Recent DJ Posts

August 2, 2014

Rating: 3/5

More fragments. I remember being at my college during construction and almost getting into a fight with some kid near a main building. I decided to tell him it easnt worth it and eventually we made it past it and became friends. He brought me over to his music shop and we walked down the main hall to the end of the building. This part of the building had cheap white tiles and white walls with old sound equipment everywhere. We were at the back of the store when he opened up a metal plate on the wall that opened a secret door. We were now in a bigger space behind the shop. There was small rooftops of buildings we stood on so there must have been some underground houses. I searched with my flashlight and eventually went up into a finished room with dark wood walls and brown carpet. I looked across into another room where a mickey doll that was propped up suddenly fell over, by a ghost. Though i couldnt see it.

I also renember wading through waist deep water in a flooded city and came upon a spot to put down my phone on a shelf where a bunch of empty beer bottles were. before i could do much i was woken.

Fragment:

Something about roofing material, they had some imperfections. At R & K's house?

Fragment:

Redecorating a house, but it's not mine. It belongs to a Swedish couple. I'm house sitting while they are away. Something about turning the lights off or leaving them on.

Dream:

My boss is sitting at his desk. He's got a tie on, but he's tied in some silk paper into the tie knot. I laugh and try to pull it out. He tries to explaining he's been seeing a lot of people do this (get silk paper stuck in their tie). Somehow a video of a couple of musicians is supposed to explain this. The musicians are young, the video is made a long time ago. They are supposed to be well known, but I only vaguely recognize them. It's a man and a woman. Then he shows me a new video of them, this time they are older (about 50-60 yrs?). They are performing on a stage in both of the videos. I remember thinking how much they've changed. They used to be young and beautiful, now they just look old and tired.

Dream:

I'm in a house. It's my house (but it's nothing like my house for real). I'm in the living room with my two dogs, and a small gorilla. The gorilla apparently is my pet. I call it and it comes jumping towards me on its hands and feet. I ask it if it is hungry by petting its belly and asking 'are you hungry?'. It enthusiastically shows me it indeed is hungry, and after doing a trick I say 'Go!' and we go to get it some food. When I get to the cabinet where I keep the pet food I see my dog M. I find a bowl and fill it with kibble and treats. She's been eating very little lately, and to my delight I see her taking big mouthfuls. After a while she stops, and just sniffs the treats, but won't eat any more. My dog H. is there too, and I trow her some kibble which she grabs 'in air'.

I dreamed that I lucid dreamed. I dreamed I was in a half awake sort of state, lying on my bed in the late afternoon, and I thought to myself, "I'm dreaming". Suddenly, my head dropped down onto my pillow, this tingling sensation fell over me, and my vision went black. It felt so strange and interesting. I rubbed my hands together to try and stabilize myself. Then I tried summoning a friend of mine, but it didn't seem to work because I couldn't see a thing. All I had was the sensation.

Then I dreamed I woke up and told someone about it, and they said I needed to summon an incubus.

P.S. Does anyone have any ideas on whether this was a real lucid dream or not?

Dream 1

I am in my dads car and he's driving us home, in the car is my brother and sister as well. My dad asked us if its alright to smoke. In real life he does not smoke so this was a surprise to me in the dream. I figured he was having a tough time in life and said it was ok only if it doesn't become a habit. We are driving down a road relatively close to my house. Just as we are about to turn the corner a bus in front of us is swaying side to side. We thought the bus driver was bored and was just messing about. Then the bus skidded and a wheel fell off and it crashed. I get out the car then and my dad drives back home. I went to go over to the bus to check everything was ok. Thats when I seen people from work. I had some rubbish in my hand so I put that in the bin, then I get on the bus and the timetable on the bus reads 'Waiting'. I see a guy from school and he is with a girl. He is moaning at the front of the bus because its broke down.

Ritual: wtb around 12:30am. Had to get up at 8am so no time for serious WBTB, but I had been reading about FILD and how it relies on short WBTBs that allow one to go back to sleep quickly, so thought this would be a good opportunity to try it out. I was waking up naturally every couple of hours and each time did FILD as I went back to sleep, but no results. If I was having NLDs, I didn't take notes and don't remember them now.

My fourth waking occurred at 6:50am. I did FILD again. This time, as I was nearing sleep I saw a tiny white light, rayed like a star and unusually bright, appear in the darkness behind my eyelids and seem to come closer. This reminded me: wasn't I supposed to be paying attention to hypnogogic imagery? Actually I don't think that is a part of the FILD technique but in my half-asleep recollection I was convinced it was, so I focused on that white star, and for whatever reason I felt like it was actually effective in helping me transition.

I had not been doing the "nosepinch" RC during my FILD attempts, as the tutorial recommends, because it struck me as potentially counter-productive to make such a large motion—if the body is not already in SP then one would end up moving one's physical arm and disrupting the transition. Plus, I figured, if I still had the presence of mind to remember to RC in the first place, then I could probably figure it out in some other way.

As I was trying to come up with alternate RCs that didn't involve physical movement, at one point it occurred to me, "Hey, if I'm lying here with my eyes closed, how come I can see my bedside table?" What a giveaway! So then I realized I must have transitioned without even knowing it, and got out of bed.

