lucid

Attempt #2 -- long, vivid, stable, super high res, "more real than waking," epic LD.



Wow. Wow wow wow. 4mg galantamine and 600mg Alpha GPC taken at the 3hrs waking....led to a WILD (in every sense of the world) lucid romp through FAs, more vivid than waking, ultra-stable, high-res, super-realistic, multi-scene, long LD (felt like an hour, definitely 30 minutes or more), and follow-on vivid non-lucids in later sleep cycles. This is the 2nd time I've tried it this year (the first being Nov 2, about 3 weeks ago).
After taking the supps, it took me somewhere around 30-60 minutes to fall asleep again. I spent the time relaxing body and mind with the idea of falling asleep unconsciously and having a DILD in subsequent sleep cycles. I took it early because of past issues with falling back asleep and I wanted to make sure I fell asleep again quickly after taking the supps. Instead, after that timeframe mentioned, I felt the familiar deepening feeling of sleep, and then WHAM! I was hit with a wave of vibrations the like of which I've never experienced before. I'm not unfamiliar with REM atonia sensations, I've felt vibrations many times before. But these were massive, strong, and accompanied by a sensation like my heart was stopping. I even sort of (maybe in a dream) half-raised up in bed to shake off the vibrations because they were so unpleasant. But I lay back down, they continued for a bit, then subsided, and I tried to imagine entering a scene. I detected slight movement in the visual field, and I tried to imagine a scene on a vehicle, and I shortly appeared in a bus or train moving past a moving landscape. It faded in a few seconds and I thought "wow that sucks, all that time and such a short dream", ... and then woke in a FA on a bus non-lucid, and the dream continued non-lucid for a while, then after failing to fly, I did a nose pinch state test, and got fully lucid, and began the lucid adventure!

Dream contents, and following non-lucids TBD (20 minutes of voice recording recall, it's going to take 2 hours to transcribe!)

+ LUCIDD #274 after WILD entry (noted above), I feel myself awake lying on a seat on a bus. I feel that I'm pressing up against a person seated to the left of me. I sit up and I'm seated in the 2nd row on the right side of a traditional bus layout against the window. There are sections of a newspaper around me, looks like a Sunday paper, there are colorful sections including a comics section, I move them section by section to the now empty left side of the seat. I create quite a tall pile of these papers, trying to keep them in order (I wonder if this is the newspaper of the two guys sitting in front of me?). My group (2-3 people, including [1st] wife?) get up and it's time for us to get off, I stand up and try to shoulder a backpack, it's heavy with lumpy objects making it uncomfortable on the back, as I stand up some cards/papers fall out and I see that they are very important family sentimental papers, like kid's birthday cards to me, I'm concerned that if I get off the bus I will lose some of them. I pick them up and as I move past the 1st row or seats on the right a guy seated there says "that's what you get for having kids." I respond "just wait, it'll be your turn soon." We get off the bus.

Sort of a vague scene with a woman and man, both of which have a cloudy left eye (like glaucoma), the idea is that they're from the moon?

With the group who got off the bus, standing near a busy urban/suburban road, I recognize this as "Stevens Creek" or Santa Clara and say so. We're then in a mall parking lot, very large, there's a car ahead, a woman and kids are moving to it, and the kids run circles around the car. The car is parked back up against a drop off of about 3 feet, I move to it and stand over it looking out over the lower level of the parking lot. I have the urge to fly/glide [DS], but I think I won't fly in this case. I decide to try anyway, and sort of launch myself off the edge, and fall directly down and hit the pavement, getting a bit scratched up on the asphalt. I stand up, and do a nose pinch, and I can breathe. I'm really astonished by this and check a few more times. Yes, I can breathe, I'm dreaming! I'm amazed, it is so vivid, clear, bright, high-res, so waking like, nothing to indicate dream in the quality of the experience.

I notice a young woman clerk entering a store ahead of me. Brunette, attractive. I move in to the store and see displays of lingerie. She is continuing to the back of the store and I follow her with the idea of getting a fashion show from her in a back dressing room. I lead her in, it is a tiny closet space just barely big enough for one person to stand in, not even move, with us there together it's incredibly crowded. I tell her I want to see her undressed. She resists and says that she can't today. I then counter that "now, it's tomorrow, so you can." I keep trying to close the curtains but can't (someone outside keeps opening them?). I give up and we leave the room, as I walk past her colleagues seated at desks I sense disapproval, and I defend myself by saying "I didn't force her, I just invited her, she came in on her own." A male colleague seated at a desk, with a bread/mustache comments "you're a real piece of work: <accusation #1, 'A">, <something about a backpack>, <some third thing>". I feel these are unfustified charges and a bit confused by them, I'm trying to determine if accusation #1 is true or not, I think not. I didn't understand about the backpack, I asked to repeat that, he repeated again something about a backpack (with the idea of murder?), and says "this information comes straight from heaven." I look at him for a second then leave the store.

