side notes

From my notepad posted this morning:



Today was my third lucid I think, but this one was the most intense I had so far. The longest one too. It's Easter Sunday today and I've been pretty sick with a head cold the last few days. However, at around 11:20 am it happened. I was quite sick last night and was on medication while sleeping, which had probably started wearing off already when I had the dream.

On waking up at about 11 I stated to myself that I wanted to have a lucid dream. Then I fell back to sleep almost instantly.

First I had a normal dream, was kind of in an office building with the hubby waiting for something; to book a vacation or room or something. Not sure what it was that we were actually doing there, but there were a lot of other people there too. We had to sit at a table and wait our turn. When it was finally that it SHOULD have been our turn, the people who ran the office stopped working to have lunch. I was not happy about this, seeing how the office was now empty and we were the only ones who had not been helped. So I walked around, and sat at a different table talking to one of the people eating lunch in the next cubical over; they said I had to wait; it would be about an hour. Looking at the table after the conversation again, there was suddenly a key, and a new phone, with head set in two different packs that was not there before. I thought someone had forgotten it there. I took it and thought to perhaps let the staff know that if anyone lost a phone, we'd be around town for a few more days, they could let us know and we'd meet them to return it. I didn't trust the office staff; since they were not very helpful to us. Before I could decide on the phone or even show the Hubby the phone, he wanted to leave, since neither of us wanted to wait another hour. Then suddenly the scene shifted, he was not there anymore and I was outside.

The next thing I know I'm stating to myself that I'm dreaming. This is odd, as my normal reality check while awake is "Am I dreaming" or "Is this a dream". Also oddly enough I had not done a reality check for a while in waking life because I had been sick; but I remembered it right then and there in the dream and perform my floating and levitation test. Normally I do it just by little gestures such as trying to float up somewhere and touch something that's just out of my reach, but since I was already thinking I was dreaming I did it a little more grand. I saw people in this outside clearing area and I decided I would run, jump and float over two people's heads and then land on the other side. The experiment was kind of shaky, but it did work. I took off, but didn't get very high, closed my eyes, said out loud that I wanted to float higher so I would not hit anyone and did manage that; but my landing was not quite where I wanted. Still it proved to me that indeed I was dreaming, as I can only do things like that when dreaming, never when awake. I then reminded myself to not get too exited, something I had read on this forum, as I had read that this can make the dreams shorter.

I was actually outside for a lucid dream, something I had hoped to achieve since I first started working on achieving lucidity. So I took it slow.

There was some kind of bridge or something in the dream scene. It was pretty big and made out of rock. Very pretty actually. What it covered I don't remember, but I know it was not water, so probably was the field/clearing outdoors where I was at. I do remember trying to get my floating/flying a bit up to speed. Was NOT too good at that though. Remember once bumping INTO the bridge - but not getting hurt. I was still saying things out loud to make them happen and this felt awkward and didn't really work all that well this time since I focusing on the float/fly at the same time. So I started just thinking what I wanted, and at times visualizing it while going along. This meant closing my eyes to make things change, which was also awkward and didn't help much either, as not all changes were those I wanted and my floating / flying left a lot left to be desired. It got really weird, as at one point there were FROGS on the bridge when I approached it, when I had expected nothing there, or perhaps flowers or plants there. So I closed my eyes, mid hover/float/fly and focused on green plants being there instead. The frogs went, but again I almost crashed just making that happen. So I figured, closing eyes not so good in lucid dreams if you are not firmly on the ground walking. Maybe it works for those who are actually good at flying yet, but for little bumbling me it didn't work well.

I messed around with the bridge and the floating for a tiny bit more and then tried to get better at manifesting things in dreams. Frogs just were not what I wanted to experience, so I wanted to practice stuff a bit better. Seemed to me
like the dream environment changes very easily on it's own, and things change there very quickly -- even randomly it seemed. Might have been the nyquil too though in retrospect.

Not sure how I got to the next part of the dream, but I was somewhere else with someone else, a girl. I worked on trying to make things happen in the dream scene. In this case it was having flowers be in different places and growing. This was
not as easy as it sounds since we were indoors this time. Again, I was using the whole closing eyes thing and it did not work at all, even with visualizing what I wanted to happen where. No flower. I know this time it was different than the food dream where I was walking around the corner to make something BE there when I got there. No I was just right there, not moving from place to place. I have a feeling the girl was trying to TEACH me and helping me figure it all out. No easy ways out this time, such as having doors or walking around to aid in my manifesting. There were only flower pots and dirt there; and a photo of the plant to be manifested as well as ones that the girl had manifested before me.

