don't give up"..."

This nightmare kept repeating 5-6 times during that night and caused me to wake up early, i couldn't take it anymore. I knew that it was her in a demonic form and that she got angry because i pushed her away from me when she tried to be nice. This was the dream which after i decided to try and reason with her, try to make her forgive me and help.
I decided to name her Lucy, because of the word "Lucid"


For a long while i didn't hear from her and we didn't meet again, until i decided to try and find her in an LD, in which someone else acted like her, trying to fool me. It's not really worthy to write down, so let's skip a little.

After some weeks i met her again in an LD:

"...I just entered our house, the corridor was dark, only one room was lit, so i decided to go in there. I wanted to check the paper i placed on my desk in reality, so i started searching for it in the room, but i didn't realize that i'm not even in the same room. When i actually found this out, the first thought that striked me was that the last time i've met Lucy in this exact same room.
I was a little worried that i just unintentionally summoned her somewhere, so i kept searching for that paper faster, even while i knew that i wasn't at the right place.
Suddenly i heard a noise from the corridor and turned around. No surprise, Lucy was standing there, but she wasn't alone, she held a baby in her hands. She started coming towards me and when she got closer i realized that she looked dead, just like the baby in her hands. It really freaked me out, so i kicked her away from me and closed the door in front of her. I turned around to keep searching, but she appeared before me in the same form as before. She smiled weirdly and said "I'm back..." and everything started shaking heavily, which made me wake up."


After this dream i was sure, that this won't be as easy as i expected at first.

So these were the stories to be told, hopefully it gives a little more insight on why i want to find her and make her forgive me. She seems like a powerful DC, not like the usual ones, and i feel some kind of connection to her. Currently i'm working towards making her be nice to me and help me out and i don't plan to give up, no matter how hard it might be.
She is kind of stubborn and seems to be evil in some part, but it would be nice to have a powerful companion like her

Dream One: I'm walking through my dads old neighborhood. I can hear rapping behind me, but no music with it. I turn around to see a girl and boy walking behind me, rapping and tapping out a beat with their feet on the street. I really am not a rap music fan, but there are some songs I like. This song, I'd never heard before, but I remember in the dream thinking it was really good, especially considering it was being sung by little kids! I end up at a house picking up a little girl from a baby sitters. Maybe it was my daughter, but she was grown up to be around 6 or 7. I woke up as soon as I saw her and knew I was supposed to be taking her home.

Dream Two: I'm at a mall, walking into a victoria secret with my husband. I take a quick look around, and instantly know I don't want anything from here. Not only is everything either white or green and totally not my style, but I just don't feel like depressing myself trying on lingerie that's not going to fit. There's a middle aged man behind the desk and he tells me I should look around because everything is on sale today and I will probably find a really good deal! I give in and think I'll probably find SOMETHING I'll like. I start looking around, and stumble across rain coats. My first thought was back to the conversation I'd had a few days ago about how when I was a kid they made coats for rain, and I never see rain coats in stores anymore. I see one of the raincoats is grey with black and white skull and crossbones patterns. I LOVE it, and my mom shows up and tells me to try it on. I decide to try on a medium because I know a small probably won't button. I can't button it on top. I start getting depressed again. I do not want to try a large because I know it's going to sag and hang around the arms and the bottom will probably just drop straight off from the breast making me look fat instead of dipping back in and being somewhat form fitting. My mom suggests that I could buy the medium and just not button it, or button it around the belly and leave the top open, saying it would be sexier that way anyways. I think about it for a second, then go ahead and decide to buy it. I go to check out, and the line is taking forever! When I finally go to check out, the guy tells me how much it's going to be, and I hand him my debit card. He then returns it and says their card machine has been broken for a week now and he can only accept cash. I'm mad at this point, because he could have told me that BEFORE when he told me that everything was on sale. I'm mad because I feel like I just went through all that body image trouble for nothing, I'm mad because I really wanted that rain coat, and I'm mad because it's embarrassing to be told you can't pay for something. I tell him he should have told me before, and he just shurgs his shoulders, so I say "Fuck you!" and throw the raincoat at him and storm out of the store. I'm ready to leave the mall completely, but my mom wants to look around a bit more. So I walk around with her a minute, then decide to walk by myself, for some reason I feel like being around her is only going to make things worse (a really good chance to get lucid, missed.) I pass by a display showing kids beach towels, and I notice there are hooded ones with Nintendo characters and Disney faeries on them. Those hooded towels are the kind of towels my kids like to use when they get out of the bathtub, and my daughters Tinkerbell towel was bleached out, so I think I'm going to find this store and buy a couple for them. The display says Fantastic Towels! on it, so I look for a store called Fantastic Towels, instead I find one called Fantastic Hair and Things. I wonder if that's it, and walk in to ask the clerk. It is, and she shows me the towels, but she's not sure which ones are hooded and which ones are regular beach towels, so we have to unfold them to check. I find the faeries one, and then I find the Nintendo one, and then I see one with a pink horses head on it. I Think the horse one might me a pony towel, and my daughter loves ponies too (so do I, but I was thinking of her at the time, I swear, lol) but when I unfold it, it's a sea horse, and it's head doesn't look anything like a horse anymore. The towel is black and says sea dragon on it in cyan blue with the powder pink sea horse on it. I think about getting it for my daughter anyways, but decide not to. I fold it back up and realize my mom is in the store behind me! I show her the towels I found, and tell her why I want to buy them. She says it's a good idea. I ask the clerk if they accept cards since Victoria's Secret didn't, and she said sure, no problem! But the towels aren't ringing up, and she's not sure why. I wake up. This is one of those rare dreams where I can point out where most of this came from. I had just had a conversation about raincoats with my husband and son yesterday when it looked like it was going to rain, but it was way too windy for an umbrella. As for why it was at Victoria's Secret and I was uncomfortable the whole dream, I had just had a conversation with my mom about the assets I had gained when I was preggo with my kids, and how I'd hoped they'd go away if I lost the 15 pounds of baby weight I put on when I was preggo with the kids. The hooded towels I was thinking about last night as well, and had told my husband we needed to buy new ones. Too bad all dreams aren't so easy to decode, ha ha.

Dream Three (fragment): I'm working at a grocery store and I am supposed to be taking food that is about to expire and is past it's sell date to the local food bank because we can't sell it anymore or something. Later on someone asks me if I took it there, or if I just took it home for myself, because apparently I could have done either. I took it to the food bank though, and they seemed kind of mad because apparently they wanted the food but it wasn't their day to take it. They must have been hoping I'd take it home and they could just go get it from my house or something.

