memorable

Operation Homicide - Ep. 101 Bad-Ass McCoy is a series of my dreams where I take on the character of Bad-Ass McCoy, and kick ass. Whether it be random villains or Albanian drug lords, Bad-Ass can handle it all. So get your guns ready, cock 'em, and hand 'em over, because I'm about to do all the shooting.

Level of Lucidity: 1
Level of Clarity: 4
Level of Realism: 4
(levels based 0-10, 0-5 being low - good 5-10 being great - extreme)


Operation Homicide Ep. 101: There I am. In a fancy, modern style apartment building. I'm standing in a large ground floor room, that seems to be partially a gym, and partially a recreational room. There's quite a few dream characters around me, and I seem very confident in my ability to walk from one side of the room to the other. I walk to the other side of the room, and find a doorway with a staircase behind it. I climb the stairs for about four flights, and then the stairs simply end, with a ladder and a small roof door above it that requires the climber to push it open to continue their ascent.

I pushed it open, and had a look around. It was a standard apartment roof and seemed completely normal, but I did notice that it was a very hard angle to pull myself up and onto the roof from the ladder, so I just stayed on the ladder and looked around. After a few brief moments of looking, I began to lower myself down the ladder and descend to the ground floor. When I got the the ground floor, mostly everything was the same, except for the fact that most of the walls had been replaced with large ceiling to ground windows. Similar to this, but without the window pains:



Suddenly someone walks in and starts an argument with a lady behind one of the park benches conveniently located in the middle of the room. He then turned his head and stared dead at me. I felt something in the back waistband of my pants, and quickly reached back and whipped out a pistol. The man whipped out a pistol too, and began to fire at me. Luckily he was a retard when it comes to aim, and I managed to shoot him square in the chest, I believe killing him.

After that everyone looked semi-relieved. All of a sudden two more men come busting through one of the ceiling to ground windows. They both have guns but for some reason decide to run at me instead of shooting me. I decided not to shoot them and instead turn around and begin running up the stairs. (Dream logic...)

They weren't far behind me, but as I began to run up more and more stairs, I started skipping stairs and climbing 3-4 stairs with each step. I got quite a ways ahead of them, but then I got to the ladder. I climbed up it with ease, but then had trouble pushing the latch open to finish my escape onto the roof. The enemy caught up with me and one of the men grabbed a hold on my foot.

I looked down to the guy and said "Wait a second guys, let me get up here, I don't wanna fall."

The two enemies nodded their heads and said "Okay, good point" and then let my foot go so I could safely open the latch. I then decided it best to perhaps go back downstairs and make an exit instead of jumping off of a roof. The guys understood and followed me down. The guys and I commenced to telling some jokes and laughing on the way down about the guy who I killed. By the time we reached the bottom floor I snapped back to my senses and whipped my pistol around and shot both guys, but neither died.

I ran through the window that they busted when they made their entrance and I was just out of their reach of being able to grab my shirt. I ran around the back of the building and came all the way around to the side opposite of where they busted in. There was a bench outside of the window I was running towards, and everything suddenly moved in extreme slow motion. I ran up to the bench and jumped just enough so that my left leg landed on the seat of the bench. I looked back and thought to myself "Maybe they won't know how to jump and will just trip on the bench." It made zero sense, but after seeing what a derp their friend was, anything was possible. I jumped up and over the bench, and dived through the window, landing in a somersault.



The two guys simply walked around the bench and walked into the building through the giant hole I just made in the glass. I turned to them and without thinking shot both of them.

Everyone in the lounge area seemed very surprised and scared at the fact that I just fired my pistol indoors, and less surprised or scared that I just killed 3 people.

Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and looked at me, until one guy shouted "Go get-em Bad-Ass McCoy!"

I casually walked out of the building through the front door with my new idenetity, feeling totally, 100%... bad-ass.

18.06.2013

Group of Females Have Sex But They Slap Me If I Join In & Explosions Everywhere (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

It's hard to give out a decent description of the area I started out in, seeing as I didn't have much interest in recalling it from having the dream yesterday or Monday of this week. The first thing that I do recall is that I'm bracing my back against a wall, a very dark brown brick wall that eventually extends into a dark hallway the more I acknowledge the environment around me. I have several women, maybe 5 of them surrounding me, and I can feel their sexual energy and their enthusiasm of embracing themselves with penetrating each other with strap-ons and using sexual toys to enhance their experience and attachments to each other.

I simply wanted to view the experience at first, hearing their subtle moans and sighs of reliefs as they continue going through a system of just loving each other through sexual means. I was naked as well, and I started growing fond to how cold the wall and the floor I'm sitting on felt combined with the warmth that was expressed with these females. It felt as if they were teasing me, and it was hard to tell if they purposefully restricted me to join in, or if I was doing it to myself for some masochistic reason. I held on to the thought of them increasing their sexual vibes towards each other, even though the imagery and visualization isn't as clear since I woke up from the dream. I held on to the thought, and I eventually gave in.

I wanted to participate with them, seeing as now that their state of libido has augmented so much that they wouldn't be judgmental in who is penetrating who. However, when I tried to do so, I can only recall snippets of random moments that distracted me from the overall atmosphere of the dream. I didn't even see my own dream body anymore, but rather other bodies of males that I felt that I was controlling. And one that I was actually possessing, or taking the role of had white hair, about 20+ years of age, and looked like an anime character.

Then I realized these same women I was surrounded by looked exactly like the concept art behind an erotic animated series called Discipline and even Starless. *gulp*

Anyway, while I was trying to collect my thoughts and hopefully have sex with whoever is in close proximity, an explosion just random occurs. (Why does something always happen just when I'm 3 feet away from having dream sex...UGH)

All of the females and myself were soaring in the air from the blast, and while I'm in mid-air, I managed to control myself a bit more and immediately grabbed a blonde female that looked like Leona Morimoto (google that name at your own risk).

