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non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am pretending to be an alien, for some reason. I am wearing prosthetics in my body, which I feel that won't fool anyone, but as long I keep serious about it, people are believing me.

Living at my mom's with other people. It is a dystopian world, no rule of law, people self-organize, but we have managed to cope. Until someone passing by shows us we should be leaving now and join a bigger community as the gangs who pillage are coming our way and will burn everything. I agree and start choosing what's essential to take, but end up caught up by attachment to all secondary stuff, because I can't stand imagining it all going up in flames. But there is no way I can take 90% of the stuff with me.

At my paternal grandma's house with my mom. We wake up early morning hearing voices, it's some cousins who arrived and joined us. But although their faces are familiar, I have no idea who they are. At breakfast the group has grown with some 4 more family members, uncles and aunts I have no idea who they are. They all behave very at ease around the breakfast table, leaving a lot of dirty dishes and eating my food without any care, but they supposedly are family and I try to keep it cool.

At some hotel or hostel during some Buddhist teachings I am attending. A couple of Asian guys knocks on my door. One is a big guy and looks Chinese. He hands me an envelope, but it is already open. It contains some money and a letter from my teacher, but clearly all pages are out of order and I wonder if the money is all there. I get rally mad that the guys opened the letter. I start reading it and despite the calligraphy I can actually understand but with the effort to concentrate on what it says, I wake up.

Morning of June 20, 2018. Wednesday.



I am in an unfamiliar residence of which is implied to be our present home. A few members of my family had been looking through old letters and postcards. Although I read some of them, I only recall the writing on the last postcard I read, which is a mix of printed letters and handwriting.

The message reads, “I am looking forward to that time when we will be able to determine whether or not we are in Bedlam”.

The letter B of “Bedlam” is in fancy cursive and in uppercase. It has two extra curved lines that sweep back from the top and bottom.

For some reason, I practice copying that person’s writing. I am not sure who had written or sent the postcard. Our oldest daughter seems both amused and amazed at my talent in copying the other person’s writing almost exactly. Music is playing from seemingly nowhere, of which I do not consider as being unusual.

I cheerfully say, “Do you know how hard it is to make that kind of a ‘B’?”

---

It does not take much intelligence to see the dream state indicator of which is “Bed” of “Bedlam”. This is a lucid trigger that did not activate and is a reference to determining whether one is asleep in bed. (I have experienced many such dreams over the years.) Louder and clearer music “from nowhere” near the end of a dream is common. It sometimes seems analogous to the ending theme of a movie.

---

I just woke up from a dream

….where a long time friend of mine was moving away forever and I had to write her one last letter (for some reason I could never contact her again after she moved). I could not just write whatever I wanted though because the letter had a set amount of blank spaces depicted as underscores (like this: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ) where I could only fill them in one letter to a blank space. This made writing the letter with anything meaningful really difficult. For some reason my house had covered slides coming out of some walls and all the slides went down into the front yard but they were water slides and couldn’t be used unless they were wet. We were out of luck because for some reason we had no water. My friend was waiting for my letter in a station wagon in the road in front of my house. It was only herself in the back and a male driver in the front. I know my letter mad little sense but I had written it as quickly as I could and ran outside to give it to her but the station wagon was already driving away down the street and there was no way I could run fast enough to catch up with it. I was inconsolably sad.

There was a fragment where I was following a seeminly endless dirt path through a thick dark forest but I don’t remember it’s placement in the dream.

Back at it again.

I was at a place (not sure what for) where we had to go on missions to kill Final Fantasy monsters for points. The monsters were big and tough, but we used magic and other means of fighting to kill them. It was quite a rush.
Afterwards, I hung out with my friend (whom I'll refer to as 'P'.) P was very sad, she seemingly lost her closest friend and lover.
To help make it up to her and to bring her some peace, I wrote her a letter from her lover (whom I'll call L). The letter was as heartfelt as I could make it, and upon giving it to her, L appeared out of no where and started hugging P and kissing her. The music around us got all somber, and for a moment, I felt like I might tear up.

Since it's been a while, not much was recalled here, but hopefully this is the start of plenty more.

