Night of July 19, 2018. Thursday. Now I will move on to more specific patterns relating to the nature of the dream state. Having held such a keen interest since early childhood, and never losing that focus, I find it virtually impossible to make much sense out of most sources implying they are about dreams. Even much content on lucid dreaming does not correlate with anything I have ever experienced. People who have never studied dreams (especially for a lifetime, as I have), or experienced them through every sleep cycle at various levels of liminality and lucidity, and continuously validated reactive representation in the dream state (thus being aware what dreams are actually doing), have no credibility in trying to convince people that their beliefs mean anything. They have no business even writing about them any more than if I knew nothing about cars (other than perhaps what I gleaned from “Archie” comic books) but wrote a book about them (and, since many people know a lot about cars, imagine their reaction). Still, the purpose of this series is not to address such fallacy but to review the nature of the waking process and the various forms of the emerging consciousness and to what extent it can be monitored and understood. Lucidity, liminality, and subliminal focus vary from dream to dream. Ultimately, it is unlikely for someone to establish full control of ultradian rhythm, as it seems to be affected by diet and amount of exercise. (The WBTB or Wake Bake To Bed method results in disruption of ultradian rhythm but most people who practice it misunderstand this.) I always strive to make the best of what I have. What habits did I have regarding the dreaming process as I grew up? A habit I have had since I was very young is the “lighting a candle” metaphor in coming out of an uncertain state of semi-consciousness. That eventually resulted in vivid semi-lucid dreams such as the one where I used lightning to set a tall church belfry afire. Some people like to talk about symbolism in dreams but fail to discern the incidental visual associations. I have always been fascinated by hypnagogia as well, where forms continuously transform based on visual similarity, even when I am at least partly monitoring the state. Hundreds of different unrelated images occur in only a short time. What are some other metaphors (in addition to the “lighting a candle” focus) of the waking process that I deliberately established very early in life? The most obvious and consistent was the opening of a door. This intent always had two results, either vivifying my dream, sometimes exponentially in ways that defy belief, other times merely serving to wake me. These two potentials are always understood while in the dream state whether or not I am lucid, probably because they operate this way in real life. For example, if I want to “escape,” I create a door or doorway and use it as such. If I want to vivify my dream or create a different scenario, I create a door (though sometimes slide an entire wall as if it was a sliding door). It does not even have to be a typical door. For example, in my “Old Shack” dreams, I created and used the abandoned ruins of a rose trellis arched gateway as a doorway back into waking life (to escape from a pterodactyl, which simultaneously transformed into a falling sparrow - events such as this helped me understand more about reactive representation in the dream state). Another form of reactive representation I created very early in my life was the bridge metaphor. That goes back so far that my mother used to tell me how I relayed this about dreams when I was a toddler. As with doors, I used bridges either to “escape” a dream scenario or to find my way to a different one. Sometimes such associations became mixed. For example, I would open a door inside my house and then see the ocean, as if the hallway was a bridge of sorts (which makes sense, as both represent routes of focus). I would jump from a bridge and land upon a stack of windows. The list goes on. While there is not that much that can go wrong with a door, bridges can collapse or sink into the water. Staircases and elevators can serve as viable dream state mediation but can go wrong as well. As with cars, elevators are sometimes too small to get inside. They sometimes drop to the floors below before I can enter them. They are also more of a projection of illusory physicality (vestibular system correlation) than as with a bridge or door. Ultimately, it is up to the dreamer to decide which reactive representation of RAS mediation and modulation serves them in the most viable way. Once the foundation is made and understood, it is unlikely to change. Some people choose to give themselves nightmares or erratic dreams. They may ignore beneficial transpersonal factors as if the interconsciousness does not exist to them. (As an analogy, they might not even have any grasp of why forest ecosystems work or why the food chain is at it is. They might invent a magical process to “interpret” such systems.) Others have learned what the dream state is and how to make the best of it. Readability score: 57.
