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I had this bad dream last night and when I woke up from it, I was cold.

Very detailed.

I'm looking out the window and on the other side of the river, I see women walking at about 10 steps distances from each other. About 20 of them. I wonder what they are doing. Then i see a black SUV and I realize it's a funeral procession.

Later we are going towards the river bank and I see a building which I had no idea was there. It looks like a memorial home. It's all gray and gothic, I don't like it and I'm trying to not go near it.

But somehow I end up inside and I follow this girl. I watch her from 3rd person view. So she could be me? She walks into the office of the director. She is shorter than the desk and while the director is talking to her, she sneaks out. He looks down and I ask him who is he looking for. But I don't think he sees me. I know the girl is running away and all that was a distraction she did so she can give herself a head start.

Now I'm following this young woman, still as a 3rd person view. We go from that office to another room. When i realize that it has dead bodies in it, all bloodied and wrapped in thick plastic, I tell to myself that I don't really want to see this, so I better close my eyes. She wants to escape by hiding under those bodies.


Day before:
I'm an astronaut in a space outpost on an alien planet. Someone is coming so I'm in a hurry to put on my helmet so I can get out of there. (was watching The Martian few days ago)

Morning of August 11, 2018. Saturday.

Reading time: 58 sec. Readability score: 67.



I am in an unknown location at about fifty percent lucidity, but with not as much vividness as in similar states.

The ambiguity of my physicality as perceived within the dream state becomes a representation of a moving vehicle. There is a vague association with my father driving the car (probably because I am a father now and am older), but there are several unknown people present.

The car drives by from right to left. A toolbox somehow flies out from the left side of the car, from the back, as if tossed, though it also seems as if it may have somehow slid out with the door being open as they sped off. It is not that big and is a matte gray color. It lands on the gravel. I am puzzled over this event.

---

I had been sleeping on my left side. A car is often a representation of the physical body in sleep as a form of vestibular system correlation. (In fact, the human body is even considered a “vehicle.”) The toolbox comes out from the left side, from the back, oriented towards the intent of the sleeping process. The association is with sleep as a healing process, though I am near waking, so the process is “disrupted.” The biology of the body is not under the control of the conscious will, which is what the reactive representation, in this case, is all about, as coming from the back seat.

---

Oh man, have I been out of it these last few days...

Log 1197 - Mail Truck Ricknosis Futuristic City and Childish Bro Brawl Scraps

Created Wednesday 08 August 2018

Scrap Group 1
At home. I find that I traded my SUV for a mail truck.

Rick and Morty dream. Summer and the title characters were captured by aliens, then induced to hypnosis via drugs. Thanks to previous experience with such, Rick is occasionally able to snap out of this state. I take Rick's role briefly, to find that I actually wake up.

Driving around a highway with some friends and family at dusk. We stop at a wilderness clearing. There's a tall building of eccentric design in the distance. Further in the horizon was an entire futuristic megalopolis. All of us are entranced at the sight. I start to wonder what an ancient city would look like from that angle, and how ancient peoples would've react both to that and of the far more advanced marvels.

In an unknown bedroom. My bro and I are playing fighting games (Marvel vs Capcom games?) on separate screens. Later, my younger cousin (who appeared as a kid in this dream) arrived. He had a gift for us, but required our finding some tools to help set it up or something. This later prompts some disagreement between my brother and I over some trivial matter, which then boils over into a childish brawl.

Log 1198 - G - Baseball Stadium Argument and Another Mortal Kombat Reboot Scraps
Created Thursday 09 August 2018

Scrap Group 1
I was G from Street Fighter. I even got to show off with his magma-controlling abilities.

At a baseball stadium with family. Later, one of my uncles showed up. We got into an argument.

Mortal Kombat related dream. Yet another reboot. This time, Liu Kang refused to go to Outworld. It was thus left to Kung Lao to overcome the otherworldly tournament. Moreover, Kitana never defects to the heroes' side.

Nothing for Friday...

Log 1200 - Still Unfocused
Created Saturday 11 August 2018

Scrap Group 1
Playing Liberal Crime Squad. I'm going on a mass music brainwashing spree.

Living in a city slums during the mid 90's. I had audio recording hardware more advanced than the time period, which I planned to use to make easy money.

Morning of August 11, 2018. Saturday.

Reading time: 50 sec. Readability score: 66.



I am in an unknown bank, though the area is not very defined. I do not discern any walls, only “blank” space beyond.

I am firstly standing in a long queue, but then I decide to sit down. There are many chairs as if arranged to watch a play, facing the teller stations. A lot of other people are present and sitting in chairs.

