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I was in my home. Brother came back from work in Switzerland, and made a party. We were drinking vodka and wine. Lots of them. There were many bottles spread across the whole house. Piles of bottles, each of them different. We were drinking and talking. When the last bottle was empty, we took a taxi cab to the local shop. They told the driver that we need to buy more vodka. I yelled And what about me!?? Driver replied They haven't forgot about you. and handed me a bottle of wine. We walked down the street from the shop, and went to my house by foot, to drink much more. My abilities to walk and see weren't impaired, but I felt stronger and stronger urge to drink.

*I was completely drunk when I came back from my friends 18th birthday. It was a special occasion, so I broke my rules to never drink too much. That's the effect.*

A phrase: "Catherine, and the first dream of a 2000 year-"

There had been a queen long ago named some variation on Selene - I admired her, and I've been looking after all the generations of her descendants ever since. In a few rare circumstances I'll even take one of her descendants in and raise them myself. Some resemble her a great deal, others don't - I think about bloodlines. Now one of her descendants is in love with me, and she's upset that I've told her I would be happy with a platonic relationship or otherwise, leaving the decision entirely up to her - she wants me to feel more strongly about it. She says if I would be happy with a platonic relationship, I can't really care about her. But I've been a presence and an influence in her life since she was born, and I foresaw this moment before she was born - I've had too much influence. I want to influence her as little as possible in this at least. It has to be entirely her decision.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I've had too much to drink, and I'm making my way back to my hotel room with some woman, past the now-abandoned maypoles in the lobby, litter from the party on the floor. My vision's blurry, and I have this mental monologue about how I must be getting old if the drink's messing with my vision like this. She pushes me onto the bed, and my vision blurs more - through that blurred vision, her hair's much longer now. Also she has wings, white feathers. Fuck, I know this demon. There goes my night. She sits on the edge of the bed and tells me she wants what I promised her on the night I abandoned my child. I have a memory of taking him (? I think it was a him) to a border of some kind and making him cross, so that he'd be safely out of my reach. The demon's crawled onto the bed now, and when I tell her she's out of luck, the thing we got that night is already gone, she phases her hands through my chest, squeezes and twists something inside that shouldn't be squeezed or twisted.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

Setting's a fantasy version of ancient China, a king in his bedroom talking to a priestess all in white via a vision in a mirror. He was telling her about people who will be coming her way, intending to use a sacred object in her care. But she's saying that what they want isn't possible - they've misunderstood its purpose. The portal it opens can't be used to take them to the divine realms. She says, "(something) and onyx must not overlap."

I've hidden a human girl in my room, and I'm trying to distract my "sister" so the human will have a chance to escape. It's not difficult - we don't get along at all, so it's easy to pick a fight. We both look and act like and possibly really are teenagers. I walk away from her, giving the impression that I want her to leave me alone, knowing that's the easiest way to make sure she'll follow me. Looking for a drink, I walk into a room where my "sister's" left a human girl lying semi-conscious on the floor. I hate her parties - I hate living here in general; it's like living in a frat house. That's part of why I want to help that human escape - I know she's been investigating us but I don't care, I really, really dislike these people. I haven't been here long, maybe a week, and I'm hoping my "father" will decide to move again soon. I pick up a nearly-empty bottle, take a drink - alcohol. I spit it out and pick up another bottle. I ask the semi-conscious girl, hey, is this my sister's drink? She doesn't answer me, and I wasn't really expecting her to. I drink it anyway. Yes, this one's my "sister's." I hate the taste of bottled blood, but it's what I'm used to. Keeping the bottle, I walk outside.

The yard out back is huge, and ends in a fence with barbed and electric wires running along the top. As I'm walking along the edge of that fence, I come across a padlocked gate. It opens directly onto a dirt road, and on the other side of the road there's another gate - no locks on this one - opening onto a trail leading into the woods. There's something intensely familiar about this - it bothers me. I have the feeling I've seen this a long time ago, like some childhood memory. I say something about this to my "sister," but she doesn't see why that would bother me. As I'm trying to explain the odd feeling, I'm distracted by a sound from the other side of the fence, way off to our right.

