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I was playing the original GTA, complete with the top-down view and bright pixels. I apparently found a location where a bunch of pedestrians are having a parade. This being the GTA world, of course I stole a car and began driving into crowds to boost my score multiplier. I somehow lost my place, and had to start again somewhere in the map looking for the parade. When I found it again, it's not as vibrant or populated as it was before.

I then hear news commentary of the parade, like it was a television broadcast, only the anchors had no comment on my actions. Instead, it was just a bunch of mundane, inaccurate factoids. The two I remember were "did you know San Francisco only exports 16 apples annually?" and "The biggest school is a school in China that is 19,000 square feet."

Then my alarm wakes me up.

Morning of December 2, 2013. Monday.



In my dream, there are two scenarios, the first one involving the refurbishing of an old wooden house in a rural area. It is high up on stumps (high enough to freely walk around under) and I look closely at the underside of the floor, noting the way the floorboards appear. This unknown house, as with our house in real life, has very thin floorboards with gaps between them. I start to wonder about how it is possible to actually walk in the house, let alone have any sort of furniture anywhere in it. I notice areas where there are smaller clusters of thicker, harder pieces of wood stuck or nailed into the bottom, somewhat equidistant in a grid pattern across the underside of the house, apparently for a bit of extra support, with additional areas of some sort of resin sloping away from the sections. The main idea here is that there are two men who disagree about what to do with the house and I am supposedly there to help, but I am not sure what to do about their predicament. It seems they have equal say in its fate. One wants to fix it up a lot better by redoing parts of it, the other does not want to bother and just wants to add a bit of patchwork, which would possibly result in a house that no one will be able to live in. Meanwhile, an unknown rural sheriff or game warden sits on a porch telling me about all the misadventures of the two men. He seems very cheerful, loud, and excited in his speech, repeating the highlights of their more recent misadventures and continuing redundant-in-theme encounters, laughing as if sharing a great comedic yet predictable legend.

Later, I am with a few unknown people and we discover two young animals that are about the size of a large cat. I hold them the most as a few other people come and go. The first one; I tell someone that it is a baby bear. However, I then notice that it has long ears and see that it is actually an arctic hare. I correct my error and talk about what it actually is as I stroke the soft long ears. The other animal turns out to be a young arctic fox. It is beautiful and calm. I pet it and stroke the bushy, soft tail. The two animals need a bit of care for now and we keep them close by. There is almost a mystical feeling as I enjoy the natural surroundings within my dream even though it is now a snowy landscape (unlike the first dream segment). The vividly rendered detail of the setting is quite precise and emotionally soothing. The hare is almost completely pure white except for a bit of darker gray around the top of the ears and the fox is the same way, but with a bit of lighter gray on the tip of its tail. They act in a very calm and passive manner instead of trying to run away.

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Testing

12-01-13 I was walking down a rode when I see the entire roe has collapsed and the sea is swelling in and out of it like a feord. I am suprised to see how dangerous, deep, and powerful the swell is. The ground it is swelling up and down on lokks deadly. Suddenlly someone jumps in for fun. I become a bit lucid at this and watch. Many people are swimming and jumping in. It is crazy realistic and I am sure in real life would be a death trap. But, in the dream even children are getting in. The swell rise and falls about 25 feet. I see three children grab the rim on an up swell and throw them selves back when there is no sea below them. Before they hit the up swell came back and they are safe.

Ok, this actually looks fun. I decide to try it out. I jump, but all of a sudden the road is back and a car almost hits me. There is now no sign of the sea and this is a movie set. I see all the activity involved with making film.

This was between snooze alarms, so it goes off and I have to get up.

12/01/13 It started with a dream in which I could not get my video game to work. I was using something like a PSP. I needed to first target ghost and then use a different button to fire. The targeting was not working and the ghosts got too close to me (outside the game). I started striking the things with the game, and saw they were now bugs.
I became lucid and looked around. I was in Robb's old back yard from grade school. A hose was running and I examined it. It was cutting away a large amount of ground and collapsing the yard into a pond. I moved the hose into the pond. I lost recall at this point. I think I woke up or something.

12/01/13 I was lucid during this, but it was nREM and I was not iin much of a dream body. The idea was that me and Haveago were trying to work with WakingNomad to figure out how we could use our DV points to heal his nerve damage. I just observed, knowing this was silly and a dream. I would have choosen to be non-lucid if I could as I needed the rest. The scene also involved super-imposed images of us 3 looking into tide pools as if somehow the answer was in there. This silly dream looped at least 5 times. Sigh. Best to not be lucid for this stuff if you ask me.

