dream fragment

Jamie

She showed up once. Found myself on a couch with her and she wasn't looking at me or talking to me. She eventually got and left without saying a word. Yeah, our dream friendship has gone pretty downhill over the last few months . I have pretty much given up hope I'll ever hear from her again. Sounds like whatever hope was left in her is pretty much gone also. I feel it.

Nightmare

Walked into my living room and saw my dogs head on the ground with his face twitching. I was shocked at that site and ran into my bedroom and my dog's severed head was there also. This time as well as twitching there was blood all over the floor. I went into the next room and asked my aunt what happened to my dog. She had a crazy laugh and said, "Well, He just looked so depressed I just decided to cut off his head! HAHAHA."

Car Crash.

Was walking around with riya from work outside ina field. We somehow ooka ride from someone. At a strange turnpike He lost control and the van slid into a super deep ditch. We hung on the edge for a second, and i said, "That's far down we're going to die." The driver said, "No we won't."

We fell in and no one was hurt. I got out of the van and riya followed me. I realized i left my gloves in the vand and went back for them. Back at the van a board in the van was pushing upward. I lifted the board up and a small dog got out. I found gloves that weren't mine and ruffled through things until I found the right kind. Riya was behind me talking. We left the scene and wound up back in the same field.

In the field I passed a blond woman with poofy hair. But she had really weird colours to her...

LEGEND:
Black = non-lucid
Grey = awake
Blue = lucid

---

Lucid fragment
I reality check and get lucid, but either don't remember what came after it or the dream faded.

Great false awakening lucid!
Discouraged from my failed lucid that I just woke up from, I decide to do an especially aware reality check and then go to sleep with the mantra "When I see my hands I will remember I am dreaming and I will remember my body isn't real." The last part of the mantra is to make me more lucid and aware, so that I'm not just a zombie.

I then heard a noise my father made (maybe be dropped something) and got startled by it, and was disappointed. But I did a reality check, and, to my surprise, I breathed right through my plugged nose and was in a lucid dream. I immediately stood up and decided to leave my home. I tried looking away and back, imagining there'd be a door. I wanted to go to a specific place, but I ended up going into a mall. For some reason I suddenly had a VR headset on my head and my lucidity slipped a bit and things started getting unclear, both since that's something that happens if you don't have your VR headset on correctly and because the dream was fading, but as I took it off it caught itself. For a few seconds, I was somewhere else, but returned to the mall without really noticing. The place might have been full of brownish sand and sort of boxed in somehow.

Now, back in the mall, I run around and explore, excited, although not as aware as in the beginning anymore, but still better than any other lucid dream I've had. I see a small (100ml volume?) box of sodium iodide and think about trying to blow something up (that's hard with sodium iodide, but, again, I had lost awareness in the VR headset segment), but I ended up not trying, both because I didn't know if they'd have any chemical that'd work out with it (forgot that you could summon things since my awareness was shit) and because I didn't want to anymore. As I thought about it, I had actually tried to grab the box of it, but I only had the lid in my hands since it slipped off, and somebody was mad at me since I grabbed it (I had a small fear that someone would notice, but I didn't really care since I was sure I could just flee). And thus, I fled.

I then decided to try some shapeshifting again. I looked at my hands and saw that I had way too many fingers than normal (about 14 on my right hand), so I tried to touch things with the hand to see how having more fingers feels like, and it felt like normal, just slightly different. It's hard to describe. But I didn't want to continue to do something else that is more personal.

I went to a sort of computer terminal and input commands and hoped for them to appear in the dream, but it didn't quite work out. At some point I did a stabilization attempt by inspecting my hands, but still nearly woke up, but ended up back at a sort of bodyless distant view that was even less aware of the terminal, which now looked like a piano/organ, and apparently dracula was playing on it. It sort of was like a comedic variation of some sort of area in a video game. I then sort of had to click on the piano to go to the terminal again to continue typing, and it still didn't work, and then I woke up.

---

That awareness drop after the vr segment was annoying, but being that aware at all was progress, at least. I think I will add something to get more aware of dream control in my dreams.

