memorable

Dream: January 21, 2012

In the dream, this occurred between 1 am and 3 am. It was probably a bit later in waking life, though, as my dreams always occur in the morning hours.

It ended with sleep paralysis, or maybe it began.

Either way, this was my first episode of paralysis since November. It was night in my dream, morning in waking life, and I felt smothered by my sinus infection and the pillow. Lying down, as I was the previous time. Maybe this time I woke up, or went back to sleep, or woke up. I guess I will never know. Tried to move some of my appendages, but it was late.

At my house, my parents were preparing to leave. Yet I was out of bed, wide awake, past midnight. One of them would accompany the other to another country, as they loaded and packed up the car to go to Detroit (facade?). Something earlier happened too, but the details of that were now missing. I had a cell phone, and they had a cell phone.

About an hour passed, then half an hour. I took some baking soda, and did a line in the fridge, preserving something that would otherwise rot if the power went out. No idea why I did that, but it was suiting.

Picked up my cell phone, either to make a call or receieve one. My mom was on the phone, though it was difficult to hear, probably because of the great distance. The voice was becoming more static, and fading.

Just staring at the wall, none of it made any sense.

I looked at the time. 2:32, 2:34, 2:38. How much more time would pass, me sitting here, alone?

I knocked on my parents' door, as it was closed. They opened it, and were still inside the room. "But weren't you just driving to the airport?"

"No".

"But what about the cell phone?!"

That was weird. They were also disappointed about the baking soda, as I headed to bed, and they began to argue.

Outside, the sky had a purple glow, and the streetlights were orange. I had tried to close my eyes, run into the window, because I knew it was a dream at that point. Yet however close I was to pronouncing it a dream, I just couldn't convince myself, for I was unable to escape through that window. There was an extra tree in the street, too, a sure sign that it was a dream.

I ran again, and they just kept arguing. Waking up, they were still arguing about some of the same things as during my dream, as I drited in and out of sleep on a weekend morning.

Dream: January 14, 2012

This was another one of my 9-day dreams, the dream that occurs once every nine days since I began blogging/journalling. Although more of my dreams were being remembered now, this one was particularly stark (reader's discretion advised).

A dark tragedy unfolded in 1989: the Montreal Massacre, at the École Polytechnique in December of that year. The perpetrator was Marc Lépine, who went on a rampage against those he called 'feminists'. This time, he was still alive, had an accomplice, and that was me.

I didn't know what the murderer really looked like, but the description seemed to fit. He uncocked his gun, shot fewer than a dozen people, who fell to the ground. That part would be blocked out from my memory, for I too was in shock.

We ran onto some grounds, a mix between a university campus and a hospital. The perpetrator again pointed his gun, but this time some security guards ran out, using walkie-talkies to signal each other that there had been an incident nearby. One or two of them were female, blonde, but none of them knew of our presence. Other than the atrocities we were about to commit, it was a rather fine day, little or no snow on the grass, and not a cloud in the sky.

We ran beside a concrete wall, in some type of enclosure. Marc lined up four adults: two men and two women; two Asians, one middle-eastern and one Caucasian. None of them seemed related. I stood to the side as the crime scene unfolded. The lights dimmed. It was a scary sight.

One by one, he shot them with a semi-automatic revolver. Blood flowed from their faces, and they dropped to the floor. A short time later, I woke up, trying to remember what was going on.

I had had some dreams before, in which a murder took place. Usually though, the person being pursued or killed was me. This time, though, I had actually been the accomplice to a murder. Never before had I been the actual murderer. Well, let's just hope it stays that way.

