non-lucid

I watched a girl ride a very fast and large rollercoaster. Sometimes I was her. A lot of people were watching. The ride went forwards and backwards but she wasn't scared. Alicia texted me pictures of belly dance costumes that she was thinking about getting. I was annoyed.

I am pregnant and going into labor. I am at a hospital and they start preparing me. They do a small procedure and give me a little wand thing. If I need to call for the nurse I’m supposed to put that on my privates and press a button. I try and it shocks me so I scream. I’m still slightly sedated. A dream friend takes me to the hospital on a small watercraft. It’s night time but I see a whale jump in the distance. I tell her and she says “Isn’t this such a cool place?” We get to the shore where T.A. and some of his friends lead the way to the hospital. One friend is racist and keeps trying to instigate fights. He asks me if I ever dislike or make fun of his people just because. I tell him no. T.A. tells him to stop. We arrive at the west side hospital where a lot of people are there to meet me. I see Beyonce and she does not look perfect like the media presents her, she looks very disappointing with a belly, uneven complexion, and hooked nose. There’s a little girl eating ice cream. Her pupils are dilated and she looks dazed. I tell her that if she eats too much ice cream she has to go home because labor hurts really bad and I can’t have her around me if she has a sugar high. Lani NS and Kristy S. are there. The hospital looks different than I remember. I check in at the nurses station. It's one of the L&D nurses from D's work who remembers me. From the lobby I hear that racist guy getting into a fight with Lani who wrote a book that he found offensive. I’m not sure where my room is because my name is on the board for all floors. I check each floor just in case. I end up wandering into the waiting room and asking if the hospital has been renovated because it looks different than I remember. They say it has. I’m relieved, I like it better this way. I squeeze past some nurses giving report and end up getting lost near a file room and engine room. People with badges help me out. There are so many men in the hallway. I’m not in any pain right now. The clock says 6. I know that my labor is going to be one of the very long ones; perhaps 12, 24, or even 48 hours. It makes me nervous. I get back to my room and start panicking. How did this happen? How is this real life? This wasn’t planned. Why did I ever think this was a good idea to go through with? I have a vague memory of telling my husband that I felt like I needed to keep the baby and he told me that I was responsible for it completely. It’s too late to do anything about it now. I’m so scared of motherhood and of the pain of labor. I’m not allowed to have an epidural. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it. I have a dream within a dream of myself walking into my hospital room and seeing me there laying with my new baby and another woman on a large bed straight ahead. It felt ominous and dark. The dream ended and I called my husband. I could hear him approaching the room so I hung up. He was irritated that I tried to call him, he’s clearly nervous as well. His eyebrows looks different, smaller, shaped, and lighter. He brings me a coin bra that I admire. I ask if it’s for me, he says yes, and I light up. Kristy comes in and they start talking in another language that they learned in the military. Kirsty has improved her skills at it. It goes on for a long time and they are acting quite flirty with each other.

So today (last night more accurately.) I began actual formal meditations again. Seeing as in my dream journal I use an orange-blue scale with the color gradation in-between representing different phases between lucidity and non lucidity, it seems logical that meditation is more lucid than a lucid dream or any regular thoughts. Therefore I a considering that on any chance I include my meditated thoughts with my dream journals, something I may begin to do, along with the star rankings. I will probably not post a lot of meditations as I think those are personal. (The same reason I don't post all my dreams. ) But when I do, I will spoiler tag meditations since most people probably won't care to read them.

Spoiler for Meditation 3:

Well they say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting that you will get a different result. Well I guess I'm insane then because I'm retrying meditation even though last time it resulted in me losing dream recall and dropping my lucidity rate rather than increasing it like I expected. But meditation helps me to get my thoughts in order and keeps me from feeling scatterbrained. So I'm getting back into it anyway, if not for the sake of lucid dreaming, then at the very least I can get my ducks in a row in waking life.

It's final exams week and arguably an extremely bad time to try and kick of any sort of serious lucid dreaming routine even if I do keep the stress low by properly studying and the likes, so I shouldn't consider anything serious until after that is over. But at the very least I can begin dream journaling and building up my dream recall a little more. After all recalling nonlucid dreams is a lot better and if I do come up with a motivating idea or way that I might want to try and approach this, I wont have to worry about recall and can just hit the ground running.

I've been thinking about what a chat user. (I believe it was MadMonkey) said to me, that all the really great lucid dreamers have two things in common; that they use (was it either DILD or ADA or something like that?) Maybe I can send him a PM... ; [Edit] That was Man of Shred and he said it in a comment and it was DILD [/edit] and they started young. I formally started lucid dreaming right around the time I turned 14. Not as young as some people, but at least I'm not trying to start NOW. Though it's fun to fantasize how things would have played out differently getting the presumably godlike head-start those of you who started when you were still in grade school have, I'll have to accept the fact that I can't really change that. But I suppose there's no real reason to attempt to unpack something one person said in chat so thoroughly, since I've gotten countless bits of advice on how to become a master LDer.

One thing that crosses my mind is an idea that I often put forward is how everyone's mind functions differently and techniques that work well for one person may not necessarily work well for others. Hence why everyone does things a little differently and I often take techniques with a grain of salt. Whether that also means I'm closing out particularly effective techniques simply because I decide they won't work for me is difficult to say, as I've always tried to give suggestions a fair trial.