I enter the neighboring store, it is a small front office, with the sign "Steak and (soda?)" on the wall and a door to enter further inside, I don't want steak so I leave again.

I enter the next store, it is a Vietnamese/Asian (massage? beauty salon?), it is packed with people, mostly young pretty Asian women, some plain, (dressed in white?), I think there is a beauty/modeling contest going on here today. I'm looking at their faces, most have brown eyes. I try to enter deeper into the store through the crowd, but a manager blocks the entrance saying no one can go in. I turn back to the entrance and try to push my way out through the crowd, there's a petite woman in jeans in front of me and I give her a push on her butt to clear a space to leave, she doesn't complain just moves forwards. A security guy blocks the door and says there's no access out that way, I ignore him and leave saying my car is parked right outside. Outside, I don't see my car, I'm looking around for it. A bit farther away I see a car that may have once been mine but has been heavily modified, I hear a group of young guys sniggering behind me, I turn and look at them, I think they probably pranked me by transforming my car and moving it to a new parking spot.

I move back into the open area of the parking lot, between a couple of taller buildings to the left and right, 3-4 stories, past a group of young men who are hanging out talking. I look at their faces, some are slightly distorted, they ignore me. I decide to fly, try a quick superman take-off, it doesn't work. The dream is super vivid and waking realistic and stable the entire time. I try a frog swim and gain a bit of altitude, but it's slow going.

I fly past (on my right) a restaurant lounge, with a sign that reads "Beef Wellerman", and I see through the glass walls [DS] that inside are people wrapped in human-side "blankets" made of giant cooked steaks, all throughout the restaurant, 10-20 people wrapped in beef blankets.

I wake in my bed, it's dark, I'm lying on my left side (the side I went to sleep on after taking the galantamine), I suspect a FA, nose pinch, I can breathe, I'm still dreaming. I stand up quickly, throwing off the covers. I get a glimpse of my [1st?] wife lying in bed on my right, I immediately turn towards the window, which is closed by curtains. I see on the floor a pair of eyeglasses, and wonder if these are mine. I pick them up. They have a bright thing brass wire frame and on the right earpiece is a 2-inch length in the shape of a corkscrew. I think these are not mine. I part open the curtains with two hands and look at the window: it is made up of small (6 inch by 8 inch rectangular) blocks of glass held by thin, 1-inch wide strips of dark brown painted wood. The windows are locked with padlocks. I want to go out and so I pull open the left pane, it opens, and I look outside into an open courtyard, like a motel swimming pool courtyard. There are people there, a group of kids. I go down and interact with the people there. A mother there offers to bring another of her kids to me, one that can generate cinnamon (bread?) if you touch her in a certain way. I do this (wanting the cinnamon), and wake up slightly in bed doing that movement. A nose pinch shows
I'm awake.

Several vivid non-lucids follow, will record later.

False awakening

On an airplane. I look out the window and I am high in the sky. I decide I must have fallen asleep before takeoff. My mom is there.

Some dialogue.

I’m in cockpit view now but I'm not the pilot. The plane keeps going up.

I’m above the cockpit now outside of the plane. Think video game.

The plane is not flying right. It goes straight up and down then stalls out.

Now it's tumbling toward the ground. I sincerely believe I am about to die.

Another FA except I know its a dream but its a low level of lucidity as I am still invested in the previous scene.

I decide to rebuild the plane so it can fly correctly. Its still a video game view and the parts of the plane are very much like Terratech.

My son is with me discussing how to do it (we have been playing a lot of Terrtech together in waking life).

The wing pieces don’t look right and my son keeps making suggestions. Annoyed, I finally say, "Look we can just pretend it will work and it will work (knowing its a dream).
It doesn't have to look right."
]
I wake up.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

With Nighthawk, somewhere with other people around. Looks like an office as we are sitting in office chairs with wheels, but also feels like a café as people are just chilling in nearby tables. He is talking about something and I want to get closer to him, so I give an impulse to my chair to slowly roll to his side. But I pull it a bit too strongly and I roll too fast and bump into him. As a result I grab his legs and put my hands too close to his crotch and his reaction is to flinch and push himself back. I say sorry and he asks if I did it on purpose and I honestly can't tell. I feel like it was both accidental and intentional to a certain extent. I am also upset that he reacted that way but I guess it is to do with being in a public place with other people, so I don't insist and we just continue a normal conversation.

