memorable

After my Japanese Dragons dream I went back to sleep using WILD. I was lucid from when I first entered the dream. I was a little girl sitting in a black room with a giant teddy bear. There was a corridor I went down there carrying my teddy bear and there was a door. I remember that if there is a door it can lead to wherever you want it to. I tried to go to Japan. Sure enough when I opened the door there was Japan! I walked through the door there were lots of light and people and busy traffic. I walked up to a random Japanese DC and asked if he liked my teddy bear. He said "no". I turned into Charizard and used my flamethrower on him. I said "Do you like my teddy bear now?" He was now laying on the floor looking all burnt. He replied "If I say no you are just going to use your flamethrower again wont you?" I knew myself that if he were to say no I would of used my flamethrower again on him so I woke up laughing. That was the funnest dream that I have had in a long time!

I used WILD to fall asleep as I do every night. I was lucid from when I first entered the dream. I was Charizard. I flew up into the air to go to Japan. After a while I was there. I went in a sushi restaurant and eat sushi. It tasted really really really sweet. Sweeter than any sushi I have ever eaten before. Then I crashed through the wall and wondered what to do next. I then remembered the task of the month. I saw a light blue dragon and a purple dragon walking down the street. I asked them what they were most thankful for. They said that they were most thankful for and the light blue dragon replied that she was most thankful for being able to lucid dream. The purple dragon said she was most thankful for being able to fly and she flew up into the air and flew away. I then throw a pie at the light blue dragons face. She liked her face with her GINORMOUS tong and breathed fire and burned down a few buildings. I then felt really really dizzy and I fell over. I began to panic since this has never happened to me before. The dream began to fade I then woke up. Now I think about it that always used to happen to me when I got excited in a dream or when I was about to wake up from a dream when I was younger. Maybe it has just started to happen to me again.

I had my alarm clock on 5 h after falling asleep - but was too lazy to do something - but two hours later then.
Did a WILD attempt with mantras - but I was not very patient and rolled over to sleep normally.

There was a dream - one of these classics - me too late for an exam, and didn´t know where - and another woman showed me the way.
I had a huge bag, which I couldn´t leave somewhere to not have it stolen and we went cross country.
Suddenly she did a jump of some meters, and me behind her - that made me pause, and do a RC - my nose plug again.
Yepp lucid.

So then - she was gone, I was in some flat onto which´s balcony we had jumped these meters for whatever reason.
And the most important thing was, I wanted to know, what somebody is thankful for.
But there was only a nice fluffy grey cat.
So I asked the cat - but it wasn´t interested and stalked away.

I then made a private experiment - woke up from it - but with falling asleep again, was instantly lucid once more.
Scenery another flat.
So - the months then - no problem, actually! None at all.
Then I let myself fall over backwards without looking - and it hurt a bit coming down on the wooden floor with my spine.
I should probably have told myself, that nothing bad would happen??

Anyway - window got opened the usual way - and even then I was first afraid to fly out this time.

But I did it - and I even managed to stop the silly swimming motions.
That had me hover and somehow I wanted to move and thought I might loose orientation.
So I remembered the zooming thing.
There was an old wooden shack with a damaged writing on the front, and I zoomed in on the A.
First - nothing happened - so I concentrated more and tried really to see details of it as if it was in front of my nose..
Well - then I almost ran into it with my nose - had to air-brake to keep me from crashing into the thing..
Might have even been one more task to try to go through - but that I didn´t think of at that moment.

So - down I went - and I saw 3 people through a high perimeter fence around a sports-ground.
I might have been "talking in my sleep" to them, because I had a certain kind of problem with vocalizing, which I had before and that was in a nightmare and I got told, I would have talked out loud then.

Whatever - after the initial problems - I did as if I was a radio-reporter and asked what the first woman was thankful for - she said - of all things - the church and what it did for humankind, weell.
Okay - two more left - next was a guy - and - believe it or not, he said something trivial and I forgot it, in my rush to reach the third person acoustically - didn´t think of phasing through that fence - too much concentration on the task as such.

But then I did phase through the fence anyway and was close to her.
And she said - she is thankful for the fact, that humans can understand what other people think, from talking about it.

The dream was loosing a bit of colour then - and I woke up on purpose not to forget it all.

(Had a brief nap this afternoon to make up for lost sleep and had this dream. It was remarkably well-formed compared to my usual napping dreams.)

The dream begins with a short fragment involving a room similar to my current university accommodation, which is connected to some form of multi-level arena in a black environment. It is possible the whole thing is a video game of some sort. This quickly ends and shifts to the dream proper.

I am visiting some form of day-care/community centre that I have apparently been attending regularly ever since I was a young child as part of my extra-curricular activities. Unlike all of the previous times I have visited, I am promptly called aside and informed that there was a hidden agenda to the centre the whole time.

It turns out that all of the activities in the centre have in fact been a form of training, and the centre is a facility at which they train secret agents and arm them with technology that can produce almost paranormal effects and abilities. As we tour the underground areas of the facility I am told that all of the uninformed subjects are periodically given tests in which they are exposed to shocking or otherwise psychological scenarios to measure their reaction, after which they are given an amnesiac which wipes their memory of the incident. Taking all of this remarkably calmly, I state the logical conclusion that I have also undergone these tests and don't remember them. I am then shown a tape of who I assume to be a very young version of myself being shown a video of some sort (though I wasn't able to identify the content of the video). In the tape I appeared disturbed by what I was watching, but was able to make it through the whole thing. I inquire as to why the amnesiac is used, to which the researcher explains that the psychological evaluation is based on the assumption that the subject is experiencing the scenario for the first time, not knowing the content nor the existence of the test itself in advance, to allow for comparing changes as the subject ages. I then proceed to perform what I assume to be some form of agility test in which I carry a tray of items down the hallway we just walked through without dropping them.

