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Dream - Lucid

Something about someone, some TV star, I want to say the guy who plays Dr. Karev on Grey's, jumping from the hangar of a huge plane on some sort of board. I am not sure what the goal of this was, but I saw it happening from behind the guy. It was sunny and bright out, and remains so throughout the dream.

At some point, I saw myself in a two piece bathing suit, looking sooooooooo thin and pre-baby (god I miss that!).

I was having a flashback. I was up in the air, going toward the foot of this long, huge bed with a dark, royal red comforter that was in the sky inside some sort of aircraft. I climbed onto the big bed and into the aircraft. As I entered, I heard my voice say
"Isn't it a cute little nook?"
Inside, I saw myself all cuddled up watching TV in this huge bed. It was indeed a cute little nook and it looked perfectly cute and comfy. I was pre-baby and pre-marriage. I was so happy and smiling, cuddling with a blanket that I had when I was little, though in the dream I was definitely in my 20's. I feel like it was supposed to be shortly before getting married, maybe a year or so. I looked so relaxed and happy. I knew I was on vacation at the beach.

There was more to this one, but this is all I remember.

~

I was with my mom and some others, maybe my sister-in-law. I think we were all on vacation. We were inside somewhere, but I didn't want to be there because my shows were about to all come on TV in a block. I took one of the cars we drove to wherever we were back to the (hotel?). I was in a room with either one or two beds facing a television. It resembled a hotel room we had on vacation when I was a kid once. Once there, I was talking to some blonde guy that was around my age about whoever he had a crush on. He was sitting on the bed. I thought maybe he liked me, as I thought he was quite cute, but it wouldn't devastate me if he wasn't into me. He was also giving my something, some sort of furniture that had a lot of his things in it. He told me as soon as it was cleaned out I could have it. I was going through some of the things.

We were then walking towards a beach I believe. It was sunny and bright. He was in front of me. He was wearing swim trunks. I was guessing his crush, and I guessed two guy names, the first Justin, the second Kyle, both guys I worked with IWL. I thought maybe he seemed kinda offended that I had mentioned men, though to be honest, I could only see him shake his head when I mentioned the men, and I couldn't figure out why I had mentioned men myself. I then mentioned Jessica. He said something about her, though not sure what.

I then saw him in a pool with some other people.

I then saw myself in a full-length mirror in a bathing suit, another two-piece, this time with higher-waisted bottoms and my body was definitely post-baby. I didn't think I looked as bad as I imagined I would. At some point, I saw myself wet in the maternity bathing suit I bought IWL, though there were some differences in design and color.

I realized then that I had not watched the first one of my shows, some reality show (trash TV I don't watch IWL). My mom was somehow asking me about what happened, because she followed the show herself, but couldn't watch it since she was out. I don't remember what I told her. I was back at the hotel at some point, possibly getting ready to watch the remaining shows in the block.

Dream - Lucid

I was in bed with my coworker, K, at the house I grew up in. It was nighttime. We were kind of together, I think. She was wearing a grey underwear tanktop laced in purple with matching underwear. I was in my underwear too. I don't remember fooling around with her, but I remember wanting to and knowing we would.

~

I was at Publix in what appeared to be the bakery section, though in the dream, it was a pharmacy. I was there for medical marijuana. The pharmacist, a male, was on the phone and seemed distracted, so when he gave me a small orange pill bottle with some weed in it, I was surprised. I went to pay him and he wouldn't let me; he was giving it to me for free. No arguments here! I walked away. I started to feel like people might suspect me though for some reason. I felt like I needed to keep a low profile.

~

I was with some people, two women, one I remember for sure being a girl, Karla, that I recently reconnected with IWL (she was my friend when we were little kids). We were planning on going on a vacation to the beach for a few days. We planned it very last minute, like maybe the day we decided to leave.

We were then at the hotel. Karla left for some reason though. I was then with my mom and I assume my daughter was there too as I was asking my mom about which bathing suit she packed for her. I asked if she packed the 12 month of 18 month one. She said 18 month. I was hoping she brought the other, but I told her that was fine.

We then noticed it was turning into evening and it started to rain. I didn't care, I still wanted to walk on the beach anyway; we only had a few days there and I wanted to make the most of them.

Then there was this very strange, misplaced part. We were in some sort of loft. Thinking back now the closest thing I can think of to compare it to is a barn loft. The floors were wooden and falling apart. There was a little boy with us who reminds me now of my nephew G. He fell through the floor. I grabbed his hand but he kept slipping anyway. I called for help; I needed someone to either help me pull or go down there and catch him. He slipped, and I was so worried the fall would seriously injure or kill him, but he landed on his feet, albeit hard, and he didn't cry.

