memorable

Lately, I've been having dreams involving embracing, kissing, and affection, mainly with women whom i cannot put a name to. I'm mainly thankful that these dreams do not seem to involve me ex, as my feelings for her remain strong and difficult to deal with. However, a dream that took place the other night stood out to me. I find myself in a strange building with many windows, accompanied by this girl I've been seeing lately. There are things that happen in this dream, but I cannot remember most of them. But I do vividly remember a particular instance, similar to how I remember things from my childhood. A girl who attended my high school makes an appearance. I always sensed that she liked me in high school, but I never made a move. In the dream, there seems to be a mutual level of attraction between us. We kiss in a room that has windows and is visible from another part of the house. Afterwards, I immediately am with the other girl I've been seeing in real life, and she confronts me about kissing the girl from my high school. I can't remember what I said, but whatever it was convinced her that my kissing this other girl was not a big deal, and she quickly forgives me. We embrace, and all between us seems okay. That is all I can remember. It seems as though I've been having dreams like this every night. Last night I was in an absurd situation with a blonde girl at a dinner table. I know there was a lot more to this one, but as usual, I cannot remember. I can't say that I do not enjoy these dreams, but I fear that soon my ex lover will enter them. If that occurs, I imagine I'd wake up with such pain and find myself in tears.

I was on a train, and the train doors randomly opened and closed. I lost valuables. M is causing it.

I am on a street. It is dark. There are only black crows. I realise the sun and planets had been banished. They discover I am on the planet's side and I am thrown into a dungeon with them. The sun tells me he was discovered as a 'planet' during a solar eclipse.

At my parents house, it is evening time and all the lights are on. There is a giant ant or maybe a few roaming about. I find them terrifying, like dr who from when i was little.
A dog appears from nowhere and snaps them up. Ir is a small daschund like dog, although it has fine shiny hair all over and is more light brown than dark. I don't usually like dog or am at least wary of them.
When I was little our neighbour had an irish wolfhound and a scottish deer hound that were both as big as them, in the end they put them down as they got to feirce. Anyway they used to chase us and sometimes would jump over our fence into our garden Oo this was very scary for me as I was only little at the time and they were at least twice my height. We did have a black labrador when I was a toddler, this dog reminded me more of that.
The dog went and laid on my clothes in a chair, I went over and felt compelled to hug my face into its fur. It did not move. I felt warm and protected.
Next a girl appeared, again from nowhere and acted nonchalant, as she helped herself to food. We never used to lock the front door, so I assumed shed just walked in.
She spilt a load of water when making coffee, but it was more like a flood (emotions?).
We went for a ride in a car, the girl and I, it was now daylight.
I can't recall what happened next but I was looking for where a lady lived, flying high up in the sky.
I spyed her house on a small street that was a mews of converted properties.
From above I could see steps cut from rough hewn stone, like they had been cut out of a mountainside. They're was an arch the length of the property with a metal grid underneath (castle style?).

I'm sitting on a bus driving through some mountainous areas, behind me there is seated a couple. The girl is telling the boy how she didn't always look this "attractive", before she wore thick glasses and had braces. Telling him about a place called Paradise Falls. About how she never understood the name before she got her glasses, and could finally see how beautiful everything was. That she actually miss that time, and those glasses. She currently got some glasses that looked similar, but they're not quite the same. Not the same soul to them.

I drift off, visualizing this place of mystic beauty, and begin thinking about some of my female friends that i had a better connection with before. Then i realize i have experienced this place before, in some way. I feel a wave of energy rush through me. Suddenly I'm no longer in a bus, but walking on a path in the forest of Paradise Falls. I feel the pulse rising, what the hell is happening. I continue walking, but the path disappears. I feel lost.

The trees are starting to look blurry and loosing their shape. I think to myself "No, now I'm doing this." Things are still fading away, it feels like I'm awakening. I sharpen my intention, and yell of all my strength "I WANT CLARITY!" It worked, I did it. I'm back in. Now another challenge appears, the scare of knowing that the dream "reads" my every though. Small gnomish trolls starts popping up everywhere, but i focus on truly believing that I'm the one in control here and the trolls dissipates.

