false awakening

Legend: Dream , Semi-Lucid , Lucid , Side notes.

7th Lucid:

Summary: I just woke up from the first dream i had. I'm in my bedroom, but i suddenly got a feeling, something wasn't right, this didn't feel normal. It then occurred to me that this could be a dream.
So i then did a reality check and it was a dream. I had a false awakening and was now lucid. The level of lucid was low however, i was still lucid but not all the way there. My room was dark. I quickly closed my eyes and tried to teleport to a beach. But it didn't work (if my level of lucidity was higher, i would have had the sense to try again), so i decided to look around my room some more, i saw a skeleton in my bathroom. Well, since i couldn't go to the beach, i decided i'm going to go over and kick that stupid creepy skeleton out of my bathroom. As i did this, i woke up.

Time: About 4 and a half hours after falling asleep.

Break in: I'm driving a car, i have two people in the back, i guess they are my partners, but half way to our destination, they jump out. (idiots) So i finally get to a room in some building, i have some gloves on and other materials with me, it looks as if i'm about to break in to some ones house. Well, my partners are gone so i wait there. Some one comes over eventually but their not my partners. it's a fat guy and some girl from one piece. The girl walks over and tells me that she doesn't want to hear my fucking complaining anymore. The expression on my face was kind of like: Umm, what? screw you too, go away.

Information Runner: The dream starts off with me and my dad. We're on top of a building in the outskirts of a city. The setting is in the future, the government has messed like everything up, people are starving, and me and my dad are part of a resistance, we go and gather information. Anyway, at this point, we're looking for a doctor for some reason. We get down from the building and eventually find a woman with an injured child heading somewhere. We decide that she must know where a doctor is so we follow her. She turns between some houses but we stop. We come up to a house that's sort of elevated off the ground, and it has a very small crawlspace along the ground that we can use to get to the top of the house. So me and my dad crawl along the ground on this slope with the house floor above us. We crawl and i step on a nail with my right foot. That stung a little. Anyway, we get to the top of the house and walk in, there, my dad relays information while i stock up on some guns. The dream ended here.

The movies!: I go with my friends to the movies. The movie we're seeing hasn't started yet so i go to the bathroom. The bathroom is freaking huge, there's even people taking showers in here. Either way, i go up and learn against a wall and start peeing. I literally set there and pee for like 2 minutes straight. When i'm done, i walk out of the bathroom and see a stand with people giving out candy. I head on into the theater, the movie has started. I desperately walk around to find my backpack, i finally find it after making such noise. I'm afraid to get up and find my friends because i've already made a lot of noise. But i don't care, i end up jumping over like 5 seats before i find my friends. Once i find them, these two fat blond ladies come up to our group claiming they know me. One hugs me and i freak out, i tell them to back off and tell me their names. They do and they sound vaguely familiar but i otherwise don't know them. The dream ended there.

Tractors: I'm outside with my dad, and someone is selling guns. this guy is selling an ak-47 for $10,000 dollars, and a grenade launcher for $50,000. I get into an argument about how crazily overpriced the grenade launcher is. ( my dream self doesn't seem to realize that the ak-47 is $10,000....that itself is insane). Either way, i give up and walk into my house and sleep. However, in the middle of the night, i see lights outside. I get excited and i'm like "Yeah, time to see what's going on out here". i look out and i see two of our tractors driving around the yard. I look closer and notice no one is driving them, the tractors are driving themselves. This was freaking weird, i didn't know how to respond to that. I then go to my dad, and he replies "Oh yeah...that sometimes happens" in a casual voice. How is this not a big deal for him?!?!

Skateboard rivals: The only thing i remember about this one, is that i'm in a futuristic looking town in some park. I notice that two rival skateboard gangs are challenging each other ( yeah...skateboard gangs that are fighting over which skateboard style is better ). They do some crazy tricks and i think i remember something about them eventually blowing up the park because one guy jumps up like 2 miles into the air and on impact...his skateboard exploded. xD

Realize I'm in a dream. I don't remember anything about the dream apart from realizing i was in it. Decide that I would like some sex. See someone in the distance, she's got blonde hair but I can't work out who it is. I approach her. It's a teacher I used to know, she's pregnant for some reason. Decide to touch her boob and then we make out. Wake up, but not fully. I feel like I've woken up but I'm actually still in a dream. I actually fooled myself into thinking I've awoken, however I'm still completely asleep.

I'm on a perilous and winding mountain road. The road eventually gets to a point where it's straight up, at a 90 degree angle. I make it over the top of the incline and end up in a town.

A large group of people are hanging around outside their houses, celebrating new years. I notice that four guys seem out of place. I also notice signs of some sort of mysterious substance that is being handed out and passed around. I witness people eating the powder. Nothing noticeable happens to anyone.

