lucid

I’m in the ICU helping out. D is there with a patient and I put an IV in her. I get it the first time and I’m impressed. I talk to D about her care. She’s pretty stable. As I start the IV I make sure I have control of the flow. I tell her it might hurt at first when the fluid goes in. She cringes in pain but it passes. I explain to her that she’s getting regular fluid because she’s dehydrated, not any medication. She had no idea and she’s very thankful I’m being open with her. She tells me she is so impressed with me and the way I handled the doctor (She doesn’t know D is my husband and not a doctor). There’s a fire alarm and we have to evacuate. I notice I never locked her bed and it moves as she does. I lock it and then promptly unlock it to leave. I’m the only one in the elevator and have to ask a Filipino maintenance worker which floor I”m supposed to go to. I had pressed level 1 but he told me level 2. I forget to change it on the elevator and we end up going all the way to 1. I press 2 and we have to wait. It made for a very long elevator ride. I guess it’s just like a big city hospitals, I thought. The patient started slumping over in her bed and looking pale. I asked if she was ok and she responded sluggishly. I raised the head of her bed. This happened a couple of times. I took her to the cafeteria to get her something to eat. The patient is sitting in the middle of a booth. I ask the patient if she wants saltine cracker or graham cracker. She tells me graham cracker so I go to find some. I realize I’m suddenly pushing her in a wheel chair and realize I’m dreaming. I leave her in the hallway and go into a hotel room where a hot and horny porn guy is laying in bed. I jump in the bed and say, “Guess what? This is a dream!” He kinda chuckles. “I’ll prove it to you!” I pick up a pack of peppermint candies from the bed and tell him to guess what’s in the package. He doesn’t but I imagine they’re miniature spearmint gums. I open it and they are! I laugh. He starts making out with me and after a few seconds I get up because I don’t want to lose lucidity to a sex dream. I go over to the window and think about things I’ve wanted to do while lucid. Flying! I could just jump out of this window! He walks up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. I look down and realize we’re very, very high up. I start getting nervous. What if I”m not dreaming and I just jump out of the window and fall to my death? “This is a dream, right?” I look back at him and ask. He just chuckles...he's proving very unhelpful and dull. I try pinching my nose (which never works for me) and am confused by the ambiguous results. That must mean I'm dreaming. He finally suggests to start out small. Great idea! Suddenly I’m on the road and think of getting onto some awnings on the city street to jump off of. He doesn’t think that’s a great idea. Then I had another idea! I took a few steps to my right and found myself in the center of major high speed traffic. I started jumping and flying over cars as they passed. I saw a lot of Idaho license plates, but it makes sense because this is Vegas. After doing that a few times I start flying without stopping by using a swimming motion. My calve starts burning and I figure it is cramping in real life, so I try to relax and keep going. I look behind me and my lover has gotten on some kind of silver flying machine and flies away. I go into a more secluded area that is really green with lots of trees. Suddenly I’m walking down a stone path thinking about my step-dad’s family road tripping around the U.S. I think it’s because I assumed I was now in the midwest. I come across these large stone baths aligned in a courtyard. I get into one. I’m trying to think of what I want to do. I thought about practicing summoning someone from nothing. I stood up and faced a wall. “When I turn around there will be…” I can’t think of anything I want to summon. I decide to try and bring that guy back but I have no idea who he was. I thought I recognized him but I can’t think of why. So I decided to keep it vague and summoned a similar hot guy. I turned around and nobody was there. I decided to start making out with the imaginary guy to see if he would appear. He didn’t and I was just making out with the stone. I leave and find something else to do. I go out into the courtyard and see a calf with bright patterns. It looked like he was wearing a sweater but he wasn’t. How cute. Then I decide to find a door so that I could open the door and find myself somewhere new. In my search for a door I wander onto someone’s New Zealand property and start getting followed by an older lady. She is highly annoyed with my shenanigans. I find a beautiful clear stream that has bright purple and green patches of moss in the middle and on the sides. I jump from patch to patch and they are so soft and bouncy. “How beautiful!” I exclaim with a big smile on my face. I think about making small talk but don’t want to push her. Somehow I find myself watching a screen of different movie choices. They were old Disney ones with Hillary Duff. One started playing and was comprised of two women having sex with a man. One of them was an actress I recognized. They were contorted and the point of view kept changing so it was a bit confusing. But I could almost feel one of the woman’s impending orgasms. Then she climaxed and everything stopped. They started congratulating her and telling her she did a good job and I accidentally entered the movie. She had given birth and the baby shot into another room. I found the body of what was supposed to be a baby except it only had a torso and one arm. It also had a tattoo. It was six months overdue. It was odd so I continued to my mission. The room I was in looked like my grandma’s living room and I was holding a type of flexible, pink/orange conch shell that kinda looked like a vagina. I put something in the center and rubbed to try and change it’s shape but it didn’t work. I closed the sliding wood door and held the shell in my hands like it was magical. That gave me the idea to imagine myself on the set of Once Upon a Time. I didn’t visualize anything particular, just the idea. So when I opened the doors it was just my living room with a few women on the couch. “Oh well.” I said. They looked at me with wide eyes, confused. I stared back, threw my arms in the air and jumped up while shouting, “woohoo!” at my lucid victories. I smiled big and ran into my room, where I woke up.