Dream Four: I'm in a small boat with my husband and an Asian lady. The coat is TINY, like canoe size, and we're on a lake probably a hundred feet wide. It's the middle of the night, but the moon is full casting a lot of eerie light. Around the lake are these really, REALLY big creepy trees. There are also lots of these huge trees sticking out of the water as though they'd fallen over and were now growing out of the lake. There's some abandoned farming equipment here and there (big stuff, like tractors and combines and stuff), even an abandoned tank! They're all rusted, and look like they've been in the lake for years. I'm in total awe of how creepy and junky the whole place is, almost apocalyptic, but in the dream I knew the world hadn't ended or anything, the people where ever I was just didn't care about taking care of the environment. The boat was moving really fast through the water, as if it had a motor or something on it, but I couldn't see any motor and I was in the back. I held on tightly afraid it'd tip over. The lake was calm though, so the only waves were the wake from out boat. We were steering by leaning side to side, and a couple times we'd accidentally bump into trees, but we were able to grab the trees to steady the boat, it wasn't big enough to be too heavy to pick up ourselves. Looking over the edge, I saw fish swimming below, and they were gigantic. It was really scary when dolphin sized fish would swim under the boat! I was worried they've capsize it, and who knows if any of them were meat eating fish. We stopped at one point at a house, and went inside because it was someone the Asian lady knew. I remember seeing prints in frames on the wall, and thinking I have some by the same artist ( Princess of the Night : 8th Day Anime, ...and on the 8th day, there was anime <--- one of the prints I have, I don't have time to look for the ones in the dream, if he even makes ones like that for real, lol ) My husband also pointed out some of the DVDs on the shelf. There were a lot called, "The Promise of the Fallen" and I remember the title hitting a nerve, but not why it seemed to make me sad. I looked it up to see if it was a book or movie I'd read, and I didn't find it. (after posting, I remembered this dream, and now wonder if it's related? 6-1-11, Important dreams from the past: We are the star called - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views ) We also saw some dresses, like toddler sized dresses, hanging up and I thought they were oddly fancy and nice for the depressing and murky feel of the rest of the dream. When we got back on the water, we crashed into some trees again, and fell out of the boat onto the land. The lady was getting scared being on land, freaking out about the wild animals, and I kept telling her we needed to get back in the boat then, but she just kept clinging to the tree saying, "I'm scared, I'm too scared! I can't move!" Then I woke up. The dream probably wasn't very long, but I woke up so creeped out by how eerie the whole thing was. I went back to sleep after that, but couldn't remember anymore dreams.

Edited to add dreams from my nap. THey weren't very long so they don't really deserve their own entry.

Dream One: We were trying to figure out how to put a manufactured home on this property along with the house and get around the all new houses need 2 acres law that passed a few years back. We thought we'd figured it out, but then I woke up and realized that the lot and house in the dream didn't look anything like this lot and house. and that we only have 1.9 acres, not 2.9, so the idea to break the land in half and put the new house on the 2.0 lot acres and only give the already built house the .9 acre lots wouldn't work either.

Dream Two: I was hanging out with my bi friend and her boyfriend, who was someone totally different in dream than in real life. It almost evolved into a threesome, but I woke up while making out with my friend :/

I look out over the mountains, and as massive as they are, they seem small at my height. I stop and snap a picture; when I find him again, he'll want to see this. That done, I continue on my way. Presently I come to what seems to be an abandoned passenger plane, a 747 or something very like it. Inside, I come to the door separating the cockpit from the rest of the plane. Papers are plastered all over the door, sloppy writing scrawled over most of them. I'm on the right track, then. An envelope catches my eye, an address carefully written in the appropriate place. I begin adding the numbers of the address that will lead me to her.


I honestly have no idea what this one is really about. Lindar and I were presumably looking for some girl, and we had gotten separated, so I was taking pictures of various things so I could show them to him when we met up again.

I also don't know if this is the traditional format for dream journal entries, or whether there even is one, but I particularly liked this dream; I have a particular fondness for adventure.

This one is kind of old and happened right after my last entry.
I haven't really found the time to write it down until now.
My dreams are also getting kind of long, which is amazing, but also kind of a pain to write down.


The time is ticking.
I have no choice but to diffuse the bomb, there is no way we'll get out of the explosion radius in time.
I quickly grab an electric screwdriver from my back pocket and start removing the digital clock mounted on top of the bomb.
There is less than one minute left on the timer.

"Hurry up!"
"Shut it!"

Removing the clock reveals a highly complex maze of cabling.
Screw this!
I remove the electronics as well, in the hopes of finding a simpler set of cabling leading to the warhead.
Fortunately I am right. The whole electronics are wired to the warhead by only two thick cables.
I can do this!
But my short burst of confidence is quickly shattered by a rather troublesome discovery.
The warhead is nuclear.
How the fuck did this happen? How did anyone manage to acquire a nuclear fucking bomb?

A quick look at the dismantled clock reveals that I have 7 seconds left.
I decide to cut one of the cables at random.

"I know this setup! Cut the red one!"

I move my knife to the red cable, but it shifts colors with the other yellow one.
Whenever I switch, the cable colors switch as well. It's impossible to cut the red one. WTF!

Seeing the last few seconds run out, I notice that I'm not really scared to die.
I wonder why that is.
Oh...

Yeah...
I start rubbing my hands but am interrupted by the bomb hitting zero and audibly powering up.
Well... this is not good. I might wake up because of that.
I think about quickly portaling the bomb away before it goes off, but then I notice that it is plugged into the wall with an extension cord.
Really?
I unplug it and the warhead turns off.
Lol.

I resume rubbing my hands but I am yet again interrupted, this time by the DC that was with me.
I unsummon him because I have no time to deal with DC's right now.
I need to stabilize the dream and get my second lesson in time dilation...

... I'm in Haven with Yuya and Liv.
I have trouble stabilizing the dream but eventually manage to get there.
Once stable I immediately get back to doing the awareness technique from the previous dream, sort of to show off in case Yuya tests me.
But she doesn't. There is simply no need, she is fully aware of my thoughts and how aware I am right now.
Liv is curious about what we are doing and I have a difficult time explaining it to her.
She is unaware of the difficulty of remaining in a dream or the concept of stability.

We walk along a path that I remember. I've been here before but I cannot quite remember what I was doing.
Then I see the water pools, yep, this is the fighting practice area.
Yuya starts walking onto one of the pools and I follow her.
Walking on water is second nature to me nowadays, but thinking back, it's the first thing that Yuya taught me when I met her again.

I suddenly get goosebumps and instinctively power up and take a defensive stance.
Huh? It was Yuya.I felt the shock of her suddenly powering up.

"Nice reaction!"
"Cheers. What are we doing?"

I barely manage to block her attack as she blinks towards me.
Without my recent training she would have knocked me unconscious with this.
I'm kind of in the mood to fight her now, I wonder how I compare to her nowadays.
I smile.

"Awareness Hyu."
"What? Oh, you've got to be kidding me! During a fight???"
"Why? Are you scared that I'll slap you across the face?"
"Hahaha, alright, let's do this!"

I awaken the dragon and charge towards her.
She easily blocks all of my attacks. No surprise there though.
So far so good, I manage to remain fully aware of my surroundings.
The fight is pretty tame, I don't get myself into uncomfortable positions, have I gotten closer to the skill level of Yuya?

She summons her pressurized spheres.
Well shit. I forgot about those.
The spheres are horribly dangerous and difficult to fight against.
She basically creates 5 water spheres about the size of a basket balls.
Then she compresses them down to the size of a grain of sand.
I'm not even sure how it's possible to compress a liquid at all.

The pressure of these spheres is immense. They can be used both defensively and offensively.
She moves them around telepathically at extreme speeds and can make them burst whenever she wants,
releasing the contained water at extreme pressures, cutting through anything in their way.

You really can't let them touch you unless you don't mind loosing a limb.
Fighting against them requires a lot of blinking, which causes stability problems due to the distorted vision.