At my parent's house but the house looks totally different from what it really was. My bedroom is normal but it is attached to some shed that has the roof cracking in the middle and we are all waiting for the moment it falls apart and trying to keep everyone in safety. But when it falls apart, the roof in my bedroom also falls apart and then half of my parent's room also goes down. We are tryig to take it calmly and make plans to cover it all with plastics until we get the reconstruction done, but my father starts calculating the costs and it is despairing. Anyway, we adapt to living like this. But for no good reason I now have to shower in my room, as the shower head is right above my bed. So I wet my bed completely. My mom suggests I wash quickly to reduce the amount of water soaking the bed and I wonder how I am going to sleep on it later as it won't dry until then. Then I remember we have a second bathroom with a shower that wasn't affected and wonder why we ain't using it. Then I become aware that I am dreaming and I teleport involuntarily to a street in a city with very modern architecture mixed with old palaces at an ocean front. I want to see the place but then I notice how long the street is and I don't want to walk it all the way, so I lift off to see it from above. I see this shore line to my left, another to my right and some more in front but far away. I dive in the water just for fun and wonder what to do with my lucidity as I don't have anything prepared. All that occurs to me is to summon Buddha Tara. All I get instead is a red or pink tide on the water, as if something is gathering to form a shape, but it never does. I focus harder on any Buddha to appear and one starts forming and getting out of the water. It is actually a white porcelain figure, looking much more like Budai, not any Buddha. Not very fat but a little chubby and with thin green lines making beautiful designs all over its "skin". It is human sized and I touch it to see if it is a statue or a living being. I am still in the water and he has risen above it, but I manage to touch its arms and legs and I am surprised that it feels like porcelain but also like a peachy skin at the same time and it is warm. It feels so pleasurable to the touch that I continue caressing it, I reach for the neck and chest. The statue then comes to life and scolds me for touching him inappropriately. He gets mad and summons guardians from the water. I start feeling threathened by the figures that start emerging and grabbing me. There is a floating platform nearby and I get up on it. A strong current forms and drags it, but I allow myself to go with the flow. Then I hit the shore and some monks appear requesting me to come along. I ask what is it and they say some Rinpoche requires my presence. I hope it's what I am expecting but deep down I feel that it is not. I follow them anyway and they take me to a house. We pass through a room where some monks or lamas are sitting watching tv and they take me to a bedroom in the back. I feel uncomfortable when all I see is a bed and a lama I don't know in a poorly lit room. But then I see there is a young lady laying down on the bed, I feel like she is his companion. I ask what is it they need me for. And he explains she can't sleep for a week or so and she is going mad and they are desperate. I ask if we can talk and he asks her to come forward and listen to me. At first she looks angry and uncooperative. I don't know what she expects from me, but I start by telling her about a friend I have that also couldn't sleep for a week and it was because of anxiety he wasn't even aware of. And suddenly her face changes and she is interested. I ask if there is anything in her life, past or future, that could be the source of anxiety. Something that happened and she can't let go thinking about it or something that is going to happen and she is consumed in fear or doubts about it. Slowly she admits it may be fhe latter. She is studying something and she is going to do an exam for which she feels totally unprepared and she thought she wasn't worrying at all, but now she sees she just wasn't aware of how the concern was consuming her. I give advice on how to let go and examples of how my friend managed to let go and she seems definitely calmer.

LD #273 last night, 3 weeks since last LD. That's a lot better than the 2 months since the prior one!

I've begun in earnest the Four Foundational Practices as taught in the new 2022 edition of The Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep. Frequently all throughout the day I "wake myself from the dream of distraction," increase clarity and presence, and (1) recognize the dream-like nature of all experience, and (2) reaction to experience, trying as best I can to make this recognition right when the experience/reaction arises. Before bed I (3) review the day, giving another chance to realize the dream-like nature of experience, for those that I may have missed during the day, and set strong intent for recalling dreams and having lucid dreams. (4) in the morning I review the dreams of the night, and if not lucid, recognize that I did dream, but did not recognize the dream as dream while within it, and set intent to notice (get lucid) in future dreams, and set strong intent to continue the practice throughout the day.