On the side of the fence opening directly onto the woods, there's two people who look like hikers trying to climb the fence and look inside. They're talking to each other cheerfully, wondering what they've come across and what the barbed wire's for - to keep something out or in? It's to keep you out, I tell him as I lean over the wires, grab him and smash his head against the wooden part of the fence. It's to keep them out for their own protection, otherwise this happens. My "sister" has taken the woman he was with. Then I hear voices from the woods - they weren't alone. While my "sister's" still busy with hers, I jump over the fence and run down the other three hikers. I find myself humming as I do so - when I've finished, I realize I'm thinking of the tune as an old drinking song from the 1800s. That's odd - I wasn't alive then, where do I know that song from? I have a vague impression of enjoying myself while singing that song in a situation much like this. I look at the hiker I'm still holding, and I think, just a little while ago I was having a conversation with someone killing a rabbit, and I'd said that it wasn't the death I objected to, it was the attitude behind it, the lack of respect. What a hypocrite I am.

I'm sitting at the foot of the banquet table at the McKittrick as the Macbeths come down the stairs. They're drunk. Lady Macbeth's laughing, leaning against her husband. There may or may not be others sitting around the banquet table with me - I have a vague impression of shapes in the chairs, but they're insubstantial. I'm not sure how visible I am, for that matter.

Macbeth picks up his lady and carries her to the dais with her legs wrapped around his waist. He takes her to a chair set against the wall, not at the table, and as he lets her go he says something into her ear, much too quietly for me to hear. As he walks away she says, suddenly serious, "I doubt it." He comes to stand over the banquet table, clumsy movements, overconfident attitude. I'm enjoying watching him, and the sense of anticipation.

This was a long dream, and I can't recall how all of these plot elements tied together. It started off with me going to some kind of frat party at my college. (Something I would NEVER do IWL, my introvert powers would make sure of that.)
I expected the party to be wild but for some reason, everyone is dressed up in fancy suits/coats and wearing those feathery eye masks. The party is mostly men, but there are a few women as well. The setting is fancy as well, the inside of the frat house is decorated in a sort of modern/oriental way. I recall the walls have this wood paneling and there is this beautifully carved bamboo furniture.
At some point or other, I was approached by some of the masked people. These were the leaders of the frat or something and they have masks that cover their entire faces. I think one of the guys is wearing Amon's mask from LOK. They are holding a silver tray and on it is a paper cup filled with this steaming yellow liquid.
They say that I must drink it... no reason why really... I just have to drink it or bad things will happen. I reluctantly pick up the cup, and hold it to my mouth. I can smell the fumes. The liquid has a nutty, oily aroma. (Oooh, I smelled something in a dream, that's a first.) I then cautiously take a sip and instantly feel very sleepy and pass out on the floor.
...
What followed were a couple of vague flashes of me trying to leave the college.
...
When I came to, I was driving my family's old van up to my house. I had the worst taste in my mouth and I knew it was from the yellow oil stuff I had drank earlier. I parked the van in the driveway and got out.
A police officer pulled up. He was a tall, muscular man with short black hair and a full beard/mustache, probably in his 30's. He told me in a kind voice that he wanted to talk to me about my driving skills.
I asked him if he could give me one moment. My voice was muffled and I felt like I was gagged. I felt my cheeks and I was, with my bandanna. It was tied very tightly around my head. After a minute or so of finagling with the knot, I was able to get it off, and then spit out some of that nasty oil that I had drank earlier. I felt very sleepy and unfocused. I wasn't drunk, but defiantly under the influence of something.
The officer said he wasn't going to write me a ticket, but what he had in store for me was much worse: a lecture on safety and driving. He started lecturing me about driving when I drink these substances, but I had some intense motivation for driving the van home in this half awake state and I was fighting to explain it to him. But I couldn't recall what the motivation was.
...
This somehow blended into a dream scene where I was home. I think this was the next day. The police officer had come in to have breakfast with us. I had been grounded from driving by my parents. In the dream, it was Friday, and I realized that I needed to get to my drawing class, but I couldn't drive myself.
For some reason it was my mom's friend who was supposed to be driving. She was having breakfast with us too. (We were all sitting in the kitchen and my mom was making waffles.)
I was a bit anxious to go, and the clock read something like 11:93. I thought that meant that it was broken and it was really 12:33.
So great... I've already missed half my class.
And, almost as if it were put in the dream just to annoy me, my mom's friend is eating the waffles in super slow motion. Eventually I just figured 'forget it' I'm going to miss my drawing studio class anyways, and just went up to my room.