Me and my sister and other people who's faces I can;t see are outside and we have guns and we're shooting each other in the chest and shoulders and nothing happens. We laugh each time and when I was trying to shoot my sister and her trying to shoot me we're jumping around in this corner that is draped in shadow so we can;t see each other and I decide to just shoot randomly into the dark. And then I hear my sister cry out in pain, and then I panic drop the gun and drag her into the light and ask her whats wrong. She's holding her leg and says the two leg bones are broken and her ankle fractured. Someone tells us we need to take her to a hospital to have it wrapped up so the bones will heal back together, but me and my sister don't want to take her and want to wrap them up ourselves and now my leg is starting to mimic her leg wounds so we sit down and realize how dangerous that game was and hide the guns and think about how what if I accidentally shot her face, she would've died. (Dream changes) I'm at my grandmas house and these two egg looking people start painting my moms car black and my mom and uncle doesn't mind so they let them do it even though the paint isn't working right. Then we all get into the car, my whole family somehow. My grandpa goes to my sisters window and says he decided he wants to sit on her side and she convinced him. So I scoot from the middle seat, to the far left and we all fit in. The while waiting for my uncle I'm looking out the window and see the hugest fucking snake I ever saw and its brown yellow and black and longer then an RV. I yell to my grandma that there's a huge snake outside and she gets a shot gun while I'm still watching it and now its grabbed a duck off the ground and is eating it. My grandma shoots at it, I'm not sure if she hit it, but it quickly slithers away to the front into the tree's. Then m,y uncle takes the gun and acts cocky and says he'll go kill it, but we all worry because he hurts himself easily. Then time passes and we get out thinking the snake is eating him but then we see him so we get back in the car and my grandma yells at him for worrying her and then he throws the dead snake on top the car and I'm disgusted because some blood drops are now on the window from the snake. (Dream changes) Me and goldy(the twitch streamer) are walking on this train track and it's down in a two walled ditch. Then we hear a train coming and blowing it's whistle noise so we hide a little and then when it mostly passes we jump onto the last cart of the train. Then he pulls out a wooden train whistle and tries blowing it, but just air came out so he hands it to me to try, and I blow though it and it makes the train noise super loud and then the real train whistles one long one and then three short ones, so I mimic it and then the train driver pulls a lever or something because he made the cart we were on detach from the rest of the train and we see the train leave and ours starts to go out of control and flips to its side and crashes into the ditch walls and catches fire and me and goldy crawl away from it and sit and watch wondering what happened. We guessed that the wooden whistle alerted the big train the the cart was useless or damaged or something. So me and goldy get up and walk to his house(scene changes to his house) He knocks on the door, it's night time now. His girlfriend ally(twitch streamer) opens the door slightly and peeps her head out and asks where goldy's been and then lets us in. He explains to her what happened back with the train, and then ally takes me upstairs and shows me a bedroom I can sleep in for the night but there's other girls in there standing in the dark at the floor and it creeps me out so I ask her if i can use a bathroom and she giggles and says yeah that there's on in the room with the girl and one down stairs, so I tell her I'll use the one down stairs. I didn't want to go into the dark room. I go downstairs and forget about the bathroom and find some of my family sitting on a couch watching a huge tv. I sit with them and my cousin keeps asking me if I knew the things about the show he keeps telling me, and I'm like yeah because I know but get annoyed he keeps asking me things, so I get up and go into a kitchen and see that ally left a letter for me on the fridge but then my cousin runs in and grabs the letter before I can fully read it, I yell at him to give it back. That she wrote it for me and it could be important. But then he puts it into an red cow print notebook and then puts it into his pile of school crap. Then a large man comes into the kitchen asking whats going on and I tell him my cousin is hiding a letter meant for me for some reason and the big guy tells him to give it back but he ignores and smirks, so I push him to the ground and start for his junk, and then my cousin says fine that he'll give me the letter back. He give's me a paper and I can tell it's not the letter so I tell him that's not it, so he's pulls out a blue notebook and tells me it's in there and I tell him no, it's in a red cow print notebook, he looks annoyed that I remember. Then he stands there so I push him again and start looking for the letter but instead I find his binder notebooks that he wrote in them that he loves david arquette, so I point and smile and walk over to his brother but then my cousin calls him over first and I hear him say that I'm gonna try to use finding out he's bi against him to get my letter back. So I tell his brother to pretend like I told him something else that pisses him off and then my cousin gets confused so I grab the letter out of his hands a laugh and tell him that I told his brother nothing, then run into this room that has two tables and my cousin follows me but i just wanted to read my letter alone but mila kunis follows us and is pissed at me for stealing his paper she says. So I tell her it's a letter meant for me and show her and then she gets pissed at my cousin for lying to her because she was going to beat me up to get it back for him. Then we three are at the table and she's super angry and there's puzzles and coloring books now on the table we begin to do.

