non-lucid

This was a dream that was only a hair’s breadth from being lucid – one of the dreams where I can’t be entirely sure that the only reason I didn’t realize it was a dream was that I was taking it for granted that it was one the whole time.

I start out standing on a grassy hill outside a very large house at night. A man is nearby – another dreamer. Together, we fly up and then over towards the house. I have to help him part of the way because he can’t get high enough, but we make it onto the roof and go inside.

I can’t remember much of the journey, which seemed somewhat reminiscent of a video game, and after a while, we reach a room with a bunch of other people. They're all dreamers, too. They’re chatting, messing around, having fun, but I have something more serious on my mind. First, though, I ask a woman to heal me, since I was injured by a monster on the way. (It isn't actually painful, still in line with video game logic.) I joke that I never got the hang of healing magic myself, but don’t mention I have a reason for not wanting to use too much of my energy right now. I go past them, up through a door in the ceiling.

Once again, I'm standing on the roof. It’s night out here too, but otherwise, it looks like a completely different place than the one I entered from. Almost close enough to touch is a tornado. It’s completely still though: it looks like it was sculpted out of some steely metal, frozen in place. I did this at some point in the past, freezing it in time, but it won’t be long now until it starts to unfreeze. I gauge its strength and determine that I won’t have trouble taking care of it before it unfreezes. But there’s another problem: the effect is already wearing off with some of the monsters around here, and I probably can’t take care of everything at once. I may have to get some of the others down below up here to fight them – but I don’t like that idea. They’d probably be happy to, but they’re relatively inexperienced, and I don’t want to get them into a potentially dangerous situation.

I start by taking out some of the smaller enemies with lightening – things like little wild pigs running around. Then I see that another monster is watching me – an enormous cyclops goat monster. I have the impression that he’s sad, like he’s taking it personally that he’s been unfrozen all this time and I haven’t even noticed.

This is maybe weird enough to wake me up.

20.5.21

Ghost dream
There is something involving ghosts happening. I feel an intense fear at some point. Towards the end of the dream one of my cats, Dori, apparently tells me about how she just thought ghosts approached her and it seems she is traumatized.

---

- There is also a memory associated that is likely to be related to another dream. There is a bunch of dreams that I keep remembering from months to many years ago, usually with recurring places. Maybe I should just document those as well under unknown date?
Well, the memory is that of a dark corridor. I might have been exploring some sort of cellar of a school or something, and there is an intense and totally unnaturally sinister feeling associated with it. I've explored this across many dreams multiple times, and it's always been associated with a strong curiosity but a deep sinister feeling breaking my courage and me stopping my attempt and getting out of the strange, windy, and tight cellar at the last moment before something would've caught me, and always shutting an extremely thick, heavy steel door with a sort of airtight turning mechanism. But honestly, I can't say I don't like these dreams. Nightmares are more interesting than anything for me, there's always something interesting going on, and it's rare something actually scares me in any way I wouldn't want.

Talking to my mother
I was talking to my mother, possibly about a vacuum cleaner.

Ghost leviathans: the return
My father is watching a video about Subnautica on the living room TV. Once it ends, he clicks on a second video, and the title alarms me to the fact that it might be about ghost leviathans. He starts by flying from the sky down to the water, like with the freecam command. Then he's playing normally and swimming at the top with a seaglide. Then he swims down and I repeatedly tell my father to pause since I with my thallassophobia don't quite enjoy it. He pauses it in the last second before a ghost leviathan would've appeared.

Buying dogs
I am in a supermarket with my mother, and we see a basket of pugs being sold. We decide to buy them. Then we are at home, which is apparently a farm, built in a weird area right in the middle of the border of 4 or more biomes. There also seem to be some strange temporal and general anomalies in reality. Then I am going to sleep, and on my way, I see that two of the pugs have lied down together on my mother's legs, and I wonder if that can even be comfortable. It also seems we just recently moved, since I felt a bit uncomfortable sleeping there.