I travel to the house of stairs. Stairs everywhere. Probably an infinite amount of stairs. There are drawers and cabinets everywhere. Every single stair has hidden compartments. Suddenly, Blake and Joe are with me. We find a white, cocaine like powder. I assume this is the substance that the people of the town were ingesting. We find drinks in another hidden compartment, and we mix in the powder. Of course, we had to drink it. Pass out.

Wake up to find everyone gone and an enormous craft outside of town. It's so badly wrecked that I can't really tell what kind of machine it is, but it seems to have come from the air. I enter it, and a child is panting and writhing with rolled back eyes. I turn around and see an old friend. I ask him where everyone is. He tells me they're not here anymore, some sort of transformation, or ascension. I ask about the child, and I'm told something unintelligible. I exit the craft alone, and make my way to a glass skyscraper in the middle of the town. I make it all the way to the top floor. I walk over to the window, and stare out over the town. No sign of life, and the wrecked aircraft has layered the town in a thick fog. I'm then pushed from behind. I smash right through the window, towards the ground. As I'm falling, I manage to spin my body around to look up. I see a small figure also falling. I can't make out its face, but I can see that it's smiling. I spin my body back to face the rapidly approaching ground, but I realize I'm not falling anymore, and I'm back at the house of stairs. Blake and Joe are, again, with me.

There is a mother and a child sitting on some stairs, blissfully unaware of us. The child is playing with a streamer while the mother watches with endearing eyes. There is an extremely old woman at the top of some stairs, fiddling around in a drawer. I start moving towards one of the infinite number of staircases, but the old woman turns to me and asks, "Have you had a taste?" I just smiled smugly, for reasons unknown. "Enough!", she said, "You'll have a taste now." She had an empty, terrifying look in her eyes. Joe and Blake were frozen in shock, eyes and mouths wide open, staring around, at me, at her. I took what was forced on to me, which happened to be that damned white powder again. My vision flashed, mind went numb. I saw the old woman's features take on an extremely slender and jagged quality. She slowly morphed, becoming taller and skinnier. Her eyes were black, face blurry, as was everyone else's. She drew me closer to her, and then shoved my now tangible consciousness into my brain. Like, literally, into my exposed brain. Having anything shoved into your brain probably hurts.

Oh boy.

Operation Homicide is a series of my dreams where I take on the character of Bad-Ass McCoy, and kick ass. Whether it be random villains or Albanian drug lords, Bad-Ass can handle it all. So get your guns ready, cock 'em, and hand 'em over, because I'm about to do all the shooting.

Level of Lucidity: 9
Level of Clarity: 5
Level of Realism: 6
(levels based 0-10, 0-5 being low - good 5-10 being great - extreme)

Method: WILD/WBTB
WBTB Time: 6:25 AM - Stayed awake for 20 minutes - Using smart alarm to subtly start the alarm, then progressively increase the volume.

Operation Homicide Ep. 102: I was laying in bed after my WBTB and trying to keep still and relaxed. I couldn't help but move a couple of times to stay comfortable, and eventually simply rolled onto my side. After laying there for a little while I felt myself slipping into sleep. I was very aware of myself and of the fact I was trying to perform a WBTB WILD. As I was laying there about to fall asleep I heard the most TERRIBLE noise in the world! It was such a loud screeching I thought I was about to break my ear drums. It sounded like my grandmother was being torn apart by a pack of wolves, and I literally had that thought go through my mind. This of course was just my imagination and fear getting the better of me. I remembered reading a thread on DV about hearing this sound that sounded like the fibers of the universe were ripping, and that's EXACTLY what it sounded like. It took everything I had not to throw my hands up to my ears to cover them. Each time I heard it I started yelling. The first few times that I felt these waves of sounds coming I kept yelling and I kept snapping back to reality saying that it's just part of the WILD process, and to stay calm, I'm entering the dream, but they never seemed to end. After about 5x of listening to this hell, I finally hit the big one and it felt like I was falling at a very high rate down a worm hole. I watch "Through The Wormhole With Morgan Freeman" all the time, which is a show about space time and how space and the universe work, and black holes and wormholes, and I literally saw, felt, and thought that the Earth had been swallowed by either a black hole, or a wormhole and was seeing the last seconds of my life.