I'm not sure i have "achieved" full lucidity, so i decide that now i need to really break some barriers. The forrest is dimming away and the color is graying, I'm fading and know that i have to be more confident for this to work. I again demand clarity, then i need to figure how to reinforce my lucidity. "I decide what's possible here and not". So i walk down to the shore, I begin to take a step onto the surface of the water. Jesus style. A split second before my foot hits it, i have a moment of doubt. This was enough to instead of making me walk the water like some demi-god, plunge headfirst into the lake. "Are you kidding me??" I'm thinking, as (and this was far from intentional) I start to rise up from the water and realize I'm actually flying. I laugh to myself a moment at how my mind have a weird way of working, then i take conscious control of the flying and soar to the skies.

Everything is so clear and vivid, and i really feel Paradise Falls to be a fitting name for this place. It feels like it's actually my backpack doing the levitating, as i feel the straps tighten around my shoulders. Then trying to visualize some wings, unsuccessfully.

Now i'm almost just flying on autopilot, like a bird i glide through the valley. Then i remember "I can't get too entrance by the beauty of it all, that's how i usually loose my lucidity." I fly down to a little white cabin, the door is locked so i think to myself that this memory must be a bit corrupt since i can't get inside (still believing i have been here before, but never in my waking life as i can remember). I see a crow up on the roof and head up to greet it. I decide that i want to try something with this black bird, and suddenly it's size changes to that of a butterfly (same with the lift-off, not an conscious decision and i realize this is my subconscious filling in where i lack the intention).

Every spot the crow touches on the cabin starts turning black as a wet paper would with the touch of an paintbrush with some black watercolor. I start to feel entranced again and decide i need to try something new, I make a leap to fly down to the ground. Like a cartoon character hanging in the air for a moment, suddenly I can't fly anymore and fall to the ground. Luckily i maintain the dream although i got a little stomach tingle from the jump.

I walk into the cabin, it's unlocked now. Trying to figure out what to try, and ended on elemental magic. More specifically flame-conjuring, something I'm somewhat successful in doing but can't seem to get 100% control of the looks and behavior of the flame.

Suddenly I'm pulled out of the dream, and kinda puzzled i feel that i have to go to the bathroom so bad that i can barely get down keywords of the dream (before i start getting out of bed and forgetting).
This dream felt like the real breakthrough i have been wanting for some while now, having the possibility to test out some ideas I've had for a while, and realizing that it's a lack of confidence limiting my lucid dreaming. Ironically all my reading about beginners-limits, is the real limit. Free your mind.

Achieved a lucid dream via SSILD and an internal mantra of "I will have a lucid dream". Ended finding the dream character I was looking for in the description that I imagined/expected and hugged her tight. Didn't have the joy of completion that I would have liked but better than another failure.

After that, I don't remember what else that happened in the dream. On a side note, finding things to do in a dream is a bit difficult because there are so many things to do yet I only get one delicate opportunity every 24 hours to try and achieve that goal.

Lots of dreams all night long.

+ fighting on a river with a bad guy lobbing "magic?" balls at me

+ yoda overpowers bad thing and traps it in a rock structure and starts crushing the rocks, he stops because he feels bad. I see the (alligator?) evil thing emerge from the rocks

+ little odd beasts rolling on the floor, kicking a tiny "ball" around, for them this invents soccer, I think

+ ping pong [DREAM SIGN] tournament: the net is too high/tall, it's specialized, they are playing with strong spin. I think if I practice this I could play with strong spin, too, and surprise the people who used to beat me

+ in a cage/cell, there are evil black dogs there pulling people out. The dogs or the people when pulled out start to come uravelled like they're made from stacked frames of metal. If you refuse to go out with the dogs, the alternative is that you will have your feet impaled with long iron hot spikes and it will hurt a lot.

+ in the back of a car with girls travelling up the hills to CH, I'm having semi-lucid thoughts, thoughts about dreaming [faceplant!]. Arrive home, there's lots of pizza [DREAM SIGN] around to eat, my wife takes a bite with my fork, I pull my fork back a bit too forcefully/impatiently from her and I think she'll get mad but doesn't.

