All DJ Entries

Okay, so the first half of last night was fairly disappointing. I awoke from a nice dream and started going over it in my head, still tired. Somewhere along the way I got the impression that I had recorded the dream in my phone rather than DJ so I didn't need to write it down, and now I don't remember it at all ;v; Don't worry though, it gets better.

Dream #1 (Fragment, Non-Lucid):
I was in my ESS classroom, in a miserable mood and maybe trying to take a nap. I talked to this guy named Jason and turned an assignment in. It was pretty vivid so it's a shame I don't remember anything else.


Dream #2 (Non-Lucid):
First thing I remember is that there was some random family in my house—a father, mother, and little boy. The mom in particular was very vivid to me. She was skinny, wearing an off-the-shoulder dress, with freckles splattered all across her shoulders and face. Her dirty-blond hair was tied in a half-up, half-down style, and she had a freaky smile and wide-open reddish eyes. [Now that I'm awake, her appearance reminds me of a character named Roselia from the most recent chapter of King's Maker.] I did not like her.

They were talking about something gross, don't remember the particulars, when the little boy asked what would happen if the dad died. He responded that the mom would have to get pregnant to one of his two older brothers (one of which was Sunny from OMORI)?! The mom didn't say anything, just cuddled up to her husband and smiled her creepy smile, nodding at everything he said.

I was so disgusted that I ran away screaming. They chased me, and I fumbled to unlock the front door. As soon as I was out, I got dizzy and the plotline was forgotten. My vision wasn't aligning properly with where I was looking and I could barely move my body. It was like trying to play a PC game that needs a mouse with your keyboard touchpad.

The door was ajar and I worried that Nile (dog) would escape, so I tried really hard to turn around and adjust my vision. I managed to do it, just in time to see Nile dash out of the house. I attempted to pounce on him, but my arms just flapped pathetically in his direction.

A moment later a tigress followed; she was very overprotective of Nile. I had recovered just enough to grab her by the scruff, although unlike last time I could not muster the strength to grab her face and shove her back in. [In the dream I knew this had happened twice before, but now I think they were false memories rather than previous dreams or a replay of events.]

She struggled against me, demanding that I let her go. I thought she might bite me, but I was not very scared. In the most confident and authoritarian voice I could muster, I said, "[Name]! Did you not learn anything from the previous two times?! You running out to find him just overcomplicates things! My mother and I are perfectly capable of finding him ourselves, so stop freaking out. Why do you always insist on making a nuisance of yourself?"

I actually managed to convince her, and she went back inside. Then my mom came out and yelled at me for letting Nile escape. I told her that my vision wasn't that good right now. Ms. F [math teacher] was in the back and implied that I had the same eye-related disease that she did [she's colorblind in real life but in the dream it was something much more serious]. I interrupted her and said, "No, it's just something that makes me dizzy from time to time, it's already going away."

And it was. I could see and move properly now. I was uncomfortable because I didn't want my mom to freak out or interrogate me, so when she started asking a question I ran off to find Nile.

I don't think the dizziness happened again, but I felt extremely tired and had to stop in the middle of the road. There was a young boy nearby and I wondered what would happen if I fainted in front of him. I started thinking about naps and a Wikipedia-esque hologram appeared, listing off the different types of naps. There was "a light nap," "a good, refreshing nap," "an overextended nap," maybe a couple others, and "an Endless Nap." (Far in the back of my mind I was reminded of an OMORI fan-song called Endless Dreaming.)

They all had descriptions and that one's was something like, "A slumber with no conclusion; a lifetime doomed to interminable rest." I thought, So like a coma? An alternative definition was, "A student sleeping through exam day. They sleep through test after test, hyperbolically deemed a series of endless naps."

I eventually turned back to my house and saw my mom beckoning Nile with a treat, him running to meet her. I woke up after that.

———

I woke up some minutes before my 6:15 alarm and wrote down my dream. I didn't have to go to school in the morning because the freshmen were taking some test, so I wrote down my dream and tried to do WILD. It took over an hour to fall back asleep, but it was not for naught!

———

Dream #3 (Lucid):
I had a false awakening in my bed and heard my dad playing with Nile downstairs. It seemed to be a really intense game and I could hear Nile hyperventilating from how much he was exerting himself. I was a bit concerned about his health, but figured it was fine since he's a dog. (I was also disappointed that my WILD attempt had failed and wanted to try again.)

When my dad finished playing, he came up to my room (even though I had been hoping he wouldn't) and tried to wake me up. I told him that I didn't have school this morning and he left dejectedly, saying something about how the house was so quiet and lonely. Even in the dream I knew it was out of character for him, and was thinking about the ruckus he had been making with Nile not five minutes ago.

I looked at my clock and saw it was 10:01. Oh no, I thought, I was supposed to meet J at the library at 10:00 today [true]! Better hurry.

I climbed down from my bunk bed and went to my drawer. There was what seemed to be a really horrible Miku costume on the ground, and I wondered if my mom had made it. It was extremely small and discolored, made out of some gross wrinkly material, so there was no way anyone could wear it.

Then I opened my drawer and saw a bunch of frilly, flamboyant clothing that I would never wear. I felt threatened, but only for a moment. I considered the possibility that my mom had replaced all my clothes because she wanted me to wear these instead. But it was still strange, so I decided to do a reality check.

The first one, finger-through-palm, didn't work. Then I tried the nose-plug RC, and it also didn't work, but I kept trying. Something was not right about this. After a full five seconds of paying close attention, my breath shakily started coming through!

"Yes!" I smiled and wondered if it had taken so long because I was exhaling in real life until that point, and was relieved that my intense inhaling hadn't roused me.

I was pretty clear-headed and remembered my goals immediately. I looked at my open bedroom door and tried to summon a dream guide. A faint shadow appeared to walk in, but it wasn't efficient enough. I imagined someone behind me, hands on my shoulders, but it just gave me a sensation of warmth. I sighed and moved to leave the room, nearly bumping into a young lady, 21-ish, if I had to guess).

I looked her over. She had light-pink skin and oddly realistic—as opposed to anime—blue eyes rimmed in eyeshadow. There were black dots on her upper cheeks and nose, but they weren't freckles; maybe makeup or something alien. She had a small, smirking, red-painted mouth and a pink bun with two tassel hairpins going through it. She was wearing a colorful, kimono-like dress, maybe sandals too, and her nails were dyed a deeper pink than her skin.

