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non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Walking up an alley of a park with a younger sister or cousin. On arriving at a terrace where there is a restaurant, we are cut off by barriers and cannot pass, because Ronaldo has booked it to have a private lunch there and no one can go throughit. I am upset and try to go around, but then he arrives by car and also blocks my way. I try to just ignore and move on, but something happens and he ends up also taking a walk in the park, almost side by side to us. As I reminisce to my companion about this place and some memories from my childhood, I notice he is listening and curious to know more. He asks me something about a street ahead and I suddenly remember stuff about it and drag him along in my revisitation of the place. I stayed there in a pension for some time and as I remember more details, I basically offer him a tour to this small town. He totally abandons his lunch plans and just joins us for good. Then we pass by a small place I mention has great veggie food, very basic but delicious and I invite him to have lunch there with us. He makes a bit of a snarky comment because of the veggie food, but then is really surprised to see that it is a very simple place with locals and not some fancy modern joint and I see curiosity won. I swear to him he will not forget about this place, either he likes the food or not, just because it is so authentic. By chance my dad is there with my aunt Ana and other people. They are waiting in line because there are no seats. I join them waiting in line and Ronaldo says we don't have to because of who he is, certainly they'll get us some table. Of course people recognize him when he enters and talk about it and some are very welcoming to him, but those that are sitting and eating with friends and family aren't bulging for him to get a seat and the fact is there really are no tables. What people do is they rearrange the tables so we have an area where we can sit on the floor if we want. I am ok with it, but he is not and so we just leave and continue our tour outside.
My dad reminded me that not only we spent some vacation on this town, but that we own an old house on this street. I am surprised and can't remember that at all, but he says it is that small property that appears mentioned on the IRS form and somehow it makes sense to me. He says it's just a couple blocks away, so I go look for it. Spot some folks building up a new house in the place where I thought was ours, can't figure out which one it is, so then we return and keep waiting for a table at the restaurant. By now Ronaldo is definitely feeling the hots for me and he grabs me by the waist and grabs my ass and pushes me against a wall, about to kiss me. But then my dad suddenly appears and ruins the moment. Ronaldo goes get some air for a minute and my dad comes talk to me. I guess he must be really proud that I am snatching such a rich famous guy and indeed he is, but also makes some comment about his manners and I have to agree that he is not exactly being a gentleman with me. I am not sure how I feel about it.

Walking by a boardwalk by the sea, recognizing some places. Seeing them with so much detail and thinking I don't wanna go there, because it is a place from another dream I had one day and nothing good came out of it. Then realize I am dreaming and it is a very stable lucid. The first thing that comes to my mind is to summon Avalokiteshvara. I really don't know why that was my first thought, but I did. Unfortunately, I immediately get surrounded by a pack of menacing growling dogs like dobbermans and rotweillers and I have to climb over a wall to protect myself. They keep jumping at me, viciously trying to attack me and I realize they are the protection mechanism or agents that always come if you try to liberate yourself, or meet those who can help you with that. I hadn't met them in a while. Then I remember that they have no power over me unless I give it to them, so I point the palm of my hands at them and slowly push them away with a kind of force field that makes me untouchable. One by one, the dogs step down and leave. I keep walking down the boardwalk while repeating mantras and continue to call for the deity. Don't see it anywhere but some lady approaches me offering me t-shirts. I say no and she insists that I follow her. I feel she is up to no good and accuse her of trying to distract me. After insisting a couple times, she walks away but I keep an eye on her as she walks towards the ocean and stays on the sand at the beach nearby. Wonder if she may be a manifeststion of the deity inviting me to come along and I rejected her, but I don't feel it. She passes by me again and leaves a box on the sand. Some girl says this is a gift to me but I am still suspicious of her intentions, so I don't touch it. The box opens by itself and contains gold statuettes of what initially also look like deities, so for a while I think this might be a sign. But as I look closer, the statuettes represent just common people in sex acts, like one lady going down on another and a threesome where someone is banging another from behind. Don't know what all of it means, but I think this is just Mara tempting me with distractions. Then I wake up.