+ driving on snowy roads, pulling into a forest clearing where a party is happening, rough/tough guys are gathered around and are toasting someone with lots of shots.

+ [fully vivid (awareness, visuals, tactile), long, stable] Walking through corridors with oddly slanted floors, around corners. End up in a room with a girl in bed and ST ensues. She's naked & lying on the bed, I'm kneeling at her head, and I start a long, slow, stable, erotic oral trip from her head and slowly work my way down to her (ahem) and spend some time there. Then I notice that the door to the room is open and there's a girl in the next bedroom (white/blonde hair) just staring at us. I say "I'm sorry, I need to get up and close the door". The peeping Jane doesn't want the door to close, she opens it and now she's sitting at a desk just outside the door to the room. I get angry and go speak to her firmly saying "I'll come talk to you when we're done, but for now LEAVE US ALONE!" and return to the ST girl. She's now fully dressed and wants me to continue, I want to protest and say "but the view is part of the fun!". I say it's time for me to get some attention. The ST girl goes to take a shower. I realize I can't recall taking a shower, I may have a stinky butt & (ahem) so I'd better go take a shower, too. On my way out of the room I spy my things strewn about on the floor and I realize I can't remember where my instrument case is, do I need to go find it? I walk through the oddly slanting and narrow corridors, but all the bathrooms are busy. I come to one room and there's an odd woman there I open the door look in it's not a traditional shower more of a sauna and I go in with quick views of that woman again and I'm trying to wash my butt and I'm digging around in there and I pull out chunks of the typical stuff there and it's really sticky and I'm trying to wash it off of my hands and I'm having a hard time doing that. In the meanwhile there are two girls outside the door which has a window in it not providing for any privacy and I'm now trying to wash my (ahem) but it feels really odd like it's swollen in a strange/bad way and I look down and it does not look or feel familiar: some parts are too large and some parts are too small.

I'm trying to get back to the room and the ST girl so we can continue. I can't find the way back. I'm back outside again in a snowy environment and now I'm walking on top of a snowy hill and I see dad's with kids and the dad's are working with shovels to shape the really hard-packed icy snow into a nice trail for their kids to sled down. I walk around the lip of this hill and find myself drifting backwards through the air, I expect at any moment to hit a tree. Some kids are talking with their dad asking "Will the snow still be here when we get back from Paris?". I'm then standing/climbing up a mountain of toys (hockey games?) which are slipping out from under me as I climb, I catch a glimpse and I realize I'm at a particular intersection of streets a few miles from my CH, I catch a brief glipmse of a park [FALSE] below me down the street. There are some girls here lying down and I goose them a bit and lie on them but I'm focusing on getting back to my beloved original ST girl.

Back in the ST girl hallway again there are people walking past me. One of them I think is her, I can't tell for sure, I look at her face and it's partially familiar, she notices me but walks past me, I take hold of her right arm and turn her towards me and ask, "is it you?" She indicates yes, but says (as means of explanation of why we can't be together), something like "(there is?) a husband". I say "Oh," disappointed, and let her go. I look at her hands as she leaves and I don't see a ring. I realize she probably is referring to the fact that I'm married and I feel a bit guilty.

I am living in a fairly big, yet very underpopulated city in the middle of the desert.
I walk through the streets with a DC who mght be my father though i'm not sure as he didnt look like him.
Food and water was very scarce so when I found a cactus I got ready to cut it open for the milk inside.
While I was about to get my hunting knife out of my pocket I noticed that I was constantly getting hit by small objects on my body which felt similiar to, -and made me first think that it was- a hailstorm.
Then I remembered that I was in the desert so it obviously had to be a sandstorm which it then ended up beeing.
A group of 2 guards (looked similiar to the guards in the new Dishonored game) approached us and ordered all civilians to immidiately return home because of the storm.
When I was about to move to return home my head felt incredibly heavy as if my whole body was getting pushed down by a tremendous invisible force.
At first I thought something was wrong with me, then one of the guards shouted for everyone to get down to the ground, which was an order followed by everyone around, all guards as well.
Then the sandstorm became massive for a moment and I couldnt see anything except brown all while there was a incredibly deafening weird sound was in the air.
When it subsided I remembered that my over 90 year old grandma was sitting in her living room on the second floor of a building and I became very worried about her so I immidiately got on my way to check on her.
While on the way the other DC I was with kept lagging behind as if hurt but he assured me he was fine so I kept moving and was soon on my way alone.
While in transit to my home I somehow learned that the oppresive deafening sound that glued me to the ground was caused by something absolutely massive (in the dream I thought of some enormous creature older than mankind. I dunno, maybe Cthulhu) becoming free in an ice layer deep under the earth (dont ask me why there was a huge ice layer right below the desert).
I saw a cut open model of the earth zoomed to a big layer of ice where inside was a huge purple crystalline structure, trapped for aeons.
I had the feeling a very meaningful revelation and change for the world was about to begin.