I think this was a completely separate dream. This one was pretty vivid. I was visiting some beach area with Manei. We have parked far away and have to hike through the woods to get there. Supposedly we are investigating alien activity and other planets.
Okay, that is like every major dream sign that I have in the first paragraph. I guess I was semi lucid though, so we're getting back on track... slowly.
We hiked through the woods until eventually we came to this sand dune. We climbed up it and all of the sudden we were out in the open.
I recall this scene very vividly. There was a huge, broad, sandy valley with a river running through it running into the sea out in front of us. To the left are some mountains. Down in the sandy valley, just to the right of the river is a massive grey alien head (looking to be about 40-50 feet across), face up, eyes open in the sand.
Manei gets all excited because this shows a connection to what is on Mars. She get out this futuristic Ipad device with a clear screen and shows me a picture, from pretty much the exact angle we are looking at. The topography looks very similar, though it is on the polar ice cap of mars. The valley looks the same and the alien head is in the same position and some orientation.
I think that the alien heads were like telepathic nodes or something, but I can't remember...

Spoiler for Marcus:

And completely out of the blue, here is a drawing I did of one of my persistent DCs, Marcus. (I am by no means an art god, but I think this came out pretty good. My roommate thinks he looks like Walter White. I think he looks more like a combination of Steve Jobs and the guy from Vsauce. But that's basically his character,so, yeah.)

Sorry, I couldn't get it to not be tiny. I'll try and fix that later.

I got on an elevator expecting it to go up, this being the ground floor - there's only one floor above us, and only arrows instead of floor numbers. But it went down. I wonder how many basement levels there are. I reach to press the up arrow, saying something about my mistake to the woman still on the elevator with me. I'm new to this building. We talk about the company a bit as the elevator continues down, about finding your way around the various floors, and various luxuries that are provided for employees. I mention soul-selling and Satan, meaning it as a joke, but she talks about Satan fondly. We reach her floor, and she leaves.

My point of view switches to follow her - she walks down a hallway into a club. Her brother who goes by the name of Beelzebub - a fake name, it's really Samael - is lounging around with a cocktail glass in his hand, some glowing blue drink inside. He's a pretty man with long dreadlocks, wearing something black covered in stylized eyes in red. The woman's removed the pale coat she was wearing on the elevator, and the dress she's wearing underneath matches her brother, black and covered in stylized eyes in red. They consult about someone he describes as "a friend and a most simple prize."

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

There's this swirling black mass of many colors, like an oil slick, lit up from within like lightning seen from above. I'm eager to dive in immediately - it's a portal - but I'm also thinking I should stop and go lucid first. As I'm torn between these two desires which are apparently conflicting, I wake up.

(Side note: that last was a reaction to trying reality checks. As a rule I'm not interested in them, but I have a lot of false awakenings that I tend to just spend dream journaling and I thought I could put reality checks to use there. So today I tried a reality check as I wrote that first dream up, and apparently this sort of thinking is the immediate result - associating lucidity with stopping what I'm doing to perform an action. Nuisance.)

Setting loosely based on China some centuries ago. There's two men standing on either side of a gateway; they used to know each other a long time ago, but not anymore. The one inside's a soldier; the one outside used to be. Currently he's drunk and being held up by two soldiers who work under the one inside. The one inside is deciding whether or not to have the other one executed. In the end he decides against it and says something along the lines of "Get this drunkard out of my sight."

As a disembodied observer, I'm thinking that he's going to regret that decision. In a few years they'll be rivals who both want something or someone, and the other man will win. I see an image of that future, where the man currently standing inside that gate is now watching the other man from a distance. He's thinking back to this moment and wondering what would have happened if he'd executed him then.

