Recent DJ Posts

I think I only had one whole sleep last night, when I woke up I almost forgot my dream but then I suddenly remembered it (thank god).

The first thing I can remember was being in this enclosure type cage with some kind of dog and I was tired of "staying behind these walls and want to go to the outside world" (Attack on Titan reference?). I soon climbed over the cage fence and escaped.

The next thing I remember was I was at some beach and there were heaps of masked people sort of lined up like this:



and they'd claimed the land and it was forbidden to go enter if you weren't apart of their cult. So I tried evading them by going a bit to the side where there was one and I thought maybe I could sneak past. As soon as I set foot on the sand, I was detected and I was attacked with bows and arrows, swords, so I flew up and got out of there.

Next I was in some kind of hall with one of my friends and we were looking after kids that all acted like dogs. Then at some point I was shopping in a supermarket and soon after that I was in my school. Another one of my friends (she was in a previous dream "AVATAR - With Koalas?" and called her Jodie for the sake of the story) came back from her holiday from Africa and we introduced her to the new guy at our school, who we'll call Ethan and next thing you know, Jodie swears (brief history: She's really sensitive to swearing, hence why this was such a shock to me in the dream, I should've realized I was dreaming at this point because it was so unlikely aha).

I don't remember what happened after that and I woke up

Dream 1

I was at a football game with my dad. My dad was drunk and he was having a laugh and chat with one of my friends dads. They sat together to watch the match and me and my friend had tickets somewhere else in the stand to watch it. Then the scene changed and I was at another football stadium, we were on rov V and it was cool. Then scene changed again and I was flying an aeroplane in 3rd person under bridges.

Dream 1

I was going out for a meal and the restaurant was close to where I work. When I was walking to the restaurant I said to a girl 'Ay can I get your number?' She spoke with an accent and said 'No.'
'Ok then, see ya later' I said. As I was walking away she shouted me. 'Ohhhh you want MY number? Yes you can have, we go for date, for meal?'
'Errm, yeah OK. I've gotta get going for a meal, I'll text you later' I say. Then scene changed and I was at my house, across the road was a house party, I was meant to be going. I was getting changed and I was jamming to Kanye West - So Appalled

Dream 2

I'm sitting outside my front door of my house, I just smoked some good kush which had some weird effect on me, it was from a cigarette as well. I chucked that away and went to go back in my house, I left my bag outside the front of my house and it had loads of weed in it and also a bong. There was also a load of paperwork and other random stuff. Then I heard a ring at my door, and I realised my bag was still outside. Panicking I get to the door and see my sister going through the bag, there was the bong on the floor with loads of other stuff. My mum was there as well, and my nan and grandad. My mum picked up the weed put it in the bag, without saying anything. Then I picked up a bag of like compost out of my bad and said 'Oh I found my hemp.' Then she realised, she was very disappointed she said. So was my grandad. My brother said he asked my grandad once 'Which was worse smoking weed or going to jail?' He said smoking weed. So I knew he was angry. Then when they went inside my nan said she doesn't think its that bad, social conditioning led them to think it was. I was pretty surprised she said this, anyway I left and went to get the bus as I was annoyed about their reactions.

Woke after five hours vaguely remembering a dream about being on a space ship. Some kids were catching a ride by hanging on to our landing gear as we went between stations, and I wondered how they didn't freeze and suffocate in the airless void.

I wasn't planning on doing any real practice since I didn't sleep much last night after my excellent LD got me out of bed early and writing furiously, but since I'd woken up from REM I thought I'd run through some SSILD cycles just for fun... and this provoked a sleeplessness that eventually got me out of bed an hour and a half later without having fallen back asleep at all. So no dreams, but I did manage to record fragments of the hypnagogic phrases that manifested at certain points:

"...the beautiful eye, and the faithful smiling hand..."

"...the stress of a healthy city farm too..."

"...semantic, and by the way kill the emperors..."