The next day, I see an old woman sitting on a clearly very old and abandoned swing, on a moderately large, totally overgrown field of grass. There might have also been a seesaw made of solid wood, which has by now totally rotten. I don't know what happened in between, but now she's awake. She tells me she's supposed to have been in a coma for 20 years, and that I apparently woke her up 10 years too early. I tell her that I'll put her back in a coma and that it will feel like only 5 seconds have passed, and so I do that.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At some house, staying with dharma brothers and sisters and my teacher is there too. Can't recall details, but we've been teasing each other, while we sit at opposite couches with different posses. The house starts shaking and chaos ensues, with people jumping over the couches, not knowing where to run to. Some say it is and earthquake, others say it isn't. I go to the nearest window and I see a pit forming around the house and it is full of liquid chocolate on which the house starts to sink. I warn everybody and jump over the pit to safer ground. Then offer help to others. But some don jump and instead pass me trays of chocolate cookies and cakes through the window.
Then I am alone with a big guy that I was nice to and he is getting too close for comfort. He looks like a big viking with orange beard, but I have to push him away. He gets mad and demands to know why I don't love him back. I say I could love him if I actually knew him and if he changed his behavior. I buy some time until there are others around, who also escaped the sinking house. They come with paintings, namely portraits of me as a goddess or Wonder Woman.
I look gorgeous on the paintings and look at myself for comparison, I suppose. I notice my hair is dark black on the half bottom but has a light brown shade on the top half and I don't like it. So I do some coloring on the top to even out the color, but somehow I end up bleaching most of my hair. At first look, I panic, but then realize I don't look bad blonde. I also have pretty black and pink highlights in the bottom of the hair and it actually looks amazing.

Join some event with hundreds of people in an auditorium. My Sensei is on stage talking and then he gets emotional and starts singing a song. He sucks at it, so I accidentally giggle and he is very offended. Says he is doing his best and if there are those who do better, to please come and bless us with their voice. Then he calls me and tells everybody that I am so good that maybe I'll be discovered by someone from the music industry today. Except he knows I hate crowds and singing in front of audiences and surprises. People applaud to incentivize me and I say absolutely no and refuse to go. He comes down the stage and sits really close, on the row in front of me. Someone to my right says we don't need to stay angry at each other and suggests we apologize, but he grunts, so I get up and leave. Outside, I am thinking I can't have my ASD diagnostic soon enough. Maybe then people will understand and be a little more respectful of how hard it is for me to be exposed like that in front of hundreds of people.
Then a car passes by on the road, an old model with a big rear. The owners tied, what I assume is their dog, to the windshield wipers and are driving with him standing outside on top of the trunk. The dog seems to be enjoying, but there is a huge risk he slips and gets hang on his leash. They stop at some traffic lights and some courageous guy comes running and unties the dog. The couple inside the car starts complaining and shouts threats, but they keep driving away. We find it odd. I tell the guy they probably will come back, so I stay by his side to support him. But they don't come and instead send a drone with inbuilt communication device. It says please to tie the dog to the drone and return it. I grab the drone and yell to the mic that they have to come and get it or else fuck off. So they obviously don't care about the dog and I tell the guy to keep it. Then the guy also talks to the drone and I notice he is holding the leash, but there is no dog at the end of it. I warn him and we freak out looking for the dog. Turns out he was sitting quietly behind us and allowed me to put the leash on him again, but he had been chewing on it and that's how it broke off.