1-21-12 (non-lucid/lucid) I was in a giant cave, and waking in a deep ravine. The stone was a dark grey and looked like there was water running down it. Then further ahead I noticed a sudden drop into the darkness below. I couldn't see the bottom since there was mist, which made me more than a bit nervous. Without knowing exactly what I was doing I reached out my hand and a platform appeared, I glided over to it, but it wasn't enough to get me onto the platform, just the side of it, I tried scrambling up the side, but it seemed to be made of some sort of soft rock, like graphite, after I used claws and kicked at the rock with my legs I managed to heave myself onto the platform. I got over to the other side and got to my home. It was in a guild I had apparently left and hadn't been seen there for a while. The only thing I remember from being gone from the guild was a home far away from the guild at another part of the cave system. I tread in and found my old home. I saw that pretty much the whole town coming to visit so I ran into my house and ran through a series of doors until I suddenly realized I was dreaming and before I went through the next door I thought of a ballroom. Then I opened the door and immediately looked to my right. Rajin stood next to a railing to the right, and it was my DG this time, not a random, DC. I looked at the rest of the ballroom, which was beautiful. The walls and ceiling were a shining white color and so were the railings and stairs. On the other side was another platform and door. The floor on the main area was a checkerboard pattern, black and white and the dancing area was burgundy color velvet. I looked at Rajin. He was wearing a Victorian looking suit and a bright red shirt underneath it. I barely caught a faint smile. I walked up to him and put my hand on his chest and kissed him. I tasted blood and vanilla and my dream started fading, so I looked at my hands and clapped, to bring the dream back. He wanted to dance, but I told him I didn’t want to until I found my dress. I ran over to the other side of the door and walked into a very small cylinder, like room, and Rajin told me to improvise so I created a staircase. I walked up to the top and there was a sudden drop. He told me to jump. I trusted him and jumped and as I jumped the dream changed and I hit the ground and felt a snap in my neck. I stood up and righted my neck, I heard a few cracks, but felt nothing. Rajin jumped down and landed on his feet, that smug bastard. Then I walked out into the sun. It’s the first time I can ever remember seeing the sun in my dreams. It was beautiful. The sky wasn’t overly bright, but not too dark, like right when the sun is starting to go down and I was in a wheat field. Maybe he meant for me to see this the whole time. So, being joyful of seeing the sun the first time in dreams I spun around and started running and spinning some more and skipping and I got farther and farther away from Rajin and I woke up.

intergalactic battle.
me (not really) vs the lady with goggles to see the energy of things.
she has an overlord, controlling the "spaceship"
that i get glimpses of thru some metaphysical window.
i am in a house in the attic, the spaceship is outside
being built/constricted. some are opposed (me), some are for.

on another field, i have bunny feet to battle-
she has bunny feet to counter me.
many identical beings are watching us -
they look different with her goggles on (i dont know how i know).
they float.

i lose this battle and my "team" are sent to the next level-
a hell.
it looks like the surface of the sun;
fire, explosion, CME etc.
"wait, why dont we feel it

I'm only few days away from "perfect" recall for a whole month - first time in my three-year career as a lucid dreamer. Perfect, as in I've remembered something for every night/day for a month (my sleeping times have varied). That said, overall I haven't recalled that much. Last night I recalled only a short fragment. Barren streak still continues lucid-wise. 35 days since last lucid now. Let's do another shorty from the the past:

Hostage of Vladimir Putin
Date: September 17th, 2009
Lucid: No

This was a scary and very real-like nightmare. I was in some kind of school and all the sudden Vladimir Putin walks in with some agents. We were taken as hostage. Putin said, that he'll ask each of us a question, and if the answer doesn't please him... bullet into the head. Putin pointed his gun at me couple of times, but didn't ask a question. I remember how my sweat was dripping and how I was terrified. There was a very real fear of death. There was some agent, apparently american or of other enemy of Russia, next to me. Putin asked him that why would he risk his life as there was no chance that he could influence the power struggle between the big countries.

Luckily this dream wasn't very long. The agent next to me didn't even answer, before the pressure got too much for me and I woke up. Not much of reading perhaps once again, but that dream left a permanent mark into my mind.

I was on a road at night. I was passing a lot of houses. I stop in front of a building which was something between an abandon train station and a (abandon) school. There was a man there I believe was claiming to be a janitor..since its the only job he could get because of a past that he had been charged with crimes he didn't do. I believed that story at first. I went into the station-school since he let me in to get warm. The inside of the station looks like a school there was a desks,etc and there was a VCR player and TV too. The guy turned on the TV and the VCR and a video started playing.. "My Crimes" and it showed me all the crimes he done.. I was thinking "Why is the guy showing me this?" I even asked why he was showing me it. He said something like "Because you wouldn't be leaving here alive." and when he was talking he had been putting a knife to my throat.I did get really scared at that moment. At that moment there was a sound at the (outside) door and he pushed me into a closet and locked me in there.