What a great way to start a new month! I learned that I have to be very specific with my requests and intentions to make things happen in my lucid dreams.

01.12.2015

Changing COD Username Never Felt So Hard (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I’m trying to change my username in a Call of Duty-esque related game, but as I’m doing this, I hear the bantering from two females that seem to have intentions of me not changing my username. I eventually do it, but it was just too annoying.

Then, when I tried to get on a server, I think I had to step into a portal to get into a game, but when I did so, and went around it, someone immediately killed me. It was an Asian male, and he was wearing a gray shirt with dark jeans. He had long hair that stretched all the way to his neck, and was probably in his early 30s.

I was irritated, and left the game.

_________________________

01.12.2015

Trying to Save Someone through Non-Sequential Tasks (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I’m trying to save someone, but I don’t know who in particular, and some sprite-animated anime girl with white hair, faded violet long trench coat, red shirt, and white tank top informs me that if I followed her instructions very clearly, I could save them.

It starts out, or my recall of it starts out with her instructing me, as if she’s talking to me via mind voice, of having to save certain images in certain formats that don’t really resonate to their respective formats. The one that I remembered the most out of the rest was her telling me to save a picture of Tsunade from the Naruto Shippuden series smiling in an .android format.

I was easily able to find an image, but it was most of her face being cut off, and it was in black and white.

I tried saving it the easy way of erasing the extension of the picture/gif, but wasn’t able to, for some reason. So, there’s this program that comes out of nowhere, the software-converter-ex-machina, which comes with all the formats I needed. I navigated through the software for a little bit, and it has some bland color of a dirtied-up vanilla, and the arrows to scroll down had this old Windows style to it.

I eventually saved it as an .android, and the moment I did this, some black rectangle with green words were portrayed transiently. The girl professed to me that the next thing I had to do was play same sprite-based, adventure game on the same computer/laptop I’m on. She gives me a vague concept of the plot of the game, or at least the deterrent set up that would make it somewhat tedious.

There were these female entities where if your character had their back facing them, they would subsequently slash behind your back, and it would be quite graphic a full of gore. I tried the first time to see if that would actually be the case, which it did. When I started navigating through the game, things became blurry for a bit, and I received some kind of message of ways I can figure out where I can find the person I’m trying to save. Within the message, I had two attachments of .xls documents, or Excel related documents. If I could figure out how to assess the instructions, the same black rectangle would show up on-screen with some green text, and a green checkmark with a rotating circle behind it confirming I solved it.

I believe the Tsunade picture was part of the objective, now that I think about it. I’m on my way to figure out the second .xls document, but I can’t recall what happens next.

I was looking forward and realized that I was now seeing stars rather than blackness. They looked a bit blurry, though, so I focused on them some more to make them vivid. I concentrated on transporting myself past a star in order to fly into outer space. I started off slow, but quickly picked up speed. In a few seconds, the stars flew by me at a great speed. I stopped myself and concentrated on transforming into a dolphin. I could hardly move, though. I put my legs out in front of me thinking it might be easier which it was. My legs melded together and I had a nice dolphin tail. I was able to put my tail behind me and enjoy the feel of it. I tried to get used to it more so it's easier to get in the future.

My attention switched to the basic TOTM. I looked around and saw there was a few dcs. I picked an overweight, middle aged, man with square, thick framed glasses.

"What would be a good task of the month?" I asked.
"That's too much information", he said.
"What would be something that would be fun to do in a dream? You know what a dream is, right?" I said. The dc just the gist of the question and thought about it.
"Write something down with a pencil and think about it." he said.
"Write something down with a pencil in a dream and think about it?"
"Yeah"
"That's a good idea!" I said sarcastically. I woke up.

It's currently a gloomy, windy, rainy start to Winter here and it's clear by now that the season affects me...I don't get SAD I just don't go out much, I don't get that all-important sun...that needs to change. Not many remembered dreams at the moment but I'm persevering with mantras and attempts to up my awareness...less impatience, steady forward-plod....I'm in that blessed state where I know I CAN do it I just need to find better ways.

So, after a total of 8 hours sleep and a WBTB I achieved a short lucid this morning. I think it was borderline because it was dark and there was no vividness but that blessed realization “this is a dream” popped up. I seemed to be in a seaside town, with 2 companions and we could see the lights of the town centre in the distance as we moved towards it.