After experimentation, one of the things that did work very well was actually manipulating time in the dream realms to make things happen. I had seen enough time lapse videos online, so I used that to actually make the flowers grow and
prosper before my eyes. WITHOUT having to close my eyes or change positions this time. This was neat and I had no idea that that could be done. I did this a few times to get practice in it.

Then I wanted to try to get roses there, red roses. The other plants were already around or there were pictures of them around, so they were easier to manifest and bring into reality. All of them were yellow, and yellow/whitish and they looked nothing like roses. Roses were no where in sight; so it would be a lot harder. The pots that were there were too small, I needed something larger to make a rose bush that was blooming. Trying again first to close my eyes and visually create a pot for them to grow in was not working. So I tried to merely create a small bowl out of nothing, which did work. Then using my thoughts and the dream realm's laws of creating things to make it bigger just by wanting it to be bigger. This was very odd but interesting enough it did actually worked. No clue how though.

Sadly at this time the dream became odd and somewhat unstable. I may have gotten to exited at actually seeing all this cool stuff around me and actually making things appear out of thin air. Or maybe my logical mind made me analyze the impossibility of the situation too much. I started losing lucidity and control; but tried my best to hold on to it. The girl suddenly seemed much older, which I didn't notice when she changed over. She also turned the nice long flower pot I had managed to make into a canoe all of a sudden; saying we should use it to go somewhere. There were also two other people that she referred to which were nearby and around now too, that she named as those who should go with us. No clue how ANY of that happened; especially in less than 30 seconds while I was focusing on flower pots and roses and seeming like I had the hang of it.

Then the dream changed again. Not sure if I tried to change it or if it just did because of the weirdness and loss of control factor. I might have simply walked off. My dream recall also went offline at this time. I found myself walking going up stairs or something, probably trying to go outside again. I noticed something small being off where the dream tried to imitate reality but caught on it it and knew I was still dreaming. That awareness stuff does work. So I tried to ignore that and keep going; to continue being lucid. It would have worked, but instead I woke up. It turned out that all my medicine had worn off and I was coughing with a runny nose laying in bed awake.

In retrospect:

For one I have a feeling that I caught on to the initial shift, the sudden change of dream between the office building and the outside grassy area with the people on it and the bridge in the background. Together with my statement to myself that I wanted to have a lucid dream before falling to sleep got me into a successful lucid dream; even being sick and on medicine.

Sadly the medicine might have had an effect on things though, which might have sabotaged me there in the end and maybe even have had something to do with the frogs, and other sudden shifts in the dream scene. Since I have not had too many lucid dreams I have no idea if these shifts and oddities are normal or not. Or perhaps it was the fact that I was sick to begin with that caused problems, as the only reason I woke up was the fact that my throat was scratchy and I awoke to coughing.

Floating is getting a little better, than in my first two lucid dreams I had but only when I go about it slow and methodical. All in all I'm still VERY clumsy with it as a mode of transportation. Flying is even worse. Not sure if this is because of lack of practice, not knowing what I need to be doing to make it work, or if it's because I have a fear of heights and falling and don't like going anywhere in fast speeds in real life. I'd love to eventually ask some other dreamers about this if it's normal or if that's because of my fears in waking life.

Manifesting is getting much better, as long as I don't close my eyes when hovering and flying around. Using the time lapse technique helped a lot. More than I would have thought. Also learning that things can be created and changed before your eyes helps too, in a way this forced me to suspending the thought of impossibility in that matter. All in all it was odd that I thought of them out of the blue, because I never heard anyone mention these two techniques in the dream forums. I do know, learning to pay attention to subtle things is VERY helpful in lucid dreaming, so the techniques that make you pay attention to little things will be practiced much more by me over the next few weeks. I had an incredible amount of knowledge from my waking life, including knowing to stay calm, and that frogs on a bridge should not be there and a number of other things. This was not the case in my other two lucid dreams I had before; so I do think there is a degree of awareness that can be different from dream to dream. Control was a little harder though than in my first dream, but about as tricky as in my second one; but then again I was trying to make more things happen at once and they were a little harder than merely manifesting some food and eating it.

I have also no idea how long I was lucid, but it felt like a nice long dream; not as short as the other two I had. This one may have lasted five to ten minutes, maybe even longer. Making it through a shift in dream scene was pretty impressive too, as in the other ones I never made it through a shift. I either woke up or I shifted and lost lucidity. This was also the one I felt I was the most lucid, remembering even little details from real life and ending up having the most control in the dream scene what I wanted to do. Still not perfect though, there is still more room for improvement.