dream changed:
I was a man (in RLF I'm a woman), I was travelling with one other man, and a blond woman (I'm a red-head in RLF).We were all sharing an aparment when travelling and the other man was already at the table eatting cereal. I had just sat down to open up the ceral box and when I did..there were too ceral bags.. 1)was a more "healthy" Cearal and the other one was Fruit Loops.

scene changes..
I'm in the bedroom in the same apartment (everything in that apartment is white).. I'm still a man, I'm on a cell (which is something I don't have in RLF), there is a woman's voice on it kept saying "Its me Emma". I had no clue who "Emma" was/is. The next thing I know I'm watching a news item and it said something about a shoot out around the apartment building we're in. (It had a red outside and non-fire escape stairs to the ground).

Second Earth

This one was really cloudy. It started out and we were on a different planet but thing thing was it was pretty much identifiable to Earth. The part of the planet that we were on was a mountainous lush green grass covered, treeless expanses and we were in the middle of a bowl with some mountains surrounding us. Now the weird thing was that if you looked straight up, you could see the exact same landscape upside down a long ways up above us, kinda like when the girl folds the world over in inception. I was there for some kind of art camp. I remember looking up at the upside down version of where we were, which in the dream was supposed to be the original earth which meant that we were on some replica earth that was literally floating less than a mile over head with the exact same environments.

Like this but without the water. and an identical place from "Original Earth" hanging upside down above us.

The most beautiful thing that captured my attention while loo was that birds were not subject to gravity. There were flocks of black birds that would fly in between the two worlds constantly and it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I stared for so long.

At one point I had to get some kind of art supply for my teacher...also my friends were there (frankie and them) and we were all sitting at several wooden picnic tables scattered around the landscape. SO now I had to go get the art supplies. There was one part of the landscape that wasn't pretty and that was an old rusty building that looked like something out of biohazard. A replica of this was not on original earth. I climbed up a ladder and entered the place. The inside looked like a warm and cozy house on the slightly high price range. I took out my knife and held in reverse in my right hand. I didn't forget that I was on a strange land and that there could be aliens. For some reason I was very convinced that I was gonna run into an alien cat monster. I was walking through the place carefully, and I saw a giant swiss army pocket knife that I wanted to steal but didn't. I kept walking and passed some humans so I let down my guard a lot. They were sitting on a couch watching tv and chilling out. I kept walking through when I saw another one of those knives. I picked it up and a kid who saw me said that it was somebodies. I said that it was alright and I'll just get the other knife that I found a while ago. He smiled maliciously and told me that if there was another knife than the one I was holding should go to him and that I should get the other knife. I smiled and accepted this deal. After I gave him the knife, I wandered back with him following me to the couch area. I think the couch was now more of a love seat configuration and that there were 2 of my friends, both girls (mad mod and sarah h) I sat down and started watching tv with them. There was some strange music on and we were watching a sonic the hedgehog-esque character and I started scatting a melody over the boring music in the background. I made a grand show of it and was kind of looking for a compliment. Never got it.

I was in my room I think. I dont really remember what triggered me to RC, but I did. I was lucid. I can't remember all that I did here. Although, I do remember Sam following me, saying that she was lucid as well. I walked into my closet with her at my tail, and found a book wide open. I tried to read from it just to see if I could, but every time my eyes moved every word turned to something else. I remember reading weird words like "rime", or something like that. Sam walked away for a moment, and now was my chance. I think instead of flying straight out of my bedroom window, I broke it with my foot, then jumped out face first. I glided slowly downwards to the ground. Looking up, I noticed that it was barely twilight.
Once I landed, I saw what looked like a shack with lighted torches around it at the end of my driveway. It was pretty odd. I tried to fly again, so I started hovering instead. I closed my eyes and imagined myself hovering. I got a few inches above ground. I noticed it wouldn't work if I concentrated on the whole body, so I tried different parts instead. I focused on my calf, and I started
hovering a bit more up and moving really fast to the left. I stopped that and tried to run really fast, but I only ran a little more than I could in the real world. It made me very tired for some reason.
Somehow I got back inside my house, and was at the base of the stairs. I looked in front of me on the right wall and saw a beautiful picture. It looked like a blue cabin in the woods, with the morning sun illuminating the lake beside it. I wanted to go there. I stuck my hand into the wall. It was pretty hard at first. Then I stuck another hand in, then my nose. I couldn't really get through any further.
So, I gave up and walked back up the stairs. I walked into my room and was thinking of some tasks I could achieve. I thought of the 3 step tasks, and
decided I would do them. First I RCed, then I tried to stabilize. I rubbed my hands together, but nothing really changed. It just looked like little rivulets were swirling in my sight. So I tried to touch things, and the dream became much more vivid and real. But just a little bit. Then I flew out my window once more.
That's all I remember. I'm not good at remembering the beginning and end parts of my lucid dreams.

