memorable

Last night was not exactly fun. I can remember brief instances of this one; they mainly seemed to be warped situations of things that have happened to me in the last few months IRL. I am at a performance, with cover bands, but it’s as if they’re all playing to a track, not actually playing their instruments. I am expected to play piano to a Queen song, but someone takes my place. I’m at a movie theatre, about to go see a film by myself. I run into several old high school acquaintances. I’m finishing a group project and turning it in at the last minute; I think this is at my old house. The last instance was the most vivid and unfortunate. I’m sitting alone on a couch in a strange room; it’s like some parts of the wall are missing, or maybe the ceiling. It’s cloudy and grey outside. I think this place is near a lake. I see my ex-girlfriend just outside, her red hair vibrant and flowing in the wind. She is soon inside on the couch with me, and we begin to kiss and hold each other close. This is the first time I can think of that I’ve had this good of a dream about her since we broke up. In most dreams I can remember, she is cold, distant, or angry. In this one, she is welcoming, reciprocating, and affectionate. Then my friend comes in the room, acting like his usual annoying self. IRL, he didn’t like my girlfriend, and even told lies about her to my friends. This anger I feel toward him was evident in the dream. I am happy with her in this dream, and I want him out of the picture. Feelings of affection I have for her in the dream are coupled with the feelings of hatred I have for my friend. This is very similar to an instance that occurred a couple months ago IRL. But I wake up and realize, that although I’m over her, my hatred for him remains.

So this was probably the most stable and most vivid lucid dream I've had so far. Maybe not the longest but it was rather long too.

I'm not entirely sure how exactly I got into the dream. I had been drifting back and forth between sleep for hours in the bed, always trying to think about visualization and WILDing, but never really managing as I always fell asleep quickly. I think this time I lost consciousness just for a very short moment and snapped back at just about the right moment.

So I was lying in a bed, had my eyes closed, and saw mostly normal phosphenia. I didn't feel entirely normal and I wanted to open my eyes and be in a dream.
So I opened my eyes, being in a state of what I'd call skeptical lucidity, I believed that I was kind of in between dream and reality. What I saw in front of me was a massive cupboard that covered the whole wall, though it was composed entirely out of drawers. My vision wasn't normal either, it's like I saw a correct main image but then much weaker and transparent copies of the main image slightly wavered around.

I left the small room and went down a hallway to the left, it was dark outside and the light was very dim. My vision normalized somewhere here. A bit down the hallway I turned left again and entered a very large staircase (5m x 5m or so, the structure was very similar to my first boarding school). Around here I tested my powers for the first time, summoning a faint green glow on my fingers. I also heard some unintelligible voices from somewhere else in the building, but I didn't really care. I wanted to fly but I still didn't trust my current state completely. Then I summoned some weird stone, it was beige and glowed somewhat white and it had levitation powers focused in it, and this is when I trusted my lucidity. Then I did something I didn't ever do before, instead of looking for an exit point or breaking the glass, I just phased through it, and by that also through one of the steel bars that were between the glass panels.

Now I was outside, floating around a bit. Either it quickly turned bright or I have a memory gap here, I'm not completely sure. Now I was in a place that was kind of city, kind of village, kind of medieval, kind of modern. Imagine a small clearing and a raised plateau in front of me, there were tables there with some stuff on them, parts of the ground were neatly layered with stone, parts were grass. Around the perimeter of that clearing were buildings which seemed kind of medieval, but the further the buildings were away, the more modern they seemed. There even appeared to be tall apartment blocks in the distance.
I remembered I wanted to do stuff with Ryuuko in my dreams. I suppose this is the time and place to elaborate on her, refer to this place: Ryuuko Drakisu | Dream-Alter-Ego and persistent DC
So I landed close to the tables on a small free patch. I remember a bearded man standing there. Think of a Nord from Skyrim, just looking better, more realistic and having less of an annoying aura. He greeted me shortly I think.