I'm at friends place in Cairo. He is preparing a huge feast.
I am somewhat confused because we keep switching between English and French.
Eventually I end up on the balcony and become lucid when I realize that I am far too comfortable speaking French.
(After living in Germany for 7 years, I no longer am)
I decide to jump off the balcony (3th or 4th floor I think) to change the scene.
(I don't know why I've been doing this lately. It's not a very good means of changing scenes)

I end up on the beach, which is a recurring dream scene.
It is always dawn whenever I get here. The sky is a nice warm orange.
Walking bare feet over the sand is very pleasant.
I pick up some sand and play with it as I walk towards an area of interest.
Usually the beach is empty, but occasionally I find something interesting.

This time there is a rectangular black frame.
Once I get closer I can see that the frame is not empty.
It refracts light in an odd way, and taints everything purple.
Almost as if there was a very thin layer of a purple liquid.


I poke it with my right index finger. It buzzes me and ripples begin forming on the surface.
The feeling is rather pleasant. It tingles a little.
I drag my finger across it, creating complex patterns with the ripples.
At least a minute goes by until I realize that I'm not being very productive.
I step through the frame, which I assume is a portal to another place.

I end up on another beach. It is similar to 'my beach', except that there are quite a few people here.
There's also a few tents, and music! I try to engage more of my senses and make the music louder.
I feel a familiar presence and move towards it.

Close to the water I find some people dancing, a few others relaxing, having drinks that glow in the dark...
and Crow. Sitting in a fucking Sofa, whereas everyone else is sitting in the sand.

He's telling some grand story of his, and everyone seems quite captivated by it.
Every single time... This bird really does know how to tell a story.
Always surrounded by women, always a drink within reach. Dude knows how to have a good time.
He senses me as I approach closer.

"Yooooooooooo!"
"Yo."
"Hyu mate, how have you been?"

I don't really have any time to answer before he starts bombarding me with more questions.

"How's Yuya? And the other one? The cute one with horns and the tail?"
"Liv..."
"The one with the big boobs."
"Really Crow? She's called Liv."
"She is rather well endowed though."
*Sigh*
"How did you get here anyways?"
"This place ain't exactly on the grid."
"Walked through a purple portal on a beach created by my subconscious mind."
"..."
"You dreamers, you're all a bit messed up in the head."
"Subconscious here, Dream Guide there. Something something awareness and lucidity. I don't understand any of it."
"That's okay Crow. Neither do we."

We both laugh.

Some naked lady with an absolutely amazing body painting brings drinks.
They all glow in different colors. I take the blue/orange one.

"Cheers mate."

It is a rather strong alcoholic beverage. It's quite fruity, a little sweet.
Judging by the amount of empty glasses, Crow has consumed an amount of alcohol that would easily be lethal to any human being.
But he's Crow. I'm not even sure if he can get drunk.

Crow resumes telling his story. It's about space ships and smuggling...

I'm not really paying attention though. I look at the people dancing.
They all have these really cool glowing body paintings.
It's quite fascinating.

Later I talked with Crow some more, but I can't remember what the conversation was about.

3rd person, following a blond guy named Colin. He's frustrated with his relationship, and as he's lying in bed, he decides to invade the dream of an ex-boyfriend. The ex, a kind of hippie-looking guy with curly hair, is in another relationship now and doesn't want to cheat, even in a dream, which Colin thinks of as ridiculous but also part of why he's fond of this guy, so he just transforms himself to look like the ex's current boytoy.

But a stray thought about the failed relationships he's had since this guy causes the dream scene to change to show those relationships. (Meaning my dream, not Colin-and-his-ex's dream.) For a while he'd been hooking up with a demon, who was a real sweetheart but they never managed to turn it into anything more serious than occasional hookups. Then for over a year he'd lived with this guy who works at the expat bar, and Colin can't believe he put up with that guy for so long - great lay but massively uncomfortable with witchcraft. He would never even set foot in the basement where Colin worked, and he'd make these 'in the closet' jokes about 'broom closets' and then explain the joke every time, hahah, closet, broom closet, witches, get it - what a douche. Colin thinks he should've done it the other way around - hookups with the bartender, move in with the demon.