What felt like just grabbing her arm to hopefully save her from being injured from impact to the ground ended up with me holding her in my arms completely. She looks up to me and smiles at me, and from there, I started to becoming more enticed into her smile and the vibe she gave me. From there, I can't really recall what happened.

I was in a bar/ school/ I don't know. I was standing alone. I eventually made my way to the back, and recognized some people. They were people that I knew from a long time ago. All of the girls in the group were wearing black tops, and white skirts or dresses. One girl had a white top with a black skirt. I pointed it out to the group, and everyone started laughing. I then made my way back up to the bar. I noticed an Asian woman, sitting alone. I sat next to her, and offered to buy her a drink. She smiled at me, and I got up to get the drink. I found the drink at a desk, in another corner of the very large room. I walked around some more, until I reached a parking lot of sorts. There were about 6 circular pillars, 3 on each side of the room, leaving one row in the middle, which had tables and desks with people sitting in them. In the other two rows, behind the pillars, were hundreds of bikes of all shapes, sizes, and colors. I remember a small bike that had the red power ranger's face on the handlebars. It was painted red. The other was a very long bike, made to resemble a bottle of orange crush.

I went back to the Asian girl with the drink I found. The drink looked and tasted like completely watered down mountain dew. There were three men sitting in front of the girl now. They were leaning in towards her unnaturally. Two of them were black males, one skinny and one fairly hefty. The other guy, the guy talking to the girl, looked like Winnie the pooh, color and feature wise. When I got up to them, I could see the girl was extremely uncomfortable. The guys looked at me and started joking around and insulting me. I ignored them, and asked the girl if she wanted another drink. She told me to go find another table to sit at. This made the guys upset. They started to surround me. I was trying to tell them that I knew her, that it was fine. I ended up being a dick to them, and flipping them all off. They made fun of the fact that I couldn't fully extend my middle finger. They leave the bar, making threats on my life.

Flash forward, same place. I'm with the Asian girl still. Someone bursts through a door that I didn't notice before. He's carrying a newspaper. He's also visibly upset. He tells us that the two little guys ended up killing each other in a shoot out. Memories told me that a young boy, after the threat on my life had been made, approached us and told us he would take care of the guys that were harassing us. I assume he had killed the skinny black guy.

Flash forward, in the same place. It's empty now, only 1 or 2 people are sitting around. I recognize that I'm with Cole. He's standing next to me, along with another person. We approach a doorman, standing with his arms crossed, next to a door. He opens the door for us and pulls me aside. He points across a street that appears in front of me. He asks me if I see the women with the pink tights. I do, she is walking away from my location. He tells me something unintelligible about her, but I'm suddenly filled with rage. Cole has already started walking across the street, so I join him. I'm about ten feet away from the pink tights woman, when she goes into a building. I'm about to follow her, but Cole goes into another building, next to the one she went in. I follow Cole in. The store looks like a variety store or upper class pawn shop. There are two older people behind a jewelry counter, located in the front left of the shop. They are both Asian, one man and woman. I thought that were probably married. I follow Cole up to the jewelry counter. We look around for awhile, until Cole says to me, "I'm going to need a honest opinion on what to shoplift, here." This took me by surprise at first, but I realized it was Stefan's birthday. The Asian couple started arguing, and entered a backroom. Cole and I started throwing boxes that were on shelves throughout the store. We found that there was a silky material in the boxes. When you shook them, they would break apart into feathers. I grabbed a turquoise box, and it said we were handling swanskin. We threw as many boxes as we could fit into a black trash bag that Cole suddenly had.

Last night, I had what was probably the most real looking lucid dream I've ever had. This was pretty much the only time where I couldn't control things very easily though, so that was kind of disappointing.

Still, the dream itself was pretty cool. I'll explain it to you:

The setting was my house, but it was facing the opposite direction that it normally does. It was also in a different area... it was on an enormous grassy field with a few trees here and there. It was actually pretty beautiful.

Off in the distance, there was a huge pyramid. It looked like an Egyptian pyramid, though it was different because the top of it was rectangular, and it had strange symbols written on it. It was weird that I could see the symbols, because it was probably several miles away.

Closer to where I was, there were dinosaurs grazing. I saw some triceratops, hadrosaurs, and a tyrannosaurus came charging towards them. I wish I would have ran over and interacted with them, I don't know why I didn't. I also should have went to the pyramid.

I decided to run, and I got to where I was doing 50 mph or more, so I decided to try and jump and fly. I tried several times to fly but I couldn't get it (weird because I've actually flown before in dreams and didn't have much trouble).

In this dream, I couldn't control much of anything. The only thing I did was pull the ground apart and then close it back up.

Also, I don't remember seeing any people in the dream, but I did hear some murmuring about how I was an "Aztec God".

This dream ended after a few minutes, and I was in another dream (though I thought I was awake), and I was actually telling my DCs about the lucid dream I just had. I forget what they said, but I think one of them said that lucid dreaming was stupid or something like that, lol.

And also, I'm getting a lot better at initiating lucid dreams!

Morning of June 19, 2013. Wednesday.



This is a long convoluted dream with the main theme being the Rapture (as in being lifted or teleported into Heaven, which some Christians apparently believe). It combines humor, movie-like scenarios, and erratic confusion of words and ideas that only a dream can hopelessly distort so thoroughly, yet which still leaves an overall good feeling, as it colored my mood in a very cheerful way.

---

Firstly, I find out about and focus on a few ideas I had not known or at least not thought about much before. In my dream, the “Rapture” is called, or related to, the “Prodigy”. In my dream, I look up the word “prodigy” (liminally recalling it has nothing to do with anything ominous), but find a wrong meaning in two different dictionaries. One entry reads as “Of or relating to the time period from ages 8 to 8 years”. Another entry in a different dictionary reads as “8-8”. So, “prodigy” supposedly only means an eight-year-old child in my dream (and for some reason, I know it means a boy only). It is amusing that the one age was unnecessarily shown as a span.