We had to go back home for something. We were in my mom's car. It was a very long drive, 12-13 hours, but we were there and back so fast. I was trying to remember the entirety of the drive, but I couldn't. I was amazed at how fast the time passed. I also was thinking about which car Karla had taken to get home since we had driven up there together in my car.

When we got back, I told my mom of the plan I had originally had and wanted to stick to: I wanted to spend one day of the vacation in either Disney World or Universal Studios. At first my mom wasn't so keen but I insisted, as this was MY vacation and my mom was now just there because Karla had left. My dad was there too I believe, but I don't remember ever seeing him or talking to him directly. I knew he'd be on board for a theme park visit.

Morning of April 14, 2016. Thursday.

Dream #: 18,014-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min 30 sec.



My dream starts as a typical painting and maintenance dream. The setting is a version of our present home with a fictitious open room between the lounge room and dining area where a big wardrobe against the west wall is between them.

I have clarity as I enjoy my work. I have an occasional concern about paint dripping on folded clothes on wardrobe shelves and the floor. It is light blue paint that changes to a cream color and back to blue. It occurs (several times) when switching back and forth to the different rooms. At one point, I am concerned by the thicker ridges caused by having slapped on too much paint.

Above our bed, a short distance from the ceiling is an artistic feature left by the former tenant. There are red ribbons in a trailing frame pattern that partially enclose a large and rectangular piece of tinfoil that blocks about eighty percent of the view of the ceiling. I try to paint around it.

I see a large and ancient painted tapestry. The paint seems to have expanded and blurred over time. I recall that all I have to do is touch something to refurbish or perfect it. I feel the upper right corner of the tapestry. As a result, it becomes beautiful and more defined as I watch, more detail clarifying the image in a slow sweep from right to left. I think I will finish painting the walls this way. Even so, the walls paint themselves in a light cream and blue pattern as the previous lumps and minor cracks smooth out.

I summon a haunting (regular in dreams since childhood). I pretend the room is haunted, knowing if I concentrate, I can bring about a haunting. I read various large letters and word clusters on the wall. An unknown female, a professional investigator, who reminds me of actress Helen Kleeb as in the 1970s, writes down what I say, most of which is gibberish I spell out for her.

Eventually, I say, “Oh, it’s a name.” It is Rosemary Berry (unfamiliar, but it reminds me of other rhyming dream names, such as Tony Karoni). I report “Ms” appears before the name. (It is possibly an association with “MS. Found in a Bottle” by Edgar Allan Poe, or Matisyahu’s “Message in a Bottle.” I have recently listened to it and made a version. However, the “MS.” of the Edgar Allan Poe story supposedly means “message” in only some sources and “manuscript” in more credible sources). I am glad signs of a ghost are present even though I am aware it is the result of my pretense.

Suddenly, I am a little boy of about eight years old, and I see an unfamiliar friendly boy (a ghost of a former resident) walking up to a jagged hole in the wall. (This “doorway” is a haunting feature, and other people who are present cannot see it.) I am aware his name is Hamlet. The investigator is supposed to be my mother now. (Helen is the name of my wife Zsuzsanna’s mother). I tell her about Hamlet. She says, “Oh” and remarks with seeming frustration and disappointment, “You’re just dreaming!” She thinks the Rosemary Berry incident we shared previously was a dream. I feel her condescension, but as I am a child, there is not anything I think I could say. She towers over me to my right, and I feel like a child in size contrast.

We walk through a parking lot (for liminal modulation, typically the last setting in a dream). After looking at documents she was carrying in her bag, she cautiously says, “Oh…Hamlet was one of the former residents…” (with attestation emphasis on “was”). She looks at me curiously as I wake slowly.

---

Morning of April 6, 2016. Wednesday.



In my dream, there is a vague awareness of something in our ceiling where we presently live on W Street; perhaps two bicycles, or perhaps (eventually, relating to a shift) only two bicycle wheels. It is almost abstract and hard for me to discern in my shifting levels of awareness.

Soon, I am carried “back” to my bed by a very small helicopter that is gray and almost transparent. It actually is not even big enough to have carried me if this had been implied to be a real event. I am slightly puzzled as it flies off through the ceiling (as if passing through it like a “ghost”) without causing any damage either coming in or going out. The word “phasing” comes to mind as I am aware that is what happened.

Even after recording and decoding dream after dream for about fifty years, I still continue to be intrigued by the seemingly countless ways the waking transition is rendered in metaphor, this being a component of “resolved flight” (as in contrast to “failed flight” or simply “falling”). The most natural transition from a dream is simply the falling experience (and coalescence is probably second). Over time, because of the development of so-called civilization, dreams became more and more complex. What used to be just falling has now developed into thousands of variations, using flight symbols of various types and other associations, even the altered perspective of watching something else flying or falling near the waking stage, from airplanes to kites to penguins out of their environment (a hybrid symbol of the “failed flight” component) to meteors to even flying snakes and flying saucers. In addition, other forms of “displacement” and waking are often rendered, from going up or down staircases or in elevators, skiing, climbing, and so on, and sometimes with very unusual combinations.