I quickly thought to myself "Wait! I must be dreaming!" even though I wasn't fully asleep yet... as soon as that happened I snapped awake and sat up in my bed. I heard a knock at the door, and figured my grandma in the next room heard me yelling, I told her to come inside. I kept looking down at my sheets and had the idea to RC just to make sure it's not a false awakening. I tried the finger through hand thing, and the RC failed, my finger wouldn't go through. It was my uncle who walked in my room, not grandmother. He walked over to my dresser and kind of stood there awkwardly. He started talking but I couldn't hear him. I asked him to speak up. I had a bit of a small realization... my uncle usually talks with a loud voice, this is strange. Suddenly he starts shouting as loud as he possibly can and black smoke surrounds him and he is about 7' tall! Scared out of my mind, I remembered reading right before my WBTB that this guy entered a FA and realized it after he did multiple RC's, because the finger through palm method didn't work, but the nose plug technique did. I did the nose plug, and had to try for a few seconds and REALLY focus on what was happening in my nose, which was hard with a 7' demon standing in front of me. Suddenly it hit me! I'M ASLEEP! I remembered something I had read about dream control, and shouted "THIS IS MY DREAM!" He didn't seem affected. I tried shouting it again, no result. I knew not to be afraid of him, but naturally was a little intimidated by the looming dark presence. I closed my eyes and shouted "BE GONE!!" When I opened them he was gone. I stood up and looked around. I suddenly heard my grandma talking, but I realized it's in real life, talking to my grandfather, so I quickly and calmly jumped into my bed, laid down, and prepared for a DEILD. Success! I DEILD'ed and when I opened my eyes I was in a warehouse of sorts.

The warehouse had furniture around it, and had pictures on the walls, and a large garage that opened. It seemed kinda like a hipster lounge and I was just chilling there. There was a large opening in the wall, probably for driving cars to the back of the warehouse, and I walked through it.

The dream gets very fuzzy from here, because I had a couple more dreams after this one. I remember standing in the warehouse and looking around. I thought "Wow.. I'm really thirsty..." and walked over to where a wall was. There was someone else there and he seemed to be my friend, so I just went with the flow. I stood next to the wall and looked at the lower part of the wall about a foot off the ground. In my mind I imagined a small spout coming out of the wall like you'd use to attach a hose. Just as I pictured it sliding out of the wall, a guy walked up behind us with a hose in his hands, and offered it to us. Funny how my mind doesn't work JUST the way I want it, but it still gets the job done.

I thought to myself "What do I want to do...?" Then I remembered a dream series I started a couple of nights ago about a loose canon justifier named Bad-Ass McCoy. So I said "Ok, Bad-Ass, let's kick some ass." I briefly thought of the TOTM to go para-sailing over the ocean, but thought "Eh, fuck it."

The rest of the dream is kind of fuzzy and skips around a lot unfortunately. But after all, this is my FIRST WILD ever! So I'm pleased with the fact I remained lucid for at least a bit.

I remember a few times I could hear someone talking... and then I realized it's my grandmother in the other room talking to my grandfather, who is very hard at hearing, so she was in a sense shouting at him. I remembered what I had read, and stabilized the dream by rubbing my hands together. A couple of times I took a look at my hands to check how many fingers I had. I got a VERY creepy and strange feeling when I looked at my hands that SNAPPED me back into the dream. (I had 6 fingers, and sometimes 5) I vaguely remember that at one point I had a gun, and was just about to go on Homicide Duty... but I felt myself start to wake up so I laid down and waiting with my eyes closed so I could continue in a DEILD.

When I opened my eyes I was in a fancy cabana type place, and had a look around, then lost all lucidity and it turned into a normal dream. (To read more about this "cabana type" dream, check out my dream journal, it will be a separate entry.)

This one's going to be a little shorter simply because it was harder to get to my computer to start writing. But anywho, I remember something, so I might as well write something.

Basically, all I can recall is walking along a snow path. I was armed with something, I know that much. It was probably a sword, but I can't remember for sure. Anyway, it was snowing lightly, but the snow path was narrow. If I'm remembering correctly, the snow path was more like a bridge crossing some kind of gap... but at the same time I distinctly remember being up in some mountains. Or maybe that's just me making up shit? Either way, I continued up until I came to this... I don't know whether to call it a large cabin... a castle... I'll call it a hall for now. Anyway, I walked inside, and I knew I had to get something. Not sure what, but I didn't have that much time to look simply because I was attacked by some kind of goblin thing. It might have been another creature but... I suppose it's the only way I can describe it. It had animal skin armor, and it was green... so god damn it I'm going to call it a goblin. Unsurprisingly, I beat it's shit. After that I think I just left... I don't even think I took anything (or maybe I did, and I just don't remember). Consistency when I found myself moving down... or rather up the snow path again. After that it's a blur, because next thing I knew, I was extremely sad. Like... I associate this sadness to the thought of my parents dying or something horrible like that. I remember this because... well, I wasn't sure if I was awake or not for sure, but I started holding Apollo for comfort. My other tulpalamas also asking what was wrong... I didn't answer, given the fact I went back to sleep. I believe I had another dream, but I can't remember what it was.