A dream scene where a kid was running around seeming crazy while kicking a soccer ball ended and switched to me waking up in a bed at the old townhouse I used to live in. When I got up I was greeted by a former co-worker in the past and his friend. I said hello and asked him what he is doing here? He told me that he was trying to reunite co-workers again that he enjoyed working with.

He and his friend wanted to go find more co-workers and ask me if I wanted to join him and I agreed. As I am walking out to the front door with them it started to dawn on me how odd this situation is. I also realize that I was taller than I previously was because I now had to duck down my head to walk through doors. I realize I am dreaming and attempted to phase through the window but it wasn't working.

I then remember that I was planning to lucid dream today because I wanted to meditate in my dreams. I sat down and crossed my legs to begin meditating. I started to hear an intense ring and heavy vibrations flowing within my head. Unfortunately the vibrations and intense ringing got so intense that it was painful and I began to scream about my head hurting. I had failed, I tried my best to wake up but it just seemed the dream faded and I was only in darkness with a few blurred lights coming in.

That's when another dream began to form and I found myself in a bed again to soon realize it was a false awakening. I attempted to wake up and found myself in another false awakening only this time I was not lucid.

+ getting on bus, waiting outside for people to exit, doors close, I force them open to get on, the people on board don't want me (it's already crowded) so they force the doors close, I force them open again and push my way inside and sit down, sitting down, large group of girls in matching uniforms, white blouses, all get seats, for a second I think about standing up to give them a seat, but I realize I'm the old guy here and they wouldn't take it, in the end they almost all get seats,

+ view in theater 3 girls in matching red witch (?) costumes plus a couple others in the seating area, they're in the area to the right of the right aisle towards the back (about 80%, still some rows behind them), my viewpoint is from the central seating area a bit more towards the back from them

+ in theater, discussion about the fire-retardant properties of the main curtain, how it burns especially in stages, slowly, in a particular pattern, in order to give people time to see this and to escape. Meet Ewan McGregor, ask him about the fire curtain, he says "oh yes I've seen a lot of theater fires." I say "oh, really!?" with a tone, he says "oh, no it's not like that

+ see Mr. R (former scoutmaster) shake hands talking about boy scout troop <number>, with the other men there, I say I'm not the official leader of the troop just a volunteer

+ woman is taking dollar bills from a printer/machine and feeding them back in, several are rejected, and she gives up and takes out her wallet and puts them away in it.

+ See Neil M. working on computer equipment in a cube full of computer equipment in an office environment (low cubes, indoors), walk by I'd seen him earlier (deja vu?) I'm on my way somewhere else doing something, I notice he has a holographic white wolf display working that displays on his head making him look like a white wolf, he's moving it around rotating and turning his head

+ more scenes, forgotten

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At some party with lots of people from many places. It's fancy but also in some desolate location in some ruins. I get tired and get out of there, to realize we're in an island. I ask someone what time is it and they say 2 am. I say that's not possible. They reply is the jet lag, that's why I am not sleepy. But that is not my issue, my issue is that outside it looks early morning, with sunlight. I encounter some familiar faces and they ask me if I am joining them leaving this place. I agree, because I know nobody else and don't know where I am. So they walk me to a dock and then some small row boats come and get us.
Then we're taking a trip by bus once on land again. Still not recognizing the place as the night falls. Then I recognize the sillouette of Las Vegas in the dark, despite all the city lights being turned off. I just recognize some of the iconic shapes in the dark, like the Sphinx and the Eiffel Tower replicas. When it is day again we stop at a large mall so we can eat or buy anything and stretch our legs. For some reason I encounter my father, who apparently was looking for me and traced me back here. His behavior immediately throws me off as he starts asking questions and making innuendos that I don't even understand. I ignore him for a while and I evade his questions, but allow him to follow me around as I look at the shops for fun. I am wearing a long skirt and a corset and he touches the strings on the back of my corset, asking what happens if he pulls the strings off. I am starting to feel really uncomfortable and tell him to stop. Then I look at beautifful dresses and he asks something like who I am going to wear them for. I say I don't even know what he is talking about. Then we pass by a section of lingerie, to which I don't even look at, but he starts asking if I like this item and that item, all very girly pieces with fruits stamped and not exactly for my age as if he is signaling he wants me to be his little girl again. I tell him he is sick and disgusting and I have had enough. He plays dumb. But I tell him I know his mind, I know he is sexually attracted to me and jealous that I grew up and might get a boyfriend (I say I still haven't had one, but if I did that was none of his business). He looks embarassed and doesn't deny it. I call him all the names I ever wanted to call him and move on, through a pastry shop and then a jewel shop. He still follows me and then tells me to wait while he goes check on the bus we have to take home. I do sit in a bench thinking about what to do next, but I have no intention to join him. Billie Eilish is playing on speakers and I start singing along, and so do other teens around who smile at me. Some even start doing a coreography and I am really impressed. Then some guy I know vaguely from school also sits on the bench and he is the one recognizing me first and asks me about what I am doing here. He offers me a ride with his friends that are coming. I accept but still I feel bad for leaving my dad alone, worrying he might get lost looking for me, despite all.
[Note: My dad was a bit of creep all my life and I do have reasons to feel some disgust and anger towards him, but some of the dreams I have been having are a bit too much, because I don't recall him actually abusing me or saying stuff like he says in my dreams. This is disturbing stuff.)