On an important side note, even though I was certain that the word “prodigy” was only associated with a child with a special talent, I looked it up and found another (apparently no longer used) meaning being “something regarded as of prophetic significance”, something I did not consciously know or remember, so this is possibly postcognitive, though I might have seen this meaning before and not remembered.

There is also some nonsense with a different word; “accolade” (associated with “livestock accolade”, which I have not heard before in real life). According to my dream, this is when God will lift up sheep, horses, cows, and other domestic farm animals into the sky during the animal part of the Rapture, before he gathers the humans.

In my dream, my wife Zsuzsanna is still a child, though has a flock of sheep in Nimbin on a large area of farmland. She has something written in red on her left heel, which may be “prodigy” or “rapture” or possibly another word (though reading in dreams typically results in the letters or words changing when looking at them again). When her sheep are lifted into the sky and they vanish into the clouds, she seems concerned, as her family seems angry at her for having “lost” them. However, a short time later, people witness cows being “Raptured” - or make that, only one cow, with great difficulty. Although some of the other cows are lifted by the invisible force and hover a bit, they are soon all dropped but one. The baffled people look on as the one cow swirls around seemingly experiencing a fair amount of stress and never does make it up into the clouds. So much for the Cow Rapture. People, even the religious ones in the fields, start looking a bit concerned as if they do not quite know what they are in for and some even sneak out of the area.

There is another scene where I am in a large van in Nimbin with young Zsuzsanna and her family (and her family’s friends). (I am not sure if it is the one her mother painted dolphins on, but it may be.) I am the only one being “Raptured” at the time for some reason (perhaps because I am from the future as I now begin to contemplate as such), and people are asking me, if I come back from the Rapture, to tell them what happened.

However, as I am inside the van, its ceiling seems to be made of “frozen rain clouds”. I keep rising up, crashing through the ice of the frozen clouds, and going back down a short distance as I hover a bit, and each time, large amounts of cold water fall down upon me and the others inside the van, releasing the “rain” in larger, more compact streams. This continues for what seems a long time. I am facing downward with my arms out a bit, and after time passes, it feels more and more exhilarating, with an extremely vivid and wonderful sense of weight and momentum and cooler temperature of the kind I very much enjoy on a hot day. I start to wonder if I will eventually go out through the roof of the van or if all the “rainwater” will eventually be released from out of the doors of the van (though there is no indication of water rising inside the van). As I float up and down, I hit the ice at various levels of strength each time. At this point, it feels somewhat like a standard flying dream, not nearly as unfettered yet more thrilling in some ways. It continues until I slowly wake, feeling rejuvenated.

---

(Of course, this is a vestibular system correlation waking process as is typical of many of my dreams; an average of more than one per sleep cycle, in fact. The van is an autosymbolic extension of my physical body as singular vehicles usually are. Concerning the flying cows, there was possibly influence from the flying cow scenes in “Twister” and “The Wizard of Oz”, and possibly even influence from the nursery rhyme line, “the cow jumped over the moon”, as there seemed to be influence from “Little Bo Peep” as well.)

---

1. [non-lucid][3rd person] {From a WILD or WBTB this morning after I woke}
I was learning to fly, there was some girl teaching me how to do it. So I tried the first time and steam was created beneath me, only lifted a few cm off the ground. The girl teaching me (lets just call her G for now) said try harder, so I concentrated and lifted a few feet ((pillars of steam shoot out of my feet) I was ecstatic at this point). G said give it more power. While in the air I said TNT (there was a sudden burst of fire & steam) and it gave me a boost so I said it again, G shouting more, I then decided to say "Infinite TNT" and away I went I was flying (Steam and fire was bellowing out of my feet), G was joyful at my success. I flew for a few minutes then lost control and fell, the dream ended.

G I think was the witch from a dream i had the other night. Maybe shes my dream guide.

This was not a lucid dream but I am very happy to remember it.

Fragments:
Standing with my Nan, across the road is a pizza restaurant, all of a sudden the whole street became lit as all the lights came on, the pizza place had a green sign.

Okay, so I want to start out by saying this dream happened a week ago, I only just became a site member.

So I don't know how, but I was in a room. empty, except for me and three others. My buddy Jordan, and two girls I had never seen before, yet they seemed familiar. The blond went over to Jordan, and I believe he was her girlfriend. The other, who I saw more in depth, was a red-haired girl, where the hair fell down past her shoulders, but only just, with beautiful brown eyes, deeper than any I had ever seen. Her skin was white and flawless, and soft to the touch. She had an amazing smile, and was perfect in every way. Gorgeous. But when she started to talk, after we had stared into each other's eyes for what seemed like an eternity, everything faded.

I have never dreamed of anyone in this detail. She was too real for me to believe she doesn't exist somewhere. I didn't even think anything of it until last night with its dream.

I was going for a jog at night, and there she was. Standing on the side of the road, appearing sad, lost, and alone. I stopped and went to her, and when I did, I kissed her. It was like magic. Afterwards, when we left our embrace, we were in a camp that was being built. I walked with her, and we kept going until we reached a hallway, painted a gentle shade of red. We entered, and at the end was the Pope. He nodded, and we left, but in my pocket was a ruby pendant, in the shape of a heart. I never gave it to her, as once more, she faded before I could tell her what I felt.

I awoke this morning after this, and I miss the girl. I don't know her name, where she is, only that I think I love her. How can I fall in love with someone who may not even exist? I just need to know if she's even real, and if she feels the same way. I need to know.

Looooooong dream, beware:

I hate that my LDs lately seem dependent on my days off since I work so much more now, but at least if the LD is really epic, then it's a pay off for me. The like one I just woke up from. It's also in part to the sweet podcast that CL and I recorded last night.