-+-

There's something else on my mind. I've been considering how my dreams have changed lately, and I know I've talked about this before. Nonlucid dreams feel more lucid, like I'm always by default at layer 0. I've talked a lot about how a lot of really intense nonlucid dreams feel dulled out because I have a vauge awareness that what is happening is not really, but don't really break through and become lucid. In some sense I feel like after six years, even my scattered and non-unified efforts have had an effect on my dreams, shifting the entire spectrum of nonlucids a little bit lucid. Meanwhile, lucid dreams have become less clear and looking through my most recent few pages of DJ entries I can find quite a few places where the nonlucid lack of logic is infiltrating and intermingling with lucid logic, and a few places where I used the blue "Lucid color" where things should have actually been teal or green. It's almost as though nonlucid dreams are becoming more lucid and lucid dreams are becoming more nonlucid, and over the past few years the two have slowly become meshed together until now, like my past two entries, I'm semi lucid and constantly alternating my state between the two. This is what makes me feel like lucidity is a choice rather than a discovery. I sort of relate it to a space mission to colonize the moon. (In fact I relate lucid dreaming to space travel a lot.) The first time you do it, it's a big deal, and you're just happy to be there. But once you've been to the moon a couple times you want to start doing more with being there. You want to bring things with you, go to specific places and maybe establish your presence there. Getting to the moon is now no longer a question of "can I" but, how do we get the time, energy, and people to fly the rocket that we know works because we've done it two dozen times.

Okay maybe not a great example; I feel like I'm digressing. But it was this logic, that I need to just 'power up' these semi-lucids and layer 0's is what led me to want to meditate. If I can be more focused and alert, I can break through and become fully lucid in these situations, hence why meditation is key. But maybe I need to do more mindfulness oriented meditation and less subject oriented ones for it to work. Though it's that same logic that failed last time despite me having so much confidence in the idea.

Regardless, I have an insatiable itch to try my med and chart technique again even though it failed horribly last time. I'm keeping an open mind to possible changes I might make to my system, however.

But waking life should be my focus until exams are over. Doesn't mean I can't focus on LD at all, just I shouldn't get obsessed with it.

One other thing that I meditated on is Spellbee's comp going on. I used to be really adverse to lucid dreaming comps because I thought they were a sort of bastardization of lucid dreaming, turning a passive, relaxing and fun activity into a soulless game of efficiency of dream control feats and lucid chains. I always argued with myself that lucid dreaming should follow the philosophy of my Taekwondo studio, compete against yourself to be better than you were, and don't worry about others. But I suppose I can re-orient your way of thinking that to participating in a lucid dream comp and only focusing on how I improve relative to myself rather than making it into a big old dick measuring contest among my fellow lucid dreamers. I'm competing to see what I can accomplish, not how many people I can preform more dream control feats than. Though if that were the case then I could just score myself whenever I wanted and using my own system. (Given I have some qualms with the standard LD comp scoring system and it's heavy emphasis on dream control, offering only peanuts to NLDs and nothing for the waking work you do.) After all I still feel like I've accomplished something by doing meditation and RCs, even if no LD results from it, and I would like to feel like I've somehow 'won' just by doing all the work.

Yet I still feel driven to set a goal for myself; to build myself up and participate in the next competition. (They happen every 3 months so the next one will be in August.) So in some regard I must enjoy the slingshot of motivation that I get from competing against others, even though I recognize it's a philosophy I disagree with. (I suppose it can't be that harmful given that comps don't happen all the time.) Though I've always felt comps were destructive to those who don't do well. Lucid dreaming relies a lot on your confidence level and if your confidence is flattened by seeing lucid dreamers that vastly outperform you (especially those who put in a lot less work.) Heck, when I did particpate in comps, I did pretty well, but in the intermediate league, there were always one or two dreamers light years ahead of the pack, and I still felt like I was a failure.

Maybe comps are a bad idea because (as a kid this wasn't a problem for me.) But I've become the type of person who internally set the bar for myself very high. I don't have to be the best at something, but I have to be pretty damn good in order for me to be satisfied with myself. I'm sometimes tempted to say that every comp had something unfortunate that impacted my results. (In one comp, I fell ill the first week, in another, my dad had a kidney stone the day the comp started and we spent two nights in the hospital with him, and in yet another the day the comp began coincided with a family vacation that led to more disrupted sleep and little time for RCs.) And this is what tempts me to want to try just one more time.

Also who's to say that by participating in dreamviews at all I'm not putting myself into that kind of environment. After all even if I'm not entered into a comp, I'm still exposed to other dreamer's stories of success and failure, and many of them are much more skilled than I, and I've managed to not let competitiveness decay my motives. (Or perhaps I have and I'm just not able to admit that to myself yet.)

Though I want to try one more time, for the sake of having a goal set for myself. I want to participate in spell's summer comp (too late for the current one, and I don't feel like starting in the second week.) I want to get 'in shape' first, charge in and dominate the comp. That would be a good goal to set for myself. But I don't want to become the demoralizing villain that dominates the intermediate league. Perhaps a goal to set to motivate and center myself on lucid dreaming would be to participate in the summer comp, but build myself up to the point that I could be confident in my ability participate in the expert league. I wouldn't demoralize any less experienced intermediates and the simple confidence booster of being able to call myself an 'expert league participant' would be nice. I'm guessing I will not be at one lucid a night, after three months of work, but I will probably be doing pretty good, and this comp will be a nice stepping stone to my final goal, if all goes well. Of course the option to abort and reconsider is always on the table.

I just need a direction to go.

So let's start getting in shape; well after exams, of course.

(I had more I wanted to say about what went through my head during this meditation, but my mom's cat is making dough on my sweater and typing has become awkward.)

I dreamed semi lucidly that I was going for a jog. It was summertime and very warm and sunny outside and I was jogging through an area that I have never seen before IWL. There was an asphalt bike path that I followed through first a park area with a playground and a some slides. It then took me by a river with some large willow trees growing by the water and some tall pagoda-like houses across the way. The path made a left and went alongside a railroad track and an abandoned warehouse with piles of scrap metal and broken concrete in its front yard.

