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    Non-Lucid Dreams

    1. 3,304 words

      by , 05-31-2018 at 06:48 PM
      3304 words
      Off computer at 7:16 P M.

      --------------------------------

      4:18 A M: This is my first time up to dream journal. I had one or two rounds of dreams that went to RBFA and I couldn't even get a single clue as to what they were about. I tried, because I know I recalled them once I'd woken up. I almost thought of at least making some voice notes but I was like "if I stay still I will get one more detail" and then fell asleep.

      The second round of dreams must have only had a brief awakening afterward because I didn't even get up to use the bathroom.

      My earliest memory from this third round of dreams was that M R and N H were trying to talk me into something. I remember a fridge, and that I had taken the two glass shelves out of the fridge. I put the top one back in, and some food on there. But the bottom shelf from the fridge was still out on the table. Also, there were a bunch of little glass pieces that went with it, which I was trying to figure out what to do with. Stacks of little glass rectangles.

      I also remember a part where there was all this gunk. maybe in a shower. maybe something to do with a beach. I don't really remember now. But I remember thinking it was a bad thing, and should be stopped. However, no one else was really bothered by it. I think I kept trying to clean the gunk or something. It was clearly one person's fault. I guess I moved on when it turned out no one else minded.

      I remember a part where I was standing in the center of a circle with some other people in the middle with me. And lots of people began to circle around us in a big circle. I had the idea they were some kind of demons or bad guys all circling around us. But then the mood shifted and I was talking to one of the guys in the circle. He was taller than me. I was like, "Thanks for letting me use your body!" Because I guess he had let me use his body like a robot. There was another big guy next to him who was also heavy and very tall. I told him he had giant muscles and could defeat anybody. They both went and walked on a track.

      Now I remember this part. Maybe it was earlier. I remember a really light shot gun someone had. And driving in some cars. Maybe something with a smaller gun. Never mind, I can't piece it together.

      I also remembered a part in which I was trying to write down my food. Something with numbers and maybe even a graph.

      There was another part in a restaurant with an Indian man like K. He was making an egg sandwich on a griddle. At first I don't think it was a griddle but it became a griddle as I started at it wondering why he had just cracked raw eggs onto a plate like that. He put a sheet of bacon the size of a slice of bread, and then cracked 2 eggs on the bread, and I think some cheese. I remember tasting some of the egg white but it still needed to cook a little more. Still, it was pretty good. He said how that was a really cheap way of making it and so he could profit more from selling that, than if he cooked it another way.

      I don't know if there were details in the middle here. But next thing I remember is being in the dining room with a family. The Dad was mean to the kids and wife. It was the last straw because he had been mean on a regular basis. This meant it was time to call the lawyer and get the Dad out of there. I ran for the phone because I knew the dad would physically try to stop me. I remember the rush of running. The phone was near by and I managed to find the lawyer's number on a piece of paper as I ran. I almost wondered if there would be no point, because I didn't have the lawyer's number.

      As I ran, I made an appointment. The dad was chasing me. To get ahead, I jumped down the stair well, from railing to railing, down a few flights. I got to a floor with a pool table and went in there. That was where I was supposed to meet the lawyer and discuss things. What a relief, I made it, without the dad catching me.

      Then I was more focused on the people playing pool. The pool table had some different elements to it. Almost like a mini-golf course, but as a pool table. Not quite but it just had some segments. People there made some pretty skillful pool moves. (I just got a flash back of the earlier dream with the gunk in the shower, and a woman saying it didn't matter.)

      Eventually the dad caught up and brought us this raccoon thing. He handed it to me because I was supposed to take care of it. It curled up in my arms and went to sleep. (I think its from observing the rabbit in the yard for a while last night.) The raccoon thing seemed to go to sleep though and it was supposed to sleep 10 days. I wasn't sure if it would sleep all 10 days or wake up. Or what it would need. There was a little house for it. I wondered if it belonged in the fridge.

      The dad got a big dispenser of water. He called it "carbon water" and it was the only kind of water I could feed the raccoon. This worried me because it was going to be expensive. (Was there something about brushing my teeth?) So we sat around and drank the carbon water I guess. But something theatrical happened and a bunch of bubbles floated up. They contained the word A7 which was the name of an ion. (Something like that, maybe A7+.) It was really fascinating to see all that happen. Then there was a really steamy cup of tea. It was under the table at first so I thought someone had a cigarette, and got ready to get mad. But the tea was just the thing making the steam, not a cigarette, making smoke.

      There was also some other magical stuff like presents appearing. Because I didn't think it was a dream, my mind actually shifted the whole thing so it became a movie. This way I would believe it was waking life, because that would be more likely to happen in a movie scene. It looked like special effects. Then I found myself sitting and watching the movie.

      There was a woman in the chair to my right. She was saying how her boyfriend was workaholic and would never just relax and hang out with her after a movie. I turned so I was facing her and started to try to talk about my recovery from workaholism. Partly to be nice and partly because I was single and wanted her to like me! She didn't face in my direction which I guess meant she would have felt bad to talk with me due to having a boyfriend.

      I got up and walked some ways away. Up some hills. Maybe through some snow. Thinking about the woman there, feeling off about it. And I was still thinking about the animal but I forgot if I left it in a tree or still had it. Anyway, I walked so far that I realized I'd gone too far. There was a train heading back to where I'd come from and I sprinted towards it. Just barely made it. It turned out to be a bus, on train tracks. I thought I'd have to go all the way around to get in, but there was a door on my side. When I got in, I barely made it. I had to grab the door and yell to the bus driver to slow down. He must have been on a schedule, and that would throw off his schedule. I explained to him gratefully that its my first time using this bus. He was nice about it.

      The rest of the people on the bus looked shady, like gangsters. I was kind of nervous and sat towards the back. We ended up playing more pool. I guess the bus just transformed into another pool hall, because dreams can do that. I don't know why I am dreaming of playing pool. I haven't played pool or even seen a pool table in years. Maybe my dreams are suggesting I go play pool! The table was divided into sections again, unlike a waking life pool table. People were doing all kinds of tricks like blowing on the pool balls and putting spin on the pool balls. I also noticed that no one used the triangle. And if they did, there would have been 2 triangles worth of pool balls. Anyway the first guy who went used the pool stick differently. swinging it from above. I was like, "Cool style." Someone knocked the cue ball in. I forgot every move of the game but it was very vivid and interesting to watch. I think round 3 of dreams (which was this round) is usually my most vivid and eventful so if I take any Alpha-GPC or Huperzine-A it should be between rounds 2 and 3.

      After that there was something else about whether or not a woman would like me. And more lucid dreaming tips. I remember R S leaning back with his hands near a bubbling pot of water. He was a master lucid dreamer, in this dream. And the Lucid Dreaming tips were naps, RC's, and 2 other things. The guy said that besides, that, nothing made a big difference. I wanted to impress the woman.

      Then I think was when I woke up. Nothing I can do now to re-gain those first or second round of dreams' dream details. Some of the second round may have trickled in to the dream journal. But I am thinking through them and I fall back to sleep! If I got up to write it would seem premature as I wasn't done thinking of them. So its definitely a "double bind" but there will be lots of dreams in the coming days, weeks and months and even years. Okay, back to bed.

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      8:20 A M: Great. I managed to get some sleep. It took a little while to fall back asleep and I almost doubted I would. But, I did! I had lots of short dreams and snoozing.

      I remember something with trying to get on an A C A phone meeting. They said something about how I would have to press any key to skip the main menu and go straight to the meeting. I figured everyone would start to do that, and skip the main menu. I remember a fellow traveler, maybe named J, calling me. We talked about some stuff. I said something about how if I isolate too much I could return to old behaviors or an addiction. I think I remember a poster on the wall. In the walk-in fridge, there were a bunch of milk jugs. However, all the milk jugs were opened and partly drank out of. I thought it was weird that they had all been used a little bit, instead of people just using one all the way. It was like the walk in fridge at my house in college. The milks had the light purple label which means 1% or skim milk, I forget which. I wanted some milk but decided they wouldn't be any good, due to having been opened. They looked spoiled to me.

      Then, when I walked out of the walk in fridge thing, someone talked to me about getting a job. They were saying how smart I was, but they couldn't hire anyone to work on the crane. I was thinking, 'Good! I don't want to work on a crane!' Then instead of a person, there was more of a voice talking to me. I could tell I was hearing a voice from the sky, but didn't know it was a dream. The voice was telling me some different things. One thing it told me was an earlier part of the dream I had forgotten. It was because I couldn't remember the earliest part of this sleep cycle's dreams, and it actually told me what happened. However, I don't remember it now! Unless it was the milk jug part. But I remember it then, and it rang true.

      There were parts where I was starting a subreddit called r/nojob or r/dontgetajob in addition to other subreddits like another sub-reddit for being anti-cigarettes. I was in my room from senior year of college. I remember looking on our big screen T V from the couch, which was up, and to the left. It was really hard to see anything at that angle and it got kinda frustrating, trying to work like that. At another point I was in my room with my 42 inch TV hooked up as a monitor. Something about using the correct kind of cable and a tutorial about that.

      In yet another part, I was in this one house by the ocean. The ocean was so blue and went on forever. It felt like I was on the very edge of the world. There was something about how I had to go talk to the guy next door so I went over there. He was an African American guy with a beard, like Mr. T. I saw another person interviewing him from outside. They talked in a totally un-known language but as they spoke, a female robot voice translated everything. (I forgot the exact words.) I didn't know it was a dream but it was so vivid. I remember the guy had a huge mansion. And I remember going and walking out to the side of the stone patio, which went right up to the ocean, too. There was a little mini pool thing but it looked like it went down in a whirl-pool. I thought of it as a jacuzzi and wanted to jump right in. It was so vivid. The sky was bright blue, the ocean was waving, it was really vivid.

      Next I was going to use the bathroom, I think back in the same house as above. I saw my sister so I knew she wasn't in there. I went to go to the bathroom and then saw one bedroom and then beyond that, another bedroom. In the 3rd bedroom I saw purple legs standing on a pillow. It was my cousin J. I tried to close the door and use the bathroom but I didn't go in the stall. I aimed for a hole in the floor. I missed a lot and was going to have to wipe the floor up after. My cousin came to the bathroom right then and I saw her eye, looking in to the bathroom. I covered up, and didn't want her to see that I had peed! I just couldn't figure out how to use the stall. I yelled at her about it, like, "Don't look!" And felt bad for yelling. I felt like I had to push her away. Luckily, it was just a dream. (This is why I am trying to train myself to RC every time I go pee.)