I had a dream based on a story I had watched about this french creep guy who runs a model agency and abuses young modes. I dream I am also working for some modelling agency and the boss sexually harassed me. So I go confront him at some shop where he is supposed to be with his wife and two adult twin daughters, but he is not there. I still deliver my message to the wife and daughters. They mock me. They say my career is ruined and anyway they already received the money I owed them for quitting. I am confused, I swear I did not pay anything and I will actually demand a compensation in court. They keep laughing. A male secretary of theirs explains to me they already received a transfer from my parents after they were told I was quitting the program. I am pissed. They then taunt me that I am throwing away international fame and riches because of nothing. I say I prefer keeping my self respect and dignity and be happy than a sell-out zombie raped by that sleaze bag for any money in the world and also that there are many ways to make money in life. They are getting upset with me and stop laughing and just want me to go away. Eventually I do, I see I am not going to open up their eyes to how pathetic they are.
I cross the road, there are trams going both ways and lots of people on the crosswalk. I see the river down the street ahead. I am supposed to go to the street on the right, but I lots of people going straight ahead in a party mode, so I follow them. Then I also come across people showing indignation and complaining about some bullfighting. By the river, I see a fence around and area with sand on the ground, clearly an improvised arena. Outside is a small stable with about 6 young male calves lined up and some people are cheering and celebrating while others are naturally mourning the faith of the young ones and petting them. I get closer to also pet them and to say prayers for them. Then I spot a female calve on the side, looking very weak and being totally ignored. I guess she is there by mistake and no one seems to care about her. I get closer and she comes to me to cuddle up and lick me. I hug her and immediately decide I need to get out of there and take her with me somehow.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Driving a friend to the airport. At the beginning of the road entering the airport, I spot my former odious boss with a bag on his hand, like waiting for a ride or something. He turns his head away and I do to. Some airport employees arrive on a car and get in front of my way, so I have to stop as they block my passage. They come ask him if he requires transportation to the airport and he says yes. Then some other person comes by and says they also need it. Then they ask me if I need something and where we are going. I say we're flying to Seychelles and we don't need anything, just keep driving to the airport. I am not really going to travel, but just wanted to piss off my ex-boss, who looks tired.
They leave and I can go on. A bit ahead on the road, I need to exit to my right, but suddenly there is lots of traffic blocking my exit and on top of that, my right side mirror is not adjusted correctly and I can't see the cars to my right. I complain to my friend who is on the co-pilot seat but she doesn't correct it. I take a chance and accelerate, to try to cut in front of a car I suppose is there. But I am blocked by a car in front of me who doesn't let me accelerate enough to do it. So at the last second I see I am going to hit the car on the right and I get back to my lane hitting the car in front. That makes spin in the middle of the road with traffic everywhere. For a few seconds I don't even remember pushing the breaks. I am just panicking at the thought that we are going to die for a stupid bad decision. But finally I do push the breaks and the car halts and there are no more damages. I feel so lucky. Another car stops, some nice guy who immediately checks if we are ok and even starts checking the car and fixing what he can. I go check on the driver whose car I hit and I apologize. She only has a little scratch on the back of the car, really nothing, but she is upset and doesn't say a word. Then my friend says "oh well, no more travel for me" and I say "no way, we can call a cab to take you the rest of the way", but she doesn't seem all that interested.

18th May 2021

Fragment:

Contextually I'm in some kind of alternate reality. In a basement or garage of some kind? But there's a feeling it's older. The ceiling is concrete and orderly and only slightly taller than I am. The ground is uneven and natural in some sense. It's dark. My dog is here with me at some point, but I'm distracted by something else?

I was previously outside. A red-ish place, sandstone like. Reminds me now of stereotypical Mars depictions. It's sandy and the sky is a desaturated colour. I remember several interactions with dream characters, but only so vaguely. A man? Something about not belonging here perhaps.

Notes:

- I remember that last night I tried to think about several things relating to dreaming. I tried thinking about the lucid dreaming party that I never managed to successfully incubate, I thought about Occipitalred's thoughts on dream awareness in a traditional "non-lucid" state. I remember thinking about lucidity in general but I eventually became mentally distracted, lost focus, falling asleep at some point.

- Something about the outdoors place reminds me of Tomb Raider III level design, but only in very vague semblance.

17th May 2021

Fragment:

In a square or plaza, a place like L? Some kind of family gathering, we're right in the middle of the place. Some fuss is made about something (probably trivial) and L is there and maybe my cousin T. A throw is about to be put over the ground but as it is pulled out of whatever it was in, a pink skin-toned adult toy is dragged out along too. The toy bounces around unrealistically, somewhat out of control and taking a while to stop, with nobody being able to catch it. Even though it's not mine, I feel embarrassment over this since we're in such a public space. I feel this way because there are bystanders and I'm afraid of being judged by association?