Also, the first lucid fragment resulted from an extra aware reality check yesterday before I went to bed, since I was a bit disappointed that I couldn't reality check all that much because of school eating my time and stressing me.

1st July 2020

Fragment:

Long dream but recall up to this point was poor. About halfway in, I was going through a busy-ish city centre with some other dream character walking along with me.

Then a very obvious dream sign appeared, a tall woman in labcoat, walking away in a different direction, possibly wearing nothing else. She had flat and very black hair, reminding me of one of my cousin's hair or come to think of it, a sort of Cleopatra hairstyle?

I recognised the dream sign and checked the fingers on my right hand, but for some reason I didn't realise I was dreaming and I didn't make further checks. Something about my fingers seemed distorted but the number was correct. I didn't remember to do any physics checks oddly and I think I was also distracted by whatever my previous dream objective was.

Later I either had a micro awakening or another pre-lucid moment during which I automatically reflected on what had happened and how I'd been unable to realise I was dreaming, but again not realising this irony.

(Missing recall)

Different part of the dream. I was somewhere kind of dark. Some dream character was showing me something? Then some of this characters pet spiders appeared on the ground out of nowhere, individually one after another, there were only a few though. But for some reason in the dream I let my phobia sort of return and take a small hold of me, mostly because of the first spider. It was a black and yellow/gold patterned orb weaver, about the size of a large hand. Even in my temporarily panicked state I realised that it seemed more afraid of me, but I couldn't shake the feeling of unease.

(Missing transition)

Another part of the dream sequence where I was at some modern-ish looking house. I was not myself, but a character for the dream plot. I was some kind of elemental creature but I don't recall any details of my form or appearance. There were four other humanoid creatures of similar elemental nature. There was an absent character that had created us and one of the other creatures had been created right in front of me. She appeared in a cloud of white smoke within a glass room, which I was standing outside of. The glass enclosing this "room" made it more like a container or cell of sorts really.

---

Notes:

- This dream was a particularly good pre-cursor to the lucidity I had later on (4th August).
-- At this point I had been becoming more diligent with my reality checks but not quite so much just yet. Currently at the time of writing (13th August) I am far more diligent with my RCing though there are still situations under which I should be checking but still am not quite so often.

- My primary issue with my RC was really the fact that I gave up on the first try but this was made much worse by the fact that the dream itself caused distraction from my RC procedure, something that I'm a bit more careful.

- The bit with the spiders was somewhat unusual in that I haven't been letting this affect me at all in waking life but it may have been around the time when I've seen bigger ones around the house more recently.
- This was the first dream with spiders for quite some time now, I think.

27th June 2020

Fragment:

Long dream but details faded. Remember being in the mountains, by myself. It was a sort of twilight hour. I remember looking under what was a false boulder and there was money under there, a few thousand euros and pounds. There was a message saying I was to take as much as I wanted.

I stuffed it all in my shorts pockets.

Then I remember thinking about going back home or something, I felt like I was lost in an unknown country. I arrived at a hotel place of some sorts and H was there in the role of a generic servant or something.

(Transition/recall gap.)

In some kind of big store. There's only a few people around, it's day time and not much artificial lighting is needed in here as it seems to be adequately lit naturally. Then this group of guys comes in and they are a bit stocky, not fat though. They are going to rob a vault at the store. They do so and there isn't much fuss about it, apart from the odd scream from a woman. I hear them talking or something and they managed to steal 6.2 billion.

I think about how much money that is, and how it looks so small physically, as they only carried a few sacks of notes between them. I remember maybe being in the car with them and talking about their robbed loot.

---

Notes:

- Although I remember having this dream since it wasn't that long ago, none of the visual recall seems to be coming back really, so in that sense I can't consider it very memorable at this time.
- I remember there was a fair bit of dialogue in this dream, but this is typically amongst my most easily lost details.

Some more DJ catch up.

24th June 2020

Fragment:

Dream about going into a doctor's office, either alone or with H. Doctor said they needed to do a biopsy and that it was going to be in one of my shoulder blades?

Created Wednesday 12 August 2020

Got a short WILD, two DILDs, and a fragment today.

Spoiler for Kinda long:

Scrap Group 1
Several dreams of my arguing with a man-eating giant, one that was previously a human, no less. I couldn't fathom how she could justify her actions.