Then I returned home and saw that my grandma was completely fine and didnt even notice anyting strange happened at all.

1. I was sitting in a desk inside of what seemed to be a rather normal classroom when I decided to do a reality check. I look down at my tattoo and see that it is really fucked up in that it just looks really messy and that many parts of it have peeled off. "Holy shit, what the hell" I say out loud in a rather highly distressed tone. Instead of realizing that I was dreaming like I normally do, I become worried. Suddenly my friend Emily walks through the classroom door and comes to my desk. "Don't worry, I can fix it" she told me. With that she got on her knees and somehow got one green, orange, and black marker. She then proceeded to draw my tattoo back in with these 3 colors, with which she randomly alternated between. I remember just being really concerned with just how stupid it was starting to look. Sure, she had filled it back in, but it looked even more messy than before.
Parts of the letters on my tattoo were in the color orange and green, instead of the black they should've been. On top of that, Emily had managed to smear all of these markers all over my tattoo so that now it could've passed as a kid's drawing or something of the like. "All done" she said. "Okay thanks" I replied. With that she then got up and walked out of the classroom. "Jesus Christ this looks horrible. I wonder what people will think when they see it" I thought to myself. Just then something inside of me made me want to turn around, and so I did. At the back of the classroom(I was sitting on the first row of desks all the way up front) I saw A, and she was already looking at me with a wide smile. Immediately my heart started pounding and I was filled with emotions of joy as my stomach was filled with butterflies.
I get up out of my desk and walk to the back of the class where A is sitting. I see an empty desk right next to her and sit in it. "Glad to see you again" A said with bright eyes. "You have no idea" I told her as I failed to contain my smile. "Hey, what's your snapchat? I want to add you" she told me. "I don't know, but I'll show you my snapcode so you can add me that way" I replied. A already had her phone out, but I didn't, so I reached into my pocket and got it out. As I turned it on to open up snapchat, something messed up and I remember it taking me a minute or two to actually open up the app. Once I did, I went to my snapcode and showed A, and she scanned it and added me. I remember mentioning my score being around 22,000, and A told me hers was 30,000 or something like that. But when I went to look at my score it only said 2,002 or something like that and I felt a little ashamed(lmao).
When I looked at A's score she only had 3,000. We sat and continued to talk for a while longer, and once again, I made her laugh a lot. At one point I remember her looking me in the eyes with the most beautiful smile I've ever seen(God I mention this so much, I know) and she told me "I can tell we're going to become really close" and then she giggled. In this moment I couldn't help but adore her giggling, but I also felt a wave of happiness come over me because of what she had told me. "For so long", the thought echoed in my mind.

Note: my tattoo is now showing up in basically all of my dreams every night, even the ones I don't journal. Also, she is starting to show up in my dreams at least once a night. I'm making progress and damn does it feel good.

I am running through a forest. People say I will be caught by police but take no heed.
I come to a hill. The is not a hill, but a giants head. It starts attacking me. A character helps me to astral project and says "Be careful, the astral plane is very close to the dream plane" I am now in third-person perspective. I am not the dreamer and I am lucid. I have no power though. I try and shift a red button which represents lucidity onto 'me'. It works! My character kills it successfully and lands down.
I 'wake' and record it in a DJ. However I look at my watch and it has gone crazy! I am lucid.