It would be rather useful to have my katana right now, but I'm not using it in a practice battle with Yuya, it's too dangerous.
I don't use the dragon eyes either, because the thought on using them on a friend scares the shit out of me.
In return she doesn't use her water extraction technique, which I wouldn't know how to fight against.
I only saw her use it once in a fight.
Within a split second she extracted the entire blood from her enemy and he died on the spot.
It's a really scary technique.

What am I doing?
I'm thinking too much. I should look for openings instead and strike whenever I see one.
But Yuya is way too skilled to provide such an opening, I'll have to force one.
I create and launch spheres of compressed energy at her. Those are rather explosive and fairly dangerous.
I got the idea from her water spheres. Attacks of compressed energy have their advantages.
They are much more efficient against single targets.
The technique is also cheap energy wise, so I can cast it a lot, making it an ideal tool to get someone off balance.

She is moving 3 of her water spheres into a defensive position to cope with my relentless attacks.
Time to get serious.
I make an aggressive blink, right in front of her, and try to strike her with a fist.
This is obviously not going to work, I expect her to blink away.
I'm using a multiblink attack, which is very difficult to perform.
I try to feel where she's going to blink to to dodge my attack and blink myself to the new location simultaneously.

Blinking usually has some sort of cooldown, making this impossible, but using enough energy it is possible to force it.
The energy required to do this is ludicrous though, so multiblink attacks are extremely exhausting.
But you basically put your opponent into a position where he is forced to multiblink as well to dodge the attack.
Yuya and I are skilled enough to do it about 4-5 times in a row, but after that everything hurts.
Your aura is completely unstable at that point and takes seconds to recover, during which you cannot focus your energy at all.

The reason I'm using such an attack is to nullify an immense advantage she has over me.
She doesn't need to stay lucid. She lives in this world, I am merely a visitor.

Here she goes.
2 Blinks... 3, 4, and finally a fifth.
The energy in my fist has completely dissipated due to all the blinking, and she can now easily block it.
I land on the water surface and have difficulty remaining on top due to my now unstable aura.

I attack her again, purely physically this time, as I neither of us can focus any energy.
Whoever manages to focus his energy first will have the tremendous advantage of launching the first serious attack.
I might have the advantage on this, dragonic energy is extremely unstable by nature, so I'm used to it.
I should be able to focus my energy before my aura has fully stabilized.

I can feel my aura tingling. This should be enough!
I focus energy into the tattoo stretched over my right arm and quickly cast a fire based attack towards Yuya.
She dodges it by blinking.
How the hell can she do that???
How is her aura stable enough already to blink?

I screwed up big time. I casted this before my aura stabilized, and now it's completely messed up again.
Yuya is over me charging towards me. She's casting a spell.
Shit, I can't do anything.
The water surface collapses beneath my feet and I am dragged underwater.
She's controlling the water, increasing it's pressure attempting to hold me in place.
I see her splash through the water surface still charging at me fast.
She is wielding a trident.

But she's overconfident. She's in her element, so she thinks I must be at a huge disadvantage.
Yet, even though I do not control water, I can make good use of it.
My aura stabilizes and I create an extremely strong electric field in front of me.
Electrolysis! I split water into hydrogen and oxygen. The correct mixture is highly explosive.
She realizes what I've done too late and I ignite the mixture with a fire sphere.

Oh shit. I didn't think this through.
The explosion is huge and we are both catapulted out of the water.
Everything is extremely foggy because so much water evaporated and water drops are going everywhere.
I can barely see. This is really dangerous, the dream could collapse.
I don't even know where up and down is.

I decide to completely ignore my vision and rely on my sense of global awareness instead.
Good call! I sense 5 sources of compressed energy approaching. Water spheres!
I quickly locate Yuya's aura and blink towards her.
I catch her slightly of guard and manage to land a focused hit.
She blocks it fine, but still.
Focused energy attacks are better to avoid than to block.
They cause all sorts of vibrations in your aura making followup moves difficult.

I try to chain a few attacks together but quickly feel the exhaustion kicking in and I back up.
Most of the water has come down and my vision becomes useful again.

She performs a blink attack.
Shit! She's going to chain them up.
We blink a total of 4 times.
It hurts so much.

This keeps going for a few more rounds.
One of us performs a multiblink attack and gets us both completely out of position.
Then it's a race to the first attack and a matter of somehow defending against it.
It is absolutely exhausting.
My limbs become insanely heavy and I start to loose the ability to focus my energy properly.
We fight for maybe a total of 15 minutes, which is actually quite a long time considering the speed we're going at.

"Alright... let's call it a draw..."
"No... I win."

Oh come on. She's just as exhausted as I am, she can barely stand.

"You lost awareness of your surroundings."
"Fuck my life."
"Haha. You completely forgot!"
"..."
"And guess what? You're still here."
"Huh? I thought the goal of this was to remain aware of my surroundings."
"No, that's not the goal at all. The goal is to have deeper dreams. The goal is to remain here for longer."

...
Wait what?

"Hold on a second!"

She got that grin of her face.
That "she knows everything" grin.

"You're telling me the heightened awareness thing isn't actually necessary to stay lucid???"
"Of course not! How would you pull that off for multiple hours in a row?"
"..."
"I said your awareness level was too random, we did some training to fix that."
"So you're saying it is already fixed?"
"I am now convinced that it is already fixed."

Woah. That was fast.

"So.. what are we doing now?"
"Teaching you to let go."

Let go? Let go of waking life?
Not thinking about it all the time and rather focus on the dream?
Of course... she told me many times before...

I take a quick dip in the water to get rid of the smell.
I'm sweating like a pig.

We walk back towards Yuya's place, discussing dreaming and being awake.
I mention Dreamviews, which I haven't done very often before.
Yuya tells me to say hi to fOrceez and Dark_Merlin.
Liv doesn't say a word. I don't think she's ever seen Yuya and me fight, that must have been quite intense for her.

Damn... I'm so exhausted.
Why do you even get exhausted in dreams?

"Why wouldn't you?"
"Eh... yeah..."
"Indeed."
"So, what do I do against it?"
"... are you serious?"

>_<

"You sleep of course! Or did you think I would sleep just for fun?"
"Well... now that you put it this way."

Liv leaves us and we quickly get into bed.
Goddamn I'm exhausted. Every muscle in my body hurts.

"This is a problem"
"What is?"
"If I want to sleep I'll have to close my eyes."
"So?"
"I might wake up?"
"zzz, you've picked up a lot of nonsense"
"I have?"
"These 'dream rules'. Darkness is bad, don't close your eyes. Don't talk. Yada yada."
"Yeah, I kinda have, haven't I?"
"I know the not talking one is nonsense, I talk all the time."
"It's no different for closing your eyes."
"I know you're right. I only wake up because I'm scared that I might. But it seems hard to get over."

"Pff... hahahaha"
"What's so funny?"
"Hurr hurr, I'm a badass dragon, I can fight a goddess of water and do all sorts of shit."
"Yet I can't even close my eyes.... haha.... I'm sorry Hyu, but this is funny."

It kind of is.
Screw it. Let's do this shit!
I close my eyes.

"You know, when you exploded half of the fucking training pool you didn't see anything either."
"That didn't wake you up, so why would closing your eyes do so?"

Yep, my thoughts exactly.
I open my eyes again to sneak a closer look at her.

