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Type: regular dream.
Lucidity: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Vividness: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Notes:
RCCW - roller coaster car wash.

My father, my sister and I were bringing in our car for a car wash. I didn't know the name of the building, only that we needed to wash our car really badly. We stepped inside once a man took our keys and got into our car, and into something very bizarre.

Right when you were to walk in, the room was big. It was rectangular-shaped, and the walls were painted a paler orange with white square accents, almost like the colors in some modern houses. What was directly in front of us, though, was even weirder: a roller coaster. I suppose it was some sort of attraction for while you're waiting for your car to be washed? It came from an open doorway to the right of the room, went in front of us, curled around the other side, and went back through another door on the right-hand side again. The roller coaster moved slowly, as there was no 'set time' to load yourselves on. You had to know when it was going to jerk and keep moving, so you didn't fall. But other than that, it was pretty safe.

The design of the cars were square, brighter orange, and a solid guard-rail on all four sides. You had to really jump in over these rails in order to get inside. Sooner or later, we were able to get in before the coaster moved on to the next room. In this new room, the roller coaster went up, and then down, and then up and down again on a gentler sort of slope. But then, there was a larger drop, followed by an inversion. When I woke up, I thought this was extremely stupid, since there were no restraints whatsoever on the cars. We'd have fallen out if the dream had used proper gravitational forces. I also kicked myself for not becoming lucid.

But this dream has two parts. The next section involves Wilson from the show House.

After the roller coaster, for some reason we didn't go back to the front of the building to pick our car up. Instead, the dream skipped a bit, and we found ourselves in a hospital setting. We were in a room, a spacious room, that looked like one of those divided hospital settings: one patient would be in the front portion of the room, and then on the other side of a curtain, another patient. However, there was no "dividing curtain" and no patients at all inside. There was only one regular (possibly a double?) bed with a baby blue throw. This was on top of the other white hospital blankets, of course. To the upper right of the bed, on the wall, was a larger bulletin board with photos of Wilson's wife, Amber. There were also birthday cards of some sort, letters, and notes. Somehow we knew that Wilson had died in this room; perhaps he was sick, or he had committed suicide. At the end of the room were a few large windows, horizontally placed across the entire wall. We walked slowly towards the windows and looked out. I saw regular, taller buildings.

The dream was now over.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

06.07.2010

SpSi (Non-lucid)

Spamano (from Axis Powers Hetalia) stuff that I unfortunately can't remember

Fighters (Non-lucid)

Like an anime or game...there was a team of fighters. Two were siblings (not sure about genders). One was 'light' and the other 'dark', each dressed in outfits kinda like Celty's from Durarara!! [full pic]. White and black in color of course. There were about six of them in this room...and I get the feeling there was other people, but.

At one point the two leaned on the front of a vehicle. Someone else (me?) was observing them off to the side, thinking that it was sad that it was hard for them to be together - 'dark' couldn't stay out in the light for too long because his powers/being came from the dark. But 'he' still went out to hang with 'light'. I'm pretty sure the vehicle was out in the dessert, too. o_o

Horror 2 (Non-lucid)

Horror. A woman was hanging from something I believe. Her hair was all clumpy and bloody. She cut her hair off until only a little was left on her head. She pretended to be dead as a guy came in/back. He caught her.

Note: Second horror dream... I think it's reflecting my stressful thoughts in real life. :/

I've pretty much no excuse for not doing anything beyond the basics in dreaming for the last few months. I still write down my dreams when I wake up, and I rarely have days where I remember nothing. Every night I still use autosuggestion as well.

But, I don't: write out the dream fully - I use keywords or fragments, I don't type them up in my computer/online DJ, I don't strive to remember more than I do, I don't go to bed earlier (my schedule is atrocious), I haven't even thought about lucid dreams lately. My last one was...July 6th 2009... Wow.

I'm the obsessive type person - when I get into something, it's all that holds my attention the vast majority of the time. It doesn't help when my friend gets into the same thing and so we're both obsessive together! Lately I've managed to pry myself away and get into a few other things again.

I got Meditation for Dummies from the library to see if I could pick up anything new, and...I have to say, besides picking apart my life (ow), it reminds me a lot of lucid dreaming in the area of awareness. It talks a lot about that at times.

Quote:

"You can increase your powers of awareness by developing concentration.

Then, when you've stabilized your concentration, you can, through the practice of receptive awareness, expand your awareness - like ambient light - to illuminate the full range of your experience.

Next, you can concentrate even further in order to [/B]cultivate[/B] positive emotions and mind-states. Or you can use awareness to investigate your inner experience and contemplate the nature of existence itself."

And it goes on to talk about each type of awareness. I'd love to quote more, buuut I shall refrain.

I'm also reading Our Dreaming Mind, which is pretty good so far! Apparently the last chapter is on Lucid Dreaming.