Perhaps that was them in the dream, perhaps it wasn't... but whatever. I'm going to attempt to do some legitimate research over the site in order to make larger strides toward lucid dreaming.

As of now, the only things I've been doing is keeping an alarm that plays loudly and hourly to get my mind used to asking if I'm dreaming. Also the hands thing and the mantra. But yeah. Enough from my mouth.

I found myself in my old elementary school in the back. I recognized the back as my old social work classroom, there was only 1 teacher there and she gave me something to work on. It was a math/writing assignment that i had trouble with. While i was working on said assignment, I got up and looked out the window. Kids were playing on the swings, but there were more swings than there always were. when i finished my assignment I asked if i could go outside. "No" said the teacher in a very demonic voice. I leaned against the wall next to me, closed my eyes, and then opened them again. I found myself in an empty art room with nobody else inside. I looked out my window and saw the kids playing like usual. I then woke up at 3:00 AM to do the WBTB technique. I wrote in my journal next to me the dream and went back to sleep an hour later. I then found myself in the middle of a street that lead to my old apartment building. I flew to the building and saw my old friends playing there. I hovered over one of them and asked where someone was. They didn't know where he was. I then ran to a person with super speed and hit him. I woke up once again, but when i looked at my hands there were 7 fingers, I said "I'm in another dream" then woke up in real life.

Narcissism and botched summonings ahead. Still, every lucid's fun and this was a good reminder not to be too casual with details in dream control situations!

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #111: Vanity at The Doppelganger Waterpark

I have a false awakening. Faint morning light filters in through the window. I wonder whether it's too bright to get back to sleep. A bedside clock says that it's 5:00 AM. It seems too bright and too late to have a lucid dream. I remember the micro-lucid from earlier in the morning and feel disappointed that I didn't hit a real one. (I really did have a micro-lucid earlier, as well as an earlier false awakening.)

I get up to use the restroom and notice that I'm not in my usual bedroom but rather on the first floor of a building -- a hotel perhaps? I feel like I'm awake, but the bathroom is just... so different. I'm dreaming.

As I leave the bathroom, I hear Wife beginning to stir. She's muttering something but I can't make it out. The morning light makes it seem urgent to get started with my goals, so I phase out through an external wall, my head and shoulders passing through a window. I end up in a fenced, grassy yard with a circular stone table surrounded by simple stone benches.

My strategy for this dream is to forget the meeting location for now and just try to summon NewArtemis directly. I walk toward the yard's open gate, holding my hand behind me as I go. "[NewArtemis], grab onto my hand." No good. I have the sense that I did it all wrong. Stop asking. I sort of try again but my level of intent is poor and nothing happens.

As I exit the yard, I'm distracted from the summon by a mirror hanging on a brick wall to my left. I check my reflection and see that I'm wearing a pair of jeans without a shirt. I vainly check myself out and notice that I'm less in shape than I remember being -- torso a little smoother, face a little puffier. I start worrying that I've let myself slip in waking life and try to remember whether that's true. It suddenly occurs to me that this is probably the most pathetic, narcissistic thing I've ever wasted lucid dream time on in my entire life.

I walk further along the grass until I come to a large, packed pool that's being rocked by gentle waves, almost like it's a half-activated water park wave pool. I notice my friend "SC" playing with a young child (too young to be one of his sons). About twelve feet to his right, I see another SC! The doppelganger smiles and gives me a nod of acknowledgment.

As I continue along the pool, I see my high school friend "LM". And just as with the other friend, not far from her is another doppelganger. Again, the doppelganger looks my way and smiles. The smile seems genuine rather than threatening so even though I find it a little weird, I'm not too troubled by anything that I'm seeing.

The water makes me think of Angel Falls. Okay, new plan: summon Art while on the move and dash to Angel Falls for Task of the Year. My hope is that if I'm very casual about the summon it'll just work. I reach my hand behind me and say, "[NewArtemis], Angel Falls is just up ahead." I feel a hand grasp mine and I look back to confirm that it's Art. But when I do, I see that the hand is sticking straight up out of the water. The geometry of all this strikes me as strange. How is their arm so long that they can still be submerged and grab onto me?

As I'm thinking this, the person floats up out of the water, still gripping my hand. She's a complete stranger -- blonde, early 20s, fair-skinned, slightly heavier build. She's wearing a black one-piece swimsuit. "Who are you?" I ask, and her only reply is to half-smile and turn away. I notice that her teeth have a very mild yellow/brownish stain to them.

"I'm going to change you into [NewArtemis]. Okay?" I'm not trying to ask permission so much as... explain what's about to happen? There's no reply. I look off to the side to make the transformation easier, but the dream ends before I can take this any further.