Completely non-dream stuff: Just making a little note here, to remind myself that the past couple of nights I haven't been able to recall my dreams, for no particular apparent reason, other than the fact that my sleep is naturally poor. Last night I compromised with my partner and made the radio stop coming on in the morning and I turn it back on for him after I've gotten up from bed (it's helpful for him to wake up). So we will see if this helps improve dream recall, as the voices from the radio were quickly making me forget details on some mornings, if it wasn't quiet enough. However, over the last few days, since I've started keeping this DJ and reading the dreams of others, I have started to remember to do RCs in waking life more often, so that's a positive.
Created Monday 23 July 2018 Well, at least I got some fragments to note. Scrap Group 1 Playing a multiplayer Tales of game (Phantasia or Eternia?). At home. I tied my hair, only for the knot to fall off completely. At a hotel with family. Later, we visit some distant relatives in a fancy condo complex. I fly around while seated crosslegged to show off, but no one seemed to care. I'd acknowledged these were "dream powers", but wasn't lucid. Watching My brother playing Sonic Mania. Flying Battery Zone was now the penultimate stage. He missed the last few Special Stages in the game.
Updated 07-24-2018 at 02:18 AM by 89930
I was in what looked like Lucky Landing from Fortnite. I walked behind a tree or lamp post where a man was standing. As he walked by me, I grabbed him and stabbed him the back. He fell to the ground bleeding. I walked a bit away and then turned back, feeling extremely guilty. I picked him up and walked over to this guy dressed in an army outfit. Then, I took him to another place where he was finally healed. He got up and became very friendly with me. He was very happy to be alive and was thanking me for saving him. He didn't know it was I who had stabbed him. I felt guilty and nervous that he would find out. His girlfriend came along and thanked me as well. The dream shifted as we were now in front of my house but it felt like it was located where Owen's old house stands. The idea was that we were setting up this large corporate head into an illegal scam that would prove he was a bad guy and put him away. He looked like that guy that preaches at that massive church that denied victims of the hurricane in Texas. Anyways, we were down in the drive way talking about the shady deal and he had accepted. He was talking when he started to realize it was illegal and his words became gradually more suspicious. Police came and took him. A news van showed up and my mom tried to get us in front of the camera to talk about the situation. It was all my Mom's idea. I get up to the camera and I don't really know what to do with myself, I'm just kind of smiling awkwardly at the camera. I'm in a small town in a different state, maybe different country. I'm with a friend or two. We stroll up to this ancient white temple that is growing with vines and seems to be very dirty. For some reason I think that this is where a girl that I used to talk to went after high school to play tennis. We go inside. The first floor is a mix between tennis courts and some old spa. The inside is softly lit, covered in moss and dirt, with a ring of small openings in between columns surrounding the outside of the room. My idea is that it's like a secret on how to get up to the next level of the temple. I climb into one of the openings and realize there's a path that goes around the outside of the room but it's absolutely covered with spider webs occupied by spiders. I'm getting a little bit tangled up in one when Thomas finds an opening that was closer to the entrance. We get up to the second level and it looks similar to the first level except the ceiling is higher. Hanging in the middle of the room from the ceiling is a dead body. We go up to a ledge closer to the ceiling and find a lot of old n64 video games I've never heard of. I remember it felt like we had come a long ways. I wanted to bring all of the games with me but I didn't have enough arm space, there were simply too many. I grabbed a game labeled "Chim" and threw it down to Owen. At some point I remember one of us had cut the dead body down from the ceiling like we had defeated something. We eventually went outside and came back in a few times. One time we came back in, it felt like there were defenders coming to kill us. We had to dodge around the levels until we could escape. I left the temple and realized I was now at Westview summer camp at the main area. In my head, I was visiting my old college again and people from my fraternity were there. I started to run down the path towards the lake. I could hear people screaming or chanting in the woods. As I got closer, I realized that they were all collectively running towards me up the path. I make a 180 turn and book it back up to where I came. As I arrive, the guys pile in behind me. Some come greet me while others who I don't recognize walk into the main building. I go inside and it seems like it's some sort of bedtime now. I'm lying down looking around the room at the new members. They looked like they were 10 years old. One had a talking white bird on his shoulder. I was wearing glasses. Looking at that kid, I realized he was signaling for me to get the attention of his friend. I look at his friend and then look back and forth at them to signal this exchange.