Dream - Lucid

There was a girl with glasses that a very deformed neck. It looked like a huge mass of melted skin was on the back of it. She had to have it on this thing with wheels, kind of like a walker, to get around it was so big. She had a tattoo on it. She was showing it to us.

I was in high school marching band again. I remember saying something to someone about it, telling them I couldn't wait until I didn't have to be in it anymore. We were on the asphalt practicing. The sun was setting.

~

I was living in a neighborhood instead of an apartment complex. Two people I know IWL, Meg and Alicia, were moving into these tiny, studio apartment-type houses. Alicia's husband was also moving in with her. The houses were right next door to one another. I saw them moving in, and the apartment was so small, when you opened the front door, you could see the bed right there. Alicia's sister and her husband, Andrew, were somehow involved in this as well.

I knew they both smoked weed, and I knew that now that they lived there, the second we hung out again, I'd be smoking again too. I wasn't worried about it though. I thought that I could control my habits now. In the back of my head, I knew that I wouldn't be able to in reality, but I didn't care. I just didn't want Dallas to find out. I was really excited about smoking and having such easy access to it.

I was then hanging about with Alicia. Her husband wasn't there. I don't remember where we were, but we were just chatting, when she asked if I wanted to smoke. Hell yeah! I really wanted to. She went and grabbed a bong from somewhere inside I think. She then was asking me about having sex while high. High sex is good, but I'd never done it with a girl. I thought about doing it with Dallas, but didn't know if I would be able to get away with it without him knowing I was high.

I think we smoked, but the only thing I remember about that is thinking that my eyes were red. I was hoping we wouldn't get caught smoking since the house was so small. I didn't want to get arrested or in trouble in any way.

Then, I was talking to someone else about weed. She pulled some weed out that was a light green with white on it. She said it was hydroponic. I smelled it. It smelled good, but not like super good weed. She then was talking about putting it on chapstick and rubbing it in your eye to get high. I then thought that if I did that, my eyes would be really red.

~

I was outside of some store at nighttime. I was writing to my first crush/first kiss, Nick. It was nighttime outside. I typed him a letter, and put three fingerprints on it. It told him to email me at a new email address, and also told him to listen to a particular song. I think my mom helped me type it. I read it over to make sure there were no mistakes. Instead of "Dear Nick," it said "Dear D____", with the spaces being something I can't remember, but it looked like the new email address that I gave to him. The fingerprints were below that, shaped like a pyramid, with two on the bottom and one on top.

After it was sent, I wondered whether or not he would even acknowledge my new email, or if he would just write back saying he had already heard the song. The point wasn't whether or not he'd heard the song, it was the lyrics that I wanted him to listen to.

I was then sitting outside of a public bathroom. It felt like I was at Disney. It was still nighttime. There was a little blonde girl of about 5 and her mom also sitting outside the bathroom on a bench attached to the wall. The blonde girl then started to talk to me. She said
"In my country (she said the name of the country but I can't remember), we can play in the bathroom."
She then was asking me if there were things in the bathroom she could play with while she went. At her feet, there were many children's books. I told her she could take a book in the bathroom to read, and she got excited. She went in and forgot the book. I went over to the stall, which was unusually short, and handed it to her over top of the door.

27.07.2013

Oneironaut Zero Saves Me (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Listened to a self-hypnosis recording I did with my voice and decided to continue not using WBTB, managed to get a decent lucid. Without even trying, SWEET!!!

Recall is okay, just the normal if I were to actually do a WBTB and have a decent sleeping schedule. It will only get better when I get more into making more audio hypnosis scripts and/or saying them to myself before sleeping at night. I managed to get my tonality and emotion-pouring down with the scripts, which makes the imagination that much easier. Might even make a longer hypnosis script for myself where I'll make a recording and save it for some other purposes.

Imagine being in an underground base where the dominant colors are mostly shades of blue and turquoise. The dream itself repeated some aspects for some odd reason, and it was mostly me checking if the person Oneironaut Zero killed stayed dead. But let's not worry about that right now.

All I can remember as I'm shifting back and forth with third person, first person, and just spectating what's going on over what seemed like watching a movie, I started harboring extreme sensations with adrenaline and fear.

My recall for this has a lot of patches, seeing how there were so many areas I must've traveled in a short span of time. Most of the double doors were electronic and open, and it seems every time I enter some area, I would see to my right side a wired fence shaped into a cube protecting random electronic objects. Like bases or power generators of some sort, and with how things were going, it seemed the building we're in has some kind of invasion of weird creatures, machines, and such occurring.

