side notes

I forgot a lot of non lucids. I'll try to remember some as I write these down.

Jamie Dreams

Early in the month.

3rd person view dream of Jamie sitting by herself in a real comfy looking chair. She appears to be arguing with herself. But then I hear she is talking to voices. The closer I listen the more the voices sound like me. Some are negative and some are positive. She seems annoyed in upset. I try to get through, "This is MY voice." I say something like that. But all the voices argue I am a liar and they are the real voice. While I find her kind of adorable arguing with all of these voices, I know personally how annoying this can be *please lock me up.*

In one dream I am in a bedroom with Jamie. I lie down like we are like a couple going to bed. She looks at me and says, "No." In another dream I find some ugly woman with glasses and decide to try to sleep with her. I hear Jamie's voice in my head say, "Robert no!." Is that what you you wanted, can't have you AND no one else? kidding.

In one dream I am with my dad and we are walking around a city. We go up some steps to a c train platform where my dead grandma from 2010 is. She says to me, "I hope you know what you are doing with this girl." Implying that she doesn't like Jamie. At the top of the step I kind of victory jump. It's like my grandma is a part of those annoying spirits who are telling me to ,"Move on." from Jamie, are finally giving up.

After about a week or so of Jamie not showing up in dreams I then remember one of her where I am trying to light a smoke. My lighter isn't working. Jamie comes up with her own lighter but can't get hers to work as either.Hehe she's trying to steal chelsea's thunder of dream cigarette lighting capabilities. Well: YOU FAILED!!! Really appreciate the effort tho :-)

Some dream where Jamie isn't talking to me and driving away in her car. I'm standing with a woman, maybe her mother, She says, "She really likes you, you know." Really? Why isn't she saying anything?

Another dream where me and Jamie are driving in her car. It's like the old dreams from last year. Can't remember the context of the conversation but she says, "Suicide is never an option." WOW. She's come a long way since the , "Let's commit suicide together," Dreams of mid last year. Good job. Was I being suicidal in the dream? I know I'm not, but I may have been being overdramatic in the dream.

A dream where Jamie is merged with my body or something. Might have been because I was watching a really dumb show on netflix called, "Z Nation." a Walking Dead like zombie tv series that doesn't take itself seriously at all. Unlike the Walking Dead which Is why I can't stand it. Anyway in the episode some Hippy dude takes weird drugs so he can spirit walk inside someone and take control of their body. Maybe I saw Jamie in the dream and asked her to try it out. She kept trying to make me aroused in my own body, maybe to experience the sensation for herself. I get to the point where I almost burst and then ask her to stop. she does.

Got back from seeing Alita: Battle Angel (Loved it by the way.) But after seeing it with my brother I had dreams about it. But it was Jamie. She was trying to put herself in a cyborg body like from the movie. The nurse lady from the movie was there and was saying that the body was having trouble merging with the body because she had no core... Very Strange. I know Jamie had once tried to convince me that she has BPD. and I've read that such people are said to lack a certain emotional center or core. not sure if that's what the nurse meant though. Interesting.


Last dream. Was just me and Jamie lying in bed going to sleep. We may have been groping each other not sure... But, seems she is getting over whatever it was that was bothering her.

Comments: This periods' dreams Jamie seems less happy than the end of december and january. Not sure what the cause of this is. She is resuming some of her affection though which I appreciate. That says it isn't me that's a problem. but she is having problems on her own that she is dealing with.



Other Dreams

Bunch of non lucids where a short blonde girl sometimes with long hair and sometimes with short hair keeps hitting on me. In one dream she makes out with me. these came after me and my brother went to a short concert in calgary where I kept seeing cute blond girls. Some were staring at me and smiling but they were all with guys, so I didn't think anything of it.

Kissing

Dreamed I was exploring some large building with some dark skinned girl. We wound up in a bedroom and started kissing on a bed. She tasted kind of sour, (IRL I have a slight cold so was just probably tasting my phlegm,) I suddenly Had this feeling like I was cheating on someone possibly Jamie. I stopped for a second but the girl looked at me with such wanting eyes that I resumed and tried to ignore the feeling. As if to stop it a bunch of guys manifested in the room on beds. They had donut boxes with treats in them and they started arguing with me. The girl left the room.

Yelling

I kept accusing some girl in my inner world, (Mine and Asuka's daughter i think.) of stealing my DVDs or something. I was filled with rage. Asuka said it wasn't the girl but she has no idea where the DVDs went. I checked the boxes again and they had a volume missing.

*clap* BONUS DREAM *clap*

This one I had a couple months ago. A dream with Jamie I forgot to write down. In this dream we are in The Dark Tower universe in Hambry. Me and Jamie are walking around the town and she is making fun of the accent of the townspeople. She's saying, "So it is," and ,"So it was." Then she laughs to herself.

I went to sleep at 1:30 and woke up at around 4 am.

On my first dream i was on vacations in Uruguay. I was in a house with my family. Both my parents were there. They were playing loud music, and each one's music claimed a half of the house. It was interestesting not to hear them get mixed together. My father was taking a shower and i went to his bedroom where the desk is and i grabbed his almost finished marijuana joint. I decided i was going to make a new one and include the remainings of that one. My dad comes out of shower, and i could note he was high. He told me he was high and that he was enjoying it, but i also noted he was still like tense. Anyway he had plans on what to do while high, which surprised me because it was his first time smoking, so i went on with my things.
On my way out of the bedroom i was walking like the living hall of my mother's aunt Teresa F. There i encountered my older sister who was also about to smoke and trip on stuff like the wind (it was a bit windy outside but in a nice way, like refreshing). Then i go outside with my sister, and some neighborhood kids want to play with her with a football but we were going to take a walk (besides i don't think she'd have played anyway). It starts raining, we are still outside but we don't walk far, we just go to the backyard which is actually quite big now. When we went outside our house turned to be a Estancia (it's a countryside). My dad goes outside and he starts talking to the kids, but he was alone in the sense that my sister and me weren't there to hear what he had said. Then i go inside the house to finish this joint i never got to make. And when i come into the kitchen i received news that my dad has been arrested. I assumed that he was talking with the children about weed and perhaps police saw him high and maybe they thought he was trying to sell weed to the kids. I laughed at it and quickly thought of a defense so he'd get released from prision (it was 5 years of jail if found guilty). The defense i thought was that he didnt have weed in him (cause i took it) so even though he was high he wasn't selling anything. And personal consumption is not criminalized, well at least not after you have consumed it. But that's in Argentina and we were in Uruguay!