All in all I cannot believe that I actually created flowers. From scratch. THAT WAS WAY COOL. Though frog covered bridges.... well .... uhmm, no thanks. I'll blame that one on the yquil, which I'm quite sensitive to even hours after the fact. Can't wait to try more.

HayaH ---

PS: After reading more it seems I did a DEILD chaining method I did not even know existed. Way cool. Was also cool to find out that control is normally not easy for newbies and that I was not the only one walking around my dreams saying things I wanted to happen out loud before attempting them. I can tell I'm gonna have lots of fun with this once I get better at it.

Since I am still unable to recall my dreams, which I am now convinced is related to constant tiredness / headaches, I figured I'd do something else.
I remember there being a thread on DV about dream cartography and thought it would be a cool idea to try and remember the layout of Destiny and draw the schematics.

Destiny is a recurring story-arc in my non-lucid dreams: Click Me

I can recall most details surprisingly well, and it turned out quite alright.
I don't think I'd be able to do this for something like Haven though.

Anyways, here's the schematics:
- Fully pressurized / breathable sections are green
- Engineering components and unpressurized sections or sections without air recycling are red
- Fluid containers are blue
- FTL / Hyperdrive system is orange
- Deck-to-deck connections are pink
- Outer hull sections are grey


Habitation Deck: Link
Not shown are desks installed during ftl.
This is where the crew was most of the time.


Engineering Deck: Link
This is where I spent most of the time, either idling in the cockpit or doing maintenance on various components in the engineering section.


Payload Deck: Link
The lowering platform was never installed due to time pressure, and it wasn't clear what it should look like.
Ideally the entire payload bay ground should be able to be lowered.
The idea was to be able to lower big objects onto the ground after landing on other planets / moons, or deliver payloads into space.


Size compared to the NASA Space Shuttle: Link


Wingspan:
- Shuttle: 23.79m
- Destiny: 79.5m

Length:
- Shuttle: 37.24m
- Destiny: 64.5m

Gross Liftoff Weight:
- Shuttle: ~109t
- Destiny: ~470t (no payload)

I kinda feel like making a 3d model of destiny now, but I haven't modeled in quite some time and I'm not sure I'd be able to.

Some more Katie fragments, and some mom fragments.

Side Notes: I didn't sleep well last night, so my recall is spotty at best. I think the reason I'm dreamign about Katie so much lately is because I'm constantly paranoid about her throwing me under the bus. She does that, especially if she gets in trouble for something. The first, and only thing she knows how to do when she gets yelled at, is to reach into her mind for the first person she can blow the whistle on, regardless if what she says is true or not. Rather than own up to her own mistakes, she tries to dilute the guilt by incriminating others. WHAT A SWELL GAL!!!

The dreams about my mother lately are all arguments. We almost never bicker about crap, and the dream arguments usually lead to lucidity. I'm guessing this is my subconscious being desperate to get lucid again. /therapy

Fire
and Water
and Wind
and Earth
Death and Destruction;
Life and Birth;

Hand in hand in hand these all go.
Only one will kill my Foe.
Two will kill my friends galore.
Three kills me forevermore.

Brightest dark of darkest days,
Protection from the harmful space,
Betwixt the covers, another place.

Eyes are closed,
Thoughts are gone.
Everything,
Nothing.
All are one,
In the land of never sun.

Forever free
to always be
anything I can see.
A friend,
a ghost,
Of whom I like most
Appears before me.

"Come, lets fly!" s/he says to me.
Snags my hand, set's me free.

In the meadow,
stands two people,
waiting on one other.

We land lightly,
Ever slightly,
In the shadows.

"I'll go now." says the ghost.
of the one I like most.

Sadly s/he flies away,
Having nothing more to say,
I wave goodbye, trot on out
preparing for the coming bout

The two in the meadow.
There now stands another fellow,
Words are changing; rearranging.

Forming now, a group of friends,
Together 'till the very end.

'twixt this land of sheets and meadows.
ghosts of friends; friendly fellows.
alas, times up, we wave goodbye.

to share our thoughts in another time.
another place in a different space,
one more last friendly face clouds my face
before I'm completely wide awake.

It's once more the ghost
of one of whom I like most,
Grabs my hand, and makes a plan.
tonight again,
Same time
Same place,

As I'm thrown back to the space,
rushed along at a breakneck pace.
I smile.

