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Wish I had more time to type all this.
I've been having sleep paralysis more frequently now, so for the first time I didn't try to make myself wake up and I didn't just lie there during it. But, that's because I was just in a lucid dream that kind of propelled me from it.
(The order of these dreams kind of confuse me, so they might be a little off. I woke up in some way (into SP or into another dream) at least three times.

1st lucid: - realized I was lucid because I had the memory of literally just going to sleep. I made the place I was in (wooden, barrels, huge and cylinder-shaped with lots of bars across) expand upwards infinitely to test that I was lucid. Sometime later, thought I heard my alarm clock go off, heard a persistent beeping noise (and just realized now my alarm clock is a song anyway...I guess my conscious self didn't even realize that). I kind of woke up then, but then I looked around and realized...wow, i'm still in a dream. okay? This dream was in a worse setting. I could tell right off the bat that there weren't pleasant vibes. A guy with a gun, darkish room, don't recall other things rn...I was like oh shit what do I do? (throughout all these dreams this night everything seemed to move VERY quickly, it was so weird. it felt like it was moving much faster than earth events) so I tried to fly away in this quick-paced state, realized, oh whoop, can't do that, so I messed with the plot somehow, kinda hazy with details. I just thought to myself, okay "GOOD VIBES" all around and light started shining and I started gaining power/light? to somehow "defeat the bad guy." I don't really know.

SP: - Right when I did that is when my dream body seemed to rocket up into my physical body and enter an *intense* sleep paralysis mode. Time was still kind of moving quickly, although definitely slower than in the dream and in "normal" real-time, since SP always seems very real like you're wide awake. (maybe you are? idk, anyway)
So I didn't have thAT much time to think. I know once I entered SP and my body started shaking, my dream body propelled upwards out of my bed, toward the ceiling. Then the acceleration declined significantly and I had to "fight" with physical strength, it seemed, to keep moving up. I felt very uncomfortable during this state. I could feel my tongue pushing against the top of my retainer to try to "keep going up" or whatever happened. (During this i was aware that i didn't know exactly what to do, so i just went with that and didn't think much about it. it was pretty exciting!! which i guess is why the discomfort wasn't too bad) Then, I reached it! I went "high" enough so that I reached a dream!

2nd dream - fucking shit i wrote for 11 minutes, i only wanted to write for 5. fucking college essay. okay. -walked outside, bright sunny day green grass - thought to self "i need people" (i think, maybe not. it's hazy) - 2 tables - my age v. adults - torn between where to go/sit -black man glasses some type of atypical accent, leaning over speaking intensely to the table, saying, "ember was on a website, she was talking to a man with a (motions to his face) long beard... " -heard my name and that stuff, freaked the fuck out, woke up, was 4:20-ish (not long after i went to sleep), wrote down on phone

omg....wow i wrote some of it down already. could have just looked at that

okay, and initial thoughts after that were
woww so that's what it's like to LD from SP?? never thought it would happen that way! felt like my actual body left my bed! that was intense, etc. (although now that i've had more out of SP i know it doesn't always happen that way)

I was in a living room I don't recognize, like a mixture between several ones I've seen. It had a blue-grey carpet and two couches against 2 separate walls, and one side led to a kitchen. there was a fireplace and tv on one wall, and beside it was a hallway. my dad was on one couch on a laptop and little dinner table playing hearthstone, my sister was on another couch doing the same. the game was like hearthstone, but wasn't, it had different cards and was called caravan.

Another fragment I was laying in my bed and was worried if someone had broken in to my house, I kept my eyes closed and grabbed a fighting stick by my bed, but something in my mind knew that I couldn't get up to defend myself. (When I had this I thought I was awake, and I want to say I had sleep paralysis cuz I could barely move & this morning I kept waking up and having sleep paralysis, but when I found myself in the real world, only a sword was by my bed not the fighting stick that I thought was there)

#379 - DILD - 5:37AM (2 of 2)

I am looking in the back seat of the car for something and can't find it. I look up and see the car is rolling forward. I remember that I was in bed just a moment ago and know it's a dream. I recall my conversation with Wurlman during the podcast about having fun with cars so I go for it. I have other goals but I decide to go ahead and hop in the driver seat. The car has rolled off the street it was parked on and heading toward a wooden fence. I gun it and ram through. The feeling of invincibly surges through me. I am surprised by a second chain-link fence and crash through that one as well. It has a nice sound effect.

I come onto a four-lane highway going through a residential area. I follow the road going faster and faster. The car becomes slightly hard to handle during turns and I clip the side of a house. I don't care; this is all really fun. After a bit, I notice my view pulls back into a 3rd person perspective. I see a downtown area like on GTA5 and the dream looks very much like a video game. I notice I am not in my car anymore but some light blue SUV. I make the car go as faster (as I can imagine in this scenario) as I hit a sharp hill. It was only natural to take to the air at this point. I make the car fly up around the sky scrapers and I do a sharp turn to look around. I enjoy the view of the city, but then, I lose control and the car takes a fast dive into a busy street. There is some fiery explosions but it is mostly obscured by a large, thick cloud of opaque, black smoke.

Suddenly, my younger daughter opens the bedroom door whining about something. I assume she's had a bad dream. My wife asks her whats wrong and my daughter replies, "The ants are living with the five."
I lift my head up and say, "What?" I assume she's either had a bizarre dream and is still out of it or this is typical DC nonsense.
I become semi-lucid but I feel very confused about where I am and who's bed I am in. For some reason I think I am a child again sleeping next to my mom as my dad works the night-shift. Slowly, I make sense of everything and try to make a DJ entry. However, as I fumble around the feeling of heavy SP, I remember this isn't going to work in a dream. I notice now that my arms and head are vibrating, though I feel like I am awake and moving around. I am not really sure if this is even possible, so I relax and lay still, preparing for an OBE type exit. I spend a few seconds here and I begin to go deeper, but it's at this point that my wife sighs loudly, rolls over, and shakes me awake.