Later, I'm with my sibling T in a lava area. It's implied to be UT2k4 and we can do the dodge moves like in the game. We need them too, so we can cross a lava gap as we travel through the inside of a hollowed out tree trunk, which is all carbonised. I think to myself about it being lucky that the person who made the level didn't know how to do terrain properly, because it meant that there were very flat bits, making it easy to get across safely. I remember noticing and briefly inspecting the terrain tessellation.

Notes:

- I'd recently been making a level on UT2k4's editor but I stopped working on it kind of abruptly even though I didn't consciously want to. I seemed to have stopped after remembering and feeling sad that nobody will ever play my maps, since the game is mostly dead and obscure now.
-- In that map, I finally learned how to do terrain, which is a large feature for the map.

- The lava place was atmospherically volcanic, but I don't recall any smells or ambience sounds.

- Thinking about the fact that I was only with T in the second part... We used to do a lot of things together and in the dream, I think as a person it seemed like he was more like when we were younger.

- My family never shares anything about our sex lives or anything relating to that part of life. I have always felt there's an awkward silence to all of it. The spontaneous, silly and uncontrolled situation with the toy in the dream, I think it reflects part of this.
-- On the other hand, on the few occasions I've spoken to my parents about such things I ended up feeling embarrassment, probably because it was never normalised as a topic of conversation.

I'm with a group of about 4 people in my age. We walk over a glacier to a house. We enter the house and close the door. The door has a window on it and a curtain covering it. We see a shadow outside of someone who is patrolling. I don't want to look because then the person might see me. A girl in our squad goes to the window and looks out and sees the man. We are talking about our plan and how we should proceed. Everyone have a laser pointer each but it's only purpose is to log out. I use it and try it out but nothing happens. We enter the next room and it has a lot of windows with white transparent curtains with painted flowers on them. There are a lot of guards walking outside and I tell the others that I am going to log out. I use the laser and I'm able to leave (I am teleported to a new location and walking the street with a woman about 40 years old). She blames me for leaving the girl behind in the quest before. There are lots of emotions and one of us is lying on the street and cries (new fragment). I'm looking in third person view and there are a lot of chairs. There are two prominent people there. A thin woman and a very fat man. There are many other people who are supporting the fat man behind him. The woman and the man are not good friends but they are married. The woman have blonde hair and a child next to her with blue long hair. The fat man confronts her and asks how the boy got blue hair. She says that she doesn't know. He asks if she has any butlers at home and the child says that there are a bunch of them. A butler with blue hair comes behind them and the fat man says that the child and the butler are very similar. She seems surprised and says that they indeed do. The man says that she cheated on him with the butler and the child is crying in the woman's knee (new place). My vision is in a big old house with wooden furniture. The fat man is lying in his bed and his mom, a small elderly woman with grey hair, is walking around the bed and screams on him. She tells him that he is worthless and that he made his wife cheat on him because he is so ugly and only read books all the day. The mom throws a glass clock on his face and it shatters. I think that the woman should be more careful with her son (new scene. I am now the divorced woman walking outside). I'm devestaded and walking out from the house. I take my hands around my throat and try to strangle myself. I become semi lucid and try to trigger a FA in my bedroom by closing my eyes and keep on strangling myself. I wake up in my bed and know it's a dream. I try to get up from my bed but I lose my balance. My vision is really limited and I try to stabilize the dream. I am able to walk to the window. I take my hands and cover my eyes. I see through my hands which raises my lucidity. I open the window and fly out. I have amazing speed and accidentaly crash into a window and keep on crashing through all the different flats. I see the room from an old nightmare which scares me and I lose some lucidity. I accidentaly crash through the appartement house's wall and steer to the left. I fly back to my house and see a couple sitting on a stone bench talking to each other. I feel strong because I just flew really good. I try to lift the girl but I am actually really weak and can't lift her. Suddenly a giant runs past us. He holds in a big tree club but is dressed in a modern American school uniform with a senior jacket that has a big white capital letter on the chest.