I didn't think I was going to have one at all, because I kept sleeping in and waking up, and nothing. I was hot, and uncomfortable. Finally Danny got up and I rolled over to sleep again. Then the bed suddenly felt cylindrical, and I began to feel like I was slowly rolling off, but never did. I get funny sensations like that sometimes when I'm about to have a WILD. So I just relaxed and remained still, and a wave of vibrations washed over me. I very patiently waited a few moments before slowly getting out of bed. Everything was realistic, but I noticed that the fan was missing from our ceiling fan, but then appeared suddenly (like as OOPS forgot). Also the pillows had fringes that don't exist irl, so I knew for sure I was dreaming.

I went to leave the room, but I had blankets attached to me. I left the room and there was still one wrapped around my legs. I cursed it in my mind, then continued to the livingroom. I remembered the naked task, and was happy to see the livingroom was full of people. Mostly kids, and a lady on the couch. I knew it would be ok since it's just a dream anyway. I said "Hey guys, I'm about to get nekkid!!" They totally ignored me, while watching TV. Then I remembered that piece of paper from an old TOTM still in the kitchen. I had a personal goal of wanting to check it out again. It was in the right place, but it was covered with nonsensical words that changed everytime I looked at it. At one point, I saw that it said "turn over" and when I did, it was blank. I turned it back over, and it had changed again. Anyway, I went back into the livingroom and started taking my clothes off. The blanket had vanished at some point during all this (the power of ignoring annoying crap in dreams). I said "HEY! I'm naked!" One kid looked at me and said, "Oh look, once Ophelia's done with this, I'm going to teach everyone how to smoke pot!" Then I lost it, I laughed so hard at that boy. I looked at the lady on the couch, who glanced at me for a moment, then looked away like she wished I hadn't done this. SO I said "Bye, I'm going outside to fly in the buff!"

I went outside and hit the air, but I either flew too low and bounced, or I went to high and would lose my vision. Oh yeah, I had my glasses on, and I remember seeing if I could still see without them, but I needed them, oh well. Keep them on for now. After the flying, things got really blurry, and sketchy, and I couldn't make anything out. So I relaxed, and said "Imagine a barn. A red and brown barn.." and one appeared in front of me. It was still all a little sketchy, but I decided to go to the barn and look for a mirror transport. I noticed a big black bear walk on its hind legs into the barn, just before I did. I walked down a hall toward what appeared to be a bathroom, when the bear came at me, mouth wide open and bared teeth. I rolled my eyes and stuck out my hand, and he bit it, and locked on. It hurt but it was bearable. I just kept walking toward the bathroom, then I went inside and shut to door, which made the bear let go. Ha! I looked in the mirror over the sink, still not great vision. I kinda absent-mindedly turned on the bathroom light, and then BOOM! It was like someone had turned on the sun! I was about to go in the mirror, when I noticed Kim and Nicole from work outside the window. I yelled their names and told them I was LDing. They ran over to the barn, but by the time they got there, they were 2 Kims instead. They looked kinda angsty and said something I forget. I just ignored them and went back to the mirror while I could feel them watching. I poked my head and torso through, but it was a really large room that was kinda dark. I didn't really want to go there, but I couldn't pop back out of the mirror for some reason. It felt like this new room was sucking me through, so I went with it.

I plopped out into this really large room, where all the walls were bookshelves, and there were kids toys here and there. Also alot of unfinished paintwork. A woman was putting books away on the shelves, when she suddenly was aware of my presence. She whipped around, then came at me with a small axe! I just stood there, and when the axe came down, I caught it by the handle and pulled it out of her hand. I said "Ma'am, I'm just traveling, you don't have to be scared of me." Then I heard it: an inhuman scream. It sounded like it was coming from a man, but it was so loud, and crazed. The woman looked even me scared at that then she was of me. I left the room to go toward the sound, when I ended up in a hallway where I noticed 3 men putting together an elaborate story book. They came up to me, pretending like they didn't hear this screaming. They walked me through the story, telling me all about it. I couldn't believe they were ignoring this sound. Finally I saw the source: A man walked toward us, carrying a small boy. I knew at that moment that he was the woman's wife, and this was their child. The dad was completely 100% INSANE. I knew he was rich though, because this was a really big house. I had assumed that he hired those men to make a really great book for the child. The dad was still screaming unintelligibly, at the wife I believe. Just pure anger and insanity. The child in his arms looked just, sad and yet resigned to it. I said to the guys writing the book, "He must pay you guys a lot of money to be able to ignore that shit!" One of them nodded at me. I thought, oh hell no. I still knew I was dreaming, and the axe was still in my hand. So I ran at him, ready to chop him to bits, while hopefully saving the child. The wife stopped me, crying something about not killing the father of their children. So I flew above the man, who finally shut his mouth and just stared at me in disbelief. And I said, "Mr. Dead Man? Yes, I call you DeadMan because this so called son of yours it not your son, because you don't deserve him. You are now dead to him." Then he just rolled over on the floor, and lay there in a vegetative state.

I ended up DEILDing 2 times after that, one where I was a man and hooked up with that woman to take care of the family, but when I stripped down I had boobs, whoops.

Then another where Danny came in wanting to have sex, and I accused him of being a DC and I'd rather have the real thing. And he said maybe we're both LDing right now, you can ask the real me in the morning. I said ok I'll tell you a code word now, that I'll ask the real you tomorrow. THen he gave up haha. Creepily, the real Danny came in after I woke up this morning, and he was dressed JUST like the DC one, the room was the same amount of light, and he sat on my bed and was talking a bunch of weird crazy shit to me. I had to RC, but nope that was the real Danny.

1. [non-lucid]
I got caught with scissors by security who rode black segways with black helmets, so I had to hand them over. (Was on a stone path, there are black metal fences to my left (blocking off a lake) and right, its nighttime but its not dark, the moon is out)

I stabbed and killed someone with scissors then threw them in the lake, as I threw them i noticed another pear of red handled scissors that were teetering on the edge of the lake.