Lastly, I noticed that all my images are messed up in this DJ now... Besides that, I like the new layout.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

06.06.2010

Coin Stack (Non-lucid)

Me and R are robbers. I think it's in Walmart that we make the clerk give us these coins. They're not quite gold, more like silver. She says she only has 75 and I say that's fine. Each coin amounts to $1.

I think we were in a house at one point?

Keywords: Contingency plans, rent

Recording (Non-lucid)

I was looking through a video camera type thing at a recording of a guy. I pulled the device away to see a guy messing around beside me. I'm pretty sure this took place outside.

Horror (Non-lucid)

Horror movie type murder - suspense, woman character, it was dark

Hide and Seek (Non-lucid)

I woke up a LOT and had flashes of dreams when I did sleep, so I woke up after the previous dream, went back to sleep and fell into the same one, only it turned into hide and seek and not so much horror.

Keyword: A button

Igirisu! (Note)

RL: Riley woke me up (or I was already awake) and was meowing. I sat up and called out 'England' instead of 'Riley'. She proceeded to respond to the wrong name by jumping up on the bed.

Notes: 'England' comes from Axis Powers Hetalia as the anthropomorphic country and personification Arthur Kirkland. So I may have been dreaming of that, but not the actual United Kingdom in RL. =P

Originally Posted by Hannah4445

Thursday- May 27, 2o10
I was in a haunted house. I was a ghost; I could walk through walls and cool stuff like that. George, Autumn, Madisen, Mary, and Angela were all there too but they weren’t ghost. Yet… Only George could understand me so he was telling them what I was saying. I told them that they needed to head for the exit before it was too late and they all were killed. I told them I was killed by one of them but I didn’t remember who did it. I was very sad that I couldn’t remember. Everyone got very nervous then. I also suggested who should go together in groups in order to stay alive. I put Mary and Autumn together in a group and they both immediately started walking toward the exit. (smart girls) Angela insisted she go with George but Madisen didn’t want to be alone so she went with Angela. (poor George all alone…So I kept him company) We walked together toward the exit, just talking and joking. Then we heard it, a shrill scream. It was Angela.
We ran toward the sound hoping that Angela wasn’t dead, it was too late I could already see her ghost. Madisen had taken off running b/c she had just saw Angela be killed. I told Angela to make sure she was ok and to lead her toward the exit. Mary and Autumn were almost to the exit so I wasn’t worried at all. Angela returned, very upset, I saw that Madisen was also with her. (oh, no… I was gonna have to spend an eternity with these idiots! NOOOO!) Then, George’s cell phone rang. “Hello?” he said. “Hey, where are you guys? We are really freaked out, we heard two screams but we are already out. Do you need help in there?” Autumn and Mary yelled into the phone. “No, Im almost there.”
And then I knew who did it. I knew who had killed me. It was Autumn’s dad (he scares me in real life too. ) I told them and he told Autumn. We all got out and Me, Angela, and Madisen all turned back into our real bodies, we had solved the case. I guess we got our bodies back for that reason. George looked very releaved. He stared at me, then said, “I thought Id never see you again.” “No silly I was just on vacation.” I told him. We both smiled and laughed. (I like stupid jokes how bout you?) Then he took my hands and kissed me. I woke up then when my cat jumped on my bed. SABRINA!!!! WHAT THE HECK?!?!?!?! (you could tell I was very angry)

Originally Posted by Hannah4445

Thursday- May 27, 2o10
I was in a haunted house. I was a ghost; I could walk through walls and cool stuff like that. George, Autumn, Madisen, Mary, and Angela were all there too but they weren’t ghost. Yet… Only George could understand me so he was telling them what I was saying. I told them that they needed to head for the exit before it was too late and they all were killed. I told them I was killed by one of them but I didn’t remember who did it. I was very sad that I couldn’t remember. Everyone got very nervous then. I also suggested who should go together in groups in order to stay alive. I put Mary and Autumn together in a group and they both immediately started walking toward the exit. (smart girls) Angela insisted she go with George but Madisen didn’t want to be alone so she went with Angela. (poor George all alone…So I kept him company) We walked together toward the exit, just talking and joking. Then we heard it, a shrill scream. It was Angela.
We ran toward the sound hoping that Angela wasn’t dead, it was too late I could already see her ghost. Madisen had taken off running b/c she had just saw Angela be killed. I told Angela to make sure she was ok and to lead her toward the exit. Mary and Autumn were almost to the exit so I wasn’t worried at all. Angela returned, very upset, I saw that Madisen was also with her. (oh, no… I was gonna have to spend an eternity with these idiots! NOOOO!) Then, George’s cell phone rang. “Hello?” he said. “Hey, where are you guys? We are really freaked out, we heard two screams but we are already out. Do you need help in there?” Autumn and Mary yelled into the phone. “No, Im almost there.”
And then I knew who did it. I knew who had killed me. It was Autumn’s dad (he scares me in real life too. ) I told them and he told Autumn. We all got out and Me, Angela, and Madisen all turned back into our real bodies, we had solved the case. I guess we got our bodies back for that reason. George looked very releaved. He stared at me, then said, “I thought Id never see you again.” “No silly I was just on vacation.” I told him. We both smiled and laughed. (I like stupid jokes how bout you?) Then he took my hands and kissed me. I woke up then when my cat jumped on my bed. SABRINA!!!! WHAT THE HECK?!?!?!?! (you could tell I was very angry)

First off, I ended up not doing a nap WILD. But I aim to at some point when I get the chance.