12/01/13 Time to start pushing my recall a bit. So here is last nights non lucids (starting to have more of these now that I focused on it).

1) non-lucid/ I had somehow commited to marry a girl I dated many years ago, and we were traveling. I ended up alone in the hotel and got a call from another girl. I realized I did not want to marry the first girl, but was unsure how I could get out of it.

2) non-lucid/ I woke up in a store or something. I had some how slept hidden behind a counter. I noticed it was a health club or gym. The story morphs to where I am just watching. The guy who takes the role I was in helps him self to food he is not entitled to and then will not leave. I am again in the role and am searching for my shoes. Someone points out that they are on my feet. Prespective switches back to me observing some else. They are all outside and everyone is dissing this guy trying to get him to leave. Someone gives everyone but him a large drink that is purple, but gives him a small urine colored drink.

Dream

I was in this small animal shelter, which was supposed to be located in a seedy part of town. I was flipping through a spiral notebook which on each page had a different business that was in this bad part of town. I was looking for a job, and figured the safest place to work would be at the animal shelter. A DC woman who worked at the shelter was telling me how they put down dogs. She said a lot of people come to watch, and they chop the dog up with a scalpel and sometimes the person doing the procedure will chop them up slowly which makes them suffer more. Whoa brain, feeling a little gruesome last night were we? Anyway, this information didn't bother me in the least, it was something of normalcy.
Then I remember walking with my mom in the parking lot of the shelter and across the street to do something, I'm not sure what.

Fragment 1

I was calling apartment complexes that were out of state, but instead of being interested in my own apartment to rent, I wanted to live with the person I called in their apartment. I was scared no one would pick up, since they would see an out of state number calling, but when a lady finally said Hello? I got nervous and hung up.

Fragment 2

I remember being out on a grassy area, I think it was supposed to be a playground. I had a best friend whom was a boy and we were running across the field, our destination this little brick building, I think it may have been a bathroom or something. I remember someone kicking a soccer ball from behind me and it flew over my head and I was afraid it would hit me.

These are my current notes.
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28/10/13 5:37AM
I was taking a shower in some small room, to the left of me was a door with a glass centre, the walls and door except the glass where white.
while I was taking a shower, a big grey ( around 8 foot tall) I saw through the window of the door, I started to get scared, as he came towards me, opening the door, I fell on the flood, trying to kick the door closed, he was stronger than my feet, and managed to get the door open. He came towards me and that's all I remember.
Oh throughout the entire event, there was a humming sound, kind of sounded like a binural beat, a coming and going of a hum like this line -
--##--##--##--##--##--##--##--##--##--##
that's how the humming came and went, it was kinda slow.
This dream was quite vivid, I remembered it as if it had just happened to me, still not fading in my mind.

I don't remember seeing my spirit guide being in this dream.
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28/11/13
I was at my house, on the road when a very slow flying missle / bomb plane dropped in the neighbors front yard, I was standing on the road with someone, we both went running when we remembered / realised "oh shit" it's a nuke!!.. so we started running, than as if in slow motion, the bomb blew, and the shock wave slowly reached me, and my friend after, disintegrating us. seen in great detail. I was at peace at that last moment, I was ok with dying.

bomb. externally controlled missle/small aircraft. I was OK with this dying.
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29/11/13
cubensies , growing huuge, as tall as my knee caps, some guy there.. at this garden, his normal garden, looked like he started it not long ago. he was another me.. but not me...?

cubensies, fertile soil, some other person there as well.. possibly a friend but shadowed.

another dream that night someone's postage was tracked by police, it was someone I met only once, he managed to realise what was going on and got away before authorities got there. Don't remember spirit guide in this one.
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3/12/13
just a note: After going to a party at my best friends house, some of his friends came over at night, we started eventually talking about lucid dreams and such. They 100% think ther person in all my dreams is my spirit guide. He's a shadowed figure with perhaps a tophat like a detective? Tall guy.
space for Dream;

non lucid
*I put in a letter request to amitabha for someone to be reborn in sukhavati.
*Some old chinese man jumped into a deep cave for a reason I believe wasn't good enough.
*Montre keep talking about how in cally they have shops were they sell gang related clothing. I thought in my head how retarded.
*Lama dojree was giving one of his students a hug telling that person he loves them.
*I was in a three month class just for lucid dream. There were these people in the class that had no interest in lucid dreaming. I said to them it makes to sense at all why your here! I also said to them how do you know which is real waking life or dreaming life.

