All DJ Entries

June 28, 2014

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Walk-Through-Walls Drug?

I was with Zukin, either at the Doctor's office or at a friend's house... I can't clearly remember which it was. It was probably both at the same time, which is why I am so unsure about it. The friend was holding a party, but it wasn't going well; people were getting bored, and two girls started talking smack about Zukin, so we decided to leave the party. We'd heard during the party (I think the person who told us was the Doctor who was there. The doctor was actually one of my classmates in my master's program) that there was a place to get a new drug, which would allow us to walk through walls. Apparently, you had to eat/drink the drug (I forget which it was), and then lay down for five minutes before it would work.

So Zukin and I get to the place where the drugs are, and there is a random guy with us. We'd met him on the way and found out he was also going to get the drug, so we all went together. We took it, laid down. After five minutes, I got up and ran at a wall, but hit it and don't go through. I start punching the wall, but nothing happens. I turned to Zukin, who also couldn't walk through the walls, and we realized that the guy we'd met wasn't there anymore; it had all been a scam.

So Zukin and I were left to wander the city, drugged up on who knew what. It was very hazy from there on out. I remember being on a very tall and fairly wide bridge with low railings on the sides. Zukin had stumbled, but she was near the center of the bridge, so she didn't fall over the edge.



Terrified Asian Kid

I was in some sort of club or group, as was my brother, Bob. The group had created a TShirt, but I hadn't gotten one because I wasn't sure they would turn out very well. But when we got them, they were way cool, and I was upset that I hadn't ordered one. So I went to the club president and asked if there was any way I could get one. I get the feeling that I had previously told the president I liked him, but he'd rejected me. Anyways, he told me "I'll do everything in my power to make sure you get a shirt, don't worry!" And kept coming over to me to suggest solutions. He came over so many times I got annoyed with him and ended up going to sit on the doorstep of the club building.

Outside was a large field. It looked like the field in front of the chapel at the private boarding school my cousin goes to. There was some sort of graduation going on. It looked like a 6th grade graduation, or something. Younger kids. I think it was a rehearsal, since none of the kids were dressed nicely; they were all wearing normal school clothes.

Then a younger child comes out of nowhere. She's wearing red, and she looks Asian. She is supposed to sing a song during the ceremony... They have her go into the building I'm in, with the party, and so I have to move for her... It was a bit eerie, actually. She just starts walking toward me, singing in a low voice, especially for a young girl, with her hands held together. She reminded me of a little monk or something. She didn't even slow down as she moved toward the door in which I sat, so I had to scramble out of the way at the last minute.

She was in there for less than a minute, and when she came back out, her face was cherry-red and she looked like she was going to burst into explosive sobs any second now. She looked terrified, but kept on walking, back to the group of graduating students. The Teacher/Principal (whoever was organizing the event) suddenly said, "Maybe I'll reconsider..."

I assume she meant that she'd not have the little girl go through that building for the real ceremony.

