non-lucid

Only some small fragments. Didn't make notes on getting up and the DJ wasn't the first priority after getting up.

---

Dream Fragment:

I was helping or teaching a small boy. He was from a village called Fargoth? It was South-East from wherever I was, somewhere in the North of England. I remember seeing it on a map, a mix of an online map and a city-building game map. I remember we looked at maps together too, he talked about Spain for some reason and I remember zooming in on the deserts and seeing farmland.

Dream Fragment:

I was helping a North American general, he wanted to take me and a group to battle somewhere specific. In the dream I had already been in battle at that place before. The general must have been in his fifties but had white hair for the most part. I remember he had a typical US soldier's helmet from decades past, not a modern one.

We went to the place and we were under fire from pretty much all directions. I remember it was dark and atmospheric, the sky was a certain mix of red and black and smoke. The general wanted to go after a certain Zen-Chi and so I lead him up a hill where I knew he was firing from or something. This entire location had small houses and maybe was a small fort or old castle? I remember a little market thing, in ruins.

At the top of this climb, mostly stone steps, there was a wooden shed. There were loads of woodworking tools on the outside, and other sharp implements that had nothing to do with woodworking.

The general wanted to go head in, I stopped him physically. I told him he couldn't, that was exactly how I'd lost a friend to Zen-Chi myself and so I decided we'd taunt him a little first. We shouted at him from outside to try and unsettle him; then we opened the creaky wooden door. It was brighter inside, there were some tungsten bulbs lighting the place. There were physical separations or curtains all over the inside, but before I went in, from the tool rack, I grabbed a long and heavy metal rod that had a perfect point at one end. It was like a cast aluminium javelin, it was odd.

Despite it's length I managed to manoeuvre inside with it. I motioned for the general to stay back and I crouched, seeing under the separators inside the shed. I could see Zen-Chi's feet. I approached slowly and heard him taunt back at us now, I can't remember what he said.

Then, when I was close enough, I struck his foot with the sharp point of the javelin, quickly pulling it back and then I think I got up and opened the barrier, which was a curtain after all, and struck Zen-Chi in the head with the sharp point, then his chest.

In that moment it was somewhat unsettling to strike him on the head, which made me feel as though I'd hesitated, but I wanted to be sure he'd die, hence the second strike on the chest.

---

Notes:
- The hesitation and unsettling feeling of striking someone in the head so brutally like I did against this dream character reflects well how I feel about certain situations in fighting. I feel it's somewhat foul to destroy someone's face and head, not to mention it paints a very gruesome picture in my imagination.

- The plot of that dream was pretty generic, as I have no special reason to have been on either side of the dream's conflict.

- In waking life, H pointed out that Zen-Chi seems like a pretty generic name, which may even not be a name at all, since it's just two oriental words relating to the spiritual and meditative worlds.

- When Zen-Chi was dying, he had an expression of surprise on his face. I'm remembering now that one of the taunts that me or the general shouted at him was that we'd take all his woodworking tools once we were done with him.

- The dream where I was helping the boy was much longer, but because I didn't make any notes and had it very early on in the morning, very few details were retained through sleeping again and having the second dream.

- The red, black and smoke of the second dream reminded me of Stratholme in World of Warcraft. It sort of seemed to imply that the atmosphere itself was practically on fire, but during that dream I remember seeing tracer bullets and shells flying above us, very similar to a tank game I've played recently.

Just one continuous long dream, that I can remember.

---

Dream:

In the earliest part I remember, I was wandering around some city streets. It was dark, but there were street lights, orange/yellow hues. For whatever reason I was about two to three times the normal size and as I turned around a corner I ran into an equally sized character at some sort of dead end. There was a "temporary" concrete wall blocking a street.

Not sure what the character looked like exactly, but was female and some kind of taur. Part woman, part something else, maybe scorpion or sphynx. I used some kind of metal club, like a baseball bat maybe, and attacked her. As we were fighting, I knocked her away with the bat and she got hurled down an adjacent street. Then something with the dream changes and she's gone. I'm normal sized and in the street where she was hurled into was a car, damaged I think.