I view myself in third person and notice that I am in my dream avatar body. This causes me to become more lucid. I begin flying on fire jets above the path and getting a view of the area. Nowhere nearby do I recognize any landmarks. I do see an elderly man driving a large red tractor/ATV type vehicle down the path a ways ahead of me. He attempts to go around a sharp turn too fast (maybe 40 miles per hour) and crashes into a metal telephone pole. The crash looks pretty bad and wreck rolls over the man into a ditch.

At first I don't even want to look at the crash for fear of what I might see, but my continence/semi lucidity kicks in and with only vague and confused awareness that it is a dream character and that I don't really have a reason to go help. I consider calling 911 but then consider again how annoying and unreliable dream phones often are. So I turn around and land. The crash is every bit as grizzly as I expected and the elderly man's legs and lower body are completely gone and his guts are hanging out. But somehow he's still alive, and everything above his bellybutton is completely unharmed. He's in a lot of pain and screaming in pain but I can tell he's fading fast.

I talked in my previous rant about how I haven't come up with any new dream control spells and have confirmed that all of my original ones work. I figure I can still use my three pillars of dream control and just plain English. My first priority is to put him out of his pain. I raise my hand to the man laying in the heap.

"Anesthesia."

The man stops screaming and is knocked out. I then point at him with two fingers, presumably to represent the arteries that carry blood away from the heart and the veins that carry the blood back.

"Stop bleeding."

All the blood disappears and stops coming out of him. I think some other bits of his lower body that were lying around disappeared too. I spread my hands apart wide and try to imagine completing his skeleton. I closed them in together.

"Reconstruct Skeleton."

There was a bed of gravel to my right, by the side of the trail. Hundreds of small white stones came alive from the gravel and rolled together forming the rest of his spine and the bones in his upper legs. I had to repeat the command and hand motion four or five times before his skeleton was actually complete. The dream began fading out here but I was so intensely focused on my dream control that I tried to ignore it and hurry up to finish before I ran out of time.

I wondered how I would get flesh to cover the lower half of his skeleton once more and decided to pull and stretch the part of his body that was covered in flesh and imagine it growing to restore him fully. I began doing so psychically, manipulating his body to grow and stretch over the new bones. I lost the dream and woke up.

Conditions: Sunny, Calm, Late Afternoon
I was outside in a rectangular concrete area surrounded by woods. In the center was a big screen of stretched around a giant cube. On the outside edges of the concrete area were rooms that I never saw the inside of. The mane 6 were trying to enter the east room before the Pokemon theme song played. I tried to sing along, but I didn’t remember even half the words, which meant I was gonna get beat up at the end of it. During the song, I snuck up behind the group to smell Rainbow Dash’s mane for some reason. However, she noticed me and instantly flew off at high speed before I could get a whiff. Also, whenever I put my fist forward in time with the music, I would be launched in that direction, and then I would slowly float down. By the end of the Pokemon theme, the scenario changed before anyone had the opportunity to beat me up.
Now, the concrete area was flat, and made of Minecraft blocks(Railcraft’s concrete blocks). Nothing special happened here, or in the woods.

1 minute 36 second read.
Monday morning, 17 April 2017.
A Spider in a Taxi (hand mobility)
Dream # 18,382-03.




I am riding in a taxi with family members (including Zsuzsanna). I sit in the back seat on the left. After we reach our stop (Hinkler Central shopping mall), I notice a sizeable spider on my left.

The spider has long legs. I do not know the species. I move away from it but turn around to crush it with my wallet when it is on the seat. It takes effort as I become more aware of my hand’s physicality and mobility.

After I exit the taxi on its right, I close the door quickly in case the spider is still alive. I am the last one out. (In this dream, I am unaware of the cab driver as I do not look in their direction.)

---

Spiders in dreams (depending on the narrative) correspond with the human hand for several reasons, including my lifelong association with “The Eensy Weensy Spider” song (or “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” and other variations) and its accompanying hand motions that model a crawling spider. A spider also serves as a somatosensory phasing indicator. (Spiders, bugs, and insects have associations with crawling on a person - a tactile association - not symbolism in the conventional sense). They do not always have negative associations. Spiderweb correlates with REM atonia (physical immobility while sleeping).

In this case, probable additional influence is my annoyance at high cab fares (and handing a cab driver money).

---

Morning of April 17, 2017. Monday.



I find myself wandering through an unfamiliar school, the very large expansive building implied to be of one floor, it seems. (It may be modeled after my old middle school in Florida.) For some reason, I get this impression of a backstory where I had been seeking special classrooms that teach adults. It relates to physical education, I think, and possibly martial arts, but the details are not that clear. It may be that I am, under pretense, just looking for “hidden” areas in the building.

I talk with an unknown male who is walking in the hall. I tell him about having heard rumors from people (and this is by deliberate pretense, as it seems I am just making up the whole concept to justify my exploration) about a hidden or secret classroom near the back of the building that teaches adults. He denies that there are ever any classes held beyond the hall we are in (which really is not logical, though I do not question him - though it may just be that the rooms are being renovated presently).

I continue towards the back of the school building. I eventually reach an area where there seems to be a class being held to my right (which means that the other male was either lying or was unaware of it). The door is open and I can see that the classroom is full. It seems that it may be sixth or seventh grade. I think about talking to the teacher (who is unseen, as the door opens to the back of the class) but I do not want to disrupt the class. I notice an unfamiliar girl who has a light freckle-colored pattern over about half of her face and neck.

Soon, all of the students start singing “The Bear Went Over The Mountain”. They sing very harmoniously, and the song goes on for quite a while. (I get the vague impression that it is for my benefit, though this is not certain.)