      I remember a false awakening where I was walking around a building. I wanted to go pee in a corner somewhere and go right back to bed, without waking up too much. My goal was to keep dream chaining and try to get lucid, and go explore that ocean. Unbeknownst to me, I was still in a dream already. I found a corner that I almost peed in but then there was a heavy guy who came out of the kitchen, like 50 feet from the door I was at, walking into a cafeteria. So, that plan was blown.

      When I woke up physically, I realized there was a bathroom that was easy to go to. But it took a while because my mind had still carried the impression of there not being a near-by bathroom.

      My last dream was about looking for the next season of Dragon Ball Super. There was something cool about Vegeta and how he could freeze time and rewind to where everyone was standing around him, and someone said something mean to him. Then re-play the scene but do it differently. I remember looking on-line because a new show had been released every day. So I was trying to find it up on You Tube. I think it was Sunday in the dream. That led me to a message board, where they had video game links. Someone replied to my question in Spanish with a link to a web-site that would have a Pokemon game. My attention went to that. I remember looking at a Super Nintendo Controller, trying to set up the buttons, like in an emulator. The titles to the paragraphs were in Spanish but the rest were in English. One was a silly gossip article about how Charizard fell in love with Manta Something. I woke up from that thinking that I'm trying to avoid gaming, so I can't actually go set that up. Then I realized it had been a dream.

      So, those were a good amount of dreams. My recall on them was pretty good. I am glad to have slept in so much. For me its much more of a success to sleep in than it would be to wake up early.

      I am beginning to be a little down about how I'm falling back to sleep after the first round of dreams lately, without writing it. And usually, forgetting much of it. So, although I think its healthy to have a balance between sleep and dream recall, I might start to think of some way to avoid forgetting those first or second rounds of dreams. But also it will probably come back to me naturally, once I allow myself to get the rest I need. because some nights, I would be recalling that first round of dreams, and at the end, have plenty of energy to get up and write it.

      Oh! I also remembered a dream detail of going through my phone and trying to convert the audio format of my voice recorder (m4a I think) to mp3 or vice versa. That detail came back to me later in the morning, when I thought of my phone.
    2. Scary Roller Coaster

      by , 05-31-2018 at 05:21 PM
      Matt and Alec were on a discord chat with me. Matt asked me a bunch of questions about alec. I was mad at him cause I said some things about alec's social skills while alec was on the channel the whole time. Then Alec and I had a talk about it afterward. He sent me a message saying he likes french toast and has other interestes besides programaming such as cooking.
      ----
      at an amusment park and the rides were ridiculously high. Some friends and I were all of the sudden climbing a really high roaller coaster can suddenly became scared one of the cars would run us over on the track. We slid down a beam of the coaster. klefstad was in some of the arcade games
      ---
      Then I was in a locker room where they demanded to shave every part of my body
      ---
      Was at a family party and had apparently just completed some sort of hunger games like task. people applauded me and my aunt ask if i wanted anything and i requested white tea. my cousins took a hit form a bong
      ---
      was in a restaurant and had an idea a restaurant where the waiter doesnt go to you but you go to the waiter. and thats why they call him a waiter becasuse he is waiting for customers to come to him. somehow we ended up getting thrown out of the restaurant
      ---
    3. Day 110: Breaking the System

      by , 05-31-2018 at 02:53 PM (An Insomniac's Dream Journal)
      Fell asleep at: 12:00 AM

      Woke up at: 7:30 AM


      Dream 94: securityguard.exe has stopped working

      School cafeteria; daytime, in line for lunch. I remember it perfectly, macaroni and cheese, bread, corn, and PB&J. The line was getting shorter by the second until I reached the register. The PB&J morphed into a grilled cheese, something I thought was odd but never acted on it.

      Approaching the register I see not a lunch lady, but a female security guard (One that I'm familiar with). She tells me that I couldn't have the grilled cheese because I already grabbed a mac & cheese. This made no sense to me seeing as I saw three kids walk by her with both a grilled and mac & cheese.

      Then she says I will only acquire both food items if I prove to her I'm a true Christian(?). She asks me a couple pretty easy questions but one ends up tripping me, "What is one famous Christian Russian philosopher?" I don't happen to know any Russian Christian philosophers myself, so I end up guessing.

      Then she breaks.

      For whatever reason, her face is frozen with her mouth wide open, and speaking in tongues. Her gaze is locked straight on me as I try to get away from her. She doesn't move an inch, but she's still speaking in tongue. I end up leaving the school building with my lunch.
    4. Pufferfish Lady

      by , 05-31-2018 at 02:41 PM (The Internal and Subconscious World of DropTherapy)
      FRAGMENT 1:
      In the first fragment, I was listening to the end of The Chosen Priest and the Apostle of Infinite Space by Bull of Heaven in my art class at school. It was a sad sounding piano ballad narrated with a father telling his son he was sorry about something.

      Fragment 2:
      In the next fragment, I was outside an apartment I was staying at. I saw a really popular husband and wife walking into a limousine, surrounded by people. The wife, instead of just saying no to show her discontempt, puffed her face up to arround twice the diameter until it scared the husband into not going into the limo. I then ran away from the apartment, but I gave up and went back. 8 hours seemed to have gone by in 8 minutes. I walked in, saw my fat, miserable dream family watching TV, saw there was no room on the couch, and sat down on a mat on the opposite wall. I then played this

      Updated 05-31-2018 at 10:45 PM by 89498

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable , dream fragment
    5. Dream - Room Wrecking Vlog & Journey To The House

      by , 05-31-2018 at 01:13 PM
      Date of Dream: THU 31 MAY - 2018



      Dream No. 345 - Separated Sections

      Dream 345 A - Room Wrecking Vlog
      I only remember scattered scenes of this dream. The first scene consists of my family along with my brother's friend Dom in an unknown suburban area. We were discussing Dom coming to sleep over at our house. At first, he sounded okay with it but after a short while, he didn't seem to keen... I noticed that he was losing confidence about something. I thought he did know where to go and so I hopped into his car with him and he was driving. That scene ended there.

      The second scene I can remember is my parents checking out my bedroom for a future clean but they didn't do much in there. The scene then tended to repeat itself but this time with Logan from SML. He was walking into my room, wearing his yellow Jeffy t-shirt and there was a big vlog camera behind him, like if someone were to shoot a TV show in there... But then Chilly wasn't there... But neither was the camera floating. I don't know who was behind the camera.

      Logan was doing his typical SML vlogs where these days in real life, he tends to do some disturbing stuff. In the dream, he started walking around my bedroom, which was bigger and differently arranged than in real life. He was pointing at things and sniggering. He came across these blown up stick shape balloons hanging off the side of a raised wall unit above the foot of my bed. He goes to the vlog, “Ah, so these are balloons that she's gonna use to celebrate a birthday party with her dream guide”. And then he turned very naughty. He paused and then said really fast, “Imma pop' em!” and he sliced a knife through all the six balloons, leaving them all wrecked and deteriorated.

      He did more to ruin my room but I forgot the specific bags around. He was throwing bags and shoes around, taking things down, he was making my room a complete mess. In the next scene, I walked in to my room, he wasn't in there anymore. It was indeed a mess that I walked into. I walked around carefully to assess the damage and when I saw the diminished balloons, that took the cake. I started crying and was asking myself in a badly distressed tone, “Why?!”. I was most distraught that I couldn't celebrate the birthday with Dreamy WB anymore, I forgot whether it was mine or hers.

      The last scene is messy in my memory. I was in some unknown shopping complex and there were various people from Killester and Chisholm there, including teachers. On the top floor of the shopping complex, there was a performance precinct there. The staff was some American lady but I don't know anything else about her. I was going to do a performance as well as a few other acts as well. That's all I can remember about this dream.

      Dream 345 B - Journey To The House
      I don't remember how the dream started. From where I do remember, I was on the Eastlink track near my house. There were a small group of Camelot and Killester girls there, all wearing red t-shirts. Two of the girls I can clearly remember are KK and RKi. RKi had spoken to me about something but I forgot what exactly it was that she said. I think I mentioned that I was looking to go to someone's house.

      Murray had then appeared but I forgot how and why. He appeared as a hologram, half way between his Sly 4 and Sly 2/3 appearance. In this dream, he was somewhat strict towards me. I had felt though that Murray wasn't physically with me and that I would have to find a way to reach his house where he'd fully look after me.
      As a sub-scene, I was envisaging what it would be like there, it was Murray actually tucking me into bed, under a white and magenta bed-set, and giving me a kiss goodnight. Everything in the room was pink and some furnishings almost resembled the Geisha house from Sly 4. The sub-scene had then changed and it showed me riding really fast up the hill on Wellington Road with the strict holographic Murray back in play, hovering next to me and keeping up with my riding pace, pointing up ahead.

      Then it was back at the actual scene and I was riding my bike on the trail. The holographic Murray was keeping pace with me and I was talking to him. I told him that I had to go home to get something. When we arrived at my house, he stayed in the driveway while I went upstairs to do whatever I needed to do. My grandma was in the bathroom and she was being really annoying in this dream. The stuff she told me to use in the bathroom was gross and so I will not go into detail. She wouldn't stop talking and so at one point, I unfortunately had to yell at her. It was something like “Baka! It's getting dark, I have to leave!”. She was still chewing my ear off about the gross item and so I just ultimately walked out on her.

      It was nightfall when I successfully got downstairs again. I went into the garage and into the cellar, which wasn't distorted in this dream, to pull out my bike again and I felt nostalgic doing this. When I was back in the driveway, Murray attached himself back to a close radius around me and my bike. He was still strict but now to a lesser degree and seemed more quiet and relaxed. I rode down the court and went the usual way I would leave my local area in real life. In the dream, my goal was to get back to the track which ultimately lead to Murray's house if I rode down it for long enough.

      I ended up on Haverbrack drive and it was now actually night time. I could feel this energy coming off Murray like he was greatly concerned for me. Apparently because it was night time, if I wasn't careful, all these bad criminals would come out of their houses and try to assault me. Luckily, as Haverbrack drive was the main road throughout the area, it had street lights. There were a lot of minor roads to cross in order to stay on the footpath but I had to stop because heaps of cars would come out of them. I made pretty good judgements about when there were no more cars and the holographic Murray would also help me cross.

      It became so dark and Murray's energy just seemed to become heavier and heavier, he was really badly worried for me now. Sly appeared out of nowhere as a hologram, in his Sly 2/3 appearance, and pushed my riding direction onto the next side road. There were absolutely no street lights now and it was pitch black. Bentley suddenly appeared as a hologram in his Sly 1 appearance and he was in hysterics, screaming like you would believe it. He goes, “SLY!!!!!! THAT'S DANGEROUS!!!!!! NO! SLY!!!!!!!!!”. Sly replied in an almost shouting tone, “We need to get someone to look after her!”. I then woke up.