I was entering a school/university to disarm a bomb hidden somewhere on the premises. I knew this, because I was being guided by a woman who could see the future. Apparently there'd been a previous timeline where the bomb's gone off, and I'd died. Bummer. (Possibly, she was also a time-traveler.) I ran up some stairs where everyone else came down. I remember thinking that at some point someone was going to try and stop me, thinking I'm a student and I should be headed for class. I don't recall how things went, but I was successful this time and the bomb was presumably disarmed. Anyway, when it was all finished, I met up with the woman again. She was a beautiful, had long red hair, and was in her to late '20s. I quite liked her, and we got along well. I didn't want this to just "end", lose touch and miss this opportunity to get to know her better. Before I woke up, I had a vision (where the line between unconscious dream and conscious imagination blurs) of her lying in bed with me.

This memory was brought back to me by hearing a small dog whining outside my apartment. So I was in my old room back at our old house. Something happens, and "they" were coming to slaughter the cats (not our cats, but other cats that happened to be present). I think I left my room to let them do their thing. They went in, and it was a bloodbath. Awful sounds of cats being murdered, and blood splattering everywhere (I couldn't directly see it, I was right outside the door). I think I was supposed to be on their side, and let it happen. One kitty escaped the room and fled outside. I changed my mind, picked up the kitty, and ran out of the house. At some point I had to restart its heart with my fingers. My plan was to bring it to a vet, and hope its life could be saved.

I was in charge of moving a middle school class to a room on the 3rd floor with my coworker. we put the kids in a line behind each of us so that there were 2 even lines of kids. We walked through the hall fine, but when we got to the stairs, the bell rang and the halls became very crowded. Now it was difficult to see all the kids, and some of them started moving very fast ahead of me and my coworker. I walked faster to catch up with the kids who went ahead while my coworker stayed behind with the slower ones. These kids were moving extremely fast. the halls died down eventually and we all got to the same place. My coworker started scolding the fast kids for intentionally walking faster than us and not staying in the line. He said he could see their footprints on the ground (I couldnt, it was tile) and their stride length was far greater than that of a 6 foot tall person.

........

After work, me and my coworker meet my husband at a restaurant. We are in Korea. There are no other customers at the place. Even though I can read Korean, the server brings me an English menu. It is very difficult to understand. the food entries dont have descriptions underneath and have un-intuitive names and most didnt have any pictures, so im reading the menu for a while to try to undserstand. from what i remember there was a tray with some banchans but no rice, a tray with a boiled carrot rectange and a slice of spam, and some other unappetizing options. The server comes by and asks for our order but I say Im not sure what to order since the menu doesnt make sense. my husband, coworker, and the server point to a tiny poster on the wall with a diagram of 4 squares labeled 1-4 and some arrows. the server says first you pick a meat, then vegetables, then rice or noodles and then cooking method. With this new info, i try looking at the menu again, but it still doesnt make sense.