The dream shifts and I am sitting with several people who I assume are other subjects who have been informed of the situation next to a large blast door similar to the ones in the corridor I was walking through in the last scene (it may be the same location, but I am not certain). The other subjects are laughing at a form they discovered - it appears to be some form of alias sheet in which an agent can design a new identity for upcoming missions, but it has been filled out with a rather childish description of some kind of monkey-themed superhero, possibly by one of the younger subjects. I point out to the other subjects that despite the author not being present he may be in another 'instance' of the same room (for this scene it is as if we are in an online game in which only some of the users are present in any particular instance - I think I also catch a glimpse of a list of online users partway through), and briefly contemplate to myself whether or not the author in the other instance would be able to observe the sheet of paper floating around as the other subjects hold it.

The dream shifts again and I encounter another subject who has been turned into a child as a prank by way of a body-altering edible substance the facility has developed. They are visibly put off by this, but to my knowledge the effect can be reversed. After a short scene shift I enter a gym in which another subject promptly explains to me that the child had been an arrogant jock and he wanted to get back at him somehow. He also explains that he used the substance on himself to give himself a more athletic body as some form of poetic justice. He makes a comment to me as he leaves (which I am no longer able to remember) and I respond in the affirmative, before promptly eating some of the substance myself that I had been carrying around (it taking the form of a pinch of sugar-tasting grains that I had been carrying on a spoon) for an unclear reason - it is possible I had been intending to use it on him but changed my mind, or that I ate it to hide it, but neither is certain. I change, but I wake up before I am able to accurately observe what I look like.

Partway through the dream I had a dream fragment in which I was walking through an airport or train station of some kind while on a family trip, though I am unable to place it chronologically within the dream.

Last night I had a dream that led up to a young, deformed boy, no more than 10 years old. He was shirtless and explaining his bone formations to another boy right next to him. The first part of my dream, I don't remember, but I know that it came to a series of images that stopped at a sort of short clip that showed the boy explaining his deformity. I was not a part of the scene or interaction. It was like watching a movie and the deformed boy's back was facing me.

The boy's shoulder blades were the shape of narrow cones (almost the shape of a drinking glass) pointed towards one another that projected from underneath his skin about 3 inches further than normal and when he would push his elbows backwards, the two should blades would knock against one another. The boy then lifted his right arm making the should blade shift to point south. As the scene zoomed out from the shoulder blades, I saw the lower half of the deformed boy's back where an additional deformity grew from his spinal cord. His spinal cord began to protrude from underneath his skin about half way down his back the same way that his should blades did. The only difference between his deformities was that his spinal cord was gnarled and bumpy.

In the position where his right arm was lifted above his head, he would shift his shoulder causing the right shoulder blade to slam down into his spinal cord. It was such a malicious and aggressive movement on so innocent a body that the image is still haunting me even half-way through the day.

I woke up feeling hot and sweaty with a rapid heart beat, unable to return to sleep for another hour and a half.

11/18/13 LD #72 Late morning quick wbtb led to an awareness dild where I floated around the room and structure(drew it un-artistically), found Girl Friday and had a great time between the sheets. Dream sign mantra seems to be yielding some results but this one had more to do with awareness that the location was not in the same condition as it is in waking life...basically it was in the middle of remodeling.

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11/19/13 What is really strange is that one of my dream signs that only comes around maybe once a month but is usually a lucidity inducer (my deceased father in law) has shown up the last 2 nights and went right over my head (I assume my mantra incubated him into my dreams)...yet last night it may have kept me going in a more meaningful dream that was really quite special to me personally...it was my wife as a 2 year old coming up to me and she was just so darn cute...I didn't know her that young but I assume the DC was created from pictures I have seen of her around that age...(I am not posting my other dreams, getting lazy to and besides I have them in my personal journal) The dream:
Special one, false awakening into a fluffy bed with lots of comforters I can hear the train outside and I think that is strange this is not a place where I normally hear a train, it feels like its a house near (next town south) but perhaps it is the house on M. I get up and go to the living room and sit on the couch...later father-in-law gets up from bed I assume and comes and sits next to me as well as someone else gets up at the same time (feels like it is the strange version of my mother in law from the previous night's dream). He's telling me that he was seeing (this mother-in-law DC) or whoever doing something like a yoga pose where she's starts off on her back and legs up in the air and he's kind of wondering why does she do that, it seems like it has something to do with being able to lucid dream. A little kid walks by in the hall on the far side of the room, maybe about 2 years old and I hold my hands out and say come here about 3 times quickly and the kid comes towards me and surprisingly it looks like a young little (my wife's name)!! She is just so adorable. She has short hair and it just looks like her, like her pictures or like a really good representation of what my mind would think she would look when she was that age. She comes towards me but my father-in-law(her father) picks her up and it looks like she's fussing a little bit like she wants to come over to me and I say no its okay stay with (father-in-law) about 3 times as I rub her shoulder and arm in assurance. It feels like this was about to make me lucid as I woke up. As I'm laying in bed awake I think about how neat it is almost like traveling back in time to see her when she was young when she looked so darling. I also wondered if perhaps it was supposed to be our baby since I've been dreaming a lot about babies lately (no baby expected that I know of!).