The area with the tellers also has an unusual alcove to the rightmost of my view. An unknown man goes ahead of the others waiting in line. An unfamiliar woman at the end of the line becomes annoyed. The man goes into the alcove and is no longer visible. I do not know how their system works. I comment on the event to imply that I understand her frustration, but consider my comment is probably annoying to her as well.

---

The event is like a typical checkout scenario, which is common in my dreams and is a reactive representation of the waking process (leaving the dream state in an obvious metaphor). The man going into the alcove is a projection of my emerging consciousness, in which I am subliminally planning on going back to sleep after waking, analogically duplicated by me sitting down in a chair to rest.

---

Non-dream stuff - Woke up at about 9:30 and got up to write this long non-lucid dream, that I've split into 3.

---

Dream part 1:
I remember being at the place that used to be a store, on the ground floor of my childhood home. in the dream this place was just a room, like a dining room. An old school friend of mine was there and he was sat down at a table and I had been too but now I was preparing some meals, like sandwiches for a trip. I remember I made 8 buns and 4 of something else. I distinctly remember putting the buns in kitchen paper and folding pairs over themselves.

Then I remember needing to go to the bathroom or needing the attention of my dad or one of my siblings for some reason, and they were in the bathroom. I remember it was dark. The previous room was bright, it had a light on or something.

Dream part 2:
Then I remember being underground, at a subway train station. I was walking toward where I knew the platform to be in the dream. It was a long journey, it felt more like I was at an airport terminal, in that sense. I remember thinking the way was through a certain place but it was just a bread shop and actually it was a dead end full of bread stands. I turned around and went toward some stairs up that then had escalator stairs down...

I remember being at the platform now. There was a massive red train waiting at the platform but on a rail that wasn't right next to the platform, then another slightly taller but much much thinner train was arriving, and everyone was thinking this one was gonna stop and be the train to take them where they needed to go. I thought maybe it would be, too, and got closer to the edge as it was going past, but it never stopped. It was a very odd train and I wondered how it even looked inside with the shape it had.

Looking around, the platform was only one of several. This was in some sort of enclosed valley. Surrounding the platforms were walls of stone but the top was open sky. Past the closest rails was not another platform, but a cliff, and down there were more platforms in different orientations and directions. It was night, but I could see clearly, though I don't remember illumination posts.

I was annoyed it had taken me so long to get here, and I remember I was carrying a backpack, presumably with all those food things I made. I was looking at a tiny unfoldable map, which I remember being an unsaturated magenta colour, like a light pink, and it felt more like it was for a cd to be in it, but there was no cd. I faffed on with it trying to understand it but gave up and a boy came up to me and mocked me and we got into a bit of an argument and I said something like "this map doesn't make any sense!" at which point the child agreed with a grin.

I remember I was sitting down now and there were many other sitting down too, seemingly students of some kind. One was arriving now and showing people this transparent but large crystal, with an oblong shape with beveled edges. He said it was part of the research he did with some old guy. Then he addressed a girl there and showed her the crystal, saying like: "this is what your grandfather and i worked on" and she took the crystal into both her hands and examined it.

At some point I was holding a beer, like a pale ale.

Now I remember only seeing a machine of some kind. A portable machine, made of glass or clear plastic, and the machine took liquid inputs at the top and they'd go down into larger tubed areas and then down into a tiny transparent chamber, where there seemed to be a mushroom, for each of the chambers. I remember 4 inputs, tubes and ends. The mushrooms seemed to magically absorb the liquids, mostly water.

Dream part 3:
Then an instant transition as far as I remember. I was seeing like a film scene but I was in the role of what was a future sci-fi German tank driver. The tank looked high tech and the metal plating had a blue hue. The tank was being dropped off into a warzone in a city in Poland or somewhere like that by a plane or helicopter.

On landing, the driver looking around for targets, mostly infantry on the ground or on top of buildings. The view zoomed in on a police car that was wrecked, then on a door, and then on some rooftops, as seen from the tank's position. There was some infantry on top of the buildings and the cannon was aimed and fired at the rooftop. Then looked around for more targets and didn't find any so moved on through the road, into a parking lot. Going up the parking lot twisty ramp, met with a mech armed with machine guns and rockets, and it outmaneuvered the tank easily but the tank kept the cannon aimed at it as well as possible; then the mech jumped and latched onto a wall, and the tank was in a bit of a bad position, stuck, and the mech was about to fire its weapons, and took some shells from the tank but without really doing much damage. I remember going "no, no, no" and bailing the tank very quickly. Now I was still the driver but I had some dual machine guns and fired on the mech which quickly destroyed it.

