lucid

Random WILD

Last night, I realized something is going on. I started to rock on my bed. Just my dream body, ofc. The swing (or should I say it was motion from left side of the bed to the right side and back and forth, flat on the mattress) was getting wider and wider, and I picked up a nice momentum, when movement continued by itself. next thing I know I'm standing next to my bed, not in this room, but my childhood room, I think.

Don't remember how I got outside. But I'm standing on a rooftop of a skyscraper in a super modern city. I'm looking down and all around, no fear of height at all. I decide to climb up to the top of the tallest building. So i go through buildings, on the sidewalk. There are some new police recruits practicing climbing on the rope and doing some police actions. I get to the top, there are few more steps I need to take to stand on the highest point. The sun is setting and it's beautiful, I feel quite accomplished.


Few nights ago.
All I remember now is that I was in Iran.

Another night I was in Iceland. We landed there on our way from Europe to the west. Walking around the airport, stores, luggage, my brother, food...

EDIT
I just remembered this cool part about the lucid.
As I'm standing on the roof of this huge skyscraper, among other people milling around, there is a family with 2 year old boy. Sun suddenly shines through the clouds and everybody is so surprised and happy. I realize that in this future, there is no sun. Little boy gets down to the ground and is rolling around so happy to see the sun. I feel it's warmth on me.

Ctrl+F "lucid" if you just want to read that part, which is "round 3 of dreams"


Here are my dreams from the night of February 14 to 15, 2018. I had a very nice dream chain in the third round and other than that just some vivid or interesting dreams.





First round of dreams.
"Restaurant Job. "

I woke up after a few hours sleep like I usually do. I tried to think of any dreams, but they all seemed too blurry. I thought of maybe two or three things clearly, but needed to get up to use the bathroom. I laid back down, thinking I would remember whatever I remembered next time I woke up without writing it. Or that I would have a better chance of remembering if I laid back down and thought about it, instead of writing. Well, I only remembered one part from that, but its alright. I needed the sleep.

That part was that I was at a rectangular table in front of my old house, at the end of the driveway. And I was talking about circumcision trauma. I don't remember much else of that part.

There was also something at the end of my Nana's drive way with my Uncle. There was some kind of shelf or table we were standing around.

So then I fell back asleep and had a very eventful dream.

There was something about a google search saying to eat watermelon before bed to induce lucid, dreaming. I think there was some nutrient that the watermelon contained. I was thinking that will make the person need to pee a lot but maybe that's part of the goal of the technique. I might actually try this.

There was a part where I was in a gym. It was more detailed but now I only remember it vaguely.

Then I guess I was showering after the gym, and before I was showering, I was applying a lot of white lotion to my body. (Note to self #1*. ) I remember reaching a little farther than I could in waking life to my back and massaging my own back, thinking, wow, I should give myself a back massage more often. I was massaging my own back and shoulders. That could have been a dream sign because my arms would have to be an extra two feet long to reach that far! . Also, while doing this, I was thinking it didn't make as much sense to do this before I showered, since it would wash all the lotion off.

Then I was with a bunch of people at these tables near where I went to fifth grade. With people from grade school only closer to their current age. I must have gotten up and come back to see that my friend G F (male) was at one table and a woman I knew, maybe L K or K S, was at the other table. There was this thing where I had trouble deciding whether to sit with G F or the woman. I sat with the woman, thinking I could invite G F to sit with us and we could all sit together. But, for some reason I wanted to just sit with the woman, maybe to not have to compete with G F. G F came over after a while and was mad at me. I tried to explain myself and invited him to join us. He sat with us. I had left my hoodie at the table with G F, draped over a chair, so he wasn't expecting me to have sat somewhere else.

Then we were all working around this computer monitor but instead of being perpendicular to the ground, it was parallel. I call this horizontally mounted but it isn't the same word. We were all making a slide show, each of us using a small part of the computer screen, all sharing one monitor. I started to think the woman who was there might want an easier to use monitor, so I went to get one that I thought was in a nearby closet. I had my old Sony monitor in mind from waking life. On the way to the closet, I saw my friend R F, and we went in to look together. We didn't see a monitor, but the closet had these tall shelves each with four big black box fans. The box fans were blowing towards each other. R F said that it was much cooler in here, and gave a temperature reading. I thought of taking one of the fans, but he said we shouldn't because it needs to be this cool in here. I actually felt the temperature difference in the dream which was cool.

Without the monitor, and seemingly having forgotten all about the project we were working on at the table, R F and I went to see what the temperature was like near another wall.

On our way there, a woman who kind of reminded me of an art teacher from high school, Ms. T, asked for our help with a restaurant. She needed help serving the food or something. We followed her to where that was.

I walked up a big flight of stairs to the restaurant floor, and there was a square seating arrangement. I walked around and noticed a transgender person I may have noticed in a previous dream. I felt bad for looking at them too long and looked away. I felt a sense that this person had been in a previous dream that night, and decided if I saw them again, I would become lucidly aware, but did not see them again. I also saw R M and some other people from high school. I think the seating arrangement changed from a big square to everyone being at tables and I was taking peoples food requests. Then I went back down the stairs and I saw my friend S R and another younger guy who had a gangster vibe. The gangster vibe guy was mad at S R and he flung a tiny white piece of plastic that he had ripped off a plastic bag at S R. It was the size of a fingernail. At first, I thought it was a fingernail, but it turned out it was just plastic. It was maybe half an inch long, and a quarter inch of it got lodged into S R's skin, I think on his arm. I was looking at it like, wow, that really cut through his skin pretty deep. There was no blood but it kind of scared me. I forgot what they were fighting over.

So then I saw Ms. T and she asked me about where to deliver the food. I realized that while I had taken everyone's food requests, I had not identified what seats the food should go to. I tried to remember people by name or create some kind of seating chart in my mind but it was too late, the food was already made.

There was a guy dumping his plate over his head and behind his back. I saw this and caught his food on another dinner plate. I was amazed at how good of a save that was. Everything landed on the new plate just like it was on the previous plate. It was onion rings and some kind of cheese steak sandwich. The guy was upset because instead of the cheese being melted all over and into the rest of the sandwich, it was just melted to one side of the bun. I thought of putting his sandwich in the toaster to make the cheese melt more. I was kind of being apologetic about it and trying to help in whatever way I could.

I forgot if anything else happened in that part. I might have been thinking that I am not a "perfect Jesus".

I woke up and was thinking back through the dreams. There is a funny effect when this happens lately that if I drift back to sleep, I will dream of another scene and then think that was interjected back in the dream I previously had. I started to have another dream of a well known actor dressed as a knight outside of a movie theater. He kept multiplying so another of him would pop onto the screen from a different angle or doing something else. There was some kind of music playing I think as he did this. I think I noticed I had started dreaming again and remembered, wait, I am not done remembering the other dreams yet! Then I woke up.

I forgot some earlier stuff but I don't mind because I needed the sleep. It looks like I didn't write this D J entry until 1 in the morning so that's pretty good amount of sleep. I wake up a lot throughout the night naturally, usually after dreams, so i don't need any alarm clocks.








Second round of dreams.


This "round of dreams" contained a bunch of very eventful and long dreams but I just consider it one "round of dreams" because it was the dream activity between two dream journal entries.

I forgot some from the beginning but here is where my memory starts, and there are parts where I don't have a memory of what happened along the way.

I was in the room I lived in growing up at my Nana's house. I was looking through this childrens book full of really vivid artistic pictures of various types of dragons. I was flipping through the pages in reverse. I remember one grey whale dragon that as I reverse the pages seemed to disintegrate or fall apart. Like in one page its jaw was attached and in the next page its jaw had fallen off and was just showing red flesh. I know they were really cool looking but I can't really get a clear picture in my mind beyond that. The final dragon was actually a Transmetal 2 Megatron with dragon heads for his hands. I remember looking at this thinking it didn't seem to fit with the other dragons who looked more organic. Plus, I didn't think Megatron belong to whatever company made the other dragons. But then I was actually playing with the Transmetal 2 action figure of Megatron.

There was a part with my Mom and sister in the same location. They might have been making food or something. I don't remember as much of it. I think there was a part where my sister was telling me not to go into her dream. I was about to go to sleep. I was sleeping on the floor to the left of my Nana's bed. My Mom was sleeping in my Nana's bed and she looked down at me. I felt this wave of anger or hatred like she didn't want me there. Then I woke up and thought that part through so far.

I drifted off to sleep after remembering a good chunk about that dream and dreamed some more.

Where my memory of this dream starts, the theme of looking for some place to live continued. I was living with my friend R K. He had a room I was going to be able to stay in. His friend and friend's girlfriend were staying on one side of the room. They seemed to be saying good bye as I arrived. I felt a sense that I might want to give them some time to finish saying good bye, but didn't. While I was near this wire shelf, the guy's girlfriend came to give me a hug. I was feeling bad about myself and didn't want to hug her that much so we had a really distant or light hug before she left.

Then I might have gone out of the room and back in, or it just followed from that point. But I looked on my bed, which was a big king size bed. Only now, I T, a guy I went to grade school with, and 5 of his relatives, were all sitting on my bed. They were wearing some funny knit sweaters and hats that all matched. I T said, "What up" and then a nick name I had. I responded like, whoa, I T! Surprised to see him. It seemed they needed my bed more than I did, so I thought of where else I could sleep. maybe on a floor somewhere.

Then there was a woman whose job it was to clean the house. She was telling me something to do and I didn't want to let her ego "win". It seemed like it was becoming an ego battle between her and me and so I resisted her instructions. She was fed up and walked down the hall. This room was all taking place on the room on the left hand side of my Nana's house.

I also remember at one point, not sure if it was here or earlier, seeing my Nana's upstairs hall way. But I was saying to my sister, this hall way is bigger than our whole house! And it was a long hall way.

Some other parts may have happened between these parts that I forgot.

Then I went down some steps somewhere, near a dock and some water, feeling really worthless and bad about myself. No where to live, really down and out. There was this Asian fellow at the bottom of the steps who was dressed in somewhat of a funny way, maybe as a clown or a mime, but not exactly. He was praising me for something I had done way in the past. I tried to think of what it was, and concluded he either had me mistaken for someone else, or it was something in college, back when I was more active in my waking life. He looked me in the eyes in a way that was memorable. He was trying to come up with a way to repay me. It gave me a good boost because I felt very down and out at the time.

Just then, a woman in a white shirt, with brown hair, walked by, asking for help. She kept asking for help as she walked by us, but did not stop walking. I wanted to help her, but I also didn't want to leave the guy I was talking with, because I was going to find out this good deed I had done. The woman must have been on some kind of auto pilot because she walked straight for the dock and fell right into the water, sinking immediately. I decided that the guy would be there later, and went in the water to rescue her.

I ran to the dock and dived down into the water without much hesitation. A few other people did, too. The first time I came up for air, another guy dove into the water who looked like he would save her because he was in better shape. But I went back under the water after a big deep breath, thinking I might need to open my eyes to see underneath the murky green water. (In waking life, there is no way i would open my eyes under that water, much less swim in it!). I forgot what happened to the woman who had gone underwater, if she had been rescued after all, or what.

But I moved on from that scene and went back to the stair well to talk to the Asian fellow. To my dismay, he was nowhere to be found. I knew I shouldn't have left him.

Okay so I forgot some more parts, but then, there was a part when I was seeing a guy in a dorm playing video games. The story was that he was a woman's partner but he was being selfish.

Then, the "dream screen" showed me four women sitting together and eating donuts at a food court table. Another woman came by and the "dream screen" showed all this glitter going all over the place as she joined them. One woman at the head of the table had two donuts, and one was for this guy back in the dorm the dream screen has just showed me. She ways saying how she got an extra donut for him so as not to be selfish. The women went on talking. (Note to self #2*. )

Then the woman all the way to the right hand side, who had joined last, seemed to have her attention drawn to the side. The "dream screen" briefly showed all these pool floats at the end of a hallway leaning up against a rail. Then, it returned to showing the woman, looking concerned.

She got up to see what was over there in the directions she had been looking. Then, I was kind of seeing the dream from a first person perspective from her viewpoint, or just behind her, but I was more just watching from outside like on a "dream screen", not really in it as an active participant.

This next part got really nightmarish. The woman noticed that there was a photo booth with the door partly open, down some steps. I could hear her thinking, "Who is in there?" and she approached the reddish brown photo booth door to investigate. When she got close enough, the "dream screen" revealed some really creepy old guy in there. Before the woman could pull away, she got sucked in to the photo booth. It was really freaky because the man became a kind of spider and the dream showed the woman very vividly being tied up like in a spider web. She was screaming for help. I was glad she could yell for help because someone near by definitely heard her, and would come to her rescue. But the dream showed this pointy, sharp looking giant spider with a big stabber thing on its abdomen go to poke her, like how Shelob injected people in the Lord of the Rings series. It was really freaky and I don't know how that suddenly got in there.

I woke up from that, kind of startled, stayed still, and thought it through. I wondered if I was supposed to become lucid in another dream to go back and help her, but my dreams usually don't have that level of continuity, at least in terms of form. There is some continuity but it is not that direct.

At some point during that dream, or a later or earlier dream, there was this idea of these people who had some dogs. The dogs had a special place in their house, like a room that was just for them. I was reading some text which talked about the dogs being named "Burr", as in, the sound you make when it is cold. There was also another memorable word on the page which I forgot. So I just threw that detail in here because I forgot other parts.

As I was recalling those, I fell asleep again and had a shorter round of dreams! Luckily, my memory of them held up pretty well. I must have needed the rest because I even napped this morning for an hour.

There was one dream memory, not sure exactly where it fits, but I was in a grocery store aisle. There was a black gel pen section and I took one of the black gel pens out of the packaging to steal it. I had it in my pocket and was justifying my actions in my mind because of how many rotten apples the grocery store has sold me, that I haven't got a refund for. At least ten dollars I spent on apples that looked fine on the outside, but turned out to be rotten. Good thing I dice them before eating them because I would hate to bite into that, not knowing what it was like on the inside. (I have wondered about the symbolism of this. )

I was checking out some regular items at the register, worried that the gel pen somehow had some sensor attached to it, and they would detect me with it on the way out. I tried to tell myself that wasn't likely to have a sensor just on one pen. I also remember thinking someone might have seen me through a camera and they were waiting to "capture" me on the way out of the store. (I guess this is my dream reminding me that stealing isn't the way to go in terms of having justice about my rotten apples. )

Okay so then there were some more dream details. Kind of a scene of looking into the hatch back of this Subaru, near the woods on the side of the road. It was like a camp site. I was trying to write in one of the notches on the plastic flooring of the trunk. Some letters using a pen. Maybe trying to dream journal.

There was some idea of someone stealing another person's prompting? Like what they were going to say.

There was this yellow football headed thing with funny googly cartoon eyes. I was looking at it in the trunk as I overheard people talking.

I was peeing in a big orange jug in the middle of the parking lot, near a walk way, and another guy saw me doing this. I was afraid I would get in trouble. The idea was that the guy never lets anyone get away with anything. My friend's dad, J S, was involved in the dream scene.

There was this part where an older man was yelling at a younger man, "Are you a lawyer?!" and the younger man replied, "No, I will never be one," as if to say he should stay out of situations or something like that. While hearing this, I was ripping a little perforated edge off a piece of white paper to use it to write on. Maybe I was trying to dream journal.

There was also a part with a lucid, dreaming You Tuber showing a video of how to modify the wiring of a head set to get a certain two channel sound effect. It involed opening the head set, separating the two wires, and then bending it over itself with tape. It didn't make sense to me. Apparently it only worked temporarily but then it caused the head set to be broken.

Other dream notes included "something with a guys website" and "parked near nature".

This was a huge amount of dream memory to keep all in my head at once before coming to write it, but I was just too tired. When I finally do get up to write, it is when I feel I have the physical energy. Like when my body will let me. If I try to push it, and interrupt the natural sleep phases too much, it tends to back fire and I will burn out. So I do it this way to keep it sustainable. Also it gives me a few natural W B T B's a night without needing any alarm clocks. I think alarms are bad because they might come in at the wrong time of a sleep cycle. My sleep cycles are never this cookie cutter 90 minute thing. I am in the "anti alarm clock" party of the lucid, dreaming world.



Round 3 of dreams gave me a cool dream chain. That just means I woke up between dreams a few times in sleep paralysis, stayed still, and went directly into the next dream with lucid awareness. It usually happens if I get lucid in an early part of a dream, and wake up, and stay still.

I forgot parts of it, but overall my memory of it turned out to be pretty good. Where my memory begins, Megatron and Waspinator are on the "dream screen". Waspinator was in robot mode and flying around the beast wars world. Megatron was using one of those statis pods to teleport something to Waspinator.

There might have been a part with my sister. I was fighting with someone. maybe there was more beast wars battling, or I was a beast wars character. I am not sure if I was lucidly aware yet. I remember being maybe a foot tall, and riding this little motorcycle thing, or perhaps being in beast wars mode where they are part vehicle, part animal, and making a Bee Line for a closing wooden door. I thought I would make it, but the door closed just as i got to it. I was running away from something or someone. Somehow I got into that door or maybe another door. I had a sense of being chased. Now i was in a human body, with clothes on. I looked underneath a metal storage cabinet and thought my best bet to remain safe would be to morph into an ant, or something else small, and go under that cabinet. I think I morphed into an ant and had to crawl out of my human clothes to get away. I was in a little office, and the people chasing me had caught up with me. But I had already morphed. There was a woman who came in the little office room to look for me, and she started patting parts of me that were floating around. I realized I must have morphed into a plant. Somehow, she knew that I had morphed into a plant, and she had caught me as such. (note to self #3*. ) She tried to coax me out of plant form and at this point I am sure I knew it was a dream. I woke up for a moment before another dream began.

Okay so then the next part was of me sitting in front of a television. (Note to self #4*. ) I had a great success with ree cognizing a dream sign, which was that I had an extra finger growing from my body. At first, I thought, oh, cool, an extra finger. Then I realized it was a dream! I played around with stretching my body as if it were elastic because that's what I thought to do. Then, I remember a part in which there was like this kid and his Mom yelling at him from a ramp. She was getting spit everywhere as she yelled, which was getting onto him and maybe on an open wound.

There was also a part with the red eye. I felt a pain in my left eye. I knew I was dreaming, so I figured this related to some kind of physical condition. I wanted to ignore it at first, but I remembered that in lucid, dreaming I want to deal with my issues instead of running. So I looked in a mirror looked more closely. It had a lot of sharp pain. It was covered over with red scabs and all bruised and puffy. I almost couldn't believe it was my eye. I thought of using a little energy ball like I heard in the audio book I was listening to the previous day. I didn't really have enough coordination to do that. But I was able to ask the dream for help and as I looked in the mirror, my eye returned to normal.

(Commentary from when I woke up as to waking life effects of this. I was sleeping on my left side, so it could have been some pressure was on my left eye. Other than that, I have no existing left eye problems. Both my eyes in waking life have always been fine. But I do have a left ear problem from using ear plugs a really long time without taking them out (foam ear plugs). There is a sharp pain in my ear if I put the ear plug in too far. So maybe that pain was translating into the whole left side of my face in the dream, and I was able to address it from there, where as something in my ear wouldn't have been visible to me. I will keep an "eye out" for if I notice any decrease in symptoms of left ear pain. Other than that it could have just been more symbolic in a broader sense. But it felt significant. )

At one point I was hiding under a blanket from someone. I might have gone in and out of being lucidly aware.