After my dream battle dream I went back to sleep. I was in an assembly at school. Children from my lessons were there as well. Most of the children there were girls. She asked everyone why we were here and most people (including me) replied because they were trying to get to sleep. 1 of the girls said that she was here because that she did not like it when the Cadbury company were taken over and bought from Kraft. I though that was a little bit weird to say and I looked around and realized that it was a dream because that there was a door that was never there before. I ran down the stairs and went through the door. It was a black corridor. At the end of the corridor I saw a Webkinz Seal with a first edition W. It looked a bit gray. I picked it up and suddenly my dad ran past me and pretended to be a money and stole the seal and ran off on all 4s making monkey noises. My alarm clock went off and I woke up. This was a really weird dream. No wonder I realized that it was fake!

I had just found out that my best friend and her sisters share dreams almost every night so I asked my friend if we could try having a shared dream battle tonight. She said yes. That night I went to sleep using WILD. Once I was in the dream I was a headless chicken running around. I tried to make a portal to my friends dream. I could not do it as a headless chicken so I closed my eyes and when I opened them I was myself. I tried to make a portal but it would not work so I gotten a little bit frustrated. Then I remember from my Twilight Sparkle dream that I could use magic as Twilight Sparkle. I closed my eyes and tried to turn myself into Twilight Sparkle and it worked! I now used my magic and successfully made a portal. I concentrated on my friend and going to their dream and went through the portal. I opened my eyes and then I was in my best friends dream! There was a castle there with a big moat and a drawbridge. It was exactly like what she had explained to me at school that day. I then saw my friend standing there. I asked her if she was ready to start. She had spawned about 80 creepers and I flew away screaming because that she surprised me because she never answers my question. I then spawned a couple of robots that attacked the creepers. She spawned loads of Pikachu which jumped and climbed all over my robots. I was trying to spawn lots of Charizard but I turned myself into Charizard instead. I used flamethrower and killed all of the creepers. My friend was gone. I then suddenly woke up. I was lying in my bed. I then woke up for real. The next day at school I asked her if she had died because she dissapeared and if she saw me vanish. She said before I used my flamethrower she telaported behind me and killed me with a sword. Because she already knew that I used flamethrower before I told her and she knew that I must have woken up or gone somewhere else in the dream this proves that it was a real shared dream! This is the second shared dream that I have had. I might try and have another 1 tonight with a different friend. This was an awesome dream! I cant believe that having a planned shared dream together worked! I will try and do it more often now!