Here, there is also the implied liminal space of something above the ceiling (between sleeping and waking); a bicycle, which is also a type of flight symbol as clearly explained in other entries. A helicopter is an obvious flight symbol and has particular associations as do all flight symbols including symbols that have wings but do not fly. A helicopter’s rotor is analogous to a tornado (essence of the Source and higher consciousness) due to its spinning motion and as a result, can be linked to the Merkaba as a “vehicle” to higher levels of awareness. Here though, the helicopter is greatly downsized, gray, and almost transparent (and even a bit sketchy). My dream was not very vivid. Still, I did not “fall”, but was “returned” to my bed by this curious little vehicle, the “middleman” in this case.

I am the most cruel person in the whole dream world. No kiddin'. But about that later.

I slept ~5h and I woke up, tried WILD/DELID a while but nothing happened. I couldn't recall much and I couldn't sleep so I got up, played some logic games on my phone. I was awake ~1,5-2h, counting and practise awareness a bit before sleep.

Non-lucid parts
Lucid parts
My comments

#5 & 6 LD - Wandering, TOTM and stuff
I was lying on my bed, looking at the floor. My carpet in RL looks like this: <KLIK> and in the dream one of these swirls created a word "Sen" which in Polish means "Dream". Also the floor was closer than in RL. (I don't know if I did RC, maybe the one with breath check without moving, anyway I get lucid). I got up fast, I saw a little black&white kitten which looked like he was waiting till I wake up. And what did I do? I ignore him insolently! He even run away, I went immediately out of my room. (That's why I'm so cruel - I understand flying, superpowers, dragons, aliens, fantasy castles, ANYTHING BUT THE CAT. I'll never forgive myself that! He was so tiny and cute and I just ignored him, probably because I didn't want to lose lucidity but still that's inexcusable. Only cat lovers'll understand that :c) So the dream was pretty vivid and light however I was rubbing my hands for a while. I wasn't calm, I didn't know what to do. I went to the bathroom. Before I opened the door I was hoping there will be some mountains but it didn't. I went in and tried to fly away through the window but I couldn't so I gave up. I don't know if I should try anyway but I was thinking that I don't wanna lose my time for one thing. I went to the kitchen, behind the window I saw a little snow on the ground - it was day. The door were open a bit and I saw there a bag but I ignored this a well. Now I know that I should interact more with the surroundings. I recalled a TOTM with a dream guide. I was saying "I'm ready for my dream guide" (twice I think 'cause I did a mistake). I saw that some character are passing in my room. He was tall and massive, I think he had black coat and bird's head (or sth like that). It was a bit creepy but I went in. Instead of him I saw my aunt sitting on my bed. I asked if she is my DG, I think she answered sth but I don't remember. Then, the younger version of her went through the door and there were 2 of them. The new one said sth as well but it wasn't much important (like "so so"). I lose control and wake up to another dream, as well I was on my bed. I check if this is a FA and it was so I get lucid again. This time it was dark. I get up fast, the dream was blurry and I was afraid of waking up. I was rubbing my hands and shouting commands (+ 1 request) but it didn't work. Maybe I wasn't certain enough. Once I was hearing myself and another time not. As in my previous LD I put up the blinds and it was a little brighter. On my bed was a camera. I thought about talking with my subconscious but I knew that I have lack of stabilization so I wasn't even trying. And I woke up in RL because I couldn't maintain the dream.

First dream

An enormous earthquake striked, causing many buildings to collapse and I was one of many survivors. I was trapped in one of the buildings, and had to crawl under the rubble in search of food and water. I tried to clean out my way through the collapsed complex, up to the surface, but some parts of it could collapse further. Once when cleaning my way, I found a passage I haven't explored before. Four cats ran out of it, and I went inside. There was a huge wardrobe. It was in fairly good condition. I opened it, and in the darkness I saw a horrifying face of a wraith. Even though I closed my eyes, I still could see it. Suddenly the way to the surface has been cleared, and my family came inside to ge me out.

False awakening

I woke up in the middle of the night. It was really dark, I couldn't see anything. For some reason I woke up in a weird position. My pillow was moved to a different corner, and I was lying sideways to the bed itself.

Non-dream
Non-lucid
Lucid

I tried a new dream journal app on my phone and it turns out that it's a bastard because it only stores one dream entry per day. So I lost my other dreams and can't recall them either. I tried to SSILD last night but it was pretty ineffective as I just couldn't focus through the cycles, was still way too fatigued.