Mostly these were just words running through my head without any corresponding imagery, but at one point I had a hypnogogic image like I was looking at a forum post (unsurprising given that I waded through almost the whole SSILD thread yesterday, a tedious enterprise at 36 pages). So this one I "read" visually rather than thought directly. My recall of first few words flickered out almost immediately, but the sentence concluded "...and the king's building in apotheosis."

Last night I had several dreams but those were quickly forgotten, however one dream was just so close to being lucid I just couldn't think about anything else.

1. Seriously!?

I'm walking towards a retirement house somewhere in a city and I see old people running around the building on the second floor 'Assasins creed' style. Suddenly I'm up on that floor and standing on the narrow ledge infront of a window, it's a 10 meter drop and old people run past me like they're doing a marathon. Inside is a restaurant and my family is there, waiting for the food and I'm looking around. I carefully navigate around the building holding anything to keep me on the ledge until I encounter the hotel manager I think who points down at some trampolines. He sais it's perfectly fine and I should jump off, I refuse and he goes first instead, he jumps but lands on his back on the road below. I expected him to break his back or be dead but he quickly stood up and stumbled away shouting "I'm okay!". At this point I feel as if I'm being fooled in some TV-show, I quickly jump in the building through the open window and I'm in the other part of the restaurant. I'm so angry, I bust through the doors of the kitchen to make my way to the other side of the restaurant to my family, while I'm walking I do the nose-plug RC 3 times and 3 times I can breath normally. I just don't focus on it because I'm so furious . When I get to the table and look at my parents I say "Wait" *Realizing it's a dream...*, I wake up.

Really, I was SO CLOSE. If had noticed it a second earlier I would've been able to stabilize it!

A man - or rather something that can look like a man - is a guest in this old couple's home, and he's just won some kind of friendly contest between them. As he's about to leave, the wife tells her husband to go fetch something in particular from the attic, something to give to the guest as a sort of trophy for winning that contest. The husband produces a scarf that he believes has several hairs from a certain genius musician woven into it. It was given to him in Paris long ago in recognition of something, and it's very precious to him, so it's a worthy gift. The guest takes the scarf but sees that the hairs woven into it actually come from a cat. The wife was aware of this. By forcing him to accept this bogus gift, she's tilted the contest in their favor in the end. The guest acknowledges that it's her win, without letting the husband know.

As the guest leaves, he's thinking about the rematch they'll have when he returns to this place in 83 years. The people he'll be having a rematch with are that couple's descendants, but he doesn't understand the difference between a person's descendants and the person themself.

I had another lucid dream last night, but I fell back asleep (See the dream fragments that followed), and when I awoke for the second time, I could not recall it, only the fact that I woke up and had a LD.

I can recall bits of what felt like a very long dream involving my family taking a vacation near a beach.

I can recall the beach looking much like one from the northern united states in that there were no palm trees and the weather did not feel very tropical. There was a large lighthouse on a pier. Also the weather seemed somewhat chaotic with storm squalls rolling in.

I can recall us trying to find a good spot on the beach when we encounter a man with several large buckets and a net. He is attempting to catch these large, fat creatures in the water that look something like stingrays, and are about three feet long.
He explains that the creature's tails produce a toxin (It looks like orange goop). This is only toxic however if it is placed directly into the bloodstream (you can rub it on your skin and be fine.) He also explains that if you eat it, you will be fine because the stomach acid changes the chemical makeup of the toxin. He explains that eating the tail with the toxin on it is considered a delicacy in his part. Sounds a little risky.

I can recall our room as well. The room has a high ceiling and windows with a good view of the ocean. My parents are laying on their beds, both on computers. My aunt, uncle and cousins are in the next room over. (I guess it was more of a condo than a hotel)
I am going into the bathroom to brush my teeth and change into my pajamas. The bathroom is very small, and the floor is covered in beach sand that somebody must have tracked in here. After much sweeping with my hands, I manage to get most of the sand into a pile. I then walk outside and throw it out the door onto the beach.