Yesterday afternoon, as I sat down to meditate, I started by doing fairly deep conditioning re my main dream signs (not just reciting mantras, instead really picturing scenarios that contained the signs, as I mentally said things like “I'm dreaming...I'm lucid...I remember my dreams” (well buck up on that last one lately) and it may have made the difference.

In the lucid I'm pleased that I immediately went through reality checks...but forgetting to check my hands (which I love doing...that and pressing walls, which I did do) but already I could feel it slipping and I started to spin and it stabilized. I had pre-determined to look around and check everything but it was dark (a sign I think that I was always right on the edge of lucidity) Then it slipped again and I woke.

I need the brain boost that I think my new mate Psi could provide. The time is right, the conditions are right and I just need to find where he hangs out and that's the hard part. I thought I'd found him recently but, apparently, it was just someone who looked like him...gotta be careful, he has some really nasty companions...can't risk getting on their wrong side. I really need a change of local scenery...lots of fields with grazing cattle etc...places to walk and think things over and search...

Still ticking...

I realized I was dreaming while seeing my dad's ex wife alive which she is now passed away. Me and my brother walked outside of the building and I decided I wanted to fly on a broom Harry Potter style. Me and my brother collected some rooms from someone's porch. Then we took off flying over an apartment complex, I felt I had really good control by using the broom to navigate my flight. I soon woke up after flying for a little bit.

I was at a hiking trip high up in these beautiful mountains filled with green fields and snow on the top.
There was two sides of the mountain and there was a bridge so that you could get to the other side.
I was walking on the bridge then all of a sudden the bridge slowly collapsed.
I quickly grabbed the bridge fence(dont know what its called) and i was suddenly on this pillar thats left from the bride.
I looked down and it seemed to be over 100m.
But then i got this strong feeling that i was dreaming, before i did something i had to make sure i was dreaming(didnt want to die from trying to fly haha) i noticed how the wind was blowing the grass to a specific direction and i didnt feel any wind at all.
I looked in front of me and saw this amazing glass clear lake with a spruce forest surrounding it.
Thats when i decided to take a leap of faith, i dived towards the ground with an incredible speed.
I felt this incredible force pressing on my torso(i think it was my mind simulating the wind) as i get closer and closer to the ground.
Right now im really close to the ground and as im about to hit the rocky ground i agressively changed direction.
I was now flying faster that superman above the crystal clear water.
The lake ended in front of my eyes and instead i saw this old town.(i was facing towards the ground)
I flew down to the town and talked to people.(at this point i was 100% lucid)
But after a while of doing all kinds of stuff from moving buildings with telekenesis to riding mysterious creatures i got too exited and woke up

This was the most lucid ive ever been.

I find it amazing that our brain can create a whole world to explore, and with some practice control this world.

Standard procedure for my nights: I do not record at night, I do mental recall only, reviewing the accumulated dreams briefly (sometimes for a long time) on every waking, and record only after getting up.

non-lucid, notes
semi-lucid
fully lucid

early:

+ (impressions of doing lots of things with a team of young people) a house on fire?

+ (f) in the sand, stretching out a red tape, this is a very powerful

later:

+ LD#156
In and out of lucidity, semi-lucidity.
A number of scenes, order a bit unclear
I'm lying on a couch in a room, there is another guy on the couch and a guy across the room
squishy spiders, cat eats one, I'm batting the other one away, see dense spider web (built for just the night!?)
See dog L, it's been so long, he looks very thin, need to feed him, get lucid, go outside, think "yay, #156", think of TOTMs, go back in ask DC to tell me a joke, first one like "and I fell down", said "tell me another one", he tells another one also sort of gibberish. To cement the TOTM I bite him (on the arm I think), then I'm walking to a room around a corner I want to go somewhere else, he follows? I go in a bathroom close the door and think when I come out of here I'll be in a different place. Then I think of summoning a girl by making believe we're having sex and start making motions. I then "wake up" in a dark room lit as if by a fire in a fireplace lying down in a corner and self-pleasuring, and stop thinking someone else in the room can see me.

Lying on ground in garage, girl's brought her new moped (looks like a bicycle) to show her friend who's there, I'm stuck by two cars, girl keeps shoving this bike right on top of me almost, I keep shoving it away, I eventually say "Hey I don't want that gasoline sloshing on me!". girl backs out of garage and I think hey why not kiss her, and I do, and a waking up lucid moment as I make kissing motions on nothing

Then I'm back in the original scene standing over a bed in the living room of the same house and there's a man lying there with blue eyes, crew cut and bright red hair, and we're talking. I realize I'm dreaming again and go outside and try to find my way to a different neighborhood [rest forgotten].