I continued on foot up the parking lot. Then I saw some agents, and I tried fighting them and did manage to get them but there was a sort of paralyising trap that proved to be difficult during the fight. My memory on the details here has been lost a bit. Then I just remember going out of the parking lot building at a higher tier and it was night but it would be day soon, and I was walking around past the edge of some kind of military base where there were several agents.

The last part I remember was some mutated war dogs that tried attacking me, and then a worm that came out of the ground and got me. The dream didn't end there but I don't remember what came next.

---

Some notes:

• The old school friend was the first potential cue for a RC. He was one of my closer friends during college.
• As soon as I was underground at the subway station, even before the platforms, it was a good cue to RC because I know that train stations are very rarely that big.
• The trains were an obvious dream-sign, one of my more common ones. Though it was the first time they had such weird shapes.
• In the third part, the dream was initially the context of some kind of future world war, like a hundred years in the future or something. The country the tank was deployed to was not an enemy, but an ally being invaded, in the dream context.
• The final context of the third part was that it was a digital thing, like the Matrix. Because of the contexts, I don't think I'd be likely to have noticed any RC cues at this point.
• I remember a music playing the last dream part. It was a mix of the soundtrack from the film "Fifth Element" and something else more dramatic. I can never remember music clearly after a dream ends.

Morning of August 11, 2018. Saturday.

Reading time: 22 sec. Readability score: 78.



Our youngest daughter is coloring in a picture on a cell phone, though I see it from my perspective (as if I am using the cell phone). It is a drawing of a Guinea pig that is facing left. (The setting is unknown, though undefined.)

After a short time, a mouse is atop the cell phone, its back feet hitting the keys (touchpad) and rapidly coloring in the picture, while oriented towards the bottom of the cell phone. There is a loud squeak. The mouse seems to have a cheerful human essence.

---

Morning of August 11, 2018. Saturday.

Reading time: 1 min 42 sec. Readability score: 59.



I enter a very unusual bathroom wake-up call state (which also includes the reactive representation of vague hunger), which is ambiguous and lacking my conscious self presence in most of the continuity.

Even though I am back in Cubitis in my dream (where I have not lived since 1978), and my father is alive, and of a young appearance (as in the 1950s before I was born), there is a singular thread of awareness of opening our refrigerator in my present home. I open it, and there is a black snake inside. It crawls up to hide in back behind the freezer section.

Later, I go into the Cubitis bathroom. There is a small black snake on the edge of the bathtub closest to the wall. I soon see a bigger black snake near the faucet.

I decide to go and tell my father about this. He is in the room he built (that extended into the carport, though this was my mother’s room in the year before moving to Wisconsin). I tell him that the house is full of snakes (an exaggeration).

At this time, an ambiguous thread of current conscious self identity is present. I am also aware of Zsuzsanna (and her relationship to me) even though I am fourteen in my dream.

I had talked with Zsuzsanna about the snakes possibly being the most venomous ones around (assuming Australia). They are gone when my father looks around. This type of ambiguity and error is common. The black snakes in our yard and house were not harmful when I lived in Florida. My dream self has the distorted perception of being in America and Australia at the same time. Only some dreams have this.

---

Distorted temporality is common. The dream self is not the conscious self. Dual identity and emerging consciousness distortion is also a factor. The belief that dreams are related to memory processing or memory consolidation (or even viable content from the unconscious mind) is utterly nonsensical. They are mainly reactive representations in real time, based on subliminal, liminal, or lucid awareness of being in the dream state and maintained by the preconscious in sleep (as dreams evolved out of a need to be aware of environmental factors and biological needs while sleeping).

Although a snake is often a metaphorical representation of the reticular formation as a waking alert factor (as likely in all primates), there are other associations, as with the human intestine (stomach cramps or bowel movements), frayed electrical cords, pins and needles in an arm, or pain in a finger.

---

so after quite some time with no lucids and to lazy to do proper night work i kicked myself and wanted to do some totms so after around 5h of sleep i stood up even tho every fiber in my body was like "go back to sleep man.." but i stood up meditated for like 20-30 min and then back to bad on my back setting intention and goals then earplugs and eyemask because it was loud in the house and falling asleep.
3 LD was the result

