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An actually fairly high recall night, most dreams short, but it seems every waking had recall. A big step up from the last couple weeks...

BT ~23:15
final waking 06:55 (a bit earlier probably)
OOB 07:15 after more recall and voice recording

Adopted a mindset of acceptance about whatever experience the night brings. Strategy from the book "End the Insomnia Struggle", I applied not only to sleep but to dreaming and recall. Seemed to work out!

Also, bedtime supplements: full set of vitamins in the evening, including glycine and l-tryptophan right before bed. 1 of our banana cups before bed.
Didn't walk in the evening. Was outdoors in the sun a lot in the daytime.

+ outdoors daytime in a field (with bottle of pills?) with a girl we're hurrying to finish our business to get out of here before the (monsters/zombies/etc) come out

+ outside CH, on old bus stop, hiding from someone who's coming for us, need to get to destination without being seen, car arrives woman and girl inside, I urgently say we need to go quickly

+ playing blackjack in a casino run by ScoSel (founder company 3). I'm thinking about the 3-2 payout they pay for blackjack. I see/imagine the dealer paying out these blackjack payoffs, first duplicating the player's bet stack, then adding a 50% additional half-stack right next to it. I imagine seeing a player with an Ace, and then the dealer deals a 10 for a blackjack. I wonder if a table is "hot" for the players, if they will change the dealer frequently. The management comes up, it's SS from company 3, he demands for all the players to hand over our watches to him for inspection, I get outraged about this and say "I'd think because of our common employment history you'd be treating us a lot better," and he answers "Because of that, we're taking it easy on you."

+ playing basketball [DS], I'm on the court, make a short, it balances on the rim but doesn't go in, then I'm guarding a girl who has the ball and put my hand up (I see it, missed DILD trigger), and say "it's hard to get a clear shot when there's a hand in your face", there's another guy now with the ball beyond her and I imagine that I could step up and slap the ball away if he tries to take a shot. I'm standing around freakishly tall players (like 3 meters), there are several of them, I think how could anyone my size possibly guard guys this tall in a game, it's impossible. I look at their tall and slightly distorted bodies, their stomachs are poking out a bit. I'm with a coach or trainer of mine, he's setting up a step ladder and climbing up it, he comments about something "that it doesn't usually help."

+ vacuuming up crumbs in a living room around a couch, the carpet is white, I hear the clicking sound of the crumbs getting sucked up the vacuum's hose, I keep finding more, then I find a huge pile of fallen crackers/cookies I get embarrassed that I dropped these, my wife (?) comments about my having dropped them (tsk-tsking me?) and I say "I know I know" and I'm picking them up.

+ observing a fancy dinner party, waiters are bringing the last of the bottles of wine out to the guests, (there's a white wine, chilled and dripping condensation? and a red wine?), one guest gives me an odd salute with his wine glass by putting his whole face in the glass, the glass on top of his head, and slowly dragging the glass down his face before removing it, I think he's perhaps making fun of wine snobs?

+ In a (bathroom?) with a large/unwieldy set of scales the size and form of a printer, trying to stand on it (ceiling too low?), some guy makes wise-ass comments about it

2 dreams last night. Jamie calling out to me saying, "I miss you.". This dream seemed to happen twice in a row.

Had one other dream about McDonald's. There was another new burger coming out. I asked managers how to make it and they said,"Figure it out yourself." Rudely. I just started arguing with them...

bedtime 22:45 (?) - 23:00 (?) (not later)
final OOB 08:00

waking during the night, from the light level in the room, somewhere around 05:00-05:30 body feels very hot and I feel a bit out of breath
Maintain drowsiness remains but not progressing towards sleep and mind starts kicking in.
"Do not think", let go, a bit of Yoga Nidra cycle, adopt "I'm falling asleep at initial bedtime" and totally turn off, a bit of this works and fall asleep.

New Attitude towards recall: observe, recall, but don't try to "force" dreaming. Welcome the dreams that come without particular expectation.

Going to try out "I trust you" approach: I do the day work, I know my dreaming mind knows how to (lucid) dream, hand the ball over to my dreaming mind at night and be open and welcome to the experiences, but don't try to manage or control them.

Lie without covers and body cools off and begin to feel drowsy again. Fall asleep eventually and a few dreams right before waking.

early:

+ Climbing up a steep, rocky mountain with a group, turns into an out-of-control slide down long, slippery rocky slide/chutes, going off jumps and flying through the air thinking "Oh, f%^&!", I have no control of my trajectory and think I'll probably get smashed against the rocks
The rock is colored in tones of red, orange, brown.