Notes: I've been having lucid dreams very frequently since eating shit on bike this summer and concussing myself. These almost always occur just after falling asleep and usually end with the sensation of choking, resulting in waking up. I also almost always drool during these events.

---

I appeared, quite suddenly, in a long metallic looking hallway glowing with a strange red tint. I perceived that this was representative of some distant war fire.

In reality, I had just sent my friend a Facebook message before suddenly falling asleep. Instead of focusing on the still empty hallway I thought about that for a minute, then turned my attention to my physical body, which felt numb. I could feel myself drooling. Realizing I was lucid dreaming, I decided to stop wasting my time focusing on external factors and focus on the dream.

My first thought was to dream about fighting off a horde of baddies. A bunch of grunts wearing steel helmets and lamellar armor appeared. An axe appeared in my hand. I started to fight.

At first, I couldn't move quickly. Something in my mind was holding me back from fully controlling the dream. I thought "no, move faster" repeatedly until eventually, my dream self could move full speed.

My brain continued to try and derail my lucidity. At one point I conjured some fat dude in office attire to grab me and pull me away from the action. After thinking, very purposefully, "fuck off" a few times, he did so. Almost immediately after that, the part of my brain that wants to confound me conjured my dad and tried to turn my lucid dream into a nightmare.

He was being attacked by several grunts, his hand reaching out to me from between a door crack. I knew my dream was going to have him killed. I threw my axe and stayed one grunt, the other disappeared. My dad lay bent over unnaturally over a couch, I could tell part of my brain was waiting for me to interpret his figure as dead.

"Nope, he's fine," I thought. Dad sprung back up, totally untouched.

At this point, I started to feel the choking sensation and knew I wasn't going to be able to remain asleep. I felt like I couldn't breathe. The dream swirled out of focus. I began to hear my physical body making a choking noise. I woke up and breathed. My pillow was covered in drool.

This was one of the most powerfully frightening and sleep episodes to date.

I'm floating in a sensory deprivation tank. I chose to do an hour and a half session since it had been a long day. This experience happened in the later half of the float.


I'm listening to music. It's sort of a slow, funky R&B beat with a man singing directly to me. He has a wonderful, deep voice that sent me deeper into my comfort zone. I realize quickly that this isn't the wake up music for my session, it is all in my head. I smile, or at least I think I do, and continue listening for a whole, beautiful minute. It's amazing what your mind can create in sensory deprivation.

The music fades and a twitch brings me back to present. "That was wonderful," I thought. "That's more than enough to write about."

Reflecting back on all this, I now know I experienced a false awakening, and a very convincing one at that. So, in my false awakening:

I'm going to flip onto my stomach for the last 30 seconds of my float (sometimes when I know I'm about to get out of the tank, I lay face down for as long as I can hold my breath. It feels good on my back). My extremities feel numb, but I manage to flip over. I soon realize I'm paralyzed. I have no control over my legs or arms and worst of all, my face is under water. I begin to panic. A hot rush of survival fear rushes me through my situation. My mouth is muffled by water and my arms can't find their way to bang on the wall for help. I'm going to die. I hold my breath as long as I can until I realize there is no use fighting it anymore. I have to inhale. I choose not to have my life flash before my eyes, since I knew inhaling the super saturated salt water would burn out any sentiment I could gather, so I just decided to go for it. A moment of courage. With all my strength, I take a mighty breath. Farewell.

Woosh. I'm back in my real body, frantically trying to catch my breath and calm my nerves. I knew exactly what had happened, having experienced false awakenings and sleep paralysis before. Never have both happened simultaneously. I was rattled, I still am.

I accepted death. Rather than inhaling the salt water, I took the most refreshing gasp I've ever tasted. It was beautifully humbling experience.

Ritual: Went to bed around 12:50am. Woke naturally at 3:32. Seemed a bit soon to WBTB but my motivation was good and I recalled traces of imagery so decided to go for it. Drank guayusa tea and read Brooks & Vogelsong. Before going to bed did hybrid of SSILD/counting/affirmation while sitting in chair. Technique: counted incrementally while breathing slowly and deeply, thinking the number on each in-breath, and on outbreath rotated between senses (thinking "look," "listen," or "feel") and then adding an affirmation, letting it fall randomly between "always lucid" or "always aware." Counted to fifty in this way, though I was impressed how easily it was to lose track of the number (this is good, it means the mind is losing its focus on waking life) even while sitting upright in a chair. Returned to bed at 4:52am and continued counting up to 70 while lying on my back, then ceased the practice and turned on my left side to sleep. I soon realized that I'd overdone the WBTB a bit and was excessively wakeful, but consoled myself that I should be able to return to sleep eventually given how few hours I had gotten so far, and my chances for WILDing should be improved by this touch of insomnia.

I had made sure to fix a very clear task in mind: I had read about the "fairy tale" challenges on DV and they seemed potentially interesting, but I realized I should make a clear plan. If I did successfully WILD I would find myself in my house, so how would I go about pursuing the task? My idea was this: grab a loaf of bread from the kitchen, exit the front door, turn right and walk up the hill, where in a previous WILD I had passed through a tunnel and found myself in a deep, dark forest. I could leave a trail of bread crumbs and see what happened from there.

WILD #1: It took a long time to go back to sleep. Eventually I felt sensations I interpreted as the onset of SP: tingling and distortion of the physical body, then a sense of weight on my chest so localized and specific that I wondered if the cat had actually jumped on me, but the weight quickly increased beyond that of any cat. I was encouraged because it seemed like this transition was happening very cleanly and consciously, and turned my attention to beginning to "move" the non-physical "body." I was careful not to wiggle my fingers or adjust my limbs lest I break SP, so I concentrated on unnatural movements like full-body rotation. I could begin to feel my body swinging in a horizontal rotation but didn't yet have enough traction to "get up" out of bed. Suddenly I felt a vertical "lift" as though my body had floated up several feet, and the next moment I was standing on my feet next to the bed. "And I'm up!" I thought to myself, pleased.

I noticed right away how dark it was, and despite the clarity of the transition, I did not feel well-integrated into the dream body. I deduced that this was probably a consequence of weak REM-state, given how little sleep I had gotten before the WBTB. I thought I'd better do some stabilization, so I touched some surfaces around me and then rubbed my hands together. This felt lifelike enough, so I became too easily complacent and didn't do anything further to integrate... a mistake, as it turned out. But I was pre-occupied with performing my task and didn't want to get distracted to the point where I never left the antechamber, as so often happens, so I rushed to get started.

I moved swiftly toward the kitchen and picked up the bag of bread from the counter as I passed through. It felt quite full, and I recalled that I had bought a new bag just the other day in waking life. Although the environment was still very muddy and vague, I could easily find my way through the house out of habit, so I headed straight for the front door. As I was crossing the threshold, I noticed that the bag of bread suddenly felt very light, as though there were only a few slices left. I hesitated for a moment, wondering if I should return to the kitchen, but didn't want to be distracted from my task, so I figured, "That's alright, I can always manifest more."

I walked out into the night, the outdoor environment no more distinct than the indoors had been, but I knew where I was going. I turned right and began to walk uphill, reaching into the bag to start dropping breadcrumbs. To encourage the right environment to appear, I started muttering under my breath: "Entering the world of Hansel & Gretel. Entering the world of Hansel & Gretel." But I only got off two recitations before I abruptly awoke. I realized my error at once: the dreamspace outside the antechamber is always less stable, and in my impatience to get started on the task, I hadn't integrated properly before exiting.

I lay for a long time in the position I woke in. Often I can seamlessly re-enter a WILD if I half-wake and don't move. But this was no half-waking: my mind was fully awoken and I soon realized that holding my position would be of no use, sleep had well and truly gone. I used the bathroom so it wouldn't pre-occupy me later and returned to bed, lying on my other side now to make a fresh start. By now the sun was rising so I got out my sleep mask from the drawer. I hate wearing it, but I could tell the light would be disruptive today. I considered checking the time but was trying not to stimulate wakefulness any further, so deliberately decided not to. It was evidently around sunrise, anyway, which occurred at 6:01am today according to Google. That was well over an hour after I had finished my WBTB and the dream can only have lasted a few minutes, so it must have taken me a very long time to fall asleep beforehand.

WILD #2: I lay on my right side and tried to keep a positive attitude: of course I can do it again! I re-WILD all the time! Not usually from such drastic awakening, admittedly, but I didn't let myself focus on the negatives. I wondered if I should rise and write a report, but reflected that there was little to report apart from the exact wording of the phrases I had thought or spoken, and these I had already scrawled in my notepad. The rest, what little there was, would be easy to remember. So I let go of those worries and focused attention on my breathing, remembering not to "try" to fall asleep but just let it happen. Eventually, it did.

Whereas the previous transition had been so vivid, this time I was surprised to find myself simply standing at the foot of the bed. I hadn't noticed the separation. But at least I remembered where I had gone wrong in the last attempt, and reminded myself: don't rush it. Get traction. Find something to do in the antechamber to better immerse yourself.

I noticed that this time the bedroom was full of books, stacked in messy piles and filling bags all over the floor. I figured that these would provide a good opportunity to more fully engage my senses in the dreamspace. So I selected a few and carried them with me as I moved out of the room. The kitchen floor was also covered with books, so many piles and stacks that was actually hard to pick a path through them. I was picking up volumes more or less at random until I noticed what was clearly an artist's sketchbook, a spiral-bound 9"x12" Strathmore, on top of one pile. "Oh, I should look at that!" I thought, and grabbed it. Finally I made my way to the living room, where I found a small oriental rug on the floor (about 2'x3', black pattern on a white background) and sat down on it to begin to peruse my books.

I chose the sketchbook first, because I was the most curious what I might find inside this one, and dream pictures tend to be easier to perceive and remember afterwards than dream text. The first picture I saw upon opening it was a portrait of what looked like a tribal chieftain, showing the upper half of his body and filling the whole page. He looked about middle-aged, with angular but weather-beaten features. The most distinctive element of the portrait, dominating most of the visual space, was the enormous headdress he was wearing. It wasn't made of feathers or any obvious RL material but seemed composed of abstract patterns with a Mayan styling to them. I took note of the colors. The headdress was all in shades of red, mostly an earthy brick shade. There were constrasting shades of muted green in the distinctive wide straps criss-crossing his body in various places. It didn't occur to me at the time, but the obvious deduction is that these straps were there to secure the enormous headdress.

After looking carefully at the first drawing, I turned the page. The next image I saw was more cartoon-like. The page was divided into four rectangular panels, each one the width of the page, and stacked vertically. There was a caption, though I don't remember if it was above or below the panels: "Doyle Oss Toss." How clever, I thought... until I realized that it didn't rhyme as well as I had thought at first, because I was aware from the start that "Oss" meant "Owl" but soon realized that the RL word had been distorted unrecognizably to fit the rhyme. My dream texts often demonstrate this tendency to favor rhyme and alliteration over comprehensible meaning.

The four panels showed the Doyle Owl being punted by a large shaggy grey wolf. The Owl was on the left, the wolf on the right, and the setting suggested the outdoors but was very plain, with little in the background to distract the eye. The sky behind them was dark. The first panel showed the Owl already in mid-air, with the wolf's head lowered, evidently having just head-butted it. The second panel showed the Owl about halfway down, in the act of falling, the wolf's head still lowered. The third panel showed the Owl having come to rest again on the ground, the wolf's position unchanged. The last panel showed the Owl lying on the ground where it had fallen, and now the wolf had lowered its haunches into a crouch and lifted its head toward the sky, howling in what I interpreted as triumph.

I think I might have spied one more drawing but I don't remember it, because around this time I woke up. In a false awakening. Which I didn't recognize. Responsibly, I immediately began to record the dream on my notepad, first sketching out the four-panel cartoon I have just described. After completing that, I started blocking out the tribal chieftain, and made some notes about the colors. I think I wrote about the green straps first, and when I started trying to describe the particular shades of red in the headdress, the dream began to evolve, and I thought I remembered dreaming that I was a sultan who had a vizier who wore a turban constructed of red cloth in various textures and shades, including a dark red kerchief. It's possible that this image relates to a drawing from the original sketchbook that I've forgotten, because as I was jotting down notes about color of his headgear a new visual appeared, where I could see the vizier from above and behind, with a clear vantage on the dark red kerchief, and I was surprised because I knew that I had not previously seen him from that perspective.

Before the FA could evolve any more, I woke up for real and recognized that I had just been writing my dream report in another dream, and I'd better get up and do it properly. In this case I didn't mind the delay because writing it down in the FA had helped cement the details in memory (this is not always the case). So I started jotting down my notes on the notepad next to my bed... only to realize soon after I'd started that even though I was more or less awake now, I still wasn't actually doing it, I was still just experiencing a kind of half-dreamed enactment of writing, and I should stop tricking myself and physically get out of bed so I could be sure I was doing it properly. So I got up and hastily sketched out the four-panel again—noticing with amusement how much crappier it looked in RL than in the more elegantly sketched version from my initial FA. I noted the time of rising as 6:56am, and recorded the rest of the dream on my laptop.

I find myself semi-conscious and decide to attempt a FILD. Almost immediately I hear the crackling noise from my last SP experience. The crackling intensifies as I move my fingers faster, and I decide to attempt an OBE. This fails and I decide to try to visualize a new dream instead. However, this too fails and I find myself awake. In my childhood bedroom. My friend T is trapped in a glass box on the floor and is screaming and beating on the side.

I realize the FILD worked after all, but I'm still scared. I leap out of the bed, screaming "I'm having a lucid dream!" I trip over something and find myself in the void.

I decide to try a trick I picked up from CanisLucidus's dream journals and imagine swinging a sword around in one arm. I begin to hear shouts and clashing steel and wonder if I'm going to end up in the Coliseum. I'm not sure if I'm ready for something like that, and soon I end up right back in the hallway outside my childhood bedroom.

I realize I'd better stabilize and start looking at my hands. I feel stability slipping away, and since my last three stabilization attempts lead to early awakenings, I decide to just skip it and go for my lucid goal: eating a Krispy Kreme burger and drinking an IPA.

I fly (perhaps literally) down the stairs, briefly marveling at their similarity to the real ones. I decide the burger won't be in the fridge, since I don't want to microwave it. Rather, I think to myself, "that's right, my parents said they'd leave it for me on the piano bench." I go into the living room, and sure enough, there's a greasy white bag with "Krispy Kreme" written on it. I pick it up and it feels pleasantly warm.

I consider taking a bite right there, but I want that beer to wash it down. I go into the kitchen, expecting it to be in the fridge. But there's no beer there. I try to make my expectation more specific: "OK, there's a Flying Dog IPA right in the ice tray in the freezer..." I open the freezer door, and the beer is right where I thought it would be. I take it out and wake up.

Not trying to stabilize seemed to help prolong the dream here, although I got the impression that the dream wasn't particularly vivid. I wonder if I'm doing my stabilizations wrong: perhaps focusing too intently? Anybody have any ideas about what to do differently?

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

A couple more stabilization fails, but my first SP!




I'm on my way to meet my friend A when I pause across the street from a tall house with beautiful chamber music coming from an open window. Suddenly the scene darkens and shadows begin to roll down the vines of ivy along the wall. I start getting scared until I realize it's only dark because I'm wearing my sunglasses.

I take them off but then it gets dark again, and I discover I'm squeezing my eyes shut and can't open them. I recognize that as a dreamsign, and start to do the finger push RC. But even before I start, I feel this floaty sensation and I realize I'm dreaming.

I think this may send me into the void or SP, but the next thing I remember is being in a brightly lit room with my girlfriend. We're talking about something, when again I feel that happy, floaty sensation and realize I'm dreaming.

I decide to phase through the window and go exploring. I tell my girlfriend, "I love you, but I'm having a lucid dream and I really want to go out there." She seems happy for me.

Then things start to get a little blurry and I remember I have to stabilize. I decide to try NyxCC's advice and take a bite of a chair. But part of me doesn't believe it's going to work, and I close my eyes as I bend down. When my jaws close, there's nothing between them.

Then I'm briefly in the void, and I try to spin. I end up lying in my bed, hearing incredibly loud electric crackling noises. I recall having heard these before, perhaps earlier in the night, and conclude I'm experiencing SP. I attempt an OBE exit by trying to will my dream body to move. The crackling intensifies greatly and I feel like I almost escape my body, but it doesn't quite work and the crackling fades.

I decide to relax for a little bit before I wake myself up. The crackling begins to transform into creepy music and I start thinking of SP horror stories and becoming a little frightened. But I remember that SP is completely harmless and will only get nasty if I let myself get scared, so I calm down.

Then, my IWL girlfriend moves in bed and I wake up for real.



Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

07.16.2014

The Other Realm (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

After a nonsensical soccer fiasco in the back yard of my childhood home, I spontaneously become lucid. My task of visiting Hell is not far from my mind.

I walk over to one of the coaches, a tall man who looks like an older version of The Rock. "Can you help me with something?" I ask politely. I find it much more enjoyable to get DCs to do all my work when possible rather than exerting direct control.

"Sure," he replies. "What do you need.?"

"I'm looking for a girl with purple hair who goes by 'Dreamer.' Can you take me to her?"

This DC is of the non-helpful sort, apparently. "I have no idea who that is," he tells me. Out of nowhere, he holds up a pie as if he's about to throw it at me.

"Please don't throw that in my face!" I cry out, blocking the pie with my hand. As a result, I end up with a fist-full of the filling.

Forgetting the coach, I decide to just find Dreamer the same way I did last time. As I walk across the street, I lick the pie from my hand. It is delicious; a kind of cream cheese pie with chocolate chips. "Hey, eating junk food was one of the tasks of the month!" I exclaim. I'm quite amused that I completed this task before I even consciously remembered it.

Before reaching my neighbor's house, I notice duffle bags and suitcases sitting out on the front porch. Dreamer must be really eager to come with me on an extended trip to Hell, I think to myself jokingly. When I get closer, however, I'm confused to find that the porch and the front door are all that's left of the house. Everything else lies in rubble at my feet. I knock on the door half-heartedly anyway. Nothing happens.

An old man appears. "Dreamer has already crossed to the Other World," he tells me rather cryptically. He points in the direction of my house.

I follow the old man back across the street, where he shows me a charred area of burned grass.

"So... I just touch this and it'll take me to Hell?" I guess. The old man nods.

I touch the ashes and get flashes of a gray Silent Hill type area. Then I'm pulled from the dream into sleep paralysis.

I'm now lying trapped in SP. I'd turn this into a DEILD, but I'm distracted. There is a woman's voice reciting her life story in poem form, accompanied by music. Everything she says is clear and makes perfect sense. I'm trying to lock at least a few lines of her words into memory so I can write it later, but I end up forgetting all of it.

07.16.2014

Minecraft (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

While driving--- and doing a terrible job of it--- I spontaneously become lucid once again. I ditch the car, opting to walk.

I remember something I'd read recently about extending dream time by engaging all five senses. I want to try this out, but I make the mistake of starting with vision. The first thing I notice is that the world looks a little blocky. Because my attention is fixed on the blockiness, that particular quality increases dramatically until the whole world looks like a game of Minecraft. This annoys me immensely.

I decide to start over. I close my eys, focusing on the feeling of my feet hitting the ground as I walk. Closing my eyes proves to be a terrible idea. Predictably, this forces me yet again into sleep paralysis.

Now lying trapped in my bed, I believe I hear my aunt outside my door yelling for me to wake up. Is she really there or am I hallucinating? I manage to shake my foot enough to exit SP--- now awake, my aunt is no longer talking.

I keep still and am pulled right back into SP. My aunt starts talking again. She's rambling on about things that seemed to have happened in the past with her daughter, speaking as if I AM her daughter. I am again amazed by my mind's ability to come up with all of this dialogue.

07.13.2014

Of Sleep Paralysis, Molestation, and Demons (SP)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This is a jumbled mess in my mind, but I'll try to draw some sense out of it. I normally consider my SP episodes lucid, but I was so confused that I thought all of this was actually happening because of demons instead of SP.

After some kind of parade involving Sam and Dean Winchester, I find myself in sleep paralysis, entirely unable to move. I don't know where I am, but I'm not in bed. There is a sharp pain in my hips as if someone is pushing my legs up towards my chest--- as I am not flexible at all, this is quite painful. Despite the pain, I am inexplicably somewhat aroused. I keep expecting something sexual to happen, but it doesn't.

I open my eyes when I feel someone grab my wrist forcefully. It is my grandfather, who's a preacher, performing an exorcism over me while shaking a bible. I notice that no one is actually moving my legs--- they are flailing around on their own accord. I am quite calm and not freaked out at all. Simply confused.

I manage to break out of whatever spell I'm in and pull away from him. He explains that a demon is after me, but I don't listen. I think that I'm late for a class and have to go get ready.

I end up at my friend Jake's house where I ask to take a shower. For some reason they have this large bathhouse outside that has locker-room style showers. There are other people in here at first, but after I start my shower everyone else leaves. I had been told by my grandfather not to enter here, because this is "where the Fallen Angel landed when he fell."

In the midst of my shower, I somehow end up flat on my back as the water splashes down on my face. I can't get up, or even move. My vision is confused because I'm seeing the dream shower as well as flashes from my actual bedroom (so I assume my eyes were at least partially open during this time). I hear an old-fashioned radio announcer ardently reading some apocalyptic sounding text, though I can make no sense of what he's saying. There is a high pitched screeching in my head.

Now starting to get a little freaked out, I use my normal foot-shaking technique to wake myself up.

I wake up, but don't move and instantly go back into it. I'm now thinking of turning this into a WILD, but I still think I'm lying down in the shower and I'm really concerned about either the demon coming back or someone wondering why I'm just lying here, so I wake myself up again.

By the time I realize I'm not really in the shower, I'm too awake to get back into SP.

Two more lucids to report! One really short one in which I accomplished nothing, and the WILD from last night that was a failure at my own task, but may at least count toward the TotM.

I didn't post my brief failed attempt yesterday, so...

7/10/14

07.10.2014

Onward to Fail (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm talking to my parents, when I reach up to feel my hair and notice that its longer than it should be. It seems to be as long as it was before I cut it short, which means it's well past my shoulders. How could it possibly have gotten so long again?

It couldn't have. This only happens when I'm dreaming, I remind myself. I instantly recall the task that I've already failed at once. I'm supposed to find Dreamer and then find an elevator to Hell. I walk off, starting to call for her, but quickly feel myself losing the dream.

I try to stabilize it... No luck.

I'm pulled into a false awakening.

My problem seems to be that I'm too worried about stabilization, which causes me to think too much of my physical body. Since my attention is more on worrying about waking up, I lose the scene.

7/11/14

07.11.2014

Critter (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

There are three black widow spiders in front of me, having a conversation. They are neutral to my presence. They also seem to be males, which means they're not venomous. Still, I'm not too keen on being bitten, so I am doing my best to get what I need without coming into contact with them.

I reach around their webs, only to be bitten by a different kind of bug. At first I think it's one of the spiders. I jerk my hand back and the bug comes with me. It's this weird blobby thing; I can't really call it an insect because it doesn't have six legs--- it only has four. Still, it's insect-like. It is white and globular; each part of its body looks squishy and balloon-like except for its legs, which are serrated like a grasshopper's. Its body is clearly intended to try to camouflage it as a rabbit. The bug's hind end is equip with blobby extensions made to look like rabbit ears. It's real, insectoid head protrudes from its back. (Although since it seems more like the bug walks upside down and backwards, like a human trying to do a crab walk, I suppose the head is actually protruding from the creature's stomach). It is the size of a small baby rabbit.

((This is the best I could sketch it with my non-existent art skills.))




I stare in awe at the strange creature for a while before I learn it can talk. This surprises me, despite the fact I found talking spiders perfectly normal. His name is Jack and he becomes my friend.

07.11.2014

Journey Toward Hell (WILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm lying in bed awake with my eyes closed when I feel a slight vibrating feeling that means I'm about to enter sleep. It would be great if I can turn this into a WILD since I wasn't even aiming for that. The vibrations grow stronger, and by the second wave I am fully within sleep paralysis. I figure I can just get up and start the dream. I'm wrong. I open my eyes, but I seem to have opened my physical eyes instead of my dream ones (something that I'm able to do while trapped in SP). When I do, the vibrations feel like they're tearing my head apart. I quickly shut my eyes again.

Surely if I just lie here, it'll HAVE to turn into a dream. I wait, but nothing happens except for more uncomfortable vibrations. I try to move, hoping I can just get up and walk into a dream. I'm completely unable to budge a single muscle, phantom or otherwise. Normally I can imaging rolling out of the bed to get the dream going. This doesn't work either. Maybe WILD isn't the best technique for someone who suffers from chronic sleep paralysis anyway.

Finally, I'm able to lift my dream arm. I grasp around blindly, reaching for something that I can use to pull myself up out of my body. I reach a dresser and finally manage to succeed in untangling myself from the physical world.

I'm standing in my bedroom just in front of the door. I do a quick RC just for good measure, but it's not necessary. I'm already lucid.

I run out the bedroom door, ending up in my childhood home. No way am I going to fail at my task this time! I do my best not to think of the dream ending as I exit my house. It's night time and pitch black outside, unlike in real life where the sun has just barely risen. I sprint across the street toward my neighbor's house. I call out for Dreamer, banging on the door.

The door swings open and a sleepy looking purple-haired girl stands there staring out at me. Finally! Some hint of success! "I found you!" I exclaim in delight. "Now we've got to find an elevator and make it down to Hell!"

I grab her hand and pull her out of the house, trying to convey the necessity for speed. We start to run down the road together, full throttle. "I know where an elevator is," she tells me, seeming to understand what's going on now after her brief confusion. "Follow me!"

As we run down the street, she asks me why I'm asleep at such a strange time. At first I don't understand; then I remember that she lives in Australia. "Oh, right. There's a huge time difference between where you are and where I am," I tell her. "Last time I checked, it was 7:00 in the morning here. That seems like a while ago and my alarm is supposed to go off at 7:30, so we really need to hurry!"

She leads me to a section of the street that never fails to have some kind of evil within my dreams. I hope this time will be different; I don't need any distractions. Dreamer veers to the right toward a farm that used to have donkeys irl. We run through the dark field toward an outhouse-shaped building. Suddenly, an evil looking farmer in a tractor begins riding toward us. I feel a twinge of fear at his appearance, but I ignore it.

We run into the "outhouse" which turns out to be far bigger on the inside than on the outside. I expect there to be an elevator in here. Instead, it's filled with hay and dirt. Dreamer and I climb up and hang from the ceiling like ninja's hoping to hide from the evil farmer. He'll never look up here, I tell myself.

He does. He looks up and sees us as soon as he walks into the building. An evil grin spreads across his face. Once spotted, Dreamer and I drop from the ceiling to face him. The man wordlessly turns and pulls a lever by the door. The floor drops away beneath us--- we're falling into a pit which most likely leads to Hell.

Dreamer gives me a helpful smile. "Does this count as an elevator?" she asks.

I don't think it does. I summon a platform beneath us. It's one of those circular platform elevators that I've only ever seen in video games. There's a vague rumbling noise as the elevator slowly descends deeper and deeper into the ground. It's dark, and there's not much scenery, so I start to become concerned with losing the dream.

"Can't this thing move any faster?" I complain. I run from wall to wall, trying to keep focused on the minimal imagery. It's no use. The dream fades and I have a false awakening.

Well, it's a good start.

07.07.2014

As The Venom Flows Through (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Cheyenne is holding an incredibly beautiful snake, which has coiled itself around her body and is reaching out to regard me at eye level. I've never seen a snake quite like this, but I can tell from its eyes that it is venomous. "Be careful not to let it bite you," I tell Cheyenne. For now, it seems more focused on biting me. I am just within the line of danger, but I manage to dodge its strikes. I decide its best to step back.

When I do, the snake loses its one distraction and notices the warm, living body that it is coiled around. It turns around slowly and deliberately to glare at Cheyenne, before latching on to her neck.

Now I'm practically dragging her through the woods, screaming for help as the venom takes hold of my poor friend. First, she simply begins to act a little loopy. But soon her veins are bulging black from her skin while her lips turn a deathly shade of blue. A green liquid leaks from her temples, running down her face.

I barely get her to help in time to rescue her.

This is hugely symbolic of a situation that occured IRL.

07.07.2014

Onward To Hell (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

College is in session once more, and I'm entering into the cafeteria for the first time since summer break. When I get to the place where I'm supposed to scan my card, I struggle to remove it from my new wallet. I apologize to the cashier for the delay. He hands me some kind of scholarship form from a different college and says I must fill it out before I can eat.

This form is impossible! The directions the man gives me make absolutely no sense, and the sections I'm supposed to fill out keep disappearing and changing order. Plus, some of the answers I've already written are nonsensical when I go back over them. It slowly dawns on me that I have to be dreaming.

"Screw this!" I yell, slamming my pen down before the now bewildered man. I storm off, phasing effortlessly through the glass door and entering a neighborhood similar to my grandmother's.

I suddenly recall my task of going to Hell to find out what the Devil wants with my high school ring.

It is a rather cloudy day; the sky is dark with a reddish, rusty tint. I smile to myself. "What a perfect day to visit Hell," I chuckle.

I remember that first I must summon Dreamer, so I call for her a few times. When that doesn't work, I make the decision that she's going to be in one of the nearby houses. I walk towards one, clapping and rubbing my hands together as I walk because the dream has taken on a surreal, old movie quality and I keep nearly losing my vision altogether.

When I ascend the steps, I lose the dream completely and am pulled into the black void of sleep paralysis.

"No biggy," I think, "I'll just turn this into a DEILD."

I succeed in the dream part, but lose the 'ILD' in the belief that I've actually woken up. I check the time. 8:44. That's well after my alarm should have gone off! I'm going to be late to work!

I run off to get ready, only to wake up for real when my alarm goes off at its normal time.

Interestingly, after I've actually gotten going and mostly ready, I check the time at exactly 8:44. For real this time.

I'm trying to get into dream yoga. It's hard for me to stay focused that long, but I'm making progress if my recall from last night has anything to say about it.

07.05.2014

Unjustified Anger (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

After helping my co-worker's elderly grandfather move some heavy furniture, then taking an ill-advised trip to the airport on a whim, I somehow manage to make it to work half an hour early. "Well, I guess I'm early today," I say with surprise as I walk in the front door.

Our receptionist, Anita, glares at me. "I guess you are," she mutters, scribbling angrily on a sticky note. I'm surprised by her reaction.

"Wait, don't be mad. If you don't want me here early, I could just wait outside until I'm supposed to be here..."

She glowers at me again. "I'm not mad."

"Um, really? I think you are. You keep scowling at me..."

"Okay, you're right. I AM mad."

I spend the rest of the dream thinking up ways to get back on her good side.

07.05.2014

Footsteps (SP)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

((I consider my SP episodes to be lucid, as long as I realize I'm in SP, because it's somehow a state of dreaming while I'm caught between being asleep and awake. I can see the real world if I open my eyes, but it is intermingled with hallucinations--- like a dual layer of reality.))

I wake up in SP for the second night in a row. Weird how it acts up more when I'm focusing on LDing. I hear my bedroom door open and footsteps on the carpet leading towards my bed. Someone is in here. Then, my mom's voice: "Lola?"

Oh no. My mom and stepdad are home early. WHY are they here? I left a huge mess that I intended to clean up before they returned. Now they'll think I'm a slob.

Wanting to explain myself and question their early arrival, I struggle to move. As usual, only my foot seems operable. I shake it back and forth as quickly as I can manage, but I'm still having problems coming out of it. I struggle to keep my eyes open, which usually helps. I can see the wall and the window whenever I manage to force my eyes open. I feel my mom standing over my bed staring at me. She's probably wondering why I'm shaking my foot like this.

Finally, the motion is enough to jar me awake. I realize that I'm here alone. My mom was never in the room--- once again, just a hallucination.

07.05.2014

Questionable Content (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Much of this is lost, but it was a pretty extensive dream. Mostly I remember the house of a man I had some kind of conflict with. There are several instances where the image of the house is the prominent focus of the dream. The man seems to be Ned Flanders from the Simpsons. Apparently he was never actually a Christian, but was secretly doing neo-Pagan rituals in his house and cursing the Simpsons. This amuses me greatly. However, he seems to be depressed because of something to do with his wife. She died, perhaps. I also believe he may have blamed me for whatever it was. At some point, this results in an epic battle in the street against his mecha form.

07.05.2014

DJ Academy (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm in a place that could be straight out of an anime. A girl is leading me and a small group of other girls around a huge radio company, explaining that we're all going to be DJs for these reality talk shows. Everyone here has their own show, in many different genres. "You'll learn what kind of DJ you are pretty quickly," our guide tells us. I'm a little confused as to how I got here. When she concludes the tour, our guide asks if we have any questions.

I raise my hand. "What exactly is this place?" I ask. I realize how stupid this sounds when she gives me a 'were-you-even-listening-to-a-word-I-just-said' glare. I am now somewhat lucid, though at a very low level. "I mean, I KNOW this is a radio station, but I don't know how I got here. And um, I think I missed the first part of the tour? Is this like a DJ academy?"

She explains that no, it is not. We are to start our own specific style of show with our individual skill sets, which we'll learn as we go.

((Starting from this point, I awake and re-enter the dream many times due to irritating dogs barking right outside my window.))

I'm exploring the station and checking out the various different studios and DJs. Everyone here is their own special brand of crazy, I realize. I'm in the studio of a very pale girl with white hair and red eyes. She's dressed in Lolita style clothing and seems just like an anime character. She talks like a little kid, though she's probably my age. The directer (our tour guide from earlier), is standing in the doorway observing. I suddenly notice a familiar container on the Lolita's book stand--- my medicine! "Hey, these are mine!" I snatch up the pills before she can take them. "How did you get these?"

She tries to deny stealing them, saying their hers, but the director cuts in. "What have I told you about taking other people's things, [girl's name]?"

((Awake. Re-enter.))

I am participating as a guest in one of the DJ's studios. There is a large swimming pool with rows of intertubes. Some of the tubes have people in them. Playing against another newbie, I have to throw bean bags and hit the people. I think it's going to be like Bingo or Tic-Tac-Toe, but it turns out to be more like shuffleboard with no clear rules. The people in the intertubes are swimming around, making it even harder. I lose horribly, and the girls sitting by the pool watching make fun of me.

((Awake. Re-enter.))

This part is rather vague. Something about a dude with rabbit ears who needs my help getting out of a fix with a demon (who happens to be one of the DJs).

((Awake. Re-enter.))

The rabbit-eared guy walks out the door of the demon's studio, leaving me to deal with the angry DJ. I'm very slightly lucid--- I "remember" having this dream before. I know that the demon is going to spew sludge on me, so I guard my face with my hat. The rest of me gets covered in slimy demon puke. He's supposed to do this four times, according to my "memory" of the supposed previous dream that never actually happened. On the third time, the feeling of the cold slime on the back of my neck jars me awake.

07.04.2014

Quite the Wolf Problem (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I am taking a stroll down the road late at night. As I pass the cemetary, I encounter a girl around fourteen years old who warns me that she's out hunting werewolves with her grandfather. She is clutching a vicious looking shotgun in a manner that suggests she's well accustomed to using it. While I'm talking to her, we hear a ruckus nearby. A werewolf is attacking her grandfather!

Suddenly lucid, I remember that I, too, am a werewolf. Fortunately I happen to possess much greater self control than this brute, who is out of his wits with the change. I morph into my werewolf form and leap onto the other wolf, tearing at his throat with my teeth. I can see how it could be tempting to go on a murderous rampage while in wolf form--- letting out my inner beast feels amazing! Still, I hope that the girl realizes that I'm helping, that I'm protecting her from this other wolf. I'm not too keen on being shot.

Suddenly, I'm pulled from the dream into sleep paralysis as I feel someone shaking me awake. It seems to be my mother; I hear her voice telling me to wake up. I try to explain that I'm in sleep paralyis, but it just comes out as a mumble. I try to roll over, but cannot move. My mom continues to shake me, telling me to wake up.

By this point I'm a bit irritated. I manage to get control of my foot and shake it back and forth enough to jar me awake. (This has proved the ONLY way I can force myself out of SP. I don't know why I'm able to move my foot; it's literally the only real part of my body I'm ever able to move.) Once awake, I realize that my mom isn't even here. I'm house sitting for her while she's in Florida.

07.04.2014

George and the Rabbit (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I seem to be a well-known scholar, and I'm staying in George Takei's house for my current research, as he lives in a convenient location.

I step out the front door to begin my day. Beside the step is a white rabbit wearing glasses. Insteac of fur, the rabbit has wool like a sheep. It seems happy to let me pet it, closing its eyes in content.

George Takei is doing dishes behind me. I try to get his attention to show him the rabbit, but he does not want to be disturbed.

07.04.2014

The Tornado Approaches (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

We are out in the open country by a little house. My grandmother, who suffers from alzheimer's, wishes to drive to the store. We are desperately trying to talk her out of it, but she will not listen.

As we're arguing, the sky goes dark. A storm is nearby. I can hear the sounds of a tornado quickly approaching from behind me. Not even looking back, I lead everyone to a manhole by the house that appears to lead to the sewer. Not a proper storm shelter, but it should serve the purpose all the same. We hurry down the ladder before the tornado can reach us.

I entered a lucid dream using the WBTB method. I left my body after the sleep paralysis, and gazed outside my bedroom window. I could see red roses jutting out from my neighbours house and wild yellow flowers. They were very vibrant and sort of swishy looking like someone had painted them. I heard a voice tell me "this is all yours. This is your painting." Which exhilarated me way too much, and the dream started to fade. I started to spin. As my vision faded to white I imagined a grey fountain and let my dreaming mind fill in the rest. I was planted in a hell-ish looking place. The ground was red and looked like lava, the fountain completely empty and covered in ancient scribblings of some forgotten language. It was in the middle of the lava room. An old man walked towards me dressed in tattered brown clothes with a hood on. I told him, "Take me to meet your friends!" He took my hand. As we started to fly together, the dream scene melted into a deep forest. We flew past blurry trees (due to the insanely fast flying this guy was doing) and we ened up standing in front of a ginormous tree in a small clearing. There was a very long ladder leading up to a door (the entrance of the tree) The forest was illuminated by glowing blue light coming from absolutely no where, and it was absolutely breath taking! The tree was so saturated! A dark oreo brown with rich florescent blue leaves sprouting from the top, enough so that there was no sky to be seen. We entered the tree. The room was small width wise, but went on for ages horizontally. One wall was covered completely in doors, all set in top of each other going up the wall. Like you had to fly up to each door. There were roughly 6 people in there, a lot for a room so small, but it felt very cozy and warm. The inside bark walls were very smooth and almost shiny, and much lighter than the outside bark. It was a glowing golden color with lines of light brown streaking it. There were bunk beds on the floor and some jutting out from the walls, and book cases sunken into the walls. I told the man who brought me there "thank you for showing me this place" he said nothing back and disappeared through one of the doors. I sat down on one of the bunk beds with a kid in glasses, a button up white shirt and black dress pants. I asked him "do you know you are in my dream?" He gave me a weird look and replied, "of course" I then asked him "are you okay with it?" He looked confused. He said "I need to get back" and then the dream suddenly faded, I tried to spin but I ened up waking up! Wrote down every detail I could remeber in my dream journal, and kept the images alive throughout my day. I wonder if the guy with the glasses in my dream was me, saying I needed to wake up "get back". I definitely overslept! Got 10 hours last night, top notch.