Dream recall from today's naps.

Dream 1(fragments)

I was chatting with SilentEternity on skype and there was something about school i had to search on google.

Dream 2:

I was watching yogscast playing on some rather simple minecraft map. It was designed for competitive games but they were trying to coop it for some reason, then they used flight cheat to get to the upper area of the map. There was passageway with glowstone, and another hidden passageway in it. Then there were some big spiders with changed, non-squarey, models, yogscast suddenly started overreacting and then...
I suddenly am at home in corridor and dad's here i spontaneously realize that i am dreaming and start going forward, i try imagining sounds of spiders from before, then i actually hear one coming from behind and then i kinda ride on him to the kitchen, where i lose balance and fall off.
I wake up but i still have dreamy feeling so i rub hands, it's very vivid and i think about transformation, i remove window by jumping backwards through it, then i feel wings and fly. There are some DCs and also i briefly notice some huge dude in the red shirt in a chair to the left. I try transformation but i somehow get teleported back a bit instead, i continue flight along the building but then dream fades out.

Comment: Stuff has been piling up and I just don't have enough time to properly journal, so here is a summary of the notable things during the last few days.

Sleep quality: I guess the caffeine frenzy of last week is taking it's toll and as I have been very sleepy in the last few days, to the point where I just can't do a proper WBTB

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Date: 16 June

pre bed: brain multivits

The key words never made it to a proper journal entry. This is the second time I take those multivits, they have increased vividness, and added some unpleasant dreams and aggressive DC behavior, similar to last time I took them but a bit less emotional. I also had a guest related FA with unpleasant contents, after I was woken up by guest that came for the weekend.

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Date: 17 June

pre bed: SJW

WBTB: p.oil capsules, 1/2 latte

Pre wbtb dream1: From the notes "Obe" and some other word I can't read. I checked with my feelings, and I get nothing. It is very unlikely that this was Obe/lucid, so this doesn't qualify even as suspicious.

Fragment2: I am looking through the HI lights but they are in the dream. I am able to see some events form in the lights/fog and conclude that I have developed special abilities irl.

WBTB: I was very sleepy and spent less that the desired time out of bed, so couldn't quite wake myself up. Fell asleep too fast.

Dream3: This dream was very long and vivid. I am first in some kind of bar talking to an interesting (in a non-sexual way) DC, that resembles a friend of mine, but he turns out gay and doesn't want to pay me any attention after the truth about him comes out? It is the middle of the night so I head home in some unknown city, have a difficult time finding my way back, but conclude it is because I am drunk.

I keep on roaming these unfamiliar streets, trying to find some transportation when I run into an old friend of mine. We have a very realistic conversation, and it feels like I am talking to the real person. It is quite late but he invites me to join them in another place where we can continue drinking. I look at my phone, that looks quite normal to see what time it is. Me and old friend are going to someplace but end up instead in the house of a female DC that starts seducing my friend. I try to leave the place and get my friend out of there.

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Date: 18 June

Comments: I was sleeping very heavily again, got short-ld that I count as micro ld just before final wake

Mini-ld: I find myself in a room attracted to an unpleasant male DC. This looks very suspicious and I realize this is a dream. Unfortunately my impulses are stronger than me and I still decide to go ahead after doing a RC and taking some precautionary measures.

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Date: 19 June

Comments: decided to take a break from journaling, WBTB, etc.

Dream quality and recall: vivid, recall of the last dreams was good

Dream1 micro -ld: I am on the street and lucid. Something that I hold in my hand draws my attention, it is a spherical object, the size of a tenis-ball. Didn't have much chance to look at it because this thing although a hard object is actually alive and somewhat aggressive, so I grasp with with all force, trying to move my hand and just throw it away. This is not possible because the object is very strong and has gravitational heaviness. I think I wake up after some struggle, then fall back to sleep.

Dream2: interesting story about some girl

Dream3: long vivid dream of me in some city

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Progress with goals as the 19th morning:

- Do 100 RCs (23/100)
- notice real life DS 100 times and RC (19/100)
- 10 proper WBTB attempts -> days (8/10)
- 10 morning RCs (6/10)
- 2 proper WILD attempts (1/2)
- task flexibility
- journal flexibility

LDs: 12 (official count)
micro-lds: 7 (not counted)
suspicious events: 3 (not counted)

Dream

I just arrived in a car with my older brother to a remote place, i see some college guys dressed in their gown ( is the academic costume ... i really don't know i to say it in English)... i propose to my brother we prank them by shouting something to them and my brother ignores me and starts to walk on their direction ... suddenly i start to looking around and i realize i'm dreaming , for some reason i don't do a RC.

