Recent DJ Posts

20th June 2021

Fragment:

Outside, walking through a town area of some kind, it's mostly flat, maybe with some downwards incline. I'm with someone I know closely, maybe J or L. There's something about a lan party of some kind. Walking through the town, maybe food or fast food is mentioned. There are eight of us in total? I am carrying a laptop around in one of the laptop bags we have here at home in waking life. In the dream, I am aware of my laptop being inferior to everyone else's.

Something about eating beans? There's some kind of sauce, maybe chilli, but no rice. There's a familiar taste.

While reading the exercise on p.78 of Dream Gates:

I'm sitting down and reading this exercise thinking about desert, then beach and then home. From the windows of many of the flats people are banging pots and pans, my awareness or focus on this quickly fades and then I'm focusing on the cars parked around the cul-de-sac, which are warm to the touch from the sun, but there is a morning light so actually most were in shade. Suddenly S appears, her lead is in my hand and she licks my face; I lick her back for good measure because I always feel she needs to have perspective of how it feels. She reels a little as she would.

Then she starts pulling hard on the lead, barking or growling at some passer-by and making me trip over and fall to the floor, vaguely feeling myself being dragged along but without any of the friction I'd expect. She makes her way to the hills behind the garages, it looks as it did after the shanties were removed but before the supermarket built. The scene changes to be next to the eucalyptus on that hill. Then, I have a vague intent.

It changes to unfinished highway that would be visible from the hill. I'm under the unfinished underpass of a concrete bridge. I know there's a door to my left but I cannot turn or see it from my point of view. I feel it's a metal door, painted a deep blue, maybe a little rusty. Like ones I've seen somewhere before in my childhood.

I sort of unintentionally break away from this and then just continue reading a bit more and then write some notes down for this.

---

Notes:

- Although the exercise asks for thinking of natural places and afterwards I found that my old home felt natural enough, because there's vegetation and bush in several parts and the building of where I used to live has always been pretty much on the edge of town, so nature of some kind has never been very far.

- The visualisation came about mostly unintentionally but it was pleasant, especially because although I couldn't see S very well, I appreciated the fact that she was there as some kind of animal guide. I was always told by mom that black dogs are considered luck charms in certain cultures, so I suppose that was present in my mind on some level. Thinking about it now, S appeared very well and despite vague visuals, she seemed just as I have always known her.

- The concrete underpass was shady and the unknown door could be a such a figurative entrance to the underworld and so on as the exercise suggests, even though the door might not lead down, it would go through earth.

Disturbing occurrences in a hospital
I am in hospital, in the room I was when I was last there because of my diabetes. I am afraid of someone or something who is also in the hospital. It seems to sort of be a person, and everyone is oblivious of it's true nature. I am very afraid of even seeing it, something is very disturbing about it and I want nothing to do with it. People keep wanting to show me pictures, but I avoid them. I feel uncomfortable and just want to watch TV but I get confused because there are constantly clones of TV channels.

Laptop fragment
My father tells me to charge my laptop, but I get frustrated that he seems to always decide things such as that.

I was atop some skyscraper construction, in a room just below the roof. It was mostly empty, with only tiles placed. There were no lights or glass panes, but it wasn't dark as sunlight getting through random openings lit the area. It was a noon. I went down some strange stairs that were wider or shorter in places and got to a small hallway opening to some industrial area which was part of the building. I was holding my laptop. I got out to the area and on a ledge on higher level of construction I saw some people coming. There was a way to another hallway, leading down the skyscraper. I followed it, but then a sudden shot at the chest killed me. I was back at the opening to industrial bit, went out and saw those people on the ledge again. This time I decided to move in the opposite direction than the second hallway, but I fell with my laptop into some water cistern. I didn't drowned, but for some reason I somewhat opened up a console and used a cvar that would reset the dream state back to the first hallway. After the reset I thought that this might be a dream and made a nose plug RC. It worked and I was lucid. I didn't had laptop this time and ignored people on the ledge when going out. I entered a strangely shifted spiral staircase that was hard to navigate and got to a tiled hallway. Following it I stepped through empty doorframe and entered a five star hotel. Going further I met some blonde woman in a long, black dress that instantly came closer and hugged me, then she started leading a dance. The dream became unstable and just like a game or some programme, it changed from "fullscreen" to "windowed" mode and I could see the woman hugging me in a window on bottom-left corner of "screen". In the background there were colourfull energy streams.