Nice that for once, my dreams aren't so fragmented and pointless.

I was at some movie theater (or just regular theater for plays and such) and my family was watching some performance. I can't even remember if what was shown was a movie or a play.
But after it was over, we got outside and everyone save for me wanted to talk about the themes of (whatever it was we just saw) but I wasn't interested. I don't think I had enjoyed it as much as my family. So I had to wait patiently while they talked. Fortunately, it didn't take them too long.
We changed topics to who was going to ride in who's car. I got with my grandfather. It was just me and him in his car. We pulled out of the theater and were in a pretty remote looking rural community.
He turned out of the theater, it was a bland building and went to the right. After about a quarter mile the road became dirt and turned to the left. I also remember there being a sign saying "watch for poop" and thinking that was funny.
We wound up outside this farm house built on a small hill. Most of it was surrounded by a dense, lush forest. I got out, and all of my cousins were there. The farmer came out and introduced himself. I think he had some really generic name like "farmer Joe" he started giving us a tour of his farm by gesturing to in different directions and telling us what there was. I was excited because he had goats (what!? I like goats!) I know he also had chickens, roosters and three cats.
He told us we were going to be helping out on his farm. He gave me this metal tool that looked sort of like a big two-pronged fork. (I have no idea if that's a real farming tool to be honest.) and told me that the cats would lead me to my work spot.
I began to run after the cats. Because the farm was in a rural area, I was running through a maze of trees and bushes to get there; I woke up trying to find my work assignment.

i know this seems like a really pointless post as its just a dream fragment... but i think it will be good to start my journal up again after a few years i got up to recalling 6-12 dreams a night yonks ago but now i will have 1 or 2 and they are pretty fragmented.

#1
All i remember is dreaming about my friend eileen i think we were on a train.

reason:
the next day i was catching a train into the city and my friend eileen was maybe coming.

Dream of: 26 November 2013 "When Buddha Was Buried"

Clifford (whom I first met when we attended the 7th grade together in 1964) and I are in a house (which somewhat resembles the Grandview Avenue House in Portsmouth where I lived with my mother in 1970). Clifford (around 30 years old) seems to be living in this house, although I'm not quite sure of that. Clifford's wife is also in the house.
I have a little bit of marijuana which I intend to smoke in the basement. I know that Clifford is straight and I don't think he has ever smoked pot, or at least not more than once or twice in his life. I think that trying pot would be good for him for him and that he would benefit from getting high. I invite him to descend to the basement and smoke with me and he seems to agree to do so. I say, "You're going to get so happy."
He comes down to the basement with me. I light up a joint, take a couple hits, and hand the joint to him. He takes two or three hits. I wish he would take more, but he has to go back upstairs. I hope he smoked enough to feel it.
A pudgy girl (15-16 years old) walks half-way down the basement stairs and stands there. She's dressed in white and wearing a rather short skirt. As she's leaning over the banister, I hold the remaining little bit of the joint close to her face just as it goes out. My finger is so close to her face, I almost feel like tickling her chin, but I don't. I wonder how old she is and I reflect that she's clearly too young for me. She walks back upstairs and disappears.
I see Clifford standing up at the top of the stairs. I'm wondering if he's high, but I can't really tell by looking at him. I'm feeling the marijuana, but only moderately. Clifford reaches down and hands me a paperback book with a colorful cover on which is printed the title "Buddhism". I say something like, "I like Buddhism. I like to think about it."
I open the book and discover that one section of the book has come loose from the binding and has been stuck in the back of the book. The first page of that section has a chapter heading at the top which reads, "Hallucination". This seems like a perfect example of my belief of the relationship between Buddhism and drugs: both Buddhism and drugs are involved with the subject of hallucination. I appreciate the book and I tell Clifford that I like to think about the intricacies of Buddhism.
I abruptly have a memory of Clifford having given me something else about Buddhism just yesterday or the day before. I try to remember what he gave me and I seem to recall seeing a picture of the grave of Buddha. Recalling in my mind the picture of a freshly dug mound of dark-brown dirt under which Buddha was supposedly recently buried, I try to describe my sudden memory of the the picture by blurting, "Oh, when Buddha was buried."

So when I first recall the dream, I am with a group of my friends about to enter into a house. It looks perfectly normal on the outside: a standard, middle-class American house, painted a medium blue in color and two stories. I am unsure why we are going inside, but I am with my friends so I follow them on in.