I changed my alarm back this morning from 5:15 to 5:05. I also put the 11pm a bit quieter. I got off computer at 10:30 as normal and meditated for a half hour. Turned off alarm and put on sleep mask and went to sleep. Woke up to 5am alarm. I sat up and said I would be going back to sleep very soon. I set a few intentions and tried to recall any dreams to no success. I laid still for what only felt like a few minutes. I felt some vibrations, and then I felt some more running across my body. I tried super hard to form a dream and then I remembered that was my mistake the other day. I relaxed and let it come to me naturally. I tried to tell the dream to put me at my old house. I saw the dream in front of me, but it was like looking at a small low res screen surrounded by darkness. I knew I was in the dream already because of how colorful it was, but I wondered how I'd pull myself into the full dream. I imagined I was viewing the dream through some sort of camera. (I was wearing my sleep mask which is likely the cause of all this) I took a deep breath and put down the camera on a table in front of me and my FOV expanded completely. I was now in the dream. It was extremely vivid. I could see everything clear as day. I was at a strange house that was kind of a mix between my old one and this one. There was a barbecue or something going on because my whole family was there, including cousins. I rubbed by hands together and knelt to the ground. I felt the concrete texture and then I punched it a few times to test its solidity. The dream was so real and stable. I then remembered something about keeping lucidity by playing music in the background so I tried that to no success. I didn't think to try other methods of summoning music aside from pure will. I gave up on that and went back to the house. I said to myself the house would transform as I entered the door. It would change to the house I wanted it to be. I opened the door and found it was still the weird mix of homes instead of the one I wanted. At one point I entered the void. I do not recall if I fully recovered from it or not, but I do recall taking off my sleep mask and still seeing the void. I realized I was still dreaming and tried to bring back a dream but as I said, I think I failed. Gah...Accomplished a lucid via WILD, but it was shortlived and I succeeded in none of my goals. Oh well, just another step towards my goals! I also remembered another dream throughout the night. I was doing yoga with a room full of people. There was no set routine, but a few of us noticed that the majority of the people were doing a routine in sync. They were all mirroring the exact same movements at the same time, looking stone faced in a single direction. There were murmurs throughout the people that something weird was going on. I admitted I couldn't do yoga and talked to my dream crush. I can't say I fully recognize her irl. She reminded me of a mix between a previous acquaintance and an previous coworker. Both of course I had found attractive. We struck up a conversation about the yoga people and then I asked her to dance. I said I didn't know how and she got all happy. She said she'd like to teach me and she was glad I asked. She offered me her hand and I put my hand in hers, and then I put my other hand on her hip and she started telling me what to do from there. I was in bliss while the dream faded away. Dang. I sure am lonely, but that dream was real nice. No, I do not do yoga. I am neither in the shape or is it something I am interested in. But I should probably go dancing.
Morning of July 23, 2018. Monday. Dream #: 18,844-02. Reading time: 52 sec. I maintain threads of my waking life, including my recall of Zsuzsanna and our family. There is an unknown woman who has a daughter who is possibly mine. The only way to prove this would be for me to get a DNA test. It is supposedly a painful process, but I am willing to take it by the end of my dream. A positive result will mean the girl will live with us. At one point, I move my hand over the girl’s temple. It has a soft, raised area. I check my own and find the same feature. I talk to the members of my family about the identifying feature they have as well. I still need to confirm the DNA test. I am wary of it at first. On one level, there is no logic, as there is no implication I had known the woman even though I am the girl’s father. The girl does not look like any of my real children, so I consider I may be wrong. During the DNA test, I am ready for the pain, though I do not experience any. A male android pushes a big needle into my left wrist. I am lying on my back on a table. A glass box is above me, where icicles grow from the top.