WHAT THE FUCK?
How am I awake? What is this shit?
I'm a bit mad, but happy to have made progress.
I take some quick notes and go back to sleep.

Black means non lucid
Orange means semi lucid
Blue means lucid
Red means dream characters talking
Purple means possible shared dreaming person
Green means notes


Got it? Great! Now enjoy reading my dreams.


Notes: Wanted to see what my dreams would end up like without doing any reality checks, or subconscious training. Pretty interesting what my subconscious decided to give me.


Dream #1 Supermarket spree.

Im with my moms in a supermarket, and we are on some game show. We have 60 seconds to put as many items in the cart as possible. We run thru the aisle picking up items on throwing them in the cart. The timer stops and we have five hundred dollars worth of groceries in under a min! Me and my mom dance and laugh and start celebrating around the supermarket. (Very hilarious moment.)


Dream #2 A side of me that is shown often.








Im walking in a mall and hear Edith Piaf, La Vie En Rose in the background. (Must be my alarm) I stop and glance at this young woman who looked Arab or Indian. She is fairly attractive, Long black hair in a ponytail to her waist, big beautiful brown eyes, and a very light coco skin complexion. She wore blue jeans with silver flip flops, and her toes were polished a silver colour, and she wore a light blue shirt. She was putting clothes on a rack, and she turns to look at me smiling. I nod at her and smile back, as i continued walking thru the mall hearing that song play in the background. Pretty soon it fades, (Most likely went to a 5 min snooze) And i am now in line with a lady who looked tanned and in her 50's i believe. Very attractive, with medium length sandy brown hair, and big aqua blue eyes.

She begin flirting with me, and took out a green pill and swallowed it. I reached in my pocket and pulled out a green pill and swallowed mines as well. She begin glowing a aqua colour and and light begin surrounding her body. Another guy who was black was in the line hating and cock blocking, saying..
(Black guy talking)
"Why don't you get with a real man like myself baby."
(Woman talking)
"No thanks, im not interested."
She smiles gazing into my eyes, flexing her breast telling me she works out. We lock eyes for a while..then my alarm goes off again then i wake up.


Final dream: Fantasies from my subconscious.

Im in a room with two beautiful women who looked mixed with something.

Spoiler for For 18+:

Im sitting down in a chair, and one of the girls starts unfasting my belt buckle and pulling down my pants. She then takes her black leather heel pumps off, and throws them on the floor. She now lays on her back on the floor, and uses only her soft silky beautiful feet to tug and stroke my now fully rock hard erect cock. Another girl walks over and begins sucking on the head of my penis, while the other girl uses her feet to jack me off. A black dude walks in, and i look over at him and say..
"Man get the FUCK outta here!"
I throw a bottle of lotion at him, and tell him go in the bathroom and have fun...shit.

The girls laugh, and the guy takes the walk of shame. I continue my business with the women, and felt myself reaching climax and literally woke up with a bit of a surprise on myself. Lol,

I woke up recorded the dream and took a long hot shower.


Notes: Well not too upset with what i got. Can't complain, but this just shows what my dreams are like when i don't do any reality checks or subconscious training. Sooo think ima gonna go back to my usual routine. Lol, gonna start my day off with plenty of reality checks, and plenty of subconscious training for tonight.

Black means non lucid
Orange means semi lucid
Blue means lucid
Red means dream characters talking
Purple means possible shared dreaming person
Green means notes

Got it? Great! Now enjoy my dreams, and make yourself comfortable.


Dream #1 Fearless Hitman.

Im sitting around a round table with a group of mafioso bosses. One of the men Who looks like Steven Seagal, ask me if im willing to take out the biggest known crime syndicate in town. I tell them sure i can take care of that problem for them.

Im now on some rooftop looking thru a scope of a sniper rifle. The sun is shining and it is a calm afternoon. I spot a man walking out of a hotel He looks like he is some italian dude. He is heavy set and wearing a white suit, with 4 henchmen walking on the side of him there is a limo he is walking to. I squeeze the trigger hitting the man with right between the eyes. The men look around, but i am smooth and walk away off of the rooftop down some stairs and change my all black gear that i had on, including black gloves, black skull cap you name it. I stuff it all in a dumpster.

I am now wearing baggy blue jeans, a white t shirt, white sneakers my hair is down and i put a white baseball cap on, and put my glasses on. I get to a payphone and make the call to my boss and tell him..
"Looks like he is gonna be gone for a looong time."
The man laughs on the other end, and the dream fades and i wake up.


4:30 - 4:40 Am. Did plenty of intense subconscious training, and went back to bed.

Dream #2 Such a beautiful body. (TOTM)

Im in a mall walking around and notice a white lady who looked to be, 30 or 40 years old. She looked very attractive, reminded me of Julia Roberts. I sat down at the bench next to her, And reached in my pocket to grab my hawk coin totem. Im rubbing and playing with it thru my knuckles and say..
"Such a beautiful body you have."
I smile thinking about the TOTM. I open my arms and let my self emerge with her.
"Wha..what are you doin!?"
"Sssh, hush now. This real be quick and painless i assure you sweetheart."
"Nooooo!"


I feel myself emerged with hers and feel a slight tingle thruout my entire midsection. I laugh and look on the ground to notice my hawk coin totem has dropped on the ground. I walk hearing my heels tap against the floor as it echoes when i walk. I pick it up, and begin flipping my hawk coin totem in the air, whistling the entire time.


Grow Juggernault grow! (TOTM)

Im still walking thru the mall, and try and find my favorite childhood toy. I stop around and look for a toy store, and find nothing. I grow impatient and decide to summon my favorite childhood toy. I take both my hands and use my mental strength to summon a toy Juggernault. Nothing. I begin getting frustrated and finally yell..
"WOULD MY TOY JUGGERNAULT APPEAR BEFORE ME NOW!!!"

look around and see nothing. Im walking around looking and notice a toy Juggernault standing right in the center of the mall. I smile and command that Juggernault grow, raising both my arms up as i say.

"Grow Juggernault grow, grow Juggernault grow!"
It did not grow until i begin stomping my heels on the ground. Noticing, each time i did so..it grew. I continued stomping on the floor as the Juggernault toy grew in size. I laughed said..
"Grow bigger Juggernault, and do thy bidding!"
The toy Juggernault grew to an incredible stature, And it begin crushing stores and everything begin to become chaotic!

I noticed that the dream started to look a bit unstable and i was looking for my hawk coin totem to rub, and decided to try and rub my hands but the dream had already begin to fade, and i woke up.


6:27 - 6:45 Am. Did a alot of reality checks with my totem. And plenty of subconscious training.

Dream #3 Showdown at Xiaoyu's.


Im at a chinese restaurant. And there is this black dude there causing some problems to this asian lady.
(The black man talking)

"WHERE IS XIAOYU!? WHERE IS SHE!?"

(The asian lady talking)

"I DON'T KNOW!"

I stare at the man from my table, looking at him making sure he does not threaten the woman. he starts to pound at a nearby table, and gets mad breaking it as he pounds it.
I stand up and say something simiar to Bruce lee's quote from enter the dragon.
"The table, does not strike back."
(The black man talking)

"What!? What did you just say!?"