I start walking, following my brother while i rub my hands for stabilization ( I didn't forgot this time XDD)... i pass through the college guys and go to a bar .... is a weird bar , looks like an abandoned house , there are no doors , or windows or even any furniture... all there is is walls, old wall stained by time.

There are a lot of young people in there ... i see i guy and i recognize him, in the dream i'm sure i know him from the DV or some video tutorial i saw about Lucid Dreaming ( the truth is that i don't even know him in real life although is face looked familiar ), i address my self to him saying that we might be sharing a dream... he ignores and i think to myself " he must think i'm a DC".

At this point a woman starts talking to me , she recognizes me .... is a old woman , dressed in black with few teeth in her mouth . I take a second look at her and she looks like a aunt of mine ( only my aunt in not that old ).

Now i'm not sure but i think at this very moment my lucidity starts to fade away i don't realize it .

FA 1

I "wake up", look to my side in bed and there is a person but i can only see his silhouette ... i assume is my brother but immediately after this i do the nose plug and i know i'm dreaming ... i'm so happy about it that i start pointing my finger to the person next to me and saying :
-" AH AH... i know i'm dreaming !!"
The DC get's angry and starts attacking me, i get under the blanket and try to change the dream scenario ... i think of a desert ( it stupid ... i should thought on beach ) but doesn't work ...

FA 2

I "wake up" , i'm under the blanket, i get out and i do the nose plug and i can breath through but i'm so convinced i'm awake i do it again and again and finally i can't breath through so i think i'm awake ... i look to the ground and i see a digital camera , i pick it from the floor and i wake up .

This was the second of five lucid dreams from last night/this morning.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #107: Menthol and Marriage, the Sequel

I'm helping my friend "Leroy" and his wife prepare for a huge party. For reasons unknown, Leroy sticks an ice cream cake in a heated oven, and it melts to a puddle in seconds. "No, man, don't do that!" I say, too late to be of any help.

Leroy gives me a pathetic look and asks, "Do you think it can be fixed?" Solemnly, I shake my head no.

I then have a false awakening on the floor of my master bedroom. The lights are all on and Wife has spread circuit boards and other electronic gizmos all over my side of the bed. "What's all this stuff?" I ask. "How am I supposed to get back to sleep?"

She ignores my second question. "Did you know that [son E] had all of this stuff in his room? I don't even know what he was building but I've got to figure out what it's supposed to be."

I'm super tired and very annoyed that this project is going on. "Can't we figure this out tomorrow? I'm trying to get some sleep. It's..." I look at the clock. "12:30." Wait, my WBTB was at like 3 in the morning... I realize that I'm dreaming. "Sorry, you're right. Keep looking into it. I'm going to look around outside." With that said, I phase through the external wall. I don't emerge in any particular dream scene, though, and fall immediately into the void.

I rub my hands together and probe my dream body, trying to device what exit I'm going to use. I decide that I'll call NewArtemis to pull me out and wind up at the Alamo (or wherever she happens to be.) I extend my hand, calling out twice, but there's no immediate response. This isn't alarming since it's normal for this stuff to take some time. I'm getting ready to "expect" a hand to reach out to pull me through, but before it happens...

... I have a false awakening back in my bed. It's dark now. It's an excellent replica of waking life, but somehow I'm not fooled. I look over at Wife's side of the bed and she's there, fast asleep. It's tough to discern detail in the dark, but it's obvious that she's scantily clad. Things proceed in a fairly predictable fashion and we have a couple of very fun but very private minutes of dream sex before...

... I have a false awakening back in bed. I wrongly believe that I've woken up for real. Wife rolls over to my side of the bed and hits me with a make-out style kiss. I think how cool it is that "waking life" is imitating the dream. She stops for a moment and says, "You're not kissing me the way you usually do. It feels different."

"I was just dreaming. Maybe that's what it is."

"Oh, right," she says. "This is a dream. That's what's different." She kisses me again. I find myself hoping that this is some sort of Groundhog Day scenario. Unfortunately, I wake up soon after, this time for real.

Last night, I probably had some of the strangest dreams of my life. I'm not even really sure how to put into words how ridiculous they were, but I'll try.

Now, while they were weird, they were also probably some of the best non-lucid dreams I've ever had.

Here's everything I remember (it might get confusing, but bear with me):

The first thing I remember was being with two of my sisters... and Neve Campbell. See? It's already weird. I don't remember thinking about Neve Campbell or anything before I went to sleep, but it absolutely was her in my dream. This should have been a pretty big clue that I was dreaming, because I seemed to know her pretty well personally.

Anyway, I guess my dream was creating false memories for me, because we stumbled upon this guy who was apparently a "chef" from Food Network who had a show that me and my family used to watch together. He wasn't REALLY an actual projection of a real-life chef from Food Network, but I was pretty sure that he was in my dream. In fact, I think he was Bill Murray (at least, he looked and sounded like him).