Thoughts:
I think this might be a new to way to become lucid.

I remember that I was trying to get to my Directed Study class in 5th period, but I was lost. I had one of my friends by me as we searched. Eventually, we were lost in a place in the school. The teacher there let us search, but we eventually realized that we were in the wrong wing of the school. We then went to the other wing, but still couldn't find the classroom. When 6th period came, we gave up and went to science class. I sat in my chair, the teacher shouted at the person in front of me, (she wouldn't do that in real life, she's pretty nice in real life) and I went about my day.

Originally made on 11/24/16

I dreamt I was on the front lines at the second great juice war, where the armies of Juice lined up on the battlefield to take on the combined forces of Juice haters. Me and my friend Derick Donaldson sat astride great stallions. The sky grew dark and all hope seemed lost for juice and its followers. The juice hater army was advancing towards us, the walls of their fortress to their backs. Then, a light shone down from the sky and Margaret Juicer herself rides out infront of us. "Hold your ground, sons and daughters of Juice. Have we come so far to break now at the final moment? The moment Juice needs us to stand strong? Have we forsaken the fruit of life and the liquid that stems from it? Have we bowed to these oppressive carnivores who would happily devour our flesh if their craving grew great enough? I think not. Let today be the day we stand, for Juice."

I think this dream was a message to me from juice to make me stay strong in the face of adversity. In darts and in life, Margaret guides us all..

First off, I just want to say I definitely should've become lucid in this dream, I don't know what the hell happened.

1. I found myself inside of what appeared to be a coffee shop. The floor was made of black and white patterned tiles and the walls where slick black in color. All around me were people socializing, drinking what I assumed to be coffee, and people in line ordering whatever. Through the front windows of the shop I could see outside. It was raining fairly hard and thunder roared from the sky frequently. From where I was sitting I could only see a super busy road filled with futuristic cars, pedestrians, and buildings with neon lights that looked like they belonged in the movie total recall. "Wow what beautiful architecture" I thought to myself. Suddenly I get a text from my mom saying "What time do you get home from work?". I ignore the text and get up out of where I had been sitting and walk outside. "Jesus I should've brought an umbrella" I say out loud as I quickly become drenching wet due to the rain.
I walk to my right towards a parking garage. As I get inside I "remember" that I had parked my motorcycle at the far end of the first floor. It's fairly quiet, and on the way to my bike I don't see anyone, I just hear the rain and thunder still. Once I get to my bike I put my helmet on and start it up. I realize that it probably isn't too safe to be riding out in this weather, but oh well. Just as I am pulling out of the parking space I hear someone behind me, "Got room for one more person?". I turn around and see A. "Wtf is she doing here?" I think to myself while at the same time feeling extremely happy suddenly. "Uh yeah, hop on" I tell A with a confused look on my face. She then gets on the back seat of my bike and wraps her arms around me.
I drive out of the parking garage and am now on the same busy street I was looking at only minutes before. "Can you take me home?" A asks. "Sure, where do you live?" I say. "You'll see" she replies with that same insanely beautiful smile she always has. With that I just start driving down the road I am on, waiting for her to tell me where to turn. At this point the rain has slowed down to a light shower, and I am starting to feel cold. Just then A rests her head on my shoulder to the point where she can see everything that I can see. After a few minutes of driving, A tells me to take the "next left". I do so and find that I am now driving down a quite rural looking road. The road itself looks pretty neatly clean though; the grass is cut, the road looks new, and the random trees fit in well. As I keep my focus on driving and not crashing due to it still raining and me being on a bike, I hear something off in the distance. "Home will always be here, unseen, out of sight. Will I disappear, and hide?" a voice says. I recognize the words from a song that I know, but I couldn't remember it at the moment.
Now I'm on the verge of lucidity. Suddenly A tightens her grip on me and kisses me on the cheek. I'm sent into a moment of blissfulness while at the same time realizing that I no longer have my helmet on. "I wish I could see you more often" I tell A. "When you lose yourself I'll be right beside you" she replies. Out of no where my vision starts to fail me, and it's as though I don't have my glasses on anymore or something.