I go back to the other male to tell him about the class and he seems puzzled. Soon, I realize I had absentmindedly had my leg in a bad position, pressing down on the surface of a table I am sitting on. He tells me that I have a medical condition, saying what it is (though I do not recall the term). I say “I don’t care”, as when I move my leg, the condition apparently resolves itself. There is a diamond-shaped hole in my right leg; inward, in about the middle of my lower leg. Soon, my skin rises up to the correct level to match the rest of my leg and I clearly see blood filling the area under the skin, which changes from the white diamond shape to normal appearance.

---

“The Bear Went Over The Mountain” seems to be redundant of the nature of the dream itself, and also seems a play on the “subconscious mind” myth. Even though I supposedly go beyond a recognized area of the school, I simply end up on the other side of the school, though I suspect there are additional meanings (such as similarity to the phrase “over the hill”, though only by society’s nonsensical beliefs).

Update Wednesday, 3 May 2017: The unfamiliar girl was a precognitive thread as I suspected. For their privacy reasons, I will not go into detail. On a side note, the “medical problem” might be a loose reference to my vagus nerve (though it is not life-threatening), but that is only assuming it was not a reference to a real-time physical position (in sleep) concerning my leg. On an additional note, the “subconscious mind” myth continues to baffle me, especially considering that nearly all dreams (other than the precognitive threads) are entirely erroneous in nature. The school setting is simply the result of being unconscious and the critical thinking skills of the conscious self being temporarily lost as a result and the dream self seeking to relearn the state of wakefulness. (As I have often explained before, I only use the term “subconscious” to designate the dream self as the “personified subconscious”, only to distinguish it from the unconscious, preconscious - especially when personified, the emergent consciousness, and whole conscious self identity.)

---

23:30 - 2:40

Dream 1 - Volcano

I'm in some MMO game. I see the map in my mind, it's truly massive. I'm running towards a lair inside a volcano. I'm with a friend who tells me about a special event starting inside the volcano. We are already late. We get into the lair. The boss there is dead and I see hundreds of players jumping around and moving towards one of the walls, waiting for a path to open. Lava is dripping from the ceiling of the cavern. Tiny droplets of lava falls like rain and seems to follow me. I try to outrun it, but I feel lava hitting my shoulders and back wherever I go.

The path opens and people start running. I can outrun most of the players. The scene is like a small dirt path through a forest. Suddenly some players have bikes. I still outrun them. Then the dream throws some railings, signs, rocks etc on the path to slow me down. It turns into a slow crawl. I hate it. When we finally get to the end, we see a church-like building. Old friend Tero is at the door, telling everyone going where to sit. I'm 62nd person to go in, according to him.

Dream 2 - Being Dead and Whatnot

I'm in a museum, third floor I think. It's night. I have to spend the night here. I remember there being a beds in one room. I have trouble finding it. A large woman is patrolling the building and finds me. She yells. I beg her to let me stay the night. I have nowhere to go, since I'm dead. As the words come out of my mouth, I stop and repeat it in disbelief. "I'm...dead." Can that be? I can't recall how it happened. I feel sorrow. The guard lady lets me stay and points me to the second floor. I find the room with beds and rest.

I wake up. It's 3am and my roommate is making late night snack and slamming doors. Uggggggggh...Well, this turns into a short WBTB thanks to him.

3:15 - 6:30

Dream 3 - Gift of the River God

I see a medieval world, reminding me of Game of Thrones. It's a cloudy day. A woman with long wavy blonde hair and shining armor approaches a dark river, I recognize her to be Pike from Vox Machina (D&D group). There's a small crooked tower built on the river. It's made of stone and looks like a big pile of skeletons. There's a large metallic ring hanging on the tower. There's a chain attached to it. The chain goes into the river, it's binding something. Pike climbs the tower and drops the ring and chain into the river. She jumps into the river afterwards. A massive, ugly woman rises from the bottom of the river and lifts Pike with her abnormally long and thin arm. The hag thanks Pike for freeing her and asks if she wants her gift. Pike nods and instantly her form starts changing. The hag disappears and Pike floats down to the surface of the river, effortlessly walking on top of it. Her armor becomes engulfed in purple flames and she becomes nearly invisible, like Shadowform from WoW. She summons a horse, which is also just a shadow with purple flames around it. With unnatural speed, she rides over the river towards a castle in the distance.

I'm a DO so I just fly up to get a better view. I see a small castle, a stone wall in front of it with a small gate and barren field around it. There's no grass or trees. The ground around the castle is completely dead. I see flashes of light next to the castle. There's a battle going on and some magic spells are visible from this distance. Dream skips a bit. Pike arrives to the castle and heads towards the fight. Her teammate is fighting a heavily armored man who hasn't taken any damage. He's nearly invincible. Pike walks towards him with determination, reaches behind her back and takes out her flaming greatsword. She holds the massive sword with her right hand. In the blink of an eye, she lifts the sword over her left shoulder and swings down at the armored guy. The force of the blow shatters the ground beneath him. He falls down, but isn't out yet.

I suddenly stand where Pike was. Oh no! I have to take this guy out? What do I have? I check my inventory. I have a large yellow amulet that looks sharp. Think I could stab him with that? I try, but it does nothing. Oh god. Pike's teammate is still there. The bad guy starts getting up. I decide to run. The bad guy follows. A big rock near the castle entrance catches my eye. There's a message on it "Murderer is _____" It's a long name I can't recall, but that's clearly a warning. I didn't want to see that. Now whoever that guy is wants me dead too. Speak of the devil, the murderer appears behind me. He's actually a three headed hydra looking monster. He jumps at me. I dodge and run through the gate, back towards the river. Grog, also from Vox Machina, the goliath barbarian shows up and instantly removes a two heads from the monster to save me. The monster is right next to me. I've never seen severed heads so close and in detail.