Updated 07-23-2020 at 03:48 PM by 1390
Morning of July 23, 2018. Monday. Dream #: 18,844-06. Reading time: 26 sec. I talk with our oldest son about audio recordings. Zsuzsanna had some of her cassettes and 45 rpm records out. Much of what I say is nonsensical, and although I am unsure of how correct it is, I continue to try to resolve what I am saying. My idea is that music is magnetic and sticks to the nearest objects, which is supposedly a factor in the production of records and cassettes. Although cassette recordings near magnets can lose their content, I am unable to explain that. Our son appears to be puzzled as I talk about how sound remains on records because of a magnetic field. He does not debate.
Updated 07-23-2020 at 03:16 PM by 1390
Date of Dream: MON 23 JUL - 2018 Dream No. 381 - All The Lids Are Off I don't remember much about this dream. From where I do remember, my dad and I went into this random supermarket that resembled the look and feel of a general IGA store. We were buying some food supplies, snacks especially. I said that there was an item, I have forgotten what it was though, near the freezer but then I saw that it in fact wasn't there. I then dragged my dad around the rest of the shop, seeing what other snacks I wanted to buy. There was a big, tall box in front of the register that had all these tubs of chocolate mousse in it. I dipped my finger into one of the tubs for a taste test and after that, had my mind set on getting some to take home. Unfortunately though, none of the tubs had lids on them and so I couldn't buy any. The lady at the register said that someone by the name of Frodo took the last tub, insinuating that he had stolen it. Then this hologram of Frodo Baggins appeared above the register, staring menacingly at me but I didn't feel like I had the capacity to fight him. That's all I can remember for this dream. Dream Tasks - Have Logan receive harsh penalties from Dreamy WB due to reckless social behaviours (Achieved? Partially) - Have Dreamy WB or Murray go to console an upset dream character (Achieved? No) - In case of extended absences with Dreamy WB, train Murray on how to provide in-dream discipline to unruly parents (Achieved? No) Challenges - Start the dream off with Dreamy WB already present (Achieved? No) Dream 381: Results (Competition #5) Competition Night: 22 Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Non-Lucid Dream Guide: None Emergency Team: None Eligible For Competition Points: Yes Points For This Entry: 7.5 Calculation Details: - Non-Lucid Fragment (0.5) - 7-Day Recall Chain (7.0) + Previous Total: 107.5 Total Accumulated Points: 115.0
Date of Dream: SUN 22 JUL - 2018 Dream No. 380 - Separated Sections Dream 380 A - No Way Into DreamViews I don't remember how the dream started. From where I do remember, I was in some random parking lot of an unknown shopping centre. I was on one of the levels of the car park, talking to one of my friends CF. In the middle of the car park complex was a lift shaft that covered 10 stories. CF was asking me if I wanted to come with her but I felt apprehensive. Then I came to my conclusion, I still wasn't ready. I tried calling out for Dreamy WB many times but nothing happened. After a while of CF patiently waiting for me, she decided to enter the lift, asking one last time if I was coming with her. I said, “Dreamy WB's not with me and so I can't. What level are you going to?” and CF tells me, “level 27,500”. My mind figured out that the level numbers were actually going up by 2,500, so this was actually level 11 of the car park. The next scene was back in my bedroom. I had supposedly woken up from the dream and it was night time... But I don't usually go for my phone when it's dark in real life. In this perception of being awake, I switched on my phone and tapped into the DreamViews forum website. When I was on it as a guest, I could see that I had some notifications, consisting of many likes and comments. No matter how many times I tried to log into my account, the dream wouldn't let me. In guest mode, I navigated myself to a post that I remember posting recently. One of the users, Jewel, had left a comprehensive reply, quoting many aspects of the post I had written. I can't remember exactly what the post was about, only that I was explaining my “dream concepts” again and Dreamy WB was mentioned. I wanted to reply back but I remembered I couldn't until I was logged in, so I tried for more attempts... Ultimately failing and the dream just leading me back to the DreamViews home page with different or missing labels on the top bar. I then thought to message spellbee2 about the login button not being available but the messaging option disappeared as well! And now it was a very empty function bar... For the third scene, I was at my old house, just in between the sitting room and the kitchen. In real life, the side alley of the house was just a skinny strip of concrete. In the dream, this was replaced with