      Dream Tasks
      - Have Logan receive harsh penalties from Dreamy WB due to reckless social behaviours (Achieved? No)
      - Investigate where my SML postage has gone (Achieved? No)
      - Reach the Gyeongbokgung Palace (Achieved? Partially)
      - Have Dreamy WB or Murray go to console an upset dream character (Achieved? No)
      - In accordance to the "shared dreaming experiment" proceed on locating the moon (Achieved? No)



      Dream 345: Results (Competition #3)

      345 A
      Competition Night: 30
      Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Non-Lucid
      Dream Guide: None
      Emergency Team: None
      Eligible For Competition Points: Yes

      345 B
      Competition Night: 30
      Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Non-Lucid
      Dream Guide: Murray
      Emergency Team: Sly & Bentley
      Eligible For Competition Points: Yes



      Points For This Entry:
      Calculation Details:
      - Full Non-Lucid Dream (1.0)
      - Full Non-Lucid Dream (1.0)

      + Previous Total: 142.0
      Total Accumulated Points: 144.0



      NOTE: Colour keys for Dream 345 B:
      Colour = Day Time
      Colour = Night Time

      When Bentley was screaming at Sly and Sly replied "We need to find someone to look after her!", I think they were aware of my mum's friend AV and where she lives.

      Baka is what Croatians call their grandma
      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
    6. Little White Clouds that cause Earthquakes

      by , 05-31-2018 at 11:57 AM
      Morning of May 31, 2018. Thursday.



      In my dream, I am back in the Loomis Street house. In this case, my thread of memory of being married to Zsuzsanna is extant, but everything else is absent. There is a vague backstory that develops out of the liminal awareness of being in the dream state, autosymbolism that brings about little white clouds outside of which are only about three feet above the ground.

      To summarize, my dream involves looking outside (from the south room of the Loomis Street house) in late morning and seeing these little white miniature cumulus clouds, again, hovering above the ground, though only in a singular sparse row between the houses, slowly drifting east to west. I feel a very unusual sense of something being “off”, and yet no lucidity is triggered by this liminal awareness. I illogically “realize” that clouds being this low to the ground, even though they are small, will cause earthquakes. An earthquake does occur, and I go into the middle north bedroom (where I never slept in real life). Zsuzsanna and I cheerfully interact. (Obviously, a bedroom, even the “wrong” one, is a dream state indicator, not symbolism or more accurately, not autosymbolism, as dreams are not symbolic in the conventional sense.)



      Earthquakes occurred very often in childhood dreams, usually only the first dream of my sleep cycle, and they were not threatening to me in any way. This developed out of liminal dream control where I would deliberately shake a scene from side to side to intentionally change the setting of my dream (not by moving my dream self’s head but by willing the setting to waver from side to side to bring about a different setting, typically barnyards, forests, train stations, a friend’s house, and so on). Over the years, this was no longer required due to certain advanced knowledge when in the dream state even without lucidity (despite the absence of my conscious self identity), but this still remains an occasional residual factor.


    7. Nightmare number 999

      by , 05-30-2018 at 03:46 PM (Nef's dream journal)
      I or my mom was driving a car somewhere. Then we got struck by a lightning. Mom stopped the car and then I woke up.
    8. 3,453 words - selected parts in bold

      by , 05-30-2018 at 02:00 PM
      Today I'm closing the computer a little later, at 8:30 P M. Just want to note that.

      ---------------------------------

      I had one round of dreams that was RBFA. I did end up recalling a good amount at the time but could only re-remember certain parts.

      I think I remembered M R, G F and N H in these.

      One part was of a fight. Someone flying with jet packs. Some kind of red sugary drink powder.

      At the end there was an Italian guy waiting tables and he was talking to a giant bottle of red wine.

      I woke up from those and recalled a good amount, even with the fan on. Recall was going so well I considered making some voice notes, but I was unwilling to get up and write. So I fell back asleep. Again, balance is important, so I'm not mad about it. But when I have the energy I will write them.

      --------------------------------

      Round 2 of dreams was different. I didn't RBFA (Here I am writing it now) but when I woke up, I couldn't latch on to a detail and start remembering, right away, or as soon as I'd like to. It took me a while and then I realized they had been a very long series of dreams. So here is what I got.

      I remember S S, G S and N S in one part. I was with S S and we were going to his house. I had to take out my retainer or put in my retainer before talking to them. It was a detailed part but I only remember it vaguely.

      I remember being in convertibles with some friends in a parking lot. And we were weight lifting. We had weights in the car. I forgot if we did a variety of workouts but I know I did a back workout. Afterwards, I was moving my shoulder blades, and realizing I shouldn't do any back workouts for a few days, so that I would recover the energy I'd used. One of the guys there said something about working out which I forgot.

      Then I remember driving around by the local intermediate school. I wanted to pull in to the parking lot by the big field. It was totally empty, no one was there. Still, I was afraid I wasn't allowed to, like it was just for people who currently went to school there.

      Something happened and I thought I had done something wrong. I remember Ms. M (math teacher) saying that it wasn't me who had done anything wrong. It was something else at the same time. Well, that was a relief.

      I remember this demonstration with a pyramid thing. It was more surreal at this point. The pyramid had several symbols on it. There was a guy doing a demonstration of how the pyramid could shoot streams of fire and ice. Or lava and ice. But he also said frozen lava and burning ice. The red and blue streams twisted around each other in a show. There was a girl who was afraid to go into the pyramid because she imagined a corpse would be in the first chamber to the right. It showed an outline from the outside of what she thought might be there.

      I remember sitting out by the school and talking on the phone with my friend M, from FL. We were taking turns talking. He was saying something and as I listened, I thought, "This is great to be talking to M again at the end of each day." Then a really loud helicopter went overhead. I was so annoyed at how low it was flying. But it was also spinning around and around very fast. Not just the chopper blades but the actual body of the helicopter was spinning. This seemed different to me but with dream logic, I explained to myself how that always happened.

      Then M and I were on the plane. We found out how to de-stabilize it because there was a frozen bottle of soda. In the dream, soda couldn't freeze, so a frozen bottle of soda became highly pressurized, like tanks of liquid oxygen. So we were playing with that, knowing it could mess up the plane, because we were mad at the plane.

      Then, my Dad and even N F and other family members were all trying to get me to come talk to them. But I just walked right past, glad to escape their clutches. However, my sister got caught by them. She got away again, and morphed into protein powder, and hid in a tupperware, mixed into some water. My Dad could easily find her because she was with her friend A and that's the only place she would go. So he was able to poke a hole in the tupperware and get her out or something like that.

      Maybe some more things happened. The last thing I remember is being on the computer and receiving an e-mail from my friend K. She had sent me a list of affirmations, saying that she sometimes had a busy mind and would use the affirmations. They had to do with all categories of life, but one was something like, "My room is clean and peaceful." After I read that, I looked up from my computer and looked around my room. Nothing seemed different from waking life to me (Not that I was actively checking) but I don't remember exactly what I saw. I was just looking at my room and thinking of the affirmation. Also, my chair was in a similar spot as it was in waking life.

      So, that was fine to recall all that. I kind of wish I'd recalled more, because I got a little burst of energy while recalling those and could have gone on typing. Another thing that I think limited my recall a little this time was the fan's noise. But I had no clue there had been so many dreams in round 2, so I didn't even know what to look for, until one of the memories reminded me. I remembered thinking of how many dreams there had been. I think I also remember kids in my Nana's back yard, but not sure.

      So, back to bed now. I think my word count will be down a bit based on letting myself RBFA. But I am just trying to listen to my energy levels and find balance.

      --------------------------------

      I slept some more, and had a cool dream chain thing. The first few dreams I did another RBFA, partly because there weren't that many dreams. When I fell back asleep I found myself in a long dream and had some lucidity. Plus, very vivid.

      I remember being in my Nana's den with O A, C V and A R.

      My dad came down and started to pin each person on the couch for no reason. I wanted to stop him but he was kind of bullying my friends and he was too big for me to stop. So, I tried to escape before he could bully me, too. On the way out, I remember running as fast as I could. I grabbed a serrated steak knife in case I needed to defend myself. It was my best option. I remember crawling beneath the windows outside Nana's living room. The lights were on in there, and I was afraid they'd see me, but I got away towards the road. I don't remember what else happened after that.

      I think that was all I remembered from that time of sleep. Then I did the RBFA and had more dreams.

      My earliest memory of these took place in a class room, but it was a lot of dreams. I remember there was a guy at the chalk board with some kind of mask. He asked me something about a church, which bothered me, but I decided to be nice to him because I thought I knew him long ago, when he was different. I forgot what else happened in that part.

      Maybe there was some kind of class room I had got into where all these women were having an art competition. It is too vague to fully recall it. I think it involved my mom.

      I also remember something in the fridge that was maybe my sister's.

      Now I clearly remember walking with my Mom, and holding her hand. I think at first we had our fingers clasped but I started to worry that someone would think she was my girlfriend. So I wondered if it was okay to hold my mom's hand. It was because she was having trouble walking or balancing. So it made sense to me. I just held her hand the other way, without fingers clasped. That seemed to be the better way to do it.

      We got to a square of pavement with a puddle in front. I would have jumped the puddle but I realized my mom couldn't so I looked for another way around. Then we had to go back up to a platform but there were no steps. I helped my mom up a ladder thing that was like light yellow in color. Then we watched the bridge to my town open up. A red truck had segments dangling down from the bridge which seemed different to me. I guess they opened the bridge before the truck made it all the way over. But dream logic said the truck would just finish driving itself fully to one side. There were some little kids swimming in the water underneath. It got my attention but again I just figured that's what kids do. They had floaties on.

      Then my Mom and I walked somewhere. I think it shifted to where we were at her friend C's house. (I think J L was in the previous dream on the plane.) I forgot all that happened, maybe something about someone's food in the fridge? Actually, I think I was eating steak. I've been vegan for almost 2 years and I knew this in the dream but I figured I'd just eat the steak one time. I wasn't lucid yet. There was something about my sister having certain food in the fridge that wasn't for me.

      Anyway I remember standing with my mom in one upstairs place and looking down at the back yard. There was a beautiful rectangular in-ground pool. The color was sea green but it looked intentional. not like it had got full of algae but that they meant for it to look that way. I went to point it out to my Mom. She said, "Yeah, this is the home of the wealthiest 40-head." I was like, "40-head? Who?" And she said it was her friend C. It made sense since her friend C always seemed like she had alcoholism or addiction issues. I think there was also stuff involving my mom's friend J from upstate that I can't remember.