I grab the hand,
from that ghost,
the one that I
like the most.

I reach in fast, before I'm gone,
to the land of the rising sun.

One quick kiss before I'm done,
a tear escapes.
I am gone.

Betwixt the sheets, I awake.
Force myself to a sitting state.

Grab a pen,
A paper too.
I have an entry I must do,
Quickly now, 'for it's erased.

In that ever harmful place.







I dunno where the Idea to type up this thing came from, but it reminded me of last night, of which I remember very little about. I hadn't tried to LD last night, but maybe I did.

Dream One: I'm staying with an older couple, like they've taken me under their wing when I was in a tight spot or something. I'm going out for the day, so I've just left the house and am walking down the street. I come to a stop sign and three guys in their early twenties step around the corner and start acting like they're going to hit me. One pushes me back and another one steps behind me so I fall back into him. He pushes me forwards again and I lose my balance and hit the ground. Just then a hooded figure comes up from behind the second guy, picks him up and throws him into the other two. They fall over, and then scramble to their feet and run away. I look up to see Altair (of course I did, doesn't everyone dream of that game after playing it? lol) has rescued me. He thrusts out his hand and I take it and let him pull me to my feet. I'm sure there was some sort of conversation here, but since its the first dream of the night I can't much remember it. I just remember wanting to see what was under his hood (So far in the game, I've yet to get a good look at his face, and its driving me nuts, ha ha) He lowers his hood, and he looks like Caspian (Ben Barnes) from the second Narnia Movie. I take him back to the house with the old couple, and they agree to let him stay there because apparently he has no where else to stay while he's in town. I decide that I need to go buy some protective jewelry like this is some sort of real life RPG. I remember being in the store and buying a random pack, then I remember sitting on my bed in this old couples house dumping the contents of my bag in a box to craft my protective jewelry. I notice the room is a very bare room, with grey walls, black linoleum floor, my twin sized bed against the right wall and another bed against the left wall. There's a night stand with a lamp on it between the two beds against the far wall, so you can't reach it from laying in either. When I dump my pouch into the box, all the beads and pendants that fall out are Hello Kitty. I laugh to myself and think I'll feel so tough wearing this :/ but that my daughter would love it. I start to string the pendants and beads onto some wire, and Altair/Caspian walks in and sits down on the bed on the other wall. This establishes to me in the dream that the other bed is his. He's cleaning a blade or something, then my memory skips to being outside. There's snow on the ground, and there's a black Dog that looks like a Husky with me. He has a green eye and a blue eye, and in my dream I think he either is Caspian/Altair or has some sort of strong connection to him. We're playing in the snow, tug of war with a stick, the dog chasing me and knocking me playfully to the ground to lick my face, then making a snow angel while the dog wags it's tail and makes a "tail angel". Then I remember something I needed from inside, and we stop playing to go inside and get it. When I walk into our room, I notice there are all kinds of things tucked under Altair/Caspian's mattress, so much it's poking out all around the bed. I laugh to myself that the things aren't hidden well and as an assassin he should do better! I reach under my own mattress and pull out a substitute Soul Reaper combat pass. I tuck it into my pocket then start walking out of the house. The dog follows me, but when I get down the road a ways, it's no longer there, instead the guy from the "present day" part of assassins creed is following me. (If they've mentioned his name in the game already, I didn't hear it over my loud kids) The road gets rougher and rougher the farther I walk, until it looks like something out of an apocalypse movie. I notice steam coming from a crater in the road, and rush over to it. Inside the crater is water in a huge golden basin, and I immediately recognize it as a "goddess Spring" (from Kid Icarus) The guy behind me is asking me what I'm talking about, and I tell him that the spring will heal us and I climb in fully clothed. From my seat in the spring, I can see a ruined city and wonder if we we will strong enough to stop whatever caused this destruction. This is about the last point I can remember of this dream. Not sure if I woke up then or just forgot the rest. I woke from this dream around 3 am.