I can recall we are driving to other locations near the beach condo. There are these farm fields and forest locations nearby, and there are these huge thunderstorms advancing across the plains. I am yelling at my dad to follow the storms like a tornado chaser or something. We do in fact see several small tornadoes touch down in the distance, but none of them do much damage.

July 18, 2014

My recall today is not so great but that is my fault for not writing it down soon enough. It was a good dream but it is fragments now. I was at the mall walking around with friends, exploring places but i picked up no more plot details.

Dream - Lucid


I was with my husband at what was supposed to be the house he grew up in. The house was small with wooden floors. His family was there; we were visiting them for the holidays.

I was in his room with him, and I saw this HUGE black and white spider sitting on the air vent on the floor. So unsettling...I hate spiders so much. I don't think I said anything about it to my husband, but I was super freaked.

Then, there was this other giant spider, but this one was red and black. It was chasing my foot wherever I moved it. I was panicking. It opened its mouth and hissed at me. I somehow deduced that this spider was poisonous because of this. I moved further away from it. There was another giant spider there at this point as well.

I then was laying in my husband's childhood bed with him. It was nighttime, and quite dark in the room. I was laying there with my eyes opened because I couldn't sleep due to the damn spiders. I made up my mind that I couldn't be laying in that bed with all the spiders lurking about. I told him that.

There was more to this dream, but I cannot remember.

~

I was going to spend the holidays with mine and my husband's family, though not all at the same time. We would be with my family one day, like on Christmas Eve, and his on Christmas Day. I remember being in the kitchen at the house I grew up in and reading a text or a note on paper about this. It was from my mother-in-law.

Then, my friend Cherie' said her dad (never met him IWL) said my husband better see him for the holidays. I was concerned that he wouldn't make it to my family's in time if he did that.

The next thing I remember is being in our apartment. We were in the living room, and Cherie's dad, who, in my dream, was a short, fat man, maybe Cherie', and my friend Ashley's brother's wife came in. Ashley's brother may have been there as well.

Some of them sat down on our couch. Cherie's dad and Cherie' started to play fight. One had been on the couch, and the other on the floor.

Then, I was designing some tube-like roller-coaster ride with Courtney S. It was indoors, and would take you in a flume in the water through this small opening. It looked as if adults could not ride because the opening was so short. Then, you would ride in this rainbow tube really fast; you would ride what you designed. It was kind of like CyberSpace Mountain at Disney Quest in Downtown Disney.

I designed one for Courtney and I to ride. I remember putting in lots of drops and sharp turns and a couple of loops at the end. We went to go ride it. We were sitting in the flume, and Courtney was sitting in front of me. She was wearing a white shirt. I was surprised she fit through the short opening, because she is very tall. Before we could enter the tube, I fell out of the flume into the water. I somehow got back in, but I'm not sure how. The ride was very fun and wild, though I think I only got to ride the last part of it since I had fallen out before.

Then, Courtney designed a ride. For some reason, I couldn't be there. I'm not sure where I was, but I saw this flash of a long poem. Courtney had written it. It was about how much she loved me (not in a romantic way, but in an unconditional way). Though I didn't get a chance to really read the words, I intuitively knew that that's what it was. Cherie' then told me that the ride Courtney had designed was an expression of her love for me. I knew inside that she was not upset that I wasn't there for the ride. She understood.

~

I don't remember where I was, but it was very realistic. Something seemed weird, though I can't remember what it was exactly, so I did a finger count RC. I looked down at my left hand, and could immediately tell I had too many fingers. I counted just to make sure, and got six.

Holy crap! I'm dreaming! I honestly didn't expect the RC to work; I thought it was real life!

I remembered my goals quite clearly, and really wanted to try to dream share again, but I did not feel that I was in a deep enough sleep to do it (will explain more about this at the end). Instead, I approached some DCs and asked them some questions, and of course, had to tell them that we were in a lucid dream.

Then, something about my wedding photographer, Rachel. She was coaching me with something, though she wasn't supposed to be. I can't remember what it was though! I was in a room with her.