..........

Im at an hotel with my husband and taking a shower. the shower looks very dirty and grimy. something about this gave me dejavu so I did the nose plug check. For some reason, i couldnt breathe through my nose in this dream, so that convinced me i was irl. I looked at the grime of the shower and determined it had to be real since it was so detailed. Then i looked around the room and the architecture didn't look strange, so i was completely convinced this was not a dream.

I’m am going to my friend’s house. I put my foot under the closing garage door to stop it from closing. It closes on my foot and it hurts. I walk in to the garage. As soon as I do, I realize that I am in a lucid dream. Audible internal voice “And I’m in a lucid dream.” I also realize that this is my house not my friend’s. The garage looks dirty. I resolve to do a reality check and count my fingers. In the kitchen i count my fingers. They open slowly and my hand looks distorted making it very obvious that I am in a dream.
I want to wake up and record this in my journal, however I did not wake up right away. My wife is home and wants to go to the store with my newborn and pick up our friend’s newborn along the way. I count my fingers again. My fingers and hand are distorted and outstretched. “Where can i find child care !?”she says. “Where is your phone” i say. I pick up her phone and try to dial a number. however I notice they keypad icon on the iphone is now a skyscraper icon and won’t work. I wake up.

1/14/23 Dream journal

I went to sleep at around 1-2 with struggle of falling asleep and kept waking up in the middle of the night about 5 times

Me and my sister went to the store after she got 6 dollars, when we got candy, I got mad because she didn’t give me any candy and we split up going home. When I crossed the street, I felt weight on my shoulder disappear, and noticed I dropped my bag. I crossed again, but another man was there, we almost crossed the street at the same time, but I got there first. When I started picking my stuff up, he tried to grab it I told him it was mine, but he ended taking one of my things. Then we started fighting, he was like 8 foot tall and didn’t talk, and I had to do crazy things to get to his head to bring him down, the thing he grabbed was a cord, that at the end of the fight he wrapped around my neck. I ended doing a move where when you get to the ground the cord releases. The dream goes out then I see some guy talking about how he loves that move on like a tv show or something and he shows it in one of his- looks to be sumo matches, when I wake up.

1/12/23 Dream journal
chatting
I went to sleep at around 1-2 am then woke up without a dream to an alarm(7:10) I didn’t mean to set, then woke up to my actual alarm at 8:10, so this was less than an hour of sleep for my dream, but I think I was in rem sleep so all I had to do was go back, I could of did one of the method’s for lucid dream, but I wanted my sleep and didn’t want to sit there because that method can range in time depending on how good you are at it, and I only lucid dreamed once and it was without that method. I kind of feel like it was a lucid dream, because right when I said the last part of my dream and woke up, I had it in my voice, idk if it's like I'm repeating what I hear when I sometimes watch or hear something like a song I don’t remember, so idk, and it was decently vivid, and I remembered it easily right after I woke up.

the dream

I first went to play the world cup with Luis, we beat them, but it was like a war world cup, so everyone had guns including Luis and me, we were shooting at them. The last people came up to us and we were the last people, we ended up killing one, but We ended up letting one person go, because he was a good guy and nice. Then we went to the movies with Omar, the movies had a Walmart, when we were looking around, I started sitting on the ground and tying my soccer shoes right next to a female who walked up to me and wanted to talk. She was trying to kind of get my number but playing hard defense and playing hard to get. I then Sayed something of the lines of “do you want my number or something”, because she was talking to me for so long, I don’t remember what she said after, but I said to her after she said something, I don’t need a girl…. right now (I'm 15 so I say this a lot, because I want to wait a little), with a smirk on my face, then woke up to my alarm

delete

Geez, almost a month of no DJing...and I'm surprised that I've had no LDs since the competition! Oops...well the New Years festivities are wrapping up and it's time to get back to connecting more strongly with dreams and dreaming.