I got some sort of passing thought about how I was dreaming before, when I was bigger and fighting, but this obvious irony was somehow lost on me during this moment. I approached the car and inside I see a man. The car's inner lights make him quite clear but I don't remember what he looked like exactly. Chiseled, but skinny? He is doing some kind of drug or smoking something. Police and paramedics arrive all of a sudden, but nobody tells me to clear out or move away.

The guy is then dead. I could see him lying back in a weird position, sort of slumped down but contorted between the two front seats of his car. One of the paramedics uses a syringe of some sort, squirting some liquid into the dead guy's nose. It fizzes and bubbles. They conclude from this reaction that he'd used some sort of toxin to kill himself.

Nearby, from about six or so yards away, a man is taking some photos with a camera. I remember the camera had a band that went around his neck. In that moment I think that he's taking some photos for the local news and he catches me on some of the shots, hoping he'll blur my face. I think of speaking to him but end up walking away, not actually too bothered about it.

Then at some point, I realised I didn't have my phone anymore. I couldn't feel it on me and I believe I must have left it in the car from before. I realised the police will have the car by now and so I go to a street where the police station is located. It's a plain concrete building with several small alcove-like bits. Each of them is effectively an entrance, with a ladder and some sort of shutter? Or garage door.

I ring a doorbell thing or buzzer, but an image immediately lights up on a large screen next to the ladder and the buzzer. It looks like a poster but it says on it something like: "We're sorry, we're closed. The police needs rest too." This doesn't bother me, I accept that it makes sense, with only a slight feeling of being annoyed by not having made any progress in finding the phone. I somehow realise that it's 2AM or past that and that they won't be opening for another few hours, at least. I go back to the crime scene with the car hoping to find it there, maybe I'd just left it on the ground.

Indeed, when I get there, I do find the phone on the floor. I remember walking around the streets for quite a while, I'm not sure how it all fits in terms of timeline but details are too vague now. Then there's some kind of transition? The dream shifts somehow anyway. I'm then in a town or city. Rome, I hear someone or myself saying. It's day time now and I'm walking around sort of in circles on these streets, around a central square area.

There are people singing and greeting tourists and foreigners. I join up with some group of tourists? We walk up to this little altar thing in the middle of the square. The buildings I can remember around us are short, some might even be ruins. We are at a high point, there are no hills or taller buildings in sight. This altar thing is considered to be a mosque? But it looks more like a right-angled dried up fountain of some sort. I sit there with the group of tourists. I relax for a moment and look around.

Then randomly, these two black teens walk up to me and throw or spray some green paint at me. I get up and show some sort of indignation at what they did but then end up just ignoring them since I knew they just wanted to provoke. They leave with cheeky smiles on their faces, I feel some sense of amusement myself? Then a man in the group, an older black guy, engages in conversation with me about what just happened. We agree on how people do these provocative things and we talk about something else; meanwhile the dream starts to change around us and sort of becomes like a fancy bar or lodge hall. It's not day time anymore, I remember lights being on in this building.

At this point my memory of the rest of the dream is very vague since I couldn't manage to make notes of it. I remember being in my parents old room and then something about mom being in bed and giving me and this older guy advice? Some sort of construction modules. I remember words labeled on them. "Industrial (?)", "Research (?)" and other similar things.

---

No notes for now.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
17/2/2020
Went to bed at 3AM.
got out of bed at 11:30AM
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dream 1:
I was outside right in front of mr playfairs house and it was summertime. His home home had a whole new exterior. I looked in the front window to see mrs playfair and another old fellow I didnt recognize. I looked around a bit and saw mr playfair outside near his garage. I told him it was a nice new extension and he told me it was a theater, he could show me too. I obliged and we went inside. It didnt look very new and modern from inside. We went downstairs and he brought me to a room which looked like someones room, not a theater. There was this little man, literally. He was like a few feet tall. He was watching TV as I entered but he had a blanket over his face, I thought he was embarrassed. He got up, turned around and looked at the floor. He didnt look at me, I awkwardly tried to wave to him to say hi because I was going into his room after all. It was a bit messy with clothes strewn about on the floor.

Yesterday the same as usual lately, wasn't able to make notes in the morning and then forgot too much. Managed to make some notes this morning.

---

Dream:

World of Warcraft dream. I was a dwarf paladin and I remember being teleported to the Scarlet Monastery. I was next to the instance entrance doors and from there I went across the halls, down to the stairs at the other end. I don't remember seeing any scarlet troops.