I am walking through the school, down to the art hall, when I pass the power walking class coming in. I see Ian and he passes; I see Kellsie and she starts to talk to me but then walks away with her friend. Amber, Angelique and Andrea are here too; Amber comments on how weird that was. I sit down with them, close to Amber. Her hip is just barely resting up against me and I can feel the contact and warmth. She says something about cuddling, and I am open to the idea, but she stretches out on Andrea instead. Her foot, with only a sock on, is resting on me and again I can feel the warmth.
I am writing something on a blank paper. The ink is black but my writing utensil is a carrot. Amber tells me she likes my handwriting and I tell her something like "...but I'm just using a carrot...".
We have been waiting for Ian to come out of the locker rooms after power walking, and finally the doors are opening. Instead of people, small robot/machines and spaceships fly out.
Now, Ian is with us and we head to Mrs. Greig's room. It is one of the last days of school and we are going on a field trip. It is rainy and dark (it has to be night) out, but nevertheless, that is where we are going.
Outside, I walk alone and I walk slightly faster than everyone else. I get to the front of everyone (I've only noticed passing two people) and I think I've arrived where we are supposed to be. There is a hole in the ground, partially covered by a grate. It is stone and the bottom is illuminated in orange light. Something down there is producing creepy music. I continue on.
Alone now, I find myself at the entrance of a cave. There is a tall rock here and on it '32' is painted in white. I know that it is talking about the most number of dreams that have been had. I think that that sounds reasonable because of DEILD. I get down and crawl through this cave. As I make my way through I see lots of graffiti, but it seems to be colors and art, not words. Certain pieces of graffiti show different scenes - I see one with the Eiffel Tower and a beautiful purple background.
I end up at what seems like a dead end. There is a window that looks like it's made of a think slab of glass or a very translucent crystal. I look through and see a small circular area with walls of stone and more uncommonly shaped windows. There is a guy in there, seemingly entertaining a crowd (that is behind the windows?).
I am now in this circular stone room, with a very vague impression of being below the surface of water. There are two blonde girls here and they are talking about another girl. This 'girl' is an octopus the color of shimmering snow. She circles the room and now I am supposed to kiss her. She holds her tentacles out and I gently kiss one.
Now she is gone and I am buying something from these girls for just under 20$. The twenty dollar bill I give her has the 'In God We Trust" crossed out in red pen, and I know that she notices it.
I now seem to be in another room. I'm listening to the guy from before as he gives some kind of speech. He starts talking about how you should raise your kids as 'black Jews' and how they should believe in God. Everyone but me applauds. I walk away.
My dad is here and we start looking at all the stonework and how they make it. The same guy comes out and sets down a chunk of marble and tells us it is made of basalt



~ maybe meditation and ADA are helping..

Dream 1


I am going shopping with my mom. I like the shirts they have here and end up getting about 4. I start thinking that I already have a lot of shirts and should've bought some shorts. One of the shirts I buy is a purple and black stripped shirt that I already have. On the left of it, in small white letters, it says 'God is Dead'. I am wearing the shirt and I like it.


Dream 2


I'm walking down a street, going to a lake. My family friend E is with me and I think her mom and brother are not too far behind. On the side of the road is a little ditch with some running water. I sit down in that and am able to float in the water as the surprisingly strong current carrys me away.

I am with my mom and sister and we are going to see a movie. This movie is at a grocery store, so we pay for our tickets at the front and make our way to the designated isle. On the way, I see some 'exit only' doors and a man coming in through them. I wonder how he was able to do that. In the isle, the screen is on one side and a row of about 6 mattresses is on the other side. They lay down on two of them and I end up in a section between two of the mattresses.

I am in my dad's neighborhood, at the south end of our street. I'm facing the house on the hill on the other side of the street, and see a round table on the hill. My cousin J is here and he sits at the table. I look back and about 4 other men his age, all wearing Sun glasses, are sitting around him at the table. I get the impression that J shouldn't be there. The men start looking hostile when suddenly ropes fly through the air and end up piercing the skin on their heads. The ropes go taunt and the men are all strung up, hanging.

June 21, 2014

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orange text = Lucid


Okay, so this one was really weird and hard to describe. I'll do the best I can. I went with my parents to a property they recently bought in the northern part of the state in which I live. We were camping; I was in my own tent while my parents slept in another tent a few feet away. I couldn't sleep very well because of this super-duper annoying-ass cricket that must have made its life goal to keep me awake.
Anyways. This is the dream(s?) I had:


I was with my parents on the same property we actually were visiting; but it was in the near future, when the house we're planning to build there had just been finished. But it "wasn't open" yet, and we were staying in the same tents were actually were in, out in the yard. I had woken up because of a really annoying cricket (this is why it's so confusing. I think I may have fallen asleep and inserted everything before this point, but not actually dreamed it...? I may have also unintentionally WILDed. I HAD been thinking about it as I tried to fall asleep all night, so I was in the right mindset for it I think?)