I came back from my vacations in Uruguay on saturday (2 days ago) and a few times my sister and i smoked weed. But i got weed so much in my mind because: 1. we were trying to get some before i came back from Uruguay, which we didn't. 2. I watched a Netflix series about Murder Mountain. 3. When i came here i thought of giving my father weed in some brownies, so he'd try it before i left to Cordoba to study.

I woke up, went to bathroom, then went back to bed and i slept until 9:00 am.

I dreamt i was sitting in a restaurant in Bs As. The restaurant was small and poor, seemed to be a family business. My table was outside. I was with my phone and some guy comes right next to my table and threatens the owner (who had a white apron) with a gun to give him the money. I thought of getting up and leaving, but i didn't know where to go so i didn't. The owner gives him the money, and then the robber comes towards me. He points the gun at me and i knew the logic thing would be to give him my cellphone so instantly i slide it though the table, i seemed to do it calmly (that's how i think it looked) but i was outraged (and i sensed that my intention was more of like throwing it rather than passing it). I saw he still stood there, so he wanted everything and apparently there were no cops around (i was in the most dangerous neighborhood, so that didn't surprise me). I took out my wallet from my pocket, and i didn't give it to him. Instead i opened it and gave him a bunch of paper money and he left (didn't give him all i had, just all i could grab in a quick manner). I remained there for a bit longer watching my surroundings. There were people fighting, there were more robbing... it wasn't a good place to stay.
I got up and decided to leave. I went through people's porches, but that was ok. Then i find myself somewhere in Córdoba and my girlfriend finds me [I don't have a gf]. I told her i was robbed, that i didn't have my cellphone. We were having an event right there and now, it was my uncle's engagement or something. We went inside and she starts talking to me what we had to do, but we were close and kissing, and i knew what we'd do after the event . I got 9 messages (i think in my gf's cellphone) from the robber that he hacked 9 of my accounts, and i saw a discord screenshot. I asked my girlfriend if she could take care of my accounts while i went home to dress but she said no because she had to be in the event to let them know i was still getting ready. She started to hurry me more but i was worried of my accounts... and the first entrant was about to begin the event and that's when i decided to quit, i wasn't dressed and i was still there and it would take at least like an hour to get home, dress and come back. But then i see my uncle's wife in the entry room sad and angry because she was also cancelling. She was cancelling because i was. Then my uncle comes smiling and he says "we're not cancelling. We can start whenever we like, we have all day. So go home, get dressed and come back. We'll wait for you." Since he told me in such a good mood i was going to do it, and forget about the accounts until later in the day. Btw while he was speaking i noticed he had white teeth, they were very bright. Then i woke up.

When i went to Uruguay it was my first time travelling out of my province alone. So i was worried i was going to get robbed at Bs As, specially because the bus station is one of the places where most crime happen.
The first time, when i went, it was early morning. I had to walk from the Bus station to the port which was like 10 blocks away. It was pretty chill.
But on my way back it was night, right after sunset. And again i had to walk from the port to the bus station. This time i was more worried and i think this influenced this last dream i had. But when i went even though it was disgusting to see such misery and precariousness, i didn't have any trouble. There were a lot of people too which were coming and going from the bus station and i saw police on a block which seemed to be the most dangerous.

So this was a dream where I had Control of Letters As input For Hyper potential

I was searching for some medical equipment in a doctor's pc, idk what.

The dream was fragmented, had bad, short sleep last night but vividness was better. I am convinced it's because of "nofap" as I head from too many sources that sexual energy is a must for awareness.

Harry Potter?

Haven't had a HP dream for a while. This one I'm on the back of a dragon following Harry who is also on a dragon that is Voldermort. Harry Jumps off the dragon mid air and throws something on the dragon's back. It looks like food. Harry floats down to the ground by himself. The dragon rolls whatever Harry through down it's back and flips it's tail up causing the object to float a bit and then the dragon eats it. The dragon then loses it's form and turns into voldermort on the ground. I'm following close behind them on a field. I see someone near the field pull up grass and it turns out all the grass is a fake plastic mesh sheet and he begins pulling it up. I keep watching Harry go up to Voldermort and they finally face eachother. They are about to duel when I wake up.

Jamie is quiet

Just a dream of sitting with Jamie on some steps. she is quiet and not talking but I have my arm around her.

Not this again.
Okay, before I started logging dreams again I did have a couple where I was working at Wal Mart again and Jamie was there, but was dissociating around me. These were extremely uncomfortable dreams. In this dream I am workign there and see her and say, "Hi," to her. She looks startled and uncomfortable, then makes an exit quickly. One of my mcdonald's co workers is there Chris. I start talking to him for a bit and the dream fades.

Steps again

I see Jamie on the steps again. She is totally quiet and not looking at me. I ask her a few questions or something and she doesn't respond. Just seems to ignore me. I ask her if she wants me to leave her alone for a while. She looks concerned about that and then pulls me close into a really tight hug. It feels nice. I guess that's a ,"no."