WILD transition in bed. Things were rather blurry. I overheard my cousin's daughter Harriet supposedly entering and blabbering around nearby. I really concentrated to keep myself from getting woken up. Assuming a meditative pose, I floated out of the room. I found myself in a grey void. The dream collapsed shortly after. Re-entry attempt, but I drifted off two minutes later.

Dream 1 - Some Simple Requests

Almost no visuals at first, but that clarified over time. FA in bed, Noticing a mild spinning sensation quickly made me aware. My sleeping mask prevented me from seeing much of anything. I knew trying to remove it myself would be a waste of time. So, I called on my guide, E, for help. She didn't manifest physically, though an unseen force did indeed pull away my mask for me.

With that done, I floated to the kitchen and towards the back doors. I tried phasing through the sliding doors, but only bounced off of them. So, I called out for help again. Once more, the mysterious force interacted by pushing me forward. I managed to squeeze through the doors, if with some resistance.

I stepped outside to a beautiful dawn sky. The backyard looked more like how it was a year or two ago, at a time where it hadn't been paved over. In any case, I tried accomplishing a task, thinking the giant-killing one would suffice. I called out to conjure a giant. But, none appeared, not even after a minute or so of waiting.

Suddenly, my limbs tensed up. I reacted too slowly to keep myself from waking up. Another re-entry attempt, but I dozed off several minutes later. Various unknown dreams occurred before transitioning to the one below.

Dream 2 - Showdown with a Sorceress

The visuals were slightly blurred. I was standing by a one-lane road in the middle of a deciduous forest, daylight seeping through the leaves. A vintage 30's convertible with dark paint was nearby.

More pertinently, I was in the middle of a confrontation with a demonic sorceress! She appeared as a thin, light skinned middle aged woman in a mauve robe. A golden tiara rested atop a head of wild, long black hair. A set of sharp teeth, oversized and crooked, jutted out as she smirked. There were other figures nearby, each battered and worn out. I 'recalled' they'd gotten in a losing battle with the sorceress. They were trying to prevent her from causing wanton death and destruction. Now, it was up to me alone to stop her. Upon reflecting the situation, I got aware. Still, I decided to play along. No way was I gonna miss out on this kind of fun!

My opponent and I clashed via telekinesis, which manifested visually as an ethereal wall of shimmering blue light. However, I struggled to push back, whereas the sorceress looked no worse for wear. The wall inched closer to me by the second. It was only a matter of time before I'd falter.

Just then, the voice of a new figure calling out interrupted our match. "Mother?", utters a squeaky voice.

I glance over to see a young girl, no older than six years of age. Like the sorceress, she was pale, and had long, dark hair, if not quite as frizzy. She wore a long white dress, and had a wide-brimmed sun hat of the same color.

Upon catching sight of her, the witch hesitated. Her face contorted with rage and confusion. After a painful transformation, her teeth reverted to human form. "What are you doing here?!", she snarled in bewilderment. The little girl could only stammer. An awkward silence followed.

It took a while before I snapped back into the moment. Taking advantage of this situation, I attacked once again. I warp-dashed behind the sorceress, my body fading into black shadows as I did. As soon as I re-materialized, I grabbed the wicked woman, putting her in a Full Nelson hold. "Release me!", she roared out as she writhed in my grasp. She wasn't as overwhelmingly strong as she was before. Still, I knew she could break out at any time.

I looked over to the witch's daughter. "Kid!", I called out. "Try to talk her down!"

The girl winced and shook her head, desperate to make sense of this chaos. Eventually, she responds. "Stop!", she shrieks, addressing me and my foe. "Please, stop!"

The demon witch once again let her guard down. Using this chance, I projected all of my energy out in the form of a spherical force field. Like before, the sorceress and I engaged in a magical struggle. She tried pushing back with all her might, but to no avail. Slowly, but certainly, the orb wrapped around her, trapping her above me in a shining bubble. The sorceress glowered down at me in disbelief. She couldn't fathom that she'd been defeated.