I'm also dabbling a bit in the beginnings of the night practices, placing awareness in the throat chakra of the central channel, promoting strong peacefulness.

earliest:
+ I'm putting on a pair of keds, white with a red swoop stripe, lower, flat sole, and the socks are very very low, just to the level of the top of the shoe, I'm wondering if these are good for running even though they are flat soled

mid:
+ gym loading a bar with two red 5kg weights

+ big long dream multiple scenes and FORGOT. Delved and Delved and Delved but just couldn't get it back. Sucks because I spent a lot of time reviewing it during the waking in order to burn it into memory. Lesson: RECORD KEYWORDS DURING WAKINGS!

later:

+ TV park playing ball game over fence far low corner, throws back squash ball but too big heavy for squash, turns into a large (baseball sized) blueberry, I take a bite and see the purple/green color inside, then talking with two other groups about competing access to cook Thanksgiving turkeys there in the cooker on that level, only one can cook at a time, walk to mid level and join a group at a table, this is the table where the pelple have come to avoid those from the other group, in front of a young woman I see my pack of SF Cable car playing cards, I gather them up and take them back to the lower level. Back on the mid-level a group of kids are playing a prank on their friend: they're soaking his mask in Visine. I wonder if this will hurt the eyes of the pranked guy when he puts this on.

+ outdoors, (in vicinity of CH?) narrow roads packed with parked cars, some large/long trucks have driven there and are trying to back up out of there. It's hard because the streets are so narrow. I'm standing then at an intersection with the street running from my right and turning the corner to the right in front of me, about a 110 - degree turn. The truck is backing up pretty quickly, there's a git in a pickup truck sitting right at the corner, as the large truck backs up around the corner, I hear a small sound of impact. After the truck passes I move to stand in the intersection looking at the pickup truck and I see that it has lost its front passenger side external side view mirror, the truck must have clipped it when it passed. The driver of the pickup is there hovering around his truck (don't really see him)?

(I see on the left side of the intersection my dog F and wife L? Tell them to look out for the truck?)

(Walk down the street and turn to the left?), then I'm indoors with son S1, we're walking through musem-like displays, it's low lighting, there are large paintings/posters of attractive women (in punk rock outfits?), (then this transitions to...), I'm remembering a show in New Orleans?

+ LD flying over ocean coast, taco shack
I'm standing in a (musem?) room looking at a (painting/window?) over an outdoor scene and I decide to fly through the window/wall into the scene and it works, I'm flying, and I repeat with exhilaration "I'm DREAMING! I'M DREAMING!", so happy to be lucid again. I'm fairly high (50 -100 feet) above the ground flying along an uneven colorful coastline that bends to the right (water on the left), at first the scene is clear but cartoony, then it sort of restarts and I see the water and it is bright, sunlit, green, and totally crisply vivid and waking realistic. I'm ecstatic at the beautiful view and so happy to be flying again in a dream. I look ahead over the land and notice a small building/shack, I decide this is a taco restaurant and I fly towards it and land in front of it. I try to enter but the entrance has shrunk in size and is like turning the pages of a book like curtains, I keep turning them but can't get a clear entrance. I announce "OK, then, just give me tacos!" and instantly I see a plate of two large hard-shell tacos in front of me, with a good portion of a brown taco meat mixture. I take them to a neighboring round table and sit at about 5 o'clock near the wall of the taco shack, and begin to eat. They are crunch and delicious. The waitress comes by and says "it's lucky for you that you knew to ask for the 2-taco cola special," and I'm sort of amazed because I didn't know about any such thing. Some more plates of tacos appear but they are sort of abstract looking. I see that some people, a young woman, and maybe another young woman, have joined me across the table, sitting at about 12-o'clock and 9-o' clock. I think this must mean that it's a public table open to anybody. As I eat the tacos and feel the crunchiness in my mouth, the scene fades...

...and I reappear at the table, but non-lucid. The table is now fully packed with young college students all around, and we're chatting about where's the best tacos, this place being a good one. (I think I'm in Austin?)

deleted

I dream I am at work sourcing many assemblies. C is there asking me to work all night and all weekend and says they will pay me for two weekends. I say no way. I am tired. I get really sleepy and fall asleep at the desk.
I wake in the source room. There is a bed. S and L are there. I am somehow using S bed but I also associate it as her desk. I feel awkward about it. S and L are talking to me like no big deal. I feel so sleepy still but make myself sit up. I tell them I need to just go home.

*Partially awake*

Watching some version of Star Wars. It looks extra high defection. I think this is odd. Then it goes to a scene with an obvious green-screen background.

*partially awake* Thinking about how odd is was that portion of a dream could be so HI-DEF. Reminds me of some conversations on DV about that. Lucid dreaming....

I am walking into some sort of public restroom with some guy and woman. I see a full body mirror. I am still thinking of lucid dreaming. I practice some visual awareness and remind myself how wierd mirrors and get in dreams. At that moment everything is the mirror get all wavy and out of focus. I become fully lucid.

I become very happy and excited. I turn and see the woman. She is not all attractive. I don't know who she is. I ask her what we are doing. I say LUCID DREAMING!. She doesn't talk. I knew I had a goal but cant remember. For some reason I slap one of her boobs. Then that starts something but I quickly push her away. I say I don't want to waste dream time with this. She says something about how she wants me so bad but I tune her out and walk away saying, NOOOOOPPE!