Fragments

Had a rather long and detailed dream, but somehow I forgot most of it when next came. I recall only some fragments, in one I was running somewhere, in another I made an overhead slash with a battle axe.

GUI

I was sitting with my friend with Witcher 1 running on my laptop. I realy liked it's GUI and showed it to my friend, thinking about using similar in next project I'm going to work on.

I'm in the lobby of a fancy building. I'm together with a woman and her 7 year old son. All I remember is that her son has an Arabic name. Not much later the son is gone and it's just us and some other people. There's a turnstile to enter a certain area of the building and there's an entry fee to be paid.. or actually more like an exit fee. Just like when parking your car. We're here to pick something up or to talk to someone, so I feel like it's unnecessary for both of us to go in and pay the fee. Eventually I go in. There were 2 guys at the turnstiles, one of them some kind of enabler / smooth talker.

I walk into the 'restricted' area, which is a big Chinese themed establishment, mostly coloured red. I walk around a bit with the smooth talker with me. The woman I was with is nowhere to be seen. The guy thinks I'm here to buy drugs, which I'm not. I forgot my real purpose, but I do tell the guy that I'm not here for drugs. The guy finds it implausible. Eventually I bring my face close to the guy's face to let him know that I'm not looking for drugs, but if he's got stuff, I'm interested to know what he's got. Hopefully he doesn't think I'm a cop. I remember at this point that I had one ring on each hand, two different ones. I walk and see a group of guys and 1 girl from my elementary / high school. I'm quite surprised. Here, in China? These are the people whom you'd expect to amount to nothing, so it's surprising to meet them on the other side of the world. The smooth talker greets them, I kinda awkwardly wave from a distance.

I continue walking around. I remember the left front tooth on the bottom being slightly loose. I push it back in, but do so a bit too far, pushing it further down than the other. I eventually manage to get them on the same level. I came here for nothing and now my tooth is messed up as well, because I came here. There are some seats which look like airplane seats. I'm holding a blanket which I intent to throw on the seats, but instead just drop on the ground. In the mean time the smooth talker is telling me about how impressive this place is and that it's all a facade for illegitimate business established by his boss, whose name I've forgotten. Even my 'friends' are part of the 'make it look legit'. I walk over to a table and sit down. Meanwhile a man picks up the blanket I've thrown down. I take out my laptop. My background image has the same checkered grey pattern as one of my boxershorts, including the buttons. I ask the man where my girlfriend is. The woman is not actually my girlfriend, but I feel it's easier to state it that way. A sliding door opens, showing a hidden room. The boss, who is some slick dude, is in the room with the woman (who has now changed appearances) and another girl. They're on a bed. Nothing is happening yet, but the woman I was with does look sorta busted. I know the other girl is someone's girlfriend. The guy is holding a big, black smartphone and it seems to be opened on a Whatsapp conversation. He gives "my" girl his phone, I suppose for her to insert her number. They end up making out. Throughout the whole ordeal she looks at my once or twice with a look that tells me she feels sorry for me / guilty, but hey, irresistible rich guy. I keep a straight face throughout.

The dream is somewhat recurring - place is the same and events of previous dream that happened there are mentioned many times.

Fragment

I was in my house, it was a midnight already. I was working in my laptop.