So I summoned Ryuuko kind of as an empty DC, like a model with only the most rudimentary understanding and behavior possible, which is pretty much what I wanted at this point. I think she appeared in plain sight but I'm not entirely sure. Also there were a lot of details that were wrong. Her horns were reddish and on her side, her face was just wrong and from someone else, the hair was too short and had a wrong light brown color, her skin was too dark, had freckles and actually on all places of her body except the face the skin texture was missing, it was like Vantablack. Though parts of her natural scale armor, that is on the arms and legs, seemed to be present and mostly correct, I didn't focus on their details all that much though. I think I saw her wings in a folded state too, but again didn't pay enough attention to them to tell for sure.
I told this Ryuuko model to start fixing the skin color. What it did was a bit bizarre, it touched its face with its hands and then kinda rubbed the skin color all over her body, gradually replacing the blackness, albeit the revealed skin texture was still wrong and covered with freckles, I wonder why.
At this point I also noticed she was naked and was missing her clothes.

At this point the bizarreness of what I saw made me think about what to do, and it seems my focus slipped and I lost my lucidity. Somehow me and the Ryuuko model walked into a nearby shop, where I remember seeing her one last time, still not completely fixed up. Then some people were quite frankly talking about completely irrelevant shit, some stickers and some glitter was around but I hardly want to bother remembering. I know that for some time I just observed, then I ate some of the glitter. Then I woke up, much to my dismay. Had my focus not slipped I bet I could've still done a lot more in that dream.

Before I go into this, I have recently been pondering on the thought of going back in to time and all of the things that I could've done differently in my life, which yes I know you shouldn't look to the past in regret but to the future but I find it hard for myself to not look at the choices I could've done differently... This is the inspiration behind my dream.

So I find myself in my dream and I realize right away that I am smaller than normal, I look to my mother and notice that she is quite taller then me and I suddenly get the notion that I have went back in time to when I was a young kid and I kid you not but I literally thought that I was given a restart to my life for some reason, I convinced myself inside of my dream that I have been given a second chance at my life and after thinking about this I was overcome with joy and yes I was lucid but I didn't realize it was a dream, I thought it was real life and that I had been given a second chance. I had my phone in my hand and I remember me and my mother and possibly my father, not entirely sure, going to a movie theater. I don't remember looking at the movie screen but I remember just staring at my phone and thinking of all the things that I could invest in and become rich from I then remember going to the restroom after the movie and the restroom was quite weird and the toilets looked very odd for some reason but at the time I was still convinced that I had gone back in time but I believe I was losing my "lucidness" if this is possible and I was just drifting back into a dream I had no control of which did eventually happen, I then found myself in a different dream where for some reason I was fighting dragons and a man gave me 2 iron swords and I was able to down 2 dragons and the swords disintegrated after killing them and a 3rd dragon was coming straight for me and I put my hand in the air and sliced it's belly open with my hand and killed it, the people around me praised me then I remember grabbing the person in front of me and screaming to him that this has already happened and then I realised that I had this dream before and then I woke up to my alarm going off.

This is the longest dream I have ever experienced that I can remember and also this is one of few dreams that I had in first person (most dreams I have in third person like I am watching a movie).

Welp this is my first dream journal, hopefully everyone reading enjoyed it.

Last night I had a recurring theme in my dreams where I can't find my husband and can't get a hold of him. It happens in my dreams quite often and it is always unsettling. Not quite a full-blown nightmare but upsetting. I wish I knew what it meant.