I had a two-handed weapon, and directly to my right after coming down from the stairs was the meeting stone (which I think isn't the correct location for it). Across the way, where the meeting stone should probably be was an orc hunter, around level 90, sitting. I don't remember seeing or knowing what my own level was.

I walked for a bit but then decided to get on a mount. In the dream, I remembered or realised I had just bought the 100% riding skill, and then summoned a worg-looking mount. The worg looked thin and sort of rough, which seemed a bit odd, but I didn't really care at the time.

Starting to ride away, I could see with my camera rotated that the orc was getting up and then he started using his auto-shot attack. He didn't use any special abilities but each of the arrows was hitting for about 900 damage, which seemed to be about 10% of my health each time. I took about three shots in total, managing to ride away far enough but the last shot had hit me from what I thought was an unreasonable distance in the game, over 90 or so yards.

I rode the worg through the plagued and sombre woods of Tirisfal and toward the Western Plaguelands. I remember the atmosphere clearly, with its slightly dead blue-green tinge. I remember seeing something in the sky, but not sure if it was the moon or the sun. As I rode the mount through the woods, I went past a ruined human or scarlet tower, but I didn't see any enemies or creatures anywhere.

When I got to the area of Tirisfal that is closest to the Western Plaguelands, it was more like a volcanic area, more like something I'd expect from Cataclysm than a classic area. At first this bit was sandy with shrubs here and there, somewhat desert-like, but there were burnt trees and courses of lava. I remember it was day time but as I went further into this zone it got darker. It felt like it had been an extremely long ride from Tirisfal and I can't recall all the details of the journey. I do remember a number of different passing thoughts, mostly about potentially being attacked, but very vaguely.

Going along a road in this zone, I headed towards some tunnel I saw before on my map interface. To the north of the tunnel entrance was a ruined building. It looked like an Alliance fort or barracks, but it was supposed to be a hospital in the dream? Someone, I can't remember who, suggested I go there, but I said I'd already been there or something.

As I entered the tunnel, which had a car-tunnel feel to it, I noticed another player riding their mount come up behind me. I think it was an undead but he didn't seem hostile and he had this orange hat that I remember from early quests in TBC. He had a strange blue mount that I can't really remember very well. I checked my character panel and it said my mount speed was 140% with all my bonuses, but this guy still managed to slightly faster, probably at about 160%. He overtook me and eventually I lost sight of him.

On the other side of the tunnel I explored a little rock island surrounded by lava courses and I heard the distinct sound of a character in stealth nearby. I dismounted and tried to find the player; it was a tauren druid prowling in cat form. I attacked and used kidney shot, a rogue ability; and before the stun ended, I used a cat form ability too and used a different stun, not really giving the druid a chance to fight back. He took a ton of damage, or what felt like it but eventually died. Oddly enough, the form effect should have ended for him at that point, but didn't, so the corpse looked like the cat form and not the tauren form. I realised while attacking that he was level 137 or something, which then made me realise I was 19 levels below that, and that was why it took so long to kill him.

Other stuff happened, not sure what. I think I used some other druid forms but the next thing I remember I'm at my old home, as "myself", in the downstairs part. Mom and other people are there, but I'm not sure who. There was this man with no top on, a dream character and I think he was injured? This part of the dream went on for a while but I've forgotten most of the details.

Dream Fragment:

Something about power going off, but in a weird way, where only a few things went off. I think I was in the kitchen?

---

Notes:
- In the dream, my character level didn’t seem to be well defined but the mixed usage of abilities could have been a clear dream sign, as well as the dream-created volcanic landscapes.

- Like with my other dreams that involve old known locations, this was also one of those dreams where the dream mind is starting to take more liberties with how the places look. This is interesting because recently I was thinking that the reason those old places were being so altered in dreams was a result of not visiting them for a long time, but I have played WoW recently enough that this theory doesn’t really seem to make as much sense anymore.

- Plenty of somewhat obvious dream signs in the last few months, but not being obvious enough for me to pick up on them yet I guess. But that and some other general things about dreams through these last few months have been giving me a sense that something is progressing in a positive way.

- The topless and injured man may have simply been a figment brought about by a show I watched for the first time the previous night, but his presence really was completely out of place in that dream, there was nothing else to tie the two contexts together.