"Only a fool such as yourself, thinks he is stronger than any and everyone he threatens.
Well fight me."
The man looks at me with a shocked look and takes up my challenge.
I tell him let us fight outside in the back alley, he agrees. I take off a white suit shirt i was wearing and take my glasses off and give them to one of the asian women who watched nearby. I am now bare chested and wearing black dress pants and some black shiny dress shoes.

I get in my stance, and so does the black dude who is wearing a black dojo karate uniform. He makes his 1st move and i counter every strike that he throws in my direction.
To make it quick, i glow gold and take both my fist and strike directly toward the guys forehead. He falls backwards and looks knocked outcold. Everybody cheers and i end up the hero. They end up calling the cops on the man and a ambulance.

Meanwhile im putting my shirt on, and noticing a beautiful Asian chic approaching me.
(Asian girl talking)

"Heres your shirt and glasses."

"Thanks."

"Im Xiaoyu."

"Ah, so your the young lady that man has been looking for. You mind telling me why he was looking for you?"

"Its a looong story."

She laughs, and i laugh then i wake up.


Notes: Glad i got a good amount of sleep to finally complete both TOTM. My recall has been great so far, gonna try and keep my sleep pattern the same over the next few days.

Black means non lucid
Orange means semi lucid
Blue means lucid
Red means dream characters talking
Purple means possible shared dreaming person
Green means notes

Got it? Great! Hope you enjoy.

Dream #1 Oneironaut's Plan.

Im in some huge warehouse with Oneironaut Zero. He shows me this huge map on a table and different locations of places that we need to investigate. He is wearing some black shades, and a militant uniform with badges all on him. I reach in my pocket and grab my hawk coin and sit down in this chair while he is explaining to me this plan that he has devised.

Picking up Sinoblak.

Im in the backseat of a car, while Oneironaut is driving. It is night time, and we are driving on a highway. Oneironaut is telling me something about blending in at the place where im headed so we don't blow our cover. We pull up to this building and pick Sinoblak up. She is wearing a long black trench coat with some dark shades on and has black leather gloves on and tight leather pants with leather boots.

No turning back now.

Oneironaut is going over the plan with me and Sinoblak again. He tells us that this is no easy walk in the park, and that we need to be careful with our words once in the building.
I get out the car and Sinoblak gets out and i walk up to this building and SB stops me and hugs me and says to be careful.

4:30 -4:45 Am. Did some subconscious training and went back to bed.

WILD - Dream #2 The Romancer.

Im in some Boat, It is night time. with this beautiful Greek woman with long dark hair, and slanted eyes, and a very curvy figure. Im in bed with her telling her something about i have to leave because im putting her life at risk. She cries telling me please don't leave her and letting me know she wants to go with me. I kiss her and look back at her as i leave. I walk back to her and give her my Maroon Moonstone totem and tell her to keep it. I also mention to her that she will see me again when the time is right. We kiss eachother passionately and i head for the docks and flee thru the forest.

On the Run.

Im wanted for something, and im fleeing thru the forest hearing dogs barking and helicopters going over me. It is enough to make me lucid, and i decide to continue on with my scenario. I hear swat team members talking, as i head for one of my hideouts. Its another boat area, and im, setting up different traps and baits trying to be as quick as possible. Im hearing windows shatter, and footsteps enter the boat as i am preparing traps and things on the boat. I reach in the fridge, and grab some soda and throw some sort of pill and small object in the bottle. I duck behind the kitchen counter, and toss the bottle hearing a loud explosion. I run thru the smoke, tackling thru all the members and even taking their weapons. I shoot, stab, and take out an entire swat team of these guys.

I dive thru the carpet floor and wake up.

5:35 - 5:45 Am. Did plenty of reality checks with my totem. And a little bit of subconscious training.

Dream #3 Snake Charmer.

Im in my 2nd home fighting this giant snake lady. She has a face of a goddess, but her body is a long snake. She takes her tongue and tries wrapping it around me, I am caught in her tongue.. and managed to flee from her grip by biting her tongue. She screams and lets me loose. Im running thru different rooms as she is slithering thru the halls and take her rattlesnake tail and bashing thru walls trying to get me. She is hissing and laughing at the same time this is being done. I look at the wall as it is a dead end, I turn around and look at her and fall backwards and wake up.

False awakening.

Im in my 2nd home again and wake up in my bed I look around and notice that im here in my 2nd home, and start becoming lucid i started thinking about the TOTM. I went outside looking for a DC to possess no one in sight. i started walking around and noticed a old man sitting down at a table. I walk up to him and hear my alarm going off in wl and wake up.


Notes: I am fairly happy with my recall now. I could have went back to sleep after my last dream, but had to be up 2 hours later.

Oh yeah, this is what euphoria feels like! [Trip Report]
Alcohol, Cannabis
Date: May 3rd, 2012

Dose:
repeated, oral, Alcohol - Cabernet Sauvignon
repeated, smoked, Cannabis

Yesterday afternoon, K, the same K I always talk about but who from this point on I'll refer to as R, texted me saying that his evening plans had fallen through so I asked him if he wanted to hang out. I went over there without really intending to get too far away from sober, but at one point we decided to go get drinks at Sonic and then buy some wine and beer afterward. I'm still trying to not really drink these days, but I figured it'd be okay as long as I got a set amount and stuck to it, and stayed away from liquor. I bought a bottle of red wine, a Cabernet Sauvignon, and R bought a six pack of beer, and then we headed back to his apartment.

After R found a neighbor with a corkscrew, I started drinking pretty quickly. We watched an episode of Metalocalypse that R wanted to show me and then listened to some music, and I was feeling drunk pretty easily. Alcohol tends to hit me pretty hard most days the way I normally drink, especially when I haven't had a drink in a while. I barely checked what time it was at any point in the night, so it's hard for me to say the time frames beyond this, but we just talked about stuff for a good amount of time and kept drinking, and eventually I started to notice that my memory didn't extend very far beyond 10-20 seconds back. I decided to give it a rest as to avoid a blackout.

Ever since my tequila excursion before last where I blacked out for the first time I've been faced with a problem. Once you're on the verge of blacking out, how do you directly enhance the alcohol's high without losing awareness? But then, R brought the solution straight to me. Smoke weed! Sounds simple, no? But I realized then how accurate of a solution it is. Alcohol is said to raise phenethylamine levels in the brain, which causes D2 activation. I've had enough clothes-shedding tequila experiences to believe this is true, since my mindset, imagination, euphoria, dissociation, EVERYTHING I get from drinking tequila, and to a lesser extent other alcohols as well (I just don't drink them as fast as tequila), is characteristic of D2. The beauty of this is, THC works by raising phenethylamine levels too, to an even more significant degree than alcohol at least for me, so the D2 effects will stack without increasing the GABAergic amnesia! R only had a small amount of weed, but he had wanted to get rid of it anyway. We loaded a bowl and quickly smoked it, and it was pretty high quality. I'm also fairly certain I took another hit or two later on, but I'm not sure exactly when it was. Some time in there I also drank the last bit of wine from my cup (yes, cup ) and put the rest of the wine away; I can't remember if that was before or after that last bit smoking. There was just enough wine in the bottle left for another cup of the sizes I'd been pouring, so I took out a pretty good amount of it.