I sort of jump out of the GoT/D&D world. I'm sitting around a table with Travis Willingham, who plays Grog, and going through his dice and items. We are trying to figure out what items I could get from him so I could fight too. I only recall the name of one item "Blood Armor". I wasn't ready to fuse my body with a set of armor so I passed on that one. While organizing his dice, the dream transforms once more. Some lady comes by and asks if we are guests at the university. Travis has transformed into one of my WL friends and be both say we have been university students for years. She asks if we would like to foster a foreign kid together. We thought about doing it. After that we walk out of the building and talk about changing majors while walking through the city. I notice an old army friend on a poster. He's standing in a big bowl filled with water and limes. The limes spell out some bizarre word I can't recall anymore. Apparently I misread it too, according to my friend.

And I wake up. It's 6:30 am. What a dream. But not a lucid, so I try again.

7-8:33

Dream 4 - Ladies

-Another dream full of sex, so I won't write it fully. At one point I was in a house with a woman who was my wife, apparently. She made a pyramid with pillows. Parts of a photo was printed on each pillow, they formed a picture of her.

So it has been a while since I updated this. Dreaming kind of took a back seat to life, but I am hoping to get back into the swing of things!

Dream:

I have just fallen asleep. My medication allows for quick falling asleep and vivid dreams. It is overly dark. I keep getting flashes of people, and colors, and images, like pictures. It is hard to make sense of it. Everytime I try to focus on something it flashes away. I can hear voices. I think I'm in a sort of void, where nothing exists but me. Its hard to make sense of anything. The voices continue, compounded on each other and getting louder.

I am suddenly in a room with Kathryn Janeway. Her overshirt is off, and she is in just her pants and grey long sleeve shirt. She is sitting on a bench, with a light focused on her. She looks up at me. "Embrace the Dream." That was an odd thing to say.

I look up, Hermione Granger is laughing with me. I must have said something funny. We are in the Great Hall. She leans in close to me, whsipering in my ear. "Embrace the Dream." Huh. Didn't Janeway just say that. She shoves me back and I am falling, through the void.

I can see light, but I am moving away from it. It feels like I am falling back into something. I land with a thud and the light comes rushing at me. "Easy, easy now." I can hear Janet Fraiser saying. I carefully open my eyes. A pen light flashes across them. I am in biodome medical bay. I try to sit up. "Careful." I see Wasau there too. She helps me sit up. "Welcome back." She says then leaves. "Back?" Janet looks at me, scans me with a tricorder. "Yeah, its been a while." I think. "I thought I was back before, a few months ago?" Jaet pulls me into a hug. I kiss her. "Yeah, about that. A lot has changed here since then."

I look up at her questioningly. "What? Why? Were we attacked?" I know the biodome is a place for all dreamers to meet. "We weren't attacked." "What then?" I ask. "I think its better if I show you." We step out of the med bay and into a deserted hall. Its grey sleak walls seem a dull comfort, and unnerving at the same time. "Janet, what happened here?" No one is around. "Well, when you, and the others stopped coming... more like stopped dreaming, it all just fell to shit." I looked around again. We had made it all the way to the end of a hall. Janet was starting to put on a space suit. "You should do the same." I look at her. "If this is a dream I don't need to." She smiled at me. "Very good, but I still need to." I help her put it on.

We have to wait for the room to depressurize before opening the other door. There is no power and I equip myself with a flashlight. I change my clothes. I am wearing miltary style pants, a thigh holster with a gun, and plain shirt. I check the weapon. "How much time?" "2 hours, what's that?" Janet asks. "This?" I hold up the gun and she nods. "Its a plasma gun. Got it from... well I forget. You still didn't tell me what happened."

We are walking toward the emergency beacon. "When you stopped dreaming, more off on your own quest for things, people stopped coming." "Yeah, but the biodome was for anyone." "True, but without you, and Raven, well things went down hill. Stuff started breaking. You're the heart of this place Commander." I look at her startled. Only one other time has the biodome called me that, and I have never heard Janet call me that. "If I'm the heart that makes Raven the soul. But what about Nomad, and MoSh?" She looks at me and sighs. "They just helped build the thing, just like anyone else can. Really it's been linked mostly to you.."

I take a good look around. This place looks bad. I guess it makes sense. I have't been feeling the greatest about things, and apparently subconciously translated into the dream state. "Did you ever find your answer?" Janet asked me. "Well I claimed her, in a dream, if it wasn't a DC (dream character), and nothing happened in the waking world. That I can tell. But it sure does look like something happened here," I draw my gun. I feel like we are being watched. I tell Janet this. She smiles at me. "It's your dream, you make it what you want." I tell myself that there is nothing there. No enemy. Its the biodome anyway!

Finally we come to a long set of stairs down. In the middle of a circle is a large machine going down into the Moon. I look at it. "Well, I guess we better start down." After the fifth story down Janet asks who built this. I tell her I did. She just looks at me. I suddenly understand her point. I close my eyes and will the machine to be smaller, and suddenly we are on the ground floor. I see the control pannel. I rip it off and start messing with the electric cords there. I am trying to get power back to the emergency beacon. "Shouldn't we have gotten the generators back up first?" Janet asks. "No, this is supposed to have an backup systen.Why its not working..." I shrug. I ask Janet for some tool and she get it for me. I stand up. "Thanks." She looks at me and shoves me. I fall down a long hole. "Embrace the Dream."