WILD: The first thing I did was go look out the sliding door in the bedroom. In RL it leads to the back patio, but in the dream, it opened onto a wide grassy lawn that extended a great distance. The air felt very real and fresh as it came through the door. I remembered my tasks, but after botching them last time because I rushed out of the house before the dream had stabilized, I didn't want a repeat of that failure. I realized I'd better take some time first and let the dreamstate develop a bit more strength. It felt unusually "thin," even for an early-stage WILD.

As I walked down the hall, I noticed three coins lying on the floor just inside the door to the library. This pleased me immensely, because I recognized it at once as waking life residue, the consequence of a conversation yesterday, and I was glad the dream was showing a bit of initiative. I picked up the coins and then wondered where to put them when I discovered that was wearing a skirt that had no pockets. "Don't be silly," I reminded myself, observing that this shouldn't be an obstacle in the dreamstate. So without looking, I slipped my hand down until I could feel the edge of the pocket that manifested on the skirt just where I "expected" it to be, and slipped the coins inside.

Shortly after this the dream was disrupted by a half-waking, but I was able to re-transition. I got out of bed again and realized I'd better work more deliberately on stabilization, running through each of my senses in turn to better engage them. Touch always seems the most foundational, so I rubbed my hands together and over various differently-textured surfaces in the room: the fluffiness of a sheepskin, the scratchiness of the wool rug, the smoothness of the wall. My sense of touch tends to be robust even in the most poorly-integrated dreams, so the results were satisfactory. What next? I thought of sight and sound, but immediately hesitated. The dream felt so thin and fragile that I felt convinced engaging sight and sound would expose me to RL stimuli and risk waking me. I thought it might be better to do taste and smell first to try to get a little more traction. As I walked toward the kitchen I saw a potted basil plant (much like the one I had bought yesterday from Trader Joe's) sitting in the door of the hallway bathroom. "That'll do for taste," I thought, plucking a leaf and putting in my mouth. It tasted very much like real basil, spicy and herbaceous, but somehow not entirely pleasant on its own. The leaf was unusually large and now it was filling my mouth in an unpleasant limp wad, so rather than chew and swallow, I took out what was left of it and put it on the counter. Surely there must be something else to eat? Ice cream maybe? I looked in the freezer, but remembered that I had finished the chocolate ice cream last night. I considered manifesting some more, but didn't get around to it. This might have been around the time the second half-waking occurred, and I had to re-transition.

It's not unusual that I have to chain a few WILDs like this before the dreamstate stabilizes, but this time it only seemed to be getting weaker rather than more robust, despite my deliberate attempts to gain traction. I guess my REM state wasn't very strong or I was already too wakeful. At one point I had opened the screen door by my work area and was standing with one foot inside the room, one foot outside on the patio, looking down the side of the house and thinking how unusually lifelike it looked, rather than showing the typical degree of dream-like distortions. And not long after that I woke up for the third time, too fully awake to retransition. I checked my clock and it was 7:35am.

It was a rather unsatisfying WILD in that the dream started out thin and only got thinner as time went on... there was one rough patch in the third part where I felt like I was holding it together through imagination alone before my senses re-engaged. By the very end, after it became apparent that I wasn't going to be able to accomplish anything worthwhile, I think I just gave up and was indulging in libidinous pleasure—through thought alone, as it seemed too much trouble at that point to try to create a scenario.

I'll have to keep trying with FILD to see if I can get better results. On the upside, it has the advantage that it can be practiced during very brief WBTBs, so it can be used at times when other techniques that require more mental focus would be unsuitable.

1. I was on a trail at night. It was really dark, but I could still see everything clearly. I was with my friend's sister Emily, and we were both walking on the trail. As we were walking I looked back and saw a dark figure running in our direction. Immediately I started running. I cut through parts of the trail and jumped across mini islands of grass. Between these small islands(like the ones on freeways) there was water.
As I was running I grabbed my car keys out of my pocket and pressed a button that was supposed to bring my car to me somehow. My car never came, so I continued running and so did emily. I looked back again a few seconds later and saw that the tall dark figure was getting closer to us, and was catching up. I didnt give up though, I kept on running. Soon I made it to an opening in the trail that was right beside the road. I stopped and waited for Emily to catch up. She finally caught up to me and we both waited. I knew we couldnt run faster than this guy chasing us, so I was going to fight him.
Surprisingly, instead of that tall dark figure dude catching up to us, we encountered two hostile dogs. Whoever was chasing after us had disappeared. Now I had to face two dogs and try to survive. All I had to defend myself was a sharp blade of some sort, and it was relatively small. Just then the smaller dog of the two came up to me, but before it could do anything harmful I stabbed it in its side. It fell dead. The other dog of the two; the bigger one, just looked at the dead dog and walked away, he didnt try to kill us. Somehow, in my mind, I got this notion that the dog that I killed wanted to die, like a moment of some type of clarity or something.

2. I was driving with my dad near a forest. We were on the freeway before and had just turned into an empty lot. There were lots of leaves on the edges of it in general. As my dad drove through the lot, I focused on the grass around us. It depressed me(I never get depressed so this is random). I thought of how someday my dad would eventually die and I would have to face this world on my own. It scared me. All these depressing things I kept looking at, and it was only just grass and leaves. I thought of how one day I would have to face these depressing things on my own, by myself. It then occurred to me: I can overcome anything, and I will succeed no matter what. This is the part of me that showed in my dream from real life. A positive mind gives you a positive life.