I remember a dream where I was on the computer (surprise surprise) and I went on the game "Runes of Magic" and it seemed normal, and I would not have known it was a dream at all right now, had I not gone on this game after I woke up, I played the game and noticed something that wasn't there any more. And I then remembered, the time when I got that thing that isn't there any more, I was in a dream. (p.s. that thing I am referring to is a diamond)

-------------------------------

The last dream from this morning involved me and my cousin getting the death sentence, I can't remember the details of the dream, but I remember the whole big dream was us being brought on a big journey to where we get killed, I was very upset the whole time, except for bits when I tried to cheer myself up, then I would remember again what was about to happen. But it got to the point where I realised all the things I wanted to do with my life that I have not yet done, and I even said to my cousin (in tears) "I don't want to die, I have wanted to do so many things before I die, which I haven't done yet. I swear to god, I really hope there is a heaven, no joke".

I got very upset, and that was when I woke up, to find tears on my face.

I had never realised how scared of death I am.

Dream starts off in an long, ancient hall with wood floors and stone pillars. One side is open to the sea and the other is a line of small alcoves. I am my Chinese dream incarnate Chun-li, and I am married to a causasian man and have to children, a girl and a boy. My mother, an elderly Chinese lady also lives with us. The boy is just a baby but the girl is about 11 or 12 I think. I am very responsive and emotional towards my family, and my whole existance revolves around fulfillling thier every need, which I am more than pleased to do. Despite our sparce, limited space we are happy, though we never go into the water because it is filled with giant and dangerous creatures that swim near the edges of the sea waiting to make a meal of anyone unfortunate enough to get to close to the edge or fall in.

My daughter and I are arguing about her aquarium full of frogs, but I cannot remember why. I trip on something and fall onto the aquarium, smashing it to peices, greatly upsetting my daughter. There is water and frogs all over the floor but I do not clean it up as my attention is drawn to my mother who has fallen to the floor as well, having had a heart attack. I wail and cry over her body as she dies. I am so overcome with grief that I collapse on my fallen mother and die too, leaving my much dependant family to fend for themselves.

The dream kind of fast forwards, but follows my husband and children. My husband is overwhelmed and unable to keep the home safe from sea creatures (which I was able to do somehow) and taking care of our children is a great burden on him. Two giant eel like sea creatures repeatedly attack the homestead, forcing my family to flee the narrow stone hall to an open plain nearby. A steep cliff juts out at the end of the hall and a great, leafless Birch Tree is at the center of semi-circle alcove in the cliff.

Some time has passed and my husband is harried and absent minded and misplaces our son, while our daughter is somehow able to freely reach the high plateau at the top of the cliff and return at will. My husband finds our son stuck in the great Birch tree but doesn't know how to get him down. As he frantically tries to figure things out, he runs into two large men, one red haired and carrying a katana, and another tanned, dark-haired, muscular man carrying a large hammer-like weapon. My husband begs the men for assistance but they at first ignore him because they are attacked by the large eel like creatures that had been harassing my family before. The eels have been stalking my family and followed them from the ancient hall, unnoticed along the sea's edge.

Despite their large size and formidable weapons, the two men are unable to defeat the creature without the help of a female companion with whom they've been travelling. They call her in from the sidelines and it turns out to me, Chun-li, even though I am supposed to be dead. I appear alive, but I am cool, calculated and stoic. I am unresponsive to my husband and daughter's cries of surprise and if I recognize the members of my family I do not show it.

I have either a long thin sword like an epee or a silver magic wand and just by waving it in the direction of the eels I can give them a horrendous electrical shock, which does not kill them, but drives them away. I am unconcerned of the baby boy stuck in the tree and leave my large male companions to deal with it while I walk away, unemotionally. My male companions soon follow and leave my shocked and perplexed family behind.

Several years have passed and my male companions and I return to the great Birch tree area by the sea's edge. My husband and children are still there, but just as before I do not acknowledge them. My son has grown up and is in his early teens, while my daughter has not aged at all for some reason. My husband also looks the same though his is thinner and more visibly frazzled. My travelling companions and I are on some sort of mission which has led us back to this area, and we briefly make an excursion to the great plains on the plateau above, where my family now lives (where I see my daughter flying a red kite but I ignore her) before having to venture back into the ancient stone hall from the beginning of the dream. My son and daughter refuse to let me out of their lives again, even though I am still unresponsive to their needs, and they follow us into the hall. Reluctantly my timid, harried husband follows.