Had a lucid somewhere but forgot it.

No.

Had a dream I was in the fortnite game in fatal fields With roland from the Dark tower. Heis frantically searching for a gun. Dara emmerges from the house and hands him a gun. She says she made it herself. The gun looks like it's made of pipes made from under taps. Roland draws it so quickly that I can't almost see and shoots a bush. The bush explodes as if it were in game. I think it's cool. I ask Dara if I can have a similar gun. We walk into the house and she shows me how to make one. What's she doing back in my dreams...

Here is a Jamie dream I forgot to add to last entry.

Voyager

Me and Jamie are wandering around Voyager from the TV show. We are in a turbo lift but only a small window opens. Janeway is on the other side. She is nice and talks to us but tells us to go around. the turbo lift goes down and we wind up in some construction area. We find staircases and go up them and wind up in the mess hall, where there is an alien race of Jocks or something. Me and Jamie just find a seat and wait and that's all I remember.


More recent.

Laundry room.

Asuka makes me do laundry and for a joke, she is playing a song by nirvana about being in a laundry room. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zknlwXuGJUg I was kind of annoyed because I hadn't heard the song in a decade. Jamie comes up behind me and I didn't notice she was there. she says, "What song is this?" she was asking in the same tone of when I played guitar for her and she kept asking ,"Who's this by? Are you making that up?"

Voices

I am with Jamie but she seems angry. There is a semi-invisible demonic creature on her shoulder whispering in her ear. He lustfully whispers to her. "negative thoughts, negative thoughts, negative thoughts..." She doesn't seem aware of it at all. "I hate you!" she says looking at me.

Annoying guide.

Some tall guy with glasses comes into my inner world. He says,"You need to let her go." implying Jamie? Fuck no.

Church

With Jamie feeling better we both go to a church to seek Jesus out for some help. He is not there. But we sit down anyway on a pugh. It turns into a bed with blankets and we both fall asleep on it.

Chelsea

I'm on facebook and C has a post I like or something and when I comment on it. Jamie comes out of the computer and says, "I don't want you talking to this girl." I try to explain she's only a friend and she's already with someone. I think jamie calmed down. I'm not sure.



Thumbnail confusion.

Jamie makes me look at her profile picture on facebook. She changes the picture to her and some guy giving me the middle finger. Maybe my brother because one of my first entries with Jamie I am in a parking lot giving her and my brother the middle finger as they walk by and aignore me. I've noticed that a lot of recent Jamie dreams seem to reflect my early ones. Like in one entry I am missing jamie by a balcony and thinking about having a smoke with her. And recently she's explaining things to me while we are both on a balcony smoking.
Interesting.

In another dream she is looking at my youtube channel and I have thumbnails with a purple background. Recently while awake I checked our old facebook messages and she indeed changed her picture with a purple background. Very Strange...

Jamie explains.

I'm in some high rise apartment building at night. It reminds me of Tilted Towers from fortnite. I am chasing some people or something when I notice Jamie on an outside landing. She's wearing a mcdonald's manager uniform and for a second I think it's Emily from mcdonald's. but when she starts talking I recognise Jamie. She keeps explaining that she wants to start having real conversations or contact someday, but she needs to sort out some things in her life first. but she does have the desire. I ask, "Do you remember dreams about me when awake?" "Yes, I remember kisses" I'm thinking back to something short I left out last month. where I was nodding off on a bus and fell asleep for a split second and for a short second jamie kissed me. I ask if there's anything I can do (ahould I message her again)" She says no, In fact no one should feel pressured to make contact or send messages. I agree to that.


Short lucid

I become lucid in a room. Some east indian girl is there and I spend most of the lucid trying to convince her it's a dream. She keeps saying, "No,No, that's not real don't talk about that."

More demons

I'm with Jamie at my house and she starts yelling at me. "Don't touch me." Asuka runs and looks at her. "She has another creature on her." Asuka says and pulls the creature off jamie that I couldn't even see until she grabs it. Then Asuka throws it outside. Asuka does something to heal Jamie for a bit. Jamie grabs my hand and says, "Do you want to hold hands?" and smiles. Me and Asuka just laugh at her, in a good way.

Boring

I'm wandering a large store like Canadian Tire or something. But the place has all been re arranged. I wander to an outside area where a bunch of farm animals are. I chase ducks and rodents around a grassy area.

Shut up

That annoying guide shows up again this time when Jamie is around. He keeps saying we have different paths to go on. I tell him hell no, This is the one I'm on right now and I'm not moving from it. He asks if it's such a good path why aren't we together? and points to Jamie. I say I don't know. Maybe it's because we both have severe emotional problems and don't want to harm one another. Maybe she doesn't have room for me in her life yet. He said maybe it has something to do with past life karma, Karma to work out with soul mates. I notice Jamie's eyes then and she looks really sad, i think there may have been a fight earlier, not sure. I said I don't believe in Past Lives. I believe in Jesus so there's only this life and the heaven he has planned. The guide looks flustered at that and says. Where was Jesus when you sought him last? he wasn't even there? I say sometimes Jesus is silent, it's even in the bible. And, where spirits and guides like you have previously told me to give up Jesus came into my dreams and blessed me and her. He's the only one who seems to respect our free will unlike you guides And he helped us when she was possessed in a dream, he put obvious work into us unlike you guys. And go ahead, send me your BS soul mates. I've met some before and weren't even single, or even in my country. How many more deal breakers are you guys going to send me? Jesus Even turned his head away from me when you guys threw Dara at me, so guess what? I gave up on that. And Chelsea? She's not even single and you guys kept throwing me into her dreams when jamie was in trouble. And you know what I find it funny that while you're here telling me to let go Jamie is getting attacked by demons in dreams. you know what I think you're all demons... I was ranting like that the whole dream I think.