I woke up and went back to sleep.

I was still lucid, and Rachel had gotten moved to another location. I found her. More coaching. I remember flying or floating at some point. I thought about it too hard at first and it failed, then remembered I could just think about it and it would be so. And so I just thought about it without focusing too hard, and I floated up.

Woke up, went back to sleep. I would say I was semi-lucid for the rest of the dream.

They had again moved Rachel, but this time, I had to get caught with her the first time I went in. It was very video game-esque. I had to go into this temple, or pyramid. It reminded me of Ancient Egypt. There was water flowing in the opening I entered, and light was then coming through a small opening where the water was falling into the pyramid. I knew that was where Rachel was, but she was with someone else, someone who did not want me there. I do not even think that this someone was human. What I had to do was go through the opening, get caught and thrown out, and then have to find a new way in because the original way would get blocked off. The lights would also be out; I would have to do it in darkness.

I then was having to load up these dirty dishes onto this conveyor belt that took them up into an incinerator. I'm pretty sure I was naked? Anyway, I would have to run up some stairs to grab all the dishes that were empty or unused, and take them off the belt and put them somewhere else to be recycled. I was explaining this process to someone. I then loaded the dishes on the belt, checking first to see if they were empty so I could remember which ones were and weren't when I got up the stairs. I loaded a bunch, then raced up the stairs. The belt was moving too fast for me to save every dish, and I could not focus on seeing which ones were dirty and which ones weren't. I pushed a button to bring the last dish put into the incinerator back out. I put that one aside for recycling.

Then, when I woke up again, I stayed awake. I felt rested, so did not try to push any more sleep; when I do this, I wake up with a headache, especially after lucidity.

~

Coming back to what I mentioned earlier about dream sharing and deep sleep: I have found that when I wake up in the morning after a pretty decent amount of sleep during the night, I am more likely to become lucid from being awake for a little while; it stimulates my brain, and I am able to become lucid much more easily. However, there is a catch: I cannot hold the dream for as long as I would be able to if the dream occurred during the sleep I get at night when I am the most exhausted. When I become lucid during the night, I have much longer lucids and can perform more tasks, such as dream sharing, for example, though I have only dream shared a handful of times. At any rate, the dream quality is better, and I am less likely to wake prematurely. When I attempt things like this during the morning after I have already gotten plenty of sleep, it fails or I wake up. Usually both. So I decided not to attempt it this morning, because I knew I would wake up, and, of course, my morning lucidity was peppered with awakenings. It happens a lot for me in the mornings, but, like I said, this does not usually occur during the night, though I am less likely to become lucid during my nighttime dreams. I am hoping that I can find a way to improve this. I may try the WBTB method during the night, but when I wake up during the night, many times I have difficulty going back to sleep. If anyone has any advice, let me know.