I am walking down a hallway. I see a boy with harry potter looking glasses. I rub my hands together to increase vividness. The dream is pretty solid but I want to maintain. I pat the boy on the cheeks and say "hey buddy" he doesn't respond so I move on. I take in the detail of the dream. Very vivid still. The hallway has such bright red carpet with gold trim running down the hallway. I continue walking.

The hallway morphs into an outdoor courtyard. I see a girl walking toward me. I'm not particularly interested but then I notice a flutter. When I focus on her she has morphed into at bright red bird. She flies to a ledge on the adjacent building. I call out to the about about the girl that became a bird but he's not around. It's dark now but I ignore that. I call out to the girl/bird and ask her to come back. She ignores me. I try to fly up to her but I quickly fall down and land on my face. I laugh at that. No pain. I can't see the bird now and the dream is becoming very unstable. There is a sign on the building like a black twitter symbol. I call out again. I see a brown sparrow fly away with some grass in its beak. I think this is her but the dream is crashing and going black. I decide to let it go and wake up so that I will remember the dream.

Woke up in my living room and thought it was strange that I could remember myself not too long ago being somewhere else. I immediately began suspecting that I was dreaming. I decided to do a few reality checks such as pushing my finger through my palms and holding my nose to see if I could still breathe through it. Which to my surprise they all failed to work correctly. I still had this dreamy feeling in my gut and decided to not believe the reality checks.

I then look at my bed and saw a blue card magically appeared on top of it and this made me begin questioning things even more. I look to a near by wall and decided to attempt to phase through it while convincing myself this has to be a dream. I phase through the wall and became lucid. I was outside beginning to fall from the 3rd floor apartment complex. I told myself I am going to fly and began slowly starting to ascend during my descent. Only for it last momentarily before again falling harder to the concrete sidewalk.

I got up and observed the area and was disappointed that I still couldn't fly. I began walking towards people and could see that the scenery was spring-like with a very sunny atmosphere. I woke up soon after.

I just started my LD training again after a long break and literally got a Lucid on Night 1. Not only that, but I made decent progress.

"Day in the Park"

I was having some internal dialogue with myself and then I was thing about my homie the other day had something in his smoothie that did not make sense like a rock or something. I became lucid in the most chill way, like, "Heh, yeah, sure dream, sure."

I stayed calm and put my training to use. I walked through a park that children were playing through. I touched this blue plastic surface that had spider webs on it. In order to help with stability, I was narrating my every action and it was working! Unfortunately, I got distracted.

I was thinking about how I was in a dream and how dream spiders could be super scary which kinda stopped me from touching the object. The dream ended shortly after because my monologuing stop too.

I also started with touch. Ideally I'd like to start with sight, then sound, then touch, lol.

Overall, I'm really happy with that dream. That was such good progress, and if I can continue the grind, it will only get easier from here. I stayed calm and began stabilizing the dream. Perhaps it would have ended soon regardless of if I got distracted, but I like to think that if i maintained my focus through the whole cycle, I could have successfully stabilized. I remember when I couldn't stabilize a dream.

Gotta remember to take a deep breath, start with sight, and definitely do more focus meditation.


Additionally, I've been thinking about just how many of the 928 days since starting my most recent DJ I've been really giving LD practice my all, and at most, about 33% of it.
about 8% of THAT was actually lucid; 31 Lucids / 347 dreams recorded. 31/928 total days. Lucid dreaming, like any skill, requires consistency. My adhd makes this difficult. I will really try this time, however. I've been diagnosed and prescribed, though my Adderall is still on delay so no medication yet. Hopefully I can hold out until it arrives though. I can't use it before sleep since it makes you too awake, so unfortunately i'll be on my own in a dream either way. That's why the meditation will still be useful.

Lucid dreaming was one of my hyper fixations, and that allowed me to focus a little bit more on it than other skills. However, as my ADHD gets more severe and depression takes a bigger toll on my life, I've found it hard to continue, much less be consistent. However, even the uneventful Lucid dreams I have bring me great joy, so that also helps fuel me to seeing this to mastery.