3. I was in some sort of building and alot of my friends were inside with me. I was just chilling and about to go talk to one of my friends when all of a sudden, I saw a group of my other friends come inside with a girl. They dragged her into a corner and raped her. I saw it all before my eyes. These were all of my old friends from school(not my really close ones though). I couldnt stop what was happening, and I couldnt believe it. I remember trying to, and telling them to not do it, but when I did they tried grabbing me. I defended myself and was about to beat the sh*t out of whoever else laid their hands on me, but they all backed off and returned to the girl. The girl died after she was raped. I knew then, these were not my friends, these were hostile savages.

4. I was outside of a portable next to school. A lady was at the portable door begging for help. I could see that she was drunk, and even as she was begging for help she continued drinking. As she continued crying and begging for help, eventually a priest and another lady of the church came out and did something to her to help her.

5. I was inside of a really nice building, and it had marble flooring and a really decorative interior design. I went to this office area and got on a computer. My mom was with me and followed me too. I got on the computer an immediately as I turned it on, a naked model appeared on the screen and started doing some kind of sensual dance. It didnt seduce me because the model looked like a drag queen. My mom was next to me and saw what was going on and got a little upset and told me to exit off of this webpage "immediately". I clicked the X on the top right corner of the screen to get away from whatever this was, but even as I did, it didnt work. The drag queen model stayed on the screen and continued dancing. I thought it was some kind of virus and there was nothing we could do to stop it.
My mom wasn't liking this too much, but neither was I. As the model continued dancing a woman's voice started speaking out of the computer. Somehow when this woman started talking, I immediately knew who she was and what she looked like. As she was talking, I heard a lot of rolling sounds coming from inside of the desk which the computer was on. I looked down too see what it was, but I couldnt see anything, it was all inside of the desk itself. Just then, the lady talking through the computer told me that there was 100,000 marbles rolling out from inside the desk, and that I would have to wait forever for them all to come out. At this point, marbles started coming out and I contained them within a certain area. My mom had disappeared, and I decided to just leave the computer desk and walk away. As I did I ran into my sister. She was wearing a Halloween costume of the Flash. I told her, "great now you're wearing a costume too." I turned to my side and saw my cousin in a halloween costume as well.

6.I was in my room, and it was dark. I was sitting on my bed on my laptop. I decided to get off of it, and unplug it(because it was charging). When I unplugged it, I went around my bed and put the charger itself into the bottom part of my drawer. After I did this I turned around and noticed that my vision was fading. I was nearly blind. I remembered, "My vision isn't this bad when my glasses are off." As I said that and focused on my room while I looked around, my vision got better and corrected itself. I then went to my closet doors, and two of them were already open. I went to go close my 3rd closet door and did so. After that I went to go close my 2nd closet door, but I noticed it had already closed itself. My immediate conclusion was that a poltergeist was in my room. I become scared. I walked past my 1st closet door(I know, its alot of closet doors) and stood near the side of my bed. A tall wooden shelf, which was painted black was standing between my 1st and 2nd closet door. I looked at it and it started sliding towards me, and as It did I backed up, but it fell forward anyways. I fell to the ground and caught the top of the shelf with my feet, and it didnt hurt me. At this point, things calmed down. I laid on the ground for a while longer. Somewhere in here I picked up a REALLY small replica of a Supra TK Society shoe. It was black and really small and had red accents on it. It had a strap on the side of it that could be undone to take apart the shoe. This was alot different from the original Supra TK Society. The shoe was small enough to fit inside of my hands with room to spare. I put down the shoe eventually and looked up to see my sister standing in front of me, with a platform in front of her, and 6 packs of gum on top of it. She was mixing flavors of the pieces of gum to get a certain flavor. The packs of gum were either pink, blue, green, or yellow in color(Might have missed another color). She would take one piece from two packs of gum and chew them both at the same time to get the exact flavor that she wanted.

7. I was in my room again and looked at myself in the mirror. As I did I noticed that my beard had grown a good 2 inches from the night before. I also noticed that I had a random patch of facial hair to the right of my right cheek. This hair was brown, when really all of my facial hair is black. I then pondered on whether or not I wanted to shave it.

8. I was downstairs in the living room with my dad. It was really dark, and it was also dark outside. The only real light in the room was coming from the 70 inch T.V. I was wearing a batman halloween suit with the cape and everything, but the cape was a little shorter than I liked. As I was standing next to the T.V I saw my shadow projected onto the wall next to it. I started doing really cool fighting moves, and poses. However, when I did I noticed that my shadow didn't follow my movements. It stayed the same, still and motionless. I told my dad and he didn't really seem to care and started pushing me in a joking mood.

...

3:31 am

I was with R. It was a sleepover of sort. He was saying something about trust. It was dark. Like a brownout. The room looks familiar. Our living room in our hometown. I looked outside through our glass window. I was looking to the front area of the house. Some people are there, coming in. I had the feeling they also live here, like it's a dorm. It looks like it's raining outside. One man saw me and waved (said "Hi."). I waved (said "Hi.") back. There was also a young man. He's semi-naked. They passed by close to the window to get into the house.