Very long night! First off I laid there while I prayed & did some relaxing chakra opening exercises. I wake up to Meesha laying by my side. I get up & feed her & crawl back into bed. I then woke up again w/ Meesha back on my pillow. I am having a bout of sleep paralysis but I can lean my head just barely as she rubs my face w/ hers & she is agitated. At that moment I feel what I think is a cat laying next to my side. So basically Meesha is between me & Mike's head & on the opposite side of me I feel a what I assume is another cat snuggling up to me just like Meesha did earlier. I'm starting to freak out now. I try to yell at Mike but I can't talk or move. I finally can move & there is no cat there but Meesha is still as freaked out as me. I again get up but just go pee & lay back down & fall back asleep. Again I wake up to the exact same thing but now I'm really really freaked out! I'm trying to will myself hand to hit Mike if necessary to see if he can see anything & I'm trying to scream at him. Meesha is still freaking out again too. This is so really freaky. I finally am able to move & look over & still nothing is there. I have no idea what this was all about. My dead dog Dioji maybe? We see him sometimes & I've had other weird encounters but all I can think is it's a cat because yesterday I had a couple of encounters w/ this stray black cat coming in my house. Mike wakes up at this point & I tell him what happened. I go to smoke a cig in the bathroom & he tells me to come back in the room & he'll smoke one w/ me. He knows how bad this kind of thing freaks me out. Meesha finally jumps down & soon we both go back to bed until my alarm goes off & I'm exhausted from a restless night but I have to get up & get dressed to kick of Mike's vacation w/ a meal at HuHot because it's half price Tuesday. Anyone else care to make something of all of this?

Bed @ 2225*
Woke @ 2330 /w nothing.*
Woke @ 0200 /w nothing.*
Woke @ 0345 - unknown reason

Remote pairing
I'm in "my room" talking with my team lead on the phone, using my Bluetooth headset. My phone shows me a notification that something's crashed, but I assume it's some background process since everything seems to be working OK. My lead is doing most of the talking, and I'm generally making "Uh-huh" noises. It's only when I actually try to add something that I realize he can't hear me. I start fiddling with the phone, trying to get 'unmuted.' Eventually, he asks me a direct question, and after trying again with the headset I disconnect it and hold up the phone to my ear. This time he can hear me and I explain what happened with the headset before getting back to the conversation at hand. He wants to spend most of tomorrow pairing with me on our project, some kind of radio hardware, and we're planning out what we want to accomplish.

Now I'm walking away from my building, crossing shopping center parking lots. I need to get some distance from my office to test something out. I'm concerned that radio signals are just too finicky, and that all the stuff around here will create all sorts of 'hot spots' and 'cold spots' and we just won't be able to make sense of our results unless we get much better testing hardware. At a minimum, we're going to need a proper signal strength meter, but we're also going to need ... something else (I forget in-dream). Now I'm still moving away from my building, but I'm somehow in a sitting position, sliding backwards over the ground, frictionless, though it's a very bumpy ride and I have to watch out for hedges lining the driveways.

Now I'm walking again, approaching the intersection of a couple of busy roads. A utility truck is pulled up onto the grass, and the utility guy is walking around. I can hear rock music blaring even though I'm still a ways away from him. This is my general destination - my lead wants me to test from here, though I don't think it'll work, since I no longer have line-of-sight to my building.

Now I'm standing on the steps of what seems to be a condemned tenement building. The whole thing is painted brick red, though the paint is peeling. There's another similar structure across the street, though it's actually made of brick. My lead is with me, and I point over, saying that we may be able to 'spike' the building across the street near its top with a radio repeater if we can figure out who to ask for permission. As I descend the steps, I look around, wondering if anyone still lives here despite the terrible condition of the building. The board I try to use as a railing turns out not to be connected to anything and I jump, not expecting it to pull away in my hand. I put it back down, then descend the steps even more carefully.I walk along a grassy area until I can finally look back to see the College of Computing, which is at the end of a shopping center strip. It's got a drive-around that I didn't remember being there.

Now I've walked back and gone inside, and I'm in the waiting room of a doctor's office, standing in line to pay. To my left, a frosted glass window opens and the receptionist spays me with water as if from a shower head. I yelp, dashing around, trying to get out of the stream, and she laughs uproariously. I'm not pleased, but I like the people here and I can't feel too annoyed at them. Back in line, I look around carefully, and no more ambushes seem to be forthcoming. The guy in front of me turns and hands me a wallet he thinks I dropped - it certainly looks like mine. I open it and find it's full of British pounds, not dollars, and I tell him it's not mine. Hearing "pounds," another man turns, sees the wallet, and exclaims that it's his. He gives me a hand-written note and some American bills he's been carrying, explaining that he wanted to give a reward to whoever gave found and returned his wallet. His English is good if rather accented - German, maybe. I'm not sure what to do - I wouldn't mind a few extra spending dollars, but I don't want to take advantage of him either. I make a very small effort to return the money, but he rebuffs me, and I don't press it. I'm having trouble counting the bills - at first, I think it's a five and a one, but each time I look at it it's different. At one point, I think it's a twenty, a ten, and a five. Eventually, I remember the note and look at it. It's scrawled in nearly unintelligible handwriting, a thank you for finding his wallet. Along the left side is his own recipe for something. I don't try to interpret the note or the recipe since the handwriting is so bad, but I do keep it for later study.