- I’m remembering now that in that part of the dream it was a bright morning daytime, though only a small bit of it came through into the living room, where I was.

- The WoW dream was typical for a game dream, I didn’t have the sense of sitting at a desk or anything, just completely existing in the game, even despite the use of third person camera. In a way this is not too different from how I feel when playing games I’m immersed in anyway; usually it just feels like an extension of self, more than anything else. But it does make me feel that I’m almost too used to the sense of altered reality, which is maybe why I normally don’t pick up on dream signs that when I’m awake I consider to be pretty obvious.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
15/2/2020
Went to bed at 4:30AM.
got out of bed at 1:30.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dream 1:
I was at the climbing gym with my friend tim. I started up a climb thinking I was toproping. I got past the first carabiner and near the second when I looked down and he was on the wall too! He was confident and he told me he was going to belay from the wall. We were clipped into the lead carabiners now instead of toproping. He told me all you need to do is stand on the end of the rope on a couple holds and then you can belay from there. He got the the height of the first carabiner and did so. I climbed up, reached the top and met him back there. I took the role of belay and I decided to go on the other side of him where the wall was more horizontal and easier to stand on. Suddenly there was a huge gap between where we were and the wall we were climbing, and we were now clipped in on toprope. He swung like a clipped in tarzan to the other wall to get to it. A staff member came over to tell him something so I got closer and it turns out she wasnt there to tell him to not swing, she was just warning him of something and he told he had already thought of it, he was experienced. She was even slightly embarrassed or apologetic in her body language after he told her

recall was terrible as usual this week.

Jamie 1

Just a flash of Jamie crying really hard. Like face in hands. Been there... The night before she left, ouch. Hope my dreams aren't too psychic about this and hope she's okay. I also hope I didn't cause that somehow...

Jamie 2

Can't remember what happened just that her presence was there.

Road

I just remember being lost on a road, I hitched a ride from a lady driving a bus. I said we had to pick up my backpack or something, and suddenly we were in a city looking for it.


Scary

Dreamed that a manager pulled a gun on me at work when i didn't want to do what he said. I ran out screaming and went to another place from the same franchise. I wanted to get him fired. Why didn't I just call the police.

Netflix commendation: Horse Girl.

If Jamie reads these, keep sending good vibes. I appreciate them.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
15/2/2020
Went to bed at 4:30AM.
got out of bed at 12:45.
I drank last night so I'm surprised I had dreams. I woke up with no recall but then when adjusting my shoulders int eh kitchen I remembered doing pullups with magnus and everything came back from there.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dream 1:
I went to the gym with my friends Evan and Matthew. We put our stuff in a locker without locking it. We worked out for a bit and then I remember training pullups with Magnus Mitdbo. There was suddenly some climbing routes at the gym and I hopped on one to try to get to a super high pullup bar but it was too high it scared me. He climbed the wall on the other side and from the top dropped down onto 2 big protruding volumes and I thought he couldve really hurt himself. Matthew told us to go to the locker room cuz he went and couldnt find our stuff. We went and looked through a bunch of lockers then realized someone just emptied the locker and dropped our shit on the ground. We took our shit and left. I wanted to go climbing so I went to the climbing gym but ended up rollerskating instead because I didnt have enough time. I was doing really tight circles by doing crossovers for a while, I saw naftalia and heaven on the court. Some people were taking wedding photos on the court too. It started getting wet on the court so I stopped.When I got off, I got involved in some crazy kidnapping operation. I had a gun and was about to kidnap this little girl when a military man come off the court. I pointed my gun at him, he was scared then didnt shoot and he went on to shoot the other bad guy. I dropped my gun and started leaving. the military man was still looking for bad guys and there was this dude coming at me. He saw the military man and he really was innocent so he decided to run but then he knew how that would look so he ran back towards me. At this point he was a zombie. He got shot and then I got put into a video game-like selection screen where I can choose the color of the zombies eyes. I chose green and then I was placed in a dark building with that 1 zombie and I took his head off.

Not been able to keep recall very well or make notes in the morning for the last few days because of pain issues.

---

Dream Fragment:

I was at some sort of zen gathering, for a dream-imagined relative. She was going to have this ceremony that was supposed to strengthen the bond between her and this baby brother of hers or something.