Dream - Girlfriend and daughter
I seem to be in my flat (this is pretty rare, I don't usually have dreams about my flat) and in my bed, just lying down with my laptop out messaging my girlfriend on skype. We send pictures and are just chilling out. She tells me that I should probably break up with her because another guy groped her against her will. I'm pretty shocked, but I tell her that I want to punch that guy and I wouldn't break up with her over that since she stopped him. The situation was that actually she had a sticker on her ass and she asked her friend to help get it off (it was a girl), and then the guy kind of swooped in on the situation. I told her not to let it happen again because it makes me worry when I'm so far away (we study at different universities). I also realize that as I typed it out to her, I actually sent it through text instead of skype. I had been a little disoriented by the whole 'break up with me' message I guess . I return to the skype conversation and see she has replied to my message, I tell her that I goofed up and sent the message before through text (not that it mattered). We continue talking I think, but I also think I start looking at old photos and videos of her. There were random pictures of her in a bikini, another where she had a real hairy stomach (this one I tried to ignore lol ). There were even some where she was posing on the bed . A video also started playing, it was one where I think I was videoing Arya playing with her mum and grandparents. They all charged at Arya and made a sort of dog pile and Arya loved it, she was giggling lots. Then I flick to another video where we're on a beach, my girlfriend looked really pretty. It seemed to be a grey day, and the wind was blowing a bit hard. We were climbing along the wave-cut platform of rocks, the video seemed to follow her (non-existent-in-real-life) cousin, I think she was 10ish?

Date: October 7, 2015
Method: MILD, WBTB
Sleeptime: 10:00ish
WBTB: 5:00am stayed up around 10 minutes
Results:Lucid (x2) DEILD and a DILD

DILD
Realized I was dreaming and became lucid. I tried to concentrate on an experiment I have been working on, but instead a vision of bodies floating in the sea appeared. That vision scared me so I made myself wake up.

DEILD
Decided to try again since I was still 'tingling' and a vision of women at a beauty parlor appeared and they just looked at me (like I really needed my hair done...which I do ).

I concentrated on my experiment mission and instead a little boy appeared. He was adorable. He looked like he was about 5 or 6 years old in a baseball jacket and a baseball cap. He had no face at all (like if i was drawing him in a picture, I intentionally left out the eyes, nose, mouth, etc). I asked him what was wrong and he said, "My mommy will die before my daddy." I said, "What is your name?" He said, "Donnie." I said, "Donnie, do you want a hug?" He shook his head yes and ran into my arms. He held on to me for dear life. Let me tell you DV family, that hug felt as real as me typing these words on my computer. I immediately felt his sorrow and as I was hugging him the scene changed to this:

His mother told him to hide under the bed and don't make a sound no matter what he hears. The father came in and was beating the mother and said he was going to kill her. The mother's face never looked toward that bedroom and at least to me, she didn't seem like she wanted to make a sound. As if she knew if she yelled, the little body would come out from under that bed.

Yeah....I still have the goosebumps.

Wow, that was fast! Don't know if this count (didn't see my body) but here goes...
Got lucid last night and found myself floating above my bed facing the ceiling and I 'flipped' over to lay down next to my sleeping body but I didn't see it. I did see my husband on his side of the bed and my side of the bed was empty (but really messy, like the sheets and pillow was out of order???). Anyway, I attempted to squeeze in the middle of where I was 'suppose' to be and next to my husband. It worked for a hot second and then I somehow got sucked back into my body that I couldn't see and I woke up. But this was still so cool to attempt!

Morning of September 25, 2015. Friday.



This is dream five of six relating to clearer dreams of this date.

---

An unfamiliar cat had been injured, possibly by being hit by a car, though the injuries are not extensive. I am able to heal the cat with the miraculous healing abilities of the dream state (with non-lucid dream control, my dream self not aware of it being a dream).

The cat’s presence is vivid, with clear perceptions of purring and movement, including my enhanced sense of touch when I pet it. The cat lies near the center of our bed as I move my hands about above its body and mentally affirm its health and well-being. (This bed is presumably in our present home as my dream’s setting yet is in the wrong location by association, seemingly where the narrow wall between the south side of the kitchen and the small hallway to the back door is, though my dreams have never rendered the exact same setting, of which are typically unique new composites.)

My wife Zsuzsanna brings in another unfamiliar cat. This cat seems to have died from possibly being hit by a car, as at least one back leg (possibly both) is missing and there is blood. Still, I move my hands about and above it and it apparently comes back to life. It moves slightly and purrs and meows. I can see it breathing. It does not seem fully aware, so I continue with my healing affirmations.