Coming inside I find us in what seems to be an exceptionally long hallway with only the way we came in and another door that continues on into the home. My friends quickly run through the next door, leaving me behind. Running to catch up with them, I'm surprised to find that when I follow through the door they are no where in the room, and I come upon a kitchen. It's completely void of life and when I holler for my friends I get no response. Concerned, I turn back around and go back through the door that I had just entered through.

However, to my dismay, I am not back in the hallway. Now I'm in a bathroom and there is a girl sitting on top of the toilet cover, a laptop in her lap as she steadily types away. I'm highly confused at this point and attempt to speak with her, asking her where my friends are, but she seems to blatantly ignore me and continues typing on her keyboard. I leave her to go through the door I entered once more and find myself in yet another room. I am steadily freaking out at this point, quickly running through doors and rooms to try to find my friends and get myself out of that house. Occasionally I come across people but they act as if I do not exist at all and ignore any interaction.

I run quickly through as many doors as I can, and I finally come across a door that looks different, this one painted entirely black as opposed to the plain wooden doors that made up all the others. I reach for the knob and slowly open the door. Just as I open it all the way, an external force in reality awakens me and draws me from the dream.

Dream of: 25 November 2013 "Anti-Gun"
*
I'm out in the country at a brick house on a large lot owned by my mother. The house sits on the side of a hill with a thick forest behind it up on the hillside. Another house also sits on a large lot next-door on the side of the hill. I go outside and witness some commotion taking place next door - the police are over there. As I watch the activity, I gather that a gun has been lost from the neighboring house and that the police are investigating the loss. Finally, the neighbor - a tall thin man around 40 years - emerges from the back of the neighboring house with a large military gun which sits on a tripod. I know that this is the gun which was supposed to have been lost. The police leave.
The man proceeds to lug the gun over into our yard, set it up, and start shooting up into the trees behind our house. Then he returns to his house with the gun.
I'm infuriated by what I've just seen. I know that my mother lives out here alone and I don't know whether she has given the neighbor permission to shoot the gun in her yard like that. I also know that my mother is incapacitated and can hardly move around.
I have my own problems: I have some kind of disease and I'm also hardly able to move. I can't walk and I'm pulling myself around on the ground. I manage to pull myself back inside our house where I'm surprised to find the neighbor's tall thin blond-haired son (around 20 years old) walking around the house. When I ask him whether he has permission to be in this house, he ignores me and continues walking around the house.
A woman walks into the house. She at least is friendly. I talk with her and learn that she is a housekeeper for the neighbor, from which I conclude that the neighbor must have a little money if he can afford a housekeeper to stay in the house when he isn't there.
The son walks back into the living room and leaves a fishing rod lying on the floor. I think about standing up and throwing the fishing rod outside, but I can hardly move and I'm unable to do that.
My mother walks into the room. She's up and walking around, but she doesn't look like herself. She's a thin woman probably about 50 years old. I ask her about these people, but she doesn't seem to respond to my questions. It looks as if I'm going to have to take matters into my own hands.
Suddenly I notice that the neighbor is actually sitting in an easy chair right here in the living room. Now he's wearing glasses and he looks oriental. I know this is the same fellow (even though he looks different) and I tell him he has to leave. I say, "Look buddy, I don't want you in this house. Are you going to leave or not."
My problem is that this house belongs to my mother and I'm not sure what she thinks about all this. If this were my house, I would be doing things differently and I wouldn't be standing for any of this. Since the house belongs to my mother, however, I don't actually have the authority to throw anyone out. Nevertheless, even without authority, I'm throwing the man out.
I'm thinking that I'm going to tell the neighbor and his son that I'm "anti-gun". I don't believe in guns. I don't even believe in military guns. I think I might even say that I'm a vegetarian - which seems somehow related to being anti-gun - but I decide it isn't appropriate to bring up that subject at the moment. Along that line of thought, however, I think that when the neighbor was shooting into the trees, he would have hit any birds or squirrels or other animals which might have been in the trees. I reflect that I've witnessed quite an amazing chain of events here.
In his left hand the neighbor is holding a book with a dust jacket which he has found here in the house. He pulls out a cigarette lighter and sets the book on fire. He stands up and throws the book on the carpet in the corner of the room. The fellow then walks out of the house. I immediately view this as a case of arson and I think I must call the police. I walk toward the book to see if the house is catching fire.