a large area containing the exact same lift shaft that was in the car park in the first scene. For a moment, I just stood there paralysed, thinking to myself “Shit... How did that get there?”, referring to the lift shaft. When I was finally able to calm myself down, I started frantically calling for Dreamy WB, multiple times, at a really fast pace. This time, when she wasn't coming, I began to get nervous again. My brother came to see what was going on and I hinted to him about Dreamy WB but didn't reveal the exact intention or who I wanted to do it with. He walked to the front door and looked out the window beside it to check if there were any changes to the dream response... All I told him is that I'm expecting someone to come. I then came to the window and my brother walked back into the kitchen to join my mum. When I looked through the window, I finally saw Dreamy WB emerging from the distance, casually strolling down Cleveland Court. She was going to reach my house sooner or later so I positioned myself at the front door, readily anticipating when she would reach the door. Just as she entered under the car port, I opened the door and greeted her. Just as she was about to step into the house, I just stood there for a fraction of time, assessing her appearance. In this dream, her features were fairly accurate; only some extremely minor distortions. Her hair though was more of an orange colour in this dream, almost like a light rust. The do was a bun but it wasn't at the centre of the top, it was only slightly more downwards towards the back, but still close to the top of the head. She was wearing her year 12 hoodie with black leggings and white shoes at the bottom. So once she stepped in, we hugged each other and stayed locked in the hugging position for the rest of the dream. And here's one thing I find strange, I didn't think to the shut both the wooden door and wire door and rather just obliviously left them open. In the hugging position, she walked me into the kitchen, past my mum who was preparing something, and then out a special door that exists only in the dream. We were now outside at the base of the lift shaft. In order to reach the first part, we actually had to climb a small set of stairs that were wrapped around the bottom of the glass shaft; some being see-through and other parts of the shaft not being see-through. When we were at the top of the stairs, Dreamy WB started gently rubbing my back with her hand to attempt to make me as calm as she could. She reached out with her other hand and told me, “look”, as she pressed a button next to the door. I looked up, seeing the lift come down from the top and that's when I started to get nervous. Dreamy WB slightly tightened the hug and after that, I can't remember anymore of the dream. Dream 380 B - Too Much Chocolate For Me I don't remember how the dream started. From where I do remember, I was at my old house but this was only the appearance at the front. This house was actually a combination of my old and current house and more towards the back of my house was the current appearance. I see this huge two-piece chocolate bar sitting on the coffee table. Looking at it in a concern, I told my brother that the whole chocolate bar was too much for me. I then saw LB sitting on the other side of the desk in my study room, on the chair to the left of my computer chair. I whispered to my brother about giving the other half of the chocolate bar to LB. I said though, something like, “But she's not gonna talk to me”. My brother had a look on his face and a spark in his eye like he was confident she would. I then went into the study room, in hesitation, but she happily took the bar of chocolate, still with the default, expressionless look on her face. That's all I can remember for this dream. Dream Tasks - Have Logan receive harsh penalties from Dreamy WB due to reckless social behaviours (Achieved? Partially) - Have Dreamy WB or Murray go to console an upset dream character (Achieved? No) - In case of extended absences with Dreamy WB, train Murray on how to provide in-dream discipline to unruly parents (Achieved? No) Challenges - Start the dream off with Dreamy WB already present (Achieved? No) Dream 380: Results (Competition #5) 380 A Competition Night: 21 Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Non-Lucid Dream Guide: Dreamy WB Emergency Team: None Eligible For Competition Points: Yes 380 B Competition Night: 21 Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Non-Lucid Dream Guide: None Emergency Team: None Eligible For Competition Points: Yes Points For This Entry: 3.5 Calculation Details: - Full Non-Lucid Dream (1.0) - Summon A Dream Guide (1.0) - Non-Lucid Fragment (0.5) - Ask For Advice (1.0) + Previous Total: 104.0 Total Accumulated Points: 107.5
Updated 08-07-2018 at 12:06 PM by 93119
I started to have actual sex dreams these days. I tried many times before in lucid dreams to have some action and now it just comes...