A little dumbfounded, I asked, "Are you my dream guide?"

"Is that what you really want?" she responded, and I wasn't sure what to say. Then she ran past me and jumped out the window.

"Hey, wait!" I yelled, rushing to the window, being careful to avoid the glass shards. She was already on the ground running away. It did not really occur to me to chase her, and I went downstairs.

My brothers were home, playing video games. I briefly wondered why since they didn't have off this morning, but didn't think too hard about it. They were judging me for some reason, I could tell. Then I stepped into the living room and BAM, half my vision went away just like in my ten-second lucid. It wasn't quite as unstable as that time, though.

I rubbed my hands together, and although the sensation was vivid, it wasn't doing much. So I held a hand over my blind eye (it didn't look like I was staring into darkness, but rather a wall of skin), and some of my vision came back, but it was extremely distorted. I tried everything to stabilize it! Focused on smell, all I smelled was air; focused on sound, my brother was playing a shooting game on a tablet, which helped a bit I think. I stomped my feet and listened to the thuds, and yelled, "One of you talk to me!" to which my dad responded from behind. (Don't remember with what.)

I thought about closing my eyes and trying to teleport but was worried that when I opened them I'd be awake (like last time). I guess I could've spun around or fallen backward, but I didn't think of it.

Alas, despite my best efforts, my surroundings were gradually replaced with that of my bed. I was awake.

———

It was 8:40 when I woke up. This will be the last entry in my current (physical) dream journal, since I've run out of space. That's something of an achievement, to fill up a DJ, right? And this LD is a nice way to end it off

Here are some quick sketches of the dream scenes:

I wrote this during the night, so I mostly just recorded the lucid part in detail. I might elaborate more on the non-lucid later. The child-man-ape things were rather creepy, and might be worth sharing.
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Up kind of late. It’s about 1:00 now. I took about 2mg of melatonin a bit ago.

2:30-2:48

WBTB, read some scripture, went to the bathroom, tried a bit of meditation.

4:30am

Dream Guide (Lucid)

Apes, and those four child-man-ape things. They want to attack me, bite me with their teeth. A monument that I think is not well constructed. Trying to sleep in the monument, then worrying about the cops waking me up. Guitar dog. Machine, which is my friend. It takes off down the road, and wrecks. I worry about someone or something being hurt. I go to see, and find that a couple of little animals seem to have been wounded. I feel it’s my responsibility to shoot them.
...I decide to hold off on shooting the animals until I look up whether or not they feel pain. Heading back out of the barn, I decide that I should do a RC for some reason. I do a nose pinch, and can still breathe. I’m dreaming! I think about how this is worth 10 points (possibly forgetting that the competition hasn’t started yet), and then think I should work on a task. What task? At first I think I try to find a place – I don’t remember what exactly. Having a bit of trouble finding it, and then I decide to try to find my dream guide. I start asking for the guide, or possibly saying something like “the guide is around the next corner”. Now I’m no longer in the barn, but in a larger building. I see someone up ahead. There is a short, but wide, flight of stairs leading to a corridor that runs perpendicular, and this is where the man is. I start chasing after him (there is something for a moment or two where there is someone else with him but I don’t know what becomes of the other guy) and catch up to him. He is a somewhat heavyset man, with a somewhat thin, sandy-colored beard. He is wearing some kind of shirt or jacket, I think, with words on the back. He has a kind of archaeologist feel to him, a bit of a cross between a couple of archaeologists I know in waking life and “Nigel” from the Jumanji movie.

“Are you my dream guide?” I ask.

“Yes, I guess so,” he replies.

My memory is a bit fuzzy here, and I might lose lucidity for a bit. I have a couple of business cards that I try to fish out of my pocket and give to him. He is looking for a site to do some archaeological work, and seems interested in a place where I worked once. I seem to regain some lucidity, I think I want the guide to teach me something. He responds by pushing me down a set of stairs. I get the feeling that there is something he wants me to learn on my own, and at this point he isn’t going to help me (at least in a micro-managing sort of way). I remember thinking that he got me out of somewhere (a backrooms type situation, or something).

Now I’m in a basement area. I seem to lose lucidity again. Someone is messing with an explosive – there is some chemical that makes people do weird things. I try to hide (with someone else?) while he sets off the explosive. Then there is something about going back in time, or trying again, to stop him. The solution is not to do something with the match as the man tries to light it. This makes him try to light it with a match that isn’t working as well (otherwise he would just start rubbing the now wood with his hand until it caught fire). Then I am able to stop him, although I think his hand and arm now look like a glowing, charred piece of wood. There is a large freezer nearby, and we go in. There is some conversation about whether or not I remember smells and such (maybe – the memory is kind of fuzzy). He seems to be hallucinating. He is also a reflection in a large mirror now, and is naked. I take the mirror out of the freezer, and out to where the burning stuff was. I think maybe the transition from the cold to the heat might cause the glass to crack, which it does. I think I drop the mirror. It falls backwards to the ground, and shatters. I worry that this might have been the only way to access my dream guide, but someone nearby says something about that not being the case.

Elaboration on the Child-Man-Apes

There were some people, possibly scientists. Actually, Charles Darwin might have been there. I get the idea that they may have been discussing evolution. They were going to do some test with an ape, involving it putting boards/shingles up against the wall of a cabin. I seem to be involved in some way. I think the ape attacks me. It is as though I've done something wrong, and as a consequence I'm now under attack not only by the ape, but by four creatures. These creatures look like a cross between large children, or sickly adults, and chimpanzees. They come after me, trying to bite at me. I seem to recall the thought of their teeth biting me was specifically repulsive. I think I go hide somewhere, also trying to sleep, possibly. But there is still that creepy thought that the creatures will find me. This might be where I come across the guitar dog - which is a sort of cross between a guitar and a dog. I really like this dog, and lay there petting it. It has some weird gelatinous thing lining the outside of its stomach. This eventually becomes a machine, I think, about the size of an automobile and with a couple doll-like pieces. I treat this like it is living. When I turn around and go back to where I had been laying, it moves away on its own and starts off down the street. I chase after, worrying that it might hurt someone. It does, in fact, wreck. When I show up to the scene, it appears that it has injured some small deer or rabbit-like things. I feel responsible for putting them out of their misery, and have a shotgun with me. I don't want to, but I feel like I should put them down. I try to catch, them, and go into a barn looking for them. This leads into the dream above...