Then the "dream screen" played an awkward scene between a mother and her son. There was an awkward silence, and then the mother made a fart joke. The son wasn't amused and seemed kind of annoyed by the whole thing.

Some other stuff was likely to have happened that I forgot.

I next remember a dream begin where I am looking at a guy's chest in a sweater. It looks like he is bench pressing. Then I realize he is rowing a row boat and I am sitting accross from him. We are facing each other in a row boat. The water comes to an end and we scrape up on shore. The shore is actually made of the same material the street is made of. I kind of worry the bottom of the boat will be ruined. Then we continue rowing down the street as if the road is water. We go down a hill like this and get to a parking garage thing or something like a food tent at a carnival. Then I see both rowers get out of the boat and I am neither of them.

I excitedly think to myself "this is a dream" as I approach the food table, trying to make sure to stay lucid. I almost tell two people near me it is a dream but I hold back. there is a plastic container of grey circles that doesn't seem like food. Some stuff happens and I am looking for something cool to do. I get the sense that there is this green juice that everyone really wants. In a near by fridge, behind a counter, I notice a bottle which has some of the juice in it. The label has the number sixty on it but besides that, I forget the name. I fly over to that fridge, reach accross the counter, and drink the last of the juice. It is very sweet. It feels very good to drink it. There is a younger kid who seems sad that I got the rest. I feel kind of bad for not thinking to share it with him. I was in a pleasure seeking mode for a lot of the rest of this dream. But I think even that is a beneficial use of lucid, dreaming, because I can get out my desires for physical gratification in the dream world, and not need to do it in waking life, where for example careless eating could make me very sick. Being able to enjoy dream food helps me stay on a healthy meal plan in waking life without needing to have "cheat days".

In the next fridge to the left, there is a flattened everything bagel. I grab it, expecting it to taste like card board, and it kind of does. It doesn't stay stuck in my mouth though like I expect. Then I see some plastic containers with fruit and a pastry thing, like a muffin. I eat those and it is delicious. As I eat the food, I am mindlessly flying around, like a drunken bumble bee. I can tell I am sort of "food drunk" or "sugar drunk" within the dream but I just try to let go of worry and enjoy the sensory experience.

There is a part where I have this drawing of a three or four headed guy on gray paper. It has three frowny faces and I relate this to why I am off to the side by myself and not in the main party enjoying other peoples company. So I swipe my finger over the frowns and they become smiles. Then I go back to the party tent thing.

(Note to self #4*. )

I forgot some parts where I was walking through buildings. I might have eaten more stuff or seen some giant Pokemon cards. Just different wish fulfillment I guess. I saw a sign that said A T M and figured, this sounds fun. I went in to that lobby and almost thought it wouldn't be anything, but it turned out to be a dream A T M.

The first thing I notice is a packet of ten dollar bills similar to how post it notes are stacked, sticking to the A T M. It says "ten ups" which I guess means a free ten dollar boost. I look around for buttons and it looks like there are calculator buttons on the A T M. I enter some numbers, thinking about four thousand dollars, and pretty the START button. A bunch of money pops out, mainly hundreds and twenties. There are also drawings on pieces of construction paper that come out, which are mainly blue and brown. These are equally interesting but I don't take the time to examine them. Maybe they are the real prize.

I grab the whole stack of ten ups, with little regard for anyone else in the dream world wanting them, and go out side into the street. It is dark out. I see a bunch of people I know from college. I ask them if they want the money. One kid, A B (male) says, "I want all of it!" I give a bunch to him and throw the rest around. (there were some times I considered stopping and counting the money but that seemed to take too much focus. )

Success story part. In one of the parts where I was flying around a lot of people I knew, I saw this web site where there were guys posting success stories about various things. I had been seeing people from college, and so I was thinking of posting my success story of how I talked to people from college in my dream. i was thinking of telling them in waking life how I was with them in a dream and that being a success story. The page has white back ground and blue hyperlinks.

In the final part of this dream, I am walking down the street or hall way. All along the sides are giant Pokemon cards. There is Machamp and other Pokemon. I feel totally amazed and happy. I am telling other dream figures how I always wanted these Pokemon cards! A lot of them really look like Pokemon cards in waking life. One is grey and silver and there might be a purplish Gengar one. I am so overwhelmed that I don't really know how to take it all in.

Around that part, I woke up, and thanks to my new sleeping position, I was able to stay perfectly still. It seemed like a minute went by before I thought to recall dreams, because I was kind of preparing for another dream to begin in the dream chain. When i realized it was over, I was like, oh, no, let's get to remembering it! Luckily, I was able to remember a lot, but I wonder what else I would have remembered if I would have had that recall begin as soon as the dream ended. Waking life recall meditation has helped me with that memory "muscle". If I can pull up one detail, others start to come up, and then I have a whole big "movie" of the dream in my head I can rehearse a few times until nothing else comes up as I do it.

At some points during the sleep paralysis between dreams in the dream chain, I heard some auditory hallucinations of female voices saying various things which I forgot. I also felt some of those vibrational state feelings which felt kind of like intense pulses of my whole body, but were probably in my non physical body. Then I would "pop" into another dream.

I am pretty happy with this lucid, dream chain. I probably am somewehere between "fully lucid" and "semi lucid" for most of it according to the lucidity spectrum in terms of having all these dream abilities and stuff. But I mainly just enjoy the "lucid euphoria" of being like, woah, I am in a dream! And doing stuff. That's good enough for me and I figure the higher levels of lucidity will come with experience and study over time.





Round 4 of dreams.

I managed to get back to sleep one more time after those, which is wonderful. I didn't seem to have as many dreams or remember as many but once I noticed I had slept I tried to think back through them and here's what I got.

I remember seeing "Maharishi University of Management" written somewhere. It was something to do with M U M and Lucid, Dreaming.

There was another scene I only vaguely remember, to do with my Nana's steps going up to the dining room.

The last scene I remember was I was driving this truck and listening to a voice recording of my own voice. I needed to go to the bathroom so I pulled into this parking lot near a convinience store. When I got out of my truck, I noticed I had parked over the edge of the spot, and kind of double parked into the spot ahead of that. There was a guy near the front of the convinience store I didn't really trust, and it seemed the lights were just turned off. The whole time, there was some angelic kind of music playing in the back ground. I realized I wasn't in a good neighborhood and went back to my truck, thinking I might just go pee in the parking lot between the trucks, hoping no one saw me.

There was something else in the dream involving being out at night without much lighting.

I thought through these dreams and drifted back to sleep a little. That's what I like about laying down and thinking through the dreams without moving instead of needing to spring up immediately once I have woken up. It usually works just as well, in terms of the quantity of details I remember, (if not better), but it is more restful.

1) A game was going on where we had to find something. There was a guy bothering me though. As soon as I got away I uncovered something and transformed into a character with a glittery yellow/bone white top hat/bunny ears, long staff and suit.

2) I recall a point where I became lucid and was looking around a alley but it didn't last long.

I was at a school with other people, can not remember what I was there for. I then found myself in my apartment and open my front door. Something felt very strange but I could not put my mind on what it was. That's when I hear a loud bang behind me. It sounded like it came from my room but I am the only one who lives in my apartment. I run out from room and saw the light from the other room in my apartment turned on and then turned off.

The strange thing is I don't have room lights for the room so there's no way it could have turned on. That's when I knew I was dreaming. Both of the door's slammed shut while I was outside at the living room. I look to my room and made an attempt to open the door but it would not open no matter how much I pulled on. I began to feel heavy and I began saying you are not going to do this to me.

That's when I felt a sharp pain at my stomach as I try to turn on the living room lights as they kept turning on and off. I fell to the floor and woke up feeling confuse.

Here are the dreams from the night of February 13 to 14. I had a lucid dream in the middle of it all and the rest were non lucid. Feb 13 was a really busy day, so I was probably more tired than usual throughout the night, which led to kind of deeper dreams in a way.


CTrl+F"lucid" if you want to skip to that part.





Round 1 of Dreams.

These dreams were really interesting. I don't remember even one clear detail but it was like I was remembering a bunch of dreams within that dream that I hadn't actually had. I was so tired from the day that I couldn't remember a thing from these.



Round 2 of Dreams.
"Eating Quarters" / "Chocolate Hands" / "Flamethrower Police. "

I think there were some earlier parts that I forgot. Where my memory of this dream starts, I was sitting around with some friends setting up for a meeting. I had my text book for the group and as I looked through it, a 20 dollar bill popped out. I was surprised to find it but the thought if it being a dream didn't occur to me. I asked the other group members whose it was. I was reassuring them that I am the treasurer of the group, and therefore, they could trust me with the money.

Next thing I remember is sitting at a table with some people including my friend S J from high school, who spoke very quietly. (I am going to switch to present tense and see how that goes. ) S J is telling us all how he remembered his first round of dreams, and they were very interesting. "Remembering the first round of dreams" has significance to me because I often see those as some of the most unlikely to remember, but can be very interesting. S J is at the head of the table and maybe I am too, and someone along the left is asking S J to speak louder.

Next scene I remember, I am in a room, feeling some apprehension. I have some art which I am attempting to hide. Built into my bed is a long rectangular box, as if a rectangular section is cut out of the bed, for the box to be put into, like it is a hiding place. At one point I am pouring some liquid into the bottom of this card board box. Then I am there with the Land Before Time Characters and we are cowering in fear behind some desks or dressers around the room. We are afraid there is someone or something coming to get us. A dog comes into the room but instead of being fearsome, it turns out to be very friendly and nurturing. We are no longer afraid.

In the same room there is a scene where I and/or some other people are using spray deodorant. My Dad and Uncle M are talking about some kind of party.

Next Scene. I am heading down the road past my high school, thinking of being on the way to some kind of club. (Note to self #1*. ) I am battling in my head with my Dad and Uncle about whether or not I should be going to this club, kind of like a partying bar kind of place. As I drive, I notice that some huge trees are laying accross the road in front of the school. One of the trees must be over 100 feet tall. Several workers are clearing all of the fallen trees as I drive through. Now, instead of driving, I am walking. I see some guys on blue skate board things with foot pedals so they can ride around on them while using saws or weed whackers to clear the debris.

I walk further on and reach a chain link fence. My friends R A and T S are by the chain link fence on their hover board things, clearing debris. I tell them their job looks like fun. As I walk through, people are saying I am so weird.

Now R A and T S are snapping a football to each other. I walk through the chain link fence.

Now I am walking by the barber shop in my town and the place I had my first job. It is kind of dark. Some women I know, including M B and other women, come out of the place I had my first job at, and I turn around before they can see me. As I walk the other way, another woman I know from High School is walking along the sidewalk. She has black hair and looks very pretty. I start to talk to her and she morphs between M and S F. I am asking her what it is like to live up in that apartment above the barber shop, where N C lived in waking life. There is a big bay window poking out of the apartment which isn't there in waking life. We are also talking about how it is sad so many trees are being destroyed. As this woman and I talk, the other women come from the direction of that restaurant and now we are all talking.

I have five hands, each with a different kind of chocolate in them. In each hand, the chocolate is un wrapped and melting. I am also eating quarters. They feel hard and metallic. M B asks to try some of the white chocolate in my left hand. She is also wondering why the chocolate is all unwrapped, and I feel embarassed. I try to explain that the chocolate comes out of my hands or something like that. Two quarters in one of my hands become four quarters. I am not really enjoying the sensation of eating the quarters but I continue eating them.

An Asian guy walks by with a bunch of coins and dumps them in the back seat of a car that is parked there. I think he is eating coins too. A police officer comes by and puts him in the back of the car. The police officer pours gasoline on him. All of the women and I are feeling fear because of the police brutality. We can't see anything the Asian guy did to provoke this. The police officer blasts the Asian guy with a flame thrower, and most of the flame does not seem to damage him. But his right hand looks all blackened and charred and it looks very painful.

Now the police officer has me on my back and is pouring gasoline out of a vaccuum kind of thing on my forehead and hair. I am feeling scared what it will feel like to be burned.

The location changes and we are in a study room within a library. The women are looking from outside the room as the police officer and I are in the room. The tides have turned and now it is me who has the flame thrower and gasoline. I am not intending to hurt the police officer, but I want him to stay in that room, I guess until some other authorities come to take him to prison or something. My Dad and Uncle M from earlier in the dream come and look through the glass window at me. I start to worry that they think I am the bad guy here, and I try to explain how I am not the bad guy. I have taken the police officer's flame thrower because he was using it to burn people and I am only keeping it from him so he doesn't harm any one else. I am still afraid they think I am holding everyone hostage.

There might have been more to these dreams but I don't remember. When I woke up from these dreams, I was in one of those streams of thought again. I noticed it sooner this time because I identified this phenomenon, and started to think what I had dreamed of. I had a good recall of these dreams.

I think my dream recall is boosted by how I am doing waking life recall. Throughout the day I lay down and close my eyes and try to pretend I have just woken up from a dream and now I am in bed. So I try to recall what has just happened as if I had just been dreaming. I think this is already strengthening my ability to "reach" for dream details and use my memory.















Round 3 of Dreams.
"Establish Lucidity LD" / "Flying and telekinesis LD" / "Pain management technique. "

(I will go back to past tense for writing the dreams for now since it comes more naturally. )

The first thing I remember from this round of dreams was that I was looking at a box for a black massage table that could put the body at various angles. I have always wanted something like that for sleeping on my front, and I thought I had finally found it. There was a really comfortable part for my face. I was thinking I need to put that in my room for me to sleep on. (Note to self #2*. )

In the next part I remember, there is a guy talking about some pain he is having. The "dream screen" is showing how he does mental exercises to help alleviate his pain. The mental exercises involve single consonant sounds, colors and memory exercises. The guy is also saying how drugs are good, and I am wondering how he can afford so many drugs and keep using them to self medicate without anyone finding out. (I don't use drugs myself and I don't recommend anyone use drugs, this was just a dream figure. )

The next thing I remember, there was an Asian baby who the dream told me to follow. He was some sort of guide. So I am following this Asian baby through this blue maze or crawl space kind of thing which is above the main floor. As the Asian baby leads me along, he is picking up brown rice off the blue surfaces and eating it. We reach a point where it seems I am going to get stuck, as it gets very diagonal and narrow, but I trust the dream guide baby and follow along. Right as I think I am going to get stuck, the whole blue zone opens up. For some reason I wake myself up. (I don't think I was lucid, but I think I decided to wake up or something, not sure exactly what happened. )

I laid still and thought through those parts, and fell back to sleep.

In the next dream, I am in a kitchen, hiding some dirty cloths. I am wiping some messes up from the floor and the stove. It is not a house I have been in before in waking life, but maybe I have been there in a previous dream. In this dream, I think I was the only one home. There may have been some food in the fridge I was thinking about. There was more to this part but I only remembered it vaguely.

Now here is where I become lucidly aware I am dreaming. I am cleaning in a bathroom. I have a plastic bag like a clear produce bag, full of other plastic bags, like what I bring to the grocery store to get produce. I am trying to put it in the top drawer by the sink. There is something else in the bag, too. The drawers keep opening on their own, and I am afraid if I leave the bag poking out like that, people will throw garbage into it. I feel a lot of anxiety about this and try to get the drawers to close, including trying to slide the content of the drawers to the back, but they keep opening up.

I am not wearing any clothes in the bathroom. I hear my Mom come up the stairs to the room in front of the bathroom and I am afraid she will see my bottom. When i turn around, one door is open, but another is closed, so no one can see into the bathroom. That door seems to have appeared without having been there before.

I am looking in a giant mirror that takes up a whole wall and I notice a dream sign. It seems like waking life, and I explain to myself how this is possible in waking life. Then, I think to myself, maybe I am dreaming. I almost don't want to be dreaming! I go to do a finger palm test, completely expecting for it to not go through and for me to be in the physical world. Then I see the finger poking through on the other side of my left palm. I am somewhat dissappointed it is a dream! I continue to enjoy the dream sign anyway. (Note to self #3*. )

Eventually I lose interest in that and now I am lucidly aware it is a dream, there in the same bathroom. I can't think of anything to do. I try to come up with something cool to do since it seems like one of those L D's where there is nothing already going on within the dream. (Note to self #4*. )

I think of going to outer space, but I don't feel confident that I would succeed at that right now. There is a window I could fly out of, but I don't want to fly right now. I pretty much think if I try anything like that, I will wake up due to instability.

The thought "establish lucidity" comes into my mind. I do more finger palm tests, rub my hands a bit, and spin around with my eyes closed. While doing all this, I am kind of afraid that it will make me wake up, too. the dream continues though and I do some nose pinched breathing, with two breaths in and out fully. With my dream eyes closed, I see this very vivid, almost neon looking image of a stool. (I wonder if I could have used this to sort of create a new dream within that dream but I was afraid it would make me wake up so I opened my dream eyes again. ) With my dreams eyes open again, I see one of the walls is missing from the bath room. I see a bunch of people in the next room past the bathroom.

I see a woman I know who is kind of like G D. I think she wants me to talk to her, but it is like I can't decide to really do anything. I see a glass window on the next door up ahead, and my first move is to fly straight into it. I think I will go through it, and maybe impress everyone, but I just collide with it, making a noise. As I do this, two girls and their mom or an older woman are leaving, heading down four to six flights of stairs. I decide next that I will race them down, so I dive headfirst down the stair well, flying down and controlling my flight. They are impressed when they meet me at the bottom of the stairs. I open the front door telekinetically and we all walk out. There is a fence ahead with a closed gate. I fly over it while opening it with telekinesis for the other dream figures. I also notice some white screws and bolts on the ground near the fence, which I try to lift to myself with telekinesis. I am able to successfully make one come to me but the other stay put. I don't feel in total control but I am going pretty well and I know it is a dream.

I may have forgot the very end of that L D if there was anything else. I kind of think I didn't really get to do the coolest stuff in the world, but I had some fun. Any L D is good practice. Actually, remembering to try to "establish lucidity" was great progress, and I should focus on progress I did make rather than what I didn't do. My stabilization efforts resulted in a longer dream and if I would remember to do another round of that every few minutes, I might be able to go further in exploring an L D. Also, it is my second time trying to nose pinch breathe, and I like it. It feels good to breathe in a dream and it kind of reminds me of meditating, since I am focusing on my breathing. Also, I flew and did telekinesis! That is pretty cool for cryin' out loud.













Round 4 of Dreams.
"Baby Guide" / "Nice Hug" / "teeth exposed" / "dad is a car" / "Rock music contest. "

My memory of these dreams started with me in a market place. There was more stuff before this but the first thing I remember is walking around some shelves in a market place looking at various types of oil. I am talking to a woman near by about the oil. There is a big bottle of coconut oil and another kid. We are sampling some of the oil. The shelf is about shoulder height.

In another part, there are two dogs both out for a walk. They go near each other and play nicely. This is also a vague memory.