I was talking with Re and some others about chakras, and how some people went to the extreme and actually had operations inside their bodies to connect (or remove?) certain organs, which is supposed to help somehow. I thought that was ridiculous. While I was "hearing" (and watching) that, I was looking down at my body (torso down) speckled with golds at certain areas in patterns that supposedly corresponds with chakras (or FMA style, I couldn't really see). The idea was to melt them and reform, which will then somehow represent my chakras instead of taking something physical from inside my body. The guy who had operations was said to be having trouble breathing now as a result of his operations.

I was looking at the MRT station.

I was in the forest with some people. I somehow found some water up in the mountain and thought of bringing it down to the people to sell. But then, I thought that some people might go up there and do the same. Nobody's stopping them. Then I thought that I'm getting it from a special source, protected by the deity Cernunnos. Somehow, I have a piece of horn from him, which protects me from the creatures guarding the lake/water area. I had another guy with me to help me with the horn and gathering water. My process was to drop a wide cloth and then catch the water like fish (it's like a net), and bring it up. It somehow works, and there were big areas of water sticking to the cloth.

After a while, the water started to run out, but I already expected that, so I was already planning of doing other things to earn. I was looking at the creatures at the bottom of the quickly drying lake/marsh.

I was in a different country. Not sure if it was India or somewhere in the Middle East (I have never traveled outside of my country, and I only see other countries via movies). There's a guy running, escaping. He touched (literally just touched the skin, nothing blatantly sexual in the dream images) a female child, which is forbidden in that country, and he had another guy chasing after him. In another part/area, he did the same, but the persons who were there were Western born, who don't follow the same culture.

NOTES:

- Slept around 2 am
- Drank coffee (Cafe Blanca)
- Was reading chapter 2 of Social Psychology (D. Myers)
- Watched Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
- Did the 26-minute meditation (Sam Harris)
- Set alarm to 4.5 hours (woke up in 1.5 hours)
- I received a message before sleeping that parkour training in the morning canceled due to storm

Journal Entry Lucid #66-67 Dream,Lucid, thoughts in dream,(Comments)
Background: I Meditated before going to sleep. WBTB. This is the first time I have ever killed a DC, while lucid, and it was brutal.

Lucid Dream # 66, day: 07/29/14, time: 3:30-unknown " The house in middle of nowhere":
The dream started with an investigator that looked like
He started a charity even in the lady's death. He bought all her stuff, before she died. People cheered him because they thought he was noble man. A screen pops-up and it asks to add a new character the girl that died. He looked dismayed by it. He didn't want her to come back to life. He killed her. The game say's new character added. She is transported to a new house. She is wearing 1600 cloth, the corset. I became her. I am using telekinesis to lift the couch and I see a glowing green thing around the object. I started to pay attention to it. It looks like an aura. The object started to move on its own. I see these twin sisters, old I mean really old. I became lucid without any cause.


They tell me to a have a good day, as they smiled and walked away. I looked for a door and left. I see a front porch and the house looks old too. It had wood coming off of it. It had an old wild wild west feel to it. I wanted to go some where but I see only the house and grass that surrounds it. Everywhere I looked was white space literally just empty white space as if the dream hasn't finished forming. Maybe the dream doesn't want me to go somewhere else.I looked back at the house and I see an elevator man, he had the hat and everything to the red top. He shook his head with disapproval. I felt the sensation that I am about to wake up. I went to the floor to interact with the dream. I started to touch the grass and the dirt. I woke up though.

I woke up to write down my lucid and then after some time I went back to sleep.

Lucid Dream # 67, day: 07/29/14, time: unknown-5:02am " First Blood":
I wake up in my room and I see that SN and his brother, YA were in my room playing on the ps3. It was night time so I didn't expect them to be over at my house. They left to get some food or something. I wanted to go back to sleep so I turned off the light. The light switch controlled controlled the ps3. That's strange. I plug the tv and the ps3 back on. I am suspicious now. My father brings another person and tells us to get along. The kid started to threaten us and he wants to play the next game because he is tall. I am angry now. I could beat him up. He couldn't do what he said. The guy from Doctor Who season 2-3 was in my dream. he summoned us all at once. We are in a room. He tells us that everybody has to obey their goddess and this creature with a head on her chest about 2 ft in diameter. She also has a big head where her head should be. She also had an uncanny smile. The color of her skin is green. And that ugly thing had the nerves to put on red lipstick, absolutely disgusting. I see her talking to her granddaughter. She tells her that she could do anything she wants and told her to fly. I see them fly. I then see the Doctor kiss goddess of his. It was repulsive. I asked them to stop kissing.


I realized it was a dream and I am back at what looks like my house, but bigger. I see all these people worshiping one of the goddess' minions. She was told that she could have power over these group of people. I told them to stop worshiping her. They were too scared at first. I started to fly and they trusted me. They got up and came towards me. She started to yell at me. I use TK to lift her up and push her against the wall. I see one kid from church, the one that practices LD was there, he was also using TK. I told him to stop assisting me. He stopped. I tried again and further inspection led me to see that she was just on her tip toe. I was upset that I didn't have control over my power. I strained myself hard and I managed to get her up on the wall. I then lost control again.