It seemed I was pretty lucky, not having to deal with all of that, yet. Throughout the dream, I felt sensations occurring within my head, neck, and back region. It was a sort of fuzzing and vibrating feeling, it didn't hurt, but it wasn't something I would want to tolerate for too long. It almost as if my senses were just elevated because of the rush and adrenaline surging through my dream body, that it was a matter of life and death, and all that mattered was getting out before I end up dead.

And as I'm running and dodging without looking back, as if all that was needed was for me to sustain the narrow tunnel vision I had in this dream, Krauser shows up yet again, and his countenance is completely different from the other dreams where he seemed to only show up to scare me, but never had any ambition to kill me.

He extends his left arm, and seems to be ready to facepalm my face straight into the wall behind me, and luckily, there just happened to be someone right behind me that he ends up hitting instead of me. Either he was still trying to scare me, or he just had crappy aim. I waste no time and immediately dashed to the open double doors to the left about 10 feet away from me.

Suddenly, I find myself accidentally tripping, and it's really, really hard to get up.

Great.

JUST GREAT!

While Krauser is trying to get his hand out from the person's head he slammed against the wall, I'm still struggling to get up. I felt like this dream was going to end up being miserable until someone in a blue-black jacket comes in rapidly, and the dream character looks a lot like Oneironaut Zero who's just waiting for a good fight with Krauser.

He indirectly signals me to leave, but I'm still trying to process how he came about. Eventually, I managed to finally get up from the floor, still looking at what Oneironaut has up his sleeve to deal with the Krauser dream character coming after me. And before I managed to get past the same left door that's now to the right of me (since I braced against the wall), Oneironaut Zero goes through some mutation while Krauser does the same.

There seems to be tentacles gradually coming out of the left side of O's face, then some grows behind his back, and after that, I was too afraid to really see the full transformation from both dream characters. I wanted to help, but it seemed O can hold his own, especially since I have no chance against a fully mutated Krauser that probably would end up twice the height of the original.

Now things shift back to me watching the events as if I'm looking at a movie or something. I noticed I started to pick up the pace with running away, but not only that, feeling more agile, flexible, and even ready to do super-human jumping as well. The scene that was previously saturated with a turquoise and blue atmosphere now changes into a mustard-yellow atmosphere.

And things are getting even more hectic as I'm trying to avoid the random machines and other-worldly creatures that are just too hard for me to process their visage and composition because of how I only cared about getting out of this place alive. I still worried about whether or not O would be fine dealing with the Krauser dream character, but I guess some kind of instinct kicked it telling me he'll be just fine.

There's a long metal chain that happens to be one of the few ways to get out of this place, and I immediately jump up to grab onto it. And as I'm slowly taking my time climbing up the metal chain, there seems to be random fighting below me. I noticed Wonder Woman (the Justice League version) seems to be taking pretty hard hits from whatever entities she's fighting. She's being thrown left and right and still while recovering each time to go back fighting full force.

All of this is still occurring while I'm looking at myself and the background scene in spectator mode. It seemed the dream character of me was so fixated on climbing upwards without looking down, and the more I focused wanting to get out, the more intense the fighting is below. I can hear the slashing, clashing, and all the punching sounds along with the grunts, moans, and screaming as well.

I wondered how the hell I got myself into this dream environment, and I'm presuming I finally made it to the top and I'm hopefully free and safe from all the chaos beneath me. My train of thought, or at least me being able to visualize myself starts getting patchy again.

I start seeing a few glimpses of areas I've been before, and I take advantage of this ability to check to see if O was okay. All I saw was Krauser's dead mutated body, so I'm presuming O managed to seal the deal and get out perfectly fine. But I didn't have time to speculate and try to again some assurance that he's alright, seeing how the monsters and machines most likely are tailing me by climbing the long metal chain as well.

From this point, I don't know where in the world I'm headed, all I remember was just jumping off somewhere very high. The dream environment and setting shifts completely now, and that's probably because I forgot what happened in the middle.

That's what I get for not doing a proper WBTB.

Anyway, I'm in a different scene, and my feelings are less anxious and intense, so I'm assuming things are safe now. Imagine me now being within a large and spacious area that resembles a base for small planes and helicopters to traverse. Surrounding me about 400 feet to 2 miles are large garage type buildings, as if I'm near some miltary base.

But it doesn't feel like that, it feels more like some type of training ground for people who want to pilot flying vehicles. And I find myself noticing that I'm waiting in a short line, and I quickly shift my head to the left to see who I'm waiting in line to meet.