I only barely noticed then that we'd all been warped to one of the upstairs rooms at home. Not minding that, I sighed in relief. Then, I broke out in triumphant laughter. "Hah! I did it!", I exclaimed. I flexed my biceps, pranced around, and shadowboxed as I continued celebrating. "Yeah! I'm the best! I'm the strongest! I-oh..." I trailed off when I heard the little girl sobbing nearby. Well, that was a real jerk move on my part. I was at a loss on how to handle this. I mean, what could I tell her? That her mother deserved this? That her mother is bad? That it's for the best?

The least I could do is try to apologize for my gloating. "Listen, kid... I..." But, the daughter's tearful glare shut me up. She was momentarily silent, before she ran off wailing. I felt really terrible about this...

Soon, the other figures began vanishing before my eyes. The dream destabilized, and collapsed.

Shape fragment
I see a shape, possibly a line or deformed line of some color, maybe white.

Mixed fragment
I am some girl, probably in the teens, and I might somewhat have the role of Buffy from Buffy the vampire slayer, but in the dream I hadn't discovered that yet. There was something with a father who might have done something bad with someone he keeps calling. At some point I am together in some forest or jungle with another girl, having discovered my role. At some point my view flew into the sky, as if it was in a game and it was showing that something is happening.

---

I really need to get aware again, right as I got a bit less aware I stopped having lucid dreams so it's time to do that again. It's just a bit hard for me to remember where I was 15 minutes ago when I reality check, so I get stressed since I need to do it often as well.

Person fragment
There was some person, I see some red, maybe a shirt, maybe at my home. Maybe the person was kidnapped at some point in the dream plot.

Last catch up entry for today I think.

23rd June 2020

Fragment:

Remember seeing Discord. I had been removed from the Nx server, as it was no longer on the list. My friends looked shorter too. I soon realised A wasn't on the list anymore and I presumed I'd been removed from their friends list. I checked my Steam friends list and saw the same again.

In the dream I remember thinking this was unsurprising, but all the same, disappointing. It made me feel as though I'd been used, and made irrelevant past a certain point.

---

Notes:
- This part of whatever dream it was from surely came about as part of my emotional processing of a few things, but primarily from a wariness so as to not let myself be lied to or used.
- In the dream I think there was some subtext of libel against me.

21st June 2020

Fragment:

My phone needed charging and I was at home with H. I went to get a charger for my phone and plugged it in; there was arcing/sparking and a flash.

I opened the back of the phone and took the cable off it and saw that the battery had bulged slightly in one place. And the cable specs said it provided 2.9v rather than what it supposedly needed, 5v.

Fragment:

Some bit around my home town. I'm in the car, with mom and dad. Mom complains about being nearly 11:30 even though the dash says 10:30. Mom was complaining because we had to be there (at the destination?) and my siblings weren't ready or in the car with us yet.

Dad took us to some cafe, or restaurant? Near where the pools in my old home town are.

Fragment:

In the kitchen at our current home. I was going to take codeine, but it had been prescribed for something other than pain, like allergies?

---

Notes:
- The part in the car with mom and dad is a typical scenario that might happen when we all still lived together, when I was a kid/teen.
- At the time I'm making these notes (10th of August), I am on medication that means that I can't take codeine too; this would probably be a good cue for RCing since I know it would be dangerous to actually take the codeine currently.

14th June 2020

Dream Fragment:

In some altered version of our house, with H. I remember a greenhouse of sorts around back, it was dark.

Transition? Another scene, still same area. Me and H walking around and there's this Polish lady and in the dream she is a neighbour of ours. She has a kid or two, and a husband who is away at the moment.

We hear her talk in her native language to her child, who is indoors. She's sitting on a dark grey fibreglass chair outside, our garden areas are apparently joined together. Her house isn't lined up straight with ours though, it's set further back, so the door leading inside her house from the "back" is technically on the side of her house, not the front or back.

I remember we spoke to her, she wanted something, like something done for her or fixed for her perhaps.

---

Notes:
- In the dream I remember that my knowledge about her family was simply intuitive, as if we'd known the family casually for years.
- While I don't really remember the lady's appearance or her children's appearance, I have the feeling she had black, tied-back hair. This fits some character archetype my dream mind keeps constructing from time to time.