I remember the area was on a green and grassy rolling hill. It had a fair bit of an angle on it. There were some small trees, not much bigger than a person and there were some sort of carpets or rugs laid out in a few places.

It was night time? But it was bright, I think from a full moon. I remember looking at the sky and seeing it in the night and then lower to the right I saw a tower. It looked like a Japanese hill castle tower.

There were some people up there on its walls, some kind of avians, like from Starbound.

Next thing I remember, I’m up there and planning a sneak attack with some other people against the avians to take some treasure they had up there.

Transition? Maybe a different dream but it felt to be in sequence and similar context.

I remember L and his childhood friend J. We were walking around a lower area, possibly next to that hill from before. It was night. We came up to some metal grated stone structure. Beyond the metal bars I could see a wooden treasure chest and a tunnel that led into that area.

I looked to the left and saw another similar stone structure, also with metal bars but not all along it’s opening. There were two minotaurs in there and I attacked them but I don’t remember how I dealt with them exactly.

The rest of the details are missing but I vaguely remember being in a 3 seat van with J and L at some point.

Dream Fragment:

I was using my tablet. I was painting, trying to replicate an effect I saw in waking life of a painting that was just in the background of a tv show.

I was trying to paint waves in the water in the same detailed way as that painting. It wasn’t going very well though and even in the dream I realised I was going about it the wrong way.

---

No notes for now, might edit later.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
14/2/2020
Went to bed at 3:45AM.
got out of bed at 12:45.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dream 1:
It was a heavy winter day. I was at my home with my cousin maegan. She had a new BF with her and they were going sledding. They left and I went outside with them through the front window. After they left for the mountain I went back inside through the front window and the house was suddenly flooded. Surprisingly, my parents were very calm. There was at least and inch and a half of water on the main floor. I saw the water coming in through the floorboards. I went upstairs and it was just as flooded. I hung up my sweater in my room and saw my dog lying down in the water. She usually hates the water. She got up and followed me to the bathroom where my parents were. I then went downstairs and it actually wasnt as flooded down there. Some water right where the stairs end but when I checked the storage closet which was even lower, there was no water accumulation there. The basement Tv room was also dry, and my dog was there now also dry.

Fragment:
I wrote a couple tags in a DJ in my dream

I seem to be visiting my parents, who live on an island. I’m busy for most of the day cleaning out a cabinet or wardrobe. In only another hour or so, there are going to be guests over for dinner.

We’re out of the house now for some reason. Mother is concerned that I’ve been exerting myself so much, and I should drink some water. I’m not particularly thirsty but say I will. My father and I go off to a sort of convenience store-like shop nearby to buy a bottle, but the water is very expensive – almost 10 dollars for a water bottle (though I can’t swear it wasn't some other currency). That’s right, I remember – there isn’t any fresh water on the island, so it all has to be shipped here, and that makes it so expensive. My father asks if it’s OK if I don’t get the water, and I say I’m fine with it. Again, I don’t particularly care either way – I just want to keep them happy.

Not long after that, I step onto what unexpectedly turns out to be an elevator – a floating glass elevator, à la Willy Wonka. It rises up and flies partway across the island to a large building, then down several stories into its basement. I briefly see the various underground floors on the way down. I consider getting off and heading back – I don’t want to be late for dinner – but rumor has it that the headquarters of the secret police is on one of those floors, and I have a history with them. Just walking through their headquarters would be asking for trouble.

So I wait as some other people get on the elevator and it continues to the third major hub on the island – it isn’t very large, and so there are only the three. This one is on the other end, farther away – a place I’ve never been before. The elevator flies over lawns dotted with groves of trees. It’s dusk now, and we approach and pass a blue light – some sort of decorative sculpture marking the approach. This whole area is like an estate, or a place that was one at some previous time.

Once we’re there, I get off. There’s a tower there – perhaps I have to climb down the side to get to the ground, but one way or another, I wind up climbing on it. It’s a fairly small building, though tall, made of square, grey stones, each of which has a shape cut through it large enough to make a foothold or handhold – circles, squares, stars, etc. Each stone is also marked with two sets of letters, one a capital letter, the others one or more lowercase ones. As I grab hold of one hollow stone, I feel a switch flip on the inside edge, causing the opening to light up. The whole thing is a giant cipher key, I realize. I don’t have any messages in need of decoding – but if I happen to find any, I now know exactly where to bring them.