At morning I was really cozy in bed ,so I thought I'll just attempt a wild and try to find that sweet point of balance between consciousness and relaxation...
And somehow I found that goldilocks zone of WILD.
I observed that when I fall asleep it feels like if my eyeballs get under a gentle pressure ,and it feels like I'm focusing into the far horizon of space... and thats when things start to form, and then suddenly I found myself in an empty room.
The dream was lackey still butI didnt care, I called out for N ...repeated her name a few times , thought of her, and then the dream dissolved and I floated up into this kinda fog, void...and started to see a picture...of a room, a messy one, and a door infront opening to another room...and then something else I don't remember... And then I found myself again in an empty house, I went out and found myself in a suburban neighborhood situationed on the lower part of a hill, mountain.
It looked nice , but it was made of the same kind of buildings that are in my neighborhood so I realized that I'm still in my dream... and then I woke up

I dreamt of her after a long time
I don't know why
it brought up new thoughts
I want to forget

Friday, 14 December 2018.

Reading time (optimized): 4 min. Readability score: 49.



In choosing to ride in a taxi in the dream state, whether in subliminal, liminal, or concurrent dream self modes, I am relinquishing reticular activating system mediation to the preconscious and the emerging consciousness dynamics. The resulting preconscious simulacrum is an incidental factor of linear vestibular system correlation. It is a result of my dream self’s implied passivity in initiating the return to consciousness and the resolving of the illusory nature of physicality at the apex of the waking process. The taxi driver is a projected (rather than inherited) form of linear vestibular system correlation. Virtually any vehicle stems from the subliminal, liminal, or concurrent status of illusory physicality while sleeping, and while there is a lack of viable awareness of where my body is and its orientation.

To reveal this process, I will include a list of some of the taxi dreams I presently have online, though this is a work in progress, as my online dream journal is nowhere near being a complete representation of my dreaming history.

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From dream #: 2,834-02 (age 13, “Overpass Mishap”). The taxi driver in this dream, an elderly black male, was known to me in real life. In rising beyond the median of the dreaming process, the taxi ascends an overpass. My dream begins to lose cohesion as we are at the peak, and the overpass seems to either quickly fall or vanish as I simultaneously phase through the roof of the taxi, effortlessly flying up into the sky. As I look down, it all looks like a miniature model, the taxi about the size of a Matchbox car. There is no “meaning” here. It is simply my infra-self responding to the enigmatic space of the dreaming process.

From dream #: 1,195-02 (age 9, “My Little Cane”). In one of many segments in this very long dream, I am kidnapped by two men and taken into a taxi that actor Ricardo Montalban is driving. He is in charge of my kidnapping, intent on stealing my cane due to its dream-control-relevant dynamics. In a short time, I deliberately become invisible and phase through the roof of the taxi, flying to another location. Ultimately, this taught me about the crucially domineering nature of the preconscious and its simulacra in reticular activating system mediation, as the waking process is a biological necessity. The outcome was that I became ghostlike and remained annoyed by my lack of conscious self identity in the dream state, based on my inability to discern my physical body and its orientation as I sleep. There is a subliminal factor of my cane being analogous to Aaron’s rod. The core reticular formation aspect is a snake as the waking alert factor (though there is no direct snake association in this dream).

From dream #: 1-02 (age 6, “Invisible in a Taxi”). In this dream, the taxi driver is actor Ernest Borgnine. My dream sustains enigmatic space to the degree where, not only am I phasing from the taxi, through walls, and back to my bed, and back to the taxi, the taxi phases through walls of commercial buildings now and then. I do not have money for the fare, but I manage to stay unnoticed by the driver. The subliminal awareness of being asleep in bed is inherent, which is why the preconscious is not domineering, though this changes when my dream self tries to sustain my dream for too long.

From dream #: 1,513-02 (age 10, “Frank N. Stein”). In this dream, I am on the street between my elementary school and the playground, the taxi slowly going east. I soon see that Frankenstein’s monster is the driver. He turns around to look at me, but I do not feel threatened. Beyond, to my left, I see lightning inside my otherwise dark classroom (though I had seen it earlier before getting in the taxi). Lightning is a factor of increasing consciousness activity and implies the activation of the emerging consciousness (by way of the preconscious in liminal space) as Frankenstein’s monster came to life and “awakened” from lightning.

From dream #: 10,591-01 (age 34, “Winona’s Taxi”). The taxi driver is Winona Ryder. She is annoying as the preconscious tends to be, to initiate the emerging consciousness essence. In this case, the smoke serves as an association with the passivity of the dream self and the lack of conscious self identity within the dream state (in subliminal modes).

From dream #: 18,437-03 (age 56, “An Impossible Taxi Ride”). In this dream, the taxi as relevant to linear vestibular system correlation transmutes to nonlinear. As a result, the taxi goes up and down several staircases until reaching the driver’s apartment on presumably the second floor. (The driver is an unfamiliar man.) From here, there is a situation where he believes a wasp has flown from inside a big irregular rock, but I affirm there is no danger. The wasp represents the transmutation of the previous process and is autosymbolic of the increase of neuronal energy.

From dream #: 18,382-05 (age 56, “A Spider in a Taxi”). In this dream, secondary factors of vestibular system correlation come into play. A spider (depending on the nature of the dream) is often a negative subliminal association with the human hand, in this case, stemming from my annoyance at high cab fares (and handing the cab driver “too much” money), particularly as I crush the spider with the edge of my wallet. A wallet typically holds identification cards and can be a factor of expressing conscious self will.