-i am in the bathroom looking on a clock 11:45.... way to late, not possible and how can i read the clock anyways its dark. i do a nosepinch and lucid. i am happy, phase into the hallway. everything is super dark and the visuals are bad but i just start running and move my hands more than necessary and suddenly visuals are back. i remember instantly my goals to do the totms so i run to a building and enter thru a door expecting to be on the roof of a high building but i just enter the building i look for another door but i find an elevator. convenient i think and enter telling it to go up by voice command. i get out and find myself on a parking deck with a roof over me. i remember that i want to cross my eyes and so i do. it works immediately with no effort i also do it by look at a finger that comes closer to my nose but actually its not necessary. i run to the fence at the end of the building and look down. not as high as i hoped but good enough i jump down and try to be as passive as possible. i accelerate to the ground but i feel i should accelerate faster than i do, like i get slowed down for some reason... i crash into the concrete and its pretty loud but i dont feel any pain. i get up and continue i want to fly but i have some problems getting higher so i jump from level to level. wake up?
-i am somewhere on a party or in south america? i think of a girl i dont like to much i see another girl going around the corner [the evening before a friend wrote something about her] so i follow her i find her in a small dark room. i take her and we have a little sexy time. but after some time i get bored and i leave her behind. a voice from the off says something like " ah finally you learned it/managed to get detached from it"
-i show someone how i make fire in the hand. first a liquid arise in my hand and then i turn it on. but the fire is weak and blue. i pour some of the liquid on the ground and throw a fireball on it but not to much happen....
-i phase thru the ceilings a mix of flying and climbing and pushing thru, i find myself in some weird and colored rooms like for childs in a funny hospital or something? i try to fly in the room, i try different styles like ironman all is with not too much success. i look out for a jetpack it works shorty better but not good...i notice how i tense my body so i try to relax and concentrate on the goal where i want to get and not on the flying itself but i cant mange it...
-i find myself on a public open space. i go to a girl and ask her if she can help me with flying she smiles and starts flying. i follow her and tell her flying that i have problem with height and speed. she tells me this is a luxury problem and i shouldn't mind but i say that i want to get better and see progress. we loose each other?
- i phase into a bus? go to an older woman and with not too much words turn of her pants start rubbing her xxx and we have sex. i am positively surprised that her skin looks very young and elastic and her v... is mostly shaved expect a small part that is very short and white haired. we do it for some time but there is no climax
-i actually want to get up but seem to fall asleep again in dream i want to clean my ears because of the earplugs. my roommate is on a bridge above me. we talk and i get lucid again. i start flying and fly low again not the best experience. i pass two buidlings. in the first one i hear music like there will be a concert soon i go to the second one and phase in a guy seems to hear me and he "hunts" me in circles between the living and the bedroom after some time he goes opposite direction and catches me but i hold him and then just leave with no trouble. i meet my brother?/someone i know up front and i tell him in the first building will be a concert so we go there and climb in thru the window. the woman that sits in the back room hears us [in the moment i woke up i had the name celine dion in the head. i googled her and the looks fits]. i ask her about the concert and she says there will be none. okay sad... she seems to have eyes in the back of her head... the hair is cut short at that positions... its a little weird. i remember the bonus totm and try to expand my sight by crossing my eyes so they kind of turn to the sides and then to the back but i cant go much further than i can in waking life.... i ask her if she can make me eyes in the back of my head like she has. she says something about tattoos and that she needs something for it or later or something? she ask me which kind of eyes, just eyes or also eyebrows or make up or something?! in the end i dont get them and move a little more in the room before i wake up for good
-i ask a guy "if you should tell me something i shouldnt forget for sure, what would it be?" he answers "you should get yourself a fetish girl" aha i think... i go to another dude same question same answer...

I dreamt that I had a mission and that was stealing something very small, like a brooch. A woman showed me the way the a huge safe. She quickly let me in but then the door closed behind me and I only had a few minutes before the owner would come. She asked me to help since I was one of the very best to steal in such a impossible situations. I quickly looked around, trying the find the brooch and also a way out. Soon I would here a man's vocie behind the door and didn't sound very happy. I felt the time running out in the sand and stressed around in that giant safe.

There were no boxes and no other exits. I kind of panicked, high up in the ceiling there was a window which was impossible to reach but still no brooch. The owner sounded very upset and he said that he knew that I was in there. I ran towards the wall that was located right at the door to the safe and found a handle. I desperatly pulled it and found a very small box for jewelry. I opened the box and found the tiny brooch that the woman wanted and put in my pocket. Then I put the box back and discovered another way out behind the it. It looked like a shelf and behind it a secret exit I quickly got out and in that safe I could here the man talking with someone else. I didn't wanted to stay for long so I ran away. Later I found the woman who wanted me to steal the brooch in the first place and told me I was a good boy.

Non-dream stuff; I woke up at 5:59 initially, then being up for a few minutes and then going back to bed and waking up again later around 7 and later at 10:30 when I got up. I haven't numbered the following sequences because the order in which they happened is really messed up in my memory.