I climb around for a bit, playing around with it to make sure I know how it works. But once I’m back on the ground, a woman starts yelling at me for climbing on the tower. Guess I wasn’t supposed to be doing that. I stay calm. What she’s saying doesn’t make much sense – really not a coherent accusation against me at all, just anger. I ask a couple reasonable questions. She answers, still in an angry tone. But then, having lost her momentum, the absurdity of it seems to dawn on her, and she starts laughing. I laugh, too. It seems like everything is OK now.

12.2.20

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
11/2/2020
Went to bed at 2AM.
got out of bed at 12:30.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dream1:
I was going to the bathroom at my cottage up north while there was a party. I had someone in the room with me and I told them to close the 2 doors connecting to the bathroom and they did but the doors stayed open for some reason. There were 2 girls in one of the connected rooms and they were teasing me about how innapropriate it is to poop in front of them. We had a short conversation and then I went downstairs. People were having food int he kitchen so I joined them. I took a few containers of leftovers and was filling my plate. Matthew Westernoff was there

Had a dream where I am in a large marsh wetland in the shape of a square with four smaller squares inside. Taylor Swift is in a sparkling dress skating the perimeter as fast as she can. She finishes in the center of square where a photographer sprints towards her and starts to take photos. It is early dawn and the sky is filled with pink. I am walking away because Taylor Swift isn't my cup of soda. Next I am in my bedroom and I am shuffling Uno cards.

Some fragments. Recall seemed better for the second and third dreams on waking up.

---

Dream Fragment:

I was in the kitchen. It was a bit dark but not night time. Like very early morning just after sun rise, and with the blinds rolled down. I remember standing by the fridge, naked I think? I remember seeing my feet and legs. For some reason, I could hear in my head what I thought at the time to be a theme song for the TV show called Roswell, a show I never watched myself, but I know of it. I don't actually remember what that music sounded like but it seemed familiar in the dream, in a way that makes me think that it had nothing to do with that show, but I'll have to try and find it after writing this DJ.

Wedged between the fridge and the counter it is adjacent to, I remember noticing one of the wooden grave markers H's dad was working on yesterday when we went there. The cross was upside down and it looked like we had just shoved it in there in a hurry to make some room in the kitchen. The fridge is a fridge on top and freezer on the bottom and I remember seeing the logo somewhat distinctly in the dream.

No idea how this dream went on or ended.

Dream Fragment:

I was entering some sort of supermarket, it felt like it was underground. There were quite a few people here, seemed like a popular place. Looked a bit like the cheap supermarket I go to but for whatever reason my old friend from university, R, was walking along with me. We both had a trolley.

I was very confused by the layout, first there were mostly energy drinks and then soft drinks. I think I commented on them being crap but I also felt hungry more than anything else. We continued on and eventually we got to a very odd bit, where I had to watch what other people were doing to understand. There was like a sort of circular checkpoint thing that we had to go into in queues. I grabbed some big and fresh looking pears I spotted to my right, and apparently some bananas too. I knew immediately the pears would be sweet, as I prefer them, and not at all wooden. There were some fake metal barriers to enforce queues.

I got to the centre of this checkpoint thing. There was a woman on a swivel chair? She was wearing a cap but had curled hair tucked into it or something. She was in the middle of this four-section rounded island with shop scanner things on each of the four sections. I remember giving her the fruits or placing them down on the metal/glass surface.

She scanned the fruit somehow and I continued off away from the checkpoint thing.

Dream Fragment:

Some kind of mix of GTA and other games like Deus Ex. I remember being on a completely unknown city and having a map divided into levels, like there used to be in Zelda's dungeons. 1F,2F, etc.

There were some ghoul like enemies at some point and a UDamage pickup, which when I tried getting, some quick imp or rat thing got it and scurried off.

I remember being on some sort of snow bike and using a turbo mode that activated an orange energy saw and killing some of these ghouls. This was an enclosed area, with many narrow paths and with an underground feel to it. At the end of it I found a portal marked by an inverse encircled pentagram, which was a path to hell. I decided to not go through yet but would come back to it when I felt stronger.