I'm in a bathtub. I'm writing really interesting things on the side of the bathtub with dry erase markers. But every time I raise my hand up to write something else I smudge/erase what I wrote before and this eventually starts frustrating me. I'm naked in the tub, and the tub is in a small enclosure just barely bigger than the tub (room to sit up), it's in an office and there's a window into the tub. I scoot down to the bottom of the tub and estimate that if someone looks in they won't see my (ahem), just barely. But there's a door on the end and they could open it and see me there.

riding in back seat of huge truck (driven by JaEi [VP company "R"]), pat JE on shoulder saying "you're doing a great job driving this thing!" then he drives off some edge and we're in free fall for what seems like 4 seconds, I'm anticipating an unpleasant impact, we hit but we're not destroyed or hurt, I look behind us and see the cliff we just rode down. I'm feeling around my lap for my waist bag and can't find it. I keep searching front and back, and eventually feel it and am relieved.

In room with young man, I'm trying to write on the side of a pen like I was writing on the side of the bathtub earlier, I was telling him about my dream of driving in the cliff-jumping huge truck, and he said, "I was there too, " and I said "You mean that was *real*?" But then I thought back to it and didn't remember there being any girls in the truck and said so. I think he was in a different truck that didn't go off the cliff like we did

+ I'm walking on some street, come to a stop light, waiting for the go indicator, and I see two guys I worked with (AM and Ch. from [company "B"]), and say s.l. "hey the guys from 'B'!").

+ LD #157
I'm in my childhood home living room, it's dark/night, I suspect a dream, then I see an unknown short old man in flowing robes walking quickly towards the front door as if he just came downstairs and I decide (perhaps with nose pinch), yes, lucid dreaming again. I head to the sliding glass door and open it and walk out on to the deck. The night sky is filled with silvery moon-lit clouds. I see some patterns in the sky that look sort of like faces. I just stand there looking up at the sky in awe for several moments. At some point I hear a screech coming from the stairs, I decide to try TOTM advanced (i) and crumple the scene. I hold my arms up to the sky and start making gathering motions, but I feel no physical traction, don't notice anything visually changing, then I decide I really should go investigate what's going on upstairs. I run for the stairs and I take out and ignite my lightsaber, which shows a weak translucent beam that is lighting up the wall in a jumping around pattern as I run up the stairs. Decide no, switch to physical sword, so I "reach for the hilt" and "draw" it expecting it to be there. It's dark and I vaguely see a blade before me, I reach up my right hand and pinch the blade and feel it to verify its presence. I'm with some friend and we run in to my parents bedroom, and my parents are there and my mom and I trade sword blows for a while.

wake, recall, BTS:

later, vague short scenes, in and out of sleep:

+ in a house, strange small creature pets crawling into holes, brightly colored huge grasshoppers/shrimps(?) clustered under the slats on the deck

+ clearing out my room (at music camp?)

+ a guy's criticizing my chess, my moves were strong then suddenly (on move 16?) I started playing poorly, my explanation was that I was late with my wife to a party and so had to offer a draw instead of playing on for the win.

+ see two owls: first one owl (outside childhood home?), then it sees me and it flies to its nest which is in my childhood home garage? I think these owls perhaps ate the little lizard pet from the earlier scene and that's why nobody can find it

+ (f) with ex-gf SB, her face close to mine, kissing her forehead

+ some girls are coming to visit. I had to remove all the centerfolds I had put up inside the cabinets. I hope I did. We're walking through and I open the cabinets carefully and see I did remove them, and feel relief.

Haven't written here for ages - gave up for a while!

I played an online adventure game last night and thought maybe this will give me a lucid dream, and was thinking about it as I fell asleep.

Very poor recall but I remember suddenly thinking I'm dreaming! Strangely I didn't get too excited about that and I thought about doing a reality check but knew I was dreaming and there were lots of people chasing after me so I thought I had better fly away first and do that later - I flew up into the sky and kept flying because the people were flying after me, I think it then turned into a normal dream. The level of lucidity was not good and I can't remember much more about it.

Other dreams: I was seeing a patient with another doctor, then I remember talking to a receptionist to book him in for a test, then I was drinking a cup of tea with the patient and I realised I had put some valium in the tea and I suddenly started feeling very drowsy.

On 11/27/2015 I drank a whole bottle of new Amsterdam during the day and took 100 mg of 5 HTP before bed at 1 am. I had a very profound and interesting dream today.

At first I dreamed of flying towards a large super cell storm which had red color about it in a few places. In a dream a voice told me that the cloud had devils inside it or something like that. The dream changed and I was on the beach alone. Behind me were summer homes (dachas in Russian/Ukranian) it was weird because it looked like an American beach and behind me were Russian houses and plants. Another voice told me to shoot 3 times inside the storm to create a large wave in order to ride on it to another side of town. I remember again in the dream I was on the beach with a handgun pointing not just towards a storm cloud but a monster tornado in the ocean I shot 3 times as the tornado opened up and crated a massive wave that looked like it was about 100 ft in the air i remember i ran away from it and timed it perfecly and ended up in a different side of the town. I then went back to the beach and began to ride huge massive waves that I crated so I was not afraid despite them being really black and huge.

