non-lucid

24.10.2013

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Cochilo no trem. Eu estava sentado e em um flash me lembro de uma imagem de um caminho ou trilho e não sei se eu ia em direção de algo ou se alguma coisa vinha na minha direção. Acordei assutado e me "jogando" pra trás. Depois senti um medo muito grande e tentei me lembrar do sonho inteiro. Embora lembre apenas do flash e do "caminho" eu tive a sensação de que houve algo mais antes disso.

24.10.2013

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Robin Willians vestido de mulher como no filme "Uma babá quase perfeita", em um restaurante com conhecidos, todos comendo macarronada com frango assado e ele tentando convercer seu filho de lhe ajudar em alguma coisa. Seu filho se recusava e ele ficava com expressão de choro, dizendo que ele o odiava.

23.10.2013

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Eu era o Batman e me via de frente como se estivesse me olhando em um espelho. Eu dizia "I'm Batman" com a voz rouca dele. Alguém estava comigo me ajudando a me vestir(?). A minha roupa era a do Batman do Bruce Nolan.

Dreamsign

Family encounters
My wife is driving. We're finding a space in a parking lot to go to a store. For some reason, she picks a spot in the far corner of the parking lot, as far from the store as we can get. Other parts of the parking lot have cars, but this bit is deserted. The parking lot is huge - I can barely see the store we're going to. I ask Bethany why she parked all the way out here, and she says that last time we got a good spot near the store, so we should let someone else have it this time around.

As we're getting out of the car, a car with a Hispanic family drives by. They pass us on the main parking lot road, back up, and come down our row. The husband is driving, and he's irritated with us for some reason. We continue getting out of the car (I think I get the baby) and trying to pacify the husband. Eventually, something clicks, and he becomes friendly.

Now I'm in our home with that family. I'm going to be giving his late-teens-early-twenties daughter a ride somewhere. Now we're in the garage, and she's loading her stuff in my trunk. She asks how it opens, and I explain that you can either use the button near the driver's seat, use the key, or use the remote, but that it doesn't have a button on the trunk itself to open it. She accidentally closes it before she's done, so she comes around to me to get the keys; I remind her that she can just use the button near the driver's seat.

As she's putting her stuff in the trunk, I'm standing in front of the car, looking at the window in the garage. A whole collection of large, very colorful insects is on the fly-screen (which is closer to me than the glass). She comes up; now she's supposed to be finding ammo, but instead she reaches out and touches one of the bugs, thinking it's the ammo she needs. Some of the bugs in the window are dead and on display, but others are alive, and the one she chooses is alive. It starts flying around angrily; I hope we don't get stung. We have a conversation about insects; she's amazed by the bright reds and yellows of these bugs, that they attract so much attention yet warn other animals not to mess with them.


Basement weirdness
I'm in a daylight basement. The stairs are behind me, and the outside door is in front of me. The main door is open, and the storm door is closed. It's split into 3 panes; a big one covers about 2/3rds of the door at the top, and a couple of smaller panes are on the left and right at the bottom. The right-hand bottom pane is missing, and the dog that lives in the house is trying to get out through it. This isn't my house or my dog, but I know he's not supposed to get out, so I grab him and try to hang on.

Now I'm outside. I'm sitting at the end of an 8 foot table; two tables are end-to-end, pushed up against the house near the door. A bunch more similar tables are arrayed behind me. Just inside the door in the basement is a compressor or some other loud piece of machinery. I can't switch tables, but I'm staying as far away from it as I can. I'm trying to work, using my laptop, and the sound makes it hard. I'm trying to send my team lead an IM to let him know that I ended up taking the previous afternoon off. It's time for the daily call, and I don't have anything to share because of my unplanned "vacation." Unfortunately, people keep sending me messages, distracting me, and I can't ever seem to send the message. Eventually, my team lead sends me one, asking why I'm not on the call. I give up on sending him a message of my own and try to call in, but there's a problem and the call isn't going through. I manage to send him a message about that.