---

Fragment and intermission:
This was when I first woke up at 5:59; I simply remember music playing softly. The next paragraph is from waking life:

I woke up from the sound of torrential rain, as did my partner, and we both got up from bed to look. I realised I was still hearing the vague memory of this music very faintly, at which point it stopped completely as I also realised the rain was the likely cause for it in the dream world. After a few minutes we went back to bed, but I did reality checks because it felt like an odd situation, to find that this was indeed reality. I realised that perhaps the fact that I was lucid already by being awoken by something odd was what made me think to do a few RCs. I seem to remember going back to bed with the intention of confronting the man from the next dream written...

Dream sequence:
I was in the car with my partner and we arrived at a parking lot. It was day but it looked dark grey and cloudy. The parking lot was in front of a few shops, and my partner wanted to go to one of the shops for groceries, but closest to us as we got out of the car was a little shop, and I went in and my partner followed. It was a vintage toy shop. There were metallic scale models of WWI and WWII tanks and artillery cannons, and the shop's owner was a man. He had two children, who were also at the shop.

I remember having a look around and taking a liking to a cargo wagon model and a WWII Panzer-like tank model. I always liked the shapes on some of the German tanks. The models were all on display on some glass shelves of some kind, I think. There was a strange red mood lighting and no other lights seemed to be present, actually. This has happened in other dreams though it is uncommon.

Then I was going to buy the model of the tank and my partner was sitting on a sofa thing in the reception area, bored, getting worried the other shop was going to close (which in the dream I felt like he was right about) and then we heard some noise from the other display room and the shop man just said it was his kids.

Then we went out and my partner walked into the other shop, and I was about to too, and I dropped something and I stopped and looked to my left as I was going to pick it up and there was now a small wall close to me but a gap between the wall and the shop. There was a man, crawling forward on his stomach and making raving noises like "oooaaa oooaaa" repeatedly. He looked right out of his mind, and he took what I dropped. I got a bit angry and stepped forward menacingly, remembering now that I was scowling too.

He got up and stood tall; he was a fair bit taller than me and still had an odd expression on his face, and initally just walked forward a bit toward me at which point I threatened him in my native language saying something to the effect of "you wanna get some?!", he stepped forward again and I stepped back because he had long arms and I was wary of him being able to strike me from further than I'd be able to hit him back. Another man stood up from a seat to the left (that I had previously not noticed, in fact there was a whole row of seats and people like at a clinic) and that second man grabbed the first one and directed him toward a bathroom in the wall of the big shop building and bashed the first man's head on the toilet lid.

Dream fragment:
I remember being in some sort of game, with a lot of water. There were big naval vessels and I remember an interface with a map showing lots of dots and dots with circles around them. All of them were coloured, and I remember most of them were yellow or white, and there were some red ones too. They seemed to represent other ships and naval bases. I remember later being on land and something about a military base and my siblings being there.

Dream fragment:
I remember being in a room with a round table. The table was modern and large, but not actually very high. Around the table were myself, some random people and of particular note an old school friend of mine, which I'll call C. I didn't speak to C directly in the dream, she looked moody and was turned away from the table and she looked as I remembered her. Another girl was talking to me and explaining that C and her girlfriend broke up and that C was upset because of it and that they'd been trying to have kids. I initially thought that was a bit odd.

This other girl started having a discussion with me about a random method I'd never heard of for a woman to get pregnant, and I said something like "well, why didn't they just try insemination?" and the girl looked at me with a funny face and said "insemination?" like she'd never even heard the word. She scrawled some crude diagrams of the female reproductive system and of how this other method was going to work.

C left at some point, and that's all I remember.

---

Finally, some notes:

• The raving mad man was someone I perceived in the dream to be like a beggar or vagabond. Not the kind of person I would have felt like I'd be threatening with violence, but I was angry for having something taken from me.
• It was odd that in the dream my partner didn't come looking for me but I didn't think of it in the dream either.
• The lighting in the toy model shop could have been a good cue to RC. I need to add it to my list of Uncommon dream-signs, as I've had it before.
• My old friend C was someone I had a crush on during school time. This should was a dream-sign and good cue for RC. For context, a couple of years later I did talk to her about it and she said that it wouldn't have mattered because at the time I was interested in her, she wasn't intersted in going out with anyone because she was fed up, but we were still friends.
• The fact that C and whoever her girlfriend was were breaking up seemed sudden to me in the dream. In waking life I do know that she has a girlfriend now but I so rarely speak with C that I don't really know anything about her life.
• The other very explanatory girl, felt like one of those irritating people who you can't really have a discussion with. Ironically I'm fairly certain she was dream-generated.
• It is somewhat curious to me that the dream-generated woman I recently had appear in some dreams, the receptionist, was a woman that represents the black hair archetype of woman I've found in waking life, such as C and some other friends. The Anima I've previously had appear in dreams was blonde, quiet, and of somewhat firm attitude. This second dream-generated archetype seems to be a different kind of Anima, more likely to respond and talk but also being firm in attitude.