Dream Two: I'm at my dead Grandfather's house. There are a lot of other people there whom I don't recognize from real life but my dream self recognized them as "the forum" which forum, I don't know! I lurk on 5 different ones on a daily basis, lol. I'm behind the shed, and I walk out from behind it and I see all kinds of large rectangular things laying on the ground. I recognize these as threads, and start wandering around to read them. I come across one in front of Grandpa's Shop that's titled "How big is your Dragon?" and I see lots of pictures of dragons, but then I also see people are treating it like a big penis joke and everyone's trying to one up each others "dragon" and that the dragons actually look like the Chinese style dragons with long snake like bodies, not European dragons with big round bodies. A man comes up to me and I'm laughing at this thread, so he reads over my shoulder. He tells me he's a mod, and had forgotten all about this thread, he was glad he had noticed someone looking at it so he could reminisce. Then he asks me how many pages the thread was now, and we start to check. We are astounded to find the thread is now 140 pages long. He laughs and says that the thread was a lot more active than he thought! Then he picks it up and starts shaking it like a rug. He tells me he has to keep the forums clean. Then I wake up and it's around 5:30, lol.

Dream Three: My daughter wakes up and wants to go into the living room. I'm still sleepy, so I get up with her to see if Grandma is in the living room. If she is, I plan to let my daughter watch TV in the living room with her and just go back to bed. When I get in the living room, the neighbors daughter is in the living room, as are two other little girls probably around 6 or 7.My grandma says she's babysitting them (my grandma hates those kids, so in hind sight that should have really made me lucid -_-) I accept this, and just tell my daughter to be good for Grandma and go back to bed. I think I woke up around 7:30 with this one.

Dream Four: I'm at a radio Station. There's a really nice DJ, and a really snobby jerk. The nice DJ has long frizzy black hair and a thin sunken face, he's not attractive physically, but his personality more than makes up for it and I find him attractive. The jerk looks like Jonah Hill, lol. The jerk is making some sort of bull shit rules that aren't fair, though I can't remember what they are off the top of my head. Apparently he can get away with it because he's the son of the radio station owner. Everyone is upset, and he's laughing about his total power over the place. I run off and find the nice dj. I'm crying, and he asks what's wrong. I tell him what a jerk the other guy is being, and ask him to do something about it because he has a lot of sway with the station. He doesn't really want to, but another guy walks up then and tells him He'll give him some Peanut Butter and Jelly cookies if he'll help the station out. The guy seems to really like the peanut butter and jelly cookies (and in the dream they're shaped like peanuts and have jelly sandwiched between two of them) because he is swayed by these cookies. We walk back into the room with the jerk DJ, and the nice DJ starts giving a speech about letting shit slide, and how you can't be so strict. Then, he surprises everyone by admitting that he is also the son of the radio station owner and that if his brother doesn't lay off, he will talk to their father and get the whole mess straightened out. Everyone cheers, then people start talking about nice things the radio station can do to help people. One woman stands up, and starts talking about winning a fight against breast cancer, but losing a breast in the process. She asks if the radio station can help her raise the money to buy a prosthesis. The Nice DJ tells her that he makes props and costume pieces for Cosplay, and could easily make her a realistic boob if she'd like. She starts crying tears of happiness, and I wake up and it's about 9.

Dream Five: My husband and I are in a used book store of some sort. There's a table with a lot of older books on it. I see a couple of smaller books on a shelf beside it that are old Sailor Moon merch. One's an art book, the other is some sort of cards set with the sailor scouts as the king/queen/jack/aces/joker. We ask the lady behind the table how much the books are, and she says $90 for the ones on the table. I'm disheartened, but my husband tells her we were asking about the books on the shelf beside the table, and she says those are only between $4-$6. I'm really happy they're so cheap, and my husband buys me both Sailor Moon books. We spend the rest of the dream pouring over them and talking about watching Sailor moon as kids and explaining to the Book seller who Sailor Moon is. Wake up from this one about 10:15.

I decided to include the times I woke up from these as a reference so I can look back and see if there's a pattern to my dream content and when the best time for me to dream is. It also gives a pretty good idea of my sleep pattern. Last night I went to sleep about 1:00 am

Dream Non-dream

There is a good chance none of this will interest you. If you wish for an adventure or some sort of tale of grandeur, then this won't tickle your fancy.

First part I was in a school. I wasn't sure what happened but I was in my high school and I saw a couple of kids get into trouble, I had a feeling of dread, they were getting lots of people in trouble. I walked to the front and saw the school cop talking to my friend. He looked me directly in the eye. Shit. I had cigarettes on me, and bud? Maybe. I just had to leave (my house is within walking distance of my HS, so I ended up leaving during passing period without discipline many many times). I walked towards my normal ditching spot, when I saw Alex come up to me. He was in my Health class 3 years ago, I haven't talked to him since (and even then not much). He asked if I knew what was going on. I said no. He said "Well would you wanna ditch with me?" Funny, I told him, he could ditch with me if he pleased, I just had to leave before I got in legal trouble.