I also at some point in time looked to my left on the beach and noticed the tornado inside the water moved far away now but it was still creating massive weights for me which i kept riding and had fun with.

The dream was over and it almost seemed like really life in a few days I will use galantamine again at lower doses.

#480 - WILD/DILD - 4:38AM

After some time of trying to WILD (about and hour), I feel as if I am sitting more upright that I should be in the recliner. I feel as if my head is bobbing forward and to the side like I am consciously falling asleep. I worry about the headset falling off, but I try to relax and just go with it so I don't mess up the WILD. I quickly realize that I am probably not sitting this far forward and decide that I am already in the dream state. I wait a moment and begin to notice very mild vibrations in my body. I don't waste anytime here and think about getting up out of the recliner. When I do, my body effortlessly surges forward with a strange gasping/sucking sound; I wonder if that sound is just my breathing. I have the sensation of opening my physical eyes and worry about waking up, but my vision corresponds to my dream environment so I do my best to ignore the feeling. I walk to the kitchen. The room is dark and everything looks as it should. I decide I am in the dream far enough to give the left-right eye signals. I then turn and walk back across the room while doing the block-push-motion that I had practiced with the headset before bed. I am excited and curious if the computer picked up my dream actions, but I try to stay in the dream a little longer. I see Remy sleeping on the futon as he is in the waking world. The area around him seems extra dark and it's hard to tell what he looks like. Not having any other goal, I decide to wake dream Remy and see how he interacts with me. I as I move toward him my excitement of the experiment wakes me up.

+ on a driving trip, pulling in to a rest stop area. There are facilities, some are public, some are private, they seem like just lines of closets, some small, some large/long. One has cafeteria, guys with mugs with logos, enter, (talk to woman/), under a tent (wife?) is holding a giant bull penis, about 2 feet long and fist-thick and erect, it wobbles as if made of rubber, I'm standing by a fence, and she throws it at me and I barely dodge out of the way. Later I see the penis thing again with a bloody "bone" spot in the middle of its cross section where it was cut off on the bottom)

+ outdoors daylight, wide open empty plain, a guy is shooting a shotgun into the sky and the pellets are refelcting/falling back down off from the sky onto a large incline full of barrels and hitting the barrels. Then it's night and the guy warns of the jackals coming. I hear growling and see two little green reflective eyes in the distance. Start running and one is near me, I have no gun, it seems to be feigning injury, may be a trick, I'm fighting it off with a stick. The jackals dig into the sand like an arrow and launch themselves at you. Then it turns into a large human baby but I know it's a jackal, it's slippery, I'm at the edge of the sea and know I must down this thing. I get a grip and hold it under the waves, it struggles, I feel very uncomfortable about this as it looks like a human, it turns red, and becomes bloated and drowns and dies, the guy is which me and says "oh man do you think it was a real baby?" I say no, turn it upside down, it is a hollow plastic shell, empty inside except for some straps rolled up and taped against the insides, on the outer rim the words "Human Con" is written in small letters ("human container?"). I say "if this was real, there would be a stomach, heart, lungs, etc. in here".

+ ice skating rink: race (did I participate? I think I could do OK), following girl going counter-clockwise, doing front-crossovers, I'm on hockey skates, girl likes the center ice because it is smooth, it's for figure skating practice.

WBTB, long BTS, much day dreaming, find determination to sleep/dream more, eventually fall back asleep.

+ FA LD#155 I find myself awake in bed feeling frisky and "ready for action", so I turn to wife and start initiating contact, she seems receptive and we start embracing. Then I notice that across the living room out the window and into the neighboring house there is a figure standing at a window behind a thin curtain I think he's watching us, and very well may see us. So I get up and walk to the wall and close the curtains (the guy turns away as I do this?), return to bed (glimpse of other people walking in other rooms of our house?). I notice that there is a short curtain that has partially closed over the front of the TV set as well and think this is funny/interesting (it's in "solidarity" with the other curtain I just closed). My wife is then up and at the sliding glass door and lets in a little dog, she says something about someone bringing it for us, little dog comes running in, it's supposed to be just like our [deceased] dog L, he lifts his leg and pees on a scooter leaning against the wall near the bed. I think to myself, "now, if that dog looked more like 'L', I'd have to do a reality check!", I do a few nose pinches anyway, determine I can breathe, and get lucid. I immediately head out the sliding glass door to the garden and look around. I immediately see large rock formations against the back of the garden fence. They're very impressive. It is bright daylight outside. I walk to the center of the rectangular back yard, noticing all the stuff lying around, and remember my desire to narrate during LDs. I slow down and pay attention, and I start hearing birds chirping, it sounds and looks and feels *just like* a typical suburban garden. I start saying out loud what I see, "my old red/white/blue basketball [lying on the ground among the wood chips], a lovely BBQ, [turn around look behind me] pink flowers [like lilies, cone shaped] growing in a bush", I see a basketball hoop above the flowers. There is so much to see in this garden, if I narrate everything it will take the whole dream?! I see my wife walking ahead of me in the garden, still feel frisky, should I have sex with her? Decide: no.