Note: I figured out the song, its "Umbrella Beach" by Owl City.
Also Note: I AM going to be lucid the next time I see her. She's basically a dream sign now.

1. I was in the backroom of my job, Walmart. I remember standing in the very back of this area, and A was with me. It was rather dark, but to my right there was some sort of extension of the building that led to a hallway that was made completely of furnished shiny wood. In this hallway all of the lights were on, so it made things easier to see from where I was currently standing. Suddenly I hear someone in the front of the room say "All right group, it's time for our daily meeting" they said. It sounded like Erica, one of my co-managers. I knew then that A and I had to get out of here otherwise we'd get in trouble. At the moment, no one could see us given that there still wasn't much light, and also that there was freight and pallets of stuff everywhere blocking our view.
I hear a lot of people walking. As I peek out from around a pallet that was taller than me, I see all of my coworkers standing in a circle. The meeting is about to start. "Just tell them you're my girlfriend" I told A "they won't be mad about that cause my other coworker's girlfriend sometimes comes back here to bring him food." "Okay" she nodded. With that we walked out into the open and now everyone was looking at us. Suddenly my other co-manager Joe activates some sort of super loud alarm. Just then I say "Wait stop, this is just my girlfriend" I tell Joe. "Oh okay" he says. He then deactivates the alarm by using his MC-40(a cellular device for company use like tracking inventory, orders, etc) and the alarm stops.
Now we are standing in front of everyone, not knowing what to say. "So what is she doing back here?" one of my coworkers that works in electronics asks. "She was just bringing me food" I reply. "What kind?" someone else asked. Suddenly my electronics coworker starts making up shit about how A is here for some other completely random reason that I don't even remember. "No she just brought me some Jack-In-The-Box" I tell everyone.

Note: I've noticed that every time I feel like I'm losing myself in waking life, she shows up in my dreams without any effort on my part.

#501-DILD-4:00AM

Well this should make up a little for the last few LDs; really vivid and stable.

I am in some strange house back in town. I see my Father and and wife milling about. Then we are in a car looking at the house. Neighbor's are outside staring at us. I think how this is all wrong. We live out of town now. I hate this. Then we are back in the living room. I am still perplexed why I am living in town, but then it dawns on my that this has to be a dream.

I immediately remember the lucid task to put my head through the floor. I kneel down and take a moment to stabilize visually. I pay close attention to my hands and the carpet. The texture is very vivid and the color is something like faded dingy mauve. It looks like someone needs to vacuum or, perhaps, shampoo. I go ahead and start pushing my heading into the floor. It feels a little like jello then solid wall. I try several times and stop when I realize and I not thinking about it the right way. This is more like phasing. I think to reach through like its an open window. Suddenly, There is an electronic whoooomp sound and a space opens up for my head and I peak into the sub-flooring. Of course, it's pitch black so I snap my fingers and create a flash light with my index finger. ET phone home? I am a little shocked how well my dream control it. Darkness it always a struggle for me, but everything is now brightly lit.

There seems to be a space of a few feet deep in here and directly in front of me is a mirror. I look into it and see my face is just a skull is with frame around it. I giggle at the oddity and then look around some more. The area is dirty with a few pieces of scattered trash. I try to take mental note of each piece but quickly realize it's a waste of time.

I stand up and now my head is poking out the top of the roof. I go ahead and climb up and see one of the neighbors taking out the trash. I tell him he's not my real neighbor and that I don't live here. He asks why and I say that it's because I don't like him. Then for some reason, I jump down and hit him with both feet. As I do, he grows like Jake the Dog and pushes me back up on the roof. Everything is getting weird and I realize that I am loosing focus. I decide to go ahead and wake up so I don't lose lucidity and forget the dream.

11/20/16
20th November 2016

Just a quick entry…

(private part of lucid)

I walk up to a DC that I take to be my wife as a toddler!



I go to pick her up and she becomes an infant that I hold in my left arm and call my son over.



My son is now an infant laying on a surface and I cusp his cheeks in my hands and I am amazed at how real he feels and it feels like I am experiencing him as a infant once again! Very special experience!