Full Huberman stack last night an hour before bed. In bed at decent time. No screens for an hour or two before bed. 15-20 minutes of Zhine "mind merging with space" meditation. No food close to bed time. Fitbit says I slept for 6:48, 84 sleep score, only 34 mins awake. Deep 1:05, REM 1:36, 90% below resting heart rate, 7% restless.

My goal was to immediately head back to sleep on every waking. No delving except for when there was a ton of recall on hand, presumably on final waking.

A ton of scenes. Some nice, amusing, fairly present dreaming.

Went to bed with the mindset of "whatever happens in the night, I accept it"

+ At a grilled food stand, selecting the small burger I want, they're talking to me about which I should choose and they're talking among themselves. Outdoors, daylight.

+ Running a foot race. Start at the starting gate, I anticipate the signal and lean out and put a foot forwards, pull back. Start running. I'm in my underwear only. It's more a slow jog. Run alongside JH (company N CEO) for a while. Outside/daylight/open space walkway

+ looking for mom in the maze-like blue/white tile bathroom corridor complex, get trapped inside?

+ counting money at a desk in a room, with partner, and woman counter, I tell my partner (woman?) to be careful with the envelopes of cash I'm giving her, I want her to count it carefully and keep a total before giving it to the clerk to make sure they don't steal from us

+ in wash/laundry room, scarf gets stuck in washer, open top and pull it out, guy comments on my writing on the whiteboard (in <foreign> language, interesting that he seems to know it too), turn away, turn back and the guy has erased the whiteboard and I think stolen all my money and stuff. I get aggressive and dig in his pockets for my papers, I bash his face repeatedly with something heavy and leave him (I imagine) bleeding on the floor.

+ in CH bedroom, it's hot, 3 guys there, open blinds, open window, admire the view, pretty accurate, notice some buildings not there in waking life looks like new construction, point out "see, there's the GG bridge!". One of the guys asks about one of my twin beds, asks if it should be moved up against the wall (adjoining the hallway), I answer no.

+ See son S1, no eyes, glitter across face, some tattoo markings, this is a cosplay thing?

+ In large tubes/tunnel complex, Reach opening looking out on underground river, look down below me and see this is where they've been leaving the packages for delivery, several large ones in brown paper wrapping are there. My package is there and has been opened, I'm angry about this, I look at it and it is a large balloon shape, think this is a gift from S1?

+ A woman has successfully managed to get away, and she has her money with her.

+ As I'm packing up things (in the laundry room), I realize I'm leaving behind several objects, like the model plane remote control that has the climb/descend buttons on it (white control cube with black buttons and a white cord), I think somebody may want to fly my plane, but they won't be able to without the remote.

I’m at a casino - it sort of feels like Bordertown. I’m here for a pool tournament, I think with people from work. I’ve been parked for a moment and sure enough I see Ethan S. walk past. I notice he’s only wearing jeans and a t-shirt, one of the ones he always wears, even though it’s cold out. I decide to follow him because I don’t know exactly where I’m going, but he’s gone by the time I get out of my car because he’s walking so quickly. I’m inside now, and it’s a very nice casino. It has the feel of a hotel. I go upstairs, where I meet Dad. There is a buffet here and we get some food and then a table. At the table are Ethan S. and cousin Kassidy. I introduce Dad and Ethan S. doesn’t make eye contact while slapping his hands down on the table. I’m now at the pool table, which is in a small room that has a couple of doors around it. They are for each player to go into so the one currently playing can be alone. Julia is here now too. I end up being solids and make quite a few highly unlikely shots in a row.

Tess has replied to my last text to her, after 2 months or so, asking something like ‘why?’ or ‘where did you go?’. I guess this assumes that she knows I got my hair cut somewhere else. I feel like I have to reply and do feel a little bad.

I’m going to meet some people from work at a restaurant. I’m here now, somewhere I’ve never been. The restaurant is very large; there are rooms and wide hallways, replete with tables, every one of which looks fully occupied. I think we have a table reserved and that no one else is here yet (I think I arrived with someone?). Now I think we’re seated (I’m not sure who is here) and the service is extremely slow (we wait an hour or more).