I raise my eyes beyond the garden and see a neighboring house a ways across the hill, super tall (5-6 stories) and non-level sloping roof line sloping up from left [low] to right [higher]. I want to fly up to the roof of that house. I push off against the ground and aim my intention at the top of the roof. But instead, I go straight up very high into the air, several times higher than the roof of the neighbor house. I lose speed and start falling back down, and aim myself to the roof of the house and land there. It is a rich house with lots of security. I want to enter (there are hot girls in there?). The lock on the door seems like a game: you have to request something, do a quest, and return with the answer in order to get in, I think "screw that" and make a "throw away" gesture with my right arm and the door is ripped off its hinges. Inside, video game looking vague bad guys are shooting rifles/guns at me. I run through the hallway straight ahead, making squeezing gestures with my fists and they all "pop" and disappear. Then I know I have to face the boss of the place.

(discontinuity? Loss of lucidity)

I turn round a tight corner and enter a very small (one-two person) elevator, I know there's a girl there? There is, and I'm very excited at the prospect of making out with her. She is a petite "hostess" emo girl, not super pretty, with hair hanging down in front of her eyes. She seems annoyed/not welcoming attention. I face her and brush the hair off her face, she's wearing dark red lipstick and has a small mouth. She asks "How long will you want me for/will you be here?" She says that she was with a new customer "and [she] can make a lot of money." I take her in my arms and her whole body is trembling. I understand that the manager sent her to me, but that this interrupted her visit with another customer, I say "you're trembling, are you angry that you were interrupted?", (she indicates yes?), I talk to her and soothe her, tell her it's OK I don't want to take her from her other customer. I kiss her lightly on the cheek. I realize she's stopped trembling, (I say "see it's better now?"), elevator reaches the top, and I give her a light kiss on the lips, we go our separate ways. If the manager sees we're not together, he may get angry with her and she'd have to bring him to me, if that happens, I wonder if I should say she ditched me? No, won't do that.

Turn around, pass a manager telling waiter next to the kitchen to stop giving out breakfast menus (I see the pile and think I should take one because I want an omlet, but don't), keep going, enter large area (bowling alley?), just before I turn the corner I hear my instrument playing warm-ups, uh oh is it a rehearsal? I don't want to go, I'll tell them my instrument is in for repairs ["remember" this as being true anyway], sit down with group at a table, young guy waiter taking orders, look at menu seems to be pictures of burgers, I ask if breakfast is still available (I want that omelet!), he leaves to ask goes around corner, I say "bet he won't be back for 20 minutes". Briefly see plate of burger and fries on the table (then why did they order if they already have food?)

*shows up three years later* oops. I sort of haven't been on in a while, but I've been getting more into lucid dreaming again and I decided I should come back to log my dreams somewhere other than my phone notes, if only for record keeping purposes, lol. I haven't been keeping track of how many lucids I've had since I've last been here, hence the question marks in the title, but, eh.

NON DREAM - DREAM - LUCID

I wake up and check my phone and see that it says 12:35pm. Shit. I slept in past my morning class, and if I don't get a move on immediately, I'll miss my afternoon class. I jump out of bed and see my roommate and say, "Dude, I slept in and now I'm gonna be late!" She responds with a halfhearted "Aw, damn." She knows when my classes are, the least she could've done was wake me up. The nerve.

Anyways, I rush outside and find myself in the lecture hall where my class is. For some reason, though, I'm still freaking out and trying to figure out a way to get to class, even though I'm basically there. I see my friend E and I run up to her, yelling "I missed my first class and now I'm gonna be late for my second!" She grabs my shoulders and gives me a hug to calm me down, saying "It's okay, if you hurry now you can still make it in time." I realize I don't have my backpack. Apparently I left it in another classroom, so E comes with me to look for it. When I sneak inside the classroom where my backpack is, the lights are dimmed and the professor is lecturing away. I try to stay as quiet as possible so I don't interrupt while I slink over to grab my stuff, but E walks in behind me and yells "DON'T WORRY EVERYONE, SHE'S JUST GRABBING HER STUFF!" I cringe and say "Stop it, this isn't even my class!" She stops yelling and apologizes.

I make it out of that room with my backpack in tow, and I start walking down the hall toward the exit. As I'm walking, I pass my friend A who, in real life, goes to school on the other side of the country. "A? What are you doing here?" I say. Before he can speak, I say "Sorry, I'd love to stay and chat, but if I don't haul ass right now I'll miss my class. I'll see you later!" and then I turn and keep running.