Notes: The nightmare came from this dream. The house I crashed into was the same in both dreams. https://www.dreamviews.com/blogs/jak...-ladies-91402/.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


At some team building event. I am with Zilla and I also see other familiar faces from high school, like Filipa, who tells us that Claudia died some time ago. There is also by Bad Wolf, my pre-teen sweetheart, who ended up hating me. But he seems cool about me now. We do our team building exercises and the ice breaks between us. I actually think he is into me and I wonder if maybe the universe is offering us a chance to have the relationship we never had in the past. He looks youthful, keeping is highscool looks and he is now divorced or something. And apparently I am free too. So we become good friends and plan to go on a date.
Now I realize we are all on a ship, looks like he a fisher boat. One night I get up amidst a chaos, the boat is in a storm, there is water and debris everywhere and Bad Wolf is looking for me, concerned. He meets me on the deck and says it's not safe, a giant whale is attacking us. Then I see a giant flipper hiting us and I fall into the water, losing consciousness. I am in and out of my senses as I sink into the water and at some point I notice someone swimming nearby and pulling me into some other ship wreck below us. We can't go up, as the whale is still hiting and now some orcas have joined in attacking survirvors. Luckily, the sunken ship is almost intact and is turned upside down which created a giant air pocket inside it, so we can actually breathe and walk through a big part of the ship. Zilla managed to join us and we discover a pantry and it's packed with food. I know the air won't last long and we will eventually have to go to the surface again.

I just woke up in the night and visualize a landscape. I'm in the landscape I visualized (I can't remember how sudden I got into the landscape) and talk to a girl in a chair. We are doing the homework together. Three guys start to pick on us and push the girl down to the ground. I'm not defending her at first but later on I hit one of them. They become angry and easily win over me. After a while they start to pretend to lose and jump back when I hit them as if I was really strong. They run away and I walk to the next room. There is a crocodile in a water pit and I look down on it. It starts to climb to me and I have a big wooden staff to defend myself with. I try to poke it away but my arms won't do as I tell them to. I try to run away but I can't. The crocodile eats me. After some time I walk to the next room. I sit on a chair and look at a person in front of me. I have the power to change his looks and move his eyes apart. He looks pretty weird now. He starts to look like a new person.

I just woke up in the night and think about the last night were my visualization worked. I visualize a car from the driver perspective, seeing the feet of the driver pushing the gas. I'm in the dream and I'm sitting in the front seat next to the driver to the left. It's my cousin C. First off she's driving in 70 km/h but raises to over 140 km/h. It's going really fast and there is a bump which makes it so that I fly to the sky and fall down really fast (semi lucid here). The car crashes and I land next to the car. C and I run up a hill to the forest. There is another car driving and we jump into the front seat as her mother drives.

Notes: The day before I thought about how a dream would not be able to adjust the speed to the speedometer but it felt really real in that dream. We slept in their house that night.

Bizarre but nice adventure-like dream
It starts out on the view of a sort of maze-like structure. It appears to be floating in a pitch-black, destructive void, and only anything within the maze is safe. The colors within are weird, it's like everything you can see is just something like digital edge detection, where only some edges are white or dimly colored, and everything else is just pitch black. The geometry is also unstable, and it appears that sometimes, if you walk into a wall, you just go through it and disappear into the void, so you have to try to just stay on the paths. At some point, I appear to be on a wall, and it's paper-thin, yet unbreakably hard.

Then I am at a door within the maze, and it's the only part where there is any normal color and geometry. It's blue and decorated with what appears to be runes or some sort of other symbols. It's like the door in Snowdin from Undertale, where one can fight Glyde.

Then I am there with a friend, and it appears we can find treastures behind it, but there is some danger associated with it. We have a sort of key and as we approach it, a sort of cutscene plays where it just swings open, with only blackness shown behind it. Then we're behind it, and it looks like Waterfall from Undertale, but the layout is totally unrelated. We're walking through lots of water in a narrow and rather linear tunnel, with the colors being the usual from Waterfall: blue-purplish walls, blue water. I'm in a sort of 2D view, and I see that, behind the walls bounding the tunnel, there is only that same void that was outside of the maze. We walk along it, my friend being quite a bit faster than me, and at some point, we find a wooden chest with gold lining and open it.