10.11.2022
4:00 PM

My Gals WILD

I am half asleep during a nap and I realize I might be able to inter a dream. I feel like my eyes are closed and don't want to accidentally open my real eyes so I pull my eyelids open with my dream fingers and see a dark hallway.

I am in my childhood home like I am at the start of most of my lucids even though I haven't lived there in a long time. I walk into the family room and see my girlfriend is laying on the couch! I decide to try summoning Juliana too so I reach my hand back behind me and feel her hand. I pull her forward and get a glimpse of Juliana before I get to excited and wake up.

08.142022
10:00 AM

Smiley (DILD)

I am in my childhood home and lucid. I walk out to the backyard and the sun is setting. Juliana steps into view right in front of me and smiles deeply, the sun and the oak tre behind her. She is a 5'2 woman in her 20s with short dark hair and wearing a simple black dress. I feel both her and my happiness and it causes me to wake up.

04.19.2022
08:00 AM

The Hungry Ghost (DILD)

This dream took place while in was at a hotel.

I am in a large and well decorated home. I know that it is a dream and in this dream this is my home even though I have never lived in a house like this. I feel the presence of a person nearby but there is no one in the room. I go up the stairs and around the corner to find myself face to face with an older woman who starts speaking in some alien language. Her mouth moves in very strange ways. I wake up.

When I talked to my girlfriend she says she had a nightmare too. We both felt incredibly negative emotionally for the rest of the day. It was very draining. I realized I might have attracted my first hungry ghost/energy vampire because I had been doing a lot of energy work without knowing how to effectively shield myself. We cleansed ourselves and our apartment with sage when we got back and then I warded the place against any spirits. After that we felt so much better and we haven't felt that draining feeling since.

04.26.2022
11:00 AM

Genevieve Artadi (DILD)

I am in a house I don't recognize and spontaneously lucid after a chain of non-lucid fragments. I reach back and Juliana grabs my forearm. She walks forward and she looks like Genevieve Artadi from Knower. (She changed her appearance in our wonderland to look like her a few days ago.) Unfortunately, the dream destabilized from excitment. When I tried summoning her again I pulled forward a disembodied arn. That happens sometimes so better luck next time.

03.3.2022
09:00 AM

Still in College (DILD)

I am in a college classroom and there is talk of a final paper that is supposed to be turned in soon. I don't remember attending a single day of this class and I certainly don't have a paper to turn in so I start to get very worried. The professor comes in and addresses the class. He is a guy with shaggy brown hair. People start passing papers to the front. I remember I already graduated so I start getting worried that maybe my diploma will be rejected if I don't pass this class. Maybe I will have to take it again! I realize how silly this is but I don't yet get lucid. Instead I leave the classroom and try to find the office where I can get more information.

As I walk through the campus I realize it's not even like any of the colleges or schools I've attended. That is when I do a noes plug rc and become lucid. Infront of me there is a open grassy area with an amphitheater to the left. It looks sort of like my junior high school but not quite. I reach my hand back and feel a feminine hand take hold of mine. I say, "Hello Juliana." and she says, "Hi!". I turn around and she is there. She has bright green hair this time. She wears casual clothes under a white robe and she wears a matching white withces hat. Her belt is green to match her hair. "Look how long my hair is!" She says and turns to show that her green hair reaches past the bottom of her shoulder blades. (She magically changes her hair often.) The only thing that is off is her height, since we agreed she is about 5'6. I take her other hand in mine and give both of her hands a gentle downward tug. Her height adjusts to be the correct height.

"What do you want to do?" She asks. I respond, "Let's go down a slide!" (I have no idea why this is what I chose instead of my actual goals.) I imagine that my childhood home must not be far from here and we have a playset with a slide there. I put an arm around Juliana's side and lift off the ground.
I fly us through a neighborhood that looks only slightly similar to the one my home was in. I find the house and land us in the backyard. The playset is much more fancy looking than ours. The slide is big and spirally! We take turns going down the slide and have a blast. After a bit I say, "Let's play on the swings!" and run over to a swing when I am spontaneously woken up.

comment dream lucid

Thinking a lot about dreaming before falling asleep.

Ramp
Driving a motorbike off a ramp, jumping into the air. It was supposed to test something, maybe how someone got killed. Beaches all around and low tide.

Walk with V
With V in the forest, talking about how often I go out. I told him I help my family walking their dog.

Hair
I was talking with someone about which hairstyle I would like.

False lucid
I was walking down a path, playing some game. I think I did it for a second time and in an opposite direction, but that was just a vague memory. The rules were that you had to be lucid and do various tasks.
There was a corner of a rock where the path led along a narrow ledge and I met a boy and a girl there. I offered the girl if she wanted to sit with me for a while and we crawled into this grassy alcove, letting the boy pass.
I asked her what her name was and she told me her name. I told her I was Indigo. I asked how it was going so far and she said good, but she actually wanted to go so she wouldn't waste her time. So we said goodbye.
It occurred to me that I've been lucid for a long time, that I've never had a LD this long, like 2 hours. But good for me - long LD = better chance of winning for me, while others have to do it in parts.
I checked the paper with the tasks and it said to rubb our hands, so I did it, even though I thought I didn't need to, but I saw the organizer in front of me, so I wanted to get points.
Then I saw more organizers around the corner and there was a fridge and I climbed on it and rearranged some food. I suddenly knew they were evil and decided to confront them - I told them I knew who they were and that they were serving the dark lord. They had a gun. I said they could kill me, but I had a plan to escape by waking up
I closed my eyes and opened them and nothing, I was still there. That surprised me. I tried again and failed again. I remembered the reddit poll "can you wake up from a LD" and my answer "yes, reliably". That's what I get for that.
I tried blinking really fast again, but it didn't work.
Then I was in this labyrinth of big metal cabinets. I felt like I'd been lucid for an awfully long time, hours. I asked the organizers what they had done to my body in reality, that I was still asleep. They grinned, which worried me. Maybe I'm in a coma or something. But maybe not, and I have to wake up sometime. I figured there was probably a purpose for me there, something I needed to do. Somehow save everything and defeat them.
I had this stick in my hand with some roots on the end. I've been poking around under the cupboards with it, seeing if there's some object that will allow me to save everything. I must have a reason to have that stick for...
I felt myself waking up, and I thought "finally".
I knew instantly that I was waking up from a false lucid.