When I make it outside, I'm standing at the bottom of a hill. I can see the bus stop at the top of the hill, and I try to walk toward it. However, I can barely move because my legs are like lead and I'm making no progress. I see the bus pull up to the stop and tears start to well in my eyes because I know that if I don't catch this bus, I'll miss class. Damn, I think to myself, this is just like in dreams when you just can't...oh. Oh, wait.

I put two and two together and realize I'm dreaming, confirming with a few reality checks. I quickly ditch my backpack and abandon my attempts to climb the hill, deciding to sit on the curb instead. I spend some time just staring at my hands, realizing just how strange looking they are and how wonky my fingers look. I grow another finger. Ew. I also paid attention to the grass around me, noticing how vividly green and soft looking it was. Basically, I tried to calmly engage multiple senses so that I could stabilize the dream.

I look up and see three people come out of the building: my friend A from earlier, this other kid I went to high school with, and 90's Leonardo DiCaprio. Nice. It's an odd group, but I'm not complaining. Especially about Leo (who I stand up and greet with a kiss because I love myself and I deserve it). I invite everyone to sit down on the side of the curb with me. I pull out my phone and we start taking selfies, and I say "Wouldn't it be cool if these showed up on my phone in real life? Except they won't because NONE OF THIS IS REAL!" They don't really react to that for some reason. This kind of reminds me to deal with a problem I usually have in lucids: communicating with DCs. Mostly I find that I'm always the one doing the talking, and hardly ever will I hold a decent conversation with a DC. I ask Leo how his day was. He just smiles and nods at me. "No," I say, "use your words." He's clearly making an effort, but he's struggling.

Suddenly, I hear a heavy Russian accent say "Here, you need to eat." I look up and see Wanda Maximoff from the latest Avengers movie standing above me. In one hand she has a dark brown wicker basket, and her other hand is holding a red fruit rollup, outstretched to me. I thank her and take it, and it tastes just like a normal fruit rollup. I think Wanda's food offering was a way to help me stabilize the dream because at this point my lucidity was getting a little shaky (a device to help Leo talk had appeared randomly in my hand and I didn't question it at all). Basically, my subconscious was like, "You're losing it, dipshit. Eat something." Thanks, subconscious.

Anyways, I'm sitting there eating this fruit rollup when suddenly I get an idea. "Hey Wanda," I say, "where's your dad?" (For those who don't know--in the Marvel universe, Wanda's dad is Magneto, aka Erik Lehnsherr. Erik is played by Michael Fassbender. Michael Fassbender is a beautiful man. I had some saucy ulterior motives.) She gives me a strange look before saying, "He's inside." I thank her and run back into the building I had just previously exited, except this time, instead of it being my lecture hall, it was my mom's house. I'm pretty familiar with the place.

I start calling out Erik's name in hopes of finding him, since I find that I'm better at finding people in dreams instead of just summoning them, but to no avail. I walk into the living room and see my sister lounging on the couch. I ask her if she's seen Erik. She says, "Yeah, I think he's over behind that gate." I look over and see one of those gates meant for blocking off babies from getting into certain places, but it was blocking off the area by our front door. Behind the gate, there are huge piles of blankets and laundry. I walk over and start digging around, but I don't find Erik. My sister laughs and says "Just kidding, I have no idea where he is. I don't even know who Erik is." I yell at her for wasting my time and walk into the kitchen.

Erik is trash, I think to myself, so he's probably in the trash. And if he's not, he should be. I open the cupboard under the sink and grab a new trash bag. For some reason I feel like having a trash bag will help me find him. From the other room, I hear my mom yell, "LEAVE HIM ALONE." I respond with a resounding "NO."

Then I wake up. I'm pretty happy since this was the first lucid I've had in a long time. It's motivating me to really get back into the swing of things, if only to continue my desperate search for Erik Lehnsherr.

And yes, I did check my phone's camera roll when I woke up, but there were no selfies with 90's Leo DiCaprio :/

27.11.2015

Interrupted Sex with Two Women (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I’m at parking lot of an area completely new to me. The atmosphere at the moment entailed that it might rain, or at least be a fairly cool epoch. The lot itself consists of a light, caramel color, and I notice that I’m near a strip mall of some sort.

I’m on the floor, and there’s a female on top of me. I can’t really make out her visage in particular, and the next moment, I felt as if I was projected out of that imaginary body, and a female is on top of said body. She has her knees on the floor, is wearing blue yoga pants, and had a dark complexion; African American female, I guess.

Her white dress shirt is slightly open to portray her cleavage, and I believe her hair is bundled up, and is hearing a headband of a dull, cool color (violet, I think). She waves her rear around, tempting me to do anything with it. I eventually get close to her, and just as I’m about to perform oral activities, out of nowhere, I have the sudden urge to drive a car, and head for one of the strip mall units.