Dream

I was in Rio de Janeiro, in some kind of underground museum complex. I had a strong feeling that I was there before and thought "Again in that city. Maybe this visit would be better than previous one. And I might take some photos this time too!", then I went down some wooden stairs and entered a hallway with exhibits. There were many Christian figures and many other stuff chiseled in a brown rock. In one of the halls there was a strange figurine of Jesus. It looked really creepy in half-darkness, looking at me with ominous smile. I took some photos though, and noticed some arcs of energy on them. I thought "That's strange. Reminds me of previous visit in here.". I wandered some more around the place, visiting places that I've seen before. There were stairways made of black oak, I moved cautiously on them as there were pools with magma and a waterfall to which one could easily fall.

I decided to leave the museum and took a walk, thinking "This city offers a lot of entertainment". There was a great festival, people were dancing and playing on instruments. I took some more photos of festival, huge waterfall and some bay in the moonlight. All the time I saw those arcs of energy on them and got scared of dark god's returning after it was defeated in my last visit. I ran into an abandoned house - place where dark god was defeated last time and wandered in darkness. Wraiths that were damned to haunt that place were aggressive all the time and openly attacked me. I decided to get back into the hotel near museum and find some help. I met pal from previous class there, he reminded me what happened when we last me there, though it didn't had anything to do with dark god. I showed him photos and movies from all around the city and from the haunted house. He believed me, then the dark god have risen and opened up volcanic chasms around the hotel.

I'm sitting in a library. There are three computer workdesks standing right next to each other. I'm sitting at the right one. There is something using the middle one. It's a guy. He's quite talkative. At some point I mention that I really need to focus on my work. A while later my classmate Kristen is using the left one. The guy meanwhile keeps going on and on with distracting me. Eventually I throw him, black chair and all, to the ground. He's lying on his back, still in the chair. Perhaps I even threatened him. The guy leaves. I get back in position and fiddle with an orange highlighter for a while. I explain my burst of violence by stating that I already mentioned that I need to get this done. I don't want to dole too long on an explanation though, cause else my classmate may think it's weird that I would go to such lengths to get some peace, only for me to continuously keep talking myself.

The wall in front of me is made out of glass, so I can see the guy come walking back together with my old mathematics teacher. Damn. This is gonna drag out. Plus, since this is America, the guy might sue. They come back in and I just pretend not to be aware of their presence, continuing my homework in my paper notebook. I'm not sure if the teacher actually said something. A bit later Eminem is rapping. Somehow it's supposed to relate to me. I can't remember which song it was. I keep working, but eventually interrupt him. I tell him that he's one of my favourite rappers, that is one of my favourite songs and the part he just did is my favourite part of that song, but I've got homework to finish and he is so awesome that I'm focusing on the music instead of on my homework.

Garden
I'm in the same big garden where I really was a few days ago, with a lot of people for an event. Somewhere in the garden I suddenly hear a sound. I don't remember what it sounded like, but upon looking it turned out that a fan had just dropped to the ground. It's a bit distorted due to the impact. Some people have already gathered around it. I think about going there as well, but what's the purpose. I walk the other way. In the mean time I start to think about how crazy it is that Snoop Dogg, this laid back stoner who says nigga all the time, is working for NASA as an engineer. I walk over to my friend Frank, who is playing an addictive reaction based game on his phone. We get to talking and he wants me to have a go at the game. I tell him I'm avoiding it, cause I know I'll be addicted to improving my own score.

A little bit later, my friend Re is here as well. We're sitting down with Frank. We get to talking about his girlfriend. He uses a different name than from what I was expecting, which throws me off for a moment. The conversation moves to a type of Skype programme. Re's pc is standing on the desk right next to me. I press the Windows key to make the search pop up and start looking for this programme. Totally not an invasion of privacy... In the end my friend San is there as well, and FIFA is booted. I quickly use the username "M", not wanting to bother to use an actual name. I then get to choose the level of difficulty. I think it may have been set in Dutch.