Once it had all hit me, I was just lying on the floor staring at the ceiling in ecstasy. I hadn't felt that good since way back when R and I first started getting heavy into the drug scene! The weed high was mostly assimilated into the drunkenness, rather than adding its own effects it really just potentiated what I was already feeling. Everything around me was in a constant spin and difficult to focus on, but in a very pleasant way. My body high was very intense, and I essentially felt like I was blackout drunk but not blacked out. It was pretty great. R and I ended up just talking mostly for a while, and at one point we spontaneously started improvising a skit where I had already seen some unmentioned truth and I was trying to convince him that he was keeping himself blind by resisting it, and in the end when he finally admitted to it he couldn't bear the weight of reality and ended his life, and I silently lamented his loss. It was rather satisfying considering it flowed pretty flawlessly. Eventually we were getting hungry so we decided to walk down the main street his apartment complex is off of and find some food.

The outside world was awesome! The D2 effects were in full swing here making everything look very intensely detailed and colors were highly saturated, and I felt extremely playful as far as perceiving my environment went. Combined with the memory fog of being drunk, it made the area look like a totally new place for me to explore again, despite having been there countless times. It was already around 1:00am at this point, or possibly a little later (it's hard to remember exactly), so we weren't expecting too much, but we tried to going to Del Taco first. Closed! There were people in there so we tried walking through the drive thru and they totally ignored us. We walked to Whataburger next and they were closed too, and we were considering trying the drive thru again since we know it's 24/7 for sure, but then R noticed that the Jack-in-the-Box across the street had an OPEN sign turned on in the window. Success! We stumbled over there as we had been this whole time and went inside, and I don't remember what I ordered but it was some chicken sandwich, and holy crap it was freaking fantastic. It was almost too much to handle, it was soooo good. I was still fairly full from earlier in the day when I had my 20 McNuggets celebration meal from McDonald's though, so after the sandwich and about half of my french fries I gave up. R, barely having eaten all day, ordered three sandwiches and a thing of cheese sticks, and finished my fries.

After we finished eating we walked back to R's apartment and we were both pretty beat. I told R I could sleep on the floor but he wouldn't let me, he insisted that I take his bed. (There was nothing else to sleep on like a couch or anything, it's his new apartment and he doesn't really have much furniture yet.) I'm pretty sure it only took me about five or ten seconds to pass out after my head hit the pillow. When I woke up today I was fairly dissociated, I wasn't really comprehending much of reality aside from how comfortable the bed I was in was. I rolled around sort of in a trance until finally I opened my eyes all the way and saw that my vision was so blurry it was nearly pixelated, and there was a strange filter over everything, sort of a grid of yellow, blue, red, and green dots that was creating sort of a fuzzy static noise as well, but it faded away quickly. I didn't really want to get out of bed yet at the risk of being hungover, so I just rolled around some more trying to fall asleep again. I'm pretty sure I did at least once or twice, but I was also hallucinating a fair amount. Just hypnagogic and hypnopompic stuff, I suppose this combination made them come out especially easily. At least five or six times I saw R come into the room and try to wake me up for various reasons, though he never actually did, and I knew he had really gone to work before I even woke up the first time. I heard voices coming from the room next to me a few times too, but I think they were actually coming from outside. I also spent some time looking at the ceiling and noticing what a strange pyramid-like shape it had, only to later look at the ceiling again when I actually got up and notice it was flat.

Surprisingly, there was no hangover of any kind. When I got home I did some chores and then got in the shower and felt very refreshed and energized. As I'm typing this I still feel fairly ready to do something. Definitely a good experience overall.

Black means non lucid
Orange means semi lucid
Blue means lucid
Red means dream characters talking
Purple means possible shared dreaming person
Green means notes

Got it? Great! Enjoy my dreams and make your self comfortable.

Dream #1 Who's dream is this???

Im walking down a neighborhood near my favorite aunt P's house. Its day time out and sunny, and feels like 65 degrees out. I walk to the gas station to get me some chips, Reach in my pocket to grab my hawk coin totem. Im whistling and flipping it in the air catching it with one hand while my other hand is in my pocket. I notice a black dude on his bike riding past, nothing suspicious there. I notice a old white lady walking with a cane reaching for something in her purse, nothing strange there. I look down in front of me to notice a coin similar to mines. Hmm...i question it a bit, and look up to notice it is now night time. "Huh.? How did it get night time so fast?" Ah, only one solution to that! I continue walking and notice a white chic with sandy brown hair, wearing a burgundy t shirt, some black and white converse sneakers, some ripped blue jeans, and she looked to be in her early 20's with a sort of punk rock look to her.

"Hey hows it goin?"
"Good. Um..i know this is like gonna sound strange and all..but..lol Are you like a DC?"
"Uh..noo. Im a real person."
"Cool i am too. My names heather."

"Uh..nice to meet you Heather. How did you get here?"
"Get where? Here? Lol i walked here dude."
"No no no no no. I mean..how did you get here..in my dream?"
"Lol this is not your dream dude. This is my dream."
>_< I reach in my pocket and pull out another hawk coin.
"Whats that?"
"A personal token of mine. Helps me determine if im dreaming, or sharing a dream with someone."
"Cool."

I flip it in the air, it falls on the sidewalk spinning really fast and then creating more coins.
"Whoa thats freaking awesome!"
There are now 5 coins on the ground.
"Grab one."
"Why?"
"Cause if your gonna be sharing dreams with me, im gonna need to keep track of who you are, and whether or not to confirm in my dream records if your real..or just a projection."
"But dude, i already fucking told you im real."
I stare at her. We start walking towards a house and there is a tall white blond chic who is sitting down in a chair smoking out of a bong. I see this one black dude who looked mixed with something.

(Blond chic) "Hey hey hey.. how the hell you two just walk in my house without (words sluring )with out how come knocking."
(Heather talking) "Whoa..your defintely stoned!"
(Blond chic) "Ye..yea...so what."
Me and heather start looking around the house in search of something. (don't know what)
Im rubbing my hawk coin totem, and tell heather to do the same to stabilize the dream more. We begin noticing stairs and roaches falling out of the ceiling.
"Gross! Lets get the fuck outta this place!"
"Hell this is your dream!"
We run out of the house now in a crowded outside busy intersection. I mention to her that she needs to remember that everyone around us are just projections of hers. She tells me how did i get into her dream again. I mention to her that i am certain this is my dream and she is only a projection.

We argue a bit and notice some people outside of a store ( A latino guy and a white chic with long black hair)

We approach them.
(Heather talking) "How does it feel to be a DC?"
(The girl talking) "Uh..who's dream is this?"
Me and Heather look at eachother, then look back at the girl and Heather hands her the coin and i wake up.


Notes: I am still unsure to truly know if this was an actual person so to speak. But, i keep it mark as a shared dream just in case a heather happens to stumble upon this entry. I could've had more dreams so that i can do the TOTM. But could'nt sleep due to a car alarm from one of my neighbors goin off every other hour. I managed to find some earplugs though so i can get the proper rest. Overall, im happy with my recall, and want to continue getting my lucid dreams. More subconscious training is in the works for me today!

Black means non lucid
Orange means semi lucid
Blue means lucid
Red means dream characters talking
Purple means possible shared dream person
Green means notes

Got it? Great! Now grab you a snack, and enjoy reading my dreams.


Dream #1 Fly far away crow.