I had a dream where I was at a club at my high school. I was there with a few other friends that I hadnt seen in a while. Basically the whole club deal was inside of what used to be our auditorium. I saw many people from High school and all of the girls I knew where in questionable outfits. I was showing off some of my lame dance moves which includd this one move where I did a handstand and took off one of my shoes and kind of span around on it. Anyways I had a very fun very long night and this part of the dream reminded me of another dream I had that was at the auditorium.
So the auditorium top floor was a club while the flow bellow it was the actual theater that was being used for some activitiies. I was inside the club, which seemed like a large warehouse with music playing and was gettingn a lotta attention. One girl smelt my jaket and was weirded out by how it smelt. All the girls around me seemed to give off an aura where they were intereseted but were somewhat inndifferent to me at the same time. After I got tired of that area I went to the entrance which was outside in front of te auditorium. I saw a good sized line in front of the heater and walked outside for a while and did my dance move. I heard a bunch of peple say "you think that youre so cool, huh?". I then went babck inside the buildinand went to the floor bellow.
The drama teacher, who was some sort white blond dude with short hair, was tring to shoo people out of that floor because soon he was going to have a meeting. He asked me if I was in some way part of the drama club when I was in school. Me and a few other dudes said yes and we started talking about how we used to deck tech for plays and whatnot. He said that they were oging to have a club meeting soon. I was there witha few dudes from work, including one very large dude. We saw a bunch of little kidsd come into the room for this dramam clsub meeting. The big dude came in and tried to give this one kid a high five but the kid wouldn't because he was intimidated by his sizez.
Then the drama club teacher started talking to use about a petitition to keep the drama club name the same. It would cost eighty three bucks per person to keep it the samme and the new name wasn't all that different because they had just ammended the name change somewhat already. I felt that it wasn't worth it. Then I woke up.
~~~.
tHERE WAs a few toy story characters in this dream.. In it I had made a bet with someone or something that I could survive the night. It was me and another person that I cant remember, probably a toy, vs this female toy and another toy. the female toy group seemed like the bad guuys. Anyways the challenge was set in a huge field and it was whoever made it to morning wins. there was barbed wire fence that lined the field as a sort of boundr. There was a lot of flying and maneuvering in this dream as well as team work as to which toys that we were going againt
it wasnt a scary dream by any stretch, but moreso a challenge. I had used many fdifferent techniques to overcome me and my parterns adversarie which were, in fact, much more inherently stronger than we. I was fighting the smarter female toy while my partner fought the bigger and more aggresive other toy.
We tried to play many tricks on them in order to win, even going so far as cheating. Near the end of the dream the female toy turned into woody and I elieve I was a lesser known toy that was jealous of him. Woody wouldnt let me live it down though and just wanted me to give up by the end of the night because by all means we had lost. I ended up ripping woody to pieces on tthe barbed wire but that didn't do anything. He just reformed himself afterwards.
At the dawn though I was still jealous of him and his popularity but we had a good heart to heart talk. It turns out that I made a deal with Goodwin and his big rottweiler black guard dog like the one from up that if we made it to the morning we would survive. He granted mercy on us because we had fought valiantly.
I woke up in my aunty's room. I was laying on the floor and I knew that everything was fine. I owned two dogs in this house, they were brand new. one was a poodle and the other was a normal brownish mutt. For some reason someone threw some dog treats on the ground but the brown dog wouldn't eat the treat so I picked it up with my mouth and gave it to the dog. I distinclty remember the taste of dog food. I also wondered why I did that, because dog food tastes way bad. I also knew that the room was red and my aunty mel lived there. then I awoke.
Vack before when we were still fighting tme and my partner had used many clever tactics which included using the momentum we ogt as we traveled around the field arena and trying to make our opponents collide with some objects like a canopy from a jet. It seemed that our power was directed from how many people believed in us.
~~~
Had a bunch of lucid dreams. Each had to do with going outside and looking at the stars. One i had to defeat a badguy with superhero powers. Another i jus found people that i knew and talked to them.
I asked a dream charater if he knew that i was in a drewam and he g rabbed me by the shoulders and sc reamed yes! We were waitin for you to realize this.
Had a bunch of other dreams that i dont remember that well, most of them lucid.
~~~
it is set oon a boat. There is Sgt Shreiner there as well as s ome other people fro work. I don't know where we are going but it seems to be on some sort of adventure. We had just moved on from other modes of transportation to this one. On this new set of transportation there were a few people lready on it and they seemed to be a group themselves. There were a few different types of people but mostly old ladies, or at least there wer some. They were diggin on Sgt Shreiner. They even made little banners and designs for us, one of which was streamers connected to small Cardboard wings that were hand cutout. Sgt Shreiner talked about losing his hair and also I ended up in a room with another person and an old lady.
in the room we were all getting ready to sleep, as it was like a hotel room. I was setting up my iPod dock to play some music on y headphones but it would only play out loud.
Before this whole ordeal with the boat there was another part of the dreamI don't exactly remember what we were doig before, but it seemed that we were all collectively trying to get away from something potentially harmful., llike some sort of apocolypse.
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There was another set of dreams where I was with my family. We were travelling all over the place. We stayed in a bunch of different hotels, and I was by myself in a huge room. I think that we were near a huge amusement park, then we ended up and my grandparents house. there was a stack of bugs and the bee

We were in a normal room in a normal house. There were toys that were animate and a large number of pets, mostly dogs. There was something inherently demonic about something in the room, but I can't remember.
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i had a few lucid dreamss where i was the hulk and and there was also another hulk and his son and we would all go out and give hase to each other. We lived on a hill overlooking a giant expanse of ocean. There were tall rocks jutting out of it.
There were also very long ribbon like sea monsters in that water, probably a few football fields long. Most were a light purple in color while the last was a light bron on top almost like a certain type of shark.
I remember during our morning chases I felt very happy. It was an interesting feeling. I knew I was in a dream, but I wanted to try out a different way of flying, so I tried this. Leaping from place to place. I could feel gravity and weightlessness at the same time. I wasn't able to hop out of the water so easily though.
~~~
There was another portion of a dream that I dont remember that well. The end of the dream there was a very realistic depiction of a toy plush clown putting himself together bit by bit. From the loose shiny yellow material that made up his suit, to the Red puffballs that made up his hair and nose. I remember that I was watching this whole scene in the form of an animated comic book, with each panel being a different animation.
Slowly the clown put himself together, it seems creepy, but it didn't feel creepy at the time at all. Soon enough the clown toy started to take human shape. It was jack nicholson's face on the clown, the white makeup only being absent on his face.
~~~
In the dream the party was continuing on. There was a lot of different things to do, llike rides and such. We were all just having an amazing time. It was weird though because there was some sort of conflict. We all ended up in bunk beds in one of the rooms ater an extensive session. Then for some reason we had to leave. There was an issue with drugs or something. We ended up going to this big mall area, where my dad ended up talking to some shady guy that was selling drugs and buying them. He got all giggly and then tripped hard. There was a part of this dream that we all ended up going to the bathroom.
Anyway I think my dad had a bad trip, but I wanted to try out the DMT in the dream. I asked him if that was possible, and he tossed me a small bag with the drug in it. His only words were "Don't drink it, you will get a massive panic attack. Smoke it" and left. Before I was able to take the DMT though, I sat down and tucked it underneath me. I had a false awakening though which I knew because when I woke up in my room, that wasn't my room, the drug was still tucked underneath me. Thats how I got into a lucid dream.
~~~
I was in my room and I stepped outside. I tried to turn it to day time but it would not work. I started looking at a distance far away and as I start to get up to fly someone is behind me. He latches on to me and I fly. It seems he is supposed to be somewhat scary, but I am not scared whatsoever. I start flying backwards to that spot.
~~~
I am in Norway for work. I vividly remember seeing Norway from a distance above it, almost as if looking at a map. It was really beautiful. We were near an area that was by the shallow water. I somehow got home, but returned and noticed that I was somewhat paranoid that I was going all the way home, and I still had to go to work.
~~~
I am back in Hawaii at my grandparents house. For some reason I am helping my aunty clean up the yard by raking the leaves. The tree I know that is there in the yard is in a different position than I remember, and even though their dog is already dead, there is a lot of dog poop lying around in the yard.

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I’ll start in the middle, since I don’t quite know where this story began. Aislinge is not merely my name; it is the word I have chosen to describe what I am. A Gaelic word for “of dream”, though the root word aisling is also used as a female name -that is me, the girl of dreams. That is to say, I was not born female; I’ve had to learn how to conjure the experience through the magic of mind. There were other options, though I am not interested in merely changing my mortal body, instead I am working on a solution much greater. My mortal body will eventually grow old and die, but a fully realized being of the dream world can free themselves of this suffering. That is why I wish to begin a second life in that world and permanently become a part of the inner realities. Many would tell me this is impossible with current science, and they may be right, though I’ve decided long ago that if no one is going to give me the freedom then I will have to make it on my own. Even if it means evolving beyond the constraints of a human body and rewriting the apparent laws of physics, it is my dream, and I’m going to make it happen.