Out of it seems to jump some type of items, only one of which I really saw, which was a sort of long, white and modern looking gun. I imagine using it, and it appears that this is now related to Terraria, as I think about fighting a Terraria boss with it. I try to pick it up by walking against it, but it only responds by sliding away, so I try to "press a button" (not sure how or what actually happened when I tried it).

I don't know if I managed to pick it up in the end, but my friend alarms me of the fact that we might be chased by something. I get really anxious, and my friend responds the same, so we run away towards the maze as fast as possible, now in a 3D view, with things being sort of translated to a Minecraft-like look, along with how I and my friend look. I find that double-pressing "W" makes me run (and gives me an effect sort of like the Hermes boots from Terraria) and I manage to run faster than my friend.

---

Wow. That was some great recall. The dream also had a strange feeling associated with it, especially in the dim, empty tunnel. It's like it was too silent, and there was just something wrong or missing, which evoked this scared but interesting feeling.

15th May 2021

Fragment:

Whistling but wearing my work mask? Comes out as normal in waking life, kind of weak, since I don't really know how to whistle.

(recalled this after trying to whistle while making food)

16th May 2021

Fragment:

Part of a long dream. I'm entering a flat and need to get something I or someone else left there? There's plenty of furniture and stuff, it feels complete, if a bit dark or dingy; a cool ambient light? I enter a room and there's a bed, not realising that there's someone laying in it.

I reach for whatever I'm here for. An old woman sits up quickly on the right side of the bed, which is for a couple. She starts sort of shouting with some kind of desperation and sadness in her voice, shouting at me things like how she wants to be left alone and how she wants me to leave. I hesitate, not saying anything back, and eventually do leave.

I return at some point later in the dream and essentially the same thing happens, only with slight differences, such as things said.

Vaguely recall being in an outdoor area, I talk to someone who's close to me. We talk about the old woman. There's a full car park? I remember taller than average vehicles, maybe like caravans more than lorries.

At another point I am in the stairwell of my old home. Something feels distorted but it seems about right otherwise. It's bright, but from the lights, not sunlight. There's something about a neighbour, something about food? Indirect interaction.

Fragment:

I'm messaging MoonageDaydream here on the DV forums, telling her something from when I was about 15 or so?

---

Notes:

- At a first guess, the old woman is a direct representation of a certain aspect of myself that feels exactly as she did. Her emotions felt clear in the dream, though my dreaming self as a character did not react so much that I can recall.
-- The old woman's hairstyle was somewhat like my paternal grandmother, but I do not recall who her face might have resembled.

- Whistling is something I've tried to do for many years, everyone in my family can whistle and has done so since I was a kid but I only learned to do it a little bit very recently, the last three or four years.
-- Incidentally, when is it not very recently? Five years, six, seven?

- I had no recall at all of my surroundings in the whistling fragment, as if my visual focus did not go past my own face, in some way.

- Messaging Moonage probably came from recent interactions, but I don't know what could be particularly relevant to discuss from when I was 15.

Seeing as I cannot maintain a self-imposed schedule for more than a couple days at a time, I have decided to move onto a new format. Because adding the number of days I missed to the day counter takes too long and actually requires me to use my brain (Or a calculator). I will post a new 'log' whenever I feel like, just to make things easier on myself. The dream counter will stay the same however.


Fell asleep at: 2:00 PM

Woke up at: 3:15 PM


Dream 121: Magical Mutant Madhouse

I'm in a place resembling the interior of the Spencer Mansion from RE1 mixed with a cheap Rio Grande Valley home. The lighting is both yellow and white, presumably coming from different sources. The dream is in the first person, and I believe that I'm actually playing Resident Evil 8, and that I can pause the game, save, and load a previous save whenever I can.

I "spawn" in what I believe is the entrance of the house. An L-shaped counter towers over me as I crouch down behind it. A dog is prowling around behind me, and a whole bunch of crazy mutated residents (A la RE7) are wandering around in front of me. I believe that this spawn point is needlessly unfair and try to reload the save numerous times. On one of these attempts I try to sneak around the evil residents when one of them, the mother (Resembling Lady Dimitrescu AKA 'tall vampire lady') spots me. I manage to reload the save before I die.