Now the memories get a little clearer. I am at some guy's house, in his room. He has bunk beds. He has assigned me to watch something on a big television. The picture on the television looks very 3 dimensional. I also notice a bright computer screen to the left of it. I worry that the screen is too bright and I search for and put on my orange glasses. I don't really remember everything about this but it was like I was working for the guy or he was mentoring me.

In the next scene, I am in a bigger room outside his room. He his rubbing peanut butter or some other type of food spread on a cat's bottom, which makes a mouse go bite the cat's bottom. Then, the cat bites the mouse. I am watching this, thinking it is very cruel, because the mouse might have otherwise not been in harms way. The guys wife is around the scenario. In the context of this dream, my friendship with this guy is very stagnant, but I am not willing to really put more energy into it. It is sort of something I am taking for granted. I dimly want to put some more enthusiasm into it, but I don't feel I can muster it. The guy invites me to sleep over his house, seemingly as a way to be better friends. I felt like I just couldn't handle moving forward in our friendship but I was just feeling stuck. He was standing to my right when he said this. (I remember feeling this way with a girl I was dating in college, just emotionally frozen. )

Next there is a part with some ramps. My friends J D and J V and others are there. Maybe some young kids or some people that remind me of my Jamaican friend. A lot of this part is vague but in the dream I think it was eventful.

My friend J V (female) is already with another guy but she has a baby she wants me to hold. She is saying that I should listen to the baby and it will be good for me. I carry the baby around and in one part of the dream it is feeding me pickles from a jar of pickles. I worry that the pickles contain too much sugar or salt and they don't fit my dietary restrictions.

Later in this scene, I am with J V, the baby, and some other people, watching a movie of some kind of surgery on a projector. I am not sure if it was circumcision or something else gorey. I was feeling really squeamish and I just couldn't handle watching this. I admitted to them that it was too much for me and I couldn't finish watching it. I felt admitting this took a lot of courage and might have helped other people feel comfortable admitting that they, too, needed a break from watching all this violence. I left the group.

Next there was something where I was taking a disability test. There was this container of blue vitamin liquid that an older man was giving me and one or two other people. I was walking through two shelves thinking I should have asked for the full dose since when he poured me mine, I could tell it was less than what he gave the other guys, and I pulled my cup away early for some reason.

I was trying to put on two button down shirts at once. The bottom shirt was a short sleeve plaid one with various reds and blues that has a cool zipper on the shirt pocket. The shirt I was putting on top was a long sleeve button down shirt, but I forgot which one. I realized this might be too many shirts and decided to take them off instead, in order to put on a coat without being overheated on the bus. Then I was getting on a bus.

In the next part of the dream, I was in a place like a mall, and there were women around. I was surprised to see a woman from high school, M E, (those are her initials), and it seemed there were two of her. When I looked from her to the other copy of her, I wondered who the first woman I had looked at was, but I think they were both M E. She looked pretty and I remembered she used to seem to like me. I hugged the copy of her that was closer to me, and it was a nice hug. I was sort of rubbing the sides of her arms or torso. We were happy to see each other. I realized I wasn't wearing my retainer and dental bridge which has my false teeth on it. (I have two missing teeth in the front of my mouth). As I talked to her, she seemed to be looking at my teeth. She asked me, "what, are those colored or something?" and I explained to her that i was missing those front two lateral incizors. I felt kind of embarassed and I tried to talk with my upper lip over my front teeth like I do when i am trying to hide my missing teeth. Suddenly her teeth morphed before my eyes and they had some gaps too. So then we were smiling at each other. I forgot what else happened but I guess I was happy not to be totally rejected, as I usually expect to be. (Commentary: This part of the dream brings up strong emotions since I think my missing teeth hold me back in a lot of ways in life, but I can't afford the surgery. So I don't think I can really date or even be very social due to my missing teeth. I guess the dream wanted me to see this, and although it was some comfort that perhaps I could be in a relationship with someone with dental problems, too, I would rather get my teeth fixed and then be in a relationship with someone with "normal" teeth too. )

In the next part of this dream I am with my dad, mom and sister. There was something about eating a meal together. My Dad was tired and stressed because he was having difficulty providing for the family.

There was this part with this yellow leaf thing that was supposed to wrap around something. It opened up on one side to go around the thing, whatever it was, and on the back was a flap made of leaf that I noticed was more yellow than the other side. I was trying to explain to my Dad how the leaf thing has to be wrapped around the other thing but he didn't seem to agree. He was telling me how his Dad was just a car to him. Even in the family photo, instead of showing a picture of his Dad, it showed a picture of a car. I wanted to say that this was not the correct paternal relationship but I was afraid to actually say that.

Then I was walking at a local nature trail I go to often in waking life. I was carrying one of my house plants and lots of soil kept falling out. I didn't really understand how because the drainage hole wasn't that big in the planter. I was walking towards the gazebo. When I arrived at the chair I was going to put the planter on, I turned around to collect all the soil that had fallen out. I was worried that someone would take the plant while I was walking back through the trail collecting the fallen soil.

At this point I think I woke up on my front and my head was twisted all the way to the side which I usually try to avoid. Then once I adjusted I fell asleep really soon after that. The weird thing was, I woke up positioned on my left side more, with my neck straighter, but I didn't see how I could have even been laying flat given how the pillows were situated. Maybe I dreamed about being in that sleeping position.

In the next scene, a lucid, dreaming author, who I have been listening to a lot of pod casts by and just got 2 of his audio books, was writing for some kind of contest where he was talking about his future goals with lucid, dreaming. I was seeing the writing from the first person and I noticed the screen didn't have any blue light filter. It seemed he was struggling to think of anything or feeling discouraged. Some words appeared on the screen but I forgot what they were.

This part of the dream kind of became a rock song contest. There were two rock singer voices collaborating in a song together which I thought was cool. it seemed like one contestant had asked the other contestant to be part of his song. There was this box with an exclamation mark on it in the corner, like a darker purple box and a yellower exclamation mark, but the whole room was dark, so it is hard to tell. There was something about drug addictions. The judge of the contest was talking about drug addictions. This part of the dream was more surreal and hard to describe. That was all I remembered.









Round 5 of dreams.
"Mom heading home" / "Blue ear plugs on Jungle Gym. "

These dreams were about 2 hours of dozing, sleeping and dreaming. I woke up a little while I thought through some of them and then let myself fall back asleep and dream more.

I think I fell back to sleep and lost some memories here.

In the beginning, I was with my friends M R and N H and we were in a food court at the mall. I remember getting something like fries at McDonald's and some other food at another place. I was low on money. I might have toggled to being an employee there. There was someone saying it was unhealthy. This part is really vague.

One part I remember very clearly felt clear as waking life. But it was very simple. I had the dining room chair positioned with some legs off the carpet and some legs on the carpet. I was doing body weight step ups from that range of motion but as I did them, I noticed that the chair was uneven. So I moved it but then one of my feet was stepping on the carpet while one was stepping off. I couldn't get it to line up right. It was somewhat light out, like it would be during early morning hours as the sun is rising, but on a cloudier morning. The front windows to the dining room had the curtains open. For some reason that very simple part of the dream had a very solid feel to it.

Okay so then I was in some kind of a school yard. I was on a jungle gym and there was a blue ear plug on the ground. I had another blue ear plug in my hand. There was something about how people with blue ear plugs were weird or something. But I was like, these aren't even mine, I am just here at the same time as they are. Don't think I am weird.

Then I was in a bathroom and still had the blue ear plugs. I had a tupperware of urine in the sink with the lid on it. It was my more cube shaped tupperware. I was trying to hide it under some soap water or a towel and I was taking a bath. Then two other people wanted to use the bath. I said I will go but just let me dry off and everything. (Note to self #5*. ) The bath became a bed behind me. I remember this one part where I sort of fell out of the bath and fell in slow motion towards the floor. I didn't know it was a dream. As I fell, I fixed my gaze on this orange straw with pink lines on it, like a D and D or seven eleven straw. I remember gazing at it, thinking it would appear in a dream due to the emotions I was feeling in that moment becoming attached to or associated with it. Little did I know I was already in a dream. But I do that more and more now, if I feel a strong emotion, I will notice an object I am looking at and sort of create an association between those feelings and that object. Then in a dream I might notice the object and it could be kind of a dream sign. Funny I was doing that when I was already in a dream.

There was a little plastic bin of styluses on the floor. I was trying to put a pen cap on the stylus. I wanted to write, so I took one of the styluses and tried to write on the floor tiles of the bath room. I was writing accross four floor tiles, then beneath the first, on the next tile down, about how it is hard to have to make choices. I remember seeing that it was more etching it into the floor than putting ink on top of the existing floor. I was thinking I will never make it as a writer. In the box I was looking for pen caps to put on the styluses.

In the next scene, I was walking up a road from the water's edge, and I had long hair. I was brushing it and kept getting the brush jammed at the very end. (note to self #6*. ) It turned out there was this weird metal pen cap stuck in my hair that seemed to appear there out of no where. But it was a pen cap similar to the ones in the previous scene. My hair was all clumped up in it and I started trying to pull it out, but it was ripping my hair. Eventually I got all my hair out but was afraid it would be moldy from being in there. It turned out it was fine. It was silver with a blue end. I think I just tossed it on the ground and kept walking.

Then I was walking down the road more and saw my Mom's old white car in a semi circle drive way of a single story white house. It was my Uncle R's house because of the smoking. Another older white car appeared behind hers, with orange or red tinted windows, and then I actually saw her come outside to leave. It was good timing because in the context of the dream, she was just about to drive all the way up state to go home.

In waking life my Mom doesn't smoke cigarettes but in the dream she had a cigarette in her left hand. It looked like it had been partially smoked, and had ash on one end, but it wasn't actually burning at the moment, like she had put it out and was saving it for later. She was packing the car. She said "thank G O D for this cigarette." I hate cigarettes and I figured she picked up some cigarettes while staying at my Uncles. But I told her that the cigarette was not a think to "thank G O D" for and tried to discourage her from smoking any more. She hadn't picked up the habit long ago and it would be easier to break it now than later. I felt angry just to see the cigarette but when I realized I couldn't smell it, I didn't totally flip out. My Mom was telling me she was so numb and I knew it was from being active in that cigarette addiction again.

Then the car transformed into a pick up truck with some mean guys driving it and it nearly ran me over. It was like a red truck and it almost didn't have a wind shield, the way the view of the guys looked through it.

I woke up and tried to think all of that through. It took a few minutes to even come up with a single detail, but from there, a whole bunch of the dream flowed back into my mind.

That's all my dreams. Man, it takes a long time to write all this some days, but I would rather remember too much than remember less. I wonder if I will ever have so much dream recall that it will take 8 hours a day to write.

I know it is a lot of writing, just not sure how to write any less, as it is all the dream details I can remember with really minimal explanation or analysis. If you want to skip to the lucid parts just Ctrl+F Lucid. Also there was a cool Pokemon part if you want to skip ahead to that.



Here are my dreams from the night of February 12 to the thirteemph. I had a nap on my back around 2 and then fell asleep pretty easily around 7 P M after doing my waking life recall stuff. Also I have been doing some other memory exercises when I "meditate" to help my dream recall go further too.






First round of dreams.
"Space ship battle / Fear of night / Helping clean up from party. "

There may have been some earlier parts with eating at a table with some people I knew, including G. and perhaps my mom and sister.

I forgot some of this round of dreams, but I will start with the space ship battle. I remember flying in some kind of space ship or boat thing above a big body of water, in some kind of battle with other such space ships or boats. It was day time in the dream. Some how I felt that the space ship I was using was not mine. I don't remember anything else of this except kind of feeling some fear that I would be defeated and crash into the water or get hurt. Maybe I was blasting at someone else or they were blasting at me. There was an island somewhere in the part of the body of water we were flying over. I was seeing the space ships more from the outside than from a pilot position in the ship but I identified personally with one of the ships.

In the next scene I remember, I was in this room with some kind of checkout or deli counter. I had this big bag of cheese puffs that someone had given me as a gift, but I didn't really want, because they aren't healthy in waking life. There were two heavy set African American guys, one of whom had this kind of black scarf on around his face. They were apparently police officers or some kind of good samaritans. I made a joke saying to the one guy that he was such a bad person, the humor of which coming from being based on the fact that he is actually a very good person and never gets in trouble. His face kind of lit up in a laugh. I felt bad about that joke upon awakening since it was kind of a put down in some ways, which I try not to do. Then towards a corner of some counter tops, I was giving the bag of cheesey puffs away to my friend Patrick. I was afraid for anyone to see me giving them away because I felt like whoever gave them to me was right nearby and would be offended. The bag of cheese puffs seemed to shrink in size as I gave it to Patrick.


Then, we were looking at those brown coffee stirrers or thin straws, and then a thicker black straw. There was something about combining them by sliding the brown little straw through the big black straw, but the big black straw had an extra tube in the middle just wide enough to slide the brown straw through? It caused a knot to form toward the end of the straw and it wouldn't work. I remember thinking of that straw as I walked down the road to the Arboretum where I live, in the day time, seeing a metal chain link fence. Maybe that was a kind of transition but is more a vague memory.

There may have been something with a lawn mower in the way beginning of the dream so I wrote "lawn mower" just to be thorough.

In another part, I was in a house kind of like the one I live in now. By the back sliding door, there was a glow coming through, but it was night time. I had to slide the door shut an extra time because I was afraid of things of the night. My other family members were sleeping safe upstairs but I had to sleep down near the door for some reason.

Within that scene there was also a part where I was seeing someone on their computer late at night. The dream told me to have compassion for someone who stays up late on the computer or T V because they do it out of fear of the night. It was my friend Tucker who the dream was showing me.

In the next scene, a guy was making a microwave full of chicken or soup or something like that. It was kind of like Speed Cooking where he had actually filled the whole microwave with stuff and cooked directly in the microwave, instead of using a dish. I forgot some parts of this but it was kind of a late night party and the guy was very hungry. He said he would clean the microwave after he ate. I felt helpful so I decided to clean it myself. We were worried it was broken because a white circular part from along one of the sides had come off.

In another part, my friend Lauren was there, and she was showing me this video thing of two numbers in rectangles, 3 and 5. One was in a red rectangle, the other another color. They kept bumping into each other like Venn Diagrams. Lauren was very upset because the number 3 kept oscillating between being a 3 or being an 8. As I watched, I could feel how upset she was, and I was thinking of responses in my head such as advice or reassurance. Then, I remembered all this stuff I learned about listening to others but not trying to rescue or "fix" them or change how they feel, which is supposed to be healthier. So I just said, "Thanks for sharing that with me," in a compassionate way, but felt it wasn't quite enough of a reply for how upset she was, as if it seemed cold.

In another part, a woman was outside the back slider door. I heard her calling me and went out to meet her. She was probably 4 to 5 feet tall. She jumped up and gave me a big hug. I responded by holding her in the air with a big bear hug for a while. It was a very positive and nurturing feeling. I remember the woman had dark hair and may have been wearing a hoodie but not much else.

Then in another part, people were throwing fruit at these plain muffin things to make the fruit stick to the top. They were trying with various fruit, strawberries, cherries, raspberries, stuff like that. A woman I know had a big red berry which was understood as a raspberry, and she tossed it at the muffin thing on the little living room table. It missed and bounced off. My Aunt was in this part and maybe a woman who used to live near me.

Apparently this whole scene was a late night party I was at. My friend's Mom was needing help with all the mess, and instead of just going home after the party like everyone else, I wanted to go "above and beyond" and help clean everything up. I could also tell my friend's mom was a little overwhelmed so i wanted to sort of support her emotionally. I was walking home along that road to the Arboretum again (in the day time again?) wondering if I had helped enough.

Then there was a part where I was in a bath tub putting soap on my legs and arms. I was reflecting on how helpful of a person I was. Kind of proud of myself or pleased with myself.






Round 2 of Dreams.
"Magnemite Squid / Scrub Mummy / Toilets should be Yellow"

I woke up from one set of dreams and thought through the dreams, but felt a bit tingly and sleep must have come again before I knew it. I still remembered some of the first cycle of dreams, and I remembered the dreams in the second cycle of sleep very well.

One of the earliest things I remember was looking at the breeze way doors of my old house and thinking they were very "solid" for it being a dream. What I meant by this was that I felt I had been to this location in the dream a few times already and every time, the doors were in the same place, open if I had left them open, closed if I had left them closed. The doors were bent though like a triangle. I remember playing with the door handle. The thing about this is, I don't have a sense that I was actually lucid in the dreams. When I was initially recalling this dream, I remember wondering if there were lucid parts, but I couldn't think of any lucid parts. So it could have been a lucid thought but I was having a non lucid dream of having a lucid thought?

towards the end of this dream I was walking my sister somewhere for the second time at night. She came to my room to get me so i could walk her there. i kind of wanted to sleep but she needed me to walk or drive her there.

I was going to change into blue jeans, of which I had a pair in a cabinet or shelf. I was taking a moment to use the rest room for a number two, and squatting down. We were at my previous house, but the bathroom was where the teal room used to be. I was thinking that toilets should not be white because that accentuates any yellow or brown stuff that gets on them. Toilets should be yellow or brown because then they won't look dirty with number 1 or number 2 in them. Those were my thoughts within the dream.

At the end of the dream, I was laying down, and saw someone I knew. (Note to self #1*. ) Then, I woke up in my physical bed.

Like I said, I laid there thinking about the dreams, but felt sleep paralysis come back to my limbs and was asleep before I knew it. I remember remembering parts during that period of time between dreaming, but I don't remember what it was I remembered! .

In the next dream or series of dreams, I was reading from a text book. On the upper right hand corner, there was some wording that seemed un needed, so I was editing the text right there in the text book somehow. It was something like the word "Guard" but I don't remember exactly. I do remember the text seemed pretty solid, not to keep morphing on me. There was some fan running really loud, or other back ground noise, and I sang a line from a rock song in a high pitched rock star voice. A guy was like, wow, that was cool, and the noise went off, and he wanted me to do it again. But I didn't want anyone to hear me with the back ground noise off. I think I sung it again any way but felt silly.

Then a woman was reading from another copy of the text, maybe my sister, and there was another buzzing or beeping noise in the back ground. The guy said to shut up and I was like, how dare he tell my sister to shut up! But then I realized he was saying shut up to the back ground noise, not to my sister, and I felt better. I tried to make sure my sister knew he was not telling her to shut up, but instead he was telling the noise to shut up.

Then, it was my turn to read the text book, as if we were going around in a circle, taking turns reading. I wanted to hide the fact that I had modified the text book, but I had no copy of the original text by now, so I was faced with a conundrum of what to do. My section to read turned out to be the one I had just been editing.

I don't remember what happened next in that part or how it got from there to here.

I was in a room with people my age playing guitar. It was some people from my high school. Some music kind of like Andy McKee came on, and my friend was sitting in a wooden booth table, playing along with it. He was saying how he was going to be away for one year, and he was going into a room in the corner to talk with someone about it. I felt left out. Then he told me I could come along and listen, too, but then I felt bad that my friend Richie hadn't been invited. I kind of looked at my friend Richie who may or may not have realized he was left out. I had two tupperware cups with red lids and some kind of black cola type of soda in them, and my usual water bottle. I was going to carry them all to that room but it seemed like a lot.