A stewardess comes by with her drinks cart and asks me what I'd like. I'm amused that a stewardess is bringing me drinks at work, but I also recognize her, and she me; this isn't the first time she's ever brought drinks around. It's already been a rough day, so I loudly say "whiskey!" and we all laugh. I eventually tell her I want a ginger ale. She pours a tiny bit into a cheap plastic cup and gives me the cup and the can. She tells me that IBM has an alternate phone system that uses radio (I see an image of a radar screen with blips on it), and it's more reliable than the normal phone conference system. My team lead and I discuss trying to use it but eventually decide not to.

Now I'm walking around outside. The tables are gone, but the building is still there. I'm talking with someone about some kind of natural disaster. A reporter is trying to do an extremely politicized report, blaming the disaster on the incumbent.

Now I'm back in the basement, talking with a young woman who lives there. She's having trouble with her oven. It takes some extremely exotic fuel, and it's not burning right. The oven is in the middle of the room, near the door; another oven is by the far wall. Other than that and a table near this oven, the basement is empty, but it's huge.

Now I'm looking at a guy sitting at the end of the table. Something is wrong with him. He's embarrassed about it, but narrating his symptoms for someone. Something strange happens, his skin becomes very pale, and I enter into a minigame in which I need to catch fish that pop out of his body. At first, I don't realize they're fish because they look so strange - just brown blobs - so I have to restart the section. I click through his narration to get back to the minigame. This time, I do better getting the fist, though the controls are really flaky. At one point, I manage to block up the drain the fish fall through so I have a much easier time, but eventually it unblocks. Little tiny green gems start coming out along side the fish, and I make sure to grab these, since they're probably worth 1000 coins (I don't know it for sure, but it's common in these kinds of games). The gems start getting bigger, and I start concentrating on them more to the exclusion of the fish. They start to get so big that I can't collect them without breaking them down. I can't do it by hand, but I find that if I bite them they'll break into smaller gems that I can collect. Eventually the gems get so big I can't even bite them. The edges and corners are very hard, not quite sharp, and I have to be careful not to hurt myself as I work with them. Eventually the minigame ends. I step away for a moment, then back, and find that everything from the minigame is gone. I realize the ambient light melted it all and hope that my collection was recorded.

Now I'm back at the insect window in my garage, since that's what displays my achievements. I see that I have eight-hundred thirty-six green gems, which is less than I'd been expecting; then again, I have no idea how many I'd had before and what's considered good, so I don't worry about it too much.

Dream recall from today's WBTB/naps.

Dream 1(fragment):

There was some electroguitar-like music.

Dream 2(fragment):

Was talking to someone.

Dream 3(fragment):

Was playing some game.

Dream 4:

I wake up, keep eyes closed and try to DEILD, after a while comes tactile HH where i feel some kind of serpentine creature, then followed by rough entry into dream with loud sounds and sensations. It transitions into FA and i get up from bed, i notice that room has different layout which seems to be a mix of few old ones, also my PC looks slightly different. Also the weird part is that there"s still noise, then it transitions into two or three voices talking with each other, but i can"t understand what they talk about. Also gravity seems to be low. After looking around for a bit i try changing form, but with no result. After a few tries though dark scales appear on my hands. The whole time voices continue talking. I then notice a few white particles phasing through walls in a few places, i decide to go to balcony, which is open, but dream fades halfway.
I am back in the bed again with closed eyes, there are noises again which then combine into some kind of scream, so i realize that i am still dreaming, i open eyes but i wake up instead, whoops.

I was in a long line that stretched from my house to (you guessed it) a warped version of my school. This is another thing I should keep an eye out for in my dreams..
I was waiting in the line with my girlfriend. Apparently there was a play going on at the school. When we got close to it, my girlfriend mysteriously disappeared and I was left wondering where I should be going. I entered the building and discovered my girlfriend's mom, who got angry at me and told me to put my two packs of luggage (which I was magically now holding) under the stage. I tried to do so, but she shouted.
"You need help with those!"
"But..not real-"
"Go get help."
I walked towards the stairs and found a manager there who told me to go put the two packs under the stage. I got annoyed, telling them that that's what I was trying to do in the first place.
I put my luggage under the stage, and headed back to the stairs, this time going down them. As I did, a large group of people headed up. They were who I assumed to be the actors for the play. I saw multiple people I knew, and a lot of them gave me dirty looks, even though some of them are friends in real life. I got to the last step and entered a large, warehouse looking place. The line was stretching all around the edges of the walls here, from left to right, filled with people. I tried to figure out where my girlfriend or my friends were, and found one of my friends who told me how stupid this was.