- I am recalling, having written the above note, that I had a short-term friend (Ca) when I was a kid, who sort of matched this description; she was particularly tall despite being about the same age but she did get some abuse from other kids for that, since kids always find ways of being mean. I remember for a few years I'd always been a bit sad we didn't stay in touch or remain friends since we didn't stay in touch, but to be honest at some point I just don't even remember seeing her anymore, despite the fact that my home town was fairly condensed and most people knew each other in some vague way at the very least. During my childhood she was one of few girls with whom I got along with quite well.

- I think my dream mind likes to feature different families with children of their own as a window into what that life might be like.
- The backyard, oddly enough, was actually grassy, unlike the concrete backyard we do have at our current home.

Will be trying to update here more frequently. I've really been neglecting the opportunity that COVID has given me to up my dream game and be more diligent with journaling. So let's change that!

20200801 (3nl)

1. swamp monster hunters consulting gypsies and bringing along journalist woman (she smelled?); in the woods skinny tweaker methheads interacting with big gnarled ginger root woody monsters, white van parked with headlights; in the stream, small monster with big nose - gypsies confirmed it's the worst one
This was a pretty memorable dream as far as the visuals and emotions. It was actually narrated, and sort of felt like an episode of True Detective (S1) with the lighting and "cinematography" if I can put it that way.

2. before this, downton abbey style old house family drama

3. shopping mall or false memory?

Being a guardian wolf
I am some sort of wolf, and I am there to protect Snow White from once upon a time at some sort of warehouse. Something attacks. At some point I see myself in third person. I might have two different eye colors it seems, and I am in a sort of lurking pose. I might later be hurt.

A very strange girl
A girl is sort of really insane. Maybe she isn't even human. Maybe she even kidnapped me. It might be in some other world, but it definitely is very strange and has a strange feeling associated to how the world works. She at some point wants to do something really strange like building a cocoon..? And at some point she might have sent me into another world or something, maybe restaurant related. In the end she tries to stab me and we are suddenly in the hallway of my home, and then I try and choke her and she is suddenly a cat.

Created Thursday 06 August 2020

Wow. Lots of things today. False memories of writing notes made me forget some details, as did the phone somehow deleting quite a bit of content. Frickin thing...

Spoiler for Quite long. NSFW violence.:

Scrap Group 1
WILD transition in bed. My vision was terrible, and I had a lot of trouble moving. I could barely float towards the kitchen, where I heard several figures speaking. I called out for their attention, but they didn't seem to listen.

Various FA and SP experiences. Been a while since my last SP, heh. Seeing as I couldn't move, I just waited them out for a more proper transition.

WILD transition in bed. The stage transition sound byte from Sonic Adventure 2 suddenly sounded. Warp. Spectator mode. This was a clip of a 3D Sonic game. Knuckles was running through a bridge/tunnel over a waterway. Tube Panic from Knuckles Chaotix was sounding in the background. After watching for a minute, I manifested into the dream. I flew at high speeds through numerous tunnels.

FA in bed. I assumed I was writing notes. I also failed to notice my speaking with my guide, E.

Dream 1 - August TOTM Basic I

The visuals were dim and quite blurred, mostly due to my face being covered by sheets and a sleeping mask. FA in bed, though I quickly got aware.

Suddenly, a figure pounced on me. I wrestled back, keeping them at arm's length. I soon heard this was my brother Isaac, or rather, someone that sounded somewhat like him. He claimed that I bothered him somehow, but I ignored him. Instead, I asked he take off my covers so that I could finally see more clearly. He begrudgingly complied.

Free of him, I got up to take a better look around. It was then that I noticed the figure glaring at me from bed wasn't Isaac. Instead, he looked suspiciously similar to myself in my adolescence. Regardless, I just thought to only interact with him for reasons of a task.

"Hey.", I began. "Who's dream is this?"

"Your's, obviously.", the younger me responded while rolling his eyes. I didn't expect he'd know as much. This made me very curious.

"Surprised you knew that. Who are you?".

"I'm your subconscious."

I frowned at his answer. "Subconscious? What a load of crap.", I thought to myself. Still, I did want to understand more of this. "I already have E as a guide.", I answered. "I don't need your help".