The next parts of the dream were a little more surreal.

I was playing a Pokemon game, which was probably from listening to Pokemon Route music before going to bed. I had some generation one starters who I was going to "level grind". I saw some interesting pictures of the starters from red, blue and green, and I think that was how they got into my dream. I had a grass type, maybe venusaur, i was about to give two hold items to. Then i was like, wait, two hold items? I didn't give the Pokemon the items because I didn't want to lose them if the Pokemon fainted. (Different game mechanics. ) I walked from this one part off to the right side of the map where there was tall grass. I walked into the tall grass, seeing myself from above, like in the game, but then decided to press start and open the start menu. I took a few steps as the start menu was opening and a battle began. I tried to open the start menu as the battle was beginning but it wouldn't work. The game was telling me that a wild Jolteon and Magnemite had appeared, and I was prompted to choose which ability my Charmander would use. I forgot who my other Pokemon was, but Charmander was on the left, accross from magnemite, and my other Pokemon was accross from Jolteon. One of Charmanders abilities was called Magnetism, which meant that if a steel or electric Pokemon attacked him, he could attack again right after, even in the same turn. There were rectangular menus like in the game boy games. What the game called "Magnemite" turned out to be a squid type of thing, and this made me kind of do a double take. I could also see another Pokemon way off to the right of the map, as if it were in the battle too, but just from afar. So my Charmander attacked the "Magnemite Squid" and then the Magnemite Squid attacked my Charmander. I felt scared that my Charmander would lose the battle. Actually since the beginning of the battle I was afraid I would lose because I only had one leveled up Pokemon and the rest were there for E X P Share, so I was not prepared for a double battle. But, Charmander was able to attack Magnemite for a second time with its ability, and Magnemite was knocked out. I forgot the rest of that part.

From the same map, it kind of transitioned more to the right and I was in some kind of Spongebob town. This part seemed like a very sort of blurry or foggy dream, not so solid like the others, but still vivid in a way. There was this guy we were calling a scrub which was actually more like one of the towns people of Bikini Bottom in Sponge Bob, the fish people with the big lips. We had done something like blown its face off and killed it because it was this scary monster called a Scrub. This was from its front door while it was in its house? Then we turned around and behind us was this mummy thing. I think it happened twice. We were telling the mummy thing that we killed the "Scrub" but it was saying that "Scrub" is me! So it went inside its house and we were talking to it some more or something. It was at a sink to the right and its bed had pink blankets, right in front of the front door.

Then, a wall of white text on a black back ground appeared. I was reading it and it seemed to contain all of my dreams, fully written already. I was amazed because it seemed to contain some dreams I forgot, so I was thinking this "script" of my dreams already existed somewhere, and I could do as much dream recall as I wanted on my own, but I would always have the "full script" of my dreams to compare it to. There was some mention of Mario which I did not dream about. I thought I was already awake.

Then i woke up physically and realized I had just had more dreams. They came to my mind without much difficulty, and then I thought through the previous dreams I had fallen back asleep before writing, recovering some of those memories, too.

I think I forgot a part before the Pokemon scene but not sure.





Round 3 of dreams.
"Indoor Baseball" / "Lucid without control. "

The first thing I remember is driving in a car with Will Ferrell and some other guy. They were doing some Lonely Island kind of rap, like one of those gangster raps but with the silly lyrics. I remember a part where I was driving a car, and it was hot outside. I put the air conditioner on, but had the windows wide open, and it still cooled down the car a lot. I was kind of worried that this was wasting energy. Will Ferrell was wearing a blue suit and he was to my left. It had blue and light blue on the suit.

Then my Dad and my two Uncles who live nearby were all at my house and so was my sister. Everyone was drinking alcohol. We were then standing or sitting all facing the corner of this room which was ten square feet of space at the most. But we were going to play baseball. The bases were maybe each 5 to 8 feet apart. My Uncle was up to bat and I was wondering where he was going to hit the ball to. One door was open to his left, but I doubted he could aim the ball to get out through that door. So I was imagining that the ball was going to smash a window or make a huge dent in the wall. My Dad seemed to be okay with it though, like he would patch up the hole before our lease was up. I don't remember if anyone actually pitched or hit the ball, but I just remember feeling nervous. I was next up to bat. It might have been a competition between me and my uncle. Actually I wrote that I missed the baseball so maybe I was up to bat and missed the ball. I was thinking that if I did hit the ball, I would just do a "bunt" and then walk the bases, so I didn't damage anything.

I walked around the side of the stairs and saw a silver and light brown spider walking accross the floor. It had a gigantic abdomen. It reminded me of this hair ball that's been on our stair case for a while now that every time I see it, I think it is a spider. So in the dream, I looked, did a double take, saw if it was a hair ball, but then, it turned out it was a spider! I just let it carry on with its walk, but I kind of wondered if it would creep up and crawl on me one day.

So then I was at the counter drinking from a glass of yellowy beer. I drank like the first three quarters of it, and then I noticed I was thinking I felt like a different person. Then I noticed on a deeper level that it was more psychological. Really, I was always this person, but it was just that I trained myself to only let it out when I drank? So then I stopped drinking because I realized I don't need alcohol for me to be who I want to be. (I haven't had a drink since 2/1/2014. ) My sister was in that scene and also drinking alcohol.

I don't know if anything else happened, but I woke up from all those, and thought through it. Then I fell back asleep.

In the next dream I was sharing a room with my friend Ryan. I only remember it vaguely, but he was saying that I stay in too much. There was a big rectangular hamper and I was pouring urine on top of my clothes thinking I would be washing them soon anyway. I had some misgivings about pouring the urine on there but decided to go ahead and pour it in. I was working on some writing, maybe a dream journal entry, but I don't remember that.

There was also something about something at a beach. maybe with kites or walking along the shore, but I don't remember anything else about it clearly.

Okay so then there was something on the rooftop of a brick building. And it was like one of those dreams where I am seeing it from the outside, like watching a T V show sort of. Somehow I noticed that this was a dream. Spongebob was on the show and there were some other graphics that were kind of exciting. While watching this, I realized I was lucidly aware, but had no sense of being able to control anything within the "dream screen". But I felt very happy because the "dream show" was giving me good vibes. So I thought of those cat videos I saw where the cat is sort of twitching in its sleep, as if it is dreaming. From within the dream, I imagined twitching my physical body this way and having a big bright smile on my physical face as it slept. I felt my body do this but it may have been a non physical body rather than a physical body. Something scary might have happened at some point like a dragon came on the screen. I couldn't remember a lot of the images from that part but I just remembered brick building roof top, sponge bob and maybe patrick star.

I woke up from that and thought through all those dreams some more, first the most recent, then going back over the previous round to be sure I hadn't lost them.

As I did that, I fell back to sleep and dreamed more about the Lonely island rap I had already dreamed about. Sometimes that happens to me because I am thinking about a dream memory with so much concentration and focus, in order to remember it, that if I fall back to sleep, I dream about that same thing. It was like the same guys in a pick up truck but I don't remember it very clearly.






Round 4 of Dreams.
"Surfing and Flying LD" / "Pickpocketing Leprechaun" / "Late for family meal. "

It seemed that in this round of dreams there were some continuations of previous dreams.

I have a vague memory of being with my Dad in my Nana's room. he was standing where she keeps the T V in waking life and I was by the marble table. My Dad was saying something and I was trying to tell him the main problem was workaholism, but I accidentally slipped and said something like circaholism or circumcision is the main problem. When I thought about it, I realized that verbal slip actually reveals more of the truth, since when so many males are traumatized with the horror of circumcision at birth, they will develop workaholism among many other problems. But I think I tried to correct myself within the dream, and accidentally said circumcision trauma that time, too. I don't remember anything else from that part.

The next part I remember is my sister was setting up for something inside. Maybe another baseball game? There was more scenes with Dad and my Uncles from the previous dream. This time, there was food being prepared. My sister and aunt and other relatives were looking for me, I think calling my name, but I was stuck in the basement. I could hear them calling for me, but I could not reply. My voice wouldn't travel up the stairs. Rivers of water kept being poured down over the stairs past me to the floor of the basement. It didn't really feel like a drowning dream or anything, it was just more of a mild thing with water. But I did feel it was perhaps tragic that I was right there in the basement, trying to get up, but they must have felt like I abandoned them.

I don't remember what happened but next thing I remember I was up the stairs. My relatives were all serving food at some kind of banquet. I think I ate some and it tasted good. Maybe some pasta and cheese thing or ice cream was the closest I could remember to what food it was. It was day time outside and we were all eating out there.

So then I was sitting with my Nana or another older relative. But then I was seeing a view point from behind this relative where this little leprechaun or Mario like character was pick pocketing my relative and then plucking various pieces of gold and jewelry off their clothes and hair without them noticing. Then, the dream kind of showed this little gnome type of character running around the house, stealing different valuable things. Then, everyone was chasing after him, angry at him, and searching all over the house to find him. The dream showed the little guy finding a hiding place while some men passed by looking for him, then he moved to hide in some storage bin while they passed by another way. Then, I came back into having a "dream body" in the same room as him. I knew he was in this blue storage bin with some wooden rods in it, but I had compassion for him. I didn't want him to be hurt and punished. So my intent was to move the box he was in into the closet so he could hide in the closet instead of being crammed into one tiny box. I was trying to protect him. As I was moving the blue bin, my friends Carlos and Omar came into the room, looking for the guy who was hiding there. He was staying perfectly still in this plastic bag within the bin. Then, the bin morphed into my black airport luggage with no one noticing. They asked what was in there, or did I find the guy in there, and I said, no, it is just all my own stuff. In it was my fraternity paddle, a funny samurai knife and sword thing and some other wooden objects. (Funny because I just unearthed those objects the other day while looking through the basement. ) I pulled out a wooden brush and felt like, oh, no that belongs to Carlos. Sure enough, Carlos said that it was his brush, so I was kind of like, oops, sorry, you can have it. There was also some kind of wooden music player that was cylindrical. Carlos was going to pay me four dollars for me to return his brush to him, but I was like, it is your brush, I should be paying you for it. The wood had red lettering on it like in waking life. The bristles were pointy and black.

Then, I woke up and laid there, thinking through the dream. Just when I had formed some solid memories of them, I felt the tingles return and my limbs get heavy, so sleep paralysis was setting in again. Sleep paralysis was really cooperating very well with me on this night. It was like within 10 minutes of laying down and not moving, I would feel everything get heavy, and I would know sleep was right around the corner. It was nice to have that happen instead of all the fidgeting I sometimes have gotten.

I don't think it was a true WILD but I regained consciousness within this next dream fairly early on. It began with a music video of some guys flying around at a beach, rapping or singing lyrics to a song. The words appeared as captions on the bottom of the screen and I followed along with the captions, hoping to remember them when I woke up. The captions had different colors like blue or gold or tan around them. It reminded me of the captions on a recent Stephen LaBerge lecture I watched and maybe that's why it appeared in my dream that way. As I followed along with the words, which by the way I remembered none of upon awakening, I realized this was a dream. The idea of people rapping had continued throughout the night so that might have been partly why. Then, I noticed I was watching this on a phone, laying on my side, the same side I was sleeping on in physical world, and I could see light on in my room behind the phone screen. I started to think I would be able to put down the phone and go do something, but I was afraid to move and wake myself up physically, so i just kept watching. Then, I was actually at the beach floating there with them, still seeing the same music video. After a few moments of this I felt ready to start moving my dream body, and I flew towards these sand dunes which were shaped like a skate boarding half pipe. I sort of surfed along the curves of the half pipe thing and got stuck mid way because it was just sand. But that started my sensation of surfing or "boarding" around.

I almost just kept watching the music video, but I realized that I could passively watch music videos all day. But that might not be as cool as going out and engaging "life" or in this case the dream. So it was kind of empowering to be able to be active instead of passive.

I continued "surf boarding" to the edge of the sand and then over this ice which had frozen over the dark water. Once I got to the edge of the ice, i was flying through the air. The sky was dark but things were dimly illuminated. I saw a guy in midair and flew straight into him, kind of on purpose, not sure why though. We bounced off each other harmlessly and talked about how cool it was to be flying here. He was a somewhat heavy African American guy, maybe my age. I thought it might be social to ask him his name, and he said Adrian. Then I saw my friend Tom from college down by the water's surface, and I shouted down, "Tom, is the water dangerous?" He said, "No, the water is totally safe!" I was totally reassured and completely trusted him. Then he looked more like my friend Amelio, and then he turned into a navy blue silhouette with white glowing rings all over it, within the silhouette, not around it. I wanted to go in the water but didn't end up doing that. Then I was flying near the top of a tall book shelf with Adrian and one of the book covers said, "How certain kinds of media make us not like our noses," Which I thought was interesting. the book cover had red on it and a cartoon of a guy in black ink drawing. I understood the intent of the book to be to communicate how when people watch too much T V or celebrity stuff, they feel inferior, such as not liking their own nose any more. I thought that was some good dream wisdom. Not to compare myself to others and not to consume a lot of mass media or look at celebrities or photos of people a lot because that is where the comparing can start.

I thought to see if I could play a Dream Theater song within the dream, but sort of shot down my own idea. in hindsight, that would have been really cool, to try to hear a song I like in waking life, within my lucid, dream.
(Note to self #2*. )

I guess I flew around a little more or observed some more stuff and then woke up. I forgot the exact moment I woke up. I was able to think it through very clearly though.









Round of 5 sleep.
I went back to bed, hoping for one last round of dreams. Maybe even some lucidly aware dreams after my last little taste of lucidity in round 4. But, when I awoke, I had no memory of any dreams. I tried to sleep again after that, but could not get back to sleep. It was 7 A M and sunny already so usually I can't sleep much past sun up. It was a good night of dreams though and glad to be done typing it up in full.

I know my D J entries are pretty long so I might try to come up with some way to highlight what I would want people to read if they only wanted to read 25%.

2018, 02-12

The Dark Tower – Shootout Between Worlds

I am Ned Stark. I am riding a horse down a dark street in a medieval town, there are other people here with me. Three of my own people, and one other is called Little Finger, but I call him Little Dick. I don’t like Little Dick. But so far, I have managed to refrain from calling him Little Dick to his face. We are riding along the street when some other people get in our way. I recognize Jaime Lannister. Jaime is annoyed about my wife kidnapping his brother. This isn’t true, Tyrion went with my wife willingly. Jaime won’t hear it. Little Dick tells him to get out of the way. By now Jaime has his own people surrounding us. There are a dozen of them. Jaime says that Little Dick can go. Little Dick says he’s going to get the city guard. Jaime says he knows he can’t do me any harm without risking my wife killing his brother. Jaime leaves the circle of soldiers as if they are going to leave us alone. But as he leaves he says that I cannot get out of this without being chastised, and tells his men to kill mine. Three men are with me as guards. It is raining hard, so I think if I can summon a bolt of lightning it won’t look out of place. My people have drawn their blades, and I do the same. We are ready to fight. I am focus on the song Battery by Metallica. I feel an electrical charge building around us, but then everything changes.

It’s as if the entire world around us has melted away. It looks like the Assassin Creed games when you’re switching from one memory to the next. The world falls apart around us, and then reforms into something completely different. My three men and I are still on our horses. Jaime’s people still surround us with their blades drawn. But we are not on the street. We are in what looks like a large executive office. Both Jaime’s people and mine appears stunned to inactivity. There are a lot of thugs who might be working for the mafia. There is shooting going on. We have appeared in the middle of a shootout. Since Jaime’s people were surrounding mine, they start getting shot first. I hear someone yelling something about shooting the spooks. I am really not sure what to do, but being on a horse doesn’t seem to be beneficial. I get off of the horse to make less of a target. I wonder what happens if Eddard gets killed in this weird world. One of the thugs has gotten too close to me with his gun. He’s now close enough to take out with my sword, so I do so. I take cover behind an overturned table.

There is complete chaos in the room, horses screaming and panic, people yelling and confusion, other people just yelling for blood… I see one of the thugs taking aim at a young man. I cut him down from behind. The young man looks over at me and looks really confused. I am thinking he is probably surprised to see someone dressed in medieval armor that appears to come from nowhere. I noticed a weird sensation, my hair is standing up on end as if electrified. But I haven’t been focusing on battery… I hear horses crying out I think they’re getting shot, and then the world falls apart again. One of the horses, having been shot, collapses right on top of my leg. I can feel my leg has broken badly. I tried to look around, but all I see are bodies. Every one of Jaime’s men are dead, and mine are, too. I wonder how I managed to avoid getting shot. I am trying to get my leg out from underneath my fallen horse. I can’t do it. The horse is dead. I try to use telekinesis to move it, but that doesn’t seem to be working. I hear someone coming. I am still trying to get free when I hear someone coming. Everything fades to black as I lose consciousness.

********************

The other side: I am on beach. It is night time, and I look up and down the beach to try to figure out where I am. I see a door, it looks like it doesn’t lead anywhere. I can see and triangle of light shining through. This is one of the doors from the dark tower books. I go over to the door to see which one it is. I noticed a large crowd the lobster preachers all fighting over something on the beach. What the fuck? I ignore them, and go through the door. On the other side of the door I’m in a bathroom. I hear the sound of gunfire from the next room. I know where I am. This is Balazar’s place, and this is where Eddie and Roland are in their shootout. I go through the door into the office to help. The shootout has already begun, I am reminded of this by the deafening roar of Roland’s revolver. There are a lot of other people here, most of them I don’t recognize. I see one that I do recognize. It is a young man with guns look like Roland’s, I think it might be MoSh. I see MoSh take out a couple of thugs with a couple more deafening blasts from the guns. I am still thinking that my abilities won’t work, so I take a gun off of a dead body that has fallen near me. A thug not very far away asks who the fuck am I? He then says it doesn’t matter, if he doesn’t know me then I’m going to die. I see he’s got that backwards. I quickly aim my weapon and shoot him right in the head. I see another thought taking aim Roland from behind, and I put a bullet in him, too.

That’s when things get weird. People materialize in the room from nowhere. Four of them are on horses, and there’s about a dozen more dressed in medieval armor and wielding swords. I’m not sure what to make this, I don’t remember the previous part of the dream. I hear a man yelling to kill the stroke, then he adds kill all of the spooks. Apparently they think the strange are spooks of some kind. Most of the new arrivals seem too stunned by their new surroundings to do much of anything. One of them acts quickly and slides off of his horse. I see a couple of them manage to take out a thug or two with their swords before they get shot. I’m not sure if these bullets are armor piercing rounds, or if the armor just isn’t very good, but it doesn’t seem to be protecting them. I feel bad that the horses getting shot. Then, just as quickly as they arrived, the strange visitors fade from existence. Both the living and the dead disappear, leaving no trace they ever existed. The man I think is MoSh is not far from me, he asks what the fuck was that? I tell him I don’t know. Soon all the thugs are dead. I see one final thug come to the doorway. He throws something at Eddie, it is a severed head. Eddie freaks out and start shooting at the guy, but he gets only one bang and the rest are dry clicks. Roland shoots the guy in the head, and he falls dead. Eddie keeps trying to shoot him, that was his brother’s severed head and he is both hurt and pissed. I wish I could do something to help, but I don’t get a chance to. Everything fades and I wake up.