I lean back against the cold metal door of my house, lost in thought. My digital typewriter sits on my lap, the screen glowing ghostly green, eerily complimenting the bright light of a full moon. While wind on the lake roars in the distance, chills slither down my spine from the crisp air of winters eve. I pause to light my last cigarette, and have a sip of an ice cold cup of coffee. Their bitter earthy flavours shock my mind awake from that moment of surreal bliss. Soaking in the night with a deep breath of the serene country air, I drop the barely smoked butt in a makeshift flowerpot ashtray, and head inside to the guest room of the quiet old house. After silently opening the door, I step inside and slide my shoes off. Our large tomcat curiously watches the open door as I close it, looking for a way out, then trots off defiantly in a flash of black and white to his food dish like a spoiled teenager. I begin to tip-toe through the foreboding hallway towards my temporary bedroom, and pull the handle wincing as the hinges creak like a shrieking banshee. I shrug it off then stroll in to softly lay down on the royal blue futon and continue writing.

I have acquired some unique skills on my quest; one such ability allows me to dream while awake. I often use it to create hallucinations at will, either to simulate fantasies, or project my mind into the environment like a living ghost. I taught myself this so I would be able to emulate this female body into my perception, and it has worked exceptionally well. Although as of yet anyone watching will usually only see me go into a trance like state while I am focused on the fantasy. I wish to make myself perceivable, though so far I have only managed to learn how to describe the experience through language or illustration. That’s the main reason for writing this journal, so I can record these things in detail for further study.

It is getting late, though before I leave to go home for the night I’ll give an example of this phenomenon of mine. I’m still on the bed, lying in the dark room, with only the soft glowing display of the typewriter and the dim celestial bodies shimmering through the window. I close my eyes and feel my body changing shape. My jeans are growing loose as I shrink, tickling my smooth tender skin. While my hands become slender and slight I have to reach further to find the right keys. My shirt is now tighter around my gently curving breasts, and my underwear much more empty. I open my Inner eyes and see myself transformed, feeling my heartbeat rush and my cheeks blush. While lifting myself up to the edge of the bed, I notice the fabric weave of the futon vividly pushing into my soft palm. When I stand up my pants fall down, the boxers only held up by an elastic waistband. I walk to the door in floppy socks, and my hands are nearly covered by the long sleeves of my shirt. I open the door reaching a bit higher than usual, and head to the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror.

The reflection shows me with long flowing black hair, ghostly pale skin, and bright green eyes. My chin is rounder, and lips fuller, grinning beneath a slightly crooked nose. Above my socks, my slender legs blend into wide hips, and although my shirt billows around my torso it curves over the top of my breasts. With slimmer shoulders the shirt puffs loosely to the sides, and my thinner neck allows the collar to rest lopsided. I begin to prepare myself for bed; polishing my pearly white teeth and washing my cute face, then return to my room exited for the journey home. I walk in through the open door and climb onto the bed, sitting cross-legged in front of the keyboard to catch up where I left off.

The home I refer to is the world I enter in sleep, as that is where I am in my element. The world outside my thoughts is not yet ready for me to fully exist, so I have learned how to live in my mind. After all, it is in the womb of dreams where fantasies come alive and so it is there I will nurture mine until I can be reborn as an Aislinge.

I will continue using this journal for detailing my nightly practice in dream magic, with the main goal being my feminine alter ego. My study will take the form of incubating a vivid dream life by fantasizing regularly before falling asleep. This is to focus my mind on the goal, and trigger dreams with related subject matter. When I wake I will record the nights experiences here, and the more I do my mind will get better at remembering other life.

The next step I am taking in this journey is to develop the skill of lucidity, which is the ability to realize the differences between the inner and outer world, and so know which I am in at a given time. To do this I will study the records of my alternative life and look for things that signify I am in the other world. When I realize that I am in a dream, and my physical body is asleep, I will use my abilities to take my true form. For in that world I can explore my fantasies freely, practicing the technique to perfection to prepare to take it further.

I fall back onto my pillow and stretch out my legs, then pull the down blanket over me. Sliding my hands beneath the cushion under my head I start to fantasize about the adventures the night may have waiting for me. I wonder if I have been already living this life in my dreams, and have been calling to myself to remember. In many of my occasional lucid dreams, I remember meeting my alter ego as though we are two souls in a single body. In fact she was the one who taught me how to dream while awake, appearing as a hallucination and beckoning me to join her. Perhaps she is my subconscious I reason, living in the world of my mind all this time, and coming forth to guide me into her world...

23:43 bedtime

23:47 ate WAY too much too late for dinner, arg, stupid! Getting up to do some reading.

00:00 Sunday 2013-11-17

02:45
F1) In a group of people their attention is focused on something, something was trying to get in between them from the steps above.

I get wild/wacky/random dreams a lot but this one takes the cake I think:

1) In a huge open field late at night, I'm standing under a tower, I'm concerned that if I climb it I'll be hit by lightning, I start climbing up its stairway, I get blown off the stairs by wind, I'm barely hanging on by one hand to the railing over the edge, I imagine if I fall someone will come across my dead body. I get back up and climb to the top, I step on a certain place and the entire tower collapses and falls to the ground, I'm falling with the tower, I'm trying to find temporary footholds to lessen my fall on the parts of the structure that are still together, there's a brief vision (1/2 a second) of Dwight Schrute from the Office's face looking up at me from below with a scared expression, shouting "NOOO!"
When I reach the ground I start running for my house. Still on giant wide open farmland. I have to reach my home before something reaches me. A voice says the mushroom bloodhounds are going to come from miles around. They're drawn to whatever happened. I'm running, I have a set of keys in my hand, there's a number written there, ("9988?"), I look around, during flashes of lightning I see that the entire horizon is filled with little creatures running towards me. The creatures are at my ankles, I reach a door with a number matching the key, I rush inside, some of these creatures (like cabbage-sized mushrooms with big bulging Mr. Potatohead huge bulging white eyes with big black pupils, the creatures are are squishy and juicy) are coming in through the door I try to pull the door closed, and get in through another door (the first door was to an internal porch).