      But then I looked again at the pool and it was a square garden of green leaves. This caught my attention. I knew there was just a pool there moments ago. So I told my Mom, "You know, sometimes things can just change from one to another around here. It's like we're in a dream!" I knew for sure it was a dream but when I heard myself say that I realized I was just giving my mom a hint, not directly saying it. She asked me more about dreams. "Do you keep a dream journal?" I think she asked. I got really excited because it just felt fun and maybe I'd teach my mom to lucid dream. I casually answered while looking at a little yellowish spider thing on a web. I was trying to see what its shape was. "I write down all my dreams! You know, just last night, I was dreaming about..." and then I think the dream shifted.

      I'm not sure the exact order, but there was this part where sponge-bob was trying to get the world record for bathing in some really gross liquid. It was like some kind of burning liquid with lye, or some kind of vomit stuff. Eventually something happened and it drained out of the tub. I thought he'd be upset that he didn't get to the world record. But I also didn't want to see him keep suffering. I think I was still lucid for this part, looking at the different characters and thinking of how to draw them later. Also I remember examining some of the brown gunk before the scene changed.

      Next I remember being in some kind of weight room. Some athletes were in there, training. It reminded me of my high school weight room, maybe with a different hall way leading up to it. I was lucid. I got all my energy in my head and tried to blast myself like a rocket, accross the room. Just to try it. And it worked, I flew over there at rocket speed. One of the football players asked me how I did it, and I pointed to my skull. (Saying it was from brain power.) Then, I tried to do it again. Aiming to teleport or fly super fast over to another weight machine and lift the whole thing. But I couldn't get it to work.

      There was something about a custody battle with some people's kids. I don't remember as much of it.

      Somehow I got to the arboretum and I was lucid. Coming down the trail along the pond, from where the baby snake was. (Waking life reference.) As I got to the parking lot area, I noticed Eckhart Tolle's voice was playing. 'Wow, my dream is doing Eckhart Tolle,' I think I thought. (I forgot what happened up until then, if there was anything.) I walked by some green plants and over some green plants growing in the middle of the trail. Eckhart Tolle's voice was saying, "It is possible to hide some feelings, it is possible to hide with..." And then he did one of those long pauses. I was thinking of how gentle and non-accusatory his voice sounded. Just very objective and calm. I thought the audio had ended, he paused so long. But he continued, "...thoughts." (So he said hide with thoughts. And I think he meant that it was possible to think thoughts in my head quietly without telling anyone what they were.)

      I was going to try to indulge in something but caught myself. I had set a goal to do something more constructive. So the first thing that came to mind was "Run!" So I ran and breathed deeply. It felt really good to run in the dream. I remember feeling my lungs expand. In waking life there is a lot of impact, so I can't really run, because the impact hurts. (I am only 5'10 160lbs but it hurts.) But in the dream I could run. Then I noticed the pond, like in waking life. In waking life its not really for swimming. More of a shallow duck pond with mirky water. but because I was lucid, and I knew it was a dream, I dove in to swim! It's been ages since I swam in a dream. The arm movements felt weird because I was dreaming that my body pillow was stuck to my chest. I switched to a back stroke and tried to look up at the sky, but there didn't seem to be a sky.

      After swimming out a little far I realized that I was in the water. And there could be scary fish! So I hurried up and swam to shore. Now instead of a hill, there was a squared-off level kind of like a Mario world. So I pulled myself up the ladder.

      Sure enough it was like a bedroom, a mario level thing, and then I could see a town of white mushroom-shaped buildings off in the distance. The town looked inviting and I wanted to run to the edge of the cliff and fly down to it. Then I looked into the open bedroom part and saw Jingles, my sister's cat. An orange cat. It was light orange with slightly darker orange striped. They had to give it away when they moved upstate.

      I tried to summon my sister so that she could re-unite with her cat. Around that time, a rainbow-striped cat appeared.


      The rainbow cat became a dark blue cat and seemed to be an adversary. It was scary so I escaped.

      I thought I had woken up but it was actually a red and orange map showing some houses. I had a mouse pointer and I noticed that the dream hadn't ended. I could click on one of the houses. There was one near the bottom left that lit up when I hovered the mouse cursor over it. That would be the one I'd click on.

      I forgot if it took me anywhere else. Eventually I woke up and thought them through. But had a false awakening. (An RBFA-FA!)

      In the false awakening I knew it was Wednesday morning (like in waking life) and that W A would be soon. When I checked my phone, it looked like it was already 8:10 A M! So I had missed the first 40 minutes. But the moderator, one of the women from the group, was just welcoming new people. So apparently the phone was an hour ahead and it was only 7:10 A M, and they were just welcoming new people who had arrived early. 'Well, thats nice,' i thought. My plan was to hook up the meeting to record it so I could do my dream recall.

      As I tried to hook up the phone to record I realized my dream memory was slipping away. Putting on the phone is not something I'd do until I'd at least recalled my dream fully, in a solid way, even if I hadn't recorded it yet. But then I wanted someone's contact information - One of the guys from the custody battle in the earlier part - So I could support them in winning custody. I forgot why, maybe the mom was worse. Or he was my friend.

      I got his contact information and it was a video chat thing. He looked angry. He had light brown/blonde hair. And was saying, "Learn to talk back!" In a rapper voice. I realized all this was delaying my dream recall, but I felt it was my only chance. I got to a point where I could stop on the phone and go to dream recall.

      I also remember the location shifted from my room, with the recorder under my bed, so the woods near the local library. Specifically near the tree where it goes toward someones back yard. And the blue houses.

      Then I woke up physically again and was really relieved that I hadn't really gotten up and disrupted my dream recall by going on the phone. I recalled what I could of the dreams. It seemed blurry in some areas, but still pretty good. I was happy with the lucidity and the eventfulness.

      I will try to sleep once more since its still pretty early. it's only a little past 6 A M.

      --------------------------------

      Well, I didn't get back to sleep. It was probably enough sleep. Trying to dial into W A woke me up too much.

      I just remembered kinda randomly that I dreamed of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon. First it was another kind of more complex game but then it was just Pokemon Mystery Dungeon. I can't remember if that was this night or a previous night.
    9. Day 108 & 109: Hey, Me.

      by , 05-30-2018 at 06:33 AM (An Insomniac's Dream Journal)
      Fell asleep at: 11:00 PM

      Woke up at: 7:00 AM

      Dream 92: Reflections

      In the car with my brother, daytime. We're driving down the highway. My brother next to me is holding the phone camera to my face, and I'm trying to get it off of me.

      I managed to steal a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It was oddly clear and high res. I think it looked a little more attractive than I do in WL (Heck, I felt like Dreamy Luigi from M&L: Dream Team. No real difference except I looked better).


      Dream 93: Ham and Anger

      In the kitchen with my sister and her boyfriend, morning. They had just made me food (Migas with ham on the side). I was also watching Hulu on the Switch and I had my headphones on (The ones I lost a couple days ago).

      My cousin (Let's call him Quiet J, because why not) walks in and, being as standoffish as he is, says something to me while failing to acknowledge I was wearing headphones. I remember it being some kind of insult but I didn't want to make him angry while he was there, so I let him get his food and go to my sister's room.

      I ask my sister what he had said to me. She responded with something I don't quite remember. I then told her, annoyed, "I didn't ask how 'pretty' he thought I looked, I'm asking 'what did he say about me?''' That shut her up real quick and the dream ended shortly thereafter.
    10. 18-05-29 G-men, Explosion at BASF

      by , 05-29-2018 at 05:22 PM
      I was flying (hovering), to stay out of range of two SUVs full of stereotypical G-men (think 'Men in Black') who wanted to apprehend me. They had tasers and everything. One of them tried to reason with me. He said they needed me to help save the world. I felt a little nervous at the idea of having so much responsibility. And couldn't they just ask me nicely? I gained altitude with the white house in the background. It was night.

      I was in a bus, driving on the BASF site (large chemical production plant I used to work for). I think my dad was driving the bus. He also works there in real life. The 'steamcracker', a plant critical to the operations of the site, was doing a test. Someone on the bus suggested getting some distance between the plant and our bus, just in case something went wrong. And it did! There was an explosion. I urged my dad to floor it out of there before the blast wave could get to us.
    11. 3,314 Words - some eventful non lucids

      by , 05-29-2018 at 04:05 PM
      3314 words

      Closing comp at 7:09. Aiming to sleep by 8pm.

      ------------------------------

      Now its 4:01 A M. I woke up probably at 12 A M and 2 A M and recalled my dreams. But I was tired and let it go to RBFA. It wasn't until the third round of dreams I felt like getting up. A lot of details of the first 2 rounds stuck in my head anyway but I think to have recalled it perfectly, I'd still have been better off writing it all after each round. I kinda needed a break though, so its okay.

      ---------------------------------

      So the first round of dreams began with some stuff which I don't clearly remember now. I know that I initially remembered a bit more. Maybe it will come back as I write.

      What I remember is getting to this auditorium thing. And there were two guys facing off. One was going to punch the other. Then another guy sort of walked in between them quickly to help break it up but it was only for a moment and he kept walking by. The big guy didn't end up punching the smaller guy. Later, behind stage, the smaller guy was saying how he had post traumatic stress from that. Also, he had post traumatic stress from the guy's smoke smell. I was like, yeah, that smoke smell, is really bad.

      In another part, there was this mini saw-tooth razor on a wire or string. It was kind of floating towards me, and I had to grab it by the flat side, with my fingers, to keep it from cutting me. I managed to get away. But it turned out that it was worse than I thought!

      His intended use of the razor really upset me. I fought him on it, telling him it was wrong. He wouldn't listen, and we got in a bit of a fight. I think I had a gun but it was full of peanuts. I remember it more clearly the first time I recalled it. But I know there were some stairs. And I ended up telling the guy I don't want to hurt him.

      At the end of this round of dreams, I remember thinking of the word "adult". (I have a problem with the word "adult" in waking life, every time I hear it, I kind of cringe.) Well in the dream I didn't have that problem, and I was able to look at my inner child as the child within me, but to see myself as the adult in my contemporary life. The dream made me think about some things differently for a moment.

      So that was what I remembered of round 1.

      -------------------------------

      Round 2 of dreams came next! I remember it began with me at the grocery store in G C where the produce is, by the onions to be precise. Only in this dream, I was buying a 5 pound pack of raw chicken, a 5 pound pack of raw ground beef, and some other stuff. I remember talking to a woman there about it. There is another major detail OTTOTT and I wonder if it will come back.