We hung out with this guy for a while, but when he wasn't around, me and my sisters (and Neve Campbell) saw a news report on TV that said that this man was actually a man who disguises himself as various people from TV and what-not, and that whoever turns him in will get a reward (or something like that). We tried looking for him, but we couldn't find him. A while later though, me and my sisters... and Neve Campbell... went to the old neighborhood that me and my sisters used to live in when we were younger, and saw a man who looked suspiciously like the Food Network impersonator guy (or Bill Murray...), living in a bright pink house with a Dora the explorer themed car (that didn't start)... he was standing in his garage talking to us (don't remember what he was saying though). Now, I know that this bright pink house wasn't really in my old neighborhood, and this man didn't really live there, but in the dream, I was pretty sure that this stuff actually happened (false memories, I guess).

The next thing I remember, me, my sisters, and Neve Campbell were sitting at a restaurant having dinner. We were all talking to each other (again, don't remember what we were saying), and all of a sudden Neve Campbell puts her hand on my thigh. Her hand felt really warm for some reason, and I remember thinking that I liked it (weird, I know).

The next dream I had felt like only a few seconds, and I wasn't even a part of it. It was Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslett (still in character from Titanic) riding in a weird train thing (it was kind of like the Mono-rail from Batman Begins, but instead of a train it looked more like a car), and Leonardo DiCaprio was yelling angrily about how the windshield wipers kept spraying lube on the windshield every 7 seconds (weird as hell, I know).

It's also weird because I couldn't see them, but I knew they were in the train... car... thing. Kate Winslett didn't say anything, but I knew she was there too. So strange.

These were some of the most entertaining dreams I've had, honestly.

Towards the morning though, I was actually able to become lucid.

It wasn't a very good lucid dream though, because I knew I was dreaming, but I felt absolutely EXHAUSTED in the dream (the sleepy kind of exhausted, not the kind of feeling you get after a workout), and I could hardly keep my eyes open, and everything seemed foggy. I was sitting at my kitchen table, rubbing my hands together furiously and I kept yelling out "INCREASE CLARITY!", and I think it helped a little, but not much.

The next thing I know, I'm waking up in my room. However, I almost immediately know that this is a false awakening, because I look at my alarm clock and notice it says "15:00" (military time isn't an option on my clock). However, I still felt very very tired and couldn't really enjoy the dream. I remember yelling out "Why the fuck am I so tired!?!?!?" in a half joking, half frustrated kind of way. I woke up for real a few seconds later.

It's weird, but maybe I actually fell asleep in the initial lucid dream because I was so tired, and that was what triggered the false awakening. Not sure, but it's possible.

Date: 13 June

Not very funny FA and LD chain

Total sleep time: 4 hrs

Comments: Tonight definitely was a bad time to go for a lucid. We had a sleep over guest and I was nervous I had to wake up the same time as our guest and no idea when that would be. I repeated the same combo as yesterday (but had different results?), did SSILD to help with sleep and induce ld. I got into a rather nasty FA chain. The resulting lucidity was not to be envied either.

Pre bed: Gingko

WBTB: I was woken up, had 1/2 RB about half an hour later. Trouble falling asleep.

Fragment: A DC that looks like my father shows aggressive attitude

FA1: I am in bed and guest is knocking on the door, saying he is leaving now. I hear him and partially see him, but I also see some other layer with my reflection on it. I decide that I am dreaming the second layer, while he is trying awake me irl. I tell him to leave me alone and come back later because I am just either lucid or missing a FA.

FA2: I am in bed, and there is trash, food leftovers and other stuff on the bedsheets. I find it a bit strange but swipe it aside and continue sleeping.

FA3: I wake up and go to the toilet. I look myself in the mirror. I look terrible, my face is swollen. I think "What have I done, this is probably because of the supps/RB". As if that isn't enough, I feel a very strong pressure in my head. Ahhhh

FA4 and DILD: I wake up and go to pee. Some nonexistent pipe breaks down and starts rhythmically pumping out water. I think this is too bad to be real life, and question the nature of reality. The pipe keeps pumping water, flooding the place, so I run into the room where our guest is sleeping to ask for help. He comes in the bathroom but it is not him at all, but a strange looking DC that has something not very human in his posture? I finally conclude that this can only be a dream. I go to the corridor, the strange DC next to me and an older lady. The dream gets distorted, images from other places appear in my mind, while I am thinking of an efficient way to leave our place. The dream disintegrates.