1. I was inside school, in my ROTC class that I used to be in(Im not in it anymore). The class was very active and filled with many students. I was sitting down near the middle of a row of seats when I noticed this girl behind me that ive had a crush on. Her name is Lisbeth. I turned around in my seat and talked to her. I talked to her about what she was doing tonight and about the outfit I was wearing. For some reason I was wearing two pairs of slim jeans in the dream, one red pair, and one black pair. I was wearing the black over the red. I asked Lisbeth whether or not I should keep on the red only, or the black. She said to keep on the red. So, I got permission from one of the instructors to go to the restroom to change. I walked out and went into the nearest one. Once I got in, I simply took off my black jeans, and kept on my red ones. I walked back out, and into my class and sat back down. Me and Lisbeth talked some more. As I sat down in my seat I realized I was also wearing a red jacket, and I asked Lisbeth, "Imagine if my whole outfit was purple". And she said it'd look really cool. All of a sudden, my entire outfit turned purple, right before my eyes. I thought it was just my imagination so I didnt pay much attention to it. Just then, I had to leave, but I dont remember what for. However, when I came back to class for the 3rd time I went to go back to my seat, but one of Lisbeth's friends, Gabby, was sitting next to her. I decided to just go talk to them while standing up(I was trying to get this girls cell #). I then asked the two what they were doing tonight. They said they were going to some Bible/church event. At this point I didnt ask to go with them yet, but I planned on asking them later. After that, I went to the back of the class with these other girls. Oddly enough, in the back of the class, there was a HUGE cave system, and it was one of those water filled caves. I looked into it and saw a girl swimming towards me and the other girls. I said, "Hey guys, who's that coming over here." They all looked and said it was Savanna or something(her name started with an S for sure). Once she got to where we were, we all just chilled and talked. I remember looking out into the cave system and being amazed by its beauty. It was so vast, and water filled it up to the point where it was a pool. It looked like it extended for a mile or 2. Somehow the entire room we were in got completely emerged in water. When it did, I remembered that my phone was in my pocket and that it couldve got ruined. I took it out, and then I suddenly remembered that it was water proof(it was a galaxy s3, so it really wasnt). All of the girls were amazed and I showed them that it also worked underwater as well. There was a small air pocket near the ceiling, and my phone had some plastic piece on it that made it waterproof. This came off for a second so I quickly swam to the air pocket to reattach it to my phone. Once I finished that I came back down, but now the water was gone. And everyone was chilling in a room that resembled an aquarium, but the cave was still where it was. However, now a glass wall separated the class from it. Later on, I remember being somewhere else. I had left the class and was straight up wandering in a ghost city it seemed with my close friends- dylan, patrick, and trey. We were just walking around in this city and it was also an overcast day. I still had on my red slim jeans, but I had lost my belt when I took of my black ones. I walked into a big open room in the city somewhere and just sat there. My friend dylan came in with a huge stuffed old lady and kept making it to where she was dry humping my you know what. Disgusted by this I told dylan to stop although it was quite funny. He did and we left the room and continued wandering. We came to the middle of the city it seemed as it was crowded. There was a bank, a system of train tracks and alot more. We went to the second level of this building/area. It didnt have a roof, and people up there were just chilling smoking something. We went over to see what everyone was smoking, but I dont remember what it was now. My friend Dylan took a hit off of one group. I didnt because I had stopped smoking for a while(I dont care for it anymore). After that I went by myself downstairs to that bank. I went over and asked one of the ladies working there something, but I cant recall what I asked. The lady answered it though and told me to wait here while she reimbursed me. I walked around the bank and the lady came back. She couldnt see me so I quickly walked into the bank again where she noticed me and gave me 20 $. Since this was a reimbursement I realized I was only getting money back that I had paid the bank before. So I was thrilled for the money. I left the bank and wandered around some more. I came to some biker and we chilled and I got a free ride around the corner. Then I came across Lisbeth and Gabby again. I walked over to them and asked, "Hey do you guys mind if I come with you to that Church event thing?" They both laughed a little and said "sure". I was glad now that I got to chill with my crush, but I still had yet to get her number.

2. I was in my room inside of my house. I had just walked into my room and I entered to find Bob Marley just chilling on my bed with ALOT of weed. I was surprised. I said, "My god are you Bob Marley." He replied with a yes a we chilled. I turned on my xbox and we played it a bit. Some other guy joined us in the room and chilled. We all chilled for a while. I remember my sister coming into my room and taking my sub-woofer. Once I realized this, I went into her room and took it back and said, "Since you took it without asking, you cant borrow it." I went back into my room and the guys were still chilling, except for one thing, Bob Marley was now mexican and no longer black and he gained some weight. I realized that half of the weed that was on my bed was gone, and it was scattered all over my sheets. I decided it was time to clean it up and put it away for now so my parents wouldnt walk it and see it. I started grabbing the weed and I even stuffed some in my mouth(I know, nasty, but I was in a hurry. I put some in a white funnel for some reason and carried it over to my drawer. While doing so, a nat got in the funnel and I blew it out. I put the weed in my drawer and spit the weed in my mouth out as well. My bed was still very messy with thc crystals everywhere so I began thinking of how to clean it up without my parents noticing.