On my final attempt, I decide to just bum rush my way towards a steel door to the rightmost corner of the room. I accidentally tumble into one of the Lady's daughters (None of the family members resemble the characters from the game, by the way), a college age girl with a black t-shirt and long black hair. As she falls forward, I see that she "melts" into a puddle of gray goo as she hits the ground, and I nearly fall face-first into the puddle. I assume that this is her "power." Behind me, another one of the Lady's daughters uses what I assume to be magic to 'hulk up' as she notices my presence. I pick myself up and keep running whilst crouched as she barrels towards me. I manage to open the steel door and shut it behind me, locking it from my side.

Before I say anything, I spot three more young women behind me, huddled around a steel desk (In fact, everything in these corridors seems to be made of steel). They seem to be talking amongst each other about the other members of their family. I hurriedly sneak past them, further heading into the unlit steel hallways.

I take a left, and as I reach the end of this hallway, a mysterious person grabs and restrains me from behind. They claim that they're going to set the both of us on fire using the two exposed wires in their hand. I struggle and try to turn the sparking wires back on my assailant, while also trying to reload my save (Apparently, in the dream, reloading saves is a manual process, and having both my arms restrained was interfering with the process).

My attacker manages to set my jacket sleeve on fire, which I shove into their face, managing to break free of the grab. I turn the wires back on them, and they are now completely wreathed in flame. I barrel through the door leading outside. I immediately throw my jacket off and lock the door behind me, and only then do I notice I'm on the roof of the building.

It looks like the roof of a school or office, not a house or a castle. The sky is cloudy and pouring rain. I find myself walking up a spiral staircase leading to another roof while being accompanied by two police officers. I explain to them what happened in the house. I get an overpowering sense of dread, as I'm being reminded of Ethan Winters' interactions with the police during RE7.

A while after getting to the roof of yet another building, open another door, and we see that we are inside of a schoolyard. It is here where I see a kid expend purple energy whilst throwing a baseball to another kid. I panic as I think the kid is another one of those psychotic magical mutants, and that he was going to murder the other kid. The other kid catches the ball, though, and continues playing. I ponder this, "Why is this kid not a raging psychopath like the other 'Magic Mutants?' Maybe not ALL of them are evil after all."

I then turn to my right and see an already bulky guy in a tight red shirt and white shorts 'hulk up', and charge towards me. Just great.

I nonchalantly walk into the gym (using the same door we used to get in the schoolyard, for the record) and see another kid use purple energy to throw baseballs.

Then the dream ends.



Spencer Mansion Interior: From the PS1 version because, as I said, the mansion in my dream looked incredibly cheap.


Schoolyard: I swear the courtyard from my dream looked almost exactly like this, although not quite as JPEG-y.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Flood on a village. A stranger picks me up and jumps with me into a well, which strangely is the only dry thing around. We come out on the other side into some fantasy land. He claims it is heaven or paradise and he needs my help with something there. I encounter some ficticious relatives of mine who had been missing because of the floods. They are gathered around a table and feasting. I join their brunch, go crazy on cakes and juice and at some point realize the guy may be the devil and this is some kind of trick. But I wake up.