I am lying in my bed as I woke up from a dream and find my cousin sitting beside me. I am confused but glad to see her here. She explains she took an expensive flight and that she could only be here for one day. I told her I was feeling tired and that we could talk after I wake up. I go back to bed in the dream and when I woke up I notice she was gone. I go in to my closet and notice everything is completely upside down. I then check the living room and notice everything was darker than usual.

I then wake up from my dream again and found myself lying in bed. I assume that all things that just happen must've been all in my head. I get up and check in to my closet and found everything was the same as I had dreamed of it. All the items were completely upside down and I beginning questioning my reality. I know my cousin is a troll but would she go this far? And how could she change everything in such a short time? My room look completely girly and unorthodox.

That's when I became lucid and realize this must be a dream right now. But then I woke up again, in the same spot on my bed. I was awake still however and decided to figure out if this was a dream again or was I really awake now. I see now I have two front door's for my room. This came off as a dream sign and then I open the closet and notice it was still girly. I wake up again, and this time I really did believe I was awake in waking life.

Getting up out of bed felt realistic and my closet didn't look as weird. But when I went in to the bathroom I notice I was wearing a hat and that my mirror was in the wrong place attach to the wall. I take my hat off and notice the back part of my hair has been completely cut off. I begin to panic as I remember my cousin saying she would do that to me in my sleep. I begin running around in disbelief and finally woke up for real.

I was in a city like environment. It looked like one of the later areas in LSD Dream emulator with pink fog and strange flashing colors and textures applied to everything. There was oddly shaped buildings and cars in the roads, but there were no dream characters to be found anywhere. I was more or less lucid from the point this dream began. I feel like there was more to this dream than I could recall, perhaps a non-lucid portion, but I only recall the lucid portion.

I wandered the streets for some time. I was fearing another empty dream in where there were no dream characters present. I attempted flying, something which is nominally a reliable means of transportation in dreams did not work sustainably. I could leap into the air and hover momentarily and then would sputter down towards the ground.

I noticed there was a large purple pyramid shaped building in the center of the city, with a golden star on one side. The star looked like it might have actually been a door but it was about 20 stories up and I wasn't sure how I would get up there. I felt compelled to try and get inside thinking that I might be able to find something interesting inside. I climbed a nearby building and was getting ready to leap to the golden star when when the building I was on fell out from under me. I lept backwards onto another building which put me even farther away from the pyramid building but kept me on a roughly even level with the golden star.

I ran for it and made a leap to the star, and attempted to pull off just a bit of flying to get over there. I managed and tore through the star like paper and headed inside where I climbed some stairs and headed into a large cross-shaped room. There were stairs on the far side and lots of smaller rooms off to the side. Each of the small rooms had even more rooms that it branched off into. There were dream characters present, some were just standing around talking and others were going in and out of the various rooms.

All of the walls were covered in a purple felt-like fabric but felt hard underneath. The floor was carpet with a childish looking pattern of planets with cartoon faces and outer space on it.

Marcus appeared and explained to me that this was a lucid dreaming school, and I would have to progress through all the rooms and that after this there were more rooms on the next level up.

"Well let's get started then."

I went and opened a door (which I think had a number 1 or a number 11 on it). When I opened it a miniature tornado began to manifest itself in the room, visible by swirling gray dust. A semblance of a face appeared on the tornado and he laughed at me before dashing out the door and blowing around the main room, knocking into people, blowing papers out of their hand and the like. Marcus got a vacuum cleaner and sucked up the tornado.

I asked him if it was cheating to do that, but he said that it was alright as he was just a projection of myself. He said that the stairway had opened now and I could progress to the next level. I climbed the stairs and now saw that I was in my high school gym, on the second level where the running track ran around the inside of the gym. (Some of you may remember user JustMe13, Well I've kept in touch with him on Discord) He was there.

He challenged me to a race around the track. I wanted to practice dream super powers and I've never put much thought into super speed. We started running the race and both of us made surprisingly quick pace. I had difficult rounding the corners at the end of the track as I did not seem to have particularly good grip on the ground and would have to wall run along the corners, and encountered some strange dreamlike physics. Although he actually won the race due to strange physics. He then left saying he had to go back to the first level.

I began talking with another dream character and told them some things about myself and asked if they could meet Manei. I told them they could and started to summon her. I was partially successful as she did appear but was somewhat translucent. She greeted the other dream character who was ecstatic to meet her. The other dream character then left as well. I got more control over the dream and I thought about how I have black belt trial testing (for second degree black belt) coming up IRL and needed to practice my sparring. Just by thinking of it sparring gear appeared on both of us.

While I practiced my sparring sets, we had a conversation about something... I don't remember... might have just been small talk since I haven't been lucid dreaming much. One thing I remember was that Manei was able to draw up memories of lessons on various sparring sets and tricks that I didn't remember learning but upon waking up I have confirmed are legitimate, so I must have learned them at some point in the past. I do remember bringing up how in sparring, I prefer to only use the basic kicks. When I did sparring on my black belt test, I found my opponents would sometimes incorporate spinning kicks but were too slow and inexperienced to implement them properly, the move was always telegraphed and could be avoided or you could counter with a basic kick.

Manei vanished randomly after a few minutes. I could tell the dream was ending but wanted to execute some dream meditations. I haven't done much dream meditation but I laid down on my back and crossed my hands over my chest; how I've been meditating in waking life recently. I focused on breathing and managed to hang on to the dream for about two minutes before waking up.

I just wanted to make a note that I am looking to get back into lucid dreaming and that I have started meditating and dream journaling once more. Recently alot of dreams I've had have been nightmares; things involving themes like realistic portrayals or terrorist attacks or me losing control of a car and running over a group of young children. Things that I wouldn't feel comfortable describing at length in a public blog post. So it was a relief to have a more pleasant dream that I could come back to.

I know I make really long Dj posts so if you only read one part just read dream #1.






Hi, everyone. Here are my dreams from the night of february eleventh to twelvth.





Dream 1.
"A Real Dream State Superhero. "

I went to bed around 7 P M pretty tired and I think I fell asleep pretty soon there after. I found myself in a dream which seemed like almost right upon falling asleep at the beginning of the night, which is usually surprising. By the time my memory of it starts, some other stuff had already happened, which I was trying to write down within the dream (not lucid yet).

I was in my room at the house I lived in last with my Dad and my sister. They were playing some Biggie Smalls and something else on the television. I was getting mad and I think my sister was even doing it to annoy me. I kept trying to start writing my dream so far and then the noise would irritate me again. I got mad at them, said "this is B S," and left my room.

I walked out into the living room and heard more televisions and radios on, that I figured my Mom was listening to. I turned it off, and it came back on. I fought with it a little bit, turning it off, and then it popping back on, until eventually it stayed off. I was getting pretty angry at this point, although feeling bad about cursing at my Dad and my Sister.

I went into the kitchen of that house. The layout of the house was very much like it was in waking life. I saw my Brita filter out on the table or counter which is a little unusual because I usually keep that in the fridge. For some reason I started to think it might be a dream, and did a finger palm test. This time the dream state check was done from more a perspective of thinking I was awake, but doing the dream state check to cope with a crappy situation. I do that sometimes in waking life and I guess it is translating to my dream now. If I get really ticked off about something, I will do a finger palm test, because I expect that emotion to translate into my dream somehow. This time, it actually did, and I was very surprised when my finger showed through on the back side of my left palm.

So, here I am, lucid in this dream. I am trying to decide what to do first. I look at the windows and door and consider flying. It is dark outside.

I think of apologizing to my Dad and sister for sort of yelling at them before. I start heading back to my bedroom where they were last. Next thing I know, I am running through the house, but everything is all black. I feel the sensations of my body running. I am running at full speed but I can't see anything. I feel like I am fighting against a current.

I am in my physical bed now and I feel a very ominous form of sleep paralysis. I begin to fight it, hearing some ominous sounding voices and seeing some visualizations I am afraid of. (I don't remember the exact voices or visuals as of now. ) I am punching my arms, wondering if these are my physical or non physical arms. (They turned out to be non physical arms. ) I remember my intention to just relax if I encounter sleep paralysis, and I am able to just relax. The wave of sleep paralysis passes and I am laying in my bed a moment.

Another wave of sleep paralysis begins right after that. This time, I see two sort of faces above me, one of which has the word "Liver" written above it. I hear a mix of male voices that I think I have heard in other dreams. (The Mr. Singapore dream and Scissor Hands Kills Me. ) They are saying that they will give me lots of power, and then chanting the word power over and over. This seems kind of scary or ominous but I remember to just relax. Then, after hearing the scarier voices, I hear a very shrill voice that reminds me of Tutter from Bear and the Big Blue House. The voice says, "A Real Dream State Super Hero!" and then the wave of sleep paralysis ends.

Now I am in my physical bed, thinking through the dream experience. I feel very pleased with my successfully remembering to relax through the sleep paralysis. I think that if I could relax during that, I could relax during anything. I feel so enlightened and happy about the shrill voice's comment, that I am now a "Real Dream State Super Hero" for passing the test of the night terror.

As I think through the dreams, I realize I must not have slept for long. I feel my body go tingly and I decide to go to sleep again. I feel confident that the memory will be in my mind next time I wake up.








Dream 2.
"Fragments. "

Vague memories, I am telling my friend Tom something, maybe in a battle with him. Maybe something with weight lifting, maybe something in the woods.

There are some women from a meeting or concerned with their weight, maybe my aunt.

A lot more happens in the dreams but I don't remember.

These parts i remembered a little more clearly. My friend Jared is working on a project with my other friend Dave in an office. Jared is away a lot and Dave is working on the project by himself. He is wondering if the project matters. I am thinking about Dave's predicament while looking at the base of a tupperware. The idea comes to mind that I could send him a letter saying that the project is important and Dave's work is much appreciated, and say it is "From Jared," But then I think that Dave will find out it really wasn't from Jared and I will be caught for making the fake letter.

People are at computers. Maybe my friend Carlos is there. I also work there, but as I walk through the corridor between cubicles, I think about how I don't want my job.

Some more things happen that I forgot.

Then there is some talk of a Blue Tooth headset thing shown from the back of a persons head. There are some superior and inferior models of bluetooth headset shown. The guy talking about the Blue Tooth headset seems to be Tim P from Snoozon dot com. Something about dating is also worked into the scene. The band of the head set wraps around the back of the persons head, rather than over the top. There is a little plug like where a Samsung charger would go.

In another part, there are reference web pages. Someone is saying that children should just be given this big volume of lucid dreaming references and left to work it out on their own, not ask questions from others. the text is white and the back ground is black on the page I click on. There is another page to the left of that I didn't click on.

When the dream ends I am laying in bed for several minutes thinking but without realizing I have woken up from a dream. I come to my senses and realize I have just dreamed. I recall as much as I can and go write it down.






Dream 3.
"Cat Spray / Booty Pants. "

I had a very hard time falling asleep for these. I just could not get the position of my pillows right and it took me forever to fall asleep.

I had some parts of this dream that I forgot. Maybe this was when I dreamed of Stephan from how to lucid talking about Brain Wave power Music. Now here is the part I remember clearly. I am laying or sitting down somewhere. A cat walks onto me and at first I am kind of uneasy about it, but I decide cats are good and I just relax. Next thing I know, the cat is putting its butt toward my face. I start to panic because cat spray is supposed to be really yucky and I think it is about to spray me. However, I can't move. I try to struggle to get the cat off me, but I can't move. (I know this was a dream because I was laying on my back or in a recliner chair in the dream, but physically I was on my side. )

I wake up from that and think back through the rest of the dreams. I remember some right after, but I can't remember them now as I write this. (This is why I find dream jouraling in the present tense confusing. )

A lot happened in the next dream but I forgot. There was a part where I was telling someone I really like them instead of fighting. I was setting up my cell phone and stylus on my dresser drawer near my bed, like how it was arranged at my house in high school. I think i fell asleep within that dream, and dreamed of dreaming.

The dream within the dream is of a game show thing. There is a blonde haired guy with short hair answering the game show hosts questions. He is kind of doing these dance moves from behind the podium as he answers them. There is one other contestant on either side of him. The middle contestant has a funny voice and I notice the situation is a little unusual.

Then the game show host starts to question the contestant on the left, who is a female. Her pants are very baggy. She is also doing dance moves while answering the questions.

The game show host mentions "booty pants" and now the girls entire bottom is hanging out of her pants, but they are pulled up all the way in the front. Her bottom sort of sags out of her pants in an unusual way.

Next, the "dream screen" is showing me a bunch of african american people running from one building to another. They are all wearing these "booty pants" that their bottoms hang out of. They all have the same kind of saggy bottom that flaps around. I am thinking that this must be a new trend, because maybe it is not considered public nudity, for them to show their bottoms. Two women are running from one building, then they are all killing each other. The next thing I know, I amn't just watching through a "dream screen", I am actually there! And a few people run at me to kill me.

I think there may have been a part where I was hiding in a bathroom but now sure.

Next thing I know I am in a mall type of place. (I forgot some parts of the mall. ) In the first part I remember, i am in some kind of lecture. A woman is standing up and telling the crowd how we must never forget the trauma of the booty pants massacre. She doesn't refer to it as such but that is the idea i get from it. She is saying how it is unfortunate her boss doesn't want her bringing it up and how we all want to forget the horrible event. I respect her for speaking the truth but I judge her apperance in some ways. She is wearing a woman's business suit type of thing.

Next, someone is giving a lecture from up ahead. I am sitting with my back against the edge of a table. Kind of hard to explain, but like the only thing supporting my back is the narrow edge of the table, not a whole back of a chair. It is a black glass table. A woman asks me to move further back or to where there are seats for some reason. I go to move back further to this place where there is a semi circle of folding chairs. Some have more padding on the bottom than the others. One faces perpendicular to the lecturer, but has more padding. I go to one ninety degree from that to be head on to the lecturer. There is black cushion on the bottom of the seat. They are a type of tan or metallic brown fold up chair that is a common color for fold up chairs. I am thinking about how sitting with my back against that table like that would definitely give me a knot in my back from all the pressure on one tiny spot. But now I can't see the front of the place in the mall where the lecturer is speaking. I can still hear them speak but can't make out the words. (I don't know what the lecture was about. )

Some more stuff happened in the dream but I don't remember what. It took me a while to remember to try to think of what I had dreamed this time, probably due to the difficult falling asleep. I am glad to remember the part about the cat spray, because I thought that was interesting, and not too upset to have forgotten the rest. It seemed too soon to get up again.





Dream 4.
"Dream Journal in Nana's Front yard. " (Segments)

I forgot what happened earlier in the dreams, if anything.

I am sitting in my Nana's front yard, by the exit of her driveway. My friend S was sitting toward the middle of her front yard. We were both dream journaling. I was on a low beach chair and he was on some blankets about 20 feet away. there was something about not being social enough, and I replied by saying, I am making great relationships right from this chair. What I meant was that I have a lot of social interaction within my dreams, for one. Also, writing my dreams probably helps me be a better friend when I have the chance to.

I was dream journaling something from earlier in that dream or a previous dream. It came out upside down some how and I was kind of confused about that. One dream idea involved relapsing in the dream, and waking up glad I didn't relapse in waking life. Glad it was just a dream. In the dream, the idea was that before bed, I wanted to relapse, but I didn't. So then I relapsed in my dream but woke up glad I hadn't really done it. I was trying to use that to explain one way in which dreams have been really valuable to me.

My sister was showing us her dream journal and talking about how she had a new annotation system. She had two dreams on the same page, but in different fonts, so they were still separated, but most dreams went on different pages.

Someone was under S's blanket at some point. I think that's why he said something about relationships to me, when I was just sitting alone dream journaling. It is funny that I dream journal so much in dreams but it is because dream journaling is one of the main things I do every day.

Throughout this night, i had this funny experience when I would wake up, that I would be in a stream of thoughts, but not aware I had just woken up. I would slowly come to and realize I had not thought of dreams right away. It was kind of different. I also had a lot of dreams of dreaming within a dream or falling asleep in a dream and waking up in my physical bed, more so than usual, not sure why.






Dream 5.
"Kidnapped / Nightmare. "

First there was something that wasn't a night mare of selecting Pokemon for my roster of 6 in the game or a battle. I was checking if I got all the types I would need to cover all the type advantages but I think I was missing a few essential types in favor of keeping some Pokemon I liked more on the team. there was an idea of making it through a long dungeon within the Pokemon game where there was no where to get more potions or ethers and it was one of the most difficult parts of the game. I think my team had a water type, a Meganium, a Dragon and Flying type, and some others. I wanted to be sure I had accounted for my rivals starter. I was sort of merged with the game screen at times but other times I was standing at a desk, playing the game, and talking to other people there. It was kind of dark.

I forgot some parts in the middle here.

The next thing I remember, I am looking at these really scary masks up high above me. there is one mask up to the left that is scary but I dont remember it now. Up and to the right, there is a gray mask with a really scary, scary, scary face, and I keep looking away and looking back. A voice is telling me not to look at the masks. Every time I look back, I am like, man, why did I look again? But then I look again. It is very nightmarish with amplified feelings of dread.

In another part, I am being held captive by a guy and maybe more people elsewhere in the building, but one guy is watching me at the time. (Note to self #1*)

At one point, I tried to look out the door, down the hall, but I could tell they didn't want me to. The guy supervising me in the room was holding me still and holding a phone screen in my face saying some accusatory words. Then, he was pinching me from the left side of my abdomen, and it created a really unpleasant sensation. I was afraid this pinching would go on forever but I was also afraid to complain to the guy in case he would make it worse. He gave me some confusing instructions.

Then another guy came in the room who was going to torture me at mid night. The guy was wearing black gloves and seemed in his fifties. He was called Spike. The main guy in the room with me said, "Spike comes out to play at midnight." I felt a lot of fear and like I had no way to escape. So it was definitely a night mare. I guess if things got really bad, I would have become lucidly aware it was a dream, but it wasn't quite bad enough for that to kick in. Maybe they meant for it to be that way!

I may have forgot some parts. But midnight hadn't come yet, so Spike "hadn't come out to play." I was walking in a lit hallway, like the hallway of a mall. There were rolls of toilet paper on a shelf and I went to get some of them. I had a sense that I was being a good prisoner and I would return to my room with the toilet paper, not that I was escaping. Then, the guy from my room was there, and he told me not to take those toilet paper rolls. He brought me along the hall way and I saw some doors that said employees only or something like that on black placards. Then he brought me to this one door that became a giant garage door, and typed some things into a key pad. I think he typed in the number 6 and the letter D, but I am not sure. But in the dream, I definitely took a mental note of what buttons he pressed, in case I needed to go back there during my imprisonment.

It turned out to be a train station. the guy said to pick up someone for a Pokemon T C G game and then make money off of playing the game with them. He said that was how I could be more independent. There were lots of people in this room, and it was bright. I remember noticing some heavy people in particular.