3. I was in some house that Ive never been in before. I was in a the shower room with two girls (lucky me) but we only made out, nothing more. But they were naked. Anyways, after that their dog walked into the room and I petted him for a little bit. I walked out of the room and did something else. I dont remember anymore.

Ive also found out that because I remember almost all of my most recent dream, its hard to remember the ones before it. But I will keep getting better.

So... I've been planning on posting new entries to my DJ here on DV, but I'm not quite sure where to start.
My dreams are one hell of a mess at the moment, and they're probably not much fun to read.
It seems like many of them are centered around hurting me one way or another.
Usually this is done through Faye, a recurring DC.
They're not nightmares though. Well, at least most of them aren't.
I usually catch those when they start and become lucid, allowing me either change or stop them.

Here's an example of what I'm talking about:

I'm hanging out with some waking-life friends.
We're at V's place, up in his attic, where he has set up a bar and a large couch to relax.
Overall I'm having a good time, but there's something making me somewhat uncomfortable.
There's a woman with us that I don't think I have seen before.
But everyone is acting as if we've all known each other for years.
In fact, at one point, she is telling a story about her and I getting into trouble
when we were on vacation together.

What? I don't remember this woman, and we were supposedly spending out holidays together?
What is going on?

We have a few drinks, discuss some things that I cannot recall, and end up talking about what everyone
is currently doing in their lives. It's mostly a discussion about what our expectations were a few years back,
about what we would be doing now, and how everything actually turned out.
It's my turn, and I walk about making video games, and that I am not quite certain how I am going to transition
from university life to working. I haven't fully decided exactly what I want to do yet, but I do know
roughly which direction I want to go.

The woman I do not know interrupts me, and starts saying hurtful things.
I don't remember exactly how she said it, but she was basically stating that I will never amount to anything.
I am shocked. I do not understand how one of my friends would ever say anything like that.
I have a good relationship with all of my friends, nobody would ever do this.
But for some reason it really hurts. To the point where I actually consider whether or not I am a failure as a person.

Fortunately, I slowly become aware of what is actually happening.
I am dreaming.
This is a dream.

I attempt to look at the facial expression of everyone, to see if they agreed with what the woman said.
But they are all gone. I find myself alone with this woman now.
She looks pleased with herself. She has accomplished what she wanted.

I try to elevate my level of awareness by thinking about my current situation.
There is some improvement. Enough to realize that the woman is Faye.

"Wipe that grin off your face"

I am pissed.
She keeps doing this lately and I absolutely hate it.
I decide to confront her about it.

"Why do you keep doing this?"
"You are doing this to yourself. Remember, I am a part of yourself"

I remember having confronted her before, and she said the exact same thing.
Why is she my dream guide again? Lately her influence on my dreams has been purely negative...



Here's another example, where she attempts to distract me (from lucidity):

I am walking through the city together with a friend of mine.
She's rushing from shop to shop, looking at all the things.
Despite the situation being so hectic, I become lucid.
I also quickly realize that the woman I'm with is Faye.
I immediately decide that I want to leave. There is nothing of interest in this dream scene.

I concentrate, trying to leave the current scene behind and go to Riven instead.
But Faye interrupts me. She grabs my hand and drags me away.
I tell her to leave me alone, but she won't listen.

I feel anger building up inside of myself.
She's done this a few times now, trying to break my lucidity.
And usually she succeeds...

"You're not going anywhere!"

My muscles tense up from anger.
Suddenly the buildings around me begin to collapse, seemingly as a reacting to tensing up my muscles.
It's an odd feeling.
First there is some guilt from destroying the buildings by accident.
But that quickly disappears once I understand that nobody was in these buildings.
After all this is a dream.

Unfortunately Faye is having none of it.
She takes control of the surrounding DC's and makes them yell at me.

"Why did you do this? Why did you kill those people?"

Things like that.
I eventually loose lucidity...