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To summarize:

Taxi (or any vehicle): Analogous to the body, which is imaginary in the dream state (illusory physicality, orientation, and destination).

Taxi driver: Typically the simulacrum of preconscious activity (by way of the reticular activating system), analogous to the emerging consciousness remaining passive of resolving the illusory physicality of the dream state. (See the examples above where my dream self deliberately abandons this process by phasing out of the vehicle and flying, the final stage of resolving vestibular system dynamics.)

---

I got lucid twice tonight. I have been a bit stressed out all day, so I honestly thought I would just pass out when I went to bed. But on the contrary, I hit the lucid jackpot twice tonight. Again it was DILDs coming in clutch. You know I find them a bit like rolling the dice (up to chance if you catch onto the dream or not). Buuuuuttttt they seem more and more reliable lol. Well, both times I got lucid, it was by RCing in a dream bed. The first dream I was about to go to bed in a camp area, and the second dream I was about to go to bed in a hotel.
I honestly forgot 90% of the first lucid dream, since I went straight back to sleep after it lol.... But the second lucid dream was vivid as fuck, and a couple of minutes long. The coolest thing was, that in the second lucid dream, I hit my head on a wall, real hard. And I expected to wake up, but I didn't. Then I thought to myself that the pain I felt, felt like it would in waking life. Interesting. The content of the dreams don't matter...
But on a side note, whenever I ask dream characters for help, they seem to help me out lol. I like that hehe.

Well.... Dilds saving the day(night) again 🤣

Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation – wake/dream visuals/visions

2018-12-11 Biblical surgery and alien eviction leads through death to a search for stronger communication with my stomach, realised through talking to a white horse/camel.

This entry will be written in Danish as I intend to use it in therapy.

Drømmen starter med at jeg ser et opslag på Facebook. Dette er et som Casper Møller har delt og er et billede og en tekst af 1:1 revelations (kan ikke huske navnet) med en mand der ligger på en mellemting mellem en sarkofag og et operationsbord. Det har en meget stærkt tema om Lucifer, hans fald og periodiske genopstandelse før Jesus vender tilbage. Billedet er også en video og jeg klikker på den og en stemme går i gang med at læse teksten op.

Mens teksten læses op suges jeg ind I scenariet. Jeg bliver til en dæmonisk skikkelse, der ligner en klassisk grå alien fra diverse film. Det er mig der opererer på manden der ligger på bordet. Der er en forholdsvis ondskabsfuld stemning, som dog skifter I løbet af forløbet. På en eller anden måde stopper den her alien/jeg op og får ændret situationen og gennemfører ikke operationen. Faktisk kommer en anden alien ind I billedet og ser ud til at glæde sig til at deltage, men den første begynder at slå sig selv I stykker og på grund af et eller andet han har lavet på operationsbordet betyder det at den nye tilkommer også begynder at gå I stykker.

Dette får dem begge til at flygte. De flygter ud af lange og smukke gange, der er rødlige og har et royalt udseende, og mens de flygter ses der billeder af maget muskuløse mænd og kentauere der bliver vækket – på en eller anden måde med fornyet gejst på grund af rumvæsnernes flugt – og jager rumvæsnerne ud.

Scenariet skifter hurtigt til at se paladset udenfor. Det virker til at finde sted på en anden planet, men det er lyst og det ser meget æstetisk og majestætisk ud. Ud fra det sted hvor den lange gang ville være kommer nu et gylden sfærisk fartøj, som er rumvæsnernes. Det beskyder byen under det med nogle gyldne laser stråler, men besvares så rigeligt af byens blå laser stråler og forsvinder til sidst.

Der skippes.

Jeg ligger udenfor ved en svømmepøl, jeg ved blot at jeg ligger og der er en fornemmelse af at ting “stopper”. Dette finder sted et par gange. Vejret er grålig og det virker til at det trækker op til regn, selvom det har en sydlandsk feriestemning over sig. Der sidder fire mennesker foran mig, hvor en af dem er min mor. Muligvis min kusine, min far og en fjerde ubekendt. Min mor fortæller.

“Nåh, han er i gang med hans døds-process” og insinuerer at det bare skal have lov til at fortsætte.

Jeg er meget forvirret hver gang jeg vågner og det er svært helt at beskrive hvad der sker. Min bevidsthed fortætter ligesom og jeg føler mig stadig som mig selv, men det er som om der er noget der stopper og som om at det hele stivner til og jeg falder ind I mig selv.

Da det er ved at være overstået vender min mor sig imod mig og krammer mig, på en kvælende og klam måde, som gør at jeg bliver nødt til at skubbe hende væk. Hun spørger mig: “Du gennemgik din døds-process, det var meget spændende, hvor mange gange døde du?” hvortil jeg svarer “Det ved jeg ikke helt, måske 3-5”.

Da jeg svarer dette er vi nu indenfor I et hotel, med et meget ru gulv med små sten der har en gummiagtig karakter at gå på. Det hele er meget blåligt og jeg siger. “Jeg ved ikke helt hvor jeg er, det er enormt forvirrende det hele, det eneste jeg kan se er at jeg er I et blåt hotel, jeg aner ikke hvorfor eller hvor lang tid vi har været her.” Jeg kan ikke huske om min mor rent faktisk spørger mig om jeg kan huske mit værelsesnummer, men jeg siger I hvert fald “jeg bor på værelse 422”, hvortil min søster og mor griner en smule og en af dem siger: “Nej du bor på værelse 527”.