Soon, at least one back leg grows back, the bone expanding firstly. However, the bone continues to grow until it becomes a miniature elk horn. This is unexpected. I am concerned about how the cat will get around. Another miniature elk horn grows from where the other back leg would otherwise be. I am not sure what to do or how to continue, yet I do not want to end the animal’s life even though it is in such a strange condition at this point. I can resurrect dead animals in this dream, but in this case, the essence of other animals that have died become a part of it, as I assume that an elk had been hit and killed by the same car that had killed this cat. It may also grow wings, though still will not be able to walk or roost properly. I am unsure what to do, though I become vaguely aware that I am dreaming. It remains somewhat misshapen as my dream fades.

---

Key points:

• Although some healing dreams relate to actual healing energies and a more viable focus or intent, they also sometimes result from simply achieving more awareness of the physical body in the waking transition.
• Resurrection has occurred in many past dreams since early childhood and in some cases, is based on becoming more aware of my real physical body’s breathing in contrast to my fictitious dream self’s body, therefore, in many cases, it is a simple factor of the emergent consciousness.
• Cats are associated with higher liminal space (between dreaming and waking) for a number of reasons, including the idea they “always land on their feet” (waking transition inner ear dynamics, that is, linked to the falling sensation that commonly occurs with waking and is purely biological). I associate cats with being most active at night and linked more to circadian rhythms symbolism of the dream state. They sit on a fence, the division between dreaming and waking. They are said to be “guardians” of the “underworld” (dream state analogy).
• In this case, the antlers (growing from where the cat’s legs would otherwise be) seem to be a metaphor for expanding neural energies (in real time in growing more aware in the waking transition), which are required to wake and use the physical body to walk, especially as the common preconscious embodiment is not otherwise present in this dream. This is easily proven by looking at a human anatomy chart to see the imagery is the same as from my dream. The dream state indicator of the bed (usually just the subliminal awareness of being asleep) additionally validates the overall meaning as does Zsuzsanna’s presence near the bed (as we sleep together).
• Interestingly, this dream also had the typical prescient layer (as the majority of my dreams have had since earliest memory, in fact, the main reason I developed an interest in recording them). One of our cats in real life, Franco (though which did not look like the cat in this dream) somehow injured his back leg and was not able to walk normally again, having damaged the muscles and nerves (which curiously did not seem to bother him as he got around as fast as ever, though I have never seen this happen to any other cat I have had in my lifetime.) Thus, even when a dream can be metaphorically analogous to the dream state itself and fully explained as such, some of the dynamics may still be literally precognitive, as I have found out thousands of times since early childhood.

---

I remember my dogs barking at my 3rd dog on the bed in my parents' room in my hometown. My parents and brother were there with me. There were some scary parts I can't remember.

First false awakening

I woke up in the middle of the night. Everything was dark all around, so I turned the lights on, took my laptop and turned it on. I started to write some code - it was a quasi C++ mixed up with Python and Java. Then I started to compile it. The effect was instant - somehow, the code was working. I saved all the files, turned laptop off and went back to bed.

Second false awakening

I woke up on a sofa in the living room. I quickly standed up and went to my bedroom through the kitchen. The room layout was normal, though most of furniture were moved to different places, and the lights were working weirdly. When turned on, they lit only a spot in the middle of the room, leaving the rest of it dark. When entering my bedroom, everything disappeared and I was left in void. After a three seconds or so, I could move freely, as if there was an invisible floor. Suddenly, a group of men and women appeared, making an orgy. I joined them. When I was just about to finish, my room appeared again, this time with my friend and another dude. He said "You like wanking, eh?" I just took some clothes from the wardrobe and went to take a shower. After that, I wanted to go to sleep, but I had to go to a sofa, as my bed was taken by someone else.

Third false awakening

I woke up in my bed in the early morning. I was going to do what I always do in those situations - stand up from bed, drink something (tea or water preferable), go to toilet, and go back to bed, ending 4-6 minute WBTB. This time however, on the way to toilet I met my mother. I asked "When do I have to go for drivers license ride?" She said "Half past seven." I said "I thought it was half past five." Then she replied "No, it's half past seven. Do your thing and get back to bed!" Then I finished the cycle.