What the fuck? Is all I can think as I'm falling. I land with a thud, her words echoing in my mind. Embrace the Dream. Seems to be a pattern going on. I look up at the light, just a tiny pin prick. I hate wells, and why I think I'm in a well is beyond me. I will for a set of stairs to apppear. It does, on the side, but is more like a ladder. I climb out, and the hole vanishes. "What the hell? You have dream control?" I ask Janet. I'm not really mad at her. She is trying to teach me something. She smiles at me. "Only beacuse you let me. Lets finish up." I ask her how much time we have left for her oxygen. She says 1 hour. We finish working on the beacon, a bright white light shoots out of it and stays on. "Well, anyone that sees that should know we are in trouble. Now lets get the generators back on."

As we head up Janet says she doesn't have much time left. I tell her to go back to the waiting room. I can do this myself. She leaves and I head to the generators. Once there, its more like an engine room, I start my work. The main generator looks like the engine from Serenity, off of Firefly. I start messing around with it, trying to get it spinning again. I can hear Janet in my ear piece. Something went wrong, the room can't be pressurized back. And she can't get out of her suit. This makes me work faster. I can hear her laboured breathing. "How much time?" I ask. "Thirty mintues." Her suit beeps. "But only because you lowered the levels you're taking in?" Its less of a question as it is a statement. "Not the point." She replies. I see her slding the the wall before I am brought back to the engine room.

I start to work faster. Flipping switches. The engine begins to turn the stop. I take a large wrench and start banging on it. Dirt and rust and grime fall off. I flip the switches again. Again it starts then stops. I can hear Janet beginning to breath really heavy, like she is suffocating. I start kicking the engine. "Work damn it! Spin! Do something!" I leave the switch flipped up, and keep kicking the machine. Soon a large boom, happens and I fly back 20 feet. I am covered in dirt and grime. The engine kicks to life, and with it, the biodome begins to live again. No people, but its a start.

I walk to where I left Janet. Wasau is there, and is helping her. Janet has her helmet off. "I see you did it." I nod, still covered in dirt. "What happened?" "Exhuast port was jammed. Got it cleaned out." She laughs, "Looks like it did it kind of on its own." I smile and nod.

We head to the gardens. They look sad, and withered. I call out for Raven knowing she can help bring them back. "I hope she gets the message." I smile at Janet. "You did good. Just remember," everything is starting to fade. "Embrace the Dream." Everything goes to black.

April 15th, 2017

My school and I were visiting a city with GIGANTIC buildings.
I looked up and I saw a few buildings that shot into the sky.

//Time Shift//

2 friends and I were shopping inside one of the buildings and
I noticed from before that reminded me of the Willis Tower
from Chicago when I went on an orchestra trip.

My mom gave me 50 cents to get some coins for arcade games.
As I put the 2 quarters in, a large handful of game coins poured
out into my hands. I ran over to my mom and friends and showed
them the amount of coins that came out of the machine. When I
looked back down to the coins, they had somehow multiplied and
now I had a GIANT stack.

//Time Shift//

I was in a room still in the tower. There were a few people I didn't
know, but for some reason, we connected very well. I told them my
plans to go to the very top of the building and mentioned how similar
it looked to Willis Tower in Chicago. We all laughed and smiled at each
other, more than I'd like in real life..

April 4th, 2017

I was in an office with people that make videos
for YouTube (Something like Buzzfeed).Each table has a certain genre
of video, but I only notice one of these tables which was kind of a
'mixed' table, containing many genres. For some reason, I know that
I am the trashboy, only coming around to pick up garbage. I skim
through papers that looks like my math homework for school.

"Do you guys need these?" I ask.

"No, you can throw those away," A woman responds.
"Table (Some random game I can't remember) always has trash, you can
go check them."

I crumble the paper in my hand and as I turn around,
I can see through a doorway that there were some people working on a
video, sitting in front of a camera. These people had robes and hats on,
looking like some type of dark magic genre. Then, my school bell rings
surprising me that I'm at school in my dream and not actually an office.

"Okay, I guess that's the end," One of the girls in
a cape says.

I ruffle through some more papers and I stumble
upon a journal full of Hamlet analysis.

"You can just leave it so you can get to class,"
A random stranger says to me.

I ripped a few pages out of the journal and I threw
the few papers I had into the recycle bin.

No lucids today. just non lucids and frags.

Nerimeno (frag)

I was watching a holographic representation of one of Hukif's dreams. He was fighting who he called Nerimeno, a huge guy with a big black sword. So much was going on in this dream i couldn't catch it all. It jumped around too much.


I got up for wbtb at around 4 am.

Kittens (full NLD)

I was with someone running in a dark tunnel. I emerged in a big living room of a house. The person vanished and there was suddenly hundreds of tiny kittens. I thought they were cute at first but then they came up to me and started crawling up me and clawing me. I managed to shake some off.

I ran into another room and shut the door. I was now in a bedroom with no way out. One of the tiny kittens that was white and a light blue stripe crawled from under the door. then another and another. "Now where do I go?" I thought.

Going to a concert. (frag)

Started off me and my cousins were driving to Edmonton. later we wound up running into a friend of mine who lives around there. He plays guitar and he mentioned we could spend the night.

Buses (full NLD)

This dream seemed like hours. Started at some big white castle. For get what happened there. Got on a bus for some reason. It rode out into some country side. The bus driver said we would reach the terminal and there would be four buses leaving every half hour or so. During the ride I remember listening to Chuck Missler which i had playing on my laptop during sleep, His voice seemed to speak through the dream.

Came to a 4 way concrete tunnel that was the terminal. I got off and waited a half hour to see where the other route went. I walked down one of the tunnels and went through a glass door where other people were smoking. I had a smoke for a bit and then walked back in. By then more buses were coming, so i got on a different one and it drove off. I remember more scenery when I woke up.