There are several encounters with the giant eels, and though I still act stoicly, I also go out of my way several times to save my children from danger. That convinces them that I do remember them and still care somehow and they pledge never to leave my side. I do not repond to their declaration, but they are no longer bothered by my unresponsiveness.

At some point my two large male companions disappear, as does my husband. I pass through the old hall where I used to live and for the first time since "returning to life" I show some response to the environment around me, especially when we come to the alcove where my daughter's aquarium had been. The floor is still wet and there is broken glass everywhere, as if the mess was still fresh and had never been cleaned up, but where the frogs had fallen before now there are tiny stone statues in the shape of the amphibians. The frogs having turned to stone has something to do with my daughter not aging, but I don't know exactly what the connection is and neither do my children.

We travel pass the former homestead and come to a covered deck like area that is open to the sea. A final battle of sorts is fought with the giant eels but this time my children are able to help me. They have somehow acquired minature versions of the katana and hammer that my previous travelling companions carried. When the eels are dispensed and my children jumping up and down and celebrating wildly, I enter another hall that goes to what looks like a vast furniture store, though it is empty of people, dimly lit, and the furniture is all covered in dust. On a table on the far side of the store there is a bowl full of smarties and chocolate chips, which I start stuffing into my pockets. I can hear my children looking for me and for some reason this fill me with apprehension.

My children find me and ask what I am doing to which I reply nothing, even though I continue to gather candies and put them in my pocket. My children continue to watch me and the dream ends there.

Original date 03/19/2006:

Took a nap, huge mistake

Had one of my nightmares and woke up feeling very unwell. I hate how they make me feel physically ill. I feel like I'm going to vomit. There wasn't anything particularly disgusting (to see) in it, but the nerves alone make me feel so queasy. This one came out of the blue and was very weird.

I had a nightmare that left me feeling ill, very ill... physically so, not to mention being coupled with the panic of half the lights in the house not working.

I dreamed that I lived alone in an apartment, on the first or second floor. There was a floor below me. Nobody ever saw the people who lived there (that I knew of). Everything was almost always dark in my dream - even lights were dim.
I dreamt that I temporarily sort of... descended from my own apartment into the apartment below. It was very dark, and there were very deep shadows when you could see anything at all, and there was a sort of shrine there, and there were two childlike entities, and they were whispering to each other, and there was a third entity, much smaller, like a baby.

I know I need to write this down but it makes my skin crawl just writing it down.

In any case, I felt that something was very wrong about this, and I ascended again. I don't know how or why I did this, except that I feel that in my dream it was nonphysical.
In my dream everyone heard odd noises that came from the apartment below mine all of the time. They bothered us immensely, but nobody ever spoke of them.
There were policemen who frequented the area, very fat jolly men, but they would not go near the place, or talk about it.

I dreamt that something happened with the family across the way, possibly (or possibly not) dealing with the apartment below. There was some sort of... incident... a loud and unmistakeable sound of some sort of scuffle, and of a baby (?) being killed... but everybody in the complex was too terrified to say anything, and then there was the other (possibly connected) incident that night with the family across the hall...

The family in the apartment across from me was a 'normal'ish family, with a husband and a wife and a son who was around 10 or 11 years old. I went over to check things out after one of the policement visited my apartment to check to see that I was ok. When I visited the family, I noticed that they had been interrupted while eating dinner, and that the little boy's bowl was unclean.
For some reason, I knew that it was a... aggressive? Challenging? move... but I offered to clean the little boy's bowl for them... they seemed reluctant, but allowed me to do so, and I took it to the sink in my own kitchen and cleaned it.
The policeman followed and chatted to me a bit, and then we went back to the other apartment, so that I could return the cleansed bowl to the family. When I did, I told the policeman that I wanted to say something about the odd sounds that I heard from the apartment below me.

The two policemen there (there was another, fatter one who had hung around with the family this whole time) looked very terrified. The family looked very frightened also, and the mother told me, "Don't mention such things". The other policeman told me, in hushed tones, "Those things are cower-worthy", to which I held up my hands in appeasement and said, "I'm cowering, but something needed to be said."

Then the dream ended, and I woke up feeling very ill, scared, and paranoid.

FURTHER EDIT:
Incidentally, on the earlier dream...

There was some sort of knife involved in the sacrifice/slaying. I don't know how I understood this in the dream, but I did.

I am a young east Indian woman living in an impoverished area with near a beach. I live with my husband, his parents, and another woman whom I call Auntie. My mother-in-law (MIL) and Auntie dote on me because I have no family of my own and I am pregnant. My husband and my father-in-law (FIL) work long hours during the day and are not around very often. In many ways the family is very traditional, but in other ways surprisingly liberal, as they permitted the marriage to my husband even though I was already pregnant with someone else's child. MIL and Auntie are convinced the child will be a boy, FIL remains silent on the issue, and my husband (who is always very kind to me) thinks it will be a girl becuase everyone else thinks it will be a boy. I do not tell my family, but somehow I instinctively or psychically know what the gender of the child is, and it is a girl.