Now I'm talking to one of the doctors. He's amused, smirking, reminding me of the reason I trust him, that he doesn't take any of my personal information; but then he runs through all the various agencies, groups, and regulations they have to deal with which completely destroy any semblance of privacy I may have had.

BTB @ 0410; can't sleep until 0610
Woke @ 0715

Delta lucid?
I'm looking at a gray-on-gray "field," and I know I'm asleep. I'm aware of the feeling of my right hand. I manage to form an image of a hand and open and close it without affecting my physical hand.

Searching for sky; flight!
I'm in a rather plain room with a family I feel I know, a man and couple of teenage kids. I'm working with some food laid out on the lid of a large Rubbermaid tub. I take a small piece of fish steak out of a square Glasslock container where it's been sitting on wax paper and marinating in something dark. Someone asks me if I know how to handle fish and I answer yes.

I remember that I'm dreaming and reach out to feel the edge of the lid, its plasticy sharpness. The people are gone. I stay calm, moving slowly, breathing deeply, fixing the knowledge that this is a dream in my mind (I forget to rub my hands). I feel the top of the lid, then the wall near me, then start to head outside. I need to get outdoors so I can fly. I move very slowly, as if quick movement will shatter the dream or make me forget (I need to work on that ...)I walk through the doorway and find myself in something like a small enclosed garden - grass on the ground, other growing stuff around, 4 walls, and something overhead. I walk through another doorway and find myself in another small room, then in another enclosed outdoor space. I see a screen door (it's green all over) and launch myself through it, but I just find myself in another enclosed space. I start to get concerned - what if I can't find a way out? I calm myself and don't let myself get sucked into it. I reflect that I'm not yet very good at dream control, so I don't trust myself to bust through a wall, but I can still use simpler, more reliable methods. I stop, telling myself that there will be a doorway around the next corner, picturing it in my mind, picturing the sunlight shining through it. I turn the corner and find myself in a garden with a fence. There's still something overhead, but there's a gap between the covering and the fence, and sunlight is streaming through the gap. I'm so relieved, I feel a huge weight lifted from myself.

I launch myself up through the gap, and I'm out, hovering in the air about ten feet up. I'm so happy, but I keep control of myself. Buildings are on either side of me, and a kind of wide alley stretches out before me; but I can still see the blue sky above. I pause for a moment - I've never gotten beyond this stage, so now what? I focus on feeling confident, go into what feels like a natural flying pose - right arm forward, left arm cocked backwards - and start moving upwards and forwards, out beyond the buildings. I remember that part of my goal is to really feel the sensation of flying, of wind in my face, of speed and height, but I get nothing. I'm out in the open now, with nothing around me. To my left, I see a woman flying in, holding an umbrella. I wake, feeling amazing and slightly emotional.

Fragment: I'm holding my mini-massager, trying to use it; but the battery is so low that it can barely vibrate.

Points: 36

I’m outside on a cold winter’s day with a couple of friends. We’re on a street corner with heavy traffic. I see a cute woman with bad teeth who is dressed like a hooker. I decide to trip her and then catch her as a form of flirtation. Whatever I said after that worked, because she agreed to go out to eat with me and my friends. We leave the restaurant and my date says goodbye. We enter into a car and drive toward home. My friend drives us to my other friend’s house, where I get out of the car and travel inside. There, I am telling my friend Syd about women being just as sexually charged as men, but that men are simply more explicit about it. We travel to her bedroom, and she tells me that she once snorted cocaine.