Jeg føler mig ikke stødt over deres latter, men finder en trappe jeg kan gå op af der kan tage mig til mit værelse. Den første trappe går ikke højt nok op, mens den anden faktisk går højt nok op og også indikerer at mit værelse ligger lige rundt om hjørnet. Problemet er blot at der er en glasplade der fungerer som et bord lige overfor trappen I hjørnet der blokkerer, eller I det mindste gør det enormt besværligt og måske endda lidt farligt, min vej. Endvidere når jeg kigger hen til venstre I retningen af mit værelse kan jeg se at vejen er spæret af en glasdør og bagved dem står der nogle lamper der indikerer at den vej er brugt som et hyggehjørne og vil gøre det hele endnu mere besværligt. Så jeg vælger i stedet at gå ned igen.

Jeg går udenfor og har min madras med som jeg normalt sover på. Den skal børstes af og det går op for mig at der er nogle eller en person(er) der ofte går over den og efterlader en masse sand på den, så den skal rystes. Jeg kan også mærke en smule irritation omkring det, men ved ikke helt hvem det er.

Herefter skifter scenen til at jeg nu ligger på min madras på mit værelse I hovedgård, som det ser ud. Kaiseren – eller I hvert fald en mørk skikkelse med hans energi – kommer ind og giver mig en dåse danskvand. Jeg åbner den og begynder ivrigt at drikke da jeg er super tørstig. Kaiseren siger “Pas på med at drikke for meget, det kan være giftigt”. Jeg drikker – lidt trodsigt – halvdelen af dåsen hurtigt, og sætter den fra mig og siger “Det gør ikke noget det gør ikke noget for mig det her” og kan mærke at jeg stadig er ekstremt tørstig og tør om munden.

Jeg hopper ud af sengen og går ud af en dør og befinder mig nu I en baggård. Der er en have-lignende stemning, det er lidt mørkt og der står en palme I midten af græsset. En ældre kvinde med kort krøllet gråt hår og store runde briller – mens jeg skriver dette kommer en tredje association ind – som minder om min Moster og Kirsten, min terapeut, men også en klient jeg har – Lotte.

Hun siger “Dennis du bliver nødt til at forbinde dig med din mave, den kan nok være lidt svær at komme I kontakt med fordi du putter så meget lort I den.” Jeg svarer: “Jamen det lyder mega fedt, jeg vil vildt gerne I mere kontakt med min mave” og tænker straks på de nylige spændinger, smerter og ukendte emotionelle påvirkninger jeg har oplevet.

Jeg begynder at blive lucid her da jeg begynder at kalde “Mave! Mave!” hvor den kvindelige figur stopper op og siger: “Du skal følge vinden, hvis du vil finde hvad du søger”. Hun får implicit fortalt at jeg blot skal finde den retning hvor der er direkte modvind hvis jeg vil etablere kontakt til min mave igen.

Jeg er vildt begejstret for dette trick og kan mærke at jeg kan bruge det I fremtidige drømme også. Jeg drejer mig rundt – imod uret – og finder ud af at der hvor vinden blæser mig lige I fjæset er der en lille sti imellem to bygninger der leder ud til vejen. Jeg begynder at gå derhen og ser en strandpromenade, som minder om den jeg har været på så mange gange I Thailand, og mens jeg går råber jeg “Mave!” gentagen.

Jeg ser en Raptor gå forbi udenfor og bliver en smule skeptisk. Jeg snupper en kort pause og fortsætter så. Nu kommer jeg ud og kan se ned på vejen – jer er pludselig I et hotelværelse – og der går en masse spændende mennesker, dyr og andre objekter jeg kunne interagere med dernede.

Jeg råber igen “Mave!” og ser til venstre, hvor der går en T-Rex, som jeg jo har historie med, og træder et skridt tilbage. Jeg står nu I et relativt lille og mørkt hotelværelse, foran vinduet der er firkantet og med klart sol lys skinnende igennem. Jeg beslutter mig for at hvis det er T-Rexen jeg skal snakke med for at komme I kontakt med min mave, så må det være sådan det er u-anset hvor bange jeg måtte være for det.

Så jeg træder ud på taget og ser pludselig at der er længere ned end jeg havde regnet med. Jeg bliver lidt bange for bare at hoppe ud I det, så sætter mig ned I lotus stilling indtil jeg begynder at svæve ned. Jeg kan mærke på vej derned at der er lidt meget fart på, det er nok til at hjertet lige slår et ekstra slag uden jeg er bange for at slå mig. Dog fornemmer jeg at jeg har mistet overblikket så meget at den vej jeg gerne ville ned på med de mange dyr og mennesker ikke vil være der, fordi jeg har mistet mit fokus. Jeg tænker dog også at det ikke vil gøre noget.

Da jeg endelig lander ser jeg at den vej jeg var på er væk. Den jeg står på er mindre befærdet og det er pludselig blevet nat, men det er faktisk stadig den samme strandpromenade. Jeg tænker at de nok skal gå og råber igen “Mave!” og spinner mellem 270 og 360 grader rundt om mig selv imod urets retning.

Her ser jeg en stor hvid hingst komme løbende og mens jeg råber “Mave!” begynder den at ride hen imod mig. Jeg spørger den om den er min mave og I det jeg gør det bliver den til en hvid kamel, med tre pukler, hvor den forreste af de 3 er delt I 2, selvom det ser sundt og raskt ud, som om den egentlig blot bærer en genetisk mutation der giver den denne tredje to-delte pukkel.

Den svarer at den er min mave og jeg knæler for den, hvilket den svarer med at lægge dens venstre hov på mit tredje øje. Derefter skifter den til at blive en venlig og varm 44-årig mand, med kort gråt hår. Jeg spørger “Hvad skal jeg gøre for at komme I bedre kontakt med dig” og han svarer “Din mormor kom til at trykke en lille knogle I stykker hernede (inde I højre hofteskål, hvor psoas løber) da du var 3 år gammel, det var ikke med vilje, men det kan man også se på billeder.” Der er en implicit besked der handler om at denne skade/traume ikke har været kendt og at noget kropsterapi kan have forværret det, men også at der ligger noget derfra der stadig rumsterer. Jeg svarer “Ah, jamen jeg har jo også fået scannet indersiden af mine hofter, så der vil man kunne se det?” han svarer “Jaaa, jooo.” med en tudelig intonering om at det ikke er helt rigtigt, men at det heller ikke er helt ved siden af.