All I have written down from last night was being imprisoned somewhere. I tried to get help and escape, but I came close to getting caught. I believe I woke up before I either got caught or got away. Got to start somewhere.
Condom hunt I'm in the east part of Amsterdam. It seems to be the EvS street. I'm in a hotel with my ex, F. We've just had sex and are ready for round two. We have one condom left and she messes it up. She unwraps the condom and rolls it down instantly, now leaving us to fidget with it. We try to make the best of it, but it doesn't work. We end up making our way downstairs. I'm not sure what she's doing anymore, but I go out on to the street. It's nearly 22:00, meaning nearly closing time for the shops. I attempt to find some condoms. I look for them in two different supermarkets. It's surprisingly difficult to find some. I end up staying until closing time. At first I think I've found some, in various quantities. There's some packages that contain just way too many for me and are also quite expensive. I settle on just a few. When I've made up my mind, a change occurs. When I open the boxes, it turns out that there are no condoms inside. Instead, there are things like hair conditioner. I came close to buying the wrong thing. I end up leaving the store, not having bought anything. Outside on the street, I see a man from the back. He's not wearing a shirt. His small of the back stands out, because it is somehow shaped well / looks good. At some point while I was in the supermarket I was asking myself something along the lines of: "am I really going to do this? Have sex with my ex? I have a girlfriend". I decided it was ok to do this, because this is just a dream.
Non-dream stuff: I woke up at 8 with the auto radio which was a little too loud, got up and turned it off, as I wanted to but also because my partner asked me to; Got back in bed and forgot any potential dream recall - stayed in bed for 40 minutes and had a small dream fragment even though I wasn't quite asleep; I knotted two fingers and went and start tea for myself and my partner, coming back up to start drafting this text and then going back down to finish the tea and bring it up, at which point I remembered the second dream fragment. Fragment 1: We were in my parent's house and my partner was in the bedroom that used to be my parents (but in waking life these days that bedroom is rented out). I remember seeing him get dressed. I was at the entry hall and looking into my old bedroom (again, rented out in waking life now), suddenly a I see a landline phone (the one that's right here in this room in waking life) is receiving a call, we don't answer and a message is left and plays out from the answering machine "What the hell ya playing at mate? You can't do this!". I knew the voice but the first name and last name initials were detected by the answering machine; it was my partner's sibling's partner (sorry for the confusion) whom we will just call DF. I could see my partner's face go sort of "uugh not this" and I was thinking to myself "what the hell was DF on about". My partner came through and we went into my old bedroom with the landline phone and I remember we commented on it to each other, but can't remember words in detail. We walked into the balcony that is outside my bedroom and I could feel some annoyance off my partner. It was day, probably mid/late morning, given the sun's position. The dream ended here, more or less. Fragment 2: I was playing WoW, my view being from the character perspective mostly, on a Shaman character of mine I think, and was doing this old raid by myself called Molten Core. That's kind of all I remember. Some notes: Though Fragment 1 wasn't a nightmare or a bad dream, it could have turned into a bad dream if I got too hot in my real bed; this is very typical if I get too hot in bed, which I was starting to.DF doesn't know our landline number, so he wouldn't be able to call it. My partner's sibling probably doesn't know it either. I should have questioned things a bit.In the dream, and on waking, I knew the call was in reference to giving them some furniture that we haven't given them yet. The fact that DF was having this reaction over something this small was a confirmation of a bad set of behaviours DF has.There seemed to be noone else at the house, not even my dog (who lives with my parents).Even though I could see my partner get dressed and go "ugh", this was not through direct vision. This was camera-like perception, as from the entry hall I could not directly see my partner, but I could directly see the landline. This could have been a good prompt for a RC.Given the general feeling of temperature and humidity in the air (given by the sunlight through the air), I'd say the dream actually took place in Spring, as things looked too green and it wasn't excessively hot. Again this could have been a good prompt for a RC but a more prominent dream sign is that we were in my native country at all, which won't happen for some months.The WoW dream fragment was one of the ones from when I woke up at 8, and I remember very little other than killing some bosses and getting the usual loot. Being so "inside" the game is a dream sign that I typically forget to think on during dreams. See my general notes.It is also worth noting for readers that when I make references to my parent's house to keep in mind that it's actually a flat in a 9 story-building. 10, if you count ground floor.