The next sequence is rather odd. I am outside in my old backyard, and it is soon nighttime. I choose a spot on the grass to lie down. There are a couple of speakers lying there on the grass, and I listen to music as a fall asleep. I wake up, and gather up all my clothes and travel somewhere else. I find myself playing a keyboard outside in the street by a house at night. There is a hat of some kind on my head, and eventually I put a traffic cone or megaphone or something on my head. I probably look ridiculous. Old friends pass me by. I think my dad comes out to walk the dog. I’m then inside a bathroom playing a keyboard on the sink. This bathroom is connected to my friend’s bedroom, and I’m unaware of this at first, but she soon comes in, and I know I need to leave.

I’m in my friend’s car again, this time with my sister. She opts to have him drop us off at 7/11 to study. We soon find ourselves at my old high school. She gets in a car with other friends and leaves. I’m walking around in a careless manner, as I run into my mother as well as an old friend. I warmly greet her and tell her that I love her hair. That’s all I can really remember.

I went to sleep and woke up around 5a.m.
My dream recall was blank.
After feeling rather depressed, I started vizualizing what my dream should have been. I go through a plan, and end up in my kitchen, where I seamlessly lucidly step into the dream. I realize from my previous fantasy, that somehow my shirt was off. I attempt to summon some via my pockets, but I get some shorts instead. I stretch them via telekinesis, but give up as I see an easier way. The windows act like mirrors at night, so I look in them, and expect to see my shirt on. It works, and I feel the shirt on me.
I then spin three times, and attempt to arrive in Terraluna.
I instead arrive at a website, called guest.com/seemygalaxy.
Its background is black, and the text is bright pink.
I yell 'Terraluna'!
It instead intreprets it as ' Teraluna'
It says ' 404 not found'
I repeat, and it intreprets it correctly.
The computer says ' If you must, it is a sexuality ridden place.
I arrive at a website, and in pink text, it says 'There are two inscribed stone tablets. Which do you choose, left or right?'
I freak out here, exit and run outside.
I find a car. I remember the TOTM, and think ' well, it did not say which form the car had to be in!'
I inflate it until it is a balloon, and carry it a few metres, and then throw it with ease.
I turn back now and I see a train running a long a train track right in the middle of the wide path.
I wake up.

NOTES:
I feel ultra happy.
I have found a new way of dream control, via mirrors.
However, I am dissapointed about Terraluna.
Perhaps if I had continued with the script I may have reached it.
Who knows?

12/08/2016
"New World Disorder"

Tony, BR, MR and I decided to infiltrate a Neo-Nazi rally.

We were being led down into what seemed like an underground garage, surrounded by Neo-Nazis. Most were stereotypical - white, with shaved heads - but there were a few minorities speckled throughout the crowd as well. En route to the meeting area, we passed through several rooms that looked as if they were ripped out of the "generic haunted house" handbook; various torture chambers - both physical and psychological - with a number of digital monitors showing compilations of gruesome acts of violence that were, undoubtedly, being performed on the people being held captive within this place.

We were herded into a main room and shuffled our way toward the back of the gathering of maybe a little over 100 people, trying as best we could to blend in as sympathetic to their cause, in order to observe their actions and rhetoric. One man spoke from the podium and, though I can't really remember much of what he said, it was all too constantly met with cheers and chanting from the mob.

Before long, the rallying cries began to take on a tone of suspicion and accusation, waves of negativity progressing through the crowd and making their way back toward us. The group was becoming more and more alarmed that there were traitors or 'outsiders' among them. It didn't take long before we were confronted and discovered to be...disloyal. A long chase inevitably ensued, and we were soon sprinting through the halls of this expansive facility, which was gradually morphing from a dank, dilapidated, present-day industrial setting and into a sanitized, futuristic and seemingly state-funded Base of Operations with grayed-out metal and stone interiors that looked pretty-distinctly Sci-Fi. Armed sentries pursued us while we dodged and darted within the halls, at one point coming to an annex and staring down the barrel of a massive cannon that they had instantly erected in our path before we changed directions and ran down an other hallway before the group of henchmen manning the unnecessarily-large weapon could get a single shot off.