I’m still trying to process what I would really need that can compensate for the sex that was going to occur, but I’m going inside for something to eat, or maybe use for the activity?

I can’t recall much of the interior other than the flooring having a checkered black and white style to it. I get out, and I have some trouble with the vehicle I’m riding, and I get the urge to pee.


I wake up, and as I’m walking out, I see a relative sitting on a couch watching an early morning show. They look at me, but I didn’t bother looking at them. Took care of my business, and when I went back to sleep, I tried to get back into the dream, but to no avail the moment I woke up from the second alarm after.

=(

This morning I had an LD again .

Here are some highlights and notes I'd like to remember:

• I could fly for a short distance, finally. It was more like a levitation. I didn't fall but I didn't go higher.
• I tried to walk through things, but that didn't work.
• After some time in the LD, I heard a loud noise, and I struggled to stabilize the dream, and I did for a while, but the noise kept coming back until my sister woke me up. I was so mad that she did but I couldn't tell her I was lucid dreaming since she knows nothing about it.
  
• Then later when I woke up after a few non-lucid dreams. I realized that the noise and the waking up were a part of my false awakening. I should have noticed that I woke up on the couch and I never sleep there like I noticed the wrong bed in last week's LD.
• The memory of LD is a little foggy since I woke up after I had some normal dreams. I usually remember it way more clearly when I wake up right after it and replay it in my head.
• I had 3 LDs so far this month, and I'm very happy I'm getting better.
• When I used to stress over having LD, I never had it, but now that I know I only get DILD when I nap in the morning after a good sleep especially if I'm just feeling drowsy and not tired, I kind of go to bed for these naps (I never force these naps) expecting an LD without obsessing over it, so it happens. I can't have these morning naps except on weekends, but that will do.
• I really need to work more on my surroundings control.

I find myself in a remote building with many stairways that cross all over the building. I keep walking and then a game app showed up on my vision saying try out the new game. The dream scene change slightly to adjust to the game which was basically red robots trying to run at me and I had to shoot them before they got to me. I played for awhile and soon find a red car and tried driving it. Every time I drive in this red car it would only go back and forth. It could not turn to the side.

I get up from the car and continue where I left off by going down the endless stairs. Not long I get another message on my screen of a guy typing he would help me out. He also stated that his brother is annoying with a word like "KMLB" I suppose that could be that he wants to kill his little brother. I didn't know but I decided to try and find him. I soon found apart of the stairs to be blown up making me unable to continue walking. I could see the person on the other side who may have sent me the message.

They had a toy gun in their hand and dress like they were dessert agent. I took a jump and had an false awakening. I get up and felt like I have left my body. I start hovering around and could see a roach on the ceiling. I ignore and just enjoyed the weightless feeling in till I see a hand on the bed corner. I got to it and I find it looks very similar to my hand. I take off the stuff that was around it and pick it up with my hand. I realize a few things at this moment.

My hand was transparent, the hand I am lifting up is acting lifeless nor is warm. I wonder if it was my hand and I began feeling a tugging as if I was being drag to it. I begin thinking this could be a dream as I tried backing away but my head felt like it was beginning to swallow itself. Before I knew it I woke up.



I find myself walking in line with a lot of other people going to a beach? But we all had to get registered through a section in the building. It took awhile but I was getting closer till the railing disappear at the end. This made it difficult to keep my balance as we were all about 17 feet above ground. I struggle and fell which for some reason the ground seem like it sky rocket so I wouldn't get hurt. Since I fell I could not join them and was place in to a classroom. I stayed in the classroom where the lights were off and a teacher assign us to do a math problem of 360 divide by 9. We all began working on it and this kid next to me was trying to cheat off me.


The teacher is standing right next to us but he wont do anything about it. The kid tells me to erase most of my answer cause they were wrong. I told him I wont do anything while scolding him to get his own answers. Eventually the argument we were having grew out of hand and we began fighting each other. At the end of it, I remember getting hit by a black metal bat that resulted in me having a false awakening.

I get out of bed to see my father , I also saw one of the snacks I use to eat on the side of the bed. It showed signs that rats have eaten it partially. I then left the room and went in to the living room to my surprise. The color of the walls were all red and they were portraits of Merry Christmas around the house. It look odd seeing the entire place red. I figure I must be dreaming and did some rc's which failed. I wasn't convince I awake as I saw too many chairs and tables flip over in wrong areas like the kitchen, with the addition that vision kept spiraling around like a circle.

I could see a shadow opening the back door and I attempted to hide. It is my brother who enters the kitchen and tells me he already knows I'm there. At the same time my mother had been walking down the stairs. Around this time I wake up. Lucidity Time: 22 seconds