I logged keywords for the dream because I really liked it and wanted to remember.
I felt confident that there could be a LD after this. I reiterated the intention to lucid dream. It took me some time to fall asleep again.

Train to Birmingham
I was at the station and it was about trains. Z said there was a train leaving for Birmingham and she was going to take it. I said that the train to Birmingham was useless to me, that we usually go via Manchester, and she was surprised.
I walked with her on the way to the trains and there was the time and the Birmingham sign by the steps to the platform and it was flashing as if the train was about to leave. I hesitated for a moment but let it go, it wouldn't do me any good.
I went back to the main concourse to look at the departures board to see what else was coming. The board was just changing. That's all I remember - the next was probably the transition into the false awakening.

Real lucid - Meeting my dream guide
I woke up in our bedroom and immediately suspected it was a FA. But as soon as I realized it, my vision got worse and I could only see two blurs. I was afraid I was going to wake up, but I knew I was still in a dream. It occurred to me to start picturing a deck chair and a beach or something, as what people do when they have sleep paralysis.
Suddenly something disturbed me and I opened my eyes and I was awake and it was still a FA. Yes!
I sat on the bed and R was awake next to me and there was also J. I knew I could ignore them, but I wanted to make them disappear with a snap of my fingers like in the daydream rehearsal, so I tried, but it didn't work, which I guess amused them a little.
I started looking at what was the same in the room and what was different. Almost everything looked the same to me. There were these shelves and these pictures. I noticed that the frames of the pictures were a different color than they were IRL (actually, almost everything was different and we had no pictures or shelves IRL).
There was also a wall cabinet with a brown fabric curtain and I had the feeling that something green was peeking out - an iguana. I went to look, but my cat came out.
Goals! Verbal commands and then meeting my dream guide. I try "Clarity now!" but the dream already has great clarity, so what can improve? On the contrary, it gets slightly worse. But only for a moment. I leave the room and try "Increase lucidity", but nothing noticeable happens. I see a green jacket on the rack and I try to make it disappear. Might be easier than with humans. But nothing. I try again and the whole hallway to the living room disappears in a blur.
I use the door to the second bedroom and walk into a large room that looks like a gym. There are mats, exercise equipment, and large windows facing the city street.
I try to do a somersault on the mat, but I stop halfway through and just roll. The movement feels realistic.
Goals! I walk across the room and shout "Dream, dream, give me my dream guide".
I turn around and there's a curtain to the left of the windows (probably a mini room with more equipment) and my guide comes out from behind the curtain. She's a black woman, in her fifties, maybe early sixties (probably not, her hair is still dark brown/black and not grey), curvy but not obese, with big boobs. I met her once before in a daydream and she was an old white woman but I know it’s her.
I said, "You've been here the whole time." She nods.
We go and sit down on the leather upholstered couch that's appeared there for us. I said I didn't know how much time we had, or maybe she asked, either way, I knew she wanted and needed to know.
I replied, "I'm not going to lie to you. I didn't come straight here. But I tried not to linger too long."She nods.
I asked: "Will you teach me something?" She smiled.
I started to wake up. Maybe she wanted to teach me DEILD? But more likely I was too excited

This is a dream I had back in November 2006, recording it here so I don't lose it again.

My first few attempts of calling for my SG I would feel an intense energy sensation and wake up. My last attempt I asked a DC if I could speak with my SG and the DC pointed at a lady standing across the room, I could tell this was my SG as I felt her energy and felt honored to be in her presence. I asked her “whats it like to be a spirit?” after that everything's a blur, I woke up about 10 minutes later wondering what happened in those 10 minutes.

To add to this, I also recall after waking up that day having a feeling like I didn’t fit inside my own body properly, like I was too big for it, that my spirit was more vast than the physical vehicle containing it.

12/7/20

Kostas the Grecian baker is showing off a pumpkin plant growing on the wall of his bakery, talking about keeping the roots on the wall because it is so beautiful. I think he wants to harvest the blossoms to cook. I agree whole heartily and take some video for him.

I am walking down a hallway in a school going to class, all other classes have already begun. No one minds that I am late to the room.
I sit down at an open desk with my backpack. Everyone is already going over a test or homework.
When I sit down the desk is small and I fall backwards with the desk attached to me doing a roll, everyone kind of laughs but nothing is too disrupted.
I realize I am 32 and have been out of school for quite a while. I shout 'hey everyone! This is a dream!'
They cheer and start to get up, the teacher looks defeated. I say out loud that this should be obvious because I am older and have been out of highschool for over a decade, so this is definitely a dream.
I tell the whole class to pinch their nose and breathe to prove they are dreaming. Some are confused, some do it. I do it together with them and prove that I am on fact dreaming. It's a great feeling.
I leave the classroom, there is a group of students standing in the doorway blocking my way. I ask them if this is a door, because it definitely looks like a door. And one by one they move out of my way begrudgingly. The dream destabilizes multiple times in the hallway so I drop to the floor and feel the cool tile with my hands to re-stabilize the dream the hallway comes back into clarity and I begin walking again.
This happens several times in the dream I always drop down and feel the ground or rub my hands as I feel the dream start to collapse and with some focus it rematerializes around me.
While outside I fly around with ease, not as much effort as I remember it taking. I have a sort of iron man pose.
The school is now a 1800's military academy and I see rows of students/soldiers carrying bayonets.
They are scared of me, one of them throws their bayonet and almost hits me as I fly over. I fly higher into the air and over the pond. It's an old campus with a large pond in the middle and many older trees like southern live oaks.
The dream starts to crash again so I land and feel the grass through my fingers,I pay attention to the sounds of the water and the street nearby. The scene comes back but the soldiers are gone. There are creatures now moving faster than vision almost.
I reach out my hands and control one that has gone by me and is almost on the other side of the water.
I intend to control its movement and wind it back like a toy. I see it's movement slow. It is like an animated toyish looking trex that belongs on a playground spring but it is moving around very fast, it moves backwards and forwards and I am content with my control so I let it go.