I forgot if anything else happened in between. I may have woken up there or right before and thought it through, but fallen back asleep for there to be more of a plot.

I was walking on a wooden walk way, with two black bags. One was like a gym bag and the other was another shape. They were my stuff and I was leaving wherever I was imprisoned. Some metal music was playing in the dream and it went with the emotions of a mix of deep sadness at having this done to me, and anger at the people who imprisoned me. I don't know how I got out. But I knew that I had been traumatized and would never be the same. I felt really numb about it all but beginning to notice the anger and sadness surfacing as I walked along. It was a bright day and everyone else on the wooden walk way seemed happy.

Some women were walking by in the opposite direction, commenting on the feeling of the wind. One woman stopped right as we were passing by each other and stood still, saying how she didn't need to go anywhere, just to feel the wind. I wanted to say something to her in reply, but I was too withdrawn. I walked by her.

I don't remember if I woke up directly from that part or if there was any more after that. When I was reviewing the dream, I thought it was cool how the dream continued after I woke up a little and had some resolution. It didn't just leave me there being tortured by a series of captors, but it sort of showed me that I got out and was free again. It seems like a significant dream in a lot of ways but I don't know what it means.








Dream 6.
"Stretching on mats / I think I'll go to sleep now. "

This was a pretty short dream. I tried to fall back asleep on my left side after writing those previous ones but a nerve was pinching in that shoulder. I was really annoyed at this but switched to my right side.

I dreamed of being in a wrestling room with a bunch of maybe 15 foot by 6 foot pieces of wrestling mat. Each person got their own 15 by 6 piece of mat and it was kind of like an extra big yoga mat. Mine was in the front corner of the room to the right. I got up from it and saw another kid going to take it, but I told him, that is my stretching mat. I was far on the other corner of the room and had to keep yelling it accross the room as I rushed over to stop him from taking my yoga mat. Then, I was helping him and some other kids find their own. There were other stretching mats folded and rolled up here and there. Mine was dark green and others were blue.

Then, I was laying back or reclining on my stretching mat. I forgot if anything else happened between these parts, but I remember looking at an image of a Goomba from Mario on my phone. It was brown and pretty big. I was surprised to see it. The top left corner of the screen was blocked by something else square.

As I looked at the Goomba picture, I noticed I felt sleepy. I felt just how I sometimes feel before I know I am going to drift off to sleep. So I kind of closed my eyes and laid back, excited that I was going to fall asleep and maybe have a dream. I really thought it was waking life. I felt my body do this vibrational thing where it kind of bounced back and forth in a range of motion of a few inches, kind of hard to explain. I was really excited because I thought it meant a cool dream would begin. It turned out that I was already in a dream, and the next dream to begin was just that I would be laying in my physical bed! So I awoke to the "physical dream", ha ha ha.

I was surprised that I had fallen asleep because I didn't remember falling asleep. I tried to lay still and dream chain a little, but my body wanted to move, so I got up. It was about 7 A M so that is not too early.

That was it for dreams last night. It seemed like my dream recall was much fuzzier than usual but there were plenty of interesting dreams now that I look at it and type it out in full.

Last night was hot and annoying. I kept having repetitive thoughts because it kept me awake.

1. Saw Eye. Was semi lucid. Something was attached to me that I couldn't release. Was like a shadow monster that rained shadow droplets around me.

2. Childhood friends visited me. Drank a soda that was root beer flavor that my friend bought.

3.Eye appeared again as comfort. I felt sick.

4.A random girl was talking about a transparent rainbow slime thing that smelled like bubblegum and her fav meeting place.

I had some trouble falling asleep right away. I noticed that when I switched from mouth breathing to nose breathing, it was easier to relax.



Round 1 of dreams.
"Accidental O B E / my sister's knife."

So I was having this dream of playing some video game. It was a racing game or something. I also remember a visual of a grey photo with Pokemon on it that said S E on the bottom left. I somehow calculated that this meant it was from serebii.net. It was ripped on the top left. There were other photos or magazine cut outs near by. My sister was also playing. I wanted to stop the game and go to bed but she wanted to finish the game. I was in my bed in my room at my previous house. I was laying down in bed with a woman, just to go to sleep, nothing really romantic in this dream. She had a knife at the head of the bed, down on the floor. It was like the red knife we use in the kitchen. Like a silver knife with a red handle. Something about the name of a teacher from my high school, Ms. H.

The knife was apparently for her to be able to stab me in case I woke her up or something like that. I decided she might accidentally grab it and stab me in her sleep, so I tried to move it to a table near my bed. While I was up from bed doing this, she got up and covered my face. I noticed that i could still breathe, which in hindsight was due to the same reason nose pinched breathing works in a dream. She was holding me down and I couldn't move. I tried to fight her. Then I think I woke up a little or something and the dream repeated, ending with her holding me down again. I don't know if it repeated in full but I think I remember playing the video game thing twice and then her holding me down trying to kill me, twice. I actually realized it was a dream and I should be able to sort of stop her from trying to kill me. I tried to push her away (gently) using telekinesis, and it didn't seem to work. I remember feeling kind of overpowered. I woke up in the heaviest and most paralyzed sleep paralysis I have ever been in before. I couldn't even breathe or move and it was so weird. I panicked and started to try to fight it, just as I was fighting it within the dream. I thought of relaxing like I had heard of from many lucid dreamers who had sleep paralysis but the fight response was too much. I was totally panicked and this became almost like a nightmare. Also, sleep paralysis within an hour or two of going to sleep at night was the last thing I expected. I felt total dread. Dread is a great word for the feeling I felt.

I really thought I would have a terrifying night terror if I stayed still, and I wanted to avert that. I thought my eye cover had slipped off and I could see things in my room dimly illuminated with white light. In hindsight, that wasn't my physical room, it was like an astral overlay of my physical room which i was seeing, or just a dream room that was close to my physical room. I remember touching my non physical eyes with my non physical hands thinking it was physical to check if the eye cover had fallen off.

I struggled with all my might to get my physical body to move. I thought I felt my physical body get up out of bed and go toward the window behind my bed. It turned out it was my non physical body, but I didn't know that at the time. That's why I called it an accidental O B E. I don't know whether to call it my astral body or my dream body. At any rate, I pushed against the window to see if I would fly out. The window was solid. The curtains were not drawn the same as they are in waking life though, but I didn't notice at the time. I could feel the cold glass window. I could also see out the glass a bit, just some rendering of street lights and house lights and maybe stars or moon. Now that I was up, I was thinking that I must have only slept very briefly. But I would just journal about it and then go back to sleep.

So I looked for my dream journal setup and my dream journal chair. The lights in the room sort of went on on their own without me noticing. My dream journal chair was in a different place, but I didn't notice the discrepancy. I started to gather my thoughts and get ready to dream journal.

Then I woke up in my physical bed in semi sleep paralysis and thought through the experience. I think I also heard some exit and re entry noises, now that I think about it.

Once I was in my physical bed for sure, my fear was pretty much gone. After forming a clear mental image of the dream, I tried to see if another dream or O B E would begin if I stayed perfectly still. I told myself that even if a night terror came right up to my face, I would just relax.

It kind of scared me that I went out of body and kind of abandoned my body in fear. That has never happened before. But I thought it was cool because I have never had an O B E like that before where a non physical body literally separates from the physical body into the persons bedroom. Of course it would happen to me accidentally, not when I try hard!












Round 2 of dreams.
"Just Fragments".

I dozed back off a lot on these even as I thought them through so some memory was lost. But I must have needed the sleep.

There was a part with my cousin and my aunt. My aunt was saying something, sitting near a door.

There was a guy who looked like someone from the gym I used to go to, saying how he did one thing per minute. He was sort of hanging off the edge of his bed, saying how dream recall was so easy. He had one hundred percent dream recall and if everyone else would only do it his way, they could have it too. But no one would listen to him. He was on one of the beds of a bunk bed. The bed was on the left side of the "dream screen" and he was facing towards the right.

There was this part where I was going through old stuff. I saw a picture of a picture of my Dad in a white polo shirt. I kind of wondered why someone took a picture of a picture but I tried to give it to him anyway. There was an old white sneaker that looked kind of droopy. I was holding it up by its navy blue laces. My Dad was saying how he didn't want us to ruin the shoe. It was like his old pair of shoes, but he had it in case his new pair of shoes broke or something.

I remembered more after waking up from them, but fell back asleep. There were definitely more parts I forgot. Later on, I remembered one part about a four versus four pokemon battle, or like a double double battle. I wrote more about this during the dream journal entry in which I remembered it.

I only got up because I needed to pee very much. Otherwise I would have kept sleeping.















Round 3 of dreams.

I am not sure if I remembered parts of last dream I thought I had forgotten as the beginning of this dream, but I will put them here.

My Dad and I were moving into a new place to live. Somehow Homestar Runner was involved. There were two vines I wanted to replant. (I dream a lot about planting plants since I started growing some house plants) So then I started a fire in the fire place. I got the feeling that I was only supposed to put one log, because it was burning a lot. It was really just glowing red, there really wasn't fire. But I think it felt too hot or something in the dream. (Maybe my blanket was on too high?)

There were cigarette butts on the floor. There was an implanted context in my dreaming mind that my Dad had been a smoker, and now he was smoking in this new house. The dream context was that he had smoked all along and just hid it from me. (I have a major aversion to smokers and cigarette smoke in waking life and if my Dad started smoking it would really be tough since I live with him). There were also some latin american guys who were going to help us with stuff. I think I remember remembering more of this at some point but I forgot. It was a pretty complex scene.

Now this part I am sure is from this "round" of dreams.

My Aunt B and Aunt C were having some conversation about some life topics. Then I was sitting around with other people at the marble table in my Nana's room from when I was a kid but it was taller. There was a woman I was interested in at the door to my Nana's room. My Aunt was joining us at the table and I kind of felt weird about her joining us all. Probably because there weren't any other of my relatives there so it was kind of like "mixing worlds".

Then there was a class my cousin was in, like a Health class. I was there, sort of auditing the class from the side, to keep an eye on her. She didn't know I was there. The teacher was talking to her and some other guys in the class. She was saying that they should always have a good grasp of how to use "feelings words". At any given time they should be able to think of some feelings words and use those. (Good advice for me!) Then the teacher gave some examples of using feelings words that I forgot. My cousin saw me and expressed her surprise that I was there. I told her, yeah, I am just following the class or something. (I guess this is because my younger cousin is away at school now and maybe I hope she is only having good influences during her time there.) I may have had a skate board or been riding a skate board during this time.

I forgot some other parts of the dream that would have been here.

Then there were these long balance bars or metal rod type of things standing up against the walls. My friend Chris from grade school was there. I was moving the metal rods but I think I wasn't supposed to. I think I was examining the physics of them, but not even in a pre lucid way. Just as a thing I was doing in the dream.

This next part is kind of hard to explain. I climbed up this jungle gym type of thing and I was falling off the side. The physics were a little different from waking life, but I didn't notice. Then I was in the middle of the thing, kind of in a square? I think i did something they didn't want me to. then another guy, someone like my friend Jeff T or Pat S, scolded me. I felt upset about that. I think I exited the square part going down a slide type of thing. It was kind of vague but that is the most accurate I can be about it.

Then there was a part about how my friend Chris has somehow wronged me or taken my money. So I was taking his money and then running away. (This might reflect a gripe I have with the grocery store because it seems that one of every three or four apples I get is rotten on the inside lately, and I want them to give me free apples to make up for it, but I don't keep the rotten apples to prove it to them) .

So then I was sort of running through a school. I was running through the hall way and thought the home economics room would be the safest place. I could feel I was being chased. It wasn't that much fear but just a mild chase feeling.

When I got into that room, I felt safer. There was a 50 dollar bill and a 20 dollar bill on a counter top. I remember looking at the money and it looked like waking life money to me. I thought of taking it and putting it in my wallet but I decided not to. Then I was sitting at this other table and trying to write on some paper. I was totally non lucid, but I think I was trying to journal what had happened so far, which is cool. Writing in the dream didn't work like it does in waking life. I was using a pencil on lined paper. Then some stuff happened in the room that I looked around at. I looked back down and there was more writing on the paper than there was before I looked away. I wasn't doing a dream state check, that was just what happened in the dream. Then, the paper became graph paper. I was trying to write an uppercase "I" to start a sentence but it was coming out all funny. I thought of using the lines on the graph paper to sort of trace the shape of the letter but it wasn't working that way, either.

My friend Pat was sitting to my right. He wasn't talking to me. It was like he was mad at me from what happened before, but not scolding me or anything. Just sort of waiting for me to talk to him or being in my company but silently. It was kind of comforting of a feeling, like we were still friends, just kind of at odds a little, one waiting for the other to break the ice.

Rather than bring up our past squabbles, he tried to help me with writing. It still didn't work, but that was nice. Then at the left end of the long table we were at, some girls sat down and some guys joined them too. One I think was Tom from my high school. I didn't recognize the others. There was a T V monitor at the end of the table showing a video of a girl. (Note to self #3*)
The girl from the video was actually sitting to the right of the video, showing it to everyone. That group of guys and girls was not really part of my group but just using the empty table space. There was another girl to her left and then maybe two guys accross from them, on my side of the table. I remember in the dream, thinking, wow, she is showing a video of herself. That is so weird to see a video of a person who is right next to the screen.

Then apparently Arnold Schwarzenegger was coming through the room. He was understood to be the president in the context of this dream. He didn't look much like Arnold Schwarzenegger, he had a different kind of face, but his body was tremendous. Not really like a V taper but instead it was like his whole body was really wide and really tall, from shoulders to waist to feet. He was wearing some kind of black suit. He had some body guards with him who were a bit smaller, but also kind of tall.

I was sitting there trying not to look too busy so that in case the president wanted to talk to me, I would seem to be available. I thought the president would want to talk to me about something, such as asking my advice for what to do about the world.

The guys and girls next to us were talking about taking showers soon. I realized that I better get in there before they take up all the showers. I grabbed whatever towel I could find. It turned out to be my friend Pat or Jeff's towel, but by the time I realized that, I was already in the room with the showers. There was another towel hanging on the door. I felt bad for taking my friends towel but didn't want to go all the way back there to return it. I considered using another one of the towels in the showering room but those probably belonged to other people, too. I think I used my towel to hide a bunch of clothes covered in poop earlier in the dream... LOL.

Then I realized I had to take a dump. So I went in the shower and hoped there would be time that I would have the place to myself before that other group of people got to the bathroom. I squatted down all the way and started to poop in the floor of the shower. I figured it would all wash down the drain! LOL. Then I looked toward the door and I saw my reflection. it was funny because it was moving out of sync with my own movements of my "dream body". I noticed this in the dream but it didn't come as a dream sign, it just seemed kind of funny to me. So as I squatted there, I kind of played with this out of sync reflection. Then I figured I was done pooping and looked down. The floor was brown where I had been squatting over but there wasn't poop, just brown spots. I forgot to wash it down into the drain, whatever it was. I knew the group of people who sat at our table could have come in at any time and I really didn't want the embarassment of them finding out I had pooped there. Then my friend came in for his towel and I told him sorry i accidentally took his. I hadn't used it yet, or really even showered. I guess the dream changed after that and I forgot I was going to shower. In fact, the whole room changed into like a combination of a library and a kitchen.

There was this one part where I was walking through a library. An Indian fellow I knew from college was saying how planks (the abdominal exercise) didn't matter. I was saying that they weren't a major muscle group so that made sense. Then I realized they are a core exercise and the core is a major muscle group. Then, I told him that. There were book shelves around. I think I spoke to him from the other side of a 4 or 5 foot book shelf.

Then I had all of my stuff in a big plastic storage bin. It was a see through plastic bin. In that bin were a bunch of smaller see through bins. It wasn't really all of my stuff, but just in the context of the dream, it was thought to be all of my stuff. I had everything I needed except a tooth brush case. My friend George F was there and he heard of my predicament. He was telling me about some tooth brush cases he had as well as two bottles of different kinds of green tooth brush cleaning liquids. One said 50 gallons of galantamine on it, and it was a dark green color. It was known as green apple. I think the other was a brighter green. This one was like a dark aqua green.

Earlier in the dream, I forgot exactly where, I was trying to hide a bunch of my clothes that were covered in poop. I had them in a pile and really didn't want people to find out I had poop on my clothes. I was trying to jam them under a table of some sort and cover them with a towel or other clean article of clothing. I was kind of panicking about hiding them.

I woke up on my left hand side. I felt dissappointed at first because I couldn't think of any of the dreams. I thought it was going to be a night of grogginess and no dream recall. But then, one by one, things started coming to mind. Once I felt I had thought of as much as I could, I got up to write. I had shoulder pain from laying on my side, so I had to roll over before I could recollect all the memories. But I actually found a way to sleep on my side without as much weight on my shoulder that I am trying and it is helping not have as much shoulder pain when I wake up, which should mitigate this problem.














Round 4 of dreams.
"First time doing nose pinch breathe test".

Before this round of dreams, I did my "workout back to bed" method where I use my exercise bike and stretch a little before laying back down. It usually helps me become lucid for some reason. I laid back down on my left side and had difficulty positioning my body at first but eventually I got to sleep.

I forgot a lot of the earlier parts of this dream.

Then I remember seeing a guy I knew named Jesse talking to the "dream screen". He used to give me advice and was even kind of a mentor, and he was saying some of the kind of advice he used to give me. I forgot anything more specific than that. Then it showed him saying that he had a red minivan. Then, the dream screen showed him sort of ghost riding the red minivan into an alley way. It was like a red jeep or mini van thing.

Then the "dream video" showed this kind of tricycle thing a kid was riding and it would zip accross the screen. There was a kid riding the tricycle. It may have been pink at one point. When it zipped accross the screen, it was more white and black. It looked like a funny MS Paint image moving accross a video taken by a video camera, like a way of editing the video. Like clip art super imposed on a regular video.

Then there were more parts I forgot. Try as I may, I couldn't remember them. So I don't know how I got from one part to the next, but the next part I remember, I was lucidly aware it was a dream.

I was telling a kid at a computer that I was willing to help him with fixing something on the computer. He was at a cubicle and there were more cubicles in the room. I forgot who the person at the computer was, or what the computer problem was, but I know I felt sort of honor bound to follow through with helping fix his problem. The computer problem was probably that it was a dream and computers in dreams are different sometimes!

Anyway I decided to stop doing that and fly away, telling myself I would get back to it later. I knew it was a dream. I flew over to a tree.

I was on the second branch of the tree and decided I wanted to climb the whole tree, because that would be cool in a dream. Then once I did that, I told myself, I would go finish helping that guy with his computer troubles.

I don't remember what else happened there. I might have climbed the tree or finished helping the guy but I don't remember! I guess some lucid stuff happened but then maybe I forgot it was a dream or maybe I still knew it was a dream. But here is what I remember next.

I was with some girls in the mall, or just watching them talk from a distance. There was something to do with food, maybe I was eating, or they were. A blonde girl seemed to be the center of everyone's attention. (Note to self #4*) I wasn't really comfortable with what they were talking about and I tried to stay away. I also had the idea of protecting my younger cousin or sister from what they were talking about.