Used some Maca and B-vitamins after waking last night, and felt like "just weird" Maca is good for energy and stamina, not a stimulating kind like caffeine, but more of a conscious awareness, and apparently also Libido, tho I never noticed that. Anyway on with my dream: I slipped into a dream, rather easily last night after going back to bed for a wild. The dream began with me in a dark room, where a mirror was by my bed, A mysterious voice said you have used it before, haven't you? I said I used it to turn into an animal. The voice said how did it feel, realistic? I said yes, and that it made me feel free. The voice said how so? I said it opened up my mind to odd ideas not possible, in waking life. The voice said what is waking life?! And I suddenly was in sleep paralysis. Strong electricity, buzzing, and total oblivion. While fighting it, this same voice said it's going to change your life, fight it off and it will set you free. The buzzing subsides and I just know I beat it back to a dream. The same voice said welcome back to the dreamworld. At this point I said what's going to change my life? Voice: That you remembered. I was like wow, this is one incredibly vivid conversation for a DC, so I asked who are you? My dream name is Silver Ghost, but I am also you. I have a dream name? Yes. Do others know this name? Yes. (Goggled it after the dream, and got a 1906 car) After that the voice said look at the mirror, and change. I changed into the same Fox-like animal that I have done a few time's before, only this time was way more vivid with white fur. "Now run around someone's dream your connected to. You don't know them but do whatever you want" is the last thing the voice said. I left my house and was in apparently someone's dream. I think it was just my own dream, but I'm open to anything, really. There a woman said look at that dream character, hey wolf are you a wolf? I said I don't think so. Are you dreaming too? I said. She looked at me sexually, and this wearied me out. Are you real doggie? Want to play a dream game? I asked what that was and she said A Transformation? How did you do it, in my dream? So I approach her and she pets my hair, winks at me and I woke up. So complex by far my longest most comprehensive conversation and totally meaningful.

I am 24 years old now. I used to live in a mobile home when I was about 3. I ended up accidentally burning that trailer to the ground. Around the time I was 5 years old, I had a dream where I was in the mobile home that I burnt down. The interior walls of the mobile home looked like they had been burnt out. Part of the time I was looking at the mobile home from the air and there was NOTHING but the trailer. Jason, from the horror movies Friday the 13th, was chasing me around the house with a chainsaw in his hands while I ran away. That is all that I remember.

I was on the bank of a river and I had just gotten off a boat. I was trying to drive my car onto a boat dock, but the man working at the dock wouldn't let me. I then found myself walking the opposite way up the bank of the river. I came upon a tree and then I saw an African American male ghost wearing a plaid shirt and he had no legs. He was flying back and forth above the water and was explaining to me how ghosts can be killed. I remember him pointing to the crown of his skull on the left side of his head and he said something like, "This is the only spot you can hit a ghost on the head and kill them". That is all that I remember from that dream.

I was walking through gardened, sunlit streets of Paris while servants rushed past me carrying flowers and lanterns. Suddenly, I realized I was dreaming. I hadn't done a reality check - the environment was simply unfamiliar and felt dreamlike. Knowing I was lucid, I tried to collect my thoughts and spun a few times to stay asleep. Because I'd been having with dream control, I decided to start by truly flying rather than the sad floating I'd been doing in lucid dreams lately.

Still in Paris, I flung myself off of a balcony and began to fly. The flying was fantastic - very fast and soaring, yet completely under control. The cities and towns of France were beautiful but also looked rendered, like a video game. I remember thinking that there were no landmarks like the Eiffel Tower, because this was Paris in the early seventeenth century.

I noted at this point that I was flying in a kind of standing position, with my legs pointed down and head vertical. I wondered if flying on my stomach may be a better experience and tried it. However, it felt just like the hand gliding I do in the real world, and my visibility wasn't as good. I went back to flying while standing.