I tell someone close to me that I am dreaming and they tell me to come with them, we all get in a car and they tell me I have to meet Theodore Roosevelt, they tell me that I'm gonna love Teddy.
He is showing me his collection of cars, one of them looks like a pre-model T but it's combined with a wooden boat. Without saying anything I help him take it down off a rack and fold the wheels down to drive. I complement the antiquity of the collection and tell him the oldest one is my favorite, Teddy is much more informal than I am expecting as he is wearing swim shorts and a safari hard hat. His mustache is large and pointy.
We go into an army bunker with other officers and the dream starts to collapse again. I drop down and feel the cool floor, then the windowsill and start to take in all the details and senses. The dream comes back but the men are gone. There is a redhead now who looks similar to Lucile ball. She is sitting on the edge of a desk in an all khaki military dress.
She is pleased to meet me, I ask if it's really her and she nods. I am so pleased to see her again. I wrap my arms around her lower half and just embrace her. I tell someone else in the room that this is the Prime Matriarch. She is my guide, I have been looking for her for literally months. It is an immense relief to be finally close to her so I just breathe it in for a few minutes.
There are several props and maps around the room she begins trying to show me things while explaining, I don't grasp the meaning of anything she says but the warmth of her presence is comforting.
The dream destabilizes again and I rub my hands together quickly and feel the walls of the barracks.
I hear talking and can feel sensations of the walls but my vision hasn't returned yet. I imagine where I just was and intend to step back into the barracks.

I am now with a couple old friends in their apartment. They show me a collectable figurine they have from one of the Batman cartoons. He undoes the box in a meticulous way to show me the figure inside and puts it all back before going into the other room.
The box falls forward and I grab it to put back on the shelf. Everything has become shifted in the box and I attempt to put it right. But nothing fits the way it was. I try to fold the box back up the correct way and am unsuccessful, I know they will be displeased that I messed up their collectable. They are leaving to go get ice cream across the street I tell them to wait for me while I struggle with the box
I finally give up and admit defeat, I have the thought that they will think I was trying to play with the toy rather than admire the collectable. They go ahead of me to the ice cream place anyway.

I am now in a 50's style diner, it's packed with classmates and people I used to know, they are all at different tables having their own conversations. I gather that I am still dreaming but don't intend to change anything.
I see the girl with blue hair and I tug on it as I walk by her but don't say anything. She follows me around so I talk to her in passing, then a girl I used to date runs up to me like an excited puppy and tries to derail my attention. It works and I give her the drink I have in my hand. The dream starts to crash so I drop to the floor again to re-stabilize.

The diner disappears, I am now in a highrise corner new york flat with large windows looking out to the night time city and only one other guy in it. He looks identical to Mark Sheppard. I tell him that I am dreaming and he agrees with me, I go through several periods of almost waking up but always come back into this room. Maybe 4 or 5 times. He is impressed but attempts to get my name. When he speaks details it is gibberish and the same with me, so he tries to write it down. They look like wingdings combined with korean characters. I describe very clearly what I see.
He tells me he wrote his name. But I cannot read it. He is very amused that we can have normal conversation but certain details seem to be 'edited' in real time from us. He tells me to find him when I wake up.
I write my name down in permanent marker but he tells me it just looks like random gibberish to him. We are both amused that we can't seem to share each other's name. I do manage to piece it together one of the times I phase back into his apartment after partially destabilizing. He says his name is Marc Bilit. I need to find him when I wake up. He is also surprised when I come back into the room. Apparently when I destabilize I just disappear from right in front of him, and when I come back I just pop back into existence. He is very tickled by this occurrence. Marc Bilit. Remember Marc Bilit it's very important that I find him when I wake up. We are working to understand cross communication between dreams.

Last night I finally had two lucid dreams! I was following my normal routine according to my dream goals, and was starting to feel a little disappointed since I have been trying hard to have a lucid dream for 8 days now with no success. Every time I manage a DEILD I feel so much hope like I will be able to WILD now. Actually experiencing a transition helps me to know that it's possible!

End of a long non lucid dream I don't care about remembering, but at the end of it I was trapped in a parking garage with a large grizzly momma bear. At first I saw a bear in the distance, and I was hoping it wouldn't notice me, then I look down at my feat and see a baby bear that looks friendly. But I know that momma bears are very aggressive about protecting their babies and a lot of attacks happen around these type of misunderstandings. Anyway I look back towards the mom and of course she has noticed me and thinks I have taken her baby and starts charging me. I was terrified, I have a dream phobia about being attacked by bears, and I remembered that being attacked by a bear is one of my dream signs and BOOM

Right when I realize that being attacked by a bear is a dream sign I become low level lucid and a totally new dream forms around me with a pop. I am in an apartment complex like I lived in as a kid and am standing around the community pool. I do the usual lucid things noticing how beautiful it looks and all that then I remembered that I wanted to try to practice having waking life self-awareness and memory as well as try to emotionally experience a true non-dual perspective in a lucid dream. I was able to practice my self awareness and memory check like I do in waking life, and I felt like at the time I strongly knew it was a dream, and had some waking life self awareness. When I thought "this is all me, this dream all comes from me" I had like a brief flash of vividness, like everything in the dream pulsed with a color change briefly then went back to normal.

Then as I was looking around I realized that there are no dream characters here, and I am all alone. I have a dream goal to talk to a "real" person in my dreams, and maybe meet a dream guide or find someone who wants to go on an adventure with me. So I start trying to call out "is there anyone who can answer my questions?" "Is there anyone who will talk to me?" and after asking two or three times I hear someone say "sure well talk with you" behind me and I spin around and the two girls from my last lucid dream are walking towards me! This is exciting for me because this is the first recurring lucid dream characters I have ever had! They are the same height, maybe 5'10, and I again have the impression that they are sisters. One of them has blond hair, pulled up in a pony tail, and is the one who does all the talking in this dream. The other sister has silky black hair, and always stands in my peripheral vision so I don't ever get a real good look at her.

I am very excited that they are here so I hurry over to them feeling like rushed like I have a million questions to ask and I can already feel myself starting to wake up a little, I know its going to last a couple more minutes at best like my other DILDS because I catch lucidity as I am waking up.

I ask the blond sister "How can I get lucid more often" and she smiles indulgently at me as this is the third time I have asked her this question. In my last lucid I asked her this question I remember feeling like her answer was revolutionary and brilliant while listening to it, but couldn't remember one word of what she said when I woke up, so I really paid attention this time. She said "The most important thing is to develop/have a lucid mindset... and more words I didn't understand she is continuing to speak but its over my head". Because I was really paying attention I can tell that I am not really understanding what she is saying anymore, so I interrupt her and ask "wait, what exactly does it mean to have a lucid mindset? What SHOULD I be focusing on? What emotions should I be feeling? HOW?"