Having split from my group while running, I was being tailed by a small squad of Nazis (now in even more militaristic attire), when I turned a corner of an apartment-style hallway, ducking into the first open door that I saw and closing the door behind me. Inside, I ran into a young woman who was quite startled by my having barged into her room. Frantically, I whispered a plea for her help and gave her a brief rundown of what had happened. Apparently, she was one of many people being held by these fascists against her will, so she was willing to aid me by shoving her into her closet. The patrol kept on searching, so I had to remain in this cramped space for most of the day. The girl ended up taking a nap on the bed across the room, and there eventually came a knock at the door. The guards were doubling back and checking the rooms, individually.

The girl didn't hear the first few knocks, or the demands for the door to be opened. Fearing they were going to burst in and search the place, I picked up a shoe from the closet floor and chucked it across the tiny apartment, hitting her with it and waking her up just in time for her to respond to the guards. She tried to get them to leave her be, but they insisted upon coming in, just before I was able to fully shut the closet door - which the girl noticed. She tried to keep their attention from the closet but, from the darkness, I could see that they were starting to glance over toward my hiding place in suspicion. When they did, the girl raised a huge stink about how they were immoral thugs, disrespecting her privacy. She was even able to call in another female friend to back her up. The friend came in, immediately chastising the guards for being so cruel as the pair whipped up some crocodile tears and began to console each other for this apparently sexist infraction. The newcomer seemed to know all about the rouse, and was playing along perfectly.

It worked. The guards, not wanting to get too caught up in this seemingly-overwhelming display of female emotion, ended up leaving the room without fully searching the place. The two strangers had saved me, and when I was sure the patrol was gone, I set back out to find my friends.

I remember one last fragment about being on the outside architecture of the base, maybe a few hundred feet above ground and cornered by the patrol, yet again. I don't recall how the whole thing ended, though.

-----------------------------------------
(Possible inspirations: a topic recently came up, where some friends and I were reminiscing on a time when we created fake accounts for Stormfront.com, which is a "White Nationalist/Supremacist" website, and did a hilarious trolling raid on them, some 10 years or so ago. Obviously, with everything that has been going on in American politics, as of late, the subject matter has been on my mind.)

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It's been a while since I've dream journalled anything - life happens sometimes. I've got 2 dreams in the back log which I'll write up after this dream which I had last night.

Dream
I was in a building, possibly a generic wide open-spaced mall with a blue colour the walls. Me and my ex girlfriend were hanging out here and something happened.. I really can't remember what, as I just remember running through hallways that angled off and winded around. I saw a horseman running past me at some point. I came upon another ex girlfriend but didn't talk to her, it felt like she was looking up at something she was trying to read, like a billboard. I then saw my other ex, the one I was with before. She ran past, I think we interacted a bit and I directed her to safety? The story isn't too important here it seems . I came across my mum right after this and she too was looking up and reading, though I know it was a digital board reading the arrival/departure times of planes since we seemed to be in an airport hallway.

I then made to go across a bridge in the building, leading to another room.. Only when I got there I looked outside to see something so beautiful that it shocked me into lucidity.. Before me was the sky, an incredible colour of blue with orange tinging the horizon. I realized I was on a small boat that was flying through the air, though I was confused as to how this was possible after just leaving a building. I tried to fly out into the openness but I really struggled, I could only fly within the boundaries of the boat, like a bird unable to leave its cage. My struggle to fly made me wake up and I forced myself to remember it.

It was my first night home for the Christmas break. I wish I could remember this dream better, as it seemed to be fairly eventful and reached new areas of strangeness. I think there is a contest having to do with a train or a railroad station or something of the like. It may be old western times. There are many people I know and celebrities participating in this contest. It seems that the participants are being eliminated quickly, but there is one of them who has yet to compete, and who I have great faith in. This of course is Sting, my favorite song writer. IRL, I read his memoir “Broken Music” over the summer. It influenced me greatly, and I have this connection to him. That connection was evident in the dream; though I’m not sure he acknowledged it. I cannot remember the outcome of this contest. But there are two other instances of this dream that I remember. One of them is me, in a hotel room, high above the ground, in a bright white room. I look out at the balcony. I think there is an ocean. That’s all I can really remember. The other is me receiving fellatio from this brunette girl who bears a resemblance to someone I met briefly about a year ago. Though all goes as it should, several times I think, it is strangely dissatisfying. I remember feeling rather pleased with the state of affairs, as was she, but I do not think I felt anything orgasmic or really significant, as I normally would in this situation. I can remember so clearly the pictures from these dreams, which only makes me long to remember the circumstances and sequences of events.