As I was flying around, I noticed a ship that had partially sunk like the Costa Concordia in Italy. I thought hey, it's a lucid dream, I'll fly down and save the ship. However, I was unable to turn it over, and was gored and bloodied in the process with skin ripped off my body. This wasn't painful or scary, though, because I was still lucid. I figured I hadn't "assumed" I could help the boat, and therefore couldn't.

After flying a bit more, I decided to try going to the moon. I became a space shuttle, and rockets blasted below me, propelling me skywards. I landed on the moon and became a person again, exploring a partially unbuilt lunar base with other humans. After that, I flew more, and remember explaining to a dream character that the reason I was spinning in place was to stay asleep. My alarm clock eventually woke me up.

Note: Went to bed drunk

Well, as any of my readers might already know, I don't really have lucid dreams. My dreams are more like that of memory fragments that are very realistic, and slightly terrifying at times.
My point is this: A week or two a friend of mine suggested that I try lucid dreaming to counteract some haunting nightmares I'd been having. I did some research on the subject of dreaming lucidly and found out the basic beginner's trick to knowing when you're in a lucid dream.
I had kind of gotten the idea from Inception, but regardless, it works ALMOST every time.
People would often say for beginners to think of a bright, easily recognizable object. After seeing that object appear you would know you're now in a lucid dream. At first I tried to think of something like, a neon green dodge ball, or fiery puppy, but nothing seemed to work, but then I watched Inception. They used small inanimate objects like a chess piece or a small top, well I then tried that the following night, and it worked!
I'm not going to say what the object (because it's very personal and I don't think the objects original bearer would appreciate me just telling everyone on the internet what object kept us such good friends).
Once I was lucid, I think it would be safe to say that all hell broke loose in my subconscious mind. At first I just got out of bed like i had woken up in the middle of the night. It was so real I was afraid I was actually awake! To safely test my theory out, I punched my brother in the face. Instead of waking up, his entire head was dismembered and the things inside it spread all over the wall.
I felt so amazing, so I shot a blast of fire at the wall and flew out after my large, white Angel wings had sprouted from my back.
I was drawn to my school for some reason, so I smashed a whole in the ceiling and landed in the cafeteria. It was dark except for a few candles here and there. In the middle of the room was one of my good friends, uh, Rayne. Before I continue I should mention that she is a very well behaved teenage girl, who would never do anything bad past... okay, at the moment I can't think of anything bad she would do, but anyways...
She was laying in the middle of the room with a syringe in her arm. I rush over to her and hold her up due to the fact that she didn't eve look like she was breathing. I pick her up and she begins laughing like a maniac.
She holds up another syringe in my face. "Dude," she says tiredly. "You should... totally, try this stuff!"
'What the hell is it?!" I asked concernedly.
"HEROINE!!"
Then I realized I was in a dream and I pulled a Daedric Dagger out of nowhere and stabbed my leg. The next thing I know I wake up screaming, because I was pinched my leg so hard that I started to ooze blood.
Anyways, that was my first successful attempt at lucid dreaming. Hopefully in the future I will try to have longer and more intense dreams. I'll also being doing some research in shared dreams and will attempt one of those.
Dekaron, signing off!

Last night's recall... Meh, at least I took notes. Still not much stuff. Let's go back to the past again - it's always funny to notice how your dreams haven't really changed that much and finding connecting themes between your current and three years ago dreamed dreams. Still, I'm so tired that I'm going to do a super short one.

Voice in the Darkness
Date: August 28th, 2009
Lucid: No

I was going outside. It was a winter night and it was very dark outside. Weird that the seasons are so often not consistent in dreams - I mean that this was dreamed in August, yet it was the darkest time of the winter in the dream.

Only light-source outside was the light that came from the inside. As the door closed before me, darkness engulfed me. I was alone in the darkness. I felt distressed. Voice from the dark said: "Well well, Jakro came out." It had an evil tone and I got terrified.

Something grabbed me and started dragging me away. I started screaming as hard as I can, hoping that someone would hear me and come to help. The voice just told me to shut up. I still didn't see anything.

My own screams woke me up in the bed. I wrote to my dream journal that "I had planned to try a FILD if I wake up in the night, but I was too terrified to do it."

Simple, yet intense dream. I had some serious emotional problems back then. Well, I guess I still have.