Drømmen Ender og jeg vågner med en meget rolig, afslappet og rar fornemmelse I kroppen. Det var tidligt, men jeg stod op og fik mediteret med min mave som fokus, fik lavet yoga, danset og TRE og fik mig noget morgenmad og følte mig godt tilpas.

Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation – wake/dream visuals/visions

2018-12-08 The following is a description of a very powerful visionary experience during holotropic breath-work.

One sentence title: Travelling as pure child of light from the centre of creation, the beginning of time, over North American bull riding shaman to see what we are saving, culminating in seeing myself as Lucifer, then taking his place so he can go to heaven, falling to earth discarding demonic baggage.

The entry will be written in Danish as I intend to explore it further in therapy.

Jeg starter med at lægge mig godt til rette, jeg ser frem til den her session og er ikke bange, men mærker at jeg næsten bliver høj, måske på grund af den lidt intense dans jeg har givet mig I kast med forinden.

Det første der sker er visuelt. Jeg ser en række tørrede sår hen over min skallede isse, som jeg piller I en smule og som opstår simultant med en række bekymringer omkring Mai, hvilket efterfølges af en række tanker omkring den energi jeg bruger på at bekymre mig hende og hendes foretagener (jeg kan ikke huske om jeg her tænker på at flytte eller om jeg beslutter dette I løbet af den næste dags ceremoni hvor jeg ligger alene I køkkenet).

Det næste element er at jeg oplever – uden at det bliver visuelt – at jeg ligesom bliver løftet op og at himlens porte bliver åbnet for mig, uden at der dog kommer noget ud eller jeg kommer ind el.

Det næste er en længerevarende oplevelse af at se og mærke mig selv som et sammenfoldet barn lavet af lys, som rejser igennem et stjerneløst mørke, hvor lys og mørke er ligeligt fordelt og overlappende, som I både altopslugende og totalt gennemtrængende oven I, men også ved siden af hinanden.
Denne rejse ændrer karakter en smule til at den starter fra galaksens centrum, som også er punktet for begyndelsen af tid og jeg ridder på den forreste bølge af stjerner mod Jorden. Her kommer jeg forbi et vista af en slette I nordamaerika og jeg får fornemmelsen af en bison okse, der muligvis riddes af en shaman. Der er en klar besked om at det er det her livet handler om og at det er det vi forsøger at redde. Samtidig oplever jeg en enorm fornemmelse af at jeg er kommet hertil langvejsfra for at rydde op I min families historik.

Her begynder jeg at ryste ret så kraftigt, samtidig med at jeg skriger og græder et klage-skrig jeg ikke har hørt før. Jeg ser et billede af planeten samtidig og oplever at vi deler smerten og at oprydningen handler om det.

Jeg bruger en del tid på at græde snot og skrige på den måde. I løbet af denne meget emotionelle og kropslige process mærker jeg virkelig også min krop ryste og blive varm.

Da jeg på et tidspunkt sætter mig op, eller rettere forceret ved at en guide blidt har lagt en hånd på mit bryst der har skabt en voldsom reaktion, opdager jeg at lænet fårover har jeg enten fået mine vinger klippet af eller de bliver klippet af mens jeg sidder der. Herefter oplever jeg at jeg kan gro nye vinger, men disse enten af phønix eller fugle karakter og sprede dem ud over rummet.

Det sidste, men måske mest intense scenarie er at jeg igen ser det gyldne barn siddende foran mig, men denne gang med sorte vinger. Jeg ved at det er mig selv jeg ser på, jeg ved det er djævlen. Jeg trækker mig en smule tilbage, men tænker jeg skal nok se på det så beder en bøn til Michael og Jesus om beskyttelse og lader visionen udfolde sig. Jeg bliver til Lucifer, men samtidig sker der det at jeg igen ser himlens porte åbne sig foran mig og jeg ser hvordan Lucifer bliver lukket ind, mens jeg falder bagover med sorte vinger på ryggen – jeg har taget hans plads. Da jeg rammer jorden er det som om vingerne eller noget dæmonisk fortsætter med at falde. Nu ser jeg mig igen som det gyldne barn og at jeg hvis jeg fokuserer 100% ind I kroppen ikke blot har hele jorden og kosmos som legeplads, men flere forskellige dimmensioner også.

Her stopper vissionen.