I went out of body a few times only to be returned back after a few minutes. But at last I managed to stabilize the existence out of body and I went out of my home by shortest possible way, through the roof. Outside, it was pitch black environment. I made myself to discern the surrounding, even if I didn't see anything. And I flew. I wanted to try shared OBE again. I flew, pulled in direction to my soulmate as fast as possible. The surrounding changed and it stopped to be pitch black... I was in big hall with multitude of doors... to other lives. And I felt I have lost the feeling of pull. So, I started to call for my soulmate. To no avail. I saw a few older looking human like beings so I came to them. I asked them whether they could show me a way to right doors. One about 60 ears old woman with blonde hair told me: Follow me, and she started to run fast. I was able to follow, only just so. After a minutes of run she disappeared through one doors and I dived through those closed doors right after her. I found myself in blackness. I don't know how long I was hovering there, the time had no meaning for me and I didn't care. Next thing I remember, I was very young girl. I had slender figure, about 1.5 m tall and black hair. And I was with a boy. The experience started to feel more like lucid dream. I remembered all from this life, then from that OBE and search for my soulmate. And I touched the boy and I was sure we are meant to be together. He was my soulmate and I would never leave him. It was strange to be in girl body. What is normal for a man to feel, the emotions, weren't present. I felt serene. In that LD like experience I knew that my children from this life were alive and well. And I told that boy while snuggling to him about this life and my struggling for something... more... and that I understand things better. remarks - Maybe the feeling was there because of state of mind I was in. I stabilize those experiences subconsciously by being concentrated, to be here and now and as much unattached as possible.
Morning of July 22, 2018. Sunday. Reading time: 1 min 44 sec. Readability score: 76. I am living in an apartment in an unusual combination of the Loomis Street house and the King Street mansion. It is oriented as the Loomis Street house though implied to be on a corner; probably the southwest corner of Loomis and Gillette Streets. I am on the second floor until the last scene. An annoying unknown male is present and keeps talking to me and imposing on me when I want to be with Zsuzsanna. He is the preconscious avatar of this dream. Zsuzsanna appears as she was when we first met. At first, I am passive about his presence. Eventually, I begin to swear at him. There is a point where I see a middle drawer of his desk open and close it so that he does not think that I had been snooping in his room, even though I do not know how I ended up here. Through a window on the north side, I watch events unfolding outside on the ground below. Two men are working on cutting grass along the curb. One man injures his hand on a shrub. Another man will be taking him to the hospital even though it does not seem that bad. There is another scene where I want to be with Zsuzsanna, but the preconscious comes and starts talking again. I am annoyed and swear at him again. I see what looks like a shelf facing the doorway of the northeast bedroom (of the Loomis Street house). It may be refrigerated. I notice several green cans of V Energy Drink. (None of us ever drank this in real life.) In the last scene, Zsuzsanna and I are on a bigger version of the Loomis Street porch. Patrick Stewart as Jean-Luc Picard is present. He continues to grin, although he is seemingly not directly aware of us. I consider it may be a publicity stunt. He starts talking about himself and his body. Borg implants may be around his abdomen. The scene becomes bizarre. A big aquarium rises around him. There seem to be cables holding him up about two feet from the bottom of this sudden aquarium. An impossible amount of water sprays from his crotch area, filling the aquarium up to his waist. The water lowers again. That has to be the most unusual form of water lowering waking symbolism I have ever experienced. On a side note, I did not have to use the bathroom that urgently. My dreams most often render a porch as a reactive representation of the waking space. A porch is my most common buffer between dreaming and waking. Vestibular system correlation projects as Captain Picard, as the emergent consciousness simulacrum.
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