At this point the dream is starting to fade. She looks a at me a little exasperated that I interupted her, and then she looks over my shoulder and stops speaking and just kind of smiles at me in a kind way. This is something I am noticing that when my dreams are ending whoever I'm talking to looks over my shoulder and its like they see something that confirms to them I'm about to wake up, they usually just stop talking and give me that friendly maybe see you later smile. Then the dream ends

I remember that I can try and DEILD. I focus on laying still as I wake up. I have some fear about forgeting my first lucid dream if I try to DEILD and it fails and I wake up in a non lucid so I briefly remember the previous dream as I focus on not moving.

When I wake up, get back to my body, I still feel very sleepy and I feel like a DEILD will be successful, I feel like the dream is just below my bed and if I relax strongly enough I will just sink into it. So I just totally let go of my body, like totally limp bone, like if I was standing I would just turn into a puddle on the ground, and I get a strong falling feeling like I am sinking through my bed. I feel like I am falling into the dream beneath my bed, like it is a giant bubble, the surface of the bubble is a brilliant white light and as I sink through it it feels very peaceful and I totally cannot real my waking life body AT ALL at this point. I sink through the white light and BOOM

I am back in the apartment complex of the last dream again. I think holy crap I did it, that was totally a WILD transition and I made it into a dream! I am in the office next to the pool area. I look out the window and see the two sisters are still here sitting in reclining pool chairs relaxing under an umbrella. I run out to them and they are excited to see me. I go up to the blond one who was talking before and she sits up in the chair goes cross legged and turns to face me ready to answer questions, I thought she looked very cute sitting like that and was happy that she was excited to see me, and willing to answer questions.

I am lucid still at this point, but less strongly so. I forgot to do any stabilizing in this dream and didn't bring my waking awareness or memory with me as strongly as I thought. I didn't think to do any checking since I knew it was a WILD transition, but next time I'll know that even then my awareness needs a recharging in the dream. I know I wasn't as strongly lucid because this next conversation bit is fuzzier in my memory.

I ask her "do you believe there are things in dreams that do not come from me" I don't remember her exact answer but I remember she looked like it was a subject that she didn't really want to talk about but she did say yes.

At this point the dream was ending and I could feel myself waking up. I got close to her and I knew that I really wanted to remember her words this time, so I told her "crap I'm waking up, can you do a review in like five seconds please!"

She nodded and said "first develop a lucid mindset, then well find out what your name means" I interrupt at this point and say "huh we didn't do that" she continues "then well do a tarot card reading" I interrupt again and say "we didn't do that either!" Then for the first time the other sister speaks, she is standing at my left shoulder "you are confusing him" I look toward her to see her face but before I do I notice she is pointing with her finger, and it felt like she was controlling my focus with her finger because I started to look where she was pointing, and it was like I could notice something that I couldn't before because she was helping me to focus. And I noticed that the first sister had a beanie on and across her forehead stitched on the beanie it said "Tarra" and the second sister said "see thats her name" and so I asked Tarra what her sisters name was and she said "she's Skippy" like the board game risk. No idea what that means.

Sep 29 2018

Background - i didn't get nearly enough sleep during the week (b/t 5 and 6.5 hours a night) so i haven't had lucids since last sunday and have only been remembering 1-2 dreams a night on avg. so maybe this was sort of an extended REM rebound effect? i didn't sit down to meditate (although at many points i made myself hyper-aware) or visit the bathhouse, but anyway i remembered to do math in most of my lucids, got to talk to my dream guide (or it felt like it), and got my subconscious to play music. p. cool night!

3 NLs - before waking at 5:30 (went to sleep 11:45) (fortunately i wrote all of these down)
* in 9, my parents are talking to "Mr Jeff" in the front porch, talking about walking sticks as "staves", they examine one i found in the forest when we went to the cabin at the beginning of august
* in 8, seeing an older woman out of the apartment who had just helped F and I with something or was maybe just visiting. she has the body of a younger person but has surface-level wrinkles, almost like they're a painted-on texture with no depth (they're white) and I think she even had black hair. but her skin also looks quite dry. she reminded me of one of my neighbors who walks two dogs
* in 512 (grandpa's house) with F and my dad. F and I are sitting at the dining table across from each other, dad is to the right. i have tea and she has water, my dad asks for some of my soft drink because there's some rule that anytime i have soft drinks he gets a portion (he used to do this IRL too ;_ but i tell him i'm drinking tea and that i don't (or barely) drink soft drinks anymore, he points out a detailed list of times i've had soft drinks over the last year. i'm eating a wrap and unexpectedly i see a splotch of guacamole getting pushed out of the top like a tube of toothpaste, i lick it so it doesn't fall and i can vividly remember the taste - it was spot-on. really good guac!

LD 1 - WILD after WBTB - after lots of HI coming close to successful WILD, finally it's sort of like an FA, in bed, can see light coming through curtain, sit up and move curtain (feel body shift into dream body). It's light out, I look around, look at body and try to transform, wake up. go back to sleep pretty quickly after that

LD chain 2 - WILD, DEILDs, and DILDs - too many so I'll only write summaries - didn't write all of these down because after finally waking from the chain I just dove right in to the second chain
* walking outside in area between 9 and neighbor's house, asked subconscious for music to play, got some symphonic. it came and went, but as it faded I would conduct it with my hands and it would get louder. after a bit the music changed to a medium tempo pop instrumental and I conducted it as well. I was focusing on the sight/sound/touch sensations involving the wood fence, white lattice, the foliage, grass, swingset, etc. very vivid
* converted FA in 8 bedroom, summoning big cuddly dogs (F's grandma has a big dog so whenever we go over there like we did yesterday, I cuddle with it); in the dream they're very warm, i'm starting to feel temperature more in dreams whereas before with touch i would only feel pressure; one of my goals is to actually feel the bones inside my hands and the muscle contractions
* something with F in 9, can't remember details now...
* morning daylight scene, approach white service van and enter, there's a moldy (not really decomposed but with a green patina almost?) girl in the back sort of under the carpet (skin sort of the texture of the under-carpet material in floor boards) I try to move her head and her fully black eyes open, I kiss her (or do CPR?) and every time I do she blows air at me, weird weird weird wtf
* there were a lot more (i'm getting vague impressions of more FAs and maybe one more outdoor one), they're just lost on me -- i'm giving it time and hopefully i'll catch a few more during the day