3rd person. Some centuries ago this guy's life was ruined by getting mixed up with a demonic creature using the name Elinar, which looks vaguely like a rabbit. (Or possibly Elihar. Can't read my own writing.) Now he's working together with a witch, and when he visits her in her workshop for the first time, he finds Elinar there, serving as her familiar. Up until this moment neither he nor the witch had been aware of the other's connection to Elinar, and now a lot of the 'coincidences' that led them to work together are starting to look suspicious.

Fragments from earlier: A woman pretending to be blind is followed by men in black suits, who aren't aware she can see them. A musician reminisces about the time about a hundred years ago when he'd played for a town that had never heard of alcohol, and found the place surprisingly refreshing.

I'm drinking with a dead soldier from ancient Greece, and we started out talking about Dionysus and Hades but we've gotten around to talking about Chiron in comparison to Buer, and he complains to me that Chiron's been greatly misrepresented, which he blames on a line in Homer that people take out of context. He says that Homer had some nerve to characterize the guy as overly fastidious while he was killing everything "from here to Salamacia" - meaning some campaign they'd been on together, and I see the soldier's memory of Chiron washing the blood and dirt off in a river, stripped to the waist and with so much blood on his hands it looks nearly black. He's human; extraordinarily tall, but human.

I'm traveling, spending the night in an old stone tower. Thranduil's standing watch out in the woods, I can see him through the window. The rain's coming down pretty hard, much harder than it was during my watch and I'm still trying to warm up, sitting up brewing something hot to drink. I'd like to call him back inside, let him stand watch from the window instead, but I know he wouldn't. Everyone's still on edge about that Balrog. I hear voices at the bottom of the tower, one of the Men with us calling to Thranduil, telling him to quit haring off on his own like that. I can't see where Thranduil's gone, but the two Men who'd been guarding the door are looking around the edge of the woods. Then a leather wing covers the window for a moment and blocks my view, something flapping around the tower carrying a rider, and I shout to the others to wake up.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I'm sitting at a bar drinking something green in a shot glass, when iron handcuffs are snapped around my wrists. Some crime has been committed, something which I'd planned to do. I didn't go through with it, though. I'm innocent. But it's still my fault that someone else carried out my plan, and I'm willing to take the punishment.

Comment: Stuff has been piling up and I just don't have enough time to properly journal, so here is a summary of the notable things during the last few days.

Sleep quality: I guess the caffeine frenzy of last week is taking it's toll and as I have been very sleepy in the last few days, to the point where I just can't do a proper WBTB

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Date: 16 June

pre bed: brain multivits

The key words never made it to a proper journal entry. This is the second time I take those multivits, they have increased vividness, and added some unpleasant dreams and aggressive DC behavior, similar to last time I took them but a bit less emotional. I also had a guest related FA with unpleasant contents, after I was woken up by guest that came for the weekend.

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Date: 17 June

pre bed: SJW

WBTB: p.oil capsules, 1/2 latte

Pre wbtb dream1: From the notes "Obe" and some other word I can't read. I checked with my feelings, and I get nothing. It is very unlikely that this was Obe/lucid, so this doesn't qualify even as suspicious.

Fragment2: I am looking through the HI lights but they are in the dream. I am able to see some events form in the lights/fog and conclude that I have developed special abilities irl.

WBTB: I was very sleepy and spent less that the desired time out of bed, so couldn't quite wake myself up. Fell asleep too fast.

Dream3: This dream was very long and vivid. I am first in some kind of bar talking to an interesting (in a non-sexual way) DC, that resembles a friend of mine, but he turns out gay and doesn't want to pay me any attention after the truth about him comes out? It is the middle of the night so I head home in some unknown city, have a difficult time finding my way back, but conclude it is because I am drunk.

I keep on roaming these unfamiliar streets, trying to find some transportation when I run into an old friend of mine. We have a very realistic conversation, and it feels like I am talking to the real person. It is quite late but he invites me to join them in another place where we can continue drinking. I look at my phone, that looks quite normal to see what time it is. Me and old friend are going to someplace but end up instead in the house of a female DC that starts seducing my friend. I try to leave the place and get my friend out of there.