Dream 1(fragment):

I was playing some video game.

Dream 2(fragments):

There was competition of some kind and a fight.

Dream 3(fragments):

I was watching someone playing a game, he drove a car on the road and then he ran into some black shadow thing and had to escape it.

I could turn invisible and visible at well along with flying abilities. There were other heroes as well, like Batman, Robin, in different costumes. The villains captured them, and took on their old costumes, (as in, the original Batman suit, etc.)

My parents were in there too, and I had to find out a way to save them. I nearly screwed myself over because I was still visible when I tried to escape the building they were trapped in, which was very reminiscent of my Aunt's restaurant. While I was struggling to get home, I realized that someone was going to my house to console me. So I tried to teleport home before they got there and found a missing me. Unfortunately, the home button on my teleporter had broken (really, the teleporter was only a sticker,) and flew out of my hands. I said fudge it, and tried to scramble home.

On the way back, I found a street that is very, very similar to me. Only with a huge apartment on one of the corners of my vision that was also familiar, but not supposed to be there. It began raining, tasted like very salty sea water, and I decided to communicate on people in buses. I drew pictures of stuff, wrote words to this one girl, and as she was taking off, I woke up.

The only thing I remember: I was in class. My crush was about to sit next, so I moved over to give her some room, but she sat in another spot (with a somewhat disgusted look on her face).

Ouch.

Original entry dated Feb. 16, 2002:

I had a dream that D and I went to buy a new bike. I was gonna trade in my old one. I wound up with a pink one with this weird little engine-thing attached. Anyway, where we lived was this scary supernatural world. Like, the laundry room - nobody went in after dark. If you opened up three of the washers, you'd find creepy, on the verge of horrifying, things. But if you opened the fourth washer, you saw something so incredibly and awesomely terrible that NOBODY was willing to go anywhere NEAR that washer (much less open it). There was a little girl ghost in a bonnet who would wander around collecting change for my laundry for me, and I always warned her not to go into the laundry room at night, and to go nowhere near the fourth washer. Anyway, back to me. There was this weird... like... demon overlord dude who masqueraded as an eight year old child with ice-blue eyes and white hair. When the kid died through some freak accident, he decided that he was gonna make the world a really shitty place. He specifically tried to hurt my friends and me. There was also a house called "Harriet's House", which was a museum of sorts. It was now a Londonesque sort of home, but used to be an asylum type place with torture chambers. People would go on tours through there, but were warned before they did. The proprietor was a tall black lady with her hair drawn back in a bun. She wore a brown sort of pilgrim-looking dress. The rest of the dream was pretty blurry.

I also had a dream that I worked for a company that produced video-games. We were in direct competition with another company that an ex-friend of mine worked for. It all sort of sucked. It wasn't so much scary as really depressing, and I can't remember most of it, except that the rival company stole our hit title idea.

I dream about a man... he is fairly wealthy, he's a respected lawyer. He's tall, with pale skin, blue eyes and very short blond hair. Something happens - he has a mental breakdown, or something - and he loses his job, and everything he owns, and ends up homeless.

Rather than hang around the city, where people might recognize him, he heads out into a more rural area. He's always looking for somewhere to hide in order to sleep... bushes, thick brush, etc. The landscape is very Midwest. It's harder than you'd think, partly because farmers pay attention to what's going on on their land, and partly because in order to be able to get any of the stuff he needs to survive, he still needs to stay near the highway. He's sleeping in some brush when his ex-wife recognizes him one day, and it's very uncomfortable.

He makes friends with a kid who wanders around the countryside. The kid is a little boy, also blond... he has run away from home. Even so, his family is very poor. The two of them find the dilapidated ruins of an old house. A company started building houses, but never finished them because the economy tanked and they ran out of money. A little girl lives in one of the other half-built, decaying houses.

"Their" house has graying wood siding with peeling blue paint. It has 3 floors. It's mostly unfinished, without a roof or anything, although it does have a trapdoor up to the attic. Naturally, because this is one of my dreams, the house is haunted.