      I remember the counter top in my Nana's kitchen was very dirty. B F was saying how it was already clean, but it clearly wasn't. So I took the sponge and started trying to clean it but it was stained brown.

      I remember walking in the woods at the arboretum. I had a book in my face, reading it out loud as I walked. But checking ahead of me every so often to see if anyone was walking the trail, because I'd be embarrassed if they saw me reading out loud / talking to myself. Something else happened there, I forgot what.

      I remember a post office truck, and a driver. The seat was bent funny and I wondered how it would support his head. The head part actually leaned forward too far. Anyway he drove into this building complex.

      I remember in that building complex there were some cubbies. I thought I would use the cubbies this way. One to be full of money. One to be full of water, in a giant rectangular tank. And one to be full of some sort of house titles or deeds, from real estate work I dreamed of doing.

      I wanted to do my writing out in the sun, but there was someone smoking. Or, I was afraid there eventually would be. I felt mad that the smokers could pollute my air any time and I'd never have any warning, and this made being outside a bad place for me. (I am not sure about this detail chronologically)

      I remember some guys doing a rap video. First they did some kind of talk where they said something like, "You know know," and then the other guy was like, "ohhh! That's what yo grandma said!" (Thats not a perfect recollection.) The rap video was actually about working out. It showed them doing pull ups and other workouts on a hanging fence and they rapped about the gym. Then the guy went into this one room. He was wearing a hat. But the camera man was giving him instructions for where to stand in the room, because he was recording him from outside. It might have been a bathroom, but he wasn't being recorded using the bathroom or anything like that.

      Eventually we all ended up on a slanted, paved hill, or roof. I remember it was about working out still. But I decided to just lay in the sun, with my head higher than my feet on the slanted hill. My sister laid down too five feet away or so. My mom was standing. One of the guys from the rap video was still there. I invited him to find a spot and lay down, too. Then I could narrate a guided meditation for us all, because I had been thinking of one in my head. I remember looking up at the sky. It was very white looking with some formations and images in it, I guess. Not sure. The guy found a spot like 5 feet away from my sister and I began the meditation. It felt very warm on the surface we were laying on. Mom couldn't join due to physical limitation. I got ready to start the guided meditation, and woke up.

      When I woke up, I was still going over the guided meditation in my head. I was thinking of how the guy in the dream was trying to work out all day, but he could probably benefit from some balance between physical exercise, meditation, journaling, and other activities. Not just training his body, but his mind and body. When I realized I had woken up, I started to recall the dream, and did surprisingly well.

      Those were also RBFA but I retained a lot of detail after the next time waking up. Not perfect recall compared to the first time remembering it, but given the trade-off for getting more sleep, it was okay this time.

      ---------------------------------

      Round 3 of dreams was even more vivid and eventful. I remember being on the phone with someone and telling them about W A. The phone was being weird, running out of battery, acting funny. And my fan was giving background noise that wouldn't stop so I wanted to pull the plug. The conversation seemed important. The guy told me he knew about in person W A meetings, every day, in my local area. I got excited and wanted the information. We kept talking but he didn't give me the information, so I waited. Eventually, he had to go! I was like, "Wait, what about the meeting information?" But he was off the phone by then. I would have to ask again later.

      I remember my Mom being nervous about a meeting on the phone. From an earlier dream (which I don't think I wrote) I remembered something about how in a dream, it's easier to re-frame an entire situation, cognitively. So then she could just imagine it was a dream, re-frame the entire situation cognitively, and be a happy camper. It seemed like over simplified advice though after I said it. (Some of these mental shifts in dreams have given me super powers in waking life, like last nights dream about my feelings suddenly not getting hurt.)

      I might have forgotten parts in the middle here. But I remember walking through a parking lot, probably after I had parked. I walked by the guy I was on the phone with before and prepared to ask about the meetings. A from S W T was there. I began a conversation with the guy but it was outside, so my eyes were darting around. Hyper vigilantly scanning for smokers. There turned out to be a pack of 3 on the side there, to our left. I told the guy, "Sorry, I can't stay out here. I'm allergic to smoke." And hurried inside before breathing any. (Unaware it was a dream.) I remember hearing from behind me, "He's allergic to smoke!" And A and the other people in that smoking circle said, "I love smoke!" As I went inside, I felt angry about 2 things. One, they don't "love smoke", they are in denial about their addiction. The nicotine has their brain wired to enjoy the smell but really it is harming them, similar to how the caffeine in coffee wires people to enjoy a taste which they are naturally repelled from as children. Second thing I was angry about was that their smoking addiction creates a by product (second hand smoke) which makes my air that I will have to breathe, not clean. So, they shouldn't be allowed to do it. I was internally fuming about this was I went inside.

      I remember sitting next to my cousin J. She had a can of tuna or other canned food, with a sterno base type thing beneath it, which it lit up. There was something about how she wouldn't sell it because it was so novel. I wanted to see it lit up but didn't actually get to asking. Someone in the front of the room was talking, I think. I forgot what it was about.

      I remember through the windows, seeing it begin to snow. The windows were really big. It showed a whole town. There were some really interesting mansions and the view panned around. Maybe it wasn't a window, but a big monitor or movie screen, because of how the world turned. It felt like I was looking out a window though. I remember this one mansion showed. It had a giant shaft thing with a pointed top poking up from it, like a bell tower or light house. There were holes in the walls, which I guess were for air flow, but I worried they'd let snow in.

      The next mansion was revealed from behind the first. They looked kind of like Taj Mahal buildings in some ways, with an indian design, but also other cultural influence. The dream mixed it all together very well. They were orange-brown with kind of red. Well, this mansion also had a shaft thing poking up, but on top of it was perched a purple air plane or space craft. The space craft activated and began to fly up. Beneath it was hanging a rope sort of thing made of several bulbs, with some bigger bulbs at the end. I was really amazed at this thing. The big bulbs at the bottom of its rope thing bumped into a mail box. This was shown from a zoomed-in fashion.

      Then the dream showed the run-way where the plane would take off from. It showed how the plane took off kind of lop-sided under normal conditions. But when they covered the whole run-way with slippery soap and weighed the plane down at the tail, it took off just fine. All of this testing must have taken a lot of money, I thought, and they'd have to make the movie tickets very expensive.

      Charlie Brown turned out to be the pilot for the movie. He was shown trying to fly the plane. It might not have looked exactly like Charlie Brown but it represented Charlie Brown to me in the dream.

      Then I was near the exit of this food store place. There were stacks of pictures on paper a little bigger than computer paper. Each picture was someone who had been murdered. Whoever had murdered the person was supposed to take the photograph of them. I wanted a giant stack of pictures to make drawings but didn't realize I had to have murdered the people to take them. (I haven't murdered any one!) So I had to give them back. They looked like women or rock stars. There was also a big comic book with pictures of an orange fiery character. I wanted to take the comic book with me, too. It looked cool. But it was just a prototype. I said, fine, I would just look up some screen shots on google images, and left without any pictures or comics.

      At some point there was this thing I did with hand movements. It was like I could move my hands in a figure 8 movement, and generate wind or energy. I thought I was working my arm muscles as well using air resistance. I'm not sure if this was at this time or earlier.

      Charlie Brown continued preparing for the flight, but there was something of how he wasn't strong enough. Then the dream showed Jimmy Neutron. Jimmy Neutron was training with an older scientist kind of man about how to use super strength. He didn't only have super brain power, he also had dormant super strength capacities, which had a specific name I forgot. Anyway it showed Jimmy Neutron playing in this video game view, with some kind of weights on his feet, and picking up heavy things. The weights were like big trapezoidal weights. At the end he grabbed a giant, heavy-looking key, and used it to open a door. This showed he had mastered his super strength.

      Then it was back to Charlie Brown in the plane. Now he had the strength, I think. He was older and had a pointy chin. The the dream showed that he was trying to resist his drug addiction. He kept saying he wasn't going to give in. Then, suddenly, he gave in, and smoked some kind of drug from a pipe. After he realized what he had done, he was like, oh no! But then began to suck his thumb. It seemed to me that the pressure of being an actor in this big movie and having to fly this big plane had become too much for him and he was having a mental break down.

      I remember after that, instead of being in a plane, it became the interior of a moving car. Six people were sitting shoulder to shoulder, some men and some women. They were all committed to doing some kind of really addictive and unhealthy drug together, while maintaining denial by only saying positive things. It made sense to me for a moment. Maybe if they could block out all "negative thoughts" (which would be thoughts that they should stop using, etc. which are actually important thoughts, just un-pleasant) then they would never have any problems. However at the same time, it showed that their supply of drugs had just run out.

      Their drug of choice was something in a can. It probably doesn't pertain to a type of drug from waking life, but was just something the dream created. They were desperately swiping the bottom of the can to try to get the last molecules of the drug. When it had finally run out, it showed that the group also had a hand gun. This was to commit suicide if anything went wrong! The woman on the far left (I was seeing this from accross from them so she was on my right) took the gun. Still smiling in denial, she put it into her mouth, to the back of her head, and pulled the trigger with next to no hesitation. Nothing really happened.

      Everyone else in the group kind of looked at her but didn't seem to care much. The woman on the far left held the gun and waited. "Nothing is happening! I feel pain, but I'm not dying!" she said. I figured she had missed the part of her brain which needed to be shot in order to kill her instantly. Ouch. (The rest of this paragraph is a little graphic so you might want to skip to the next paragraph, or read it, its up to you.) Well, blood began to pool in her mouth as she spoke. I couldn't watch. I could tell that the blood was going to basically pour out of her mouth as drool. It was dark red.

      "Can one of you please shoot me again so I die?" she asked. There was some pain in her voice but she also sounded like she was on drugs. I can't think of the word for her tone of voice but it was like when women go, "Oh, my gawsh, like, totally!" (I don't mean to be misogynistic, I am just trying to describe it.)

      Those dreams took a little over an hour to type. In the end I had to leave some as short hand notes until the next morning. If I am up for writing the dreams right after having them I do it. But this time I was so tired and needed to RBFA.

      ---------------------------------

      6:54 A M: I slept and didn't have many dreams. I just remember being at my Nana's. I went downstairs to get some food but saw that Nana was smoking. So I ran back upstairs to avoid the smoke. I brought a little pot of vegetables with me, thinking it was Kale. I ran back to my Nana's room and Aunt C was there. It turned out what I had grabbed was a little pot of green lettuce or cabbage. More like cabbage. It was supposed to be for Aunt C, but I had grabbed the wrong vegetable. She said it was okay, suggesting she didn't really need it. But I felt so bad that I ran back down the hall way to go down stairs. And in doing so, accidentally spilled it all over the floor. I felt pretty bad about that.