Then I was outside and it was night time. Everything was brightly lit. I remember fighting some guys at a bridge over a wide channel of water that looked like it had very strong currents, as it was quite foamy and uneven.

Much earlier in the dream there was an area of sort of open field but I don't really remember any details. Too tired to write much more.

---

Notes:
- I'm not entirely sure what prompted the appearance of both the cross and the pentagram (both inverted) in two separate dreams, but yesterday H's dad was making about twelve of these cross-shaped grave markers. I remember asking if they were consecrated or blessed in any way once they were done. I was told that there's no point, since they are just temporary markers. This might account for the marker's appearance in my dream, as I had some interest in them since he was basically working on them all day and we were there for most of it.

- The third dream was a mix of many, many games, far too many to actually describe in reasonable detail. But the part with the UDamage and the inverted pentagram was most definitely based mostly on: DOOM, Daikatana and Unreal (Tournament). All of these have some themes in common, but the game engines are also all quite similar in some aspects. Hell and unholy motifs such as ghouls are closely related to DOOM of course and they also feature in UT. Some time ago I was working on a cathedral level for UT, but abandoned the project due to its complexity for my current skill level. The level featured an underground hellish portal that would take players to the top of the level.

- The Christian-type symbols probably also made their appearances because last night I spent a fair bit of time speaking to H about how I have often felt, and often still feel, because of my constant pain issues. There is a somewhat subconscious link between pain and some version of hell, for me.

- In the second dream, I seem to remember R was wearing his typical leather jacket. I don't remember seeing his face much in the dream.

- In that same dream, many of the dream characters seemed to be some type or another of friends or acquaintances I used to have. My mom appeared in that dream at some point, near the end, along with some dreamed up ogre-like uncle of some kind.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
11/2/2020
Went to bed at 2:30AM.
got out of bed at 1:30.
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Dream 1:
I was at a strangers home whos entire property looked almost exactly like my cottage, but it was more well maintained and had a few things that were bigger or more than my cottage. The whole place was really beautiful, so many beautifully tended gardens, all the fences were kept in good shape and the nature was well kept. At one point, I went inside somewhere. A young girl was talking to me and gave me a letter to open. It contained her report card and something else. She told me she wanted me to come back monday and we could get intimate. I was very apprehensive, I asked her how old she was and she said 17. I was wondering why she wanted me to come back monday and I guessed it was because no one else would be home. I found out that she didnt want to get intimate with me, she wanted to take my life. There was this horrible blobby red/green monster that would just slowly suck me up and digest me. She wanted to feed me to him. I was going to fight her. I made really hot coffee, had another hot liquid and had the other part of the letter I was going to use to confront her. She busted down the door I was standing in front of and she clearly was out for blood. There may have been blood on her face already. I threw the 2 hot liquids at her and she died. I had won. I later told someone else about the monster and the documents from my dream. This part felt like real life again. I thought about how I stilled had the documents if that was a dream and I had woken up, but it still didnt cause me to go lucid XD

Dream 2:
I was in my room with a couple friends, Evan and Matthew W. The topic of smoking came up with his friend Alon tonight so I showed him my Beginners chip. We talked a bit about our usage of marijuana, and he admitted he needed to stop cold turkey a lot of times. We then decided to go to Alons, but on sleds. My sled had become motorized. We were zooming down Cavendish road, under the bridge and when we got to the other side we were actually driving on the wrong side of the median. The sled was a bit hard to control but speed worked exactly like a car I could put my right foot down on the front right side of the sleigh and I would get speed. We eventually got to Alons and when I looked at my sleigh it was a regular sleigh, no motor or anything and I didnt really think too much about that. I guess it was like a magic sleigh. We all met up at the lobby of his building and some of us went outside to smoke. I stayed inside with a couple others. There was this candy stick that you had to like light like a joint and it would get activated or something. People couldnt get the lighter to work so I tried and it was a cool lighter. There was like a pilot light inside the lighter so that you knew if there was no gas left. I tried lighting the lighter fora bit and couldnt get a flame but then realized heat was coming out either way so I light the candy stick and the candy started melting on it. Ryan tried to smoke it even though I thought it would be really hot. We asked Alon what it was for and he said it was to cool your throat down between hits from a joint.

Dreams that I made note of early today but that I'm only writing on the DJ here at night.