+ Waiting for the crowd around my boss (a famous politician?) to disperse so I can tell her I'm not going to be her cocaine mule any more. Indoors, Dark/twilight lighting [DREAM SIGN]

+ Trying to do squats with a very heavy iron frame/yoke on my back that my mentor gave me to try that had been hanging on a wall. I see it hanging on the wall in front of me, it is several parallel bars (rusty?) of metal with some space (seems too narrow?) to get your head in between. I put it on and turn away from the wall, and try to stand up. I feel the weight of it, and despite it being light enough for me to squat reasonably well in waking like (around 100 lbs) [I think this actually in the dream], I always teeter to one side and lose my balance when I stand up with it.

late:

+ Sitting on and riding down a diagonally-vertically inclined store check-out belt heading towards the cashier at the bottom, the woman in front of me reaches out to the left and slams the "bypass" button. This enrages the (woman) cashier who screams "No f%^&in way am I scanning all of those items manually!" I advise the woman to call for the manager right when she demands to see the manager. Those two get into a fight and the customer woman becomes a man who starts beating up the cashier and calling her the "B" word, my sympathies shift to the cashier as I see how brutal the customer has become.

+ Observing scenes where (actor Chris Pine?) is tied up in various bondage scenarios (inside a car with lots of items, in a wheelbarrow being wheeled around?), there's a woman who is his captor, and a group of people, the group are talking about when they're going to release him, the captor indicates she has no intention of doing so soon.
+ climbing mountain, sliding down slide-like chutes out of control

+ walking behind mentor (female boss?), she's a drug dealer but I'm waiting for the crowd around her to disperse before confronting her and saying I will no longer work for her (?)

I’m going to go on a hike, I think on Mt. Rose with Mom and Melissa. I’ve put on a coat (I think with nothing under it) and a fanny pack. One or both of these has a bright color scheme that reminds me of the 80s. I’ve packed a couple of snack items. I’m now ready but still waiting on them, apparently not as concerned with being timely as I am. Now we’re in a coffee shop. Mom is trying to order me an Americano or cold brew, but there is some complication. The younger, brunette barista nicely explains the options of what he can make. I get overwhelmed and end up saying that I don’t particularly want a coffee anyway.

*After remembering and writing this, I just know it has to do with Granny. Sure enough, Mom calls me this morning to ask if I want to hike Mt. Rose with her this weekend.

I’m in a grocery store with Melissa. She’s on the phone with someone, so I go off and look at the beer section. It seems to be one long aisle, including the corner at the end of it (I don’t notice any refrigerated section). They have a pretty good selection of beers I’ve never seen before. One is a strong ale that I think is around 13% ABV. A little of the liquid shows above the label - it’s almost completely clear, and I can’t imagine that it’d be any good. I look through everything but don’t find the certain type I wanted or anything to substitute. I meet up with Melissa and tell her this.

I am going to do a float tank. I walk into the facility and have to use the restroom. I walk down a short hallway to the restroom and enter it. The room is fairly small but looks much larger due to the arrangement of mirrors on the walls. I’m looking straight ahead to a wall of sinks, and the room branches off to the right and left. I take a turn at random and am met with more options of directions to go. It’s hard to tell what is an actual space or not, due to the mirrors. This is a row of toilets or urinals with stall doors. I notice someone at the one to the right; I start using the one right in front of me. (Either in the dream or after, I think that this seems familiar from another dream).

I’m at work, and we are rearranging and/or moving the break room. I think I’m with Ben and Zoe. This place looks nothing like work and more like a little kitchen and living room. I don’t notice any windows. I carry a small, short, square table into one of the rooms. Setting it down with a foot or so of space between the two sides and two walls, I imagine a few of us awkwardly sitting around it. Ben now tries to lift a full book shelf (it looks like the one in our bedroom) by himself and breaks a little piece of a shelf off. I offer to help and he sets it down. I think I’ll take the books off first. Now, I’m in a small tent that is set up right in the middle of an intersection. I think it’s two lanes and a stoplight for each road. I know that this is the new beak area. I try to relax but really can’t, knowing that I’m in the middle of a road. I somehow see a truck drive through the intersection and veer to miss the tent. I don’t want it to always be like this.