I was driving a car with my father. We were driving through a forest, looking for something or someone. We were driving in our second car, a black Audi. Changing from several levels was somehow stiff. First we drove into the forest and next to the right, then we backtracked and turned left. But we've drove in wrong direction and I had to reverse again. When we finally got on proper road, we had an obstacle on our way - a tractor. It moved to the side and we were able to drive away.

Later when I was in home, mother told me that somehow they found money to buy me a new laptop. I wanted to find a work so I could get it, but now it wasn't necessary. I asked her about specification, and she told me that it's a strong rig. Then my brother arrived and asked me about lending him some clothes. I went to nearby room and turned on the lights - first the light bulb was blinking, then glowing faintly. I called mother to report that to her. Then with brother we checked my wardrobe.

Bed: 23.00
Wake up: 07.45
Now: 08.00


Fragments
» I'm sitting on the couch in my mom's living room together with my little brother. I'm looking out the window. There's a party going on on the other side. The building is missing a wall, allowing me to look inside. There are just a few people, all teenagers. I'd say about 8 girls and 2 guys. I can't hear any of the music, making the dancing seem all the more weird. Adding to that is that the people are dancing in different rhythms. Is this a silent disco? I tell my little brother to have a look.

» I remember seeing a list of anime's. Three of them are different variations of Naruto. There's the original, Shippuden and then some other. Naruto is slightly older in every one of them. There's also something going on at one point, where I can select a character from the anime. I choose Shikamaru. There's something going on with a needle passing the screen and my finger. It's sowing into my finger. I can feel the pain of it a bit.

» I'm looking at FB on my laptop. The timer of stayfocusd seems to have run out, yet I'm still able to keep spending time on FB. Perhaps the timer won't allow me to reload?

» I'm in Indonesia, looking for a toilet. At some point I finally find one, though it's weird looking. I decide to pee anyway. Some people enter the hallway and with the door and walls being quite shady in this situation, I'm afraid of being spotted. Eventually a slightly older woman wearing a hijab and glasses comes in. She informs me that this is not a toilet, but a wasbak [sink]. Damn. A few seconds later, two women/girls exit from two white doors behind me, which seem like the actual toilets.

» I've just finished doing... something. Work perhaps. I've already gotten mostly dressed, but I hop into another big dressing room. A girl joins me in there. She leaves shortly after. I'm pretty much all done getting dressed. All that's left is for me to put on my black vest and my backpack and leave. I do this as slowly as possible, hoping that the girl will come back before I leave. She does come back just before I exit. A few moments later an English teacher from my high school is also there. She's asking what the plan is. The room has turned into a hotel bedroom with 2 separate beds. She's asking in a way that tells me she doesn't want me here. I tell her I wasn't planning on staying. I'm actually from this city, so I have a place to sleep. In my mind I curse this woman [who I already hated anyway].

» I'm meeting up with a friend on my way out. He invites me to join him and my other friends to [something] Monologues, or something. It's a play at [...] TTT. I'm trying really hard to resist, as I have a thesis to finish. In the end I give in, thinking to myself that I should allow myself to have some fun as well. I buy a ticket online for € 27,- In the end my friend informs me that he won't be going anymore. Fuck.

Bed time: ~23.00
Wake up: ~07.00
Now: 07.25

I was awake for an hour from 04:00 to 05:00. It’s Ramadan right now and the mosque nearby likes to remind everyone in the vicinity of that through praying loudly through a speaker.

Tooth
I’m standing next to a building, which may have been an apartment complex. One of my teeth (right side, upper row) is annoying me. I fidget a bit with it, because it just doesn’t feel good. It’s very loose and even though I’m trying to push it back, I’m afraid it will fall out soon. Suddenly it hits me that this is an issue I only have in dreams. I try to push my fingers through my palm. No success. I loose the idea of a dream for a moment. I’m not sure if I woke up for a few seconds. A few moments later I ask myself why I didn’t try multiple RCs when the first one failed. I try the same RC again, confident that this is a dream, despite it failing the first time. It works. Immediately I start levitating. I try to remain calm and keep looking at my hands. One of my hands is sort of wavy. I try to bend the fingers that are in my palm upwards and backwards. I get quite far. Meanwhile I’m levitating a few metres above the ground, not necessarily against my will, but also not because I wanted it. After just a few moments the dream starts to fade. I try to remain in it. I can’t rotate like this. I try to focus on my hands. I also shout stabilise (or a similar command). It’s slowly turning dark before my eyes. One of the last things I do is raise my arms. I can feel the sensation of doing so. I wonder what my real body is doing in bed.