Hey guys! Been a little while, but I'm kicking myself back into it to make sure I don't get out of practice like usual. I've remembered quite a few dreams in the past month, but none written down, sadly, or I would document them here. So, this dream was from two nights ago. It was very short, mind you, but also very vivid, and it led to a weird sensation.
I was in my room, except with my co-worker for some odd reason. He pointed out to me two dudes who were lying under my girlfriend's bed, writhing about on the floor and dancing. All I could see of them were their limbs, and I could hear upbeat techno music playing in a muffled sort of way, as if I was hearing it from a distance.
My co-worker and I started dancing to the music, and everything felt happy. However, things took a very eerie turn when we looked up from our dance and noticed that the two dudes who were under the bed were now standing beside it, looking at us like we were crazy. If the two dudes weren't under the bed anymore...then why whose limbs were still writhing around under the bed...?
As soon as we came to this creepy realization, I heard a loud cracking noise, and a bright light engulfed all of us. It felt almost as if a bomb was going off. I fell on top of my bed, my ears ringing, and my body tingling. And as soon as I hit the bed...
I woke up, slowly rising from my real life bed, while still feeling the ringing in my ears and the tingling sensation in my body. It went away in a few seconds, and everything was back to normal, but wow was that a weird and unsettling end to a dream.

Date: 16 May

Wbtb

I fall asleep and have a brief non-ld where I am with family members in this unfamiliar house. It's dark in the room and I am trying to fall asleep but they keep on talking so loud. At some point everybody leaves and I find myself in a large movie room with big screen TV and loud bass systems. I think to myself that I find it really weird people are so obsessed with these things. A large TV, so what? Now, it would be much cooler if actually you were making this whole TV into existence, if you were the cause of all the music - ie. if you are dreaming all this. Then this will give a whole new meaning to the experience. I take a moment to imagine how it would feel.

Memory gap. I end up in another room where I feel my awareness come into focus and I realize that I made it to the dream. My mom is also here for a bit. I remember a few goals and also the advanced task of doing an in-dream wild and briefly consider trying it. However, this is not among the goals I reviewed during the wbtb and now I can't remember (also irl at the time of journalling) whether this is still the current month's task or already last month's. I decide I don't want to end up doing an old task and drop it altogether. There is a large earth globe in the completely empty now narrow room and I do a mix of telekinesis and wind blowing it around wondering if that would count towards air bending. After I have enough fun with levitating it around, I recall the other basic task - become friends with the monster under your bed.

I move forward and cautiously open the door to the next room, hoping this will work to reveal something handy. It opens into a dark room, which I disregard and continue forward. There is a bed just ahead of me and I lean down and look to see what's below. There is a ton of junk piled up. While I try to think of a monster being there I get a flash of disappearing transparent eyes. I decide to stare in the stuff below in the hopes that something will show up. After a while, I begin to see a movement under some rags and follow it. It stops and then starts at another place. I dig a bit to finally find the monster - a grey mouse! The little beast is so hyperactive it is hard to keep it in one place and as I try to hold it and make friends it even bites me! I think about the task again taking mental notes of what is going on. Ok, it has to calm down so I start caressing it. I do so for a bit until it finally calms down, I make another mental note about this and conclude that we are now friends.

The dream seems to end but it's actually an FA. I find myself journalling a page and a half worth of dreams with a lot of details and also noting my goals for the next dream. The tablet then malfunctions and keeps giving me a gaming radar with the bad guys as red dots coming near. I'm getting really confused about this since I think I have solved all my problems for the moment. It then switches to a cool 16 bit game with characters unknown to me. I decide to play it for a bit and it actually works like a normal game - very complex and thoroughly thought out. Yet I can't comprehend how this game self installed on my tablet. Why do I have this game? And then it hits me! This is an FA and I just wrote a ton of dreams for nothing. But the game - well that was pretty awesome, I think to myself, I played quite a bit of a dream game. I'm super amazed at this. The dream soon ends.

Ritual: It was a great night for dreaming, probably because I went to bed so much earlier than usual, though I've also been especially attentive to my RCs for the last couple days. I went to bed a little before midnight, and I'm also currently on the East Coast, so the clock was three hours ahead of my usual time zone. My sleep was punctuated with the usual half-dozen wakings, though I didn't do any specific night practices other than try to pay attention to the transitions between sleeping and waking, and in this I was not persistant or prompt enough to pull off a WILD or a DEILD. But by around 6am I woke up from the first DILD, spent until 7:30am writing it down, then went back to bed and lucked into a second one.

NLD, "Drones": I'm standing by a floor-to-ceiling, wall-length window in a big hotel suite, looking out over the curve of a bay. From the height we must be somewhere between the 20th and 30th floor, and to the right I can see another tall building, or perhaps an extension of the same hotel, following the curve of the beach. Ahead and to the left is the flat horizon of the sea. It would be a pleasant view if it weren't for all the drones hovering in our field of vision, each one carrying a sign with a single word on it, white block letters on a black background. The words seem to be completely random.

"It's like some dystopian future," I comment to Peter Dinklage, who is standing to my left. I muse about what it would be like if the drones were weaponized, and turned on us like machines tend to do in science fiction. Though a chilling thought, they are awkwardly constructed without any armoring, and look like they would be easy to shoot down.