Suddenly a picture arose in my minds eye. They blocked my ditching spot. I don't know why, I don't know how I knew, but it was indubitable. "Shit!" I exclaimed. "Come with me, were going through the courtyard." There was a courtyard in the middle that cut through the school, it was the quickest way to get from front to back. I checked my back really quick, the school cop was tailing me. Why were they interested in me? What did I do to stick out. I walked briskly through the courtyard. A teacher grabbed Alex. It would be pointless to grab him, he would get in trouble for trying to ditch, but he didn't carry anything illegal on him. Besides, he must have had some heat on him for the teacher to grab him instead of me... Although he was smaller. I opened the door farthest from the front. This door opens to the freshman hallway. There are never deans there, and despite it being the "freshman" hallway, enough upperclassmen were there to cover me from eyesight. Not to mention the hallways were short with quick turns. I lost the school cop and went out of the door running to my house.

I memory lapsed. I was on my way back to school. None of the preceding part was remembered, I only thought that my teachers would be disappointed that I had finished no work. I went the long way around school and I got onto the campus when I realized that I had a doral cigarette in my ear. Good thing I didn't go into school XD. I checked my phone to see if I had time to smoke it, or if I had to ditch it. It was 6:58. School didn't start till 7:20, I had time without a doubt. I smoked it and walked around the school (staying off campus grounds, that would be illegal).

I memory lapsed again. I was talking to my mom. I asked if I could go to Misha's house (my neighbor). She said it was fine, I walked over and he wasn't home. I asked his little brother where he was, and he said he was with my brother in X's house (I don't think X was a real neighbor of mine). I walked over to X's house to see if Misha and X wanted to go somewhere. When I got inside I saw X on his computer, and he said that Misha was upstairs. On my way up I saw four little black brothers talking. I heard Natasha ask what I was doing (by my name, she didn't know I was around the corner). The brothers all said I was drinking over around the corner. I said I wasn't drinking, but I felt stupid because I'd figured they'd assume my actions were out of drunken stupor, instead of just regular stupor. I walked over and around the corner, I saw Natasha and then she disappeared. Behind her, a blender appeared. Assuming she'd turned into a blender, I asked the blender for a hug. I looked around to see Natasha, somehow just to my left. I gave her a hug, I haven't seen her in over a week. Not a single thought of her adultery went through my mind. I was genuinely happy to see her. I turned around.

My mom had just walked in and "cracked down on the party." She heard the kids saying I was drunk, asked why I wasn't at Misha's. I explained that I had just gotten there a moment ago and she laughed and said nice try, I was going to be grounded.

I woke up with 2 thoughts. The first that my mom is giving herself unnecessary stress with her recent worries about me. She believes I am a ne'er do well because of a recent misunderstanding. This upset me. But not as much as the second thought, which was that despite Natasha's actions, I hadn't a single aversion to her in the dream. I wonder how much I care of her adultery. I wonder how much more or less others would care. To me it felt like an unfortunate show of character, a reason provided to never stay with her, although a reason never once hoped for.

I had a dream about my teacher again. I don't know why he's stuck in my head. I suppose he is kind of cute.

Anyway, in this dream we had just gotten out of class and as I was leaving he took me aside and started kissing my neck and stuff. Of course, it was very enjoyable, but it felt like it had been going on for a little bit. Like this wasn't the first time. I kept telling him he needed to be careful because we could both get into a lot of trouble, not to mention, he could lose his job.

He really didn't seem to care and kept touching me. Ahhh... thinking about it now... sorta gives me butterflies. I need to stop thinking about how cute my teacher is. If he keeps getting into my dreams I'm afraid it's going to be really weird in class for me the next couple of months.

lol I feel so badddd. I suppose every married woman has a fantasy, right? It's just a matter of not actually trying to make it happen. That would end up very embarrassing, I'm sure. Luckily, I'm not in highschool anymore and I know it's just my own imagination. I don't think this is a bad thing, since I know better than to believe it to come true.

Needless to say, it was a nice dream. I do feel a bit guilty, but hey, I wasn't lucid.... >.> right?

I fell asleep at 4am and dreamed about The Sims and one of my professors. (I'd seen this professor the other day around town and said hi, remembering that spring break is over and I go back tomorrow ). So I had gone back to class and he was trying this new thing. He wanted us to play The Sims and create ourselves or something. A starter house.