      I forgot what else happened there. The only other thing I remember is I might have woken up to the image of a cartoon fist coming at my face. Not sure why I think that.

      I probably had other dreams, but didn't remember them. It's funny because lately I remember most of my dreams between 12 and 5 A M. If I sleep after 5 A M it usually doesn't contain as many dreams, or not as many I remember. Where as I always heard there would be the most REM in the latest sleep cycles.

      Well, thats all for today. I feel pretty well rested. I think it was about 8 hours total sleep.
      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
    12. 18-05-28 Pure Fear, Lots of Knives

      by , 05-28-2018 at 06:52 PM
      I woke up from one dream because I was experiencing pure terror. I tried to 'get back' to where I was, but to get there I had to go through a sequence of events (I'd passed through before) that were terrifying. I once again woke up because I couldn't deal with the fear. It literally made me breathe heavily and sweat. Scary stuff.

      I found myself in either a movie theater or opera hall, seated somewhere in the crowd (section on the left). Then someone stabbed a blonde woman. Possibly the performer? Then a lot of people everywhere (almost everybody) pulled knives and attacked the same victim. I think the victim had done something to them, and they were taking their collective revenge. I was being blocked from escaping by a big dude (also armed with a knife). I was too scared to fight (too many enemies, all armed with knives while I have nothing) but I felt like their problem wasn't with me anyway, so doing nothing was the wisest course of action.
      Tags: fear, knives
      Categories
      non-lucid
    13. 4,226 Words - selected parts in bold

      by , 05-28-2018 at 04:49 PM
      7:44 pm closing computer for bed.
      4226 words

      --------------------------------

      12:45 AM: So this has been my usual sleep, about 4 hours so far. And I had some dreams. Earlier dreams involved N H and M R. I forgot what. then there was something about G F and K F and how it was after school. And how we could go to a pool. I wanted to go swim but was worried I hadn't eaten enough. We talked about going for a swim then eating after.

      There was more stuff I forgot. But one was about being in this water slide thing. And there were apples or slices of pizza or some food. Some of it belonged to each individual. I think I was passing some peoples apples or whatever food it was to them.

      Then I remember it being something about a gym. There were a list of pod casts, one being about something, sleep, and something else, and many other podcasts. There may have been some weight lifting component. I remember some toys J G was trying to sell. He was very push and didn't let the other sales person talk. One was a Tigger robot kind of toy. I forgot the other. But I remember the big shelf of toys.

      There might have been a Pokemon game earlier now that I think of it. Not sure.

      Anyway after that, I remember a monopoly card hanging on the wall. Like the poster board ones that indicate each property a person could own. These had red in their color on the top and I think they said "CIRCUMCISION HURTS". However they might have said something else about circumcision. Anyway, I felt triggered, and said to the sales people about how circumcision (MGM) was bad.

      One of the sales people (not J G) said something mean to me. And some other mean things to me. Both him and J G tried to minimize the harms of MGM and I was initially angry. But then I realized that their insults to me were not hurting my feelings one bit. It was really amazing. I told them, "You, know it's amazing. Its like your insults are not even touching me." I didn't know it was a dream either, so it was really phenomenal. "It's like I'm doing such important work here (intactivism) that your mean words can't touch me."

      After that the insults ended, and it kind of shifted. B D was there coloring. I had a piece of paper and wanted to color with silver and gold colored pencils. My seat was at the head of the table. B D was to my left. Someone else was to my right. There wasn't a lot of room in front of my seat.

      Eventually, P S and maybe another woman came by, and wanted to sit down. There were two chairs and we wondered which to put at the head of the table, for the woman to sit down. (I seemed to be giving up my seat.) So P S told us that the one chair was more comfortable and we should use that. But I realized he was saying that so that we could use the less comfortable chair! And leave the comfortable one for him. Ha! One chair had cushioned arm rest things. They both had some padding. I was also thinking of folding my paper so that it fit in a tiny spot of table between B D and the other person's binder.

      I remember something about a spiritual teacher. A woman like M or R (thin, middle-aged, greyish blonde hair, short in stature) was saying how she listened to a spiritual teacher (someone like Eckhart Tolle) and he said she would have to go to work and actually work all day. Not have any side conversations. Not be distracted on the computer, social media, etc. Just work. This idea seemed preposterous and she laughed with everyone else.

      (I just remembered a cat. Maybe there was a cat at some point in the dreams.)

      Then I was putting contacts into my phone. I was going to write "Good Guy 1", "Good Guy 2", etc. Because it was for a team. One was R K. I might have been thinking of just putting a number as their name, like, "1", "2", "3", etc. But what if someone checked how I input them? It would seem too impersonal. I remember the back space key being in a random spot on the 3rd page of characters and I had to scroll to that.

      Then there was something with me in front of a box. And something about how a formal was coming up soon. I was looking through this box. Maybe there was a mirror, and other stuff. C P and G W seemed to be hovering around me. It occurred to me that they must be hoping I ask them out as a date to the formal. I didn't really want to go with either of them, since I wasn't that attracted to them, and I was just going to go alone. But I tried to be nice. And had to get changed.

      I went home, which was instant, I don't remember traveling. There were all these shelves of old books. I realized that everyone there would have smart phones with internet, so there was no need for me to bring a little hand held dictionary. It said something with the word "toe" on the cover which I would have felt embarrassed about if I'd brought it. The cover was kind of tattered.

      I was wearing gym shorts and a regular T-shirt. Not sure what I'd wear for the formal. Dad came in and I got an uncomfortable vibe. He had on a white button down shirt and khaki pants. He told me about how he asked a college counselor to give him the good schools to go to. And how he wouldn't settle for certain schools, listing them off with disregard. He eventually named the school he did go to and his accomplishments very pridefully. I sat in an armchair, sinking into it as I thought of what to wear. Maybe a button down shirt like Dad's. I was slowly realizing I couldn't go to a formal in gym shorts and a T shirt.

      Dad's speech reached a peak. "I worked and worked and worked and gave money to you, your mom, your sister, your mom, your mom, your sister, your sister, you, your mom, you, you, and now, you have no time for me!" And he was adjusting his pants which had become puffy camoflauge-designed canvas material kind of pants. "Now I'd like you to get your fist out of my face!" He said, breaking into tears. He had one hand in the air, open, but clenched in a way, like he was rock climbing, with no rock there. Right after he said that, I found myself in my physical bed (woke up) surprised that I wouldn't make it to the formal.

      It was such an intense ending that I woke right up and recalled it so vividly. Now that I've written it all, I will go back to bed. I have some R L S so I will do some exercises for that and hopefully get back to sleep shortly.

      ---------------------------------

      4:54 A M: I definitely slept a couple hours there and had a lot of RBFA. But I have a lot of the dream memories in mind, so I'll write them.

      First, I remember walking around the neighborhood. I had in mind one of those blocks to drive the car up on to for changing the oil. The triangular ramp things. A grey one. I couldn't find it, but there was a spoiler thing built into this Scion kind of car that came off and might look like one. I went to remove it and noticed a bunch of dark colored pick-up trucks. 'Okay, maybe I'll leave it,' I thought. (I think)

      Then I was on a school bus. I don't remember everything that happened but I am pretty sure that I had the grey ramp thing, a back pack, and some other stuff. The bus driver got mad at me because when my stop came, I couldn't get off the bus. I was still looking for my stuff. but the bus driver was mad and they just drove away from my stop without giving me the time.

      I had fallen asleep by trying to use the counting method but I don't remember getting past 70 or so. Oh, I think I had a chance to stay still at one point but it was too uncomfortable (urge surge) and I moved and broke it. I'm sure it would have passed if I had stayed still though, and I'd have dropped in deeper. I made it through some other intense rollover signals, but that one, I just must have been out of mental energy.

      So I found myself driving up the road by the campus of the college I went to. In my Mustang. I was pulled over. For some reason my eyes wouldn't open much. The police officer reminded me of Officer S. I had on my orange glasses. Then Officer S left and another officer (I'll call him Officer B but I don't know his name) came to my car.

      They had been telling me that my steering wheel was too far ahead. And that my steering wheel should be closer to my chest. So I did a joke where I pressed the steering wheel button to push it towards me, and then ended up having the whole thing push me all the way to the back seat. Officer B was mad. I told him it was just a joke, but he said it wasn't funny. I always get triggered by people with no sense of humor. They're so unreasonable.

      Then, I was in my back seat, and all these young kids came in the car. They bumped into me and stuff. I wanted to move but I thought the kids would have to leave my car, since I didn't know them.

      All the kids were wearing a similar outfit. Eventually, they must have left. Now I have some mental blank spots. I remember really needing a bathroom though, and none were available. I was getting mad. All the stalls were taken but I only needed to go #1 anyway. I found a stall with a toilet and a urinal and went to the urinal. The urinal was like one of those garbage cans thats built into the wall, except lower. It was already full of pee though. I tried to urinate anyway because I didn't care, and wound up urinating on my shoes.

      There hadn't been a door on this stall. But I figured it didn't matter. Also, everything was really gross. I had my hand up against the stall at one point, holding it. Then I felt some sharp claws dig into both my wrists and grab me from behind. This caused me some panic. It felt very physical.

      Whatever it was, it brought me out of the dream, and into my bed. It continued to hold me from behind, but now I only felt the sharp grip on my right wrist, and the grip on my left wrist wasn't sharp. I was in some sleep paralysis but was able to say, "Stop!" and then there was some silence while it continued holding me. It was very interesting when it replied to me, "Stop!" a bit louder.

      I said, "Why are you doing this to me? Please don't do this." But I also alternated between panic and then remembering to relax because it was just sleep paralysis.

      It brought me into a dream in which I was lucid at the onset. I turned around and looked at it. It was kind of shaped like a bowling pin, with blue, black and yellow. Maybe I will draw it. It had one eye at the top of the bowling pin.

      Another character who was also a similar shape told me I can't look behind me. That character will be behind me but I can't look behind me. I'm not allowed to look at it. If I do see it, I have to only look at its necklace which had a golden thing on it.

      I'm going to call the bowling pin guy "Pin" for now. So after that, we all sat on a couch. This felt like a very profound dream. I was a thin couch at first. There was someone, i think an old woman, to my left. We held hands. Then someone sat to her left. More people came, and they all squeezed in to the furthest seat on the left. The couch continued to stretch. I was surprised at one point to see that C S, E S, and I S.