I wanted to create water out of my hands. I put my hand out and imagined sweat come out. At first it was just normal amount of sweat and then it started to rush, more and more. It was up to my ankle. The DC were all scared. I told them that I am going to kill them. They became terrified. I told them I am joking around. All the water vanished just like that. I wanted to try and do TK again since it is all that I love. I then tried to lift a table. I put my hand out as a gesture and it started to levitate. I then realized that lifting my hand was just a guidance for my will. It started moving up even though I didn't move my hand. I started experimenting with it, bringing it closer and further.

"HOW DID HE GET THOSE POWERS", screamed a man. He continued, "HOW DO WE KNOW WE COULD TRUST HIM?" He turns to me and demanded, "HOW?" He said with a whimper , "my grandmother told me 'avoid the things you don't know' " . Look at him still wearing orange. He is still a slave. Even though I freed him from the cult, I didn't free him from his mind. I mockingly said, " Your grandma is not a very smart lady". I laughed at the Forest Gump reference, no one else did. We then went to tables. They were filling me in on what is going on. They told me that we are underground tunnel. I started dazing off trying to understand will power. I started to use TK to lift chairs around. I grabbed a ring about 10 inches in diameter. I threw it and I willed it or used TK, but I didn't use hand gesture. For the first time I understood that it was not TK but will. I would throw it and in mid flight I bring it back like a boomerang. I didn't quite master it. A man came in. He sat next to me and he had a metal neck brace that signifies that he once was a slave. It had cool designs. He had all these tattoos. One of a tear drop on his face. He didn't look at me at all. He just sat there. I look down at the table and see this 3 x 4 ash tray except it melts metal. It is red hot. I tried to do the TK thing. I kept dropping it and nearly hitting people. One time it fell and hit a chair and shattered it. I then accidentally dropped it on the guy's foot.

He got mad at me and he grabbed me by the neck. He looked at everyone they looked scared. He said, "I don't care what they think you are but I don't care". He started to put a stronger grip on me. I tried to use TK on him but it wouldn't work. I then looked at the metal burner on the table. If only I could reach it. I stretched my arm. It started to move towards me. I thought, Maybe I have magneto's power control metal.I couldn't reach the man's throat but I now can use magnetism. I put my hand towards his throat and I start clinching my hands into a fist slowly. He grabs his neck. I then without hesitation put my hand in a fist and the metal around his neck just got so small that it was a decapitation. He died instantly. His head didn't fall though. This was the first time I killed. I don't care far too long have I let my DC kick me around. I see a hand on my right hand. It was frozen shut. I said jokingly, "how can I remove this hand?" I looked around everybody looked at me with fear. I said, "It is just human hand". I broke it off like it was just frozen meet. It was easier to break. I threw it into the metal burner. I saw his hand burn away. It happened instantaneously, I saw the skin burn right away and then the flesh with the bone.

Everyone is rushing towards the exit of the tunnel. I wanted to leave. As we were leaving I see that the girl that was cloned by the game was what they used to make the tunnel. They were cloning her and grinding her body into mush.
I do not get the ending.

Hello! Wow, it has been a long time. I will continue to update this journal because I type a lot faster than I write, and I have lost many of my dreams due to laziness of not wanting to write them out.
Well, in the past year, I have had a few crazy dream and psychic experiences! I mean, absolutely uncanny stuff!!! I will update with a few posts updating them and explaining them.

In the past year, a lot has happened to me. My worldview has completely changed due to my insistence on trying to develop my psychic abilities, and dreaming recall and abilities. I am a completely different person now. I have actually met someone from my dreams that I had been dreaming about for about two years beforehand, involving a spiritual connection I would assume. I know it sounds hard to believe, but I didn't believe it til it happened! More on this later. It is amazing how our world truly is when you peel away your biases and just let things happen to you- and believe them when they do. ^_^

I'm at university attending a lecture about the basics of OpenGL.
The teacher doesn't really seem into it, and none of my classmates seem interested.
To be honest, neither am I, but for a different reason.
The other students are not interested in graphics programming,
whereas I'm already quite comfortable with both Direct3D and OpenGL.
Why am I attending this class again? Perhaps for some easy credit points?
That doesn't sound like me though.

Once class is over, I hear some people discussing that they wouldn't come back
and choose another course instead. If that many people leave, this course is
going to be cancelled, and I'll have to find another one as well.
I'm mildly annoyed.

Eventually, as the lecture comes to an end, I suddenly realize that I am dreaming.
I'm not sure what gave it away.
I touch everything in close vicinity to assert that the dream is stable.
There is some initial numbness, but eventually my senses appear to be working properly.
I leave the classroom, trying to remember my dream goals...
It's not working, I can't remember anything.

I'll go visit Yuya. It has been a long time since I've seen her because Faye is messing with my dreams.
But then, just as I want to teleport to Riven, I spot a familiar face.

It's Kate! What is going on? Why is she here?
(Not a real image of Kate. Kate is an ex-gf from waking life)

She smiles. And that is all it takes to stir up old emotions, which I left behind long ago.
I'm in love again. Great... I had enough trouble getting over her as it is.
Why does it all have to come back to me now?
I reluctantly decide to ignore her and visit Yuya, as I had planned,
but something goes wrong during my attempt of teleportation...