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Dream Fragment:

Much longer than just this bit and a lot of detail is missing. Was with my family at some building, more specifically, with my parents and maybe siblings. We were there because of me, I was waiting to be given permission to use this facility's reactor-powered super-computer.

One of mom's sisters (M) was there . H was there but was a blend between himself and my oldest sibling. I remember we were waiting in some sort of lobby. It was sunny, there was a lot of glass. It was a fairly modern-style building from what I can remember. Eventually, a woman came through into the room and requested my presence. I followed her and walked through some halls and then through a large indoors space, like an aircraft hangar or an industrial warehouse. When we were in one of these larger spaces, the woman, who I remember was formally dressed (i.e. had some sort of secretarial position), said that they were going to give me the OK to use their computer.

Apparently I wanted to use this computer to "hack" some other reactor-powered super-computer of the same sort. In the dream I already knew I had permission from the owners of that second computer to do this. My reaction to when she gave me the OK was something of surprise and I felt happy. I told her I'd be right back and jogged back to the lobby quickly to grab a few things. Mostly some papers, A4 prints of the schematics for the other reactor? Looked like amplifier schematics like the ones I often see H use.

In the dream I knew that some favour I pulled was responsible for the people who owned this place to allow me to do this, though there seemed to be no animosity with anyone and there was a calm and polite atmosphere.

I remember there was a lot of dialogue in this dream but I remember very little of it in detail, usually one of the first things to get forgotten. I went back to the woman after grabbing the papers. I remember being shown into a room where I then used some sort of computer terminal and then gained physical access to the other computer's library. But it was literally and physically manifested in front of me, above the terminal.

I looked through the books. I remember chatting to this lady since she was there to supervise me, mostly small talk. I couldn't remember which of these files (the books) that H was interested in, so for whatever reason I asked for someone to go and fetch my oldest sibling (L). L arrived and immediately recognised the book. L took it and I wondered how we'd return it, since I realised in that moment this was a one-time thing but we were still obliged to return the file.

Then I said to L: "make sure you get everything you want, because we will never have access to this again." I remember thinking or feeling that the other books on that shelf were filled with irreplaceable knowledge.

The dream went on for a bit but I don't remember much. Some visions of the reactors? I told the lady about how I got permission to do all of this.

Dream Fragment:

A different dream. In space, much shorter dream. Strategy game like Homeworld but could manage planets and space stations too. Mix of Freelancer too? Don't remember the visuals anymore. Woke up after this dream.

Dream Fragment:

Fell back asleep and recalled this single fragment. Was helping T build some sort of organ console. The console didn't look right. It was askew? But it was on purpose apparently. The manuals were angled at 90 degrees and sloped on a 30 degree arc. I remember this took place in T's room. There was a light on and the room was dark otherwise, somewhat as expected really.

Mom was there, talking to T I think.

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Some notes:
- I did remember more conversational detail when I woke up and wrote down the first dream on my phone but the memory has since long left as I finish writing this DJ entry.
- The thing with the shelf and the books being the other computer's file system was very unusual. It was like an allegory, but somewhat unnecessary.
- For whatever reason, these few dreams I had all had H, T and L mixed in some sense as if they were all the same character. Although I can draw some similarities between them, like the bookshelf thing, I'm not sure why it was almost made obvious in the dream. Normally my less conscious thoughts don't manifest themselves in dreams in such an obvious way, probably since I already recognise all these elements consciously anyway.
- The secretary figure is starting to become a recurring dream character in a sense. Feels like a sort of formal projection, as a character, of what I would consider my anima to be. Last year there were some similar appearances. Usually black hair, tidy, possibly glasses and a smooth but not perfect face. A slight bit of attitude or something in body posture, but in a relaxed way. Takes herself seriously.

- A note on the above; I have taken the Jungian archetypes into a sort of personally meaningful way as I do with symbols in general, so that they have specific meanings to myself, which are often a bit more distant from their original meanings. This accounts for why the appearance of these archetypes varies, sometimes dramatically. But the key identifier for them is usually that they are key characters in the dream and that they are not related to people I know, and seem to be more disjointed from the other characters in a dream, usually.

- T's room was more or less as I remember last seeing it. The sense of any unpleasant smell didn't seem to be there, but I remember feeling uncomfortable being in the room.