Well I got lucid again. The dream was very vivid, and the feeling of it was very "real", just like I want it. Since I started up my lucid dreamning training agin (abut a month ish ago) I have had about 10 lucid dreams. Which I think is pretty decent, since 4 years ago when I was practicing lucid dreaming, I barely got lucid, and had a hard time stabilizing and controlling the dream. I guess I have come pretty far (compared to then). I feel like I get lucid a decent amount, so it's been easier for me to work with the stuff I wanted to. For an example one of my "lifetime goals" was just to do some physical training in a dream, and experiment with this. I already have been able to fulfill that goal lolz so that's nice. I will def come back to the physical training in dream, when my dream control, stability and lucid frequency (haha the amount I get lucid) gets better. Only a matter of time I guess?
Well this lucid was the random dild I dislike. Normally I don't like these since the induction technique I feel is just like rolling dice. Either you are lucky or you aren't... well tonight I got lucky lol. And it felt good. It actually felt like this technique can have some consistency to it.
Dream: I ant totally remember the dream, since I feel like I used up all my memory on remembering all the details of the lucid part, and trying to deild back into the lucid dream after I woke up... well I def remember I got lucid.
Me and 2 friends from my climbing gym just got of a train, and onto the train station. I don't remember the city we were in. But I remember it definitely was not Scandinavia or Asia lol. We walked over a 2 laned road, and as we were walking a car came speeding by. We started running instead of walking, and barely made it across the road. While taking the last step across the road, I got very aware of everything. It was like everything kinda slowed down, and I had time to think and feel my body and surroundings. (I often do this in waking life to RC. I mean the focus and feeling part). While feeling my body I noticed how I jumped over the curb and gently landed on the soles of my feet on the sidewalk. I could feel the impact on my soles, and it felt "real". I Odis the nose plug RC and damn... i was dreaming! I looked in front of me, and my friend was standing there, all happy since we made it across the road without being run over lol. (I have always had problems with summoning stuff. People, items and surroundings, I have always had trouble controlling). It's always been a goal to summon/say hi to a friends in my dreams. But I have never been able to summon them, or go to a place where they were... so this time, I was aware of my past failings, and wanted to try something new, which I had tried once before in a dream. I asked my friend in the dream, if he knew where my other friend were. He looked around and pointed to a house nearby, and told me my friend was in there. He lead the way. We walked into this old house, and went up a flight of stairs and into a room upstairs. And sure enough my friend was there lol! We talked about training, as we always do lol. And my friends answers were pretty fking profound lol. I got exited about or conversation lol, and woke up!
I didn't move as I woke up, since I wanted to deild back into the dream and continue the dream where it left off. I tried for some time, but I was too exited to fall back asleep.... dang. I def need to hear what these dream characters have to say haha.

Well the way I got lucid wasn't as rng as it used to. Normally something strange happens, or dream characters talk about dreams, before I question my awareness. But this time I questioned my awareness just by myself. This is a step in the right direction I think. And a step towards making dilds more consistent and on MY terms.

Nice! If you can't so the dream control (summoning friends or whatever) just let the dream characters so the work for you lol.

Date of Dream: FRI 7 DEC - 2018



Dream No. 500 - Amateur Gamer Boy

I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I do remember, there was this boy that was at my house and he classified himself a gamer; he was a very young kid. Something happened but I forgot what it was and so I called out for 18-Volt. He did appear in a very weird way, he was not 18-Volt at all but was rather… Some toy house? Additionally, whenever 18-Volt’s presence was with me, the dream would give me the sensation as if it wanted to wake me up. This happened a few times and so eventually, I slowed down the rate at which I requested 18-Volt. That’s all I can remember for this dream.



Dream 500: Results (Competition #9)
Competition Night: 2
Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Non-Lucid
Dream Guide: None
Emergency Team: None
Eligible For Competition Points: Yes



Points For This Entry: 0.5
Calculation Details:
- Non-Lucid Fragment (0.5)

+ Previous Total: 0.5
Total Accumulated Points: 1.0



This is my 500th dream that I've recorded... This deserves something special. Here are some unique drawings that have never been posted before and what's really special... A physical reveal of Dreamy WB!

Pic 1: Dreamy WB & Karla - A variation on the scenery in Dream No. 265

Pic 2: Murray & Karla - How dream 261 A ended, with me asleep with Murray. The lights are on in this pic so we can see the scene better.

Pic 3: 18-Volt & Karla - Inspired by Dream 415 A how 18-Volt was sitting in the armchair and writing all those notes.

Pic 4: Group shot!! Dreamy WB's hand on 18-Volt's back is a reference to how she instructed him in the first couple of weeks of his dream guide service.

Date of Dream: THU 6 DEC - 2018



Dream No. 499 - Distorted Teacher

I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I do remember, I was in my old primary and the environment was really distorted. At one stage, I came across one of the teachers, Mrs N, and she looked very distorted. She mentioned something to me about how the current year 11s are doing what I did when I was year 10. That’s all I can remember about this dream.



Dream Competition #9 (2018) - Housekeeping Details:

Dream Guides (Worth 10 points if lucidly summoned):
1. Dreamy WB/Miss T
2. Murray
3. 18-Volt

Emergency Team (Can act as dream guides but are only 5 points if lucidly summoned):
1. Sly
2. Bentley
3. 9-Volt

Scoring Template...
Competition Night:
Lucid or Non-Lucid:
Dream Guide:
Emergency Team:
Eligible For Competition points:

Points Calculator...
Points For This Entry:
Calculation Details:
Total Accumulated Points:

Dream Measurement Criteria:
Non-Lucid Fragment = 2 or less paragraphs
Full Non-Lucid Dream = 3 or more paragraphs



Competition #9 - Personal Goals
Old - Provide an instance of guidance to 9-Volt
Old - Physically witness Sneaky Gamer yourself
Old - Encounter 18-Volt without any headset or glasses
Old - Have a dream in Diamond City
Old - Discover where Dreamy WB lives; do I live with her?
Old - On lap travel, have Dreamy WB travel faster than a car
New - Have another attempt at elevator exposure practise with 18-Volt
New - Have all 3 dream guide team members in one dream
New - Have Dreamy WB or 18-Volt take you to see your deceased grandfather
New - Start the dream off with a dream guide already present
New - Witness lap travel on 18-Volt's lap



Dream 499: Results (Competition #9)
Competition Night: 1
Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Non-Lucid
Dream Guide: None
Emergency Team: None
Eligible For Competition Points: Yes



Points For This Entry: 0.5
Calculation Details:
- Non-Lucid Fragment (0.5)

+ Previous Total: 0.0
Total Accumulated Points: 0.5