Im in a spanish neighborhood fighting with some latin dudes about something. One of my old homies from Cali was with me and he told me in spanish to fly away and go someplace safe. I looked at him and told him, Gracias compadre. (Thank you partner)
"Go go, just fly far away from here i got your back homes"
I begin running and felt myself shapeshift into my crow form. I started cawing and flying thru the air, looking for a place to land. I find a nearby fruitstand abandoned, i see a latin man walk away from the fruitstand. I hop up onto the Papaya fruits, take my beak and peck away at the Papayas. I hear the man coming back out and try and get one last peck at the juicy nector of the fruit.
"Hey you pesky crow get outta here!"
He takes a broom and try swatting at me. He misses me, and i laugh at him cawing and flying up to his roof. He stands there just looking at me.
i glance back at the man cawing at him.





Notes: This was the closest song i could find to the music of this next scene of the dream.

I decide to fly off into a store, the doors were left open and there was some salsa music playing. I walk in casually pacing back and forth nodding my head and cawing to the music. A latin woman was laughing at me saying something in spanish i believe it was..(Look at that dancing crow) A man who i believed owned the store got up and tried throwing his shoe at me. He missed, and i cawed at him continuing to dance to this salsa music. Lol, The lady kept laughing and saying something in spanish about me dancing to the salsa music. Finally the latin man gets up with one shoe on and the other off, and picks up a stick, and started walking towards me. I begin running and hopping away with my little bird legs and cawing.

I flew atop a aisle of can goods, just taking my beak and pecking at the cans as they fell off the shelves. Salsa music still playing im nodding my head and cawing the entire time.
The man tries stepping over the can goods, but i fly over to another aisle and begin pecking at more cans as they roll over in his direction. The man tries hopping over the cans but slips in some juice that managed to spill from my mischievious pecks st the cans. The woman literally falls out her chair laughing at what just happened. Meanwhile i fly out of the store cawing looking to create more havoc.

I fly over to some urban community, and some nearby kids thought that it would be funny to start throwing rocks and shit at me. I get hit by one of the rocks, as i did not see it coming..and fly off into a nearby tree. Injured a bit, i rest and wake up from that dream.


4:45 - 4:55 am. Did subconscious training. And plenty of reality checks with my totem.


Dream #2 Pain is pleasure.

Im in the kitchen at my auntie L's house fixing me some snacks. It was a family gathering and everyone was dancing and having a good time. My aunt L wanted me to dance and i told her amybe in a bit, im about to eat. I noticed a older black dude slipping something into one of my cousins drink. I look at him with a fierce cold spine chilling look of stone.
"What the fuck do you think you are doing"!? "Kill that damn music!" The music stops.
I walk up to the man. "I asked you a question, what the fuck are you doing!?"
"Oh was uh..uh..just playing."
"Do i look fucking stupid or somethin to you!? Wha..what you tryna be a comedian or something?"


WARNING!!!
THE FOLLOWING DETAILS MAY BE EXTREMELY GRAPHIC IN NATURE, AND CONTAINS AN EXTREMELY HIGH DEGREE AMOUNT OF VIOLENCE, AND MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN. PARENTAL DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

Spoiler for Very Violent Nature:

I walk up to the man and grab a knife from a nearby table and look at all of my DC family members.
"Close your eyes everyone"
They all cover their eyes.
"You see...im a very peaceful loving person. I don't like hurting people, but just seems like..when you harm something or someone i love..well...you just have to feel suffering at its most extreme degree."
I take the knife and give it to the man.
"Your gonna need that if your about to defend yourself against me."
The man swipes at me and i move back and forth laughing the entire time. I finally grab his arm and pop it out his socket until his collerbone is showing. The man starts screaming and drops the knife. I yell at him.
"CUT ME DAMMIT, CUT ME!!!"
He starts tearing up crying.
"Im trying but my arm hurts!"
I grabbed the man and pull him towards me, shapeshifting into a vampire chick.
"Do you love pain as much as i do? Hmm..the way i see it is...my pleasure is your pain."
I take my nails and pierce him in his stomach. He screams and kneels to the floor.
"Aww..don't tell me you are giving up already hm? I am just getting started."
I shapeshift back into my original form.
"Why are you doing this to me?"
"Because DCs like you, need to be taught a lesson!" I hear footsteps walking towards me and feel a slight tickle behind my ear. Its Natalia.


(Natalia talking) "Aww..now why would you have all this fun without inviting me Q...hmm? Tell you what..you leave him to me and i will certainly give him pain to his fullest.
Besides...i love hearing a man scream."

I do as i am told. As Natalia is certainly a more viscious form of a projection of myself.

"Mmkay well you two have fun," I noticed all of my family DCs have vanished.
"Oh don't worry...we will."
I walk towards the front door getting ready to exit, when i turn around and notice the man on both of his knees in front of Natalia. She is standing in front of him with both her hands on her hips. She tells the man to kiss her leather boots and to call her Goddess Natalia. The man does it and she tells him is he ready to give her ultimate pleasure. (Surely he is unaware that Natalia gets off on tormenting men) She begins grabbing the knife off of the floor and telling him that his services have been good, but he fails at reaching the requirements to being her slave or something like that. She turns his head the opposite direction from hers, the man lets out his final scream.
"Noo please!"
She takes the knife and slits his throat laughing and moaning in exctasy. the man falls to the floor face first, and Natalia starts Rubbing blood all over herself moaning.

That was enough to wake me up.


7:25 - 7:35 am. Subconscious training.


Final dream: Samina"s next lesson.

Im at my 2nd home in the basement looking thru my dream records. I hear my doorbell ring, i walk upstairs and answer the door.
"Hi Dreamprofesser."
"Well hello Samina, how are you doing today"?
"Good. Um, i just thought i come over today so you can teach me some more new abilties."
"Sure, sure come in sweetheart."
She sets her hello kitty bookbag on the couch in the living room, and we walk downstairs to the basement. Samina is wearing a long sleeve black and white Looney tunes shirt, with some black pants, and black and white converse sneakers. Her hair is curly and in a long ponytail. We get downstairs in the basement and i ask her how is her mom doing.
"She's doing good, just resting up a bit".

"Good. Well ready to get started on your next lesson?"
"YAY!"
She is sitting down on a little stool holding both her arms up smiling.
"Great let me grab your records and start seeing your next lesson."
"Okey dokey, looks like shapeshifting and your usage of totems is next Samina."
"YES!!!!"
She takes her little fist and pumps it into the air. I walk over to my desk and grab her some totems from dresser drawer. I pull out marbles, Jacks, dices, chess pieces, a toy dolphin and a few other items.
"K, which one of these do you want to choose for your next totem?"
"Mmm i want that clear marble with the stars in it."
"Excellent choice Samina."
She nods and i place it in her hand. I head back to my desk and have a seat.
"Ok Samina, whenever your ready."
She nods. She takes her fingers and draws a mirror in the air, i observe and staring. She now makes a huge square shaped mirror and looks at herself in the mirror. She talks to the mirror telling the mirror she wants to become a grown up version of herself. I look and nod my head, she now tells the mirror she wants to become Dreamprofesser.


She now transforms into me wearing my suit attire. She even has my deep base voice! She says..

Spoiler for Dreamprofesser's secret fetish:

"Hi im Dreamprofesser and i like women's feet."