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Date: 18 June

Comments: I was sleeping very heavily again, got short-ld that I count as micro ld just before final wake

Mini-ld: I find myself in a room attracted to an unpleasant male DC. This looks very suspicious and I realize this is a dream. Unfortunately my impulses are stronger than me and I still decide to go ahead after doing a RC and taking some precautionary measures.

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Date: 19 June

Comments: decided to take a break from journaling, WBTB, etc.

Dream quality and recall: vivid, recall of the last dreams was good

Dream1 micro -ld: I am on the street and lucid. Something that I hold in my hand draws my attention, it is a spherical object, the size of a tenis-ball. Didn't have much chance to look at it because this thing although a hard object is actually alive and somewhat aggressive, so I grasp with with all force, trying to move my hand and just throw it away. This is not possible because the object is very strong and has gravitational heaviness. I think I wake up after some struggle, then fall back to sleep.

Dream2: interesting story about some girl

Dream3: long vivid dream of me in some city

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Progress with goals as the 19th morning:

- Do 100 RCs (23/100)
- notice real life DS 100 times and RC (19/100)
- 10 proper WBTB attempts -> days (8/10)
- 10 morning RCs (6/10)
- 2 proper WILD attempts (1/2)
- task flexibility
- journal flexibility

LDs: 12 (official count)
micro-lds: 7 (not counted)
suspicious events: 3 (not counted)

05/12/2013 -- Asleep and then awake again into kind of the same dream I was already dreaming, except none of the storyline is at all the same. I may still be Harry Potter, though. I am not sure. Anyway, I am standing up at the front of a stadium, kind of watching a killer whale show in a Roller Coaster Tycoon (RCT) game. It is a really strange killer whale show because most of the killer whales are only a couple of feet long, and look kind of like a tadpole would if it were as big around as a person and a couple of feet long. I'm standing there, watching things, and one of the park employees is telling me to sit down, or I'll get hurt. Instead I back up a little, and stand half behind some sort of support pole, so I am out of the way.

I find myself standing next to a little old man who looks kind like pixilated, and like a cross between the old man from 'Up' and a RCT character. I pick up a bottle off the ground, and it looks like an even taller, stretched out bottle of the type sodas used to come in (the large glass ones that could be recycled for .20) that is close to empty and holds Jack Daniels. I drink the last of it, and am kind of hoping the old man doesn't get mad at me for drinking his booze.

Anyway, the show has ended, and people are starting to leave, and I find myself spending some of my time thinking about taking the time to write down this dream and the last one about fighting Voldemort and showering with Hermione. I can remember that dream, and want to write it down. I also kind of get that this is a dream, also, and want to write it down, too, but I don't "really" get that it is a dream, so I can't do anything with it.

I glance off, and just a few feet away, I see the start of a 'lazy river' sort of attraction leading into a full-blown water park, and I am debating trying to write down the dream, or going off to play in the water park. Soon the water park wins. I have a sort of a foam mat for the water slides (like used to be used in the earliest days of water parks before they started making the slides of plexiglass), except it is halfway an air-inflated floating mattress-type pool thing. I take it into the edge of the 'lazy river' and start floating along, and I can almost see the squares of the RCT grid this is laid out on.

I can see that the kinds of pieces have been changed about every three squares, as I go from gentle stream to rapids to bubbly effervescence (I can't believe I spelled that right) to a bit of dying stream (like in a desert) where I am afraid I am going to puncture my floaty thing on the rocky edges that are showing through, as I hope to reach more gentle stream parts soon, or maybe a waterfall, and the rest of the water park. Pleasant dream bit.

9/8/2012

In this dream there was some sort of major dispute. I am heading to a gunfight. A girl my brother's into and her dad were there. He is an ex-assassin from Russia so I think he had a lot to do with that gunfight scenario. We are all riding on the back of a truck to where the gunfight is going to take place. There are about 10 of us riding in the back of this military truck. We are all passing around bottles of alcohol. We finish off 2 fifths of whiskey and one fifth of vodka between all of us. We hop off the truck and square off with the people we are supposed to fight with. We have the gunfight but nobody is killed. I wake up before there is any clear resolution.