I should make note that this DJ entry marks a bit of a milestone since starting this dream journal, that my dream recall has generally improved a lot solely by having the intention of writing down the dreams and having a routine to do so. I am no longer forgetting fragments easily between sleeping and waking, though it still happens.

Short lucid

Was at Jamie's house and she had some friends there. Found that boring but became lucid somehow. I wandered to a table to try time dilation. Started counting the spaces between my fingers with one eye closed left to right. everytime i went left again I had more fingers to count. by 20 20 the dream just faded out.

Fight

I remember chasing after Jamie after we had some huge fight of which or what about I don't remember. I finally caught up with her on some street, she eventually turned around and we both started apologizing. I gave her a hug and she felt so real. "I love you." I said to her then I woke up.

Secret room

Was in my inner world house. Somehow I had learned of a secret room in my house between some walls. I was in a kitchen part and looking at the walls trying to find it. I saw a vent there near the ceiling and tried to climb to it. I couldn't. A man was there, who I think was Data offered me a boost up. I went up and peered in the vent, there was nothing there but black. I told Data i couldn't get in. He lifted up the ceiling and I jumped down the other side.

Inside was what looked like a giant storage room with random boxes and clothes all over the place. I wonder if Asuka had stored things here herself. I just leafed through things until the dream was over.

Lucid

I found myself wandering a street lucid. There seemed to be no transition from the last dream. I wandered for a bit but things started getting darker. I remember Mzzck once made a lucid longer by trying to eat a tree. I didn't see no trees but I found a telephone pole and teleported to it and began trying to eat it. It did taste kind of like a tree and I did smell pine. The act engaged so many different senses it kept me in the dream.

After a bite or two I found myself wandering by a house that seemed familiar. I went into the driveway and decided to try time dilation again. I placed my hand on the ground. closed one eye and counted spaces between my fingers. Every time i went back left to right I had another hand. I managed to count to 40 before my vision began to distort too much so I Jumped up to escape the distortions. I didn't get very far, so I immediately tried again and flew up past the roof. I saw a woman get out of the house and i landed near her. I asked her if she knew where I could find Jamie and I said her last name. The woman said she did and would give me a ride.

We got into her car and I briefly wondered if I should bother wearing a seat belt in this dream. We pulled away and a few moments later she pulled over and a midget got into the car. That wasn't Jamie... So I waited longer.

Suddenly, a woman with long brown hair was suddenly sitting in the backseat out of nowhere. Looking back I'm positive it was Jamie. She startled me and also resembled S. I said she scared the shit out of me and why was she here ( i was still convinced she was S)? Jamie got mad and said she teleported in here to find me. Then she vanished either waking up or teleporting away. The woman's car stopped again and another midget got in. Flustered, I left the car.

I still wanted to look for Jamie even though she had just been there. I began walking across a field toward some plaza calling out her name where it looked like there was fast food and shops. But as I got closer the businesses changed and seemed further away.

Wound up going into some abandoned house. Went upstairs and looked around a bit. When I went back to the stairs a man wandered in followed by a weird creature trying to make itself look like an asian girl. I didn't walk but sort of hopped behind him. This freaked me out. So I teleported to the man and killed him with a knife I seemed to get out of nowhere. I turned to the creature and stabbed it's coat but the knife went through. It fell on the ground. I pulled off the coat and underneath was just a broom handle with a wooden head with fake hair. I wondered if the man was using magic to make it seem like he had a companion. My vision got all watery as it does when lucids end and so it ended.

Selkies have popped up a few times in my dreams, enough so that I wanted to make an entry on them in this log.

But before I can talk about the Selkies we need to talk about the vampires.

Vampires are your standard, Nosferatu-style, blood-drinking undead, with palid gray skin and elongated fangs. However the anatomy of the vampires of my dreams differs (consistently differing across different dreams, oddly enough) from the standard in a few ways. First, the feet of a vampire are more batlike than humanlike, and can be used to cling to cave ceilings. Second, the vampires possess crooked, bizarre "hook hands". The hands have an extra finger after the pinky finger, which curves outward and away from the hand. This hook-finger moves and flexes at odd angles. Additionally the hook-finger, as well as the pinky finger and the thumb, are covered in bone spurs that protrude from the flesh. A vampire can drink blood through it's hands, and when resting prefers to have its hook-hands soaking in fresh, bloody meat when possible.

A vampire cannot be truly killed, as it will come back to life eventually, and thus the best that can be done is to bury a vampire's body after it dies, so that it comes back to life deep underground.