The kid glowered. "You shouldn't follow her. Don't trust her."

What an incredulous response. I didn't know whether to be insulted, confused, or humored. My 'subconscious' kept deriding E,, while I dismissed him as a misinformed know-nothing. We continued to argue for a bit until the dream collapsed.

Scrap Group 2
Another FA in bed, where I once again thought I wrote some notes down.

Dream 2 - Hog Head Crush

The visuals were dim and quite blurred. FA/SP in bed.

Suddenly, I was beset by a grunting beast: a large feral hog. Couldn't really see it, but it certainly oinked like one. The creature immediately chewed on my scalp, tearing off large chunks of skin. It didn't hurt that much, but that didn't make it any less disturbing. I 'figured' it was avenging the deaths of all the pork I've eaten in my lifetime. Regardless, I got aware.

Seeking vengeance in turn, I tried conjuring a burning aura around me. It only manifested up as thick heat haze. Nonetheless, it worked well enough to scald the creature. The pig squealed and writhed in agony. It tried to run away, but I wasn't gonna let it get off that easy. I clenched its head with my hand. The wild animal mauled me in turn, though that didn't help it any. I dug my burning fingers into its skull. Before long, the hog's head moldered away. The dream collapsed shortly after.

Dream 3 - Late to the Great War

The visuals were dim. FA in bed, though I got aware again.

Soon, a vision appeared before me. It starts with an evening thunderstorm over grassy hills. Continuous lightning strikes illuminated the skies in a spectacular display. Just then, unusual vehicles loomed in from the land and air. From above, a fleet of alien-looking zepplins cruised the skies. From the hills tromped in bulbous tanks with four mechanical legs instead of treads. Although the tech didn't seem like it was from anything found on Earth, it also appeared dated, no more advanced than the interwar period.

And then, a battle erupted. Cluster bombs rained from above, ruining much of the countryside in seconds. By some miracle, most of the tanks remained intact. A constant barrage of artillery shells fired from the horizon, lighting up the clouds. Infantry rushed in from nowhere, taking cover within craters.

It was an equally terrible and mesmerizing sight. I didn't want to just spectate any longer. I manifested within the scene. Rain and winds pressed down hard, keeping me from moving too much. The surprise of that, and my over-eagerness, caused the dream to collapse.


Dream 4 - In The Clutches of Another Hungry Giant Lady

The visuals started quite blurred, though clarified over time. FA in bed, but I quickly got aware. Once again, I had trouble moving. I could only lurch my way out of the house, completely disregarding that I was only in my boxers.

It was a beautiful clear day. The sun glared in my eyes momentarily. As I shambled out the driveway, I overheard Egg Reverie from Sonic Mania sounding in the background. I opted to change it to Track 6 from Dyna Brothers.

Anyway, I paced my way out of the neighborhood. That's when I noticed a few glaring incongruities: the road forward extended for many blocks, there were several 6-story tall condo buildings in the distance, and, above all, there was a stout, similarly-sized gigantic woman tromping around near said buildings.

Interested, I wanted to hurry over there. But, I was really impatient, and decided just to conjure the giant woman towards me. Instead, a colossal cartoon character appeared, though it didn't take long for them to appear lifelike. I looked up, to see it was a different giantess, dark skinned, average build, and roughly 60+ feet in height. The woman was wearing only a red tank-top and boxers, and given that her puffy hair was matted, she obviously only got up from bed as well. She was a bit plain looking, but still, she didn't look bad given the circumstances.

Suddenly, the woman scooped me up in one hand. As startling as that was, I kept my composure. I began greeting her, but the sleepy giantess snarled back before I could finish. Just then, she dragged me into her gaping mouth! Her teeth and molars clamped down at my midsection. She fiercely gnawed and yanked on my torso with her jaws, knocking the air out of me, harshly bruising my skin, and breaking my bones. Gotta say, this stung like hell.

Acting quick, I tried turning my body into stone, though In my haste, I could only do so on my back. Nonetheless, this was more than enough to crack and chip her top teeth. The giantess gasped in pain. Soon, she lost her hold on me, and I fell.

I found myself landing back to my bed. I awakened promptly.