... I'm in an apartment with Kate. I think that she is my classmate now, and that we're living together.
This is our apartment. Everything is perfect.
I am living with the woman of my dreams, we're both about to graduate,
and we have our future planned out.
It is late in the evening and I go to the bathroom to take a shower.
The water temperature knob isn't cooperating.
I seem to be dealing with something like this:


Kate joins me in the shower and she has no trouble adjusting the temperature properly.
The water is now refreshingly cold, just the way I like it.
Kate moves closer and kisses me passionately. I love her so much.
And she is so beautiful. I stare into her green eyes as we kiss...
Wait... this is not right. Those are clearly Kate's eyes, but... they feel... empty?
Oh no...
Why?
I am emotionally devastated...

This isn't Kate. This is Faye.
It feels as though I've lost Kate again. I am so sad.


Faye is now holding a rose and handing it to me.
I get the feeling that she is trying to apologize?
That does make feel a little better. Will I finally be able to reason with Faye?
I take the rose. I cut one of my fingers on a thorn. Ouch!
A single drop of blood emerges and falls to the ground.

Something is wrong...
I sense something moving through the small cut, into my hand, and then up my arm.
I get vivid flashbacks of the bee birthing blisters. Not again!
I drop the rose. But I'm too late.
Stems covered in thorns grow through my veins and sprout out of my body in various places, causing me to bleed.
More and more blood flows down into the shower. The water slowly turns red.

"Faye. Please make it stop!"
"No."
"..."
"Please! I'm sure whatever the problem is, I can fix it."
"There is no need for this!"
"I don't want the problem to be fixed."

What? Why? I don't understand.
I just barely manage not to freak out. The parasitic plant hardens in my veins making me unable to move.
The pain increases as the plant grows bigger.
Fuck fuck fuck.

"Faye! Talk to me! What is the problem?"

She doesn't reply. She just smiles, satisfied with the current situation.
I can't take it any more. I need to wake up!
I close my eyes, trying to think of my waking body lying in bed.
But I don't wake up...
Instead I begin to see, even though my eyes are closed.

She laughs at me and my inability to do anything.
Then she moves in and kisses me on the lips.
No. I don't want this.
My fear turns into anger.
I scream at the top of my lungs, wanting to push Faye away from me.
The hardened plant finally gives in under the force and breaks in many places within my body.
I push against Faye hard with both of my hands.
She is pushed through the glass shower door, which shatters into pieces.

She is cut in many places by the broken glass. She is bleeding and her blood mixes with mine on the floor.
This is so fucked up. She still looks like Kate. This is not right. I don't want to hurt her.
She again laughs at the current situation. She clearly feels like she has accomplished something.
She is satisfied. Finally, she gets up and leaves the room and I manage to wake myself up.

Well fuck. -_-
This is enough. This needs to change. Now.
I'm going to WBTB, probably do some meditation to focus my thoughts, WILD and tackle the problem with a hopefully clear head.

To mention something a little more positive, I have updated my Dream Journal Description.
I've also found this really cool painting by Sakimichan, which made me think of Yuya:

She obviously doesn't have the long pointy ears, but I thought that this painting just radiates so much energy, just as Yuya does.
There's also been a strong blue/orange theme in my dreams lately. I thought this was a pretty cool find.

Non-Dream
Dream
Lucid

Lucid #4 (DILD, FA #3)
I wake up and plug my nose. I can breathe! I go outside, put my hand behind my back and call for a dream guide. I feel a hand and turn around. It's a short old man with glasses. We shake hands and I ask his name. His name is Sydney. I tell him I want him to teach me to transform. "You're not good enough for that!" he says. I reason with him, telling him maybe he could transform me into a different animal. He admits that he's able to but he's unsure about it. I wake up.

No hypnosis - husband persuaded me again to watch two episodes and so on, until I was really too exhausted, very late in bed - 2:30 am to be precise. No WBTB - buut - a short lucid episode with doing nothing whatsoever... Damn.

LD #1: At the very end of dream #2, I gain the insight, that I am dreaming, look around, do a nose-pinch - and wake up, without the trace of a thought about DEILDing back in. This night will be dedicated to the comp, not to what my husband wants in the middle of the night!!

Dream #1: In a deserted former shopping-mall - half in ruins, with some male friends and they chance upon an electrics/electronics shop with loads of to me unidentifiable hard-drive like stuff and plates, these green ones with stuff soldered on and connectors and all sorts of things. Just lying on the floor, huge chaos, the whole place. They are very happy and collect their spoils in bags. We go further, and there's light in one empty compartment, and smoky glass doors opening and closing on their own, which irritates us a bit. In the end - exploring a commercial ruin - no dresses this time. Again I wouldn't remember this now, if I hadn't dictated a little bit about it upon waking for the first time.

Dream #2: Again on my way to this place with lake. But it's different - this time for example I discuss with somebody, how one could build a ship, which can also operate on the ice and take the waterway. And the nature and general optics are not as sweet as last time. I visit a little hut, squatted by a friend of mine - well lets say a former crush of mine and some friendly up to erotic activities ensue, not full out, though. I then go visit my husband and three more guys staying with him together with this ex-crush - and not that this happens irl or often in my dreams - it ends up in the beginnings of an orgy - and I get lucid, see above, but wake up.