These dreams are quite frustrating.
But I think that I can fix this mess if I manage to reach a high level of lucidity.
By that I mean, if manage to think clearly within a lucid dream, and be aware of this goal,
which is difficult with this level of interference and distraction.
Still, I'm confident that I'll manage to fix it... hopefully soon.

7/18/14

Long day at the zoo. Didn't get much sleep the night before. Took a nap at ~7pm then woke up at 10pm. Went to bed for a little bit at 12am and just rested, but got up at around 12:30am to write a blog entry. Then went back to bed ~2am and woke up at 5:45am. DILD triggered.

5:45am DILD

Went to Japan. Became lucid when I saw a friend from school there and realized she's the one that's supposed to be in Japan. I let my husband lead me around. There were a lot of foreigners visiting Japan, one took a video of me walking around. I was confident as he took the video and didn't look at the camera. I recalled the research I read about there being more males in lucid dreams than females so I decided to say hi to a female passing by. I don't remember her response but it was friendly.

We finally came to these train tracks to go to Fukushima. I remembered my task and the advice given to me. I got in a train, which was too small for me, but went in anyways. Then I closed my eyes and called out for my mother-in-law and tried to imagine her house and being in it. But she didn't come.

I remember thinking I need to write this down in my DJ. I might've had a short FA in between. Then I went into a non-lucid dream of being in my mother-in-law's house. I was in Japan indefinitely, meaning the end of my stay was undetermined but it would be long. So I wasn't worried about having to go out shopping anytime soon. My husband woke me up because my alarm went off and I considered sleeping in until 6am. But then I realized I just had a DILD in Japan, so I got up, excited to record it.

Much of this dream consisted of my dead cat Merlin returning from the dead and me and my family feeding and petting him. A part of me realized it was odd seeing him again, but it wasn't enough to make me lucid.

My other cats acted more or less as they do in real life, though they seemed more civilized towards Merlin than they ever were in real life.

Midway through the dream, Merlin was duplicated, but there wasn't much change in petting and feeding them.

I had two dreams last night, I tried a FILD and a DEILD the first time I woke up, but it didn't work

First dream, I was in some sort of city and shopped with one of my school friends. I was soon in some sort of gift shops where they sold expired credit cards and one of my other friends was there and thought it was the coolest thing to buy expired credit cards that were years old, wrecked and pretty much useless. Then I was in some sort of plant shop and I don't know what happened.

Woke up, went back to bed


The second dream I was shopping at something like EB Games or JB-HI-FI and I had soon discovered that Nintendo was going out of business, all because of one game that entirety of the world didn't like. People were also migrating to higher tech consoles (that don't even exist yet). Next I was walking through a shopping centre and bumped into Fred and George Weasley (they've been in a lot of my dreams recently, they might be a new dreamsign). Then I woke up soon after that.

I woke up suspicious that this one was only a dream of a lucid dream, as my lucidity was very low level. But I did try to stabilize and I remembered my dream goals, so I'm going to count it.

I'm going down a dark stairway when I realize I'm dreaming. I immediately try to assess if it feels like reality or if it's just like watching a movie, and for a second it seems real, but then I think I notice a loss of stability. I examine my hands briefly. Again, they're all messed up.

I remember that stabilization technique didn't work for me last time and try to rub my hands over my forearms, really focusing on the tactile sensations. Unfortunately, the dream isn't really stabilizing (probably because I'm convinced it won't).

I decide to attempt my lucid goal in the hopes that that will stabilize things: tracking down a krispy kreme cheeseburger. I turn around "expecting" (but not really) that it will be behind me. Of course it's not. I then "expect" it will be behind the door at the top of the stairs. All of this is done with a fair amount of desperation, and soon the dream fades.

At this point I try spinning. Slow spinning doesn't work, so I try spinning faster. I think I see glimpses of a room but at this point my memory gives out.

Anyone have any advice on stabilization? I'm guessing it's all just emotional control at this point, but it's so hard to remember in the moment...

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid