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Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #185: Kaleidoscope

It’s morning time and I’m preparing to give my 2-year-old son “R” a shower. This strikes me as strange because R usually takes baths and Wife’s the one who usually bathes him. I dimly recall my intent to have a lucid dream and after thinking for a moment, accept that I’m having one right now.

The layout of the room’s exactly like waking life (so far as I can tell) and there’s a window high on the wall near the shower. I hop up to it, plant my hands on the sill, and phase my head and shoulders through to the outside. It’s morning, just after dawn, and the sky glows reddish-orange.

As I’m preparing to fly off, R says, “Daddy, I want to go with you but I don’t know how to do that.” (I take this to mean that he doesn’t know how to phase.)

“That’s okay, buddy,” I respond. “This is a dream.”

For some reason I have a surge of anxiety that the dream won’t stay stable and of course my vision gets a little crazy. I leap the rest of the way through the glass and fly for just a moment before I freeze in mid-air. Seconds later, my vision goes black and I’m in the void.

I rub my hands together for a moment and then decide to change scenes by plummeting downward to the ground that I imagine is still outside. I go rocketing downward but as I hit what would be the ground, there’s a “whomp!” sound and a puff of air as I pass right through. I continue accelerating faster and faster until I crash into…

...my bed. I’m lying on my stomach, my head turned to the left. My eyes are closed and it completely feels like I’m awake, but I’m suspicious, so I try to see through my eyelids. This works and after a few seconds I’m looking out at my bedroom. The center portion of my vision swirls and blends together like a kaleidoscope. I wonder if the effect will change if I open my eyes, but I decide not to mess with anything just now.

I will myself to roll out of my body and transition into an OBE, but I can’t seem to make it happen. The kaleidoscope vision effect continues for a while until the dream eventually fades out.

was making a protein shake with grandma and i just threw lik french toast in with spinach and banana and it was like the grossest shakeever, my commendedme on m cooking skills even thoghi sucked. also it was like a snowy place and there were these 2 pandits who were diong illegal stuff so i track em down in the snow at thei mansion and took em to jail

later the next day i dreampt that i was watching porn infront of a computer screen and bella kept asking me if i ad fucked her yet. i said no and she said she was waiting infront of a crowd of a million peoppl

A while ago I was really desperate to learn how to lucid dream. But last night I experienced a false awakening.

I awoke in my bed and was worried about satan or something like that and was frantic
I realized at some point that my vision was blurry and choppy
I would look at my dresser and look away and the dresser was still in my vision
My first thought was that I was tripping or sick
I then got suspicious and tried my bedside lamp
No dice
I looked at my alarm clock
It only had a blinking 9 in the third place
I knew i was lucid then
I tried to contain my excitement as I went downstairs
My mom was coming up the stairs with a laundry basket
I was suddenly aware that I was naked
She said 'hi'
In a high pitched voice i said hi for some reason
I went downstairs and tried the kitchen lights
One bulb turned on and i got bummed
I thought i was dreaming
Then i saw the holograph of my mom walking my dog up our driveway through the kitchen wall
I ran upstairs to my sister's room ( she is in college so its empty)
There i met with Roger from American Dad but 3D
I asked if he could help me
He then kept repeating 'of course I can help you'
Then i was transported to a place with only him and a trippy orange backdrop and he was yelling "OF COURSE I CAN HELP YOU"
This was too much for me and i awoke

Will i be more likely to have lucid dreams after this?

1. [Non-Lucid]
Me and my Mum appear to be walking through a park, we walk past a big light grey fountain to our right, I point out the pitchers filled with big red grapes that are on the fountain and said "I've seen that before somewhere" in which Mum replied "Yea I saw it when I was ill that time", I notice some tables further along the path we are walking along (the tables I think have yellow and red cloth on top), there are people sat at them, there is a waiter dressed in white.

Possible dream signs:
Mum

I had been working on a large series of dream meanings (relevant only to my own continuously paranormal path in life and in addition to my own generic “dictionary” series on a couple sites) as well as working on a set of previously unposted dreams with music in them.

During this time, I uncovered yet another series of layers regarding my path in life and how everything I had seen since birth being seemingly specifically designed for me in very complex “in joke” ways to the point of obviously being beyond “impossible” for people who do not even believe in anything “unusual” in the first place - something I find astounding to this day, but I roll with it with pleasure - regardless of how incredibly redundant and “silly” it all is. After all, this has been validated time and time again much to the dismay of certain people who would rather not even think about it or what it could mean, thousands of times over in subtle and intricate layers - over fifty years or so.

At any rate, my wife just happened to do a search on “96 Tears” by the oh-so-hilarious over-the-top “hint” of “Question Mark and the Mysterians” (which I even laughed at the universe for “doing for me” when I was very young). Even regarding then, I think the “96” in some cases is Yin and Yang moving away from each other (contrary to the “69” Yin Yang representation), as the song is negative in that meaning, including the lines “…and I might wave, come up here, but I don`t see you waving now” (reference to the back-to-back mirrored twos of Yin and Yang as waves moving apart or conflict with other influences as waves, as opposed to the face to face twos as the heart on the plane which is Yin and Yang in harmony). Other lines; “Too many teardrops for one heart to be crying, too many teardrops for one heart to carry on; you`re way on top now since you left me” and a few subtle references to the “two hemispheres” (American and Australian “crowns” or Crowned Lovers of Destiny/Crown of Destiny or “The Lover Crowned”). Additionally, because of its shape, a teardrop can also represent either Yin or Yang in the “unlinked” (suggesting crying out of loneliness) swirling form.

At any rate, additionally, my wife found something amusing recently - from 1996 - a couple years after we had already married. It is an actual book called “96 Tears” - apparently some sort of amusing detective novel (yet again with the “mystery”). On the very first page is the line “She looked like Zsa Zsa Gabor…”. My wife and I have continuously been astounded by the Universe’s sense of humor. The book is written by Doug J. Swanson (“Swan son” - another play on Yin and Yang and the number two represented by a swan or number 22 as two swans, which are “mirrored” face to face in some wedding decorations as the heart shape). Zsa Zsa also represents number 22 with the two Zs (looking like a two, but when mirrored - looking like the bottom half of the heart on the plane - identified as the Australian Yin - Corona Australis/Virgo/6 and so on), which are also in my wife’s non-anglicized first name - as well as the connection to the other Gabor that demonstrated more “funny business” with the two animated cat movies (“Gay Purr-ee” to the later “The Aristocats” - this being only because I could not tell them apart when younger, so the “humor” was even more complex than originally thought - that is a long story I have already written just a little on.)

Meanwhile, an additional note on “The Naughty Lady of Shady Lane”, which has several not-so-subtle clues for me. First heard when my wife was nine days old (as they say “nine days old” at the end of the song, and heard nine days after the eclipse - “nine days old” being an anagram of “So landed Yin”, haha, although nine is technically “my” number), and mentions the “whirl” and “girl” (yet another Yin symbol, and rhyming with another - “swirl”/or spiral - indicating the spiral-like “cycling”/“circling” and all falling back to 69 or 96 - the cycling “teardrops” or raindrops or whatever you prefer.) At any rate, I made a note that Burl Ives (a main celebrity-based symbol for denial of the Crown of Destiny due to his role in “The Bermuda Depths”) also mentions “Shady Lane” in his old “Big Rock Candy Mountain” song which my father also used to sing - although there are a lot of different versions. Meanwhile, as more fun play, “Crown of Destiny” can make the anagram of “Condor Yin Wefts” or whatever order is preferred. This relates to another prophecy on; “the Eagle from the North and the Condor from the South”, a personal reflection identifying Yin as the condor (Corona Australis) and is also a play on weft, woof, and warp, etc. (a play on the universe making it all happen as if weaving the plot together in higher levels or dimensions) - which someone we know used to joke about, along with Australians calling Americans “Yank” which I first misheard as someone calling me “Yang” and it was one of those “absent moments”. (I can even make a play on “Astral Yin” - as an added “painful” pun).

I did note the “cycling” concept of Yin and Yang as the circle. There is a lot behind this. I happened to see the old Cowsills video of “We Can Fly” which has a ship’s wheel turning - and which I had not seen since a very young child. In another video seen on the same night, Len Barry’s “One Two Three”, it actually has a roulette wheel. Some say this is also more relative to being the center of the “Wheel of Fortune” (no, not the TV show, but being a supposed human fractal construct of the universe - or Yang incarnate). I even got to see “Suzi Snowflake” which I have already written a fair amount on - the snowflake being the Star of David symbol-wise as well as Yin - and has the six points. At the end of this 1951 video is a suggested Yin Yang swirl, which was kind of amusing (and she also had aspects of the good witch from “The Wizard of Oz”). My brother also sang a song with the line “Hey hey hey snowflake” (a Jim Reeves song), for his wife - and recorded it when I lived at North Monroe across from them shortly after he married. It has the line “Now snow is gleaming and I’m not dreaming, I know this is for real”. There is also the line “You were standing there with snowflakes in your hair”, a cute play on the Cowsills song where they sing “…flowers in her hair” (about the “flower girl” - my wife was a “flower girl” in one Nimbin event as a child) and that Cowsills song has the last line “Was she reality or just a dream to me?" The difference is that in one song, she was standing in the snow, and the other, sitting in the rain…ha. "Unusual weather we’re having, ain’t it?” so said the Cowardly Lion or “every man”/“unresolved Yang” (as represented in my more recent “Dread Manticore” dream). This also was going to lead me to a writing on rainbows and snow (one of the Cowsills logos features rainbow-colored letters)…but, well, it looks like someone “beat me to it” so to speak on at least one site. Ah well. Synchronicity.

On one more added note for this entry, I saw a clip from “The Thomas Crown Affair” (1968). The clip had a small aircraft and on the tail of it was “9L” (“my” number followed by my last initial). The main song from it - “The Windmills of Your Mind” - has featured in a few dreams of my youth including a few about actual windmills. It starts out; “Round like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel, never ending or beginning, on an ever spinning reel, like a snowball down a mountain, or a carnival balloon, like a carousel that’s turning, running rings around the moon”. I have already written on the carousel synchronicity, as well as (including posting the image) the “I am fragile” (said by “Yin” the snowflake) beginning - to snowball down the mountain “I am avalanche” BC gag, my favorite two-panel comic strip.

And of course, the opening to the show I watched when younger (one of the only shows I watched much at the time, in fact) “Space 1999” (where the moon left Earth’s orbit to travel through space - like a dream I had years before the concept aired) - featured the music and title with “September 13th” - my wife’s birthday.

Follow-up to today's earlier entry : went back to bed for a late morning nap and slept for approx. 3 hours, 2 sleep cycles, I recall waking up once with recall but chose not to record and just try to slip back in, I did go back to sleep but not lucidly, don't remember those first dreams, but I did wake up right from the second batch of dreams with decent recall.

As is typical for those late morning dreams after about 8 hours it pretty much was "go with the flow" very low awareness, except right at the end I was sitting with a bunch of college students on some table and notice a long blonde haired stunning girl with her back towards me (pink leggings?), and I start to hit on her making a joke about the topic of conversation (which was showers), I touch her back to get her attention and start to give a stupid pick-up line involving showering ( ), and decide, no, I'm not going to do that, and I instead just am very genuine and "would like to go out with you." She's looking at me and says something is different about you, your hair?, and I touch my face and realize I've shaved off my beard, and I feel that my hair is very long and sex-ay.

Then that transitions to hanging out with a bunch of college girls and a narrator says "you don't want to run with the buffalo" (meaning you don't want to hang out with girls who just are with you to raise their status but are otherwise not in your league.) and I wake up.

Morning of February 11, 2014. Tuesday.



I believe February 11th is somewhat of a significant date (for me to some extent) because of the 2 - 11 pattern (as part of the huge 2, 6, 9, 11, 22, 69, 96, etc. links).

This is a fairly short semi-lucid dream that is more like an in-dream “vision”. I am watching, over time, a giant diamond rotating in no particular location. Each facet of the diamond is like a mirror, each “reflecting” (from an unknown location) a different female face.

There are very strong feelings of love and well-being as the “mirrors” of this giant diamond “slowly explode” outward as a somewhat random pattern. At the center of all this is my wife. She is smiling at me. I strongly feel that she is the “only true female that exists in this world” (or “universe”/“dimension” wherever) and is the origin of all others since earliest memory (even imaginary aspects of female characters in past dreams as well as all other females throughout history). This makes perfect sense to me since she was (in my opinion) the first female I “sensed” at a deeper level on her day of birth from across the wide ocean (while near the Port Charlotte region).

I suppose there is also a very vague connection to the very similar imagery (of the rotating diamond-like facets) of the “Superman” movie (1978) concerning “The Phantom Zone”, which is a negative implication - but not really relevant to my dream. Realistically, though, I do now see the Superman logo as “diamond-shaped” even though it is not geometrically diamond-shaped - it is actually very much like the diamond on a wedding ring in symbolism. Also, my wife’s anglicized first name begins with “S” and “S” is a Yin Yang representation (especially when paired with two smaller offset “c"s, though).

This dream had a lot of "perfect” energy and beauty.

+ surprised a burglar at my parent's house [most of the furniture was already gone from their living room]: a woman, I take her in a headlock (after wrestling away a heavy wrench from her hands) out to the street where her partners arrive in a big van/truck, a man gets out and points a gun at me, I put the woman in front of me, I'm dialing 911 with my free hand, I eventually connect and shout to the police my address and that there's a burglar with a gun pointed at me and I have a wrench in my hand but haven't used it yet, he wrestles the phone away from me, he shoots 5 or 6 times quickly, I feel pain and see blood on my left side but I look down and can't figure out if I've been hit or not

+ DO: a woman is talking to another woman about dressing ("wear inexpensive clothes but make them look good") going in to a movie theater and watching the economy movie.

+ something about parking in the parking lot at a former job

February 10, 2014

review: a very long dream separated into three parts, a psychotic doctor is out for blood, two agents help me, a war breaks out in the sky

Psychotic Doctor
My neighbor is a doctor. The dream right now is abstract and our houses are little cardboard cartons. This whole time, I had no idea that my neighbor, the doctor, is a complete psychopath. He's murdered. And after word gets out about these murders the doctor flees and goes into hiding.

I was riding my bicycle down the neighborhood when I nearly run over a crazed man. It's the doctor! Half of his face is missing its skin. But right before my eyes his face starts to heal. Is he not human? Like a monster, he attacks my bicycle and I run away.

Later on, I take refuge at an elderly woman's house. But this house is where the doctor is hiding in. Threatened again, I run away.

Agents for Hire
Me and my friends are in a large office building desperately trying to get help! A murderer is on the lose and he's after us. No one believed our crazy story about our friendly neighborhood doctor who transformed into a monster, except for two young female agents. One was ginger and the other was black with curly hair. The duo were the youngest agents and they were looking for an interesting off beaten job.

They quickly hurry me and my friends away from the main office, their bosses, and into a private backroom. They ask me if there's anything supernatural about this case. And I explain to them his face was disfigured and then before my eyes he healed.

The agents were kind and listened to everything I had to say and seemed to be scheming where to go from here. As I told them my story I remembered more dream scenes *possible false memories*. As I recalled those scenes they happened again.

The woman the doctor is staying with is actually a little person, not sure why that detail was important. When I left her house I wasn't alone, I was with my friends. Afraid the doctor was after us, we transformed into tanuki and hid in some bushes.

The agents reassure us that they are committed to our case! But then, an explosion outside catches us all off guard.

Sky War
A real war has broken out. My friends and I and the agents were gathered in some sort of military headquarters. But after we left the headquarters I was separated my friends and never knew what happened to them.

The battle taking place on the ground was beyond me. Guns vs guns, not my thing. What could I do? I look up to the sky. The real battle was taking place up there! Thousands of aerial battle ships! From down here they all looked like black dots darting across the sky. I can't help but shout "Look at that!". I swear I even saw dragons.

I'm no use down here. What about up there? Im worried I won't be able to fight if I focus on flying. But I had a sense my friends were up there in that battle. I fly up high and higher. I flew so high I reached the first tier of heaven.

In this first tier of heaven there were computer screens watching the business of earth. I suddenly think about a DC who I know to be deceased and ask an employee if I can see him. The deceased DC was shrunken in a box, too depressed to come out.

"When will he be better?"
"When he's ready."
"He's an idiot but he's really a nice guy."
"I know" replied the man "I created him."

The comment goes over my head. From the computer screen I can see that thousands are ignoring the war and watching useless TV like the simpsons. I get angry and start popping in and out of the TV screens and inform them about the war!

I flew through a screen and entered an empty living room. For a moment the news on the TV screen hypnotized. And then I remembered "the war! I have to find my friends!" I fly through the TV screen again, hoping it would take me back to where I started.

Instead I found myself on a tropical island, maybe Hawaii. I'm 1000's of miles away from the Sky War. Life here is peaceful. I meet some locals who try to tell me there's nothing to worry about or fear here. They invite me, we have lunch, life is good.

Suddenly there is a large explosion! The locals run outside and think the volcano must be acting up. But I look up to the sky. Giant enemy battalion ships, the Sky War is here. I woke up shortly after.

Journal Entry non-lucid #30 Dream, non-dream (Comments)
Background: I slept later than usual. Typical Monday recall= bad.

Dream fragment 1, 10:20pm-4:00am."": I was at some party and I meditated with my sister's teacher.

I'm reading cards for an off-duty cop or detective - it's about his case, and it's not official. The Hermit - that's the criminal. The Emperor - that's him. And then a minor card that indicates cooperation between the two of them, and things going smoothly.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I'm talking to this alien I'm traveling with and my first instinct is to call her Red - she's red from head to toe - but I stop and think about how nicknames work in alien cultures. Best case scenario, everyone's going to wind up calling me Pink, not sure I'm up for that. Me and another alien head outside on some errand, crossing this huge field, and as we're walking I ask him about nicknames. He says, "You don't want to say my name?", and I don't know how to interpret his tone - maybe bewildered, maybe hurt, maybe I've just accidentally proposed marriage, I don't know. We're still crossing the field, but we've wound up walking on top of/sliding down a pile of giant, motionless serpents.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

There are these people trapped in a cabin on a mountain by a group of killers, and they're wondering if their two friends who left earlier made it off the mountain okay. The scene changes to a group of people standing around a car parked near the base of the mountain, across a field of tall grass - the killers, a 'family.'

I switch to the POV of the father figure of the group, and I'm looking at the two young boys with us who are new to the family, keeping an eye on them. Not too worried though. Someone spots a figure moving out of the forest and into the field - the figure shouts to us when she sees us, waves her arms to get our attention. I'm thinking, huh, we missed one. We'd found a guy in the forest earlier, I hadn't realized there was still another one out there. That was sloppy.

Me and those two boys go to meet her, and she starts talking about how she needs a lift. Walking her back towards the car, we get to the part of the field near the road where the tall grass is all flattened down from what we'd done earlier, and there are a few things, plastic bags and such, scattered around on the ground. She's looking at the things on the ground and looking a little uncomfortable, she asks what we were doing out here. Having a picnic, one of the boys says. The rest of us laugh. It's technically true.

2/10/14 Excited and carefree witnessing the end of the world. Exhilirating non-lucid turned lucid (dild)..."overjoyed!!?" is what I wrote in my bedside journal.- It might have been influenced by day residue of seeing a listing for the movie Melancholia in my on screen guide over the weekend and recalling the movie of which I had seen parts of (featuring a glowingly beautiful and bare Kirsten Dunst in one scene). I guess I need to go back and watch the whole movie. Very unusual awakenings tonight either due to an unusual (for me) and more extensive pre-sleep/in bed/closed eye review of recent dream signs, day recall, and some mantras and visualization of diving off a cliff softly onto a beach and floating back up, repeat. Unusual awakening #1 was after only 1 hour of sleep and directly from a non lucid dream. I don't remember waking up that quickly after going to bed anytime at least in the last year. Unusual awakening #2 was 40 minutes later (perhaps end of normal 90 minute cycle with some interruption time in between making it approximately 100 minutes from going to bed.)

Earliest possible part of dream was in a version of my office where I always seem to be coming back from training sessions and SC (who I haven't seen in a long time) was in a cubicle nearby and I could hear her leaving me a voicemail (could hear by way of the sound travelling from her mouth a short distance across the room). Possible transition or new dream to a group setting perhaps in a conference room with families present and someone hands me a camera asking me to take pictures of everyone. I see two cute babies across on the far side of the room and zoom in on them and snap a shot but the baby on the left's head disappears. I think "what?" but my mind fills in an explanation "ah, the baby tilted her head behind the other baby's head...there it is now" (or very similar thought). Moments later, while looking at the front of the camera it accidentally takes a picture and I look at the screen and it features a woman in the room looking provocatively towards the camera and her dress is purposely revealing in more ways than one. This scene somehow transitions to a large group walking outside at night time. The provocateur is there with her boyfriend and my wife just in front of me. The provocateur walks close to me and then in front of me as if she wants me to check her out and I grab her from behind in a flirty way but then move to my wife and grab her from behind in a loving way. I can hear someone talking about how some planet (or other celestial object) is crashing into Earth and I am looking into the sky. Everyone starts running but my wife and I seem to have no fear more like a joyful running through this field and there are flashes in the sky, beautiful flashes and I realize that I am definitely dreaming. My wife says something like "lets make love one last time" and we are now running in a different direction from the group deep into the field for privacy I assume. I remember the TOTM (true love) but I think I said it wrong or she heard me wrong and she answered "It is to give others what you can not." I remember thinking that perhaps she meant "give what you think you are not able to give." I woke up shortly after and just had to write it down before trying to re-enter that dream or any dreams. The most memorable part for me was running through that field and looking up at the sky lighting up...breath-taking! Afterwards I managed to get various dreamlets of 2 to 10 seconds in length, some of which I found fascinating at the time but eventually had to get up. 105

Got lucid at the very end of a dream 2/8/14 but decided not to count it. It involved my computer acting strange (dild) but my awareness was low as it had been recently until this morning.

I am outside, It feels like I am in a parking lot and the school is on some kind of field trip.where a mirror was set up looking at myself. I have very small eyes and a large, mushroom shaped head that is completely bald. Some dream characters are laughing at me and calling me a freak.

2.10.14 Monday

Last night, bed 11:45pm - 8:45am

DR 5:37am

I'm sitting on a chair, behind a table, in Ophelia's kitchen. Danny is standing there. Op walks in in white bathrobe. She says she wanted to go potty, but... [I don't understand what she is saying here].

Suddenly there is a huge earthquake jolt, that moves my upper body forward. No sound, no nothing. Just one big jolt. I start explaining, why jolts are a scary shit, unlike the rolling kinds, that give you at least some kind of a warning by starting small.

I get by the wall and we look at each other, knowing that it was fate, quake happening when I was not home. I get a mental piture of a nearby river and I expect it to overflow or break from it's banks. Either from that jolt, or from the aftershocks, that we are bracing for. Aftershock comes minutes later, and we know it's a bad sign. Feel of doom, that had to happen, it was unavoidable.

DR
I'm cutting fruit. Lots of fruit. Strawberry juices all over the table.

DR
Lots of people, most dressed in black. They are going for a funeral. Something about not having enough flowers. I think I left my shoes behind someplace. I'm sitting on a chair and my late godfather is flirting with me, he wants me to go with him so he can bone me. Tsk tsk.

DR
Something about large grocery store, checkout lanes, bad guys, ...

Yeey, 4 dream recall. Thank you

I beleive I had a false awakening atleast once, I vaguely recall going to brush my teeth and there being a new tube of toothpaste. This morning I awoke to find just the old tube, causing me to remember this part of my dream.