The dream jumps ahead a few months and I have given birth to a girl like I knew I would. Despite wanting a boy, MIL and Auntie are happy to have a new addition to the family. The dreams jumps ahead again (it does this frequently) to when I am pregnant with my second child. I psychically know the child will be a boy but say nothing to the family since I know they are all hoping for a boy anyway. About the time I give birth to my son, FIL retires and it is up to my husband to support all of us by himself. We care very much for each other but we rarely get to spend time along together because of family obligations or one or both of us being too exhausted.

The dreams jumps ahead again. My daughter is now five years old and my son is now two. I am pregnant yet again. I have grown very close to MIL and Auntie but their traditional superstitions have them believing that bad fortune will befall the family soon. Unlike the previous pregnancies I have trouble telling what gender this child will be. I think it is a boy, though every time I close my eyes, put my hands on my belly and concentrate, a horrible sense of coldness and dread overcome me, but not because I sence anything evil, more like I am being engulfed in a vast, endless dark void. I do not tell anyone of these feelings.

Bad fortune does seem to befall the family early in my pregnancy though, as my husband loses his job, Auntie turns to prostituion for money, MIL falls ill and FIL becomes very depressed. FIL will not eat and soon he falls sick and dies. We have very little money from Auntie's street walking to buy food, and thus definately cannot afford to pay for creamation or ceremonial rites, so we have no choice but to leave FIL's body rotting in the streets just outside of our dismal hovel. MIL is soon consumed by a similar dispair that took FIL and we all fear that she will die soon. One night Auntie goes out to work the streets and never returns and all we can do is assume the worst.

When I am eight months pregnant a tall skinny man arrives at the door of our meger lodgings and claims to be my brother (he does look like one of my bros in real life actually). He says that he is worried about me having so many children and thinks that I should stop. My husband and MIL throw him out and warn him never to come back. The next morning there is a basket of fresh white lotus flowers outside of our door, which I am able to sell to street vendors and pedestrians for a few coins each because they are considered good luck by many people. MIL wants me to keep one for myself but I ignore her and sell the last one because I want to be able to afford to feed my newborn when it comes along. Almost immediately a terrible pain erupts in my abdomen and blood starts gushing from my vagina. I somehow make my way home, but it is too late - I have miscarried what would have been my second son. MIL and my husband are very sad and they shun me for awhile, which makes my grief over losing my third child even worse.

The dreams jumps ahead again and our family is experiencing more favourable times. I am close to MIL again, who is no longer sick or depressed, my husband is employed again, our surviving children are healthy and being educated, and I am pregnant again. This one is going to be a girl and I tell my MIL that I am able to predict the gender of the child, but didn't say anything before out of fear of being accused of insanity or witchcraft and being thrown out of the house. To my surprise MIL is very happy at my psychic ability and tries to convince me to use my powers to make money. I refuse because I fear that if I reveal to some expecting couples that they will have a girl rather than a boy, they will then voluntarily abort the female fetus or abandon the baby girl upon birth (which is a very real problem in India actually).


The dream ends there.

I believe this may be a past life dream.

Original dream dated July 04, 2008:
Dreamed that Reese and I were trying to get home from an airport called Mariana airport, and we couldn't. Mom was supposed to pick us up, but never showed up, so we took the bus instead. Somewhere along the line, it turned into Reese driving her jeep, and we got stuck in traffic on the Interstate. It turned out that Mom had never planned on picking us up and there had been a miscommunication. For some reason, we lived in a 2-story white house.

I had a dream that my pet rabbit had a heart attack and was dying, so I wrapped her up in a purple towel and cried while she groomed my head.

Original dream dated July 05, 2008:
I had a dream that I was working on rules for a D20 game, and they turned into rules for the world...

Somewhere along the way, we got invaded by alien wasps that climbed up your nose and replaced your brain, stealing your soul. It happened to me, and I wasn't technically supposed to get another 'chance' at working things out in the world, but for some reason, I was given one. I had to abide by the rules I'd written, though, which stated that if you lost then it would rain forever and everything would be covered by 500 feet of soil over the next few thousand years. I escaped from the original area (which was quite dangerous) with some friends of mine, including a tall brown-haired man. We got to a coffee shop and tried to figure out what to do. We were sort of stuck in there, at least one of us was covered in blood, and I realized that we were all doomed unless I recovered the book I'd been working on and revised the rule set. The brown haired guy offered to run through the rain for several miles to get it, but it was very dangerous out there and there were zombies, and I argued that if he died it was permanent but I could revive myself... the dream left off there.