Touch
I’m at what is supposed to be the city hall of the city my mom lives in. It’s the old building, which has been abandoned and been overgrown by plants. I’m interested in going through this abandoned building. I approach it, trying to squeeze myself in between the roots of the plants and what not. I scratch myself on some thorns. It hurts.

Nothing about that building resembled reality. Also, I don’t experience a sense of touch very often in dreams.


Written the following dreams after a few hours, because I didn’t have enough time in the morning to write it all down, meaning I’m missing some details.

Wolfish porn?
I have my laptop with me I think. I am in the mood for some porn. At first I consider that I don’t watch porn, but I think I give in. It turns weird real quick. Next thing I remember is that I am seeing something happening in front of me. There are 3 people. One girl, one guy and the other… I think is also a guy. The guys turn into part wolf part man beings. I’m not sure what happened after that (also not sure if I want to know).

Sleepy head
I’m at the train station. There’s a sprinter train [common type of train in the Netherlands]. I’m waiting for people to get out, so that I can get in. The door is not where it is supposed to be. It is located at the short end of the train. There are some particularly rude people who squeeze their way into the train before everyone has exited. At one point, even a white female staff member does the same, blocking off her colleague who is trying to exit. I finally get into the train. There is something going on, some obstruction I guess, so the train turns into the bus and we hit the road. I fall asleep and when I wake up, we’ve gone past the stop where I wanted to get out, which is my mom’s city. I consider asking the bus driver to stop, but I know that he’ll stop at the next stop instead.

Going crazy
I’m riding a motor, with my girlfriend on the back. We have to stop somewhere for a police check or something. The person behind the counter is asking me to pay Rp. 3.000. It’s not a lot of money at all, but I am frustrated by the corruption and refuse to do so. Next thing, we’re having lunch at the same place. The owner, a guy, offers us something that’s not on the menu. It turns out to be insanely expensive and I go crazy over it. Somewhere in between him bringing the lunch and me figuring out how crazy expensive it is, there are dogs trying to eat our food.

Bed: ~23.30
Wake up: all the time, cause I'm taking care of my sick girlfriend
Now: 07.05

Dejavu
I'm in my old student home, on the top floor, together with my girlfriend. I'm just visiting I guess. For some reason I go downstairs. My old room is there, with two thrash bags in front of the door. Really? They [old housemates] put them there instead of just throwing them out. There are flies circling the bags. I go into the kitchen. There are several trash bags right in the middle. There are flies circling them and the number of flies increases quickly. I exit the kitchen and go back to the upper floor. I don't remember the transitions from second to first floor and back occurring (i.e. climbing the stairs).

I'm outside with my girlfriend. We're on our way to the city centre of my student city. She has something in mind and I have no clue what it is. We enter a weird looking subway station [that city doesn't have a subway]. We don't check in and I'm wondering if we should, to avoid a fine. There's someone up ahead checking if you checked in, but we take a left down a hallway. She's walking quite a bit in front of me, to my annoyance. I'm trying to ask her where we're going, but she's pretty much jut ignoring me. We're going up a set of stairs, I think with a purple railing. There are some people coming down as well. We're walking on the right side. I'm silently saying 'goddamnit' cause my girlfriend is way ahead and not letting me in on the plan. We arrive somewhere at a door. A white guy opens the door and tells us we need an invite [happened in the movie I was watching before going to bed]. I'm somehow allowed to enter. My girlfriend stays outside for a bit. The guy asks me a question (what I'm doing here I guess?) and I'm not sure. I decide to let my girlfriend in. When I open the door, immediately to the right there's a white couple making out. My girlfriend is the only other one standing there, not even a metre away from the couple. She comes inside. Apparently this is an apartment she came to check out. She'll be living with two white guys if she decides to take the room. The other guy is lying on the couch, talking in an eastern European sounding language on the phone. I look out of the window. I can see a lot of typical old Dutch buildings standing in a line. This place looks great and is in the city centre. I wish I had taken the effort to check around when I lived in this city. But then again, it would've been a waste of the fees I paid to change rooms. Suddenly my girlfriend is behind the other guy in terms of distance from me. I think she went into the room and I wonder how she did it so quickly. I see a door to my left. Then I realise that she is just also on the couch, or a similar object, but just further to the back. In the next moment, she is cuddling up with the guy. She's sitting on his lap. This is... weird. I had a dream just like this recently [no I didn't]. Dejavu moment. I realise this might be a dream and try to push my fingers through my palm. Success! Ok, take it easy. You should stabilise. I continue moving my fingers around in my hand a bit, while wondering what I should do with my lucidity. I consider tinkering with the gravity. Naaahh. My girlfriend comes standing next to me and starts trying to distract. I consider building a cell out of thin air to trap her in, so she won't distract me anymore.

Chicks with dicks
Had a weird dream where I was reading an article and there was a term in there I didn't know. I figured the term would be NSFW, so I went into private mode. I searched for it and I landed on a tube site. From the look of the previews, the term referred to women who have two penises. I scrolled through it a bit, in a sense of revulsion mixed with curiosity.

First fragment

I turned on my laptop and started working - I was making textures and models, then used them to make maps for a Half-Life mod that I was creating.

Second fragment

I was writing a forum RTD game set in S.T.A.L.K.E.R games universe. A first reply was about another game like that, only a few days older and quite worse.

I'm in an electronics shop. I've brought my Macbook Pro in because there is an issue with it. The thing I'm focusing on right now is that one of the rubber feet has fallen off (really happened). The employee I'm talking to is an older white man with grey hair. He presents me with a DIY fix which involves cutting out a makeshift rubber foot out of some different material, which is grey. I can get the perfect shape by placing the fallen off rubber foot on it and cutting around it. I end up with a hole in the material though and cause the material is a bit stretchy it doesn't really work. I wonder if the guy is going to charge me for this. He starts asking me how old my laptop is. I immediately recognise that this is a sales talk. I tell him and he comes up with packages of cables I could buy. My laptop will be obsolete soon and then I will have a hard time finding spare parts, so best to buy them now. I tell him I've already replaced a cable recently, so I'm good. While I'm placing my laptop back inside my bag, he walks over to his colleague. They're a bit in the distance, but I can clearly hear and see the frustration of the guy over my refusal to buy anything off him. I consider telling him to be more professional.


I know I've also dreamt something about my girlfriend, but I can't remember what.

Fragment

I was in my kitchen with whole my family. We were preparing the kitchen to start painting it.

Dream

I saw two special agents in a restaurant of some kind. They were tracing paranormal phenomena. When they were just going to leave, another man in suit burst out of wall (still leaving it intact) and said something about his paranormal power.

Following him through the wall I landed in some kind of archeological did site. There was my sister with some girls from my class. My sister was making some kind of movie. She needed actors, so I agreed to take up a small role. I only had a short one liner, but I messed up at first. Second time I did it intentional, and third time I wasn't able to say it, as someone did it before me.

I looked at a desk and saw that they were using my laptop. I checked it's state and saw that it had two additional partitions and hard drive was fully cluttered. I asked brother how to remove them, and following his advice I used regenerate function and then deleted. Checking what's been installed on my laptop I saw that there was a game called "Wyrm" installed.