Fragment #1: Coming out of a changing room, where I put on work-clothes - at least so I thought, but I find myself without a shirt or anything above waistline in terms of clothes when in the hallway - this could have so easily tipped me off, but didn't. I just swooped back in to try again..

Fragment #2: I see an ex-boyfriend of mine sitting in a room and looking at a broken part of a big kaleidoscope, I had given him for present a long time ago, he seems sad.

Dream - Lucid

I was at work. I was putting together these big boxes with four big pastries each in them. The boxes were on the racks we use to bake. I was choosing random pastries for the boxes. I seem to remember a small chocolate cake being one I was using. I was calling the boxes "surprise boxes", since the customers would get random pastries.

~

My old (crazy) roommate, Katie, had purposely framed one of the cake decorators at work, who, in the dream, was the drummer's wife in my husband's band. She hid pieces of weed in between random packages on the sales floor, and she had told me that she had done all this like it was no big deal. She told me how she avoided the cameras very cleverly while doing so, making it look like nothing was going on. I "remembered" I hadn't seen the drummer's wife at work in awhile; now it made sense as to why.

I was then at work, but it was nighttime. I was supposed to be working an overnight shift, but it was some kind of drill. Many others were there with me. We filed into a room, like a tornado safe room, and I thought we were supposed to duck, but I don't know if anyone did. I was sitting on the floor, saying to myself that I knew who had really hid that weed, but I didn't know if I should say anything or not. A guy was then next to me, and I told him that I knew who did it. He said I should definitely tell someone.

We were then dismissed early, around 2am, even though we were supposed to be pulling an overnighter. I went home, and my husband was on the couch, watching a movie on TV. The movie was actually depicting the same type of situation, with someone being framed the same way. It was coming up on the part that someone told on the framer. I sat down with him, and started to talk to him about the situation with the crazy old roommate. He then straddled me and started doing small pelvic thrusts, just to be his silly self. The old crazy roommate then walked in from another room in the apartment. Um...what? Why is she here? She then sat down on a chair and started to talk to us. Dallas then turned the TV around to where I thought she couldn't see it, but the TV was a cube-shape, and had 4 screen on it, so she could see the big screen, and we were treated to a smaller screen. I knew that if she saw the rest of the movie, she'd know I was going to tell. I then fell asleep.

When I woke, I was on the couch still, but the crazy old roommate was gone. I thought for sure she had left, but I then heard her voice from the other room. She said
"I'm going to have to hear drums when I get home."
I knew she was referring to her drummer boyfriend playing.
I then saw a woman standing on a porch that was right in front of me, even though I was in the living room. She was talking on the phone. I asked her if we had all fallen asleep on the couch with the TV on, and she said we did, though she seemed slightly irritated that I interrupted her phone call.

~

I was in my apartment, and I knew I was dreaming. Not sure what triggered it. I saw my husband in the kitchen, loading dishes in the dish washer. I went to go take his belt and his pants off, but I guess I got too excited, and woke up. I fell back asleep again.

I was in a room somewhere, when I just knew I was dreaming. The dream seemed quite unstable, so I examined my hands. I started trying to call out to my spirit guide, Mike, but my voice wouldn't come out, no matter how hard I tried. I started to run around, trying to say
"Mike? Where are you? Spirit guide? Where are you?" but the words 'Mike' and 'guide' would only come out as rasps. I ran by a mirror on a dresser.

I then woke up, but it was an FA. I then woke up for real, and went right back to sleep and into the same dream, being fully lucid again. I was in the same room again. I decided to make my friend Ashley appear. It got kinda raunchy at this point, so I'll spare you the details. All I'll say is we fooled around with scissors, I think the point being that they would not hurt me in a dream. Throughout the experience, I kept examining my hands, as to not lose the dream again due to excitement. It worked, and I did not lose the dream.

I then saw this vial of dark purple-red liquid. I called it "dream juice". It didn't have much contents left. I looked in the mirror, and started to pour it on myself. I ran out, and made another vial appear in my hand. I thought about how looking in the mirror watching it appear made it easier to make it materialize. I then started to pour some of it in my mouth. White chunky stuff was in my mouth along with the dream juice. It was kinda weird.

Then, I started going throughout other rooms in the area, looking for Mike. Why couldn't I find him? I felt as if this shouldn't have been an issue. I ran into a few DCs, asking if they were Mike, or if they knew who Mike was. They all told me no, until the last one I encountered, who was an older woman. I asked if she knew where Mike was, and she said yes, and pointed to another room.
"Mike?" I called out.
"Yes?" said another voice.
A man then emerged, an older gentleman with grey hair, a small grey beard, and a mustache. He reminded me of a janitor. He had been working on something in that room.
We spoke for a bit, but I don't remember many details, other than he spoke to me about always changing his identity, always being another person. He then said
"Oh, there is an event I need to invite you to. It's taking place the 4th through the 7th."
I then saw something on a piece of paper that said it was to start at 7:08pm.
I never got any more details about this event, because I woke up.

~

I was on DV, and got a notification, a warning that someone had corrected one of my typos. I had spelled "sue" wrong? Proper grammar and spelling was supposedly a big rule. I then thought about other DJ entries from the past that I had been really tired when I was typing them out. I knew they were full of errors, but they never got corrected.