I am on a vast beach of pale yellow sands, under a pale orange sky. There are some dunes in front of me and the eerily calm ocean behind me. On the other side of the dunes is a large flat area where I can see several mounds from which smoke is pouring out. Upon closer inspection of these mounds I find that they are actually holes in the ground that are overflowing with smoldering debris. The burnt materials includes large chunks of wood and scraps of metal or plastic, and partial or complete bodies of dead children. The skin of the dead children was a ghastly gray colour where the flesh remained uncharred and completely black where it was. The uncharred, grey flesh was cracked and peeling, like it was made of leather or something. Their eye sockets were all empty and their tiny mouths agape as if in a perpetual silent scream. I suspect that these smoldering mounds were someone's attempt to cover up some horrific crime and I quickly retreat from there, feeling ill, angry and downright disturbed.

I see a gathering of people in the dirtance and walk towards them. When I am close enough I can see that it is a large group of men, of varying ethnicities, wearing white robes and sitting in four large groups. The groups are arranged in four sqaure patterns and every man is sitting facing due wast. There are several men in black robes walking in slow circles around the large group. I am approached by one of these men and I notice as he gets closer that he is leading a child by the hand. The child looks exactly the same as the dead children in the smoldering mounds - gray, cracked skin, empty eye sockets, etc. except that this child is very much alive. The child's head turns in my direction, lips moving as if to say something, but the man in the black robe interupts and tells me that I am not welcome there, because I am a woman, before continuing on his way with the child in tow.

I see that all of the men in black robes are leading living dead children around, and all of them divert from their circular march around the large group, at least once, to tell me to that I am not welcome there because women are not allowed. I ignore all of them and go where I damn well please. I try to get information about the dead children, and the condition of the living children, but no one will answer me, but neither does anyone try to force me to leave: they just express their disapproval of a woman being there, then go about their way.

The sun begins to set and the large group of men in white robes begin to chant in a monotonous, unfarmiliar language. I skip through the gaps in their group and revel in the fact that I am someplace where I am not welcome, especially because of a trivial social construct such as gender. While I get a few angry or condescending looks, none of the men stop chanting or try to force me out. Since I cannot get any answers from anyone about the children, I eventually wander elsewhere.

I am seeking treasure in a vast underground cavern. I am with two people: a tall, muscular man with a goatee and a young, blond woman who has several weapons in her belt. The three of us are not acquaintances, but are working together out of convenience. I cannot rememeber much from the beginning of the dream, but the three of us find our way to a large chamber filled with bubbling lava. There is a narrow metal walkway that leads to a square platform in the center of the room, but no platform beyond that which would lead to the platform and door on the far side of the lava chamber that we are convinced contains the treasure we are seeking.

My companions and I reach the center platform and see two glowing, circular blue tiles on it that seem to have no obvious function. We suddenly notice three sets of gymnast rings, beyond the center platform, that can be used to swing across to the far platform. When the three of us have done so, the young blond woman runs ahead and disappears through a door that I assume leads to the next chamber. I try to follow her but the large goateed man grabs me roughly by the shoulders and says that I am not needed anymore. He is very strong, so I cannot escape his grasp, and I begin to panic when he lifts me up and prepares to throw me into the lava.

He tosses me high and far and luckily I am able to grab the first set of rings and swing myself to the center platform. The man yells angrily at me but does not follow. I do not consider why he does not follow until I am in the middle of the narrow walkway when the blond woman appears in the doorway that we first came through. I have no idea how she circled around behind me but I am more concerned with the gun that she is brandishing in her hand. I run back towards the center platform and try to figure out what to do next. The woman makes her way down the narrow walkway and I get the idea to stand on one of the blue tiles. When I do so the narrow walkway sinks into the lava and takes the now screaming woman down with it. I can hear the man behind me using the rings to come towards me so I step on the other blue tile and the rings detatch from their teathers and the man too falls screaming into the lava.


I cannot remember anymore of this dream.

The dream starts off with me walking down a road, clasping a beige canvas bag tightly to my chest. It feels as if there are books or stacks of paper in the bag. I am about 12 years old and wearing a light blue sweater over a white shirt, a grey skirt, and black dress shoes. I know that I am on my way to my art teacher's house but the neighbourhood I am walking through is unfamiliar and I do not recognize it as any place I know in waking life. The sky is clear and the air light, but there are no people on the streets and I do not see any cars on the road.

I walk past a small house that has an open window on the ground floor. Through the window I can see a television set and there is a local news station reporting the death of a man named Robbie Ritchie. A photograph of the man is displayed and he has dark brown hair and eyes, is slightly tanned and has a stubbly chin. The dead man seems vaguely familiar. I continue walking for a few blocks more until I come to my art teacher's house and brush lucidity with the thought that it looks nothing like her house in waking life (I do not become lucid however). It is a three story townhouse with blue wood panelling and an enclosed garage (with dark brown paneling) to one side.