I noticed there's a lady that looks like she's in he 30s, she has bowl cut hairstyle that's orange-red with a slight shade of black near the front regions before stopping to the side of her face. She's wearing a classic secretary black dress shirt and skirt that's a about knee-level.

She's filling in applications and signing forms I'm presuming, and while I'm waiting for my turn, I take the time to just look around and stare into random space. I noticed how it's early morning within this dream, and I can see the sun rise up slowly to my left side. And as I turn to my right, you know how you can see the heat waves or whatever from a distances where the light gives the illusion that the objects are bending?

It was like that for a a minute, and as I'm turning left and right occasionally, I turn to my left again to find an elderly man sitting about 5-10 feet away from the same female that's busy with the people in line. He has his back faced to her on her right side (my left side), and is sitting perpendicular from her.

It seems he's waiting for something, and I begin to notice how he's holding some kind of certificate in his left hand. I didn't want to pry into the information within this certificate, but because he's holding it in a way that makes it look like eye-candy, I can't help but zoom from far away to see that he's most likely trying to get his driver's permit or something.

The man is wearing thin-framed glasses, a few jagged features sustained in his visage, and is a bit obese, maybe 250-400lbs. He's wearing a green cap with a small streak of orange, if I remember correctly, and he's just casually reading this certificate to himself, probably to kill some time.

Then he finally gets his turn, and quickly gets up to meet the secretary like female I'm waiting for as well. She declares to him the type of license this man will be getting, and she stated some things that are hard to process, jargon most likely. I believe he had to have a restriction on his license or whatever it is he's trying to get because the female stated how he had some kind of disability.

She states this a bit loud, not too loud, but just enough to make the man feel ashamed for his disability. He quickly tries to cover the topic by questioning her randomly, but it's not really working out for him. I don't really pay too much attention to is situation with her, and I'm sure the dream characters I'm behind in line didn't really care, or at least pretended they didn't hear the conversation.

You know how you wait in line for something, and there's someone somewhere at the far corner of the area you're in that shows off or does something loud that makes every avert their eyes towards them? And then when things settle down, they quickly turn back so the person doesn't feel like people are staring at them like hawks? It was kind of like that, and as the man eventually has his situation covered, it's finally my turn to speak to the lady.

I honestly don't know why I'm standing here, but it seems the lady knows I'm here for something fortunately. She tells me that O gave me a letter, and I was puzzled for a bit. She tends down while still sitting on her black rolling chair to open a drawer and hands me a letter. I quickly tear the seal and read the glanced at the content for ab it.

Then I tried to re-read it to absorb whatever content the O dream character that saved me tried to give me in this letter. The letter is folded into thirds, hot-dog position, and as I'm trying to sustain my vision and make things a bit clearer, I find it difficult to read the content.

It starts getting blurry, and no matter how hard I tried to calm down, relax, and let the word trailing shift back to their original position, I can't really string together a cohesive train of thought from this letter. I believe I decided to put this letter in my pocket by folding it the opposite way after folding it back hotdog style and gave my thanks to the secretary like dream character female.

All I can remember from the letter was that O stated he was alright and didn't really have much injury from before, but he was more concerned that I hopefully got out alive without any injuries myself.

I can't recall what happened from this point, and I guess I tried to leave because I didn't want to stall the people waiting in line behind me.

Sucks I don't know what the O dream character was trying to tell me. It seems whenever there's a message being given to me, especially letters, I always end up having to save them for later only to forget them and never really getting the chance to see them before I try to have a dream where I can find the letter again without worrying if it was going to be a false copy.

If only I recalled this dream earlier, I'd probably be able to get out a few chunks within the letter, but that's my fault.

I felt even more guilty that despite of this O counterpart being a dream character, that this entity still cared enough to risk his own life to make sure I got out safely. It's happened before with a female that takes a laser cannon shot to her chest and stomach region, and a few others I can't recall off the top of my head. I'm personally glad O was just fine and things didn't end up where someone's life is taken away, compared to the dream I had months ago where the lady that pushes me off before possibly dying from the laser shot.

Those types of dreams where someone has to take their life are always hard for me to process honestly, even if it's all just a dream.

I wanted to do much more in this lucid dream, but I guess all I really cared about was seeing how the dream plot would unfold instead of sitting around doing nothing but wondering what to do.