LD chain 3 - WILD, DEILDs, and DILDs - too many so I'll only write summaries - had these after a brief wakeup and pee
* met dream guide as pudgy girl (reminds me of an outgoing version of F's little cousin), talked to her about my thoughts and whether she was real. I didn't ask my subconscious for the dream guide, I just saw her and knew -- i asked "are you my DG?" and she said yes, we held hands and walked through a crowded mall and talked for a bit.
* fight/murder in crack, blame - there are two men and a woman, the man and woman are fighting (they're married?) on a second-story floor with long cracks perpindicular to the hallway, so that you can see through to the first story (long fall); the second man walks up and says something to the first man that makes him jump through the crack. the woman is distraught but turns to the second man (her lover?) for comfort. at first i'm a semi-lucid observer but after this i summon my dream guide and he shows up in a doorway behind me as a tall built older man, feel his sides (like obliques) through shirt and they're warm. he says it's the only way he could get to me (like KPAX sort of - why is a soap bubble round) (when I first see him I saw other girls who looked similar but definitely different to the girl DG from before, their eyes were different)
* red curtain in parent's bedroom and transition scene - cool technique where I was looking in a mirror and I summoned a huge red curtain and threw it sort of over and around me and wrapped myself in its suspended self to transition to the next dream, however the next dream was somehow "too small" and so it faded quickly as I couldn't get a grasp on it
* lost a lot of these too... will keep trying to recall

as i lay in bed trying to recall and recount these dreams, i'm perfectly still, when i finally do try to move there's heavy resistence and then a snap! and i awaken, it turns out i had been in a detailed FA the whole time, as a result I lost some of the lucids. before waking I could recall 13 lucids total. not too bummed though as I'm sure I'll have a lot tomorrow night too!

06.17.2018
08:00 AM

Potion Lesson (DILD)

I am surprised I forgot how I realized I was dreaming in this one from not journaling it for a week! I know I was outside in a city. I stop and realize I'm dreaming. I remember my goal of summoning my dream guide again so I reach back and feel her hand. I pull her forward and it's her! Man, I always forget how tall she is. She is at least 6'2". this time she has natural looking red hair and normal clothes, no witch hat. We greet each other and she asks If it's time for another dream magic lesson. I say yes and get excited to see what I'm going to learn today. She grabs my hand and guides me into one of the near high-rises and up the stairs. Maybe on the 4th floor we come to a room which she unlocks and opens. It is moodily lit inside and there are shelves full of colorful bottles. In the middle of the room there is a cauldron and, behind that, a table with stuff for making potions. "Time to learn how to make potions." She says and starts getting things ready. I ask what kind of potions are we going to be making? Lucidity potions? Super Strength Potions? LSD?" I get pretty excited and the dream starts to blur. She starts to explain but I wake up.

Heh. Puns...

Anyways, yesterday was pretty surreal in terms of the 'stuff' that happened. Glad to be back.

Day 9:

Fell asleep at: 10:30 PM

Woke up at: 6:45 AM

Nothing here.



Day 10:

Fell asleep at: 10:30 PM

Woke up at: 6:30 AM

Oddly enough, even though I slept for, like, 8 hours, I felt oddly refreshed upon waking up. Though I felt like I was in the verge of collapse at Band (Which was only an hour later), so... Yeah.


Dream 01: Bar Fight

In a rustic, old bar somewhere, I was locked in mortal combat with some black jumpsuit wearing thugs. I don't remember much about that fight, the only notable thing being Torbjorn chasing after a giant alcohol barrel. I'm guessing he worked there or something.

Later on, my sister and my brother-in-law pull me and my older sister aside to talk about something. We sit down on a wooden booth. She gives us both a lecture about how this generation is scatterbrained and can't focus on one thing.

I mock her, reminding her of the fact that, generally, she was also pretty disorganized. I think I remember saying, "Hay gurlfriend, hay gurl, hay, hay, h a y ~ " to her while she was telling us that.


Dream 02: Vick

Eventually, I find myself inside the Thinkspace. It's a grayish-blue gradient void that holds nothing inside of it.


Except for Vick.


Imagine the guy from Hotel Impossible, only swole and wearing a wifebeater shirt. And with a really bad attitude.

Look, I don't really believe in ghosts, imaginary friends, tulpas, or whatever the hell you call them, but this guy was most definitely trying to fit himself into the 'dream guide' category.

He pulls me aside to give me some tough advice. "Back then you at least had SOME pride, SOME push. Even if it was a DIFFERENT kind of drive, I don't want you to die on the hill you're heading."

I don't know why I named him Vick. Maybe he introduced himself as something else but faulty dream memory distorted it into the name Vick. I'll take his advice to heart.


Dream 03: The Cow-Pig-Crystal Planet

I'm out and about during the night, along with my family. My mom is driving the car as we exit the neighborhood.

I think my brother or something tells me something about an exoplanet that could support life.

The scene switches to my room. There's a card next to the old Wii I have, which shows a diagram of the planet. On it, it shows a picture of a human, a cow, a pig, and a crystal. The human is crossed out, but all the others have a check mark next to them.

So this means that the planet is hospitable for cows, pigs, and gems(?), but not for humans. Of course, I think it's stupid, but I keep the card anyway because it looks nice.


Dream 04: Freaky Big-Headed People

I think my SubC may have an affinity for creating fictional races. Earlier a woman in a previous dream turned into a white-skinned, red eyed, green haired, and yes, peach-nippled alien creature; which I named the Dreamwalkers. Now there's a race of native people that...Well, you'll see.

"This incident was more like a "from me to you" kinda thing. Not exactly real journalism."

The dream begins with a stereotypically Boston sounding man (Presumably a journalist) giving his thoughts on the discovery of the exploitation of a native people in the U.S. It also shows a newspaper headline, all in black and white, which indicates that it took place in the 50s.

In the modern day, my art teacher (Mr.L) decides to travel south to meet these native people, probably out of empathy.