As I approach the cement stairs that lead up to the front door, a man who is crying comes rushing out of the apartment and quickly turns towards the garage and disappears inside. The man looks exactly like the dead man on t.v except that he has sandy blond hair and is clean shaven. I walk up the stairs and into the apartment. My art teacher, Ms. V, looks exactly as she currently appears in walking life. There is a young, thin, blond woman sitting at the same table. I do not recognize her as anyone I know. The young woman appears to be about 16 or 17 years old and is wearing a white sweater over a light blue shirt and a long black skirt. Ms. V and Blondie are sitting at a white table doing arts and crafts. The white table intersects another table that contains a pile of towels and more craft supplies. Blondie is knitting something with dark blue yarn and Ms. V is sorting bits and peices of fabric into several small bins.

I put my canvas bag down on a clear space on the long white table and ask Ms. V who the man rushing out of her apartment is. She says that his name is Sean before turning her full attention back to sorting. I then ask her if she knows anyone by the name of Robbie Ritchie. Ms. V continues to sort the fabric bits and gives me a peculiar stare, but says nothing. The young blond woman says that Sean is Robbie's younger brother and is upset because he just found out about Robbie's death. I heard what the young blond girl said, but I did not respond. I do not know exactly what, but there was something about the blond girl that annoyed me and I wanted nothing to do with her.

I started looking over the many art and craft supplies on the tables when Ms. V rose suddenly and started to leave. She said something about talking to Sean before she disappeared out the front door. I was not thrilled at being left alone with the blond girl whom I did not know and did not like. She started talking to me about something and for the most part I pretended to listen and did not respond beyond nodding my head at irregular intervals, so I cannot remember now what she said. I am sure that it was nothing important anyway.

I needed a cloth for something and started looking through the pile of towels on the far table for one. I mistook the dishtowel on the top as a cloth and was confused when I picked it up and discovered what it really was. I cannot remember now why I wanted a cloth, but I do recall becoming very frantic because I could not find one.


The dream ends there. I do not know anyone named Robbie (or Sean) Ritchie and I do not know what the significance of learning about his death in my dream is.

There is an old farmhouse and barn in front of me. I can see an older couple working in field out back. I am not sure which, but the couple is either just really old fashioned pioneers or menonites. There is a doorless shed by the east side of the house and I wandered into it. Along with an assortment of old fashioned farming implements, homemade brooms line the far wall. I ask the old mennonite man if I can buy one when he comes over to see what I am doing tresspassing in his shed. Instead I am hired (or forced?) to become a live-in-maid to keep the farmhouse clean.

The mennonite couple disappear and a new couple appear as owners of the farmhouse. They are still older, but they look like they come from the Victorian era. I cannot think of anyone whom the lady of the house (the Mistress) looks like, but the man of the house (the Master) looked very much like Christopher Walken. The outside of the farmhouse looked the same, as did the barn, but the doorless shed disappeared and a long covered porch now wrapped itself around the east side of the house.

The inside of the house was still mainly Victorian/Edwardian era but seemed to have some seemingly out-of-place modernizations scattered randomly about. Though the house wasn't all that large, there was another maid who lived there as well. We usually worked together and while I was relatively pragmatic, the other maid was extremely superstitious and constantly tried to convince me that every creak, or misplaced object, was caused by ghosts. I did not believe in the ghosts theory and tired to argue that the house was old and prone to creaking and that objects get misplaced all the time, but the other maid would have none of it.

The other maid and I were asked to clean out the sothern rooms of the farmhouse because the Master wanted to convert them into a variety store. It was at this time that I started to see unusal things happen, like curtains move when there was no breeze, electrical cords pull themselves from the wall, and doors open and close by themselves. In the main hall, drops of blood fell from the ceiling and pooled on the floor. No matter how many times the other maid and I cleaned up the blood, it always reappeared the next day. Most frustrating was the fact that the Master and Mistress of the house never experienced anything strange, nor saw the blood, and would dismiss our complaints as nonsense.

I was now convinced that the house was haunted afterall, but was still not all that creeped out until the drops of blood from the ceiling became bloody bootprints that appeared decending the stairs and entering the southern rooms. At one point I was cleaning something in the main hall and heard footfalls on the stairs. I turned and saw not the Master as I was expecting, but the bloody bootprints. I quickly tried to duck into one of the adjacent rooms, but the double glass doors either locked of their own accord or jammed. I quickly spun around so that my back was pressed up against the glass doors and the lights in the hall began flickering. The temperature in the room dropped dramatically and I could see my breath. I was frozen in terror as I watched the bloody bootprints slowly and ominously stomp towards me. I cowered and shut my eyes, but just before they reached me, the sound of the footfalls disappeared, the room temperature returned to normal, and the lights stopped flickering. The glass doors behind me swung open and I made a hasty exit from the main hall and ran into the other maid, who saw everything from the other side of the glass doors.