I think I am at Aly and Adam’s place (not at all what it really looks like). This place seems like it’s far away from any others. It’s a modest house with a modest but nice yard. It seems like this is a get together with the family. We pass through the house and into the yard (which is maybe the size of the warehouse at work or maybe a little bigger). After a moment, I notice that the yard is completely enclosed with a white tent structure that comes off the roof of the house at the one end and has its own wall at the other. It seems dark out but it’s fairly illuminated in here, with a subtle but cool effect. Cousin Jon is here; I give him a handshake and one armed hug. I think he lifts me off the ground a bit. I ask him how life has been. I think some people are kicking a soccer ball in here (it is all grass).



I’m lying in bed with Melissa in a completely unfamiliar room (it somehow reminds me of my bedroom at Dad’s, though I think it looks nothing like it). We cuddle facing each other; I notice a large black and yellow frog slowly making its way up the wall. I know my gaze is fixed on it, but I try to make no intimation that anything is there. I get up to try to catch it.



Zoe has sent an email that asks something like ‘Ryan? Is that lucid enough?’ It’s about how hot the store and warehouse get. I am going to research OSHA and other sources and put together a large reply.



I’m at what feels like work (though it looks nothing like it). There are radial stone steps outside of the front doors and a man sitting on them. I think we are currently closed. I go out and sit by him. I tell him “thank you for filling in for Bill (Kreutzman).” (This guy is not Jay Lane, however). He seems appreciative, and I continue talking with him.

Really harrowing dream. My dad was doing something, maybe something violent, and he was a threat to my other (forgotten and likely fictional) loved ones in the room/house. I pointed my Glock at him, hoping he'd stop. He didn't. He came straight at me. I pulled the trigger, and as usual that was almost impossible to do. It did go off, sort of, hitting him. It didn't seem to do much. I ran away and grabbed my shotgun from the locker. The fight continued, and I think I got a couple of good hits in. The whole thing was adrenalin-fueled survival, I didn't really *want* to do any of this. Dad ran outside. I ran after him. It was night, dark and rainy. I lost track of dad. Finally, I calmed down and emotion overwhelmed me. I was crushed by regret. I'd shot my own father. I literally broke down into tears, crying "papa, papa". Then I woke up. What a great night that was.

bedtime: 23:30
little sandwiches, corn muffin, banana cherry thing before bed
tried 1 500mg NAC before bed. Didn't have any effect on dreams, certainly not more vivid, if anything, less dreams recalled
final OOB: 07:15
final waking: 05:45 (probably earlier, this was just when I glanced at the clock)

Get up for like 10 mins and sit in chair, doesn't really help get sleepy.
Bed was decently comfortable and I was not too hot after taking off the comforter. Was very warm before doing that, though.

early:
+ dark-ish/twilight lighting [DS] thinking about moving through a building, like a school, climbing first up to a high place outside the building, then entering through broken doors/openings down into the building. (Inside a room with people? -- vague)

later:
+ in daylight(?) we are on bikes in the flatlands and need to get (home? with sister?) up to the hills. I think this will take a long time nonetheless and be a big effort. There are horses and they want to walk this route, it will help them from overheating. We are riding bikes straight ahead, in a pretty big group. There are a lot of muddy/slick places on the path, and my wheels slip and spin a lot, but I make progress. At some point there are water rations given out. The people in control of the water use a device like a black light scanner that they shine into your cup, and when they do this the light reveals (orange? green?) glyphs/runs inside the cup, I see these. They interpret the runes and then decide if you are allowed to have water. I'm pissed off at this affront to the liberty of having water whenever you want to, that shouldn't be controlled.

+ at work at company "N", I'm working on a project that I do not like, I ask my manager Sha.Cly. if I can move back to my original group, but she says that she does not have the free reqs to allow that.

+ In a large group of guys in a shower room. There is one shower with a curtain which is occupied, and there's a line waiting for this one, and there's an open shower stall without a curtain right next to it on the right, I think why not, so I start to take a shower (?)

At some point I'm looking at a REALLY narrow shower stall. Full height but about only a head's width. I'm really confused by this. I'm looking at it and trying to figure out how even to get inside, and once inside, to do anything like turn around, it looks impossible

+ At a large event in a theater with lots of people [DS], they're calling people/groups up to the stage to receive their awards, I realize I'm naked [DS], and decide I'd better get dressed fast before they call me/my group up to the stage. I'm frantically looking around for my underwear but can't find it. There is underwear of all kinds strewn around the floor, I start to look for pairs that will work but aren't mine necessarily.

+ [forgotten scenes -- vehicles? Fights? Canons? Tanks?]

+[f] in a dark room [DS] watching (kids?) play on toy cars, they move via slippery sliding pads that slide over the floor, and the vehicle remains in place on the pads.