At Frankie's,
Fragments,

Fish coming out of the plants around me as I walk they seem to be coming from anywhere I look - they are alive ...it's a bit weird ~ I want to run but I realise I am dreaming! I stop and allow the fish to land on my hand one by one as if effortlessly manifesting from thin air. I look at them closely - they are mostly black and flat but alive.

"I am dreaming" breath and slow down ✨
I ask my friend what this means what it symbolises - He said it means I must take these abundant fish everywhere I go, give and share them with everyone -" like a gift "I thought and this made me happy - but then he explained that by giving everyone the fish they would then be connected back here to him and that was important. I felt deep inside that there was something not right about this this ...controle ...I wanted to think nice thoughts about it and in giving the fish generously " how nice etc" 🌈but I just couldn't 😬I felt it was a bit of a con and wander if I should be involved in this giving of fish so that this control I could be had...I am puzzled and saddened as I wake.

We are in a big complex - G has a major role to play I seem to be of value and am doing my best yet I am keeping myself in the back ground. I become aware there are some teachings on - being given- I feel I should be there ...but wander why I am not...I see there are some who realy want to go and I could easily go but I am not...I am told its on Tatagatagarba. I finally go in, late, and slip into a seat anf put headphones on. It's wonderfully loud music and I love it - I start dancing and moving around with delight - people think I am a little mad.
I am jumping around on a mooving train I can't find G and shout if anyone saw him...no ...the train is picking up speed going passed the platform now ...I can't be sure G is on the train ...shall I jump off and wait or stay on....I stay on...the train is moving too fast - I am away and hope G is with me🌺

I am traveling with my mother, my sister and her child, and possibly someone else to see Jon Anderson and Todmobile in concert. We arrive at this place that does not seem at all like any sort of proper concert hall. It seems more like a small entry way with windows behind us. We are right in front and are able to interact with the performers. Todmobile is playing some sort of impossible instrument. It’s rather difficult to describe. It has a spongy, fluid texture, and it moves downward like a spiral staircase. I think I remember playing it like you would a vibraphone, but it was huge and in constant motion. Colors changed on its surface, and I remember enjoying the sound it produced. Our cousins are also at this performance, as is my uncle. I know there was so much more to this dream, but that is all I can remember.

For the last two nights, I had been attempting to recreate the circumstances which enabled my initial “one that I’ve been waiting for” dream. So this involves taking NyQuil and Ibuprofen, and I also downed apple juice in hopes of greater vividness. It has not produced similar results. I know I’ve been dreaming, but they have in no way been nearly as profound or memorable as that first one. It seems to me a typical case of trying to reproduce something amazing that occurred without any effort or preconceptions. I’ve even been listening to the same album I did that first night. But I admit, this has been a rather foolish endeavor. The feelings and symbols I experienced in that first dream I cannot hope to experience again by means of forcing it to happen. It happened somewhat naturally, it seems. I can only wait for the next time.

Hadn't dreamed in awhile after I started dating my now current bf of 6 months. Lately, however I had a dream I had a baby and I was TERRIFIED. And last night I haf this dream that my ex and I were somehow connected not like soul mates or anything it was more like a really weird psychic connection.

1. Me and A had just walked into my room. She closed the door behind me and we just started talking. Oddly enough, my light was on for once, which never happens in dreams. "Cory play with my hair" she told me. "Uh sure?" I said with a confused look on my face and a smirk. "Get up here" I told her. I was sitting on the bed and for some reason she was on the floor doing something I can't remember. She got on the bed with me and laid against my chest. I noticed that there was nothing sexual about this, I was just enjoying the moment and her laughs.