Not only did the other maid quit after that but the bloody bootprints following me around the house became a common occurance. While it did take me a while to get used to, I eventually figured out that if I made no attempt to run from the ghostly follower, or try to clean up the bloody mess, the ghost would soon leave and the bloody mess would eventually disappear on its own.

I was standing in the southern room at one point, brainstorming ideas for the variety store, when I was summoned by the Master. I went to his private study in the north end of the house and when I got there, he lectured me on how no women in his household should leave the premises without a male escort. I realized at this time that I had never so much as stepped out onto the porch in all my time of working there as a maid, let alone leave the property. I got angry and shouted "There is my escort!" I pointed to the bloody bootprints that followed me into the room and the Master finally sees them for the first time, but says nothing.

Almost immediately after the lecture, I began to see ghosts in and around the farmhouse. The first is a little boy in a blue coat and white shorts, playing with an orange ball, near the pond at the front of the house. One Sunday I am sitting with the Master and Mistress and their guests when I get up and go into the kitchen for something. When I return, there is an old man sitting in my seat. He looks exactly like the character Oscar Leroy from the show Corner Gas (baseball cap and all). I recognize him as a friend of the family in the dream and he starts telling me about how it is his birthday. I realize that the old man is a ghost and I exclaim outloud to the Master and Mistress that their friend is dead, but everyone in the room just looks at me like I am crazy. Some get angry because they think I am being disrespectful since they know that man I am talking about and that it is his birthday.

I beg the Master to call the family of their friend but they wil not. The ghost of the old man gets up and asks me to follow him outside into the front yard. I do so, and the family and their guests follow me to see what I am up to, though I suspect it is just to observe me because they think I have lost my mind. The ghost of the old man tells me about how he died peacefully in his sleep, and as a hearse drives by in the distance, he points to the completed variety store at the southern end of the house and to says "Never stop writing down your ideas." The ghost then fades away. I walk over to the pond (though it looks more like a muddy pit at this moment) and stare quietly into the murky water. The Master comes over to me and finally says that he will get someone to call the family of his friend, to confirm his condition, because no one else yet believes that the old man is dead.

The Mistress runs out of the house and proclaims that their friend is dead and that it was self-inflicted. While everyone reacts to the news of their friend's suicide, I walk away saying "He lied to me!" (about how the old man said he died). Later, the Master, Mistress and guests are sitting around talking about how strange it was that someone would want to kill themselves on their birthday, but no one seems particularily upset at the loss of thier friend. I am disturbed and upset at their apparent apathy.


The dream ends there.

The birthday-suicide thing is something that I had been ruminating about for a few days because I struggle with suicidal ideation as a result of clinical depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.

There is a some sort of family gathering in a small house. I think it is my grandma's old house, but I am not sure. There are many people , some I recognize as members of my family, and some that do not resemble any person I know in waking life. There only seems to be three rooms; the kitchen, the living room, and the basement. The kitchen does not have a table or chairs but there is a green sofa against one of the walls. The living room is sparse as well and only has a white loveseat and a large screen television. Needless to say, most of the people in the house were standing as they socialized.

There were some people in the kitchen preparing food and some people standing around with drinks. I was in the kitchen but I was not preparing food or drinks, nor was I socializing. I didn't want to be there and I felt very tired and bored. I sit down on the green sofa, curl up on one end and start to drift off to sleep. I can hear my dad come into the room and everyone starts asking him what's wrong with me, as if they can sense the fact that I don't want to be there. I cannot hear exactly what my dad is saying except that he is going around the room and apologizing to everyone.

I wake up when I feel someone sit on the other end of the sofa. I sit up and see that it is Uncle Doug. He is making rude and offensive jokes about women and everyone in the room (which I notice at this point is all male) laughs along with him. I am disgusted but I cannot think of anything to say. Uncle Doug turns to me, grabs my arm and asks if I am "cool" with the jokes he is telling. I scream at him not touch me and to stuff his misogyny up his ass. He gets embarassed and apologizes and asks if I am offended, and even though I am, for some reason I say no.

Everyone starts to head down stairs and I get up off the green sofa so that it can be carried into the basement. I start washing dishes because I am too pissed off to talk to anyone. Dinner is being served in the basement and everyone is down there, but I refuse to join them because I still feel raw about the incident with Uncle Doug.

I climb up on the kitchen counter and look out the window, but instead of seeing a backyard at groud level, the view is from several storeys up and I am looking down upon what appears to be a train station. There are many people walking around or just standing on the boardwalk as a passenger train very slowly pulls out of the station. Out of the corner of my left eye I see a frieght train appear out of nowhere and slam into the back of the passenger train at a great speed. I watch in horror as the frieght train cars pile up on each other and onto the boardwalk, violently crushing some of the people who had been standing there. I feel helpless because I cannot do anything but neither can I look away, even as people continue to be crushed and mangled by the crashing trains.


Then the vividness of the terror and sheer graphic nature of the train crash woke me up.