NON-LUCID LUCID

Identification: (No. 78) Summoning attempt
Time Recorded: 9:00, 31-01-2012
Genre: Ordinary
Character(s): Gavin D.
Method(s): Mantra
Lucid: Yes (DILD)

I am sitting in my bedroom, at my desk, looking at a series of written messages on a single sheet of paper. For each paragraph there is an illustration on the right, of a lady dressed in 3-century-old clothing, from various angles. I somehow realise that I am dreaming and become lucid. I stand up from my desk chair and walk towards my door, thinking about what I should do. I get the impulse to summon someone. I look away, thinking to myself that someone will be there when I look back. I fall on my clothes drawer and lie there. I can hear Gavin's quiet feint voice, calling my name. I believe that Gavin is going to come here and wake me up. I start to loose the dream, so I try concentrating on the dream again, but it is too late.

SP was hitting me so hard over and over last night, so I finally relaxed and took advantage of it

I arrive in my room after a crazy amount of SP. I immediately start searching for Kaomea. I head outside, and fly down the street. I notice there's a huge X in a near by field. I go up to it, and I see a dial right in the middle of it. It has "NSWE" on it and geographically all the letters were pointing in the correct location. I look back at it, and the letters are jumbled. I touched one of them, and it turned into a number. I touched another one, and it too became a number, and both of them disappeared. I did this again, and those numbers popped back up. There was a pattern to this. Eventually I figured it out, and when all the letters and numbers disappeared, the dial upended up and there was this small key chain sized shotgun with a letter that said "from dave".

Recall is kinda jacked up from here...but I remember trying to use it against some animals that were trying to attack me.

Dream 1

I wrote my hubby a letter and after that he was trying to be nice to me. I walked into a room and he was lying on a bed with a short fattish lady, they were both naked. He looked at me while he was cuddling her and said "this is what you want to do..the fountain" ((this meant oral sex on a woman in my dream)) I said "what the fuck" and walked over to them both. I tried to push the fat bitch out of the way but I wasn't able to, and anyway my hubby was holding her tightly while he was touching her, I felt completly repulsed. My hubby then tried to make me give her oral sex but I managed to get away ((wtf)) I stormed out and slammed the door behind me, I screamed to him "You'll fuckin regret this" he answered by making loud "Ummmmmm" noises to try and piss me off and make me jealous, I shouted to him again "Fuck you!" I stormed upstairs and bashed the 2 hanging light switches and they clanged loudly against the tiles.

Dream 2

A bloke i know from work told someone that he would get them a ticket for a plane ride, this bloke was dead excited about it, I said "your joking, he wont get you one" ((Dream skip)) I saw this bloke from work talking to the other bloke again and he was telling him he wasn't able to get him a ticket, this bloke was gutted and he came over and told me, I said "I told you..he's so full of Bull-shit" ((lol))

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was looking through some kind of magazine like the New Yorker, although a lot of the formatting for the magazine seemed like it was for a popular men's magazine like Maxim.

There were three articles by Joyce Carol Oates in this magazine. I wanted to write Oates a letter to tell her how much I'd appreciated her articles. But I realized that I hadn't actually read the articles, and that I'd look like just some kind of "autograph hunter" if I wrote the letter, expecting a response, without having read the articles.

So I flipped through the magazine to find the articles. I found one of the articles, which seemed like a two-pager, on the front and back side of one sheet of paper. The article was all in some kind of grey text box. I figured this article would be the easiest to read, since it was so short. But even it seemed too long.

I got a little confused as to whether the article was one pages or two pages. I then came to the conclusion that the article was written on both sides of the page, but that the second page was partly taken up by an advertisement. So the whole article was less than two pages long.

The article, I could probably tell, was about Oates and her "new husband" taking their honeymoon in Italy. But the place they'd rented for their honeymoon seemed to me more like a place they'd just bought or rented for the long term.

The first paragraph mentioned something about how the apartment was just perfect "for allowing us to tatertater (an expression which means very much the same thing for us adults as it did when we were children)."

I couldn't figure out what tatertater meant. I just figured it had something to do with making tater tots "out of the can" (?).

So Oates was apparently pleased at first glance with the place. But she said that there ended up being a lot of faults. Mostly the place hadn't been very well cleaned after the previous occupants left. There were plenty of signs of their still having lived here.

One was that, "For close-drivers, a guard rail had been put right up against the edge." I couldn't quite figure out what close drivers would be doing in a house, or what kind of edge Oates was talking about.

But there was a picture, a kind of half-impressionist oil or pastel painting of the place. I looked at it and saw that there was some kind of babmboo fencing, still green, fastened all around the breakfast bar.