DILD2: I renter some place but the DCs there keep getting in my way so I cannot go as I would like to. the dream fades

DILD3: I am in another apartment, a geeky looking DC is trying to get my attention. I don't want to be here. I notice a large cupboard and am tempted to try passing through it. I am mostly wondering if I will be able to overcome the solidity and also see what will happen once I get in there. The cupboard is initially solid, but I push myself forward and it suddenly swallows me into the darkness with a strange gulp like sound. There is something very watery to that ex cupboard space, and I feel as if I am underwater. Very interesting, I think to myself. I swim forward ending in the void, the underwater sensations fading away. Back to my physical body, I may have even moved my real hands a bit while in the void.

DILD4: Another dream starts and I am in an apartment again. A number of daring DCs are here as well. I try to go on my way, but this DC woman gets in front of me holding a bread knife. I notice that we are in the kitchen, and try to make her engage in slicing the bread that is there, instead of behaving menacingly. I meet resistance and am unable to control her much. I am adjusting my mood as not to expect her to do anything to me, trying to be as non-reactionary as possible. She has the knife in one hand and gets a cleaver in the other. I struggle with her hand, also attempting to grab the knife from time to time, while being careful not to cut myself. I know this is dream and I don't care so much, but I am annoyed that things aren't going my way. There is someone else pushing me, causing me discomfort and mild pain. I move away a bit, feeling exhausted and desperate.

Since the dream is going nowhere, I allow the DC woman to get me, but now she has other intentions. I organize a pleasurable indecent scene and wake up shortly after.

I wake up and go to the restroom and check out my reflection in the mirror. I look terrible. I RC. Tired, nervous and annoyed I consider if I want to go back to sleep. Shortly journal, then try to fall asleep but it is too late.

This nightmare approximates to official count of 2 Lds? and 2 micro lds.

---------------------------------
Date: 14 June

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Sleep quality and recall: Deep restorative sleep, below average recall

Pre bed: Gingko

Bedtime dreamlet: There is a discussion about the advantages of living in China vs living in France. It seems that living in China is much better. I am entering China, zooming in trying to determine my location. Very hard to describe I see the land and plants as if I am on the ground yet it is in the shape of the map of China. There are blackberries that represent each city in China, and are very close together which means very crowded.

I realize that I am falling asleep and pull back from the dream, trying to commit it to memory.

WBTB: very tired after yesterday's lack of sleep, so I just couldn't do it

Dream1: I am on the street and there is a house to my left. Xanous comes from there. We talk about something. A friend of mine comes, I can't remember now if Xanous knows him.

Xanous is now gone somewhere. Me and my friend are trying to have a shared dream via DV but actually don't know that we are having a shared dream with each other. What are the odds? I tell this realization to my friend and we are happy. He invites me to his place where I have been in dreams. I check out the furniture. He leads me through the corridor, but I insist on having a look at the bedroom. There is a sliding door, double bed with white bed sheets, and a wardrobe with a mirror to the left.

Fragment2: My class meets again, this time boys only. I don't know why I am here and they behave like idiots. I look at them and have a strange feeling that something is not quite right here (as in this is a dream!) but continue being involved in the scene.

Progress with goals as the 14th morning:

- Do 100 RCs (15/100) *
- notice real life DS 100 times and RC (17/100)
- 10 proper WBTB attempts -> days (6/10)
- 10 morning RCs (3/10)
- 2 proper WILD attempts (0/2)
- task flexibility
- journal flexibility

*I am also practicing some ADA, so it is not as bad as it seems, although I need to increase the RCs

LDs: 12 (official count)
micro-lds: 4 (not counted)
suspicious events: 2 (not counted)

Waking up thinkin wow.

1. [non-lucid]
Was in some sort of lab (its small,clean looking and white), theres an AI built into the building. There are these coloured spherical buttons (red, green, blue) on a white dashboard, they are controlled by the scientists and the AI gives the buttons a purpose. Something goes wrong, the AI somehow became self aware and she killed some scientists using the buttons (not GlaDOS). Theres more but its fuzzy.

2. [non-lucid][false awakening]
I dreamed I woke up to my leg hurting two times, then actually woke up to my leg hurting.

3.
I forgot unfortunatly.

Bedtime: 11:45
WBTB: 5:30
Bedtime snack: cinnamon & sugar rice pudding
Aids: None
Recall: Very Low
Vividness: Low
Awesome factor: Medium

Dream (fragment): I checked my the DreamZ app (was inspired to start using it again IWL) upon waking up, and it listed symbols I had dreamed of. One of them was a bunch of grapes (I had to find grapes in a scene in Gardens of Time right before bed IWL).

Key emotion: excitement

My recall continues to be dismal. I'm starting to think that maybe the vividness and recall I enjoyed early this month was caused by SSRI withdrawal.

On a more positive note, a lot of the fragments I recall are false awakenings. Guess the SSILD is working its magic.