Bedtime: 23:00
meditation/calming 22:30-23:00 sitting in chair next to bed with mask on

saw a lot of dreamlets while sitting in the chair relaxing

woke around 05:00 with recall, delved and recovered more, but pretty wired awake. Took out earplugs so as to hear alarm. Mind wandering until about 06:00, decided to get serious about relaxation, put in earplugs because wife was noisy, wrapped t-shirt around head and then sleep mask on top, since it also covers the ears it helps keep it quiet. it's also more comfortable because the shirt is cotton and while the mask is silk the cushion inside is synthetic I'm sure.

Mind still really jumpy. Can't settle on a meditation or visualization. Need to plan one ahead of time.

Settled on Breathing relaxation, really focused on letting all tension go. Body scan from feet up to arms with relaxation, then began the yoga nidra track sequence, but stopping at each point to move awareness there and REALLY relax it with an inhale longer exhale. Didn't make it through the left side before falling asleep! Did a few half-assed SSILD cycles before that, too.

earlier:
+ in bed, see Suz. Bunt.

+ sharing 3 concentric stacked huge donuts with the hugely fat woman

final waking OOB 07:40

+ DJ MEO #1 2022-08-08 on mac notes
Three scenes:
- sitting outside back against building looking out over open field to sidewalk beyond, woman to my left? Brief ST?
- woman invites me to priest's house, say I have other business, "yeah we all do", think maybe it's a good idea to go there.
- meet a young blonde woman in a store (I know her?), she doesn't want to come with me and says so, I promise that "she goes first" and she agrees, she
has a large triangular piece of foil-wrapped cheese with her, we're trying to decide if we should just shoplift it or pay for it, decide to pay, I hand her money to the
cashier and return the change to her. I see a $5 note left on the check-out counter under the cash register drawer next to a yellow piece of (monopoly money?), and ask if that
is ours as well. I'm in my sister's room with the girl on a twin bed on wheels in the middle of the room, I think we should move to the less-mobile beds on the walls of the room, she falls off to the left, laughs and says "I'm naked!" I answer "that's the idea!" and pull her up and engage with her <ahem>, she seems very sensitive but likes it, she says "that's better than before where you were just getting saliva all over me!". I look up and notice the open window is looking out on a busy city street with people standing there, I don't want them to look in [DS], go to close the blinds, notice a door right there leading in to the room from the outside and think my sister and brother in law could come home and catch us at any moment. I also notice an entrance to a mall/office building right there as well, I think we should move to my old room where we'll have privacy. I go back to the girl and I see that she is now dressed in a fancy red dress, I say "No, no, no!" (I don't want the ST to be over), she says "I bought this for <the later event?>," I see the price tag, I see "13,...." and think "Oh my god it cost $13,000?!?!?" I look again and think no, that's just 13 in <local currency>", wake up.

deleted

I was vacationing with my father and stepsisters. We are driving/camping in an 18 wheeler gasoline truck and I am the one who is driving. We are on the interstate when we arrive at a section of road that is under construction and I am forced to turn off the highway in this massive and nonsensical spaghetti interchange. I am worried that I will end up driving off the end of an overpass/bridge as I see several that just end. Instead I somehow find myself driving into traffic that is going the other way. But I am a big truck and I lay into the horn. It is stressful but we manage to get out of traffic and onto a side road.

...

We are approaching in a small town about ten miles off the freeway. There are nothing but farms and forests all around I tell my father to use his phone GPS to get us back on the highway and towards our destination and he says that his phone isnt connecting. We then see that there is a cell phone tower but it fell over. There are three big black spaceships landed in a farm field.

The whole town is taken over by aliens. They are short and fat and look like gerbils or hamsters but are wearing military gear. Its kind of hard to take them seriously when two of them come up to the truck as we drive into town and tell us to pull over and get out. They take us into the town hall where they have gathered all of the humans and are holding us hostage.

My stepsister freaks out and gets into an ambulance and tries to drive away. There is an alien sniper on the steeple of a church. This one looks like a classic "alien" (skinny, gray skin, big eyes, etc) with a ray gun that shoots green blobs of plasma. Each time he shoots it he destroys like a one-foot sphere of the ambulance, leaving it molten around the edge. Most of his shots only hit the back part of the ambulance which doesn't stop it from driving but then my stepsister crashes into a fire hydrant and causes water to spray out.

...

We are in the supermarket. The aliens tell us we are being taken prisoner to become slaves and we must gather food that we can eat when I become lucid.