Then I was on a computer. There was some kind of music playing. I knew it was a dream but I didn't want anyone to overhear the audio that was playing. It may have been kind of awkward to listen to. It was as though the mall scene became a video I was watching, then I was sitting outside the screen watching it there, only now I could see it was just on a screen within the dream, not the actual scene I was actually in within the dream. So I closed that window to make my computer stop playing it. Down by the download bar, there were three files that said lira.pdf. L I R A dot P D F. There was also a file I didn't catch the name of in between them. Then, a Beyonce type of song played and I wanted to close whatever window that was coming from. I couldn't close it or stop the music so I went to put the computer to sleep. I don't know if I lost lucidity temporarily or what happened in terms of lucidity but I know for sure I was lucid within a few moments of this. So I tried to open the computer's "start" menu to put it to sleep, but the start menu had no words in it. It was all blank. So I thought I would just do a manual shut down, and I pressed the manual shut down button. I was afraid I would lose all my windows and files, which is why I think I might have had a temporary gap in lucidity during this part. I could understand being lucid and wanting to stop the sound so i could continue the dream. But i can't see being concerned about saving files if I knew it was a dream and not my waking life computer. (Next time I am in a dream and some music or sound is playing that I want to shut off, I might actually try to just listen to it. Maybe it would have a message for me! It is kind of habitual for me to want to shut it off but I don't think the dream is playing it just to annoy me)

When I stepped back from the computer, I saw I was at a desk similar to my desk in waking life, with two big blinders on either side I made from dresser drawers. The room lights were on. I was actually in my bedroom from the last house I lived in, not this one, but didn't catch that until I had woken up. I thought it might be a dream, and I tried putting my right finger through my left palm. No luck. It didn't go through! Sometimes my "dream body" is too "solid" or something. But then, I tried a little more, and I saw it come out the other side a little. For me, the finger didn't really go through all the way this time. It just made a dent on the other side of my left hand that wouldn't have happened in waking life. It kind of hurt, like it usually does. Does that hurt anyone else?

So that was enough for me to know I was in a dream. I looked around the room and saw a desk with stuff on it on the side of the room to my right. So I had two desks in that room on different walls. I felt kind of panicked for some reason, maybe because I could sense the dream was about to end? I decided to keep playing around with the finger palm test and see what I could observe from just continuing to do that over again. This might have been when I tried to remember the topic of the year or month but maybe that was a different time.

then I thought of the nose pinch breathing test and decided to give it a go. I had never tried it before in a dream. I was already lucidly aware but just wanted to see what really happened. So I put my right hand up to that nostril, then my left hand up to the other, and I basically pressed the nostrils. Now, if my finger could pass through my hand, how do my fingers be solid enough to press my nostrils shut? But I guess it does that. It felt like I was pressing my nostrils closed, but that I could breathe at the same time. I think I sat in my swiveling desk chair and closed my dream eyes to just sort of meditate by breathing with my nostrils pinched. I could feel the dream chair swiveling as I did it and I thought I would get a bonus spinning effect to increase stability in addition to getting the dream state check really thoroughly. It felt cool to breathe in and out deeply. I also thought of rubbing my hands. It is funny how my mind jumps to the next thing so quickly even when I am lucidly aware.

(It reminds me of how I am when I try to meditate. Okay, let's sit down to meditate. *Starts to breathe in* Oh , wait, let me go do this or that. *Gets up and does that*. My mind sort of jumps away and I follow it. So maybe practicing meditation in a lucid dream will help me meditate better in waking life, which I used to be much better at. )

I heard some really nice instrumental music playing and I thought another dream would begin to begin. But I woke up in my physical bed. I maintained the deep breathing as I thought through the dreams.

I felt I had only a limited memory of the dream, and some parts that definitely felt memorable at the time just weren't coming to my mind. I was so relieved when at least that red mini van part came to mind. That one surprised me because it was a while after I felt like I had already got everything. I thought if I stayed still, I could have a wake initiated lucid dream while still remembering that past one. But I couldn't stay still, too much energy, so i got up to write.

I thought that lucid dream was really memorable because it was my first time nose pinch breathing. Also, I breathed in and out fully within a dream, which was one of the beginner tasks. I sort of did it with that task in mind, which was helpful.


























Round 5 of dreams.

I got up from these dreams without any memory. Actually, I stayed still, but couldn't remember anything. At first, I had some memory perhaps of some Latino or African American people. There was this one word or phrase in my mind that seemed like it would stick in my memory. But as soon as I got up to use the bathroom, it was like it was snatched away.

I remembered a part of the dreams, I think from round two, of a double double Pokemon battle. So, it was like a quadruple battle. There were four Pokemon circle thingies and two Pokemon in each, two on one side, two on the other. One was about to use a water move or a thunder move that would affect all 7 other Pokemon on the field. I was like, I didn't know they had quadruple battles now. I don't rememember the Pokemon who were there. I remember it was like your standard video game battle screen with the Pokemon on the bottom left and top right, and stats on top left and bottom right. That was pretty cool to remember something all the way back from my second round of dreams. I had thought of it then, I am sure, in a brief period of waking, but fallen back asleep.

So then I fell asleep on my right side again. It was already light out, but I did my best to ignore that. With a pillow under the right side of my torso, I didn't get that pinched nerve in my right shoulder, which enabled me to stay still long enough to sleep again.








Round 6 of dreams. .

First dream I remember, I wasn't even sure if it was a dream, or just my conscious imagination. But I think it was a dream. I was on the road perpendicular to the road I live on, and I had a female dog with me. The leash she was on had infinite length and she ran to the neighbor's fence, trying to go under it or something. I figured there was a dog she was friendly with there. I woke up from that kind of surprised it was just a dream. I was trying to think if female dogs behave that way.

Then, I had a dream I forgot. I think this was my first one in this series where I had this false awakening but became lucid within it. However, I don't remember the specifics.

Next, I had a dream that was kind of personal, so I will just make a note to self #1* about that. But I didn't realize it was a dream until after.

Then, I had another false awakening thing. I think that I had a few more false awakenings in here that I just couldn't remember. I kept dreaming of getting up out of bed and then realizing it was a dream. They seemed like they would last forever. I think my sister was in one. There may have been one with a dark haired or black haired girl.

The parts I start to remember clearly start here. I had another thing where I thought I had gotten up in waking life but it turned out it was just a dream. I might have done the finger palm test here and it poked through just a tiny bit. I remember there were a bunch of televisions all around me, playing different stuff. I wanted to calm down and avoid being overstimulated by them so it wouldn't wake me up. I knew it was a dream. Then I was in this blue locker room thing with lots of aisles. I was kind of chilling out, trying not to adrenalize or do anything too extreme. Then, I looked to the end of the locker room, and I just thought I would like to rocket myself to the very end of it. So I flew there as fast as I could and stopped. I flew by some people going that way. I decided I would fly back after that, so I jumped up, exhaled really hard, and tried to fly. but I could only fly very slowly, making this funny whoopie cushion noise with my mouth. On my left, I saw a beautiful blonde haired girl at some kind of cubicle with some lights shining on her face. I flew by her though. Someone I flew directly over gave me a funny look. I woke up.

I think there were a little more parts I forgot.

Then, I remember this part outside of a store. I wasn't lucid yet I don't think. I was dream chaining so some dreams in the dream chain, i was automatically lucid. And some dreams in the dream chain, I had to wait to get a DILD. This was one where I had to wait to get a DILD.

In this one I found myself outside a store, listening to two kids talk. Their Dad was this guy Eric I used to see more often. He smoked cigarettes, which I usually don't think is good. The kids were saying how he really isn't capable of being too much of a bully, but he is not capable of being too sensitive, either. They sounded kind of sad. They were saying how he made a lot of money on a Youtube video contract. I guess Eric was more on my mind because I have been passing by his house more often on my walks to the grocery store.

As I was listening to the kids talk, I think I noticed I might be dreaming again. I don't know exactly how I noticed that, but I started to run. It was a beautiful day with a blue sky and all of the buildings were neon orange, neon green or neon yellow. I decided just to go for a run in the dream, which was lots of fun. There was this interesting lightly colored stone statue in the middle of the town that had something written on it in a stone carving. I kind of did a double take to try to read it, but didn't feel capable of stopping long. I don't remember what it was now but it gave me the feeling of some reading on someone's grave stone. That was when I realized that I felt like I was going against the grain of the dream. So I stopped and asked the "awareness behind the dream", "hey, what is your will for me now?" I kind of wanted to go more with the flow of the dream, but I didn't feel like I could get into the flow of the dream. So I kept running up this hill, noticing the neon pastel yellows, oranges and lime greens of the many buildings. To my right , I saw what looked like a prison with bars in front of it. There were men in dark blue uniforms out front I thought could be police officers. I was scared that they would stop me and take me into dream prison but I was able to run right by. There seemed to be some other dream figures being incarcerated.

Then, I sort of woke up from that, but somehow I maintained the feeling of running. This was really interesting. I maintained the feeling of my body running while the "dream screen" showed me these green binary ones and zeroes on a black background. There was also some white shiny lining behind the binary code. I continued to feel my body run and look at this binary code, knowing my physical body was laying still in my physical bed. At some point, it started to scare me, like it might go on forever, and my soul would be stuck there? So I willed my body out of bed, not knowing that I was willing my astral or dream body out of bed, like I did by accident earlier in the night.

Then, I was laying in my bed on my right side again, like the way I had fallen asleep. I thought it was my physical bed. I heard some audio playing. There were actually two recordings going at once. One, I figured I could have left on when I went to sleep, even though upon reflecting now I know I did not have any audio on when I went to sleep this time. This was one of the first times I had a false awakening that started laying on my side in bed, but I actually noticed it was a false awakening. So that is a big sign of progress.

I sort of rolled over to my front and saw two ipods, a blue one and a bigger old fashioned black one. I un plugged the blue one, and now I only heard the second audio. It wasn't coming from the black i Pod. I wasn't lucid yet. I walked along the side of my bed there and found the other audio was coming from this radio thing in the wall. It had a knob that I dialed to the off position. It was kind of a red knob, poking out of my closet. The dream state indicators were beginning to pile up but I wasn't lucidly aware yet.

Then, I saw all these stickers on the wall near the left hand side of my door. My wall was a mix of orange and pink and I knew those stickers weren't there in waking life, so I became lucid. Yay! I thought to myself that I am just in a really long chain of false awakenings and this is so fun. I felt like it would go on forever!

I think the radio came back on, or I never fully turned it off. I turned it off again, but I had the feeling that turning it off was "my will" where as maybe the "dream intelligence" wanted me to just stop and listen to it. I heard some of the words but I don't remember them.

There was one part, which was either in this dream or earlier, where I realized the dream chain was going on so long that I would like to stop and recollect the events, while remaining in the dream. Perhaps try to jot down some dream journaling within the dream or otherwise think back through it. (One of my biggest dream intentions is to ask the dream itself for an increase in dream recall, or to help me remember the dream in 100% detail. And I will promise the dream to write out every bit and piece of the dream that comes to mind. But I didn't do that this time.) I find that in dreams, I have a hard time staying still long enough to really do something like that which requires me to sort of sit and focus.

Also, this may have been earlier, or maybe it was in this one. I remember a yellow green thing and a sky blue rectangle thing. I remember wondering what I could think of to do, and not being able to think of much. (Note to self #2*)

So I felt that I needed to go pee, which would make sense by now, having been dreaming for what felt like so long. There was this black toilet kind of thing that appeared when I turned in one direction. I almost went, then thought, maybe I could just wait until i get up. I was afraid to wet the bed, and I didn't need to go very much. (I have actually peed in lucid dreams and not peed in real life though)

So then, I was realizing I really want to do something cool. But I couldn't think of anything. I found a wall mirror that was about shoulder width, one of those 3 to 5 foor tall by one to 1.5 foot wide ones. And I talked to myself in it. My eyes got kind of slanty and it looked cool, but other than that, it looked like me. I was telling myself, come on, Charles, we gotta think of something we really wanted to do! I think I remembered to ask the dream what its will for me was again but I am not sure. I remember realizing that I wanted to help someone in a dream, which is really good for me to remember. I walked in to one room kind of thinking that but I didn't officially ask the dream. But the dream must have read my mind and made it happen. Then, I heard my sister in another room. At first it was oriented like the house I live in now. But then, it was kind of a different kind of house I had never been in. I actually heard my Mom's voice calling to me. So I went to where I heard her calling from. It was this room that had a door to it on either side, as if it was between two hallways.

There was a big bed in the middle and to the left of that bed, she was doing art on an easel. I had entered from the right hand side of the room. She was painting, drawing or coloring some kind of orange and yellow butterfly. I immediately remembered my other L D from a few days ago where my Mom was being really nice to me, and I wanted to compliment her on her art, but my dream mouth was too full of dream food! So I was so excited to have another chance.

I immediately went, something like, "Mom, your art is so beautiful!" She seemed surprised. I think she was just asking me for help with something minor around the house or something. But I flew accross the bed, still lucidly aware, and gave her a big hug. I said something like, "I love you, Mom!" Apparently I didnt have a shirt on, even though I think I did in the mirror before. Apparently I was sweaty, too, and my Mom was like, you're all sweaty. L O L! She was wearing some kind of knitted sweater. I told her I would wash it for her so no worries. She started saying how she needed help with organizing her art awards. Then, I woke up in my physical bed.

That was SO AWESOME. That was definitely one my best L D's ever so far. I remembered a really positive and wholesome intention. I think listening to 3 to 4 hours of Robert Waggoner interviews from You Tube gave me a lot of inspiration for how cool of a thing can happen in a dream.

As I was dreaming, I was aware that I was sleeping in much later than usual, but luckily, I had no prior arrangements. My schedule in my waking life is pretty flexible. So this dream chain was a huge, huge bonus, because I already had a nap the day before and a full nights sleep.

I stayed perfectly still upon awaking that last time, thinking through it. I actually thought if I stayed still long enough, I might have more dreams, or an O B E. I remembered as much as I possibly could, and even felt some sleep paralysis kick in.

What my body will do is either stay still and go to sleep, or if it doesn't want to sleep, it will stretch out like a big lion, flexing every muscle, with a big yawn. When that happens, I usually assume I am done sleeping for now. I definitely am very satisfied with this experience and I feel great right now, even with having forgot certain parts of the dream.

I remember waking up between earlier dream segments, thinking about them, and thinking I was formulating a memory. but then a new dream would begin. So, I guess I didn't consciously form and store the memory solidly enough.

In dream chaining, I look at those dreams I forget kind of like a gamble. I might remember them, but I might forget them. Either way, I will go deeper into the dream chain, and maybe have more dream experiences that I will remember, so it is kind of worth it to keep dream chaining, in my current analysis.

I feel really happy now. I think it would be nice to tell people I care about that I love them in more dreams. The thing about this is, in waking life, there are usually barriers to how much love I can express towards someone I care about. Like it will feel weird to express that much love. But in a dream, the same barriers aren't present, so I can fully express my love for someone I care about. If it was actually a shared dream with my Mom, where perhaps she was not lucidly aware it was a dream, but I was, she might not remember it, but she would definitely have an inner sense of happiness from that, too.







At some point, I also remembered to think of the task of the month and year. I am pretty sure I remembered to think of it.

Morning of February 10, 2018. Saturday.



These segments come from the last two hours or so of sleep, of which there are usually a dozen or more segments, not counting the circadian rhythms autosymbolism of which I rarely document anymore, as it is usually of the same imagery or implication (other than at 07 here).

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04. Zsuzsanna is in our bed, apparently sleeping, though it is on a beach. Ocean waves are rolling in, but not as a threat, more like associations with the healing nature of sleep (as water is autosymbolism for the dream state itself).

05. Three unknown girls are together, seemingly sharing one drink (in one glass) but they eventually start shifting identities and appearance too fast to really acknowledge with stable dream self focus, about one per second, which is usually an apex lucidity trigger. In this case, I feel that one may be meant to represent Zsuzsanna. However, upon approach, they are all mannequins, which is RAS autosymbolism from the dream self not having a real physical body, the same as with dolls and robots when rendered as such.

06. I am watching a gondola, trying to decide if I want to be in it, vaguely remembering the autosymbolism for going to another level of unconsciousness (and water reinduction).

07. I am standing at a window (perceived as our bedroom window), undressed, in semidarkness, looking through rattan blinds. I vaguely consider, in only partial lucidity, that this is “wrong”, without fully realizing that our bed’s head is adjacent to the window in reality (thus no place for me to stand), and that we no longer have the blinds after they were destroyed in the November storm that had torn the roof from our house. I have long believed that, other than prescient threads, dreams typically render everything wrongly so as the perceptions do not become a part of viable unconscious memory as in contrast to faux RAS-based memory, which is specifically used in RAS mediation (neural gating) for sleep-wake transitions. This is in contrast to all the people who write about the “subconscious”, of which nearly all that is written is based on incorrect beliefs or popular superstition.

11. I am somehow able to see my feet and legs through my bed sheet, which is transparent. Oddly, even though I had been lucid moments before, I am trying to assign this to a real-life featue. Meanwhile, I “remember” that Zsuzsanna is sitting on a beach, waiting for a healing ritual in sleep paralysis. (A beach is a liminal space transition between different levels of unconsciousness and is used as such in mastership meditation.)

12. I seem to be in Cubitis, and if so, it is likely implied to be a backroad between my old rural home and where I went to school in town. I watch a tortoise as it crosses the road, from my side to the opposite side (west to east). Eventually, four small flames emerge from the tortoise’s shell, one from where each leg had retracted. Apparently, it becomes a miniature version of Gamera (the otherwise giant flying turtle-like monster or kaiju from a series of Japanese films). (This is apparently a carryover from a dream of February 3, where a flame comes from each bottom corner of each boxcar that flies in the air. The association seems to be that, as turtles can symbolize the dream self as being asleep in reality, a boxcar is also a setting where people sleep, such as homeless people in transition. I had not made that obvious connection on February 3.) I look back to see tidal pools and recognize this as water lowering waking symbolism in addition to the return flight waking symbolism (most common form due to ambiguous vestibular system dynamics naturally triggered by being unconscious in REM.)

13. In my most vivid waking transition, I am in the backyard at Stadcor Street in Brisbane (Wavell Heights), where we have not lived in years. The backyard is bigger and the house is implied to be more north of a much wider side yard area at the south. There are also several trees throughout the backyard, of which were never there in reality. It seems to be early morning and is still somewhat dark out but clear enough to see most detail. I sense the waking alert factor (WAF) of RAS mediation (though in false lucidity, not active), but I wish to explore more. However, RAS will have none of that. A large cane toad is present as RAS. It becomes a pest. Vestibular system ambiguity becomes more dominant and the toad swells up like a puffer fish and moves through the air as if manipulated by a varying wind (but not very realistic, as it moves through the air too slowly to be a factor of wind). At one point, as it slowly randomly blows about in the air, yet I just happen to be in its path, the cane toad’s mouth makes contact with my hand. I continuously remain wary of it, and maintain focus on its parotoid glands, though I notice there is minimal bufotoxin already on its body. It is quite silly really; a puffed-up cane toad being carried about by a nearly non-existent wind and tapping against my arms or hands at times as if it was based on magnetism or as a metaphor of slowed film footage. (I guess it is better than being “surprised” by the core WAF as a vivid rendering of a snake, of which apes and even lemurs probably dream about a lot as well.) I eventually wake.