There's a woman there who's coming to visit, she's the one bringing all these creatures. I tell her I don't want these things, she says they're a gift, I say I don't want them get them out of here (I don't like their juiciness), she says ok she's taking them back. I look at her and she's absolutely beautiful young woman, shining and beaming and smiling at me. Very bummed to have missed lucidity that moment, she was a right proper "dream girl."

2) in a group outside, a restaurant there's a big surprise coming. (famous actor?) coming up from behind he comes up behind the guy at the head fo the table and squeezes his shoulders, it's a big shock. There's a procession (DO), there's one very odd character / thing which has empty eye sockets the eyes are bobbing around outside of the face fo the thing, which is some kind of construct, built from wires/sticks. Its attention is moving around, kind of spooky.

F2) Getting in to some kind of office, a woman says: "Will it be Asian, or Asian delight?"

05:34 FA #1 LD #7!!!!!
3) Wake up in my old bedroom in my parent's house, I'm in bed with my wife. Something's not right here, something about the sound (in WL there's a fan on in the room), I suspect a LD, nose pinch, I can breathe, YES, I am dreaming, this is a FA! I see a few things from my childhood room, it's dark, a Snoopy spelling trophy, went out into the hallway (always lit), down the stairs, as I pass the front door I think I should perhaps go outside and change to daytime. Instead I go into the living room, it's dark, just can barely see the outlines of the room, there is no furniture there! Did another nose pinch, I can breathe, my nose feels flimsy, like it's not even connected to my breathing apparatus. "OK," I think, "time to get down to business." I say "BE LIGHT!" to lighten the room. A weak light hovers around my face. I will it to be more light, and the room becomes about half-lit. I think nough of this 'no female entaglements stuff,' so I summon my first highschool girlfriend, I say, "K.S., BE *THERE*!" and point at the couch (which appeared at some point). And she is there! I move on the couch with her, straddling her, now the couch has reoriented so that it's back faces the room, and I can see the stairs. I think to myself, "this is a solid lucid dream, and it is going to last a long time" (WL intent). I felt like I could stay in for a long time. I initiate sex, the feeling is more like ND sex, kind of flimsy and things don't quite fit. My wife comes down stairs, I pull KS down lengthwise across the couch, kind of squishing her against the back of the couch, trying to hide her under me, cover her with a blanket. Wife comes right up to the back of the couch and looks down at me, "what are you doing here?" I say, "sleeping..." she moves away, back to the bottom of the stairs, then she turns towards me, and annoyed, says "I don't have time for this! I have to do (all kinds of things...)" I get mad, and command her to go upstairs: "BE UP THERE!" and I point upstairs, and ZOOM she disappears becomes a brown blur zipping up the stairs, like the cartoon character The Flash. I start kissing KS, but her face is dark, I say, "K, why can't I see you?", then she is lit well again. I see her, study her face, it's not a perfect version of K.S. but she is *totally realistic*, the color and pattern of her shirt, her hair, her face, all very life like. We kiss a few more times. I feel the beginnings of a climax, I will it to happen now, and I fade to awake in bed with a fast heartbeat. Try to DEILD back in but too awake.

I think this was my longest LD to date, 3-4 minutes. Lucidity about the same as my other LDs, not very high, but succesful summon and environment control (half lit room), and DC control.

Having no earplugs in may have helped: I think I noticed the difference in sound between the fan in my room in WL and in the dream room.

11:02

4) battle with a guy on a bed it has grates with water in them, he's trying to lure me close to the grates to that his weapons will work, I'm trying to get him close to the grates and squirt water down into the grate because that will cause his weapons to explode onto him. Water grenades of some sort with different effects. There is an explosion.

5) in an internal room, with lots of little sub-rooms off to the side with poles in them, it's like a porn store, there are little cone shaped (like trumpet mutes) devices which you're supposed to roll around with on the ground especially in a special powder which will greatly enhance the pleasure. I see big sweaty black guys pumping away with prostitutes in these little side rooms, really going at it, I think I don't want to go into these rooms, there's sweat and other stuff all over the floor and they're disgusting.

F3) MR, childhood friend. Something about owing him money or getting money from him

F4) Finding a teacher so that my kids will learn how to get into medical shcool.

6) (earlier awakening). In a room below ground level in a house (I think my old house in CP). I open up a ground level window, it's painted white, there's a wooden set of bars/lattice on the window, in the lower left hand corner there's a white/pink sponge jammed into the lattice, at first I think this is a motion detector but then I think it's to prevent the rats from coming in. Look past the right side of the lattice at ground level in the backyard, there's a small wooden grating just past the window, in between this grating and the lattice hidden in some plants is a rat's nest with 3 or so rats jumping around, a mama and some babies.

At the other end of the house. Standing right outside a window, looking down to the ground, there is a fairly large and deep hole that goes under the house, there is a family of ground owls (I see them, about 3) that live there. I'm showing this to a bunch of Chinese people. A teenage girl shrieks in fear at something up in a tree, I'm annoyed because it's just a white flower. There's an attractive woman and an annoying guy, the guy says "let's go off (somewhere),", I say "yeah, let's do that!" and he goes off and we ditch him, I"m pleased with myself. I take her hand and lead her behind me to show her the rats nest I found earlier. Her hand is a bit sweaty. The nest has been cleaned up it's not there any more. We're back in the room where I saw the nest to begin with, there's a big party going on, lots of tables are set all throughout the different rooms, all the tables have glasses of champagne and wine on them. I ask if she'd like a drink, she says yes, so I sit her down at a table and go off to find 2 fresh glasses of champagne. I find one but can't find another where the glass hasn't been used (I see lipstick markings), I'm walking all around to find a glass, I eventually enter a large area where a caterer is working preparing food, I ask the caterer for a clean glass, they say "no there are no clean glasses left." I think about getting a bowl and pouring a drink into the bowl, but I think "nooo, she doesn't want to drink from a bowl." I think about pouring a drink from one glass to another one, fooling her. I don't make it back to her.