"Im dreaming. It's been a long time since I've been lucid."

"Hey buddy!" One of the hamster aliens yells, pointing his rifle at me. "Lucid dreaming isn't allowed."

Initially I was going to beat the crap out of him, but I have resolved to not annihilate every irascible dream character with powers. Instead I reach into my pocket. He tensed up and thought I was reaching for a weapon. I pulled out something that was like a business card though Im pretty sure it was blank and showed it to him.

"I have my lucid dreaming pass."

"Oh, ok then." And he walked away.

The fortunate thing is most dream characters dumb enough to attack a lucid dreamer are also dumb enough to fall for things like that. I tried a teleportation spell several times and had no luck so I decide to look for Manei. I call her name and one of the people in the supermarket comes up to me. She chides me for being unable to recognize her, but in this form she is much shorter and wearing an odd outfit that looks like a medieval bard with a lute and axe and stuff. She changes to her default form.

We go back outside where the gray alien is talking to two of the hamster aliens. The gray jumps up and down and screeches.

"Theres no such thing as a lucid dreaming pass you idiot! Kill them! Kill them right now!"

The gray alien is supposed to be their commander but he sounds and acts more like a tantruming toddler.

So after 10+ years of dealing with Manei I have finally figured out how I can get her to fly. Ive tried carrying her but that is logistically complicated considering I tend to fly by projecting fire jets from my hands and feet. Ive gotten really good at this over the years and its become a common schema. I still have problems sometimes getting enough thrust to get significant altitude or speed when i want. If I don't have all four limbs free to vector my direction of travel I tend to do a lot of crashing or flying out of control. But I intuitively discovered that by holding her hand I can somehow share the ability to project fire jets to her. Then as long as we can stay in "formation" we can fly much more conveniently.

We lift off. No real trouble with thrust or gaining altitude. Which has been an issue the past few years considering how out of practice i've been with this stuff. The aliens try to shoot at us but their aim is actually egregious. The gray alien screams again

"Shoot them! You have stormtrooper aim, you idiot hamsters!"

...

We are flying for awhile when the flying cut out. Ive had issues where it gradually putters out but this time it just immediately shut down for both of us. I grabbed onto her and landed on my back, even though I we weren't flying very high and I have seen her survive far worse than a fifty-foot fall into grass. To be completely fair I dont think the aliens were much of a threat once I became lucid, but it was better to not be distracted by them. When we land she begins sharing a power with me to walk across water as we have landed in next to a remote pond. When we get to the shore we see a long bridge in the sky. Its some kind of highly advanced mag-lev train system.

"You must be really out of practice if you can't teleport."

"What are you talking about? I was never good at it to begin with. Most of the time I would just end up waking myself up."

--we did discuss more after this but it turned into a highly personal discussion. I woke up not long after.--

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

A friend from school disappears. She had introduced me to her new boyfriend and another friend, and they both seemed like shady guys and I feel like they are responsible for her disappearance. So at night I go to a piece of land where we've been hanging out with them. One day I noticed one of them being very interested in the sandy soil of that plot of land and making comments like "it's so easy to dig a hole in here". I start digging with my bare hands under a tree where we'd sit and I find a foot. I am planning on calling the police as soon as I leave the place, but her so-called boyfriend appears and catches me still digging. I pretend I am not shocked or scared to see him, when he asks what I am doing. I know he was dating her but he also had a crush on me, so I run with that. I say I suspected he had got rid of her and I needed to be sure. As expected, he is a fucking psycho and he confesses murdering her. I fooled him and he seems happy that apparently I wanted him to myself. He kinda invites me to sit down and lay on the ground with him, over the place she is buried. I accept and allow him to flirt with me under the stars while he goes on about why he had to do it. I totally convinced him, but then his other friend shows up and he is not buying it. He doesn't trust me and I know he is already planning on killing me. But as long as I the other guy is around and convinced of my feelings for him, I am safe. Then he goes on about his latest discovery and shows his friend a jar with powdered dry plants that are highly poisonous and how they can make use of it. I get the feeling they actually are serial killers and my friend wasn't their first. I also suspect he is openly talking about the poison while he looks at me sarcastically as a form of intimidation. He will try to poison me. Since I live with roommates, they are also indanger. So I just wanna go home and warn my roomates not to eat anything that is not sealed and not to take their hands to their mouths before washing them. I also think of my cats and ways to protect them from also being accidentaly poisoned if he sneaks into the house with the poison.