The lawyer guy camps out in the attic for a while. The kid takes one of the downstairs bedrooms... despite being half-built, the house still has broken down looking beds in its bedrooms. Lawyer guy has lots of sheets of paper that he likes to arrange in stacks. After a while, the attic gets too uncomfortable because it's too haunted. The kid feels things pull on his leg all of the time. But it's shelter and sleeping out in the elements is still worse.

The kid's mom eventually shows up. She decides that maybe she'd like to buy the house and fix it up. She realizes that the lawyer guy is camping out there... he's worried about what she'll think about him hanging out with her kid, if she thinks he's dangerous, even though he cares about the kid a lot.

There's another kid, a shitty rich kid, who likes to pick on the poor kid. They have a competition involving bottle rockets, and the mean kid sabotages the poor kid's rocket. The poor kid is distraught, because making his rocket cost him a lot of money (for him).

The kid has a crush on a girl, a mutual friend of theirs... she's a bit chunky, with brown hair that goes past her shoulders. One day she starts flirting with him, kissing him, etc... he figures out she had a fight with her boyfriend (the rich kid) and she's just doing this as "revenge". He gets pissed, and tells her to get lost.

Somehow, he ends up falling down an embankment next to the house. He feels something try to shove him into the highway. He grabs onto a tree, but feels it trying to peel his fingers from around the trunk.

I wake up.

Review:
Dream clues:
- Spectator perspective
- Haunted house
- Ghost

Dream recall from today's WBTB/naps.

Dream 1(fragments):

I was playing serious sam 3 coop together with SilentEternity, there was a battle in ruins place near big gate and apparently enemies from old serious sam TFE were here too, with improved models and i've also found a grenade launcher. In the end we managed to destroy them all and win.

Dream 2(fragments):

I was browsing steam and everyone had dragon avatars, we started discussing glitches of some game in steam chat.

Dream 3(fragments):

I was doing some stuff on PC and browsing things then i've got distracted since family started watching a movie on another PC next to me. There was some scene in movie where werewolf and weresnake having conflict about something and start fighting.

Dream 4(fragments):

I was trying to nap, but alot of people were distracting me and trying really hard to wake me up.

Dream 1(fragments):

I was going through some locations and apparently i broke some kind of law of that place and everyone was thinking i am crazy or something.

Dream 2:

I was playing some RPG game and then was looking through scripts, by looking at code i've noticed that one of options summoned stealth enemies and was causing dialogue variations in the next scene.
Then upon entering next area game turned into some kind of Serious Sam/Doom mix. Next area was mostly using brown brick textures and was kinda huge maze, there were lots of enemies both from doom and serious sam and then there was an arena with boss at the end which was like hybrid of cyberdemon and red mechanoid.
Then i've decided to test out coop on same level with SilentEternity and map was going completely different way around the arena and through more mazes, where we have found keycards. On the way groups of enemies were spawning.
Then we have started next level and our spawns were separate. I've started in grey area with lots of pillars and fought mostly imps and pinkys, but then there were also scientist zombies in closets, randomly opening. Then i've found a wall of buttons and pressed some of them, which caused PC to glitch out. Apparently my PC was also made of various doom textures and it kept freezing. I was trying to fix it.

Recalled a lot of frags last night.

I was at the grocery store with my mom. We were buying food for some event at my taekwondo studio. I recommended that we buy 20 packages of spaghetti. (A lot) But she said that would be too much. I had to remind her about the children class at the studio that has like 50 students.

I was outside the grocery store (same dream probably, but I can't remember how I got out here.) Still with my mom, and we were discussing how we were going to carry the groceries home. Apparently we didn't have a car. Another detail I recall was the sky was very weird, it looked like the sun was rising and setting at the same time.

I was actually at my taekwondo studio and the master was having us do this weird new thing with our kicks that was supposed to help us stretch out. When I started doing it, I was pretty bad, but I looked even worse because I was too far into the corner of the studio and didn't have requited room to move around.
After we were done doing 15 of the kicks (all of us) even though mine were pretty sloppy, he dismissed class and let us go.