I realized that the "close-drivers" were people who pushed their babies in strollers everywhere and had the habit of bashing into everything with the strollers. The bamboo fencing was put up to protect the wood of the breakfast bar. The apartment seemed to be a living room with the kitchen inside of it. The breakfast bar and the kitchen counter seemed to be the biggest parts of this room of the apartment.

I was kind of worried. I didn't think I'd be able to get through this article. There was so much new language in it, so much current speech that I couldn't follow. I also felt bad because Oates, a few decades my senior, knew all this current vernacular, while I had no idea what it meant.

I continued reading the article and looking at the painting. Oates complaints were then that there were empty food cans strewn all over the place, as well as newspapers. I looked at the drawing again. There were newspapers and cans strewn on both the kitchen counters and the floor.

I thought, Did the landlords here bother to clean this place up at all when the last people left?

July 19th, 2010

It's 2:05 AM, and I have gone to bed to sleep.

Its 3:29 AM and I have awoken, my dream not being lucid or controlled, but mostly remembered.

I don't know how I've gotten here, it's somewhere with my friends who I will call Jorge, B, Ricardo and my brother ehalv.

At first we all rush into a white van, which belongs to the "Crips". We discover somehow that crip means "blue". We are all pretty shocked by this for some reason. We hop into the van in a rush. Why we entered the van with no precaution in it being owned by a gang, I don't know. A lingering sense that we we're running away exists. I get in last, already stuffing myself into the car. The first person I see is Ricardo in the front passenger seat. Wether he was there all along or not I don't know. He's asking me if the mosh pit was awesome, and then tells me it was. I shake my head yes. Someone appears to get in the car but we have already begun driving. We're in a hurry. I look behind me, only one kid sits on the left, alone. I notice the kid beside me attempt to hop back to fill the remaining seat and free room in this row. At this time, something out the front window catches my eye and I notice the driver has been distracted. He has veered off course, to his left a little, missing a right hand turn, over a curb and next to a playground. At this point I say "Hell no--AW HELLLL NO! He's on the playground! He missed the turn were on the grass!" and I say a little more, but I can't remember. Everyone laughs at the idea of me saying that in this situation, where I also began in turn giggling. We leave the car at this time, still laughing, someone repeats what I've said. In front of the car to the right is the playground, and several feet ahead of it there are dips, hills petruding in the grass going downward. Almost like giant stairs of grass. The driver says it's okay and that this is where we're supposed to be. I say aloud "It's all good unless the boys come!", or something along the lines. Not seconds later does gunfire erupt behind us. I sense bullets flying past me, as if they were raindrops falling sideways. We hurry to get into the van.

I've woken up.
A flash of a letter written to me on paper or a social networking site says "you used to scare me years ago but ever since i got a ...(taste*) i've wanted another ..." This is all I remember. It is from, who I will call, Rose.

Regret fills my head, as does guilt, for not remembering the rest of the letter, or other important information and other parts of dreams I may have fell into. Although I feel regret, I think it is falsely diagnosed to an event that has never occured before, and in being so, couldn't have affected my social, or in any case, daily life.

The dreams were not vivid. They were more of ideas that grew spontaneously, wildly and with ease, but never seemed to acheive full visual scope. At least, if I'm remembering correctly.

It is 4:06 AM and I return to bed to sleep. In my hand I hold an object. No larger than a chess piece, but considerably heavier.

It is 6:59 AM, I dreamt a little. I find it funny I remember less even though I was asleep for longer.
I hear commotion outside of my bed room. I end up in my breezeway facing outside at the door, I kneel down, I hear people yelling and talking. My friend Justin rides his bike into my backyard, he looks at me and says "I think I got a five", discreetly. He means five dollars. Suddenly they begin talking very loudly and my parents lights turn on, I tell them to keep it down. They panic and Justin hands me a gun. "We found a gun, a real gun, here" he says. I grab it and it feels heavy. Very heavy. I begin to panic as they leave, or dissapear but both are relative. I set it down beside some plants outside and walk back into the breezeway. Through the door in front of me, I see a group gathered. I exit the door back outside, this time into my front yard, and see my oldest brother surrounded by people asking him questions. He seems to have it under moderate control. I ask what it's all about. He says the dog got loose again. Standard procedure. I head inside, my dad is talking to someone about pizza, or food. I end up going downstairs to pee because someone is in the bathroom. A christian man follows me. He needs to pee and pees on the opposite side of the room. I end up not peeing at all and head back upstairs, with a handfull of bacon in my hands.