Selkies, much like the creatures from Scottish folklore of the same name, are shapeshifters bearing a human form and a seal form, though in my dreams their alternate form is always that of a walrus rather than a seal. Selkies can freely switch between their two forms, and often do so to facilitate movement, since they are faster in the water as a walrus and faster on the land as a man.

The selkies as a whole are additionally fiercely dedicated vampire hunters, devoting their lives to keeping mankind safe from the vampiric threat. In their walrus forms, they primarily fight vampires using their tusks, driving their massive, ivory stakes through the hearts of the vampire to incapacitate it. In their human form, they favor use of a "flying guillotine" of Wuxia movie fame, a hatlike object on a chain that can be thrown over an opponent's head, the chain then used to trigger spring-loaded blades, causing decapitation. These are favored since decapitation will also incapacitate a vampire.

After destroying a vampire, a selkie will bury the remains, as a vampire cannot truly be killed. Selkies maintain maps of all their burial locations, so they can intervene whenever new construction might threaten to unearth a disposed-of threat.

In the course of fighting vampires, inevitably some selkies get bitten by vampires and become vampires themselves. Vampire selkies continue to hunt rogue vampires, dedicating their now-immortal existence to the craft, and are still accepted by the rest of the selkies, despite being vampires themselves. Vampiric selkies partner with the Catholic Church to control their bloodlust, as Catholic communion wine, due to the doctrine of transubstantiation (the belief that communion wine, the "blood of God", is literally transformed to Jesus' blood once consumed), allows a selkie vampire to drink blood without having to actually shed any blood. Transubstantiation is, apparently, a 100% correct belief in my dreams, and can be thus used to sustain a vampire. Vampiric selkies often must get their communion wine through intermediaries, however, as it isn't easy to obtain communion wine without encountering crosses.

^w^

Hypnagogia: a pair of hands pressed together as if in prayer, both skewered by a double pointed blade.

37/ 14th Lucid. In a van, I backed into a parking spot at the top of a tall waterfall. I slowly backed toward the cliff. “Stop, you’re going to fall!” someone yelled. In a split second my mind considered the situation and the location and I smiled. “It’s okay, this is a dream,” I told the worried onlookers. I backed over the cliff, slipped out of the van like I was a spirit, teleported to just above the ground below, then dropped back to earth. People at the base of the waterfall screamed as the van plumetted toward them. I glared up and thought, “Stop.” The van halted midair. It gently spiraled to the ground and settled onto its wheels. The crowd cheered and ran toward me.
I knew that they would distract me if I got involved so I ran and dove into a tree. I split into particles, filtered down into the roots, and dripped back into my body shape to drop through a dim space. (always creepy and cool when I dissintegrate) I landed on a flat and looked up. The clouds, if they were clouds, were tangled with all shapes and sizes of roots. I thought to sing to the sky but couldn’t remember the song. Instead I wandered the dim area looking for something to trigger my memory.

38/ Some friends invited me to their sci fi larp thing. They were dressed in silver outfits with silver weapons. An odd weapon was a huge silver cube that my one friend would climb into and run in. It looked awkward and floppy and I didn’t understand it. Partway to the larp area I got distracted by food. By time I was done eating and found my friends, the larp was done. They regailed me with the tales of their outerspace adventures.

woke at 4:43am. WBTB

39/ 15th LUCID. Just suddenly aware I was dreaming. It was hard to walk, my legs tingled as if asleep. I looked down to see no legs. Figured I must be feeling my sleeping real legs. I floated along, no longer human shaped. I yelled, “Dream?” just to ensure I had a voice. I really needed to know what I looked like so tried to split into two. I wanted to stand beside myself to see myself. During the stressful process of struggling to split, I woke.

40/ I helped two of my sisters shell dried corn. The buckets filled and there was corn left so I made a pouch of the bottom of my tshirt and let kernals fall into it. I slid into the crook of a tree root for more comfort. I was suddenly high in the tree, precariously balanced on a flat spot where someone had cut a tree branch off. It was a steep angle and I started sliding off. I didn’t want to spill the kernals and struggled to sit still while protecting the corn. “Hurry, go get baskets or buckets or something!” I yelled at my sisters. They went slowly and came back with a small bowl. I tried to pour the corn into it. The kernals went everywehre. Some were even picked up by the wind and scattered farther away.
I slid out of the tree and picked the kernals out of the grass. Not watching where I was backing into, I slid into a giant garbage hole. My sisters stood at the top and chatted about how best to save me. I slid deeper into the hole and at its bottom fell into a pool of frothy garbage water. I struggled to stay afloat. My sisters walked away. I slowly climbed out of the garbage hole, found my sisters, and yelled at them. They told me to go shower. I did. When finished I found out my sisters had driven away to avoid my anger. I set out after them on foot.