Then I notice that although they are not armed with guns, each drone is fitted with a camera, which is just as bad in some ways. Are they conducting mass surveillance on us? The cameras are all pointed directly at us. As I watch, a see a few drones of a different type fly in very close. They are not carrying signs, and they are disk-shaped, topped with a transparent dome through which we can see tiny people inside operating them. The pilots can't be human: even though I am standing next to a dwarf, they are much smaller than him, the size of babies, but with adult features and pointed ears. One of them waves at us, and Peter Dinklage says something like, "This is really disturbing."

FA-DILD, "Smallpox": Shortly after this I have the sense of waking up, though it is not a typical FA; I do not find myself in bed. I feel like I am standing in the same spot, in the same room, only awake now. Everyone else who was in the room a moment ago is gone, and there is no longer any impression of a view. The light has changed, becoming greyer and dimmer: it felt like late afternoon a moment ago, now it feels like early morning.

At once I notice that something is wrong with my body: a dense network of small patchy blisters is completely covering my skin. I look at myself in third person, as though in a mirror, and see them everywhere: covering my face, my chest, my arms, every patch of visible skin is mottled with these raised lesions. I know exactly what they are, too, I've seen them before in historical pictures: these are smallpox pustules, apparently in an early stage, since they are slightly lighter than my natural skin color and haven't scabbed or opened yet.

Immediately my rational mind rejects the scenario: didn't I get vaccinated for this? I realize I don't specifically remember getting a smallpox vaccine, but... isn't that because smallpox is extinct? I can't recall the details but I'm sure I remembered hearing that. Surely it's not making a comeback, like measles, because of all these anti-vaccers? But that can't be right—if smallpox were coming back then vaccinations for it would have become available, and I'd have been first in line.

This can't be happening. I try to will away the pustules but nothing changes. I remain unconvinced. This can't be happening, it must be a dream. If I can levitate, I will know it is a dream: I put my mind to it and though I do not levitate properly, I can feel that gravity is definitely different from waking life. So it is a dream! Okay, that's what I thought. Thank goodness I don't really have smallpox. Now I just need to fix my appearance.

I go into the bathroom and look in the mirror, trying to will my skin smooth again. The pustules are stubbornly persistant, but a lock of hair turns white and I decide to transform the rest of it for fun. It instantly turns stark white, but the texture remains smooth and silky. This gives me the idea to turn my skin jet black, like that of a drow elf. I concentrate and most of it transforms, but there are still pale patches on my forehead and upper cheeks, and when I look down at my legs, they are a streaky grey that is fading out toward the ankles, more like body paint than skin pigment.

On the bright side, changing the color of my skin finally got rid of the pustules, leaving it smooth again. Now I just want to even out the color, but the pale patches resist my initial attempts to darken them through will alone. I try to use my hands, as though spreading pigment over the resistant areas, and this helps a bit, but it is not an easy fix. As I peer closer into the mirror during this process, I notice that my eyes are solid black. I can't remember if this was the correct color for drow eyes, but I really like the effect. By the time I complete the skin transformation, my hair has faded from snow white to a yellower bone white, and this looks better and more natural with the jet black eyes and skin.

During this process my hair has been going through stylistic variations, always long and straight, but hanging down in different ways, and smeared with substances like blood or oil. I figure this makes sense for drow fashion, since living underground they probably don't bathe all that often, making hair treatments like oil very practical, whereas the bloody streaks look impressively gruesome. Although my skin won't stay pure black, it doesn't fully revert to its natural shade either, but retains traces of color, like streaky orange-browns on a muted blue base, while the hair stays yellowish-white.

WBTB: I woke up and spent over an hour writing the report of the last dream, but afterwards it was still early enough to go back to bed. Although I was not sleepy, it was a pleasantly lazy morning, and I enjoyed drifting in hypnagogic imagery. There was a period of ambiguity where it became increasingly difficulty to tell if I was having waking or dreaming experiences, and then I slipped again into full dream.

DILD, "Bed Monsters": I was wandering through the large house belonging to my in-laws where I am currently staying, and I had lost count of the number of bedrooms... there had to be more than twenty. Just how big was this place? At that moment I realized, no, of course it is not so big in waking life, it is because I am dreaming that the size has been exaggerated. Dreaming, eh? Wasn't there something I had meant to do, if I found myself dreaming in a bedroom? Suddenly I recalled this month's TOTM, to make friends with the monster under your bed. Oh! I should get back to the room where I'd been sleeping! I dashed back so quickly I was afraid I would destabilize the dream, but luckily it stayed intact.