One of my worst sleep nights ever, probably was awake at least half the time from 00:00 to 11:00, but I don't care since I had a fun LD (first FA!), and lots of interesting NDs.

I went to sleep while consenting so that I would be lucid from when I first entered the dream. After a while I was in the dream. I was a princess riding a bike through the forest. I got really excited and I almost lost the dream. I got off the bike and began spinning around with my eyes shut and concentrating to stay inside the dream. When I stopped spinning I found myself in a castle. After a few moments I realized that I was Twilight Sparkle! I exploded the castle and it was not very big. It only had 1 other room and a staircase. Then I realized that because I had wings I could fly and because I had a horn I could do magic! I then gotten excited again and had to spin. I had gone to the forest that I was in before. I was still Twilight Sparkle. I saw some rocks on the ground so I used my magic to make them all fly around. After that I was walking around and suddenly Flutter Shy appeared. I said hi to her and asked her if she wanted to fly with me. She said yes and then I flew up into the sky using my wings. Flutter Shy was behind me. I suddenly saw Rainbow Dash and she started flying with me. We flew up into the clouds. I was really excited and because I was flying I could not spin around to stay in the dream. I woke up. It was a really cool dream and I was lucid throughout all of it which I have never ever done before! It was wired for me to dream of my little pony because I have not been watching it recently since I have seen all of series 3 now. I have also never dreamed of my little pony before. I am still not complaining it was an awesome dream and I really enjoyed it! Could not believe it when I had woken up!

The dream I remembered this morning felt like a shortened version of a week.
I was living with my girlfriend at this school, but it wasn't a normal school. They had the students partner up and stay there for a week, answering questions every now and then to see if they could succeed. My memories of the events there are scattered and random, but here's a few:
-My girlfriend and I checking out the food selection.
-Opening the door in our classroom/sleeping room to see an ocean.
-Trying to find my friend Aaron but never managing to find him, even though he said he was there.
-Having a quiz in class to write about your strangest memory and say it to the class. I couldn't figure it out.
-Having to do a group presentation with your partner.
-Telling off a bunch of jerks in masks who were trying to harass me.
Things really took a turn for the worse when the week was almost over. My girlfriend and I were exploring the kitchen area of the place. She split up and went downstairs to look at something while I was looking at something else. When I finally went downstairs, and looked around, she wasn't there, but the jerks from earlier were. They tried to attack me, but I ran back into the building and kept the doors from closing by sticking my leg in between them and making them open again.
When we got up the stairs, I fought them and they ran away, but then some other dude came who was half fox half man, and was using a rapier. I ran away from him, shouting my girlfriend's name, but all of a sudden the lights went out. They were closing up the kitchen for the night.
No, no, no, no, I thought. I ran back to the entrance, the fox guy now gone. The door was locked tight, but I saw some light on the other side. I banged on the door, yelling for help, but no one came. Eventually I managed to bust through the door myself, and of course they appeared when I did that.
As I made my way back to my classroom, I felt scared. I looked and looked for my girlfriend, but she wasn't there. I asked everyone, and they said they haven't seen her.
And that's when I woke up. A bit of a scary dream in some ways.

I remember that we were having a party and I saw these 3 people always in a group.
One of them was the Jill actor from the Resident Evil 1 movie, and the other 2 I never saw them before.
A person I saw the other day was the doctor for our family.
So we were just having fun and I saw the three of them leave to do something.
I decided to follow them and see what they're up to.
I went out and noticed that one of my neighbors garage was open.
When I went over there, it was pitch black so I some how knew to try echolocation. I went to look around and, I don't know what happened but, I saw one of them injured, Jill tending to her injuries, and the other one sneaked up behind me. I used my echolocation to get back to my house but i felt something on my feet like a piece of meat or something.
I got scared and made for my house. I don't remember what happened after that but it was the next day already.
We were getting ready to go somewhere so i went into the garage to get my shoes. But the door to the garage was behind couches (I don't know where we got the couches but they were all over).
I got my shoes, put it on, and never found the door to the garage again.
I went to the backyard and found a chicken with lots and lots of baby chicks in a shed.
I decided to let them out for a bit and later when I went to put them away, the chicks were all over the backyards.
Took me a while but I finally got all of them back in the shed except 2 of them.
One of the chicks went under a hole and onto the neighbors yard and the other one was at the side of our house.
For some reason, the side of our house was a swamp and the chick just kept fleeing over there when I tried to get it.
I saw my dad told me not to go in but I did anyways. I went in, and the water was 3 feet high or so.
I tried my best not to get wet, but I did. Had to take a shower.
It then skipped to where I put on my shoe again and for some reason, we were afraid of the doctor guy because he was a murderer or something.
He came by the door and I found this one thin piece of metal that look like a needle to defend myself with.
He soon left but for some reason, the police was after the 3 people at the party. I went with them and helped hide them from the police. I don't remember much after that and then I woke up.

i had a very stable lucid dream just now, felt like it lasted hours, very vivid, very realistic. to me this is the biggest achievement bc i integrated all the methods i learned- hand checking, expectation, stabilizing, repeating it's a dream, etc... and it worked wtf!!!