I remember thinking, really? I've been playing this game for 12 years and you want us to play the original version. (I really have been playing that long, I just counted it up and Wow, I'm a loser. lol) Anyway, in the dream I was all big-headed and knew I would be the best player there. lol. I realize how silly that sounds, but I was really excited to show my "simmin'" skills.

So I play for a little bit and remember thinking how weird the first game was since I've been playing the third for so long now. So simple and I really might as well go make myself a paper doll house and put on a pretty pink school girl dress.

So I'm sitting at this computer for a while and I'm looking around at other people playing the game. Their screens look different than mine and not in any physical way in how they appeared, but they seemed different, brighter and more new than mine. Still, not in appearance, I guess in my head.

I don't know, dreams are so weird.

Anyway, a few people start getting up and leaving and my professor is telling them goodbye, see ya thursday. I get up and say, wow, is it time to leave already? I start grabbing my things and realize that a few students had stayed and were sitting in a circular group on the floor in the middle of the room. My professor was with them and they had looked at me when I spoke. I saw that the clock on the wall read 5:42, but it wasn't a digital clock or anything so it looked a lot bigger than usual and it's a fuzzy picture, but hey, I knew the time. I realized we still had another 45 minutes of class left.

I asked him if we could go and he said yea, that's fine. I turn to leave but I notice the look on my professor's face. His eyes are bright and he's smiling at me. I stop and say, well, I guess I can hang out with you guys for a bit. I go to join the group and wake up at 6am with my son in his bed, ready to eat some breakfast.

I was actually enjoying the dream. So I was little upset to wake up from it. I really don't know why, it wasn't anything spectacular. Sometimes good dreams don't even seem all that great when you're in them, but when you wake up, you realize you were having a good time.

I need to quit playing The Sims, but they do have an interesting way of working into your dreams. When I was 12 or so my aunt had the game at her house and we didn't have a computer. I'd stay with her for a week or so every now and then and I remember getting really hooked on that game. She'd let me stay up all night and play it.

When I had gone home the next few weeks I kept having dreams about playing. I remember even at 12 that playing in the dream was a lot more fun than in real life. I knew I could do so much more with it in my dream. Interestingly enough, that's around the same time I had my first lucid dream.

When I recall the dreams I had about The Sims back then, I think I might've been lucid in a few of those. Of course, definitely not realizing what it was or how important it would be to me later on in life.

This was a really long and interesting night for me. I went to bed late and quite tired, so I couldn't think of anything related to lucid dreaming, which just made me fall asleep. I only remember now short fragments of my dreams:

1. Me staying in my classroom. About half of my class was there, along with a brother of an old friend of mine and an old classmate of mine, both of which weren't supposed to be there. The desks were arranged in a weird manner and they seemed to have round edges (while in reality they are just rectangular benches). A classmate of mine was sitting in my seat and he told me that about half the class wanted to go on a specific trip, but I knew that was untrue because most of them felt forced to go, being afraid of the teachers.

2. I was walking with my girlfriend, and we were going towards some sort of family party (with my family). As we were almost there, my phone rang, and it was my girlfriend. It felt really strange that she was right next to me, and I was also talking on the phone with her (the person near me wasn't actually talking on the phone, so basically I was interacting with some clones or something), and I was wondering whether she was jealous because I talked to this clone of hers at the same time.
When we got there I saw an older person whom I don't know that was really drunk and he said he was just "enjoying the moment while it lasted". I felt quite embarassed.

3. The next thing I know I was in some sort of ghetto-ish area. It was very dimly lit, quite dirty, and there was really no one around. It slightly resembled something you can see in a Fallout game. I realised that something was wrong,and that I had no idea how I gotten there, so I told myself I must have been dreaming. I looked at my arm and two of my fingers were flashing (appearing and disappearing). I realised it was a dream, and I knew that the first thing I had to do was calm myself down and stabilize. Still, I had absolutely NO control on it, and my body started flying upwards. As I saw the whole area under me, the lights became really brighter and I woke up (in paralysis, seeing a skeleton sitting on top of me. More on this here.

After I got out of paralysis, I turned around in my bed and went to sleep again, hoping I would sleep quietly until morning.
The next thing I know, I'm somewhere in my town, close to a shopping mall and I spontaneously realise that I'm dreaming. I hold my nose and I can easily breathe through it, and once again I know that I HAVE to stabilize and calm down, but my body instantly starts flying upwards. The lights get too bright, I blink repeatedly in my dream and wake up (not paralyzed, this time).