I peered under the bed but it was a pleasant open space. It looked like there were a few banal things stored under there, but nothing looked sinister or monstrous. I felt around for something to work with, and my hand closed around a small plush object, which I withdrew and examined closely. It was a small brown teddy bear, only five inches long, with a plump, pear-shaped body and tiny beady eyes. There was a lighter brown oval around the bit of stiching that served as a nose. I was impressed with the detail with which I could perceive it, but had no idea how was I supposed to "make friends" with it. It seemed totally inert, a harmless stuffed animal. I set it on the thick folds of the comforter piled on the bed. "Dance!" I commanded. It just sat there. "Dance!" I tried a few more times, but it remained inaminate.

I walked around to the other side of the bed, setting down the teddy bear on a dresser. I turned away for a moment, and when I looked again it had changed: now it was a sort of bell-shaped plastic structure hanging from the ceiling by a string. I couldn't tell what its purpose was, but it still appeared to be an inert object.

It occurred to me that I had been walking around and standing right next to the bed completely heedless of the space underneath. If there really were monsters under there, I'd have to watch out for my ankles! I wondered if this was the problem, that I didn't really have any lingering childhood fear of monsters under the bed. Perhaps I should try again with more intent.

I bent down and looked under the bed from this side, trying to keep the idea of monsters in mind. I still didn't see much under there: it was a light and airy space, just like in waking life, completely different from the overstuffed space under my bed at home. But I did see a scrap of cloth within arm's reach, so pulled it out. It turned out to be a little crocheted cat, only about three inches long, white with some orange spots. I guessed it must have been made by a total amateur. The body seemed floppy like it was unstuffed, and as I turned it over in my hands, I discovered that it was actually crocheted in a single flat piece with the four little legs sticking out horizontally, so only when it was folded in half along the back did it look plausibly like a cat. The head was the only piece that appeared to have been crocheted with any semblance of three-dimensionality. As I studied it closely, I saw tiny points of bright green contrasting with the dominant the white and orange: there was a little green tuft on the trip of the tail, and projecting from the head was a narrow appendange like the antenna of a cartoon alien, also topped with a green point.

However, this object also showed no sign of motion or life, so it would be hard to say I was "making friends" with it. But then my eye caught a glimpse of orange fur near my feet: my cat had appeared! I wasn't surprised that she had turned up: when thinking about the task in waking life, I had reasoned that she really was the monster under my bed. Though I adopted her when she was about five months old (the best guess of the shelter) she had been living in a feral state before that, and even after five years of comfortable indoor living she still has the edgy instincts of a street cat: she hisses at the slightest provocation, and holes up under the bed for hours whenever a stranger is in the house.

I knelt down to ruffle her long, soft fur, which felt totally life-like, but I noticed the color was off. In the dream she was calico, with big orange patches, but I remembered that she was a tabby in waking life. I wondered if she could qualify as my dream bed monster—though right now she was acting very pleasant and relaxed, and I figured it probably wouldn't count because I had already made friends with her in WL.

Yet again I peeked under the bed, and this time at last I found the perfect candidate for my experiment. I felt that it was connected somehow with the tame cat at my feet, as though all her feral qualities had separated into a different animal. This one had a tortoise-shell coat, all the same colors as a calico but in smaller, more mingled patches. Although the fur resembled that of a cat, the body suggested another animal entirely, with a narrower head and tapering snout. I was pretty sure it was a fox. Best of all, it was already hissing and snarling at me! This was the monster I had been looking for!

Now all I had to do was make friends with it. I began calling to it in the cooing, overly affectionate voice I might use with my cat. "Come here... lovely sweetie... lovely sweetie. I have treats for you my love... treats for you my love." The animal reacted as any feral creature would, holding its ground and continuing to hiss and snarl. I could see the tension locked into its body, poised for fight or flight. I reasoned that since it was a dream monster, the best approach would be to hug it, but that wasn't obviously wasn't going to be possible while it was still under the bed. I needed to draw it out first.

I reached under the bed and the animal snapped at the air and threatened to bite me. I considered drawing my hand back for a different approach but decided to let it go ahead and bite, inspired by that wonderful scene in Miyazaki's Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind where Nausicaa tames the fox-squirrel by remaining calm and patient when it bites her finger. Plus, since it was a dream I didn't have to worry about physical harm. So I kept reaching toward the animal until it bit down on the middle of my left index finger. The pain was surprisingly clear and sharp, but easily manageable. I kept thinking of that scene from Nausicaa and projecting similar expectations on this situation. I felt the animal relax enough to take a few steps closer to me, but it had not yet emerged from under the bed when the dream abruptly faded. Intriguingly, even after I had fully transitioned to wakefulness, I could still feel a distinct itch in the second joint of my left index finger where the animal had bitten me.

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