Been dreaming of a bigger more spectacular version of my house. With hidden rooms in the attic. This time I go to my attic and after closing the entrance door, here is like a smaller room inside it that I can also shut close, and it feels like heaven, a totally isolated space just of my own. Then I start knocking on the wooden ceiling, as I previously encountered hidden doors with technical and electrical panels and I suspect there are more secret compartments I haven't yet discovered. I come across a large trap door that I remove gently and inside is a grid like covering a ventilation shaft. But on the other side is my cat Yéti and I wonder how long my cats have been going to these secret spots and how did he enter this place. I remove the grid and I climb inside. It is a fairly large tunnel that leads to the secret room I had suspected existed. Inside it is like a library / memorabilia shop, full of rare and weird stuff. There are shelves with political and forbidden books but also a whole shelf of altered fairy tale books, like a whole series of a punk-gothic Snow White. There are also weird costumes and incredible posters and pictures on the walls. I try to take photos of it and start getting the usual trouble that image on camera differs from what I see, but I fail to realize that I am dreaming, besides a slight feeling I might be. Then someone enters the attic, intruders looking for me and I don't want them to find my secret room so I go back and shut the entrance and then find some other way from my inner room to the outside world and start being chased by unknown stalkers trough a city. I zig zag through streets trying to distance myself from them and then enter a huge shop which is basically toys and games but is not like toys'r'us, is more towards teenagers and has a cool edgy vibe. Really annoying employees kick me out from a section of the shop and treat me bad because they have a policy of closing down some areas of the shop intermitently and I should know about it. I dwell for a while in the shop admiring some of the toys. I meet Riverstone briefly there too and I show him some toys I used to play wih as a kid, made from sticky rubber. I throw them at his face and they stick for a while and then come tumbling down and feel like jellyfish on your skin. He didn't know these things and feels repulsed, but it brings great memories to me.
Then I leave and keep on trying to lose my stalkers by going through a shady restaurant, hoping to get out through a back door. But it seems they don't have it. I ask for the toilets and they are in the back, a really dark and degraded area of the building and there is a long line of people there. But I can't go back to the restaurant as my stalkers are probably there at the moment trying to spot me. So I wai,t disguised in the crowd of families waiting to pee. When I finally get in, there are a couple windows but very tiny and with iron bars, not fit for a person to climb out. So I leave, but then finally find some door leading to a back alley. It was close shut and hidden behind lots of stuff, but I spot light rays coming from a fringe on the floor and I break it open, so I escape my stalkers.

Morning of May 15, 2021. Saturday.

Dream #: 19,871-02. Optimized 2 minute read.




Note; The waking-life model is red. For the image, I made it the same as the predominant color in my dream (though there were other colors). The additional optional outer wing piece is for a torn wing feature.

My dream begins with me sitting near a river, though the water lowers over time. (This attribute has remained the same for this dream type for over 50 years. One influence is from isolation tank films I saw as a child, though it also naturally corresponds with melatonin mediation and ultradian rhythm.) Typical indoor-outdoor ambiguity (impossible to discern as such in waking life) is predominant at some points, though there is more morphing of the setting than usual. The locational inferences are unknown. I have recall of my real-life identity to the extent of where I recall I have three sons.

I think of creating a portal so that my sons can see a living pterodactyl through it. We do not intend to go through the portal but to watch different events through it.

A somatosensory phase response (a natural, predictable shift to attention on using my hands toward resolving REM atonia) becomes predominant, and there is a spontaneous flight-related association with the Aurora Pterodactyl model kit from the early 1970s. I had one when I was a boy. In this instance, the process curiously mixes with finding gold coins (also somatosensory summoning), but only as a supraliminal influence. (I do not think about panning for gold in my dream, only recovering all the pieces of a plastic pterodactyl model.)

After my sons watch a living pterodactyl through the portal (a precursor to managing the vestibular phasing of dreaming) for a few minutes, I begin finding many different sizes and colors of pieces from various fictitious versions of what is otherwise the same Aurora pterodactyl model kit.

Many parts are smaller than the waking-life kit, but there are no larger versions. I see little cyan plastic wings, but also green, blue, and other colors. There are more outer wing parts than other features. I also notice some small wing connectors; rectangular prisms. I become fascinated by their variety and study their random arrangement for several minutes. However, there is no dream segment where parts of a complete model are collected and assembled.

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Revealing dream content causation:

I continue to be fascinated by how the same processes and phasing responses (often in the same order throughout my sleep cycle) result in so many unique and engaging narratives.

This dream’s narrative is a result of my typical familiar lifelong metacognitive status and its management:

Water induction corresponds with beginning my navigation of REM sleep and is usually the first process depending on my dream’s time.

Vestibular system ambiguity (vestibular cortex phasing response) is from being in REM sleep and links to my metacognitive pursuit of mind-body reconnectivity, often with flight associations. In this instance, however, the phasing curve favors my metacognitive focus on REM atonia (physical immobility in sleep).

As is often the case, my dream focuses on managing the virtual division between dreaming and attaining wakefulness. Here, it results in a “portal” (rather than the more mundane summoning of a door) and the mental and physical duality of dreaming that is absent in real life.

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