I exposed a female murderer who cuts peoples faces of (probably with scissors). I sneaked into her kitchen, she saw me from the roof opposite to her house and was yelling at me, I activated a conveyor belt used for kitchen equipment which had peoples cut off faces on it, and some sort of authority saw the faces come through on the conveyor belt and I saved the day.
A young version of Dexter Morgan is talking with some other guy next to a fence then the dream ended.

I beleive I was infact a young version of Dexter Morgan throughout the dream.

Thoughts:
Scissors are like knifes lol.

Non-lucid dream, 14th June 2013. It was kinda long, and I remember most of it except a couple links that lead to location or situation changes.

I'm at a pub located in my hometown, alone, with some game cards on my hand, I'm not sure if just ordering them, or preparing to play a solitaire or something. It's an irish style pub / beerhouse (as in real life), and there is people around having drinks. I'm aware that I'm waiting for two friends, because we agreed to have dinner together. I think I recall planing the thing with them, but I'm not sure if it happened in the dream too.

The waiter comes to say hello to me (as in real life, we know each other well), and says: "Hey man, you gotta order something if you'll stay sitting there!". A bit disapointed and not being able to believe he was serious, I was thinking if leave, or just ignore him.

At this point I order a drink. I notice its a cheap brand of cider what he serves me. The two friends arrive and when asking where are we going to have dinner, they say that the idea was to do it right here, at the pub. I though "ok, so we are having cheap cider then...".

Now I find myself in some kind of room, which I understand is the home of one of my friends, and I think I'm awakening after having some fun and drinking. My friend is around but we are on our own things. The room looks like if it's some kind of occupy house or commune, as I get the feeling there are more people around, going in and out.

I get up and prepare to go outside to the street, and suddenly I realize I'm not carrying my phone, wallet or home keys. Just the keys of my office. "Damn, I must have lost them...". I decide to go check the pub, walk around and ask, but nothing. I go back to my friend's room, and now it's floor if full of dust, a lot of dust, and I see there are lots of pieces around.

I think if maybe my phone just fall from my pants while sleeping, so I start looking in the floor. I see fragments of phone, similar to when it falls and breaks apart, but there are from other brands or models. I find a couple of batteries buried in the dust, some covers, buttons... but none from my phone.

I find my wallet and my keys. I ask my friend to call me and see if we hear the phone... nothing happens. I go to the street and in the way I find my cousin: "hey, I lost my phone". As I walk with him in the street he tries to call me and we pay attention to see if we hear it somewhere, but nothing.

One time finally someone picks the phone on the other side: "hey, you're not getting it back".
I was a bit shocked and frustrated, asked again for it, and the voice said: "you can get the phone for the price of one year domain registration" (I'm a web developer, guess it has to do with it). I was like... OK. And we agreed to meet somewheren.

Again I find myself with my friend, in a car, driving to the place where this guy told me to meet, following my friend's instructions as I didn't know the city. Turn left here, right here, etc... We finally park and enter what seems to be a normal shop.

Now suddenly it isn't a shop, but an airport entrance. There is a security guy there, and the small room (that looks like a bank) is where people waits for the plane. There I find a girl, who looks a bit pimp, with my phone in her hand. She tells me that I'm not getting it back.

Now I don't know how or why but I ask her: "err.. did you just find it somewhere around the street, or was it in my room?". She answers: "I just went to the room, saw it on the floor and took it". So then I said: "Ok, then you stole it", while at the same time I pick it from her hands.

Now I find myself walking on the street with her and my friend, and I see some whatsapp messages from someone I don't know. Kindly the girls says: "oh, yeah.. you can remove my SIM card. Here, this is yours, just keep mind I'm not using it.

Can't remember right now if something else happened. I think it did, but probably not much related to all this experience.


The thing is that I woke up and I had the full story in my head and could remember all details without much effort.

Hi!

Before I tell you about my dream of snakes let me tell you about me & give a little context

I just turned 50, am happily, wonderfully married (for almost 25 years; thank God, my wife is the greatest blessing in my life; I must've done something really good in a previous time around), and am the proud Papa of two boys, 12 & 16. I like my job (same one for 20 years) and my dogs. I moved to Israel in the mid-1980s & have never even remotely considered leaving Israel. We are modern-orthodox. My family (back in the USA) is not even remotely religious/observant. I was raised de jure Conservative and de facto nothing. I decide to make aliyah & become frum when I was 23, a very sudden, bolt-out-of-Anatevka decision. (I was watching the film version of "Fiddler on the Roof" when I was 22 and completely freaked when Tevye said, at the very beginning, "Because of our traditions, each one of us knows who he is and what God expects him to do." That was a slapshot to the head from 25 feet out. At the time, I had no idea who I was and that God actually wanted me to dosomething. I decided then and there to become orthodox and move to Israel. Don't knock it; if God could talk to Moses from a burning bush, He could certainly toss a hint my way from an old movie.) And here I am.

I've always taken a contrarian delight in bucking the tide. This long pre-dated my decision to become observant, i.e. orthodox, (see above); deciding to become observant was part of it & it is still percolating around now.

I've run into a religious rut.

The next-to-last verse in the Book of Ecclesiastes says: "The end of the matter, all having been said, fear [the original Hebrew means something more like "be in reverent awe of"] God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole person."

I have reverent awe of God & I do my best to keep His commandments but the enthusiasm & the fervor I used to have is long since gone away and I feel like I'm just going through the motions, clutching at forms even as the content is gone. I feel like a hamster on a wheel. I go to synagogue, keep kosher, keep Shabbat [the Sabbath], etc. because I have to and because I don't want not to. Sometimes I think that (since) everybody needs a code to live by & since this one is as good as any and better than most, I might as well stick with it. But is this it?

(Please feel free to Google or Wikipedia any term/place/word below that you might not get. I would have liked to put in links but as a newbie here, that's not allowed.)