Guitar (frag)

Had a dream I was at my old fourplex in didsbury. I was playing a fancy dark blue stratocaster with a scalloped fret board.

Mario maker (frag)

Frag of being on my laptop watching a mario maker livestream.

Raven's Journal (frag)

Fa, and I get on my computer and see an email message that Raven Knight posted two more dreams. I clicked the link but woke up.

This was a really vivid dream that turned into a nightmare. Maybe cause it was long it got pretty convincing. I was so observant in this dream too.

Hurrying Home

From what I can recall I was in a poor village near a dessert where a short hooded woman told the story of a boy/man who was neglected by them because he had something inside him that when let out would destroy you.Many of the people had already left the village for a chance to survive the war and poor amounts of food available. They didn't want another problem on their hands. As I looked at the clumped dishes in her tent than at the reddish stone floors, I found myself wanting to meet whoever it was that had the thing. "Maybe they could help me find my family?"I thought. I left after that and walked on a path that led me to observe a guy who was very tactile in hunting and climbing. His black furry animal robe and slightly tan skin caught my attention. "Did he come back from talking to the guy with the thing? He must be really brave". That's what came to mind before I think the guy with the thing came. Don't recall if much happened with them but next I recall walking into a football field.

The sky was gray and there seemed to be a storm starting as people left quickly. Mostly family from students who wanted to join the school team. Trying to get my phone so i could call home, I opened my bag but seeing my money about to fly out cause of the harsh winds I had to regain stability at a wooden square table. There a little blonde girl and her friends were talking about how they needed a metro card for one of them so they could get home to their family. After they pointed out my money with a "Oo! Look Money!" I decided to buy the girl a ten dollar MetroCard to help her out. There was two subways nearby. I entered one with the crowd thinking that the girls were around but I lost track of them.

However, I ended up finding the small little blonde girl again. We just got on a high escalator before the crowd pushed us off it. As I held onto the little girl who seemed to be pushed off too I did my best to keep a tight grip on the metal handle as I slid down on my butt. An employee below saw when we landed and called out we were fine. I was thinking how we managed to pull it off but after putting the girl down I got on a line of people because I wanted to buy some candy before heading home.

After looking at the chocolate candy for a bit though I decided I was too distracted and needed to get home. Looking for my train I had a feeling the girls were already on their way home so I needed to pick up the pace. I exited the subway after seeing a group of drug attics roaming around too. Being outside didn't help though. There were guys, one of them with a small gray phone but with a red top, that tried asking me things and snapping a pic of me. I eventually got away hoping for even the wind to push me in the right direction but it was night now and there were others. I stopped a old guy from harassing a girl before I continued up. I felt so close to getting home that it seemed three blocks away. However, a guy around my age, wearing a black jacket, a blue cap, and gray sweater came up from behind and casually asked me to do it with him. I said he was very handsome so I could not anger him but I was cringing so bad from the thought of being raped. After he told his dad behind us to hold his jacket I became lucid.


I did a high jump onto a building ledge before jumping to another one higher to get away. "Aw man" he replied before telling his dad to hold his jacket so he could catch up with me. Pushing myself through the building wall I managed to get inside but than a scene appeared of his dad and him sitting in the living room. The dad was white and dressed as a doctor. He was about to put a needle into his son's arm. I thought it was a drug needle.

So they wouldn't pop out of the scene I thought of not being visible to their eyes. It worked to have it in mind since they just continued talking and the son who had a darker complexion told his dad that he wasn't sure why a girl he liked didn't seem on point with him, that he had a rich dad who was a doctor and etc. The dad just laughed and told him something along the lines like their better than most. Woke up after that



Just Walking Around

I was laying on a bed that had a red and blue blanket and slowly felt myself separate.I became semi lucid thinking I had an OBE and that the room I was in was mine but even though it had a. similar space most of the stuff appeared to be from a kid wooden bedroom set. Leaving the room though I saw the living room like my current house living room except emptier and understood that I made a mistake.

Now aware of how things were in reality I took notice of a shorter version of Dawn sitting at a round white table. "Oh, no you don't" I said than walked into the bathroom and closed it. I told myself that I wasn't going to see Dawn anymore so I wasn't going to even look or talk to him. Looking at the sink now I pondered what to do next. I than got the idea to see how it feels to shower in a dream again. I turned the shower on and water began pouring out of the shower head.I wet my hair a bit than turned it off."Never mind"I thought than exited the bathroom. I felt like it would just be a waste of time.

Out of the blue Eye came up to me with a plastic bag filled with orange gummy sugar citrus candies. Something I use to eat a long time ago. "Here!" He shouted playfully than stuffed a candy into my mouth. "mmm...It's supposed to be sour? Or sweet? "I pondered than took the bag."This helps me out for the SpellBee competition but what do I really wanna do?". As I kept thinking the candy dissipated in my mouth. I ate another before the dream shifted and I appeared laying on a bed again.

The setting was mostly yellow and black. "I wanna go somewhere interesting" I thought. After a few secs I appeared in a building with yellow carpeting and red wood walls. There was a man behind the receptionist desk talking to a kid. As I looked around them I saw cash on the floor. "I don't have to do this but I'm just gonna leave this here"I said putting the cash where the receptionist guy was. After walking away a dc came up to me and whispered that someone was watching me from a distance. "Really?"I said to humor the dc."Yeah, follow me if you want me to show you" they replied. I wasn't sure what it was that I really wanted to do so I just followed the dc.