"The Spacefairy Porthole"
Dec 21 2006 when I first started keeping a dream journal, this one is very memorable.

It starts off I am in a spaceship and I'm recieving instructions on how to run the controls by this older man. He's kind of like a tour guide giving instructions to a bunch of newcomers on the spaceship. He's giving a speech to all of the "tourists" of the ship. I'm supposed to read the instructions but I decide to put that off and explore the spaceship even though I was given some assignment...after I promise to read I put them aside. Up ahead is a giant glass window where we can view where the spaceship is going. I am astounded at the magnificant view that the window gives. I walk up to the glass and I'm closer than anyone, suddently a beautiful giant blue whale bumps into the glass, the tourguide comments "Oh that's just some occasional debree we get here and then" the whale is beautiful, and is swimming through space. When no one is looking I decide to head off through one of the doors and explore.

I go down a neverending hallway, which at one point I see my family but they're in line for a movie, even though there is nobody else in line and they're not actually...going anywhere. I try to tell my father this, that there is no line- but he is convinced that he has to wait in line therefore convincing my family this and I have to leave them there to their own doom. I continue through this strange hallway which is sort of interdimensional until I come to the library. I enter into what is the most beautiful library I have ever seen, with white floors and white walls and white marble everywhere. There are millions and millions of books, but I am caught off gaurd again when I see what is a beautiful marble mantlepiece. I walk towards the mantlepiece, Suddenly a beauitful fairy appears with curly brown hair and a beautiful dress- all I remember is she was so beautiful and made a twinkling noise. Suddenly her bare feet are enmeshed in leaves, and a sort of wreath of roots and leaves forms directly in front of her.

She tells me to look, and I look into the wreath and can see in it. Then she directs me to "Jump!" Meaning jump into this wreath where there is a hole- like a porthole. I look in and then I jump into it- I am in for three seconds, which seem to be for a millenium, as you go through time slows. I am falling down through- kind of like Alice's rabbit hole, I see these giant rocks and formations and I guess like those ancient ruins, these rocks are floating in a beautiful heavenly space, there is grass and moss and different planes of grass. It's bright I first land on a floating island, all around is sort of a grey starry mist, but as I pass through- it is as if a glimpse is more than ten minutes...there are whales floating around everywhere, beautiful large whales and floating stones... I stay here for awhile and then I jump off and continue through the hole until I land face down in a pyramid.

Here I am a slave, I have to move these certain rocks around and a woman is the queen, a cruel evil woman who has a whip and a gun. There are certain levels in the inside of this pyramid. On the top are two chairs- for the queen and king, then it slopes downward to where the common people go and then there is a sort of cliff, where you cant see the slaves working on the bottom level. We're all in a line and we're working on these ropes...or something. The queen, rarely goes down the steps to where the slaves are. My friends who are next to me decide to escape, they pull a stone out of the cliff and find a passageway into another place where they go in all first before me. I try to follow but my hips get stuck. They escape..

Then the queen comes down. She sees that I haven't been working constantly and comes towards me with her gun and whip in hand. I close my eyes and tuck my knees to my chest while she circles around me knowing that at any moment she might shoot me- she taunts me and makes fun of this moment. Then suddenly I jump up and grab the gun. I run to the right where there is a gaurd and I shoot him in the arm. then I continue running. I continue along the hall and yet again I see my father- but just my father- I tell him that he has to run because there's someone after me. I want his protection but he demands that he is in line and has to wait- this is in a sort of grey carpeted realm and he is standing in front of a door to a kind of black void. So I ignore him .

I continue running and can hear the queen behind me, she is close and I see a door and I pray to myself that it is the library. I run to the door and open and then I slam it before the queen catches up. Yet I know she could come in soon, so I have to hurry, I discard everything and search and search until I find that magical fireplace mantle where I know she appeared. I pray and pray, APPEAR APPEAR! then instead of the fairy- the magic porthole appears. I jump in quickly and find myself BACK in the spaceship. There i am holding the instructions. I think to myself that I could live here but the only place I'll ever be happy is my home. ....I keep thinking about home and then the hole appears I jump into it and I wake up with a start in my bed. I get up and go to the bathroom and look in the mirror, for a few moments I dont remember anything= and then it hits me- I remember the whole dream.