This exact dream happens again two more times, each time in a different area of my town, and with a different RC in them. In my first one I somewhere in my neighbourhood, and I looked at my hand and saw 6 fingers, so I knew I was dreaming. Instantly, the same thing happened again, I flied upwards and woke up.

Then, for the third time, I get a very similar dream (in another part of town, close to a school). This time I see my fingers flashing again, I get lucid, start flying,and wake up.

I really hope I'll be able to control everything better from now on...

I am really frustrated with my dream recall right now.
I'm not even stressed or anything, which would explain the lack of recall.
Usually when I get adequate sleep, do the occasional wbtb, and try to remember my dreams when I wake up, my dream recall gets pretty decent.
When I'm doing well I often remember 5 or more dreams per night.


Looking at my recent dj notes though:

17.03.2012
No recall.

18.03.2012
No recall.

19.03.2012
No recall.

20.03.2012
No recall.

21.03.2012
No recall.

22.03.2012
In the U.S. walking through a pet shop. I find bearded dragons which I like.
One of them has a really strong green skin color, must be a rare mutation.
I then spot at least 15 pairs of eyes on him. Huh? How weird.

23.03.2012
No recall.

24.03.2012
No recall.

25.03.2012
No recall.

26.03.2012
I hear my father coming into my room to wake me up whilst still dreaming.
I cannot recall the dream though, only that I heard him come in...

Brain, why u no recall dreams? >_<

I stopped doing DJ entries on this site about six months ago now. I came back to a DJ so horribly Disorganized and poorly written that the only real option seems to be to just clean this out and start a new account. I will replace all of the DJ entries with "deleted" But don't worry I'm copying them into a folder on my hard drive.

Some might say it's good to have a messy dream journal, but I personally don't like how any of these dreams were worded or came out. I categorized this as "side notes" because it mostly has to do more with my movement to another account than lucid dreaming at all.

DV site itself only does a soft delete. I really want these off the web completely.

So I will be coming back to this site very soon on a new account. I really like this DJ system. ;)

3/18/12
I dream I am driving home from some sort of event. I can't recall the event, I just remember being in a large warehouse-like place. I left, and then entered my Dad's car, who was apparently home already. My brother sits in the passenger seat, and I take the driver's seat. I start the car, and drive off. As I drive, I dream like a total numbskull. I drive through yards, off road, on sidewalks, and I recall running over a wooden fence. When we get home, my brother is tattling to my Dad about my terrible driving. The two of them leave now. I become lucid. However it's very very vivid. A friend of mine came over, and that's all I remember.*

NOTE: I don't quite remember where the dream started, or ended, but I recall this one part of it.

I dream I'm sitting in the back of a black van with some friends(not people I know in waking life though). It's a nice sunny day outside, just like most of my dreams. We're driving through an urban place, and we come to a four way intersection. On the sidewalk to my left, there's a man, who pulls out a gun. He shoots another man, who goes down. I'm staring at the scene in shock. Another man comes up to the shooter to stop him, but he is also shot. A man who walks by is also shot. I'm now scared, because I believe he may open fire on the van I'm in. The police now show up, to the right of the van. They have multiple cars, and make a blockade. The shooter opens fire on them, but he is a bit unsuccessful. The police wait for him to run out of ammo, then they rush over and arrest him.

That's all I remember.

A black panther was growling behind / under / beside my bed. He was very close and very angry. I was just waiting for him to attack.

In my dream, I was in bed and had been sleeping. I was now trying to open my eyes, but I couldn't.

Then, the panther was a cat. I still couldn't open my eyes, but the growling was now the purring of a cat. I could feel it's cool breath on my face.

I think there is some connection with FA's and becoming lucid. I felt close to lucidity in this dream, and I considered this an FA. I'll keep tabs on it.

March 7, 2012
I didn't write this dream down right away so I'm just going to summarize

The first part of the dream is extremely fuzzy. All I can remember is the fact that I faked my own death.

During the second part I am at this large football field. Off to the side are some tables. I, and a few others, are wearing party party hats and other party attire, most likely for a birthday. I remember gloating to them about how my parents thought I was dead

I then see some girl on the football field being a bully to someone else. I feel enraged and have a strong urge to beat her up, so I follow her. After a short while I manage to get near enough to punch her, and I stop when she is knocked out. After that I was all excited and proud.

The dream is fuzzy after that but I can recall flames and disaster as well as the fact that I was over 100 years old :/