I was in my math class. We were getting our tests back, and they were pass/fail. I looked at my test and (I kid you not) the number 99.99% was written on the top. Apparently I had dropped a negative sign somewhere on the test. I looked through it and found the circled problem. And when I looked at it, there WAS a negative sign next to the number, be it small and difficult to see.
A called my teacher to show her that she had graded it wrong, but she said that I had written the negative sign too high up, and she couldn't count it.
I started looking through my backpack for a pencil to change the answer. As I did, the classroom morphed into the backstage of a play setting, with people in costumes going on/off stage and people moving props and stuff. But I was still focused on finding a pencil. I never did find one but what I found was much more interesting.
I found a number of drawings, many of them of dream related things. One of them was of two of "me" one of them looked like me from real life. The other of myself when I see myself in dreams. Another was of Manei, my own dream guide sitting in a meditative position.
I actually became mildly lucid after seeing that drawing.
The third and final drawing that I remember seeing was of... I never told anyone about my recurring "Symbol" dream, but that will be discussed later.

Or maybe I'll completely forget to talk about the symbol dream.

And that brings me to the title of this entry. I have had really bad recall and haven't had a lucid dream in at-least two months. But last night I had recall for the second night in a row. It seems like good launchpad to start breaking down these mental barriers.
And that's because I think I finally figured out why lucid dreaming got so difficult. It's all in my head. It only got more difficult because I thought it was going to get more difficult, and It can get easier, too. I know how easy some of my lucid dreams came, and it's not a difficult concept to grasp. So I am starting a project called "breaking mental barriers" to try and reset myself to the mindset that lucid dreaming is easy. This next week, I'm going to act like a newbie lucid dreamer, and go back to the basics of DILD and the likes, with hopes that I can start lucid dreaming again.

Original entry dated Feb. 16, 2002:

I had a nightmare that I had a daughter. I don't remember much about it except that it was quite bizarre and I was very unhappy about many things that occurred in the dream.

I had a nightmare about a huge war in a desert, and a lot of people died, but I think that's more along the lines of the typical "post-apocalyptic" dream if not for one of the characters in it. I was 12 when I had it but the girl I met was so compelling that I still remember the dream. She was dressed in blue and had long, straight brown hair and dark, intense eyes. She was in her teens in the dream, but had an oval, almost classic face that was too sad for someone so young. She saved my life. In the dream, there were spaceship like planes that were black and flew very low, and tanklike things that transported weapons. I was almost crushed by one but she threw me out of the way. I can only assume that she died, but the whole scene was enveloped by the dust kicked up by tank-treads.

I had another dream about a bunch of people testing a plane. It looked kind of like a flat triangle. Like a stealth-bomber, but not quite, there was something decidedly different about it. In any case, the test backfired and the plane crashed and burned. Luckily, the pilot didn't die. I can't remember if he was badly injured or not.

This was followed by another, very long and vivid dream, which I'm going to try to actually do justice:

A tree towers to dizzying heights, wreathed in clouds. It is held up by a pillar of massive, mossy trunk. Through the tangled roots springs a city, its buildings sprouting like mushrooms between the toes of a giant. Grey and fading, the tree and city are cloaked by dusk. The strange slant of the sunlight causes the shadows to pool in strange places.

A man walks down the street, turning a corner, only to find himself amidst steaming tropical vegetation, a savage jungle. He panics, running blindly, and stares up into a dazzling sky to see something rushing toward him. That was how a nameless man was splattered in the middle of an intersection. The only person who took the time to observe this event was a small girl.

After pausing to observe this event, the girl continued on her way through the twisting streets. The residents of the city streamed about her in a phantasmal flow of ghosts, fantastic, colorful, distorted, and exaggerated.

Her eyes lit momentarily on a shadowy figure, and quickly jerked away. She drew into the phantom crowd, which closed around her in a flutter of harlequin rags, and she was relieved to see the figure encompassed by the swirl of paraders.

She withdrew from the stream of grotesques and picked her way along rambling streets, tiptoeing across melted bricks. She turned to find the shadow, floating languidly above the flowing pavement. It regarded her cooly with bulbous glowing orbs set into a body that seemed to have no substance at all, except for a blurred grey outline. Ghostly animals slunk behind the wilted trashcans, chittering softly from the half-shadows.

I've broken up some of these dream entries so I can tag them properly. With only 10 tags, it can be a little hard.