ok so first i was getting into heroin (which is bc before i fell asleep i watched this documentary about how meth is an epidemic in sf for gay men- guess i just changed it to heroin). i injected myself for the first time and felt a rush. then i had to walk to my house. on the way though, everything got weird, fast. suddenly i noticed there was a lot of commotion and flashing lights and people running. it was bright daylight and i felt so good bc i was high so i almost didn't care. in fact i actually didnt care bc i was on the phone with ashley and i was telling her all this random shit about how gay people had more rights now and that i finally saw '21 and over' and couldnt stop quoting it (which really isnt true). while i was on the phone, sam b from scu was on my street and he looked at me and motioned with his hands and he was like 'there is an accident!' or something. i actually ignored him bc i sort of forgot he said that in the dream

eventually eric from scu came and said there is an accident and i was freaking out this time and i thought it was my fault but eric wouldnt give any details. i piggy back rode on his back to my house wtf and then at my house i had all my prep stuff and supplies and injected myself with more heroin and was in this heavy delirium and it was almost so intense that i thought i was going to explode or something. i looked out my window and saw an almost transparent reflection- a heavily armed man with a helmet and all this gear and camo aiming a huge gun straight at me. i heard 2 shots (not really loud like a real gun?) fired and i was crouching low under the window.

at that moment i realized that mom was going to come home from work soon and i had all this drug shit out. i also realized that if the cops came to save me or something i was screwed bc i had the paraphenelia. so i quickly tried to fix it but i was noddin off from the h. false awakening: mom came into my room. she didnt notice the stuff tho, bc i kind of put shit on top of it to cover it. but i started crying and hugged her so tight bc i was freakin out bc there was a guy aiming a gun at my window. mom started hugging me too but it was really tight and suddenly she was chocking me around the neck with her "hug". i literally couldnt breathe (felt like) and i was trying to stay "stop" but it was so hard. she finally stopped and left.

i had to figure out why the gunman was there. i found a bunch of journals in my room that were mom's. they were heavily detailed, there were lots of drawings she made of architecture and random scribbling notes all over it. mom can't draw but the drawings were actually very good. i tried to look and see if the drawings were her or printed from a publisher onto the pg, and it required me to analyze the pages really hard and the images are fresh in my head of the renderings. it was hard to tell whether she drew in it. but there was a lot of writing about John Baptist the Third, whoever that is. Mom suddenly came into my room and said we need to go, we need to escape. so i followed her and i was like mom wtf is going on and she wouldnt really tell me and i was like MOM WHO IS JOHN BAPTIST THE III? and she was like 'natalie. i'm the mother of john baptist the iii" and i was like "is that our cousin jonny??" and she was like "no, its the prominent mormon leader. im the most educated person on the topic in the world" and i was like "ARE YOU MORMON??" and she was like "oh god no" and then i realized WTF this is absurd. i realized it had to be a dream. i was like "MOM this is a fcking dream and that's not true!" and mom was like "no it isnt" and i was like "OH YA? lemme prove it!! can i FLY in real life?" and i flew and then she was just like indifferent.

i went home so i could do some lucid shit. i decided to stare at stuff and make it morph. i had this cubical shot class and i looked at each side and made the image on it change to wat i wanted. i chose pokemon and a bunny. then i decided to let my dream choose the sides. each time i turned it there was this elaborate neon pattern.

then the dream switched to me being in a car with casey and some guy. i still knew it was lucid tho. the dude gave me a mint and i dont like chocolate mint so i wanted a snickers so i just expected a snickers and it was! more affirmation that its a dream. when we got to casey's house, there was about to b this huge reception or something. it was a pretty nice house. i was in the living room and alex came in. i was like "dude idk im stuck in this dream and i cant really get out (bc i had tried to wake up earlier bc the gunman was so fkin scary but i kept wakin up to mom like i mentioned). he was like "this isnt a dream nat" and i just started floating to prove it. i was like "u wanna fly too?" and he was like "well ... damn ok ya sure" and then we just kinda flew around the house together and had this good sibling connection for a sec. then i went straight to the back door (where all the guests were coming in) and wanted to mess with them bc i knew it wouldnt matter bc its just a dream. ryan n zach dp were there and i flew straight up close to their faces and was like yelling random shit like "goobideegooo blaaa!!!" and they were all confused lol.

then the guests started leaving and i wandered outside and noticed a huge board of artwork. it was actually the most interesting art ever like i dont even know how my mind could come up with such beautiful things... it was like random images but sort of abstract with dark outlines and not proportional (a poodle, among other non-coherent images). i stared super hard and close in awe of my dream's capability to come up with such beautiful things. i decided it was time to wake up bc i was done with this dream. it was exhausting.

i went into the living room and casey was like 'i cant take you home bc we have guests still' the guests were a few ppl including this kinda creepy ish black guy. they would NOT let me go home and i was like ok fine ill just do some crazy lucid shit. the black guy tried to have sex with me right there in the living room and at first i was reluctant but then i was like oh well w/e its a dream ill do it and see how it is. his teeth had like gaps, just tiny ones in between each tooth. he wasnt really good looking and he definately was older but whatever i just tried to b attracted. the sex was actually really good and i tried to focus on the feeling of it in the dream and see how realistic it was. it really did feel realistic but also felt a bit different- almost like a different kind of pleasure or something.

then i went home and had a couple more false awakenings. i was frustrated bc i really really wanted to wake up. each time i woke up i had to make sure the heroin was gone. the last false awakening i realized it didnt matter bc i was in a dream.


DAYUMMM crazy fuckin dream. the craziest part was how DETAILED it was like all the writing and art i looked at.