Once he gets there, in his old pale-green truck, he goes to talk to one of the women who interviewed the reporter of days gone by. I (The observer) come to the conclusion that these people age much slower than humans. I also see that these native people look like those heads the Olmecs made. These heads are much bigger and much more artificial looking than our own, much like those heads. They're farming tea leaves, it seems.

The girl looks no older than 10 or 11 years old, and is very soft-spoken and polite. She wears a ragged, white dress and a pair of cheap sandles. She is fluent in both English and whatever language those people speak.

For some reason, Mr.L and the girl have to stay outside while they wait for some Bighead to finish doing something. A timelapse occurs, and about a day and a half passes as Mr.L gets more and more drowsy and impatient, while the girl looks completely fine.

I'm willing to guess these people also don't get tired, which would explain why they would be perfect for exploitation. Hey, I'm not supporting it, hell no, but I can see the 'logic' behind it.

The young girl questions why Mr.L is pacing around, and he retorts, "Look, I'm not going to stay up any longer. This is starting to become an annoyance; an iced tea annoyance. Look, don't 'bag me up' or something. Just hurry up so I can get out of here and go to sleep..."

I'm guessing he got what he wanted, as he gets in his truck and goes back home.

Dream character Amy reappeared and reminded me of the ice-cream we ate together.
I told her that it had been a dream, thinking the dream of Amy was real.
She said, "No, it was real." And I believed her. This is a fragment of a larger dream.
Wondering if Amy will be a dream guide sent from God. Looking forward to being in a lucid dream with Amy to see what part of my psyche and my spiritual life she represents.
Since she was eating ice-cream with me I sense it means that God wants me to share His joy with other people, and that the eating of the ice-cream was platonic and not sexual at all.

This morning is the start of Spellbee2's lucid dreaming competition and I wanted to start off with a bang so I did a WBTB late in the morning before taking 8mg of Galantamine and trying SSILD since that almost guarantees I will get some sort of lucid. Now that I got some points built up I feel comfortable focusing on personal goals or TOTMs rather than sheer number of points. Tomorrow I will probably have to forgo WBTB all together to ensure my sleep cycle remains on track after taking so much galantamine.

04.15.2017
08:00 AM

Magic Ninja Assasin Jutsu (Non-Lucid)

I am in my home town as a ninja assasin targeting some other ninja. He is only a teenager and does not stop running to confront me. While running I contemplate the strange riddles from my previous dream and wonder if they have something to do with how dream magic works despite not being lucid. I remember the riddles more clearly now. The first line, the fibonacci sequence, has to do with the golden ratio and the sacred geometry of the symbols used to activate magic spells. The rest of the riddles have to do with the different types of spells which could be described by their primary elements Water, fire, earth, and air. There is more arcane knowledge hidden in these riddles that I don't fully understand and I don't remember the riddles themselves. I remember that, in the dream, I felt like I did more water ninja magic and that fire magic is used mostly by warlocks. I don't remember if I the other ninja and I actually used any magic jutsus or anything but we did run really fast. haha

I get to a highschool where the teenage ninja disapears into the crowd. They are having some sort of end of the school year carnival which is conventient for him isn't it. I walk around now more cautious not to draw attention. Eventually I see him hoping a fence thinking I am distracted and the chase continues until I wake up.

04.15.2017
09:00 AM

Let's Get Some Points! (SSILD)

I feel REM kicking in quick from the galantamine and SSILD so I roll over. After a minute or so I try to get up but my muscles are locked tight. I wait a little longer and try rolling out of my body but even that doesn't work. Next, I try imagining walking to the bathroom with my eyes closed with out actually doing anything. I feel the sink faucet in my hand Which now I realize I was imagining all wrong . I open my eyes and I am fully in the dream. I nose plug and start brushing my teeth. I feel how the brush feels against my gums and lip and contemplate my goals. Once satisfied that I am fully stable i unplug my phone from my charger and run right through my front door, phasing strait through it. Thats one of three tasks down. I am in the hallway of my appartment complex. I hold up my hand and create a spark between my fingers that grows into a small fire ball. Its honestly a pathertic fire ball but it counts for my second three step task. I waste no time and fly straight up out of my appartment, phaseing through a full story of rooms. I land close to my old college campus down the street.

Students are walking around everywhere. I hear someone yell "MadMonkey" from a car behind me. I am struck by the fact they said my ussername rather than my real name and turn but I don't know which car they are in. I run to each parked car and don't see anyone I recognize. It was probably a team member or Juliana so I might as well just summon them. I reach back and grab a female hand. "Hi Juliana." I say. "Hello Matthew." They reply. I can tell I am taking this all a bit to fast and I start to feel the sheets of my bed and loose visuals. I remain calm and try and renter the dream.

I am back on the same street where I left off but not lucid. I wonder why I am in public with only my boxer briefs on and my phone in my left hand. That's right, I'm dreaming. haha I open my phone to see dreamviews open with this very dream journal entry half typed except this paragraph instead contains a conversation I would have had with Juliana. I don't remember much of it now but I was asking her how dream magic works. I get a phone call and a man with a thick russian accent asks for me by name. He says he found me online and now is hacking me and I must work with him or bad things will happen. I hang up and see now on my phone a group text chat with the same number and other people who have been hacked. Not long after this I wake up.

04.15.2017
11:00 AM

Galantamine Fragments (SSILD)

I am in the hallway of my child hood home contemplating why I am so confused and why this magic stuff keeps occupying my dreams. I go back to the void and wait for another dream to form.


I am in an Itallian resturant with my girlfriend. A kid comes up and steals some food from out plate and walks back to his parents. I remember I am dreaming and throw food at the kid and then run from table to table eating what ever food I want!


I am in some random appartment with a random youtuber I watch. Apparently he is going through really hard financial times and we are roommates now. I use telekinesis to help him bring his luggage in. We sit down on the luggage and talk before watching a move together.

I am in a warehouse. I can see through the high windows that it is night time and raining. The light of a single hanging lamp falls on my girlfriend and I. A bald super villain leans on a catwalk above and monologues. A mook enters and the super villain commands him to kill us. I become lucid and punch the mook in the face. The super villain points at us and yells. A lightning bolt crashes through the ceiling and nearly misses us. I fly into the super villain and crash both us through the corrugated metal of the wall into the rain. He floats now and I realize my mistake as he laughs and points at the sky. I look up and brace for the impact of another lightning bolt and wake up.