      So, then more people joined. I asked the person next to me, "Are they all lucid, too?" And they said yes. I decided to cast a spell to extend the couch to my right. There were some wooden latch things that had to come apart but it worked. I felt cool about using a spell. I think more people sat down after that.

      "Pin" was up front now, going to teach us something. I think it was "Pin" or maybe it was the other bowling pin character, but not "Pin". (I'll have to try to break the rules and look for "Pin" in future dreams.) Anyway, I guess I woke up. This one was very lucid. But it wasn't a clear point to me where I woke up. At some point, I was awake, and had to go through some effort to think of the dream again.


      Eventually, as I thought through it, I fell asleep. (RBFA) There were some various parts to this. I'll try to put them in order.

      I remember something of trying to dream journal everything. And being in a class run by B D. Apparently he had gained a school position and everyone who graduated 10 years ago had to come take a test. His test was designed to kind of make people feel their life hadn't worked out. One of the questions was "Which of your expectations were not fulfilled" or something like that.

      So I saw through his plan. I was able to try to write the answers I felt good about.

      I remember some kind of thing in a cafeteria. Some kind of graphic design thing that is on the TOTT (OTTOTT?) but then I remember dream journaling, and seeing B W. I had a very complex idea of a dream journal in my mind, complete with a lot of drawings. But that was overwhelming me so I decided it was okay just to type it out in a simpler fashion.

      there was a part where I was on a roof. And I remember going up and down some stairs. Its kinda vague to me. I remember seeing this house with siding all around it. Then G M came out of there and sneezed. I said bless you. He rubbed his sneeze on me. I was not mean to him about it but kind of wondered why he thought that was okay. It got on my beard. Then I was driving around and I remember seeing this big orange house with brown doors at the T in the road I had got to. Thinking to myself about forgiveness. Forgiving others, forgiving myself, being forgiven, it was annoying me because they always emphasized forgiving others or being forgiven by others. Where as I thought that being able to forgive one's self should come first.

      I also remember finding myself in a cafeteria. Mom, dad and my sister were there. Eventually I went over and joined them. And had some french fries or something. This part is kinda vague.

      I remember another part of walking around the house at my parents old place. There were kids playing next door and they talked to me from over the fence. I forgot what they said, or I said.

      There was something about a frog and a rabbit running around. I had put each one in its own box for a day for some reason. This seemed cruel to me and I let it out. They pooped everywhere once they got out. It was human-size poops too.

      Then there was a girl who was trying to clean up after them. The rabbit's poop must have been tan because she had a bunch of that that she was cleaning. I remember in cleaning it, she had also left a mess, which I then tried to clean up after her.

      We got transported to a restaurant job kind of thing. I was at the front, setting this window that had fallen off. I had to reset all the metal rods and stuff. I remember just trying to open it, and the window panels just fell out of the wall. There was an electronic device that plugged into some metal rods. That was all the way in front of the restaurant.

      I felt connected to the girl, like I had a crush on her. There was a presentation starting. I was on staff there. I ran to the back of the room where I could see the presentations. I almost took the seat next to the girl but hesitated and ran and even slid on the floor to stand against the wall. I was like half-way in the chair near her when i changed my mind. Maybe I thought it was too bold of a move to sit near someone I liked. So I found myself standing between two table or counter top things. Standing made sense to me because I was a bus boy there anyway.

      So I looked ahead and there was some kind of presentation going on. It seemed to be a carry over of characters from previous scenes.

      So I've woken up from those and recalled what I could. I still feel sleepy and will try to sleep one more time.

      ---------------------------------

      7:18 A M: I had more dreams. Glad that I slept some more. I was in some sort of cafeteria thing.

      There was some stuff I forgot. But there was also some stuff about being signed on to a computer program. And the guy didn't want me to log out. I was saying some stuff, something angry, and he told the guy next to him to just breathe. So he did unilateral nostril breathing. I logged out of that program.


      I noticed I was still logged in to another program, too. I had to scroll around the screen a lot to log out of that one. But when I got out, I saw this really cool graphic of a Scizor. It was like the transition from being in that program to another. It spun and there was a ripple affect, with a lot of red and silver.

      I forgot all of what was going on. But, I got on this elevator thing. The first time, I think I was in a robot suit. I got in and it said help was needed on the fifth floor, so I went to the fifth floor. When I got out there were all these coolers full of mussels (black shell fish) and canned beverages. I pushed them out and found that they had to be pushed around a ramp that twisted around the outside of the building. Some of them fell over the edge but I was able to get most of them around. By the time I got to the bottom, it was a whole truck load. I figured if I'd brought it to the wrong place we could always bring it back up on the elevator.

      Then I walked around some more, and we had to go back in the building. Back in the elevator. This time with a few people. A woman was examining all these beads on the ground. She said we'd be better off leaving them for when the owners come to get them.

      The elevator door was about to close. Suddenly the woman said that if it turned red, we better all get out. Sure enough, it turned all read. Like night mode on a computer but with red tint and the black would be red.

      She ran out of there and I managed to just make it, too. I looked back and the elevator was lit up white. The other guys had been stuck in there. Not sure if they would be okay. It seemed to be because of their robot suits.

      I followed the woman around the building and saw her getting into this car with no windows. It turned out to be cushioned. I don't think there was a roof but the doors went up a few feet over out heads. it was a gold colored car with a beige interior and very soft. There was one more person in the back seat. We were safe there.

      Then I woke up.
      I'll try to sleep some more because I feel sleepy enough.

      ---------------------------------

      Well, I ended up realizing W A was at 7:30, so I went to that meeting. I thought I'd let myself sleep while I listened but it didn't work. Oh well, I think I got 8-9 hours of sleep anyway.
    14. 5/28/2018

      by , 05-28-2018 at 04:26 PM
      Dream 1:
      I was swimming in murky, deep green water at the beach. It was overcast and cold, with grey clouds and no sun. Morgan, Isabella, Sam, and the twins were there. They were laughing about something and discussing some object I’ve since forgotten, but I was more concerned by the fact that I could see hundreds of bodies on the ocean floor when I dipped my head beneath the waves.

      Dream 2:
      On a lawn, there was a canopy tent put up and with a blanket under it, like on Founder’s Day. We were having a picnic. Sam sat on the ground next to me, and Isabella sat in a chair next to the twins. I had brought lemonade, but I forgot the fruit I was supposed to bring. Sam asked how I could remember the lemonade but forget the fruit. The conversation somehow got to my hair, and Sam told Isabella to dye it blue. She did, but halfway through she said “oh no”and threw the dye away. I asked why and she said she’d accidentally made it purple, but my hair was blue.
      I then realized I had a flight that I had to be at at 11:33. I quickly tried to finish a plate of pasta and some salad that hadn’t been there before, and then I went to go find my boyfriend and say goodbye before I left. I found him at a school playing soccer with Jan and Lauren. I ran over to him and gave him a hug and said goodbye, and he kissed me on the cheek.
      Then I realized my flight was a virtual flight of some sort, and I had missed it, but there would be another one soon.

      Fragment:
      I was in a very weird high tech shower, which I was trying to figure out. There were lots of curtains and smaller subunits with jets and pools of water. Before I could figure it out, I had to go.

      Dream 3:
      Franci and Helen were telling me I had to go to the hospital for my own good. I was reluctant to go. I said I wanted to take a shower before I left. They told me to pack clean clothes and to make sure I got a good roommate. I said I’d ask for a single room.
      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    15. 4,276 words - Selected part in bold

      by , 05-27-2018 at 07:51 PM
      I went to bed around 7:30, asleep by 8. Now, its 12:25AM, so I got 3-4 hours of sleep.

      I laid back down and almost let these be an RBFA, just because I felt so tird. But as I laid there, I was able to recall more and more, and they were very profound. I ended up recalling them and stillbeing awake, so I came to write after all.

      The earliest part I remember (and there were more than this) was being at the local food store. I think I worked there but might have just been a customer. The manager, or some other guy, was throwing out a bunch of chicken in the dumpster. I wanted to take some of that chicken instead of buying next chicken to save money and stuff like that. I think I felt guilty or had to ask someone.

      There might have been some parts with waiting on line at the grocery check-out there.

      Then, I remember vaguely, some stuff with some people from school. We were driving down B Avenue and then around the bend. As I went under the lights, I was thinking of, or seeing, a Pokemon game. It was showing how there were 3 to 6 different versions, and each one had different Pokemon. The version I was looking at seemed perfect. It seemed to have all my favorite Pokemon.

      So I drove down that main road and towards the school. Talking about directions with someone else in the car. To the right there was a road that led to B V. I explained to the passenger how I always ignore the signs to B V, and don't go there. (Was I the passenger or the driver?)

      Then I drove by the school and up to that T in the road. Going right would take me to B V (I think) and going diagonal right would take me into this golf course or resort area with a big gate. (It was like the arrangement at the T in the road from waking life, but with some reversals.)

      First I drove to the right, but got nowhere, and looped back around to the T in the road again. This time I went to the diagonal right. People were running chain saws to cut down trees. We got our car to one of the trees. maybe it was our job to cut it before we could pass. My normal waking life thoughts against cutting trees didn't seem to kick in.

      When the people ahead of us were done cutting, they left. We were left with this tree and a little Scion type of car in front of it. Maybe to haul the tree away.

      We got into the little Scion type of car, and tried to turn it on. The key wouldn't start. There was some fear or apprehension building about needing to get out of there. Maybe bad spirits. When we tried to turn the ignition on, it didn't work. Someone held the key all the way turned, and kept turning the engine, and I was afraid it would blow up. The radio began to show some different words on the LCD display, which had to do with the car not turning on, and being jammed.

      Then, we started to hear a voice, or feel a prescence. Something about "Kuralin Goku" (I think Kuralin is Japanese for Krillin but in this case, it didn't mean that, it was more like another version of Goku) appearing. He was saying how he was blocking the energy of the bad spirits, but it took him so much energy to do so, that it was almost ironic. There was something like me feeling a packet of Retainer Brite tablets and ripping off a little corner. Something with a little Gohan character being really eager to talk to this "Kuralin Goku" character. Vegeta was also there, and was astounded. Regular Goku was there too.

      Then the dream unfolded a piece of paper and showed "Kuralin Goku". He had a big neck and maybe golden ear rings. Also his face looked kind of like Vegeta. It was saying how he would become Green Goku, and I imagined Regular Goku fighting and winning against Green Goku, and gaining the power.