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I decided that it was a bit much for me to go back and highlight everything in color that was lucid. So it is all non lucid until otherwise noted. And then if you wanted to read the lucid parts just do a search and skip ahead to those.


I know I should probably be interested enough in my own dreams to go back through them but some nights like last night, where I had some amazing dreams, I just am so frustrated with having forgotten so much that I don't even want to think about my dreams.


I was able to fall asleep probably around 9. I felt tired around 6:30 or 7 but couldn’t sleep. I napped two hours during the day but I was still tired. I just couldn’t sleep for some weird reason. Reading some of my older dream journal entries seemed to be helpful.



Round 1 of Dreams
Something about driving to my sister, on a road near a local hospital. There was more that happened before this but this was all I got. I had been telling her something that may have been too much for her to know. We were coming from some kind of meeting or class setting. Maybe she had gotten some kind of special coffee. It was like we were driving, and I needed to go fast with certain intense kind of metal music on, I am not exactly sure why. Something about a way I coped. But that wasn’t good for her. There was something to do with time? Maybe some kind of meeting. There was some kind of design she drew in the sand or dirt on the ground, with a stick. I drew a similar design but at different angles.
At another point, it was like she was pulling some stones out of the ground. They left triangle shaped marks in the ground where they had been pulled from. This seemed not okay to do at first but it was fine.
Dad was saying how she should eat something like eleven to twelve fresh strawberries every day, referring to a nearby wild garden. I got the sense that he was sacrificing his strawberries for her to be able to have more. It might have also meant for me to eat strawberries or for her to feed the bird strawberries. Dad wouldn’t get any strawberries. I was wondering how he would do that when he should really “put on his own oxygen mask first”.
Then my sister was holding up a small stick from a tree that had some sap dripping from it. We were both saying and thinking how she should be careful not to get pregnant from all that tree sap.
We had a bird. I think it was a yellow bird. It seemed to like walking on a tread mill, and if we let it walk on a tread mill, it would just completely lose track of time for days. There was a woman showing one of those new fangled hamster wheels that have the disc they can run on, its like a diagonal disc instead of a wheel thing. The woman was spinning it in her hand and saying how we can’t give treadmills to birds any more. Then she showed us to a part of the wall that disappeared and had a hallway behind it.
The idea was to make the bird use its mind and meditate, not just become a “mindless cardio bunny”.
I would have remembered these dreams much better, but I woke up on my left side, with a nerve being pinched. Before I even knew I had woken up, I must have felt the nerve pinch and rotated onto my front. Then, I was on my front, and my neck was twisted badly, so I thought I should really go to my back. So I had to do all this moving before I could think of the dreams. I’m sure if I had been able to stay still, or move less, I would have got what it was I was telling my sister. I was frustrated because there was a lot lost.



Round 2 of Dreams.

It took me a while to fall back asleep. My shoulders were having a pinched nerve on both sides so I couldn't sleep on my side. Between that and the frustration of forgetting the previous dream, and other factors, I had trouble sleeping. I eventually found that I could slide a pillow underneath my side to take pressure off my shoulder and fell asleep on my right side.

First, in this dream, I was in some kind of a class setting. I think there was some negative feeling, maybe conflict or fear. I have a vague sense of it but nothing I can put into words. This frustrates me very much because I don't remember how I got to the lucid part.

Once I became lucid, I was in this office type of thing. Then I was in this hospital type of room and there was a kid on the bed. He had brown hair in a bowl type of haircut like I had growing up. Not sure exactly the age but young. He had his front two teeth and his lateral incizors, but the teeth outside those were missing. I noticed this discrepancy (I am missing my front lateral incizors) but I figured this was a version of myself as a child. It took me a moment. What it felt like was that I was dreaming from the viewpoint of that child for a while, and the next thing I knew, I was my adult self looking at the child. I said hello or something like that and we talked. Again, I can only remember this vaguely, which really frustrates me. It is so devastating to lose dreams like this.

There was this tablet with a blue light filter on it that kept falling. It was his tablet. I was able to telekinetically keep picking it up for him before it fell. I think as the dream went on, he became younger, closer to a baby. I think he fell at one point, but I used telekinesis to get him into my arms.

There was a little torch lighter, with the bendable hose part, that he was playing with. This didn't seem safe.

At one point, we were towards the end of the room and there was some kind of female nurse there. I thought of trying to talk to her but realized I was with the child now.

I had the child in my right arm, and noticed the fingers of my left hand were really crazy. I had a thumb, two fingers, then two missing stubs of fingers, then three more fingers. I showed the child, look, my hand has a lot of fingers. I already knew it was a dream.

The torch lighter kept falling and I wanted to put it away. I had the thought that I might be in my subconscious, so maybe I should put the torch lighter in a safe cabinet, where the child can't get it and burn up the place when I am not there. There were all these silver cabinets and I found one to put it in. This whole part of the room seemed to be stainless steel. I found a cabinet on the right hand side that I wanted to put it in, but couldn't get the latch to open for me to put it in there. I guess I let that go after that.

Then, I had the baby child in my left arm. I wish I had thought to talk more to the baby child. Instead, I was sort of acting as if I were in my own dream by myself, with no one there, just that I was holding this object for some reason. So I kind of missed out on that chance, but maybe I wasn't ready.

I was near these sinks. To my right I opened a door to a stainless steel bathroom with a toilet hole in the floor. It was pretty dirty all over the place in here. There were two pretty grimy sponges near the sink, and all this grimy, gooey water. With the child in my arm, I decided that instead of flying away, I should clean the bathroom. Since I was thinking this was my inner mind, I figured cleaning the bathroom would be symbolic in some way. And a smart thing to do. I couldn't think of anything else to do, so I grabbed the less grimy sponge, and started to scrub the stainless steel of the bathroom. I guess I thought I was going to clean the whole thing.

Next, I noticed there was no ceiling in this place. Just walls that went up. So I flew up above the walls a little. When I looked down, I saw this big office space with people in cubicles. I knew I had seen this earlier in the dream. I was amazed at how my dream location was so solid, that a location from before was in the exact same place, looking just as it did the last time. I was a few floors up from them somehow.

I got the idea to fly down and fly around the office space. Then I kind of got the idea that I shouldn't do that, for whatever reason. It might get me in trouble or something. Well, I sort of ignored that instinct, and jumped down. Then, I woke up.

I definitely hope that next time I have the chance, I remember to just stop trying to be so busy doing things, and actually talk to the child. There was so much more I forgot that happened with the child. He was crying for something at some point and I got it for him with telekinesis.

It is so frustrating that I forgot so much of this dream. I stayed perfectly still upon awakening and thought through it. But, nothing else. No clue how I became lucid. No memory of at least half the stuff that happened when I was with the child. Sometimes dream recall can be torture for me because I find out how much I forgot.

I had a very short dream flash after I started to think through that lucid dream where it was a dark sky. There were two light-up letters, maybe H, U, or, H, A, or A, H, I am not sure any more. I could see it clearly when I was in the dream flash but I had forgotten moments later. The letters faded into a black cloud on the bottom of the dream "screen". Then there was a white light in the middle. I knew it was a dream flash all along, so it was kind of like the beginning of a wake initiated lucid dream, but I couldn't figure out how to extend it into a new dream.

After that I was awake, thinking through the dream. I had some sleep paralysis begin to set in and hoped another dream would begin, but it wasn't coming. I got up to write this one and now I will go back to sleep.





Round 3 of dreams. .

I remember there was some part with someone talking about something to do with safety? Not quite sure.

One part where I was in my high school. Maybe flying, but not lucid. Starting to think I might be dreaming.

There was another part when I was in the water. I forgot a lot of this, too. I remembered it at first but must have been tired.

This last part was very interesting. There was a woman who had sort of kidnapped me in the back seat of her car. She had a gun pointed towards me. Actually, she even shot me at one point, and I died. It didn't hurt, but I had the feeling that I died. i think I experienced something, but I am not sure. That was actually really cool.

Then, I was in that dream again, and she was driving me still. I was trying to play dead so that she wouldn't think she had to shoot me again, but I couldn't stay still. She started to aim the gun at me, and I realized I was dreaming. I had one of these moments where I said, you can't shoot me again, this is my dream. Then, I remembered the last time I did that in a dream, and the other dreamer didn't like that. So I said, well, it is both of our dreams. But I just don't want you to shoot me. And I both grabbed the gun with my dream hand and used some mental will to get the gun in my possession.

Then, instead of wanting revenge on her for putting me through this, I realized she must be in trouble if she had to hold me hostage. So, I decided, knowing it was a dream, to help her. I asked her more about why she had kid napped me, but I don't remember that much. She said she had some other salts in the car. I asked if they were for punishing me, and she said, yes. I didn't really get mad at her, though.

So I was sort of helping her find her way. We were 3 hours away from home. It was a silver or light gray mini van.

At one point, I thought she might have had the gun again. I had to double check that it was in my right hand pocket of my north face jacket. She had some stuff laid out on the floor. I think we had got to some sort of hotel.

Then there was a thing about how even if she didn't kill or torture me, other people would still come after me. So, we had to make it look like she had succeeded somehow. Then, all of these ransom note type things appeared on the screen. Maybe I had lost lucidity at some point, but becoming lucid and getting the gun from her might have been all I needed to consciously do.

She seemed to have dark hair. I think she was Italian. I think I almost asked her if she was Italian but didn't want to seem to be stereotyping her?

There was a lot more stuff in these dreams but I guess I slept on it more as I was laying there trying to remember it. I had difficulty sleeping tonight, so I can accept that I was just too groggy. But still, it hurts to forget, because the parts were definitely cool.

Oh, right, here is one part. Painfully vague, but I've got it. There was something about squatting over a squat toilet. My friend from High School Rich M was saying something. He was saying how it was hard to squat there for a while, so I said to eat some chicken while he does it. Then, he said that it would cause him to poop more from eating the chicken. But I thought, the chicken won't digest immediately and make new poop that has to go out until later.

I think there was a part with a girl I liked from high school. All of this is now painfully vague and I am somewhat upset about the memory loss.

I should have got myself up, but I didn't because I was still remembering details from the dream in my mind. I thought I should stay still to try to remember more of it, but then I guess as I was doing that, i fell asleep some number of times. That just means I was tired, and reasonably so. A lot of times, when I am not too tired, I think through the dream until i know I am done, then get right up to write it, without any risk of falling back to sleep.

There might have been something with my sister and a bird, unless that was an earlier dream. It could have been both this dream and an earlier dream.

Well, I will go back to bed now. i will try to see if I can recall any other parts.

When I was at the high school there may have been something about the A V club.









Round 4 of dreams.

These were cool but again I am very dissappointed with my dream recall.

So, there was something with my sister. We were in this room that had all white and dark brown stuff. It was like a bathroom or a mix of different rooms including a bathroom. There was something also mixed in about these people chanting some incantations around a ring to summon a fairy. The ring said Zelda on it. They were going to summon a fairy called Zelda, but I was thinking Zelda is a princess in the video game, but I didn't think she was a fairy. Anyway, it didn't have to be video game zelda. So then I saw two people, I think my sister on the right hand side, and myself on the left hand side, sitting on toilets in this white and brown room. I got the sense that my sister would be sucked through the toilet when the people summoned the fairy, but I was going to go with her. I was also eating something in the room. I had my multivitamins and chicklets. I was going to offer my sister some gum. I was afraid that it was too dirty of a room to eat in, because of there being a bathroom right near it.

In an earlier dream, there was a guy saying how something most people think is non violent might not actually be non violent. I forgot what it was but it seemed so insightful. It was something I never would have thought of.

Yeah, quite dissappointed with my dream recall tonight. I am pretty much always dissappointed with my dream recall right after the dream, because I am still aware of how much I forgot. Once I forget how much I forgot, and I am just left with the dream journal entries themselves, I don't have such bad feelings about it. Also, I think nights with better dream recall mean I am getting less deep sleep, so there will be a balancing effect where I get deeper sleep the other nights at the expense of dream recall.

I woke up from these dreams laying there for a few solid minutes (it felt like) before any dream details came to mind. I remember I was eating something, but it was so much food that I would have to put on an m p 3 to distract me from how much I had to eat. Also, I felt like I was laying there thinking of the dreams at times, but when I woke up physically, I couldn't remember a thing. Maybe I dreamed that I was thinking of it. I don't know.

Hopefully I can sleep one more time and have a dream I can actually remember well enough to be happy. But I will probably never be happy!



Round 5 of dreams. .

I slept again, and I know I had some dreams. My dreams over this last night were a lot harder to remember than usual, for whatever reason. I regret this but I guess it just means my body and mind needed some deeper and more restorative sleep. I kind of overdid it on some things lately and too much exhaustion seems to not be good for dream recall.

The one part of the dream I remembered was I was hearing this song. Maybe there was something on a table. I remembered the words to the song at first, but then forgot them. There was this rubber ball swinging around on a string. Then I heard a loud "thud!" either from waking life or from the dream, like an auditory hallucination. The "thud!" woke me up in a startle and my memory of dreams was completely wiped out. It might have been a thud from outside. I tried to stay still and think about the dreams, but couldn't get any.





Other Notes
Here is some other writing about my dream recall frustrations I did:

There may have also been some kind of creepy monsters in the earlier parts but that might have been something i was thinking about before I fell asleep. I was thinking about being nice to snakes I see when I am in the woods and how it would be cool to be able to befriend snakes even when most people would say it is dangerous, just by being very loving towards them on a deep level.


Forgetting so much of a dream like this really kills me. I am totally exasperated over this, because I feel I am doing everything I possibly can to maximize my dream recall. I don't know if anyone else has this level of pain over forgetting parts of their dreams, but I do. I just want to remember what happened in my dream, but all i get is like 25 to 50 percent. And I am stuck with that, no matter how much I try to visualize it or focus on it. The memories just seem to be gone.

Also I don't think I had any false awakenings.

Morning of February 9, 2018. Friday.



Today marks my 24th year in Australia and in being with the girl of my dreams, Zsuzsanna.

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I am going to try something new here. As I still have tens of thousands of dreams I have never posted online, including thousands from before I was even a teenager, I might try entries that include sequences of specific types in a series of no more than 12 for a specific part of the sleep cycle. Although I usually recall at least six longer dreams per normal sleeping time, there are many more of different but basic types that are mostly autosymbolic of the transitions between different times during sleep and of which I usually just pass through without drama. I am going to try this to see how it goes, randomly selecting dates, after this one, from over the last fifty years to see how the autosymbolic content has remained unchanged for the most part and perhaps note influences when I can. In some cases, I might include a very short summary of a dream I had already posted if it falls into the sequence of a certain dream type and time. The dreams are listed in reverse order, last one first. (Missing numbers are either related to private sections, abstract stages that cannot be described in words, or too long to post online.) (To quote the Yo-Yo man, “Try to remember everything you passed. But when you go back, make the first thing the last.”)

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12th There is one farmer working in a rice paddy. The water is lower when I look again later. (My dream self vaguely recognizes this as autosymbolism for the cessation of the dream state, water lowering waking symbolism, which has been as such since early childhood, having occurred as such through thousands of my dreams.) I do not speak to him but recognize the essence as RAS (personified preconscious). I eventually become aware that RAS has transmuted from a Filipino rice farmer into a Caucasian cowboy. He stands before a fence (my side), which is the division between dream self identity and conscious self identity, and I walk past him through an open part of the fence to wake. I do not speak to him, he nods, and I nod back. RAS mediation as utilizing a fence is less common than porches and doorways, or even parking lots, but does occur on a regular basis. RAS is typically more dominant or even aggressive when a porch is rendered as the waking space, probably because it implies that my dream self wants to remain “inside” for longer (that is, not wanting to wake yet).

11th I am walking over a large high truss bridge (unknown location) over water. I do not see any traffic. A bridge is autosymbolism for a transition in unconsciousness and the water lowers to become the rice paddy scene of the next segment.

08th I am walking through a circular tunnel, which I first consider, with a level of wariness, that it is the Large Hadron Collider. Still, it is mostly a featureless silver tunnel. I eventually consider it as just a transition between different levels of unconsciousness after briefly wondering if it is the inside of an airplane with no contents (including no seats or flat floor). There is sometimes a very vague sense of wariness when walking or sliding down through tunnels, not exactly claustrophobia (as I do not have this in waking life), just some sort of unusual level of awareness triggered by semi-lucidity. This is not usually the case with hallways of which are the same basic autosymbolism (dream state transition), though less transpersonal.

05th I usually have one dream per sleeping period that is either prescient or of another inexplicable factor. I am in the backyard of our present home and there is some sort of distorted event related to five cats in a large rectangular container full of dirt of which may be a plant pot. I get the impression they are not alive, being half-buried in the dirt, but the feature seems unusual. The cats are not fully grown. There is an odd impression that they might not be “real” cats, for example, a perception of thread instead of cat hair, and an odd sort of composition, and even separated “parts” of cats (though still five in total). After waking, Zsuzsanna had shown me an older cross-stitch she had done (of which she had taken out of a rectangular plastic box this morning, with no way of me knowing that she would be doing this). There were five cats on the item, with different coats, but each of the same appearance and sequence as each from my dream, though she had related the cross-stitch as being prescient of our final number of children and the ratio of girls to boys (based on the appearance of the cat’s coat as certain coats are only common to certain sexes, such as most gingers being male and most tortoiseshells being female). This does not mean there is any symbolic connection to my dream (that is, of the cats being linked to our children), as prescience and shared dreaming is often mixed in with other factors. The symbolism still validates the prescient connection, the cats being in a rectangular box, not being “alive”, and of an unusual appearance of thread (cross-stitch thread) mixed with hair.

02nd I mentally light a candle to see where I am (unrelated to the apnea events I experience very rarely, which is like mentally trying to will a candle flame back into existence with the fear it has gone out) and it is a small copper-walled room without much space. There is a focus on having recently taken the vocal out of David Essex’s “For Emily, Wherever I may find her”. “What a dream I had. Pressed in organdie. Clothed in crinoline…of smoky Burgundy. Softer than the rain.” Solely the isolated vocal plays from a gramophone, with an eerie echo. Sometimes when I strip the vocal out of a track in real life, it takes on a very unique quality, especially when I add certain kinds of reverb. I was thinking of using the isolated vocal in a new dub track I had already started (not for commercial purposes of course).

00 Induction stage. I walk down steps with the intention of going deeper into the dream state. They are outdoor concrete stairs in an area near buildings of which are covered with vines. When I was very young, I learned to manipulate levels of unconsciousness by going up or down stairs in dreams (in both lucid and non-lucid situations, as I have recognized dream symbolism for so long, I was manipulating it at six years of age - which eventually became non-lucid habit), which is autosymbolism for traversing the specific level of unconsciousness (and is used the same way in hypnosis and meditation). Outdoor stairs are sometimes modeled after the ones in Veterans Memorial Campground in West Salem (Wisconsin), where I sometimes spent time as a young boy.

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