So, this is why, despite "5 years of trying", despite knowing so much about how to induce lucid dreams and what lucid dreaming practice entails, I have little to no actual experience in the dream world; A lack of consistent, high effort LD training and day time practice.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I get lucid while at some old building and I admire the intricate details of it and feel the textures of wood and other materials. I feel like this place is absolutely identical to some place I have been in RL, but in actual fact I don't recall any instance where I have been at this building, at least not in this life. I walk into a large balcony, don't know what to do next, so I just observe and think about it a bit more. Then I see a beautiful tree with pink flowers and I feel like making rain such beautiful flowers from the sky. But instead, I just make it rain, normal water. Then I float down to the open ground below and I get surrounded by people of different african tribes coming out of nowhere. They seem startled by something. At first I think it is of my powers, but then a couple white ladies erupt through the crowd and they come dragging a tiger which apparently is unconscious. That seems to be what was making everybody nervous. Unexpectedly, the tiger regains consciousness and everyone runs in panic. I run to the tree. Then I remember tigers can also climb trees. As I struggle to hop on the lowest tree branches, and not exactly suceeding, I feel the tiger behind me and that dreadful feeling that I am about to die. Then I remember I am just dreaming and I can do anything. So the tiger becomes a beautiful lady, completely naked and a bit feral, but harmless. She does climb the tree and I manage to join her in a flat area between tree branches which makes a very solid platform. I get aroused by her simple beauty. I touch her and she likes it. I kiss her and give her pleasure. Then she retributes.

I am on a college campus. It doesn't seem similar enough to mine specifically, but vaugely feels like it. I am chasing some kind of cyborg who has stolen information. This isn't a serious situation, its some kind of ARG. I have another dream character with me who is trying to help me with the chase but he is so unfit that he is unable to be much help. I keep telling him to run a different direction and head off the person were chasing but he stops being completely out of breath.

I continue the chase on my own. As I move I notice just how agile and floaty I am. I am no longer running, but kicking off walls and ceilings and hurling through the air like I'm in zero gee. The chase follows outside and into a large parking lot, then into the university library. I think I have him cornered but instead arrive in a room of random students studying. Its awkward so I quietly apologize and leave. I go back out in the parking lot and let myself float down.

Then I say to myself something dumb along the lines of "I know I've been dreaming for awhile. Maybe it's time I become lucid."

I then properly remember my dream goal. I decide to summon Manei, knowing that will help boost my odds of success.

"Hey, dream. I want to see manei, Right now please."

A classroom bell chimes and a whole bunch of college students come out in a big mass. I am able to spot her in the middle and get her attention.

"Hey, hey Manei. Did you... make friends with the whole class?"

"Yes!" She shouts excitedly. "The people here are so friendly!"

"That's great. Hey I-"

Very abrupt awakening.

-+-

My dad wants to visit his new church and it saking me with him. He says he doesn't want to influence my spiritual beliefs but that I do have to wear a uniform to go inside while he does his business in it and hands me a red shirt with a starfleet logo on it. He then explains that this is the church of Startrekism and they are rivals to the church of Jediism. It is a small and unassuming building on the outside but on the inside its a massive mall food court type location with a huge model of the Enterprise (I don't know which version) on a rotating stand. Its about the size of a large car.

He goes off and leaves me to hang out there. Everyone is wearing star trek clothing and some people look like aliens with pointy ears and stuff. I ask the guy at the counter what he has to eat and he acts like a robot. I see in one serving tray there is a double chocolate muffin. I ask for it but the guy is busy with another customer. I am mildly frustrated that he started attending to another customer before getting me the only item I wanted. I then become Lucid of the dream state. My father comes back, and tells me that lucid dreaming is borgonistic (which is the church of startrekism's way of saying something is satanist) and that I shouldn't do it. I decide that this will only lead to the dream becoming a pointless battle and decide to escape.

"Dream, take me to a new reality."

Bad choice of words.

Created Sunday 16 October 2022

Had a fun LD this morning.

Scrap Group 1
Something about being in an electronics store.

At home during dusk. It occurred to me I was very late to work. I got super upset.

Dream 1 - Atomic Apartment Fight LD

The visuals were a bit dim. I was riding around in urban streets, brick apartments on each side, downtown office towers at the horizon of a dusk sky. Both my brothers were there, as was possibly another familiar person. Soon, I noticed some interesting clouds in the distance, numerous and swirling with many faded colors. This sight almost makes me aware. As a reality test, I talk nonsense about taking images to 3D print them out into reality. One of my bros responds with more inanity, affirming the dream state.

Anyway, I waited for the vehicle to stop. As soon as it did, I ran to the nearest apartment building. I went through dark hallways, and up a series of likewise poorly lit stairs. I then made it into a concrete hallway, the dusk's light peeking in from an un-walled opening in the distance. As I made my way there, a menacing battle theme began playing. I stop, darting around warily.