"Mkay thats not funny Samina, turn into someone else."
She laughs, and turns into Wonder woman and starts flexing in the mirror.
"Very good Samina, very good."
She transforms back into herself and i clap my hands and start grading her.
"You did very good Samina, im really proud of you."
"Thank you Dreamprofesser. I want to be as good as you!"
"Aww thank you Samina, that means alot to me." I hug her and tell her that she is really advancing and that she is a very smart little girl. I grade her in my dream records and walk her upstairs and tell her to come see me again soon when she wants to learn something else. She hugs me and i let her out the door. The dream fades and i wake up.


Notes: Im happy that my recall is finally back! I hope that i can become more lucid like this often to continue sharing dreams with others here on DV.

My DC Samina has been a recurring character. She looks to be 7 or 9 and looks arab or possibly indian. She is a very intelligent DC, and i obviously want to train her for various reasons.

Im hoping she can make it more easier for me to navigate thru dreams faster, and help me to seach for different people. =D

Originally Posted by The Gathering

I was in my shed hanging out smoking some legal weed, when suddenly more and more people began coming over to my house for some reason, wanting to party. We first gathered in the shed, and then the garage when we needed more room. People were talking about all hopping into their cars and going to a certain country road outside of town that recieves almost no traffic and lies at the bottom of a hill. The road is so little travelled that you can smoke weed and drink there with friends for a whole night with no interruptions. I missed backroading it since I quit smoking weed, so I wanted to go. But I didn't... I couldn't get all those people to come with me. So I went to the shed, where one girl was watching T.V. I looked at her, then looked around the room. Half-rolled blunts, roaches, all kinds of incriminating trash. I got pissed, and began cleaning it all up. I went outside to smoke, and out of nowhere it starts raining hard. So hard that I find myself swimming around in a giant puddle with some other folks....End of dream.

Originally Posted by Dream Fragment and Lucidity[/quote

Lucid Moment:
I was in the parking lot of the old apartment building that I lived my freshman year in high school. I was laying on the asphalt when a female figure came to me and began talking. I looked up at the apartment building, and then I began to think...
"I don't live here anymore... I lived here five years ago. I live in Texas now... This can't be, unless... It's a dream!" *Reality check*. "By gods, it is a dream... And I know it's a dream... Lucid dream... So just stay calm and think of something to do... Where would I go if I could go anywhere?" I settled on Chicago, closed my eyes and imagined Chicago. The dream became unstable and I moved on to the next dream.

Dream Fragment:
I was in a house with a family. The family wasn't mine... I remember something about the house having been designed by me... It was almost as if I was building the house as I dreamt. Which rises suspicion as to whether or not I was lucid during this time...

Originally Posted by The Cars

I was hanging with friends, when I walked outside and looked in the driveway. In the driveway was my father's truck, my stepmom's lincoln navigator, and my truck. Everything is as usual... Except this time around, my stepmom's navigator was towing a brand new camper, and I had one more car than usual. Behind my truck, was parked a white, crew cab 1993 Ford F-350XL with a utility shell. The same truck I owned in high school. I was excited, because I hadn't driven my old truck in so long - and excited at the prospect of owning my newer and nicer truck, while still being able to roll around in my old truck and work on it and the likes. So - I did what anyone would do in this circumstance! I hopped in and went on a joy-ride! It was bad-ass... Purely awesome times...

Some notes on the dreams:
This lucid moment was the longest and clearest moment of lucidity I've ever experienced. I was able to find out that I was in a dream, and stay within the dream for a few moments to think about it. It was awesome. Also, I noticed that my non-lucid dreams seemed to be a bit "Semi-lucid"... In that I was somehow still in control, but not aware that it was a dream. I think my lucidity may have transferred into my non-lucid dreams, giving me enhanced control of the situations... Also, I noticed that dream elements were heavily reliant on things that had happened in my real life the past few days.
For instance:
1. Me talking to my friend about how much his 1993 ford reminds me of my old ford, and that I would love to get a chance to drive my old truck again.
2. Me bitching about how people always left evidence of weed in my shed after smoking at my house.
3. Me reminiscing about smoking on the back roads.

My family and I are in transition, we are moving into a new house.

(IRL: We all live separately, until recently, my sister moved in with my mom to save money and find a job closer to mom)

My mom is showing me around, we enter what she intends to be my room.. It’s small and resembles the room I once had as a child. The walls are primarily blue in color and painted with an intricate zig zag design. I express resistance (without words) because I associate it with a room I had when I was a kid.. I feel like I should be moving forward in life rather than moving back. Mom left the room, a little deflated as if to say “I give up”. I walk up to the wall and see up close just how much effort had gone into the elaborate paint job. Suddenly, I understand that it was my mom who painted it for me. I feel bad for hurting her feelings. The colours up close are light blue, and silver, and yellow, and dark blue. Within the lines are intricate patterns and textures and I feel appreciation for my mom. I see there is a nicely made bed in the room and a dresser. On the outside wall there is a mid sized window, which looked out onto the back yard. The backyard is small but has a beautiful tree and a little garden with a red wheel barrow next to it. This room is actually quite lovely.

I leave and go to see what is meant to be my parents’ room across the hall. It is huge, and has wooden beams on the ceiling. It’s empty and extremely dirty. The floors are wooden and unfinished. There are dry leaves in the corners of the room. I look to the windows which are at the top of the wall touching the ceiling, and realized that this part of the house was under ground. I imagine the house is built into a hill. The windows look into wells, which are dirty metal, and full of leaves. As I walk further into the room I see the glass is no longer there, and so this explains where all the leaves came from. The closet doors are missing, and inside they are empty. I feel like there is door to an attic in there but never actually see it myself. This room has a lot of potential to be really beautiful but it has not been cared for in a long time. I wonder where my sister’s room is so I leave to go find it.

I see that there are only 2 bedrooms and my sisters bed is made up in the middle of the living room (not touching any walls, literally in the middle) It is a double sized mattress on top of planks of wood. On top lays fresh bed linens with yellow and orange blankets. And a fluffy pillow.

Mom really loves us. She gives us so much more than we realize. Even now she still puts us before herself.

Suddenly I become really tired. I want to go to sleep now but I can’t, I have to go to school. Wait a second? What school? Highschool? Ahhhg I have to go back to high school?! FUCK! I thought I was finished with that? I can’t believe this, I’m 27 years old, living with my parents and I haven’t even finished highschool. Negative self talk commences and I start asking myself stuff like "when did I become such a loser. Why have I let so much time pass?! It’s my fault that my life sucks. It’s my own carelessness that has gotten me into this mess. What am I going to do now?"

I decide not to go to class that day. I know I cant afford to lose any more time, but I don’t care. I've decided I’m going to spend the day sleeping.



Ok so this “forgetting to finish highschool” has become a repeating theme in my dreams. As soon as my dream takes this sort of turn I become overwhelmed with feelings of panic, worry, fear…Like I’m in a nightmare. I assume it has a lot to do with my birthday coming up. I tend to get life path related anxiety when my birthday grows near. “What am I doing with my life, why am I so far behind, why didn’t my past self give a crap about where I’d be in the future?” can very much be applied to me in my waking life. (Although I did graduate highschool and completed some college)

When I woke up I looked at the clock and it had only been 3 minutes since my alarm went off. Confirming my suspicion that my inner clock moves WAAAAAAAAY faster when I sleep.