We were now in a living room that was big, spacious and had red wood flooring. The dc shape shifted into a woman now and began whispering to me "You know your great grandmother. Before she died I watched her stitch the thread together before she fell on it and it impaled her in the heart". Seeing her chuckle about that I decided to change her through song. I wanted her to be more positive but after she changed into a purple arrow she became a dragon like creature and bit on my head. She was as big as a komodo dragon. I just kept singing to calm her and the scene began to change into a castle now where a girl was dancing in a yellow dress. Holding onto that scene I began thinking of it expanding and another castle appeared but in the other direction. It was accompanied by fireworks(Not very flashy in daylight) and a huge rainbow that vanished. I sang thinking of the rainbow again and it appeared. I wasn't sure if it would count for advance summoning but at least it was something. Feeling the dc still on my head I just kept on singing till the dream brought in a voice that wasn't mine and continued.
I woke up after that. It wasn't really what I wanted to do in a lucid but at least I did something. ^^"



Competition Points

Remember A Full Non Lucid Dream 1
First Dild Of the Night 10
Second Dild 5
Interact With A Dream Character 2
Eat Something 5
Gain Invulnerability 5
(The dc bit my head and didn't manage to crush it)
Basic Summoning 5
(Made another castle appear)
Invisibility
(DC son and father didn't see me and jump at me)
Unspecified Dream Control 5
(High jumped onto the ledge of the building)
Practicing a waking life Hobby 5
(Singing)

Complete tasks

1) Go through big solid object 5
(The building in the first dream)
2)Interact with a dream character 10
3) Mind Control 15
(Made the violent dc calm)

Personal Goal
1) Change setting to a place you've never been before 15
( Place changed to somewhere new and somewhat interesting through intent)
------------------------
88 Points Total

2017, 04-14

War

I am in the living room with my mother and we are watching the news on television. The current story is talking about how Donald Trump has ordered another bombing of one place or another, I can’t seem to hear what country or target he was bombing this time, but things on the news look rather stressed. There are scenes of explosions and destruction in places I don’t recognize. My mom is saying that if he keeps this up we’re going to find our own homes under attack one of these days. She says that possibility probably isn’t even on Trump’s radar, and if it is, she’s pretty sure he doesn’t give a fuck. I do a double take at my mom, as she doesn’t usually drop the ‘F’ bomb. She acts as if it is a completely normal occurrence and is still focused on the news. I am considering doing a reality check but I am distracted by noise outside.

I go over to the window and look outside. The covered deck seems to be missing and I can see the sky from the front door, and there are numerous planes flying overhead. I wonder what they’re here for as I watch them fly away to the south. I watch for a bit and I am about to turn away when I see an explosion in the distance. I wonder if they targeted the air force base on the south side of town. I star in disbelief as there are more explosions and now there are defending planes in the sky and more explosions in the sky. I see there are more planes flying over our house. They are intercepted there and start having a dog fight. A burning plane flies very low over our house, in the process of crashing. I know this explosion will be big, and I dive behind the kitchen island for a little extra cover. I also call to my mom to hit the dirt. There is an explosion outside that rips off half the house and sends a blast of hot air around the island, but I am safe there. I can’t believe a plane just crashed in our yard! I wonder if the plane belongs to friendly forces or enemies. I am thinking about checking if anyone got out, but instead everything fades and I wake up.

I was once again in a large building. Suddenly I felt the urge to get out. I jumped through the window in a glorious swan dive, and found myself in a place that's way too difficult to describe in words... Still a long way above ground, but outside. Perhaps the place was still under construction. Anyway... on the other side of a gap (long way down) stood the one and only Samuel L. Jackson. He urged me to follow him. He sped away, and I "ran" after him. Now, it gets weird. I could run ludicrously fast. Like, faster than a car could possibly drive. And the colors of the world got very bright and neon-y. Kind of like Tron. I ran vertically up walls, along walls, chasing Samuel all the time. After a while, I felt like I was creating the scene myself. I got the "unconscious" realization that this was a dream and I was creating the scene. I struggled to come up with new environments to "create" in front of me, and that's how I got stuck in a long cylindrical tunnel that we were running through in a spiral (even upside down every lap). I woke up from this lapse in concentration. The entire dream had this futuristic dubstep soundtrack that was quite fitting with the Tron aesthetic of the visuals.

I was in a room, I think on the first floor. There was a puddle of water on the floor. Suddenly, something happens. The water starts moving... towards one of the walls. The puddle splits up into many smaller puddles, and they start crawling up the wall. Gravity starts shifting, and the air turns "electric". I could feel static electricity as I moved my hands through the air. Drops of water floated in the air. Suddenly, there was a "flash". I was still in the same house, but everything was different. All the furniture was in different places, and there were boxes everywhere. I recognized the mess from when I moved into this house, a year ago. It dawned on me that I had somehow ended up in the past, but I could not yet believe it. I was terrified, and wanted out of there ASAP. Outside, I found a person. I immediately asked him what year it was. It was 2016 according to him. That's when I moved in here. The whole dream, despite seeming like sci-fi when I read my notes now, was a complete nightmare when I was having it. I was terrified. I then had a false awakening. I saw a "picture" of a certain fictional character I fancy, and her eyes went black and started weeping black tears. Then I had another awakening, this time the real one... for several minutes, I was very paranoid about my surroundings, frightened I was still dreaming. I wasn't.

I was having another frightening experience in a large, condemned building. After a while, I knew this was a "VR game". I navigated a few corridors in the the open air, on walkways above the ground. I caught a glimpse of a "thing" in the distance, and thought it was a monster that had now seen me. Another "thing" approached from the opposite direction, the direction I was headed. I was pretty scared, until I saw the thing was just an older woman. I think she was a teacher. She started talking to me, and I amazed at the graphical quality of her animations and the realism of the world around me. I could now "feel" the VR goggles on my head.

I was sitting on couch with a few others, talking. Across from my sat my "past self". I guess we were time-travelers or something. I gave him a 'knowing look', and knew
we could do some serious damage together.