The most interesting series of spiritual experiences I've had recently, if you can call them that, one that has started a whole host of confused doubts to percolate in my heart, was that on April 23, me, my wife & two friends drove to Kiryat Luza on Mt. Gerizim in Samaria to watch the Samaritans bring their Passover offering. (Mini-aside: I think "sacrifice" is a horrible mistranslation of the Hebrew word "korban", which actually comes from a root meaning "to approach" or "to draw near to".) I was impressed, very. Since then, I've been doing my homework (I've always loved doing research), reading up on them. While we were up there on Mt. Gerizim, after they lowered the skewered lambs into the fire pits (it's all over YouTube), we spoke with one young Samaritan from Holon (near Tel Aviv) who answered our questions & did his best to explain their beliefs & customs.

On May 17, my colleague/friend from work & I drove to Mt. Gerizim to visit the national park on the summit (the Israel Nature and Parks Authority English site doesn't have a link, the Hebrew site does) and explore Kiryat Luza. We parked right next to the area with the fire pits. I showed my friend the pits & explained how the Samaritans did their Passover offering & then we walked up to the park. We saw some of the Samaritan holy sites: Altar of Isaac, the Eternal Hill/Givot Olam, (see Deuteronomy 33:15, I crouched down and ran my hands over the almost flat stretch of rock, that was very cool; this is my avatar), and where Joshua set up the 12 stones, and took in the astounding view.

On May 20, I took the day off to get stuff done at home in the morning & then drove off to the Samaritan neighborhood in Holon (one cul-de-sac street that they're starting to outgrow) to meet with a Samaritan gentleman with whom I have been emailing. I parked opposite one of their synagogues which looks just like one of ours except for the writing in their ancient Hebrew script. We sat in his living room and spoke for several hours. I mainly asked questions about their beliefs & customs and how they differ from ours, and he answered. My host gave me a Samaritan calendar, a few copies of their community newsletter & a little notebook for children learning to read their alphabet. They've published an English translation of their Torah (side-by-side with an English translation of our text for comparative study); when I can spare the $50-60 or so for a copy from Amazon, I would like to buy it. In the mean time, I'm going to try and teach myself their alphabet so I can read their script (the newsletter is in modern Hebrew, their ancient Hebrew, Arabic & English) and, eventually, hopefully, their Torah in the original. He also invited to be in touch with him for a more personal tour of Mt. Gerizim (or "the mountain" as they call it). That would be cool.

I know that there are only about 760 or so Samaritans but the cool thing is that there are no Reform Samaritans, no Conservative Samaritans, no orthodox, ultra-orthodox or secular Samaritans, there are just Samaritans, all saying the same prayers, doing the same things, accepting the same spiritual leadership. This is a kind of unity and harmony that we can't even dream about in our wildest fantasies!! We're so f@$%ing rancorously divided among ourselves that it's nauseating; it's like God's words don't count ^ everyone just slangs on each other.

Up until last week, I had been merely wondering where I was going with all this, with my newfound fascination with the Samaritans & their similar-to-ours-yet-different faith. I still don't know. Sometimes the point of a journey is the journey itself and not necessarily one's destination, assuming one ever arrives anywhere. A traveler travels and I'm enjoying myself so far. There is a beauty in their unity and a purity and simplicity in their approach to Torah that appeal to me. Now, I don't know how much of this is one doozy of doubt with a good mixture of revulsion over our utter disunity thrown in. I mean is being an orthodox Jew merely my default program, and I'm borne along more by spiritual inertia than anything else? My, that's certainly fun & exciting (not).

So, I had a really weird dream last week. I usually do not remember my dreams but this one was very vivid & I haven't been able to get it out of my head/heart. I dreamed that I was bitten by a snake. I dreamed that I was in our old neighborhood & that a small greenish-yellowish snake bit me on the right thigh.There was local swelling & discoloration. I did not feel systemic symptomns. I was wearing khaki shorts & the swelling & discoloration could not be seen by anyone. I knew it was there, I could feel it, but I had to either hike up the shorts or take them half-off to show anybody. I remember thinking that there was poison in my system but only I knew it was there.

I relate this to my ongoing spiritual confusion & my fascination with the Samaritans. I know what the snake symbolizes, a la Genesis: temptation, doubt, etc. Why our old neighborhood? Because when my colleague and I drove to Mt. Gerizim that day, we left from there. (I left my car there & we went in his car.) The snake's poison = doubt, and that only I can feel it, that only I know it's there, the meaning of that is obvious. The doubt in my heart is apparent only to me; nobody else can tell.

My Samaritan friend has invited to personally guide me around Mt. Gerizim. I'd love to take him up on his offer but part of me is kind of afraid to because maybe I'll want to stay there (spiritually, figuratively) and serve God on that mountain. That idea, to serve God on that mountain, i.e. Mt. Gerizim, has been echoing in my head.

I always say that running from temptation is no good because if you run from temptation, it'll just follow you, you have to turn and face it, and stare it down, and tell it to f*ck off & show that it has no power over you. It is as if God has said to me, "You think it's that easy ZVBM? You talk a good game but let's see how you actually play." And like I don't know whether it's my good impulse ("yetzer hatov" in Hebrew) or my bad impulse ("yetzer hara", which isn't really bad per se as it is selfish & self-centered), or both, that's messing with me.

And what's really freaking me out about all this is wondering if my Jewish faith is this shallow that it can be so easily rattled? Or is my heart responding to some greater call? Do I have spiritual poison in my system, that I'm being tempted by the Samaritan version of our faith (as I'll put it) or is that my yetzer hara messing with me. I mean it's not like I'm tempted by, say, another faith completely, like Christianity or Islam, God forbid!, I'd sooner die.

Oh, and last night, I dreamed that I was some sort of spy, living in deception behind enemy lines. We live in an almost exclusively religious (i.e. orthodox) neighborhood here that is so square it hurts sometimes. Our friends & neighbors would freak if anyone realized that my interest in the Samaritans was anything other than academic.

Gagghhhh

Any thoughts?

Level of Lucidity: 1
Level of Clarity: 6
Level of Realism: 7
(levels based 0-10, 0-5 being low - good 5-10 being great - extreme)

Parts of this dream are in present tense and some are in past tense. When I wrote this I had just woken up and was going back and forth between the tense because I was tired.