~

I was having to go to work, but it looked like I was just working behind a counter with shelves of bread and baked goods behind me. A woman came up and asked if we had any fresh-baked bread yet that morning, and I looked, and only saw some fudge and some desserts, but no bread. I guess we were behind that morning, so I told her no, we didn't. I then went out from behind the counter, and my manager, Shannon, took over. An older lady who was there with her young granddaughter asked her if she had any "peanut bread" yet. Apparently, this woman would come get this "peanut bread" a lot, and would scam us somehow. Shannon was quite rude back to her, and replied with
"How about no?"
I had NEVER heard her speak to a customer like that! Wow.

My 6-year-old nephew Gary was here at some point, but I can't remember what for. He was asking me questions.

I then was at a computer with Dallas, taking these timed quizzes. They were some sort of graded multiple choice assignment, but for what, I'm not sure. I was at the computer taking them, and I skipped over a the last part of a long section to come back to later. The timer was still running on it though. I went and did the final, three question section, and started trying to answer those questions. The timer on this one was mere seconds, though, and I didn't finish in time, only getting one out of three correct. I then had the option to re-do that section, and the questions were now about some area of Disney and Mickey Mouse. I was asking Dallas if he knew the answers. I had to guess on a lot of it. One of the questions was a three part question. I ran out of time on this one after answering two questions. I got two out of three of them right, and got a little screen that said so, like a congratulatory screen. I then tried to go back to the other section so I could finish, but I couldn't click on it at all. In fact, the only one I could click on was the last section that I had done twice now. I had run out of time on the other section. I then saw bars on the left hand side of the screen indicating how many questions we had gotten right. The bar by the section I had skipped some on was about 75% full. I guess I hadn't done too bad for myself, despite skipping questions.

I then was back in my apartment. I had to go out and meet Dallas's mom at this little building by the front office of the apartment where Dallas and I had taken the test before. I exited my apartment, and saw that the stairs were gone, but just from the third to the second floor. It also appeared that there was trash and random things on the second floor. I guess they were doing some type of construction. I carefully made my way down, hoping not to fall. I somehow made it down just fine, though I had to be very careful and precise with my movements.

I was then outside during the daytime with Dallas's mom. It was morning. We were standing in front of this huge, clear pool of water that was only supposed to be used for boats. It was not open for the day yet. There was a gate in the middle of it, and two small water ways for the small boats to pass through. I could see the small building where the test was in the distance. I jumped into the water, fully clothed. It was very comfortable, a little warm even. I think the water had been too cold before, and Dallas's mom was saying something to me about it. She then jumped in as well, and we were swimming around in the water, even though we weren't supposed to be in it. A small speedboat then came through one of the water ways. I figured we probably needed to get out before we got in trouble.

I then was looking at a computer at my typed up dreams from the night on my DJ here on DV. I could only see some of the text against the black background of my DJ; the rest of it was hidden. I highlighted it with my mouse, and I could see it again.

At some point, I became lucid in my apartment, but either it didn't last, or I just forgot what happened.

~

Wow, so either my subconscious was trolling me with the janitor Mike thing, or I dunno what. It didn't seem like Mike; his personality was much different. I felt like he was having to be incognito for some reason? I'm not sure. It was strange that I couldn't summon him, though. Maybe it was because the dream wasn't very stable? Though at that point, it had stabalized quite a bit. Hmm. Weird and interesting.

I will say, though, that it seems to be becoming easier for me to become lucid. I don't normally have this many LDs in the same week (knock on wood). I am being more intentional about becoming lucid, thinking about it before I fall asleep, and definitely when I wake up and have to pee or something, which is the best opportunity for me to do a WBTB. Hoping that this lasts; I am very much so enjoying all this lucid time.

#349 - DILD - 8:54am

I am in my first house that I bought with my ex but instead I am with Alysha. She's talking to someone and my son is playing a game. There are several boxes with plush green hair balls. You set a timer and they all pop out. You have to put them all back in before the time is up. For some reason the game is spread out on our bed in the living room. I lose interesting in the game and interrupt my wife, "Can we move our bed out of here before we have people over?" She says we can and I start taking the now broken down bed to the bedroom. My wife leaves saying something about 7PM being the bridal shower. Again? I thought she did that last week.

I am now in the master bedroom. There's already a bed. Sunlit filters in the room leaving everything a golden color. At first I am a little sad that its Sunday night and the weekend is almost over. A feeling of a memory enters my mind and it is cozy and comforting. I linger there trying to understand this. I see a clock. It's 7 something.

I walk back down the hall. I think that I had taken a nap until 7 and I hope that I will be able to go to sleep again. I see another clock its 5 something. I get suspicious and grab another clock. It's a distorted 2 with some half-formed digits. I remember that it's actually late morning and I was hoping for a DILD. Well hear it is! I decide to go ahead and nose plug but this time I suck in instead of blowing out. This causes my physical body to snort loudly, jolting me awake.

I had other NLDs but this one was kinda funny. Basically my brother told me about frogs at the park that make marijuana and bury it in little holes in the ground. I was curious about this and wanted to try smoking it. My dad starts ranting and raving about weed. I wonder why weed is so demonized. I start driving but I never make is because the packet of Corn Nuts I was eating said something about causing hemorrhoid flare up. I got really worried and found a bathroom at my parents house, took a hand-held mirror and looked at my own butt-hole. It seemed fine.