Just then, I spot movement in the darkness. The shadow drew close enough to be discerned. This was a huge cockroach, easily the size of a Labrador. I poised myself for a fight, while having the dream sound the battle theme from Breath of Fire 3 for added atmosphere. Taking the initiative, I fired atomic rays of faint green-yellow color, dangerous enough to harm living things without risk of accidentally starting a fire. I aimed carefully, but the creature darted around too erratically to easily hit. It zipped all around the walls and ceiling, losing no momentum as it approached. The giant insect got too close for comfort. The thought of it jumping on my face filled me with dread. Desperately, I swiped around, until finally, the beam struck true. I put more force behind the blast, pinning it down. That monster flailed in pain, until finally, it was reduced into a smoldered husk. A triumphant fanfare (the victory theme from the above-mentioned game) sounded. For extra flair, I levitated the desiccated corpse above and behind me, where I had it burst into dazzling sparks as I posed dramatically. Stylish!

With that settled, I continue onward. Now, a remixed version of Magma Man's theme from Megaman 9 was playing. Anyway, I was rounding the corner, when another figure interposed. This was some skinny, mohawked shirtless punk, and he didn't seem too happy. The scoundrel, unsurprisingly, charges right at me. I evade his swipes, then retaliate with an energy-enhanced upward palm strike. This attack KO's him instantly.

I finally arrive outside. Now, I see I'm atop a narrow concrete wall, barely enough width to make a walkway. Below me was a yard, which the wall fenced, as well as a few empty lots. This path lead to another part of the building. So, continue I following along. But, soon enough, more assailants appeared. Most of these just seemed like gangly, wimpy teens. That they were so overconfident and aggressive seemed contrived even at this moment. Anyway, as each approached, I deflected their attacks with tiresome ease, and took them out one by one with single super-powered taps. One of these kids ended up tumbling over. Whoops. Oh well...

I eventually made it to the third corner, where some other simpering punk tried their hand. But, when I countered, the walls suddenly began toppling over. Did I overdo it? I clung for dear life as the platforms crumbled around me. When I come to, I'm knee deep in concrete rubble. I brush myself off, and look for another way up.

There was now a worried crowd gathered in these lots. No doubt local residents evacuating their homes. I spotted a young mother (light skinned, dark hair) with a crying baby in her arms. Feeling guilty about causing this mess, I thought the least I could do was calm the child down. So, I projected relaxing rays to sooth them. In an instant, the baby went to placid sleep. Felt pretty good resolving part of this dream without violence. But, comforting or not, it'd only just occurred to me then that atomic radiation was probably not the safest means to do this...

I then started feelings my real-life eyes opening up. Try as I might, I couldn't stop that from happening. I woke up promptly.

Scrap Group 2
Spectator mode. Scene of people waiting for a plane to take off. There's an announcement that there will be delays.

I been having some weird dreams. I don't remember all of them. But last night er this morning. I was having this game, it was like late October at least. My Mom was on the phone and she was saying my "name" and something about "baby-sitting" and then she got off the phone and said to me that she got me some "baby-sitting jobs" and then I said "You know i have no baby-sitting training" and then she mentions one of them was on "New Year's Eve" and at night. Then I said "But then how would I be able to celebrate the New Year if I'm baby-sitting in a stranger's house?" Mom said "We will sort something else." And then the dream went to one of the two nights I was supposedly baby-sitting and I'm not sure exactly how it went, and the house on the inside, kind of looked like a cross between my old baby sitter's house from when she lived next to us (a very, long time ago), and a toy kitchen from schoolmate's family's former house- was yelling at me for "not being a good baby-sitter" or something like I don't know, it was like the audio was off? And was on the phone with someone else


And I'm not sure if the dream changed or not but the next thing I know, I'm kind of in 3rd person watching two elementary school girls at first waiting for a bus (home?)- I think now, one of them might have been a child Mom "had me baby sit" and the other was the child's friend. The bus was so late getting there and so they decided to walk home. And somehow they came across this house (I don't remember what it looked like, maybe something like a dollhouse?) and it had a fence around the side and for some reason the girls somehow got over the fence, and in the backyard they found this little round rable in the backyard and it had cup and tea pot which looked like they could have come from 1991 Beauty and the Beast movie. I think they pretend play "tea" and at the same time like they know that despite the fact the tea pot, plates and teacup were not moving, they knew they're alive? And somewhere in their pretend playing they break a pinkish or a purplish? plate and I mean really broke it. And then they flee the scene. Then I'm not sure if it's the next day, or awhile later (I think the former) they couldn't stay away from the "Real-Life Dollhouse" and went back over the fence (with some glue) and fixed the plate (which they thought couldn't be fix) and then the stuff came to life (just without faces), and everything stopped when adults showed up saying "They're concerned about them" and I woke up after that

10.11.2022
4:00 PM

My Gals WILD

I am half asleep during a nap and I realize I might be able to inter a dream. I feel like my eyes are closed and don't want to accidentally open my real eyes so I pull my eyelids open with my dream fingers and see a dark hallway.