Dream 1: I am standing on a sort of futuristic football field with a large-ish African American kid about my age. He and I are supposed to be protecting somebody, but it’s not a life or death thing, we’re supposed to be protecting him in a game we’re about to play. There are tons of other people around our age (18) there, just walking around the field. Something happens and everyone starts running in the same direction, as if a race is starting. I start running as fast as I can to get to the front of the pack. The race leads off the football field, and there was a long handicap ramp for people to roll up if they’re in wheel chairs. I ran up to it, and jumped over the railing, taking a shortcut. I jump over the next two railings too.



I see that my old middle school friend, who I just saw recently for the first time in years at a grocery in the waking world, was running and she was in the front of the group. It reminded me of when we were back in school, and she would always be at the front of class, always putting her hand up first. In a sense she was leading the class.

I catch up to her and she seems to know where she’s going, so I start to follow her. We run through a building and then down several flights of stairs. The stairs change from being a house kind of stairwell to being an industrial kind of stairwell with cement stairs and railings and cement walls. All of a sudden the stairwell ends and we’re in a large cement parking lot. I looked around and everything had a sepia tone to it.

There were some tire marks on the cement, but no parking space lines.



I looked forward and remembered that I need to keep following her. She ran around a corner and got a slight lead on me, but she didn't know I was following her. When I run around the corner she is gone, and there are multiple stairways and multiple doors leading all sorts of directions. I had no idea which way to go. To my left was a scissor gate like a small business would use in a town to keep the front of the store inaccessible during the night from thieves.



I didn't have much time. I looked around desperately trying to find her, but I was too late. The herd of kids had caught up, but they were in the hallway that was blocked off by that sliding scissor gate. Cayla (my friend from school) was behind the scissor gate too. I looked at her and she looked at me as if to say “How did I get in here?”

I took advantage of the opportunity, and ran in one of the random directions. It led me to a train tunnel like place, and I kept running. Eventually I wound up at a bus at the end of the tunnel. I looked around and noticed that it was night time, and everything was dark. I got into the bus and sat near the front. There were already three other people on the bus. Two girls my age and one boy who I seemed to know from somewhere. Once I was on, the bus started to drive away. We drove down a street and I noticed that it was a place I was familiar with, my grandparents neighborhood. We all started talking to eachother, saying hello and asking names. I think one of the girls said her name was Stacy. She was very attractive. I then sat back in my chair and waited for a while. It felt like we were driving for an hour. By this time we were all good friends, even the bus driver. We pulled into a small city, and I saw some small houses on my left, and what appeared to be an amusement park in front of us. I looked down to the road as we approached a red light, and noticed that there was a small African American baby sitting in the road. He didn’t seem scared, he was quite playful. He was acting like a frog, and as soon as I acknowledged that, a black frog about the size of the baby appeared next to him. They were both sticking their tongues out and trying to catch something on the ground, perhaps an ant or a bug, with their tongues.

The light changed and we progressed on our journey. I looked behind me at the girls and noticed that they were making out. I thought to myself “ ……. HOT!” My buddy who was sitting in the back kind of looked at me and laughed then looked out the window, as if he’d seen this a million times. The girls off and on started kissing eachother, and I looked at Stacy and said “Can I help you girls out?” They kind of ignored me but I was persistent and said “I wanna get involved with that!” They stopped kissing and looked at me, it sort of creeped me out because they didn’t say anything for a second. Then Stacy said “No.” (Damn!)

We pulled up next to a large strange shaped rock/metal formation at the amusement park and stopped next to it, still on the road, by a curb. The wall formation looked like the wall in this picture of a ride at six flags:



We all got out and started walking, but we knew where we were going. After we turned a corner I was at my old house, which has recently sold. We’re standing in the driveway, and my dad and some people who seem to be his friends are in the garage next to a car with tools out. They say something taunting to me as a joke and we walk into the garage.

I felt a sense that told me “The whole reason we did this mission was to get here to fix something on a car.” It made me feel like It was a lot of effort just to do something so small, and why was it so important that all the kids from that school wanted to come fix it?

I heard some noises in real life and began to wake up and journal.

I used the WBTB and ADA Technique here, never became fully lucid, but was conscious enough to make SOME decisions in the dream of my own, but at no point had any idea I was really asleep.

Last night, I probably had some of the strangest dreams of my life. I'm not even really sure how to put into words how ridiculous they were, but I'll try.

Now, while they were weird, they were also probably some of the best non-lucid dreams I've ever had.

Here's everything I remember (it might get confusing, but bear with me):

The first thing I remember was being with two of my sisters... and Neve Campbell. See? It's already weird. I don't remember thinking about Neve Campbell or anything before I went to sleep, but it absolutely was her in my dream. This should have been a pretty big clue that I was dreaming, because I seemed to know her pretty well personally.

Anyway, I guess my dream was creating false memories for me, because we stumbled upon this guy who was apparently a "chef" from Food Network who had a show that me and my family used to watch together. He wasn't REALLY an actual projection of a real-life chef from Food Network, but I was pretty sure that he was in my dream. In fact, I think he was Bill Murray (at least, he looked and sounded like him).

We hung out with this guy for a while, but when he wasn't around, me and my sisters (and Neve Campbell) saw a news report on TV that said that this man was actually a man who disguises himself as various people from TV and what-not, and that whoever turns him in will get a reward (or something like that). We tried looking for him, but we couldn't find him. A while later though, me and my sisters... and Neve Campbell... went to the old neighborhood that me and my sisters used to live in when we were younger, and saw a man who looked suspiciously like the Food Network impersonator guy (or Bill Murray...), living in a bright pink house with a Dora the explorer themed car (that didn't start)... he was standing in his garage talking to us (don't remember what he was saying though). Now, I know that this bright pink house wasn't really in my old neighborhood, and this man didn't really live there, but in the dream, I was pretty sure that this stuff actually happened (false memories, I guess).