      After a while of that, there was this motorcycle guy who was like, "Stop all this! Stop all this!" He just couldn't take it any more and thought it was all nonsense. His face showed on two panels, exclaiming that this had to end and we had to go, basically. So it ended and I think we left.

      Then the dream played some music. There was one song I don't remember. There was another song that was kind of like Bon Iver. The guys were playing a gentle keyboard, and then one vocalist was singing gently. I forgot the exact words but the music video showed a religious text opening up. So it was religious music. It showed various verses of the religious text.

      One caption said something like, "2325 helps". 2325 was a verse in there. So it showed a bunch of verses side by side. Also the song seemed to be about his mom's passing.

      Kind of simultaneously, I was in my room, watching something on T V. (In my parents old house) It was becoming kind of violent or scary and I wanted to turn it off. No problem all I had to do was turn it off. Except my sister's T V was playing something violent and loud in her room. I wanted to ask her to turn it down or off, too. And went to the bathroom.

      In there I was thinking of what I saw in one of the verses of the religious text. It was mentioning different forms of anger. Like "Anger: ______" (fill in the blank). There were lots of other varieties of anger listed but the one I remember happens to be "Anger: Demonic". Anyway as I was in the bathroom there, I thought of the possibility of making my own movie or anime using all the variations of all the emotions listed.

      There was some kind of scary wiry or sinewy creature on one of the movies that played.

      Okay, that's nice to have that all written. I feel like I won't fall back asleep easily. But anyway I guess I'll do some LD reading until I get sleepy.

      ---------------------------------

      cool! Just did a bunch of reading on r/luciddreaming. That's a very active forum. Now I feel sleepy enough to sleep again. (Its 1:45 AM... Wow I do 2 hr WBTBs!)

      --------------------------------

      Now it's 3:06 AM so I only slept 45 minutes or so, putting me at 4-5 hours.

      After reading r/luciddreaming I was inspired by some threads to try the counting method. I laid down and at first was annoyed by my fidgeting. But started to count, "1, I am breathing in, I am dreaming... 1, I am breathing out, I am dreaming... 2, I am breathing in, I am dreaming..." (and on and on, I actually got to the 70s and maybe even the 100s) Focusing on that mantra seemed to get me towards a state where I was dropping out of consciousness but would re-gain it. I remember beginning to get dream flashes of a red fence going into a bush. Something white... That I forgot. (TOTT) And also some gold text on a black back ground with words I was trying really hard to keep a hold of in my head, but don't remember now.

      I had some non-lucids in the beginning, then I would wake back up and recall the dream and resume counting. One involved being at my current house. There was a giant squirrel in the drive way. I was like "Wow, giant squirrel!" And then it scurried away. It kinda scared me and through dream logic I made sense of why squirrels can be that big. My sister was out there with me. There was a bush in the front of the driveway. I remember something about there being a blanket in the bush that I could sleep in, but there was a mole in it. And something about it being wet.

      There was also a part in my Nana's room where I had to hide by Nana's fire place, behind a chair. Then, I was out of hiding, but the dog was drawing attention over to the fire place. I had to admit to my sister I had hid by the fire place. (Although I'm not sure why I hid.)

      Then I think I had my first lucidity where I found myself in my room, and stood up in bed. (Might have been separation.) I looked around, and saw it dimly lit in my room. I wasn't sure if I had really stood up. I dove back into bed and landed right on my neck. Luckily, it was a dream, and I just returned to the void. I must have pretty much known it was a dream.

      I also remember being in my room at another point, lucid.

      In my room I managed to pull off my eye cover and then get it to be brighter. It is very often I dream I'm wearing an eye mask, and have to take it off in order to see more clearly. I remember on the wall by my desk, where my grid of photos is, I had a poster of some actor with multi-colored pixelation. Blue, neon green and neon red/pinkish color. It was groovy. I was trying to put that up.

      There might have been some more words I was reading. One of the words was so interesting, starting with the letter 'a', but I lost it.

      There might have been another scene. It feels like something is there but I can't get to it. Maybe it wasn't, though.

      This next scene was really fun. I found myself walking towards a brick building. I had just come back from a walk in the woods. The sky was bright blue. It was sunny. I saw some kids wearing black up ahead.

      Realizing that I was in public now, not just the woods, I went to put my shirt on. Then I realized it was a dream just by the fact that I had been falling asleep consciously enough. To test it, I jumped up, and found myself flying. (That's how I tested most of my dreams in this sequence, and when I succeeded in flying, it was a great feeling!)

      I figured I would land on the roof of the building. The sky was bright blue. I heard 2 groups of kids on the ground going, "Wow! How did you learn to do that?" The clouds were a mix of puffy white ones, and then these square outlines. "Lucid dreaming!" I yelled out in return and it sounded through the whole sky.

      Having made it above the roof, I let myself fall. I was going to land on the roof on my back. I felt the fear of the pain of colliding with the roof but realized it was just a dream. I even heard of someone feeling ecstatic from hitting the ground after a long fall. So I just spread my arms out and relaxed, and when I collided with the roof, I woke up. It felt really cool and not painful at all.


      There was another part in being lucid in my room, and trying to manifest something. When I awoke in my bed, I realized I could have probably manifested it if I'd tried to manifest it behind my room door. But that was after I'd woken up.

      The last dream I had was interesting. Got up from bed again, pretty sure it was a dream. It was close, though. My chair was right where it would be in waking life. I thought of tipping it over but I was like, "Wait, if its waking life I don't want to make a mess." I walked accross the room and saw a red square on the wall, dimly lit. Other than that there wasn't much light in the room. I felt it, and it felt like I had hung up a Charizard card on the wall. 'Yep, this is just like waking life,' I thought. (It really isn't there in waking life.)

      I started to feel the wall and think that I had gotten up physically. Before I could do a finger palm test, I saw that the door to my room (I was in the corner by the door) began to be sucked into the corner of the room. 'Oh! It IS a dream!' I thought.

      Feeling some fear, I turned around. Maybe someone was coming to battle me! There was an air conditioner in the middle of the room, running. I could feel the cool air coming out. I think I tried again to manifest something I wanted, but it didn't work. I jumped 5 or 6 feet up on top of the air conditioner (it was on a table) and then jumped from there up through my ceiling. I passed through it fairly well. (Didn't remember to practice walking through walls much though as I was too pre-occupied with manifesting something else, which I really didn't need to, and wouldn't have been as constructive.)

      At first I got stuck in the ceiling. But then I thought, 'No. this dream isn't ending.' and pulled myself through. I found myself in a computer lab with lots of computers. I flew to see what was on them.

      This dream made me think of how I want to use my lucid dream time more constructively. Anyway I woke up from that last part and thought it through. My memory was pretty thorough. Some details continued to trickle into my mind as I wrote. I'm really happy with the counting technique and will try again next time, if I can muster the concentration skills.

      Oh! I just remembered. I actually did try charging my hands to form a super-saiyan-style aura, but didn't get it.

      ---------------------------------

      Ok, wasn't sleepy yet, so read more r/luciddreaming. Now its 4:34 and I feel tired again. Back to bed!

      ---------------------------------

      Now it's 8:03 AM. I probably got another 2-3 hours of sleep putting me at 6-7 total. Lot of RBFA but intentionally.

      The earliest thing I remember is a dream of a guy who ate chocolate. Then he was concerned about having eaten the chocolate, and worried about his health.

      I remember a part where I was on a lucid dreaming sub-reddit. Only, it was much slower. It was called r/deepluciddreaming but seemed connected to World of Lucid Dreaming Forum so I thought of Dr. Clare Johnson. There was some kind of wild hologram thing that appeared at the bottom. Maybe I was lucid in these early ones.

      I think the next dream was of riding on this raft thing. But a Jamaican guy was making fun of me. He was with his family. Something about riding the raft, he made fun of me for. Also, I was going over a word document, and inserting a colorful picture. But someone was making fun of me for that. Meanwhile they were saying all this stuff about conspiracy theories and I never once mocked them (not that I would) but I explained to them how I hoped for the same courtesy.

      The picture I was using got too big for the word document and I couldn't get rid of it. It broke into parts when I tried to highlight it. My Dad came by and commented on the picture of several Pokemon standing in a pyramid. The colors were inverted on my monitor.

      Then I guess next was the part of me parking my Mustang in the parking space somewhere foreign. I remember it was almost out of gas, and I watched the gas meter go all up and down after I started it up until it settled on a little less than a quarter full. I was going to leave it there to fly home or something because it was a foreign place. I think an Eastern European place.

      Next I was walking by some docks with boats. My fore-head was all crusty and I had to rub it off. This was one of those moments when it was more clear I thought I was in waking life, not a dream. Anyway I walked by some women loading a boat. Then into this auditorium place. it was very luxurious, for wealthy people, but I had no need to be there.

      Suddenly G A walked by me. I was pretty surprised to see him even though he would be one of the wealthy people at a place like this. I think we talked for a moment. Then I got to a room where several family members were distributed into different corners of the room. One was the beer corner with Uncle M and Dad, i think. One was the liquor corner with some relatives who drank liquor. And some others. I remember actually sipping a tiny bit of liquor through a tiny straw. 'What am I doing? I'm losing my sobriety count!' I thought, as I flipped a bottle cap in one hand.

      Then I walked around and got to this building. There was something going on with several textbooks and my sister was there. I read the books in a funny voice.

      So there was a part after reading the books where I thought I was in waking life at that point, but the other dream about drinking had been a dream. (What's that called? When you're still dreaming, and not lucid, but you realize the previous dream was a dream?) Anyway I was sharing on a meeting about how I could become lucid during those dreams. After me I was surprised to hear a woman named Marietta (no waking life correspondence) begin to proclaim how it was possible to get lucid in a dream using this beverage. It was a colored beverage, like kool-aid in a baby bottle. It's color was off, but could be restored by shaking it up. Because the color was stored or absorbed into the bottle cap thing. So she shook them all up and then they were perfect.

      After that, I remember walking through the Arboretum, on another phone meeting. Or thinking about how on a previous meeting, someone had said that no one could talk about suicide any more. This didn't bother me. But someone else objected, saying that it was important for someone to get support if they needed to talk about that. What bothered me was that someone suggested lucid dreaming not be allowed to be discussed. Since I had brought it up, more people brought it up, too. And it was taking over the meeting focus while not being as directly related. I could understand that but wasn't happy with it.

      At the arboretum, instead of green leaves, all the trees had white flowers. And all the ground had white flowers and white flower petals. It was kinda cool.

      I vaguely remembered something from being at the shower at my parents old house. Not a very clear memory, though.

      So, that was it! It was a good move to just stay on r/luciddreaming until I felt sleepy again.