Morning of August 9, 2018. Thursday.

Reading time: 2 min 20 sec. Readability score: 60.



I naturally flow into the state I call apex lucidity. Usually, though, the state has to be reinitiated by creating and going through a door (or window) that is deemed difficult to open or phase through. (I sometimes end up sliding an entire wall like a sliding door before being fully integrated into this extremely vivid state.)

In this case, I effortlessly slide out of the illusion of my dream-rendered physical body into my apex body. From here, I phase through a window onto the ground outside. I look back through the window. The setting is incorrect in several ways, despite the augmented realism. Firstly, it seems to be the Gellibrand Street apartment in Clayfield, where we have not lived in years (and it has not been there in reality for years). Secondly, it was not possible to look through the window from the ground level at that address. Thirdly, rather than the driveway, it seems more like the space north of the Loomis Street house in America. Fourthly, the bed was never oriented this way as in the dream. The bed’s head was always out from the window, never the side. (Since childhood, my dreams render everything incorrectly in as many different ways as possible other than literally prescient threads, which makes me wonder why anyone would bother with “interpretation” in the typical use of the word, especially as dreams are typically reactive representations of the dream state itself.)

Even so, I keep studying the bed where Zsuzsanna and a baby are sleeping. I keep puzzling over the situation because I do not see my real physical body in the bed (which should be to the right of Zsuzsanna and our baby) as I expect to. It makes me uncertain, and I question if I am “still” in my body and ended up falling out the window in reality. (This makes no sense either, as Zsuzsanna would have been blocking me from rolling over and out the window, so that is already the fifth error here.) I am temporarily absentminded and had already forgotten that my original dream body that I supposedly came out of is not my real body either.

Still, I soon gain back my apex state after this brief lapse. Even so, I feel what seems like an invisible cat wrapping around my left leg, impeding my walking out to the public sidewalk. I consider that one of our cats is probably on my leg in reality as I sleep. (Though this was not the case, it was just illusory.) I try to shake it off without waking myself, and I do, curiously, without a hypnopompic kick resulting. I continue walking into an open area that is more like another place we had lived years ago, on Duffy Street. (As I had written in other entries, walking is more challenging and blissful in apex states than flying is in lower states, one reason being that walking is closer to ordinary consciousness in the highest lucid state with a more defined vestibular system correlation that is not as illusory as flying. Therefore, stable walking signifies far more control of RAS mediation than flying does.)

Soon, I shift into the summoning state of lucidity as typically begins every sleep cycle. About six young, unfamiliar servants walk toward me and coalesce into my dream self. Coming out instantly at that point, I decide not to return. I feel energized. Once again, I consider how realistic the state is in physicality and overall fullness of self.

---

In the earliest part of the dream I can remember, I'm reading a news article online. It’s about an odd discovery that was recently made—what seemed to be a fossilized person on a bicycle.

I pull up a map website so that I can have a better idea of where the places I’m reading about are. It starts off as a map of Europe—more or less. The only major difference I can remember was seeing a series of small countries along the (more or less) Baltic Coast.

The place I’m interested in is further west of that, around Luxembourg, I'd say. I zoom in until it’s more like looking at a satellite map, and I can see the spot the story is talking about: a place in the woods where the grass gives way to gray rock, and in the rock, the figure of the cyclist can be clearly seen in profile, looking rather cartoonish.

I look up and find I’m not looking at a screen on a computer anymore: I’m actually there in the forest. And there’s only one way that’s possible: I’m dreaming.

The gray rock isn’t there anymore. There’s just forest in every direction—deciduous forest, with foliage that isn’t so thick it blocks out the sunlight. I pick a direction and start walking, not having any particular goal in mind.

The forest is quiet and still: there don’t seem to be any animals around. The only notable feature of this place is the mushrooms I see growing in small groups among the undergrowth every few meters. They’re red with white spots—obviously fly-agaric. I recall a recent discussion on DreamViews about hallucinogens in lucid dreams: what would happen if I ate one? I’ve never been curious enough to try it before—I wasn’t even curious enough to read the thread, for that matter—but here they are, and here I am. Guess I’m going to find out.

I get down close to a group of them, pull a piece off a small one and put it in my mouth. But then I see that the mushrooms aren’t mushrooms anymore: they’re red flowers now, poppies by the looks of it. Still in an experimental frame of mind, I pull off some petals and chew on them. They’re completely flavorless and slightly cool. It is an extraordinarily realistic experience of eating flower petals.

Shortly afterwards, I wake up.

(7.8.18)