The next thing I remember, me, my sisters, and Neve Campbell were sitting at a restaurant having dinner. We were all talking to each other (again, don't remember what we were saying), and all of a sudden Neve Campbell puts her hand on my thigh. Her hand felt really warm for some reason, and I remember thinking that I liked it (weird, I know).

The next dream I had felt like only a few seconds, and I wasn't even a part of it. It was Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslett (still in character from Titanic) riding in a weird train thing (it was kind of like the Mono-rail from Batman Begins, but instead of a train it looked more like a car), and Leonardo DiCaprio was yelling angrily about how the windshield wipers kept spraying lube on the windshield every 7 seconds (weird as hell, I know).

It's also weird because I couldn't see them, but I knew they were in the train... car... thing. Kate Winslett didn't say anything, but I knew she was there too. So strange.

These were some of the most entertaining dreams I've had, honestly.

Towards the morning though, I was actually able to become lucid.

It wasn't a very good lucid dream though, because I knew I was dreaming, but I felt absolutely EXHAUSTED in the dream (the sleepy kind of exhausted, not the kind of feeling you get after a workout), and I could hardly keep my eyes open, and everything seemed foggy. I was sitting at my kitchen table, rubbing my hands together furiously and I kept yelling out "INCREASE CLARITY!", and I think it helped a little, but not much.

The next thing I know, I'm waking up in my room. However, I almost immediately know that this is a false awakening, because I look at my alarm clock and notice it says "15:00" (military time isn't an option on my clock). However, I still felt very very tired and couldn't really enjoy the dream. I remember yelling out "Why the fuck am I so tired!?!?!?" in a half joking, half frustrated kind of way. I woke up for real a few seconds later.

It's weird, but maybe I actually fell asleep in the initial lucid dream because I was so tired, and that was what triggered the false awakening. Not sure, but it's possible.

I was flying around in an undefined spaceship and everything was much like in a X3 game. I went to a special sector where something interesting was said to happen and the whole sector was filled with fancy things like special shaped colorful moving micro-nebulas and a lot of things that behaved roughly like the physics in Antichamber. There also was this huge in weird colors glowing weapon flying around, close to one of the mentioned micro-nebulas. At some point I went to one of those chambers and then I was outside my ship (no special equipment needed), I and some other people where watching the everchanging effects until I started interfering with them, and then they took on more and more shape, until eventually a small keyboard appeared. I played on it and there were several distorted mirror like versions replicating the same accords that I played.
Eventually I got to see something hotel like and in perfect Antichamber manner just stepped into that place, it looked a little rustic. On the frame of the big entry door was a small sign with 4 words "X Club la Forge" (I don't remember what the X was, but I think it was 'To', as in 'To Club la Forge'). Somehow I was really hyped about that (La Forge by the way definitely refered to Geordy la Forge from Star Trek) so I went out and somehow had Data accompany me there, it were just a few meters. Something about Club la Forge made me realize I was dreaming, like "damn it's the Club la Forge, I must be dreaming!".
Inside I tried to start stabilizing softly with taking in all the details of my surroundings. I was at a table where a beautiful girl was sitting, maybe she was representing my girlfriend but I'm not sure. She tried to talk to me but I heard really loud music and couldn't hear anything else, then I just had the weird idea of taking my smartphone and turning down the volume, which surprisingly worked though not completely. She waved me to her so I brought my ear close to her and heard her talking, she said something about efficiency but neither do I remember what she said, nor did it make sense to me. Then I unfortunately already woke up.

This was my 60th lucid dream.

Last night, 6/15

Non-lucid, don't remember much, but setting was derived from middle school in Thief River Falls, but was different. Short, one-story, small, empty, square concrete school building with an outdoor pool on one side. Two poles with a human slingshot between on the other side to launch people into the pool. Gray in color, matching the cloudy skies. Skies are always cloudy in my dreams. Group of people (Kristi from Peru included) were using the slingshot. I was hesitant, as it looked as though it would fling me into the school building, but eventually I decided to do it. When I was flung out of it, I slowed down past the corner of the building in case I would hit it, but I didn't. (Moment of dream control? I think so.) Lazily flipped as speed returned past the building, landed in the pool. As in dream from two nights ago, while I was underwater I tried breathing in to increase buoyancy (had some cognitive dissonance about that as I was underwater but did it anyway.) Then panicked as I realized I just inhaled water, then was fine when I realized that I was asleep and breathing air. For a moment, I sat on the bottom of the pool, looking around breathing and then the dream stopped with my awareness of it.

Two nights ago, 6/14

Don't remember much, but was another flying dream. There are two types of flying dreams I have, but I only count one as a true flying dream. One is a "video game" flight dream, where I move freely through the air using WASD-and-mouse controls. This is usually just an extension of a dream taking place in a video game or something of the like, and the reality of the dream itself is suspended. Other type is actual flying, which involves effort of motion on my part, and usually takes the form of some sort of swimming motion or undulation to propel myself. Also, this type of flying frequently requires me to learn to become more agile. Initially I fly with great effort and slow speed, and then become more accustomed to my powers of flight and can bank and swoop with more ease. This dream was of the second sort.

Three nights ago, 6/13

Odd dream with a large wooden structure setting in the middle of a blue sunny ocean. Wooden structure seemed to be modeled after Minister's Treehouse stylings, which is where my dreams usually tend to go architecturally. Modern, rough wood forms with very open structure outside. Was video-game-flying in this one to work on aspects of the structure, Minecraft-style. Perhaps will call it Minecraft-flying. Was searching for things, playing a computer game with a spider character which was actually quite fun, but was only able to play for short bits at a time before plot kept pulling me away. Also, Usher song was played for me by someone, and I really liked it and was searching for a way to play it to listen to it. All that in accordance with the theme in my dreams of getting almost close enough to touch something but never quite there in a very Le Grand Meaulnes sense.