I'm awoken and the object I had held in my hand before falling asleep is laid side by side next to my phone on my bed. Seemed placed carefully, but I cannot remember doing so.

Morning of March 17, 1997. Monday.



This was a vivid dream of getting packages in the mail as well as being aware there are many older unopened ones. One is filled with jellylike candy.

The other packages are related to some sort of subscription in eventually building robotic animals. There are many parts of different birds that have to be built into “real” birds but which remain primarily statue-like. The heads do have veins and gore hanging from the necks but when attached in the kit, they make birdlike sounds. At one point in the background, our son seems to be in a cage for his protection from the larger mechanical or electronic parts in the room, though this does not feature more clearly.

I soon notice a large bear head that also has veins and flesh hanging from the neck. It also has a couple white plastic tubes and metallic cables connected to it. The head is somehow “alive” and “breathing” with a clicking sound. Some tubes come out of the side of the head as well.

There are also two parts of the top part of a bear’s body; front and back “shells” with possibly real bear skin and fur and there are also attachable bear “arms” (front legs) and paws. I tell my wife to move away as I am ready to build the “bear droid”, as I do not feel fully safe with the kit, which was apparently a free year’s subscription from a cheap multilevel-marketing company which is also likely involved in scams. The front and back skins zip together at the sides when the sections are attached. The bear head actually complains about how long it is taking me to complete his form. I let it believe what it wants to, due to not feeling safe in contradicting anything it claims about the scenario.

I ask the bear head if it needs food but it says no; it apparently does not need organic food to function (though it may need fuel or batteries at one point - I am not sure and do not ask). I attach the head to the upper torso and eventually realize that there are no bottom section parts in the house - and the electronic or mechanical torso is not complete yet (apparently relative to missing parts of the longer subscription that have not yet arrived). They may not even send the rest of the parts due to postal rates rising or the subscription running out. When mostly complete on the top, it tries to lick or “kiss” me at one point but I move away. I am not sure if it is just being playful, but I am somewhat aggravated and am wondering about its “programmable” nature and why there would be built-in annoying subroutines as such. My wife seems somewhat worried about the whole idea of a mechanical bear “droid” or even a realistic though mostly stationary model being in the house. Thus far, it cannot walk around (at least very well) at any rate and seems slightly top-heavy relative to its incompleteness.

At one point, there is a knife in its paw which I take away without any difficulty and from there, I cut the head vertically in half, having had enough doubt about the whole works - and it then complains that I do not like it - almost as if it is personal. The “bird droids” make a fuss as I cut the rest of it up into pieces as if there is some sort of link (though I do not intend to destroy or even damage the birds). I awake with the sound of louder birds in real life.

Morning of November 6, 1996. Wednesday.



I opened one of my journals randomly and noticed that it included the usual instance of precognition (of which I did not always record in detail as it was too common - in fact, there were days when it was almost continuous on a conscious level, but spontaneous and usually impersonal).

I have that November 6th (Wednesday) in 1996 was a “good day” but had recorded a strangely negative dream of being a homeless person; an “old drunk”, I think (which is about as far from my real nature as conceivably possible) of a completely different background (white Australian, I think), and being yelled at by a Korean woman from a nearby church mission. I do not understand what she is saying. I am mostly sleeping on the sidewalks in a larger city - not exactly sure where, perhaps Sydney. There was no reason for me to have dreamt this.

On the next day, Thursday, November 7, 1996 - I had gotten a completely unexpected missionary-type letter from a Korean church. We had not gotten any other letters of this nature and we had not been living there at that address that long. Normally, though, precognition of this particular nature unfolds within the same day, often an hour or two after waking. Similar events have happened often before throughout my life, sometimes involving me taking on the odd emotions and ideas of a letter or cassette tape I had not gotten yet and did not know was on its way. In one case, I actually found myself inexplicably yelling about something (I did not even seem to be “me” at all in mood) when I lived in Wisconsin and some of the exact phrases I used were on a cassette tape an adopted sister (A Snowbird, from California) sent me that I had no idea she recorded - from a disillusioned male (relating to Native American rights) talking who I did not even know and regarding some of the same detailed unusual events. Events like this have happened continuously throughout my life, both picking up on someone before I knew of them (even “unwillingly” projecting their mood), and some sort of remote viewing from an unknown consciousness that seemed a part of me - usually with exact details of an “already known memory” of what I could not have possibly known.