I am in my childhood home like I am at the start of most of my lucids even though I haven't lived there in a long time. I walk into the family room and see my girlfriend is laying on the couch! I decide to try summoning Juliana too so I reach my hand back behind me and feel her hand. I pull her forward and get a glimpse of Juliana before I get to excited and wake up.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I meet Margot Robbie and a boyfriend of hers and we are spending some time together, fooling around. They take some new drug and are super chill, I feel like we might even get involved in a threesome based on their energy. But then they start going psychotic and insisting I also take the drug, which I don't want to. When I threathen to leave they become incredibly possessive, especially the guy, who starts chasing me with a needle to drug me by force. Margot is less psycho and realizes he is being too agressive, so she stops him. I then put away a box of needles and other sewing materials that I had been using for some craft and say calmly that I am leaving, while Margot kicks the guy down to calm him down.
Then I am sitting at some venue listening to Zilla and some other people in a round table. Zilla has a nip slip and I can tell that some lady by her side has a crush on her and is aroused by it. Zilla also notices and she kinda forcefully mentions she is a recent mom with her partner, just to cut any expectations on her side.
Then I am at my mom's, with some friends after the conference and for some reason Bill and Hillary Clinton are part of the guests. During the conference I was hurt by some idiot who lashed out on me. He came up with his conspiracy theories against the message of global unity and when I came to reason with him, he lashed out on me. I guess the Clinton's had appreciated my intervention and that's why we are hanging out. I am lying on the sofa and Hillary is really nice to me, treating me while I joke about her role in the conspiracies. But she's so down to earth, she laughs with me and I feel like we are becoming friends. Then I think to myself nobody is going to believe I am buddy with Hillary Clinton and that's when I realize that's because it's a damn dream. I become lucid and the dream becomes more vivid and stable and I notice that she doesn't fade like other DCs, she is actually more clear and defined in front of me. So I tell her we are dreaming and if she is a real person, I would like us to meet in waking life. I get up from the sofa, I stand face to face with her and tell her my name and my country of origin so that it is very clear. She then asks for my email, because that is more guaranteed she'll reach out to me. I say she might not be able to remember that, so she grabs pen and paper. I tell her she would not be able to carry it out of the dream and she says it iss just to try to remember it better by seeing it in written and confirming with me that it is spelled correctly. So I spell it out to her and she writes it down. She almost gets it correctly, except for one extra character. I try to correct her, but I wake up.

I'll let you know if I get an email from Hillary

I'm in a tough spot mentally at the moment, and I feel like this is being reflected in my dreams. When I was a kid, sure I had problems and addictions per se, but I had hugely varied dreams and a lust for life that got me excited for every day. However, I'm 27 now and I think a series of addictions, bad habits, and compulsive behaviours have got me into a right pickle. I need some therapy and I need to get off my ass and take action, because I have a lot of cool skills and potential, and I'm wasting them. Anyway, as I said, this lifestyle is being reflected in my dreams. I would say that recently, the two core themes of my dreams are holidays and sex. Sex is an obvious one - I definitely have a sexual addiction and really need to address this. On the other side, the holiday theme is a bit more benign. Basically I started freelance writing last year, and it went way better than I thought it would. Due to the remote nature of the job, for the first time I have been able to go on "work holidays" whenever and wherever I want, and I love it. However, I definitely think this can be a coping mechanism. If I'm having a rough, depressing, and unproductive day, I'll be looking online for cheap flights and before you know it I will be escaping to Morocco or something. Obviously travel is good, but I think that I currently use it to justify my otherwise boring life, and I think this is why it appears in my dreams so much.



Anyway, my dream included a brief glimpse of being on holiday somewhere, perhaps Albania with my ex gf V on a train? (even though they don’t have trains in Albania). First part of this dream that I remember was being on a train, and V had squeezed herself into this weird slot by one of the sliding doors, almost like a magazine rack. I kind of get the impression she was avoiding me, but I squeezed myself into the same slot and we kissed.

After this, I remember being in a hotel room. Initially, I was alone – it was dark and a bit depressing, much like my flat IRL. There were two rooms – one living room and one bedroom/study. The study had a nice desk setup and I had been doing work there, but I had also sprawled my belongings and trrash all over the place. I don’t remember at what point this happened, but suddenly a girl was in the flat with me. I sort of remember the essence of her being V from earlier, but in appearance it definitely was not. She was quite petite, really hot/cute, and we exchanged oral sex. It was great, although I’m pretty sure it got cut off too early at some point (classic).