Anyways, it was only about 6am (in the dream), and I had just woken up, but I was still tired; I got out of the tent because the cricket was being a bitch, and walked around outside. The sun was nice and warm, and I wandered around a bit. I thought I saw an old friend of mine, whom I met online a loooong time ago. He was walking around the other properties surrounding my family's. But it didn't really look like him. I had the strong impression that it was Alex, though. But I chose not to call out to him, mostly because my parents were there and it would be weird, or something. I walked around for a while, always noting where Maybe-Alex was, and eventually stopped seeing him around. I was so tired still, so I laid down in the grass to try and sleep. Here, it was strange, because I knew I was outside, but at the same time I was also inside and could see a kid I used to babysit peaking out of a crib at me and giggling. It was a bit like when you let your eyes try to battle each other for what you're seeing. Sometimes it's what your right eye sees, and it's sometimes what your left eye sees. It's hard to describe, but if you don't have a dominant eye, like me, you might better know what I'm talking about...

Anyways, then I must have fallen asleep for a bit. The next thing I knew, my parents were waking me up and telling me it was about time to get going. I told them about seeing the kid in the crib, when I thought I saw Maybe-Alex out of the corner of my eye, but when I looked at the spot where I thought he was, he'd vanished.

And then suddenly, there was a hand on my right shoulder, and Maybe-Alex was saying to my parents, "This little SLUT isn't quite so innocent as you think." And then all hell broke loose.
"What the fuck Alex, why are you saying that?!"
My mom yelled at me, "Kestrel, is that true?!"
And they forced me to go to a doctor to have a test done. The Doctor told my parents, "It's true, she's no longer a virgin." And my mom started crying and yelling angrily at me, my Dad turned his back on me and left the room with my mom. (this wouldn't happen IRL. They know I'm not, and don't really care. I mean I'm 22 for crying out loud)

So I'm laying in the hospital bed in the empty room, and the door opens. Maybe-Alex comes in, and I look at him, hurt. "Why did you do that? What did I do to make you call me a little slut?!" He would never do that IRL. Especially not in the tone he'd used. His voice was so malicious, so manipulating and cold.

"I had to be sure the mother of my child is hated by her parents; that way she has no where to turn but to me." He was so fucking calm and cold.

"And you think I'm having your baby?" I rolled my eyes.

"I know you're going to have my baby." And he locked the door. He came toward me with a really wicked grin on his face, and I suddenly felt scared. "There's no way you're Alex..."

"Nope~" He said in a singsongy voice, and I realized I must have been dreaming. I did a Reality Check, and it turned out I was dreaming.

I stared at whoever the guy was, and asked him, "are you The Face?"

"That may have been me. But that's not my name." He'd sat down at the edge of the bed, no longer threatening. He was still grinning a bit maliciously, though. Maybe it was more mischievous.

"Well what is your name?"

"You can call me whatever you want."

"I want to call you by your name."

"Not this time~"

I narrowed my eyes at him and suddenly remember the challenge of the month. I decided to try it, so I repeated, with the same singsongy intonation, "Not this time~"

He just raised his eyebrow and stared at me, silently. I couldn't tell if he was confused or just blank. I waited so long for him to say something else that the dream destabilized and I woke up.

Morning of June 20, 2014. Friday.



In the first part of my dream it seems as if I am in a region where there are several isolated temples. The people who look after these temples and surrounding area (who are possibly the ones who built them) are of a fictional race and culture (though somehow related to Bangladesh) and mostly do not mind our presence in the area. A few other people are there including my wife and children as well as classmates from many years ago, including Steve J and Steve W. There is some sort of upcoming threat, seemingly an expected nuclear attack, and so we have to evacuate the area (to a city to the west).

A bus comes and when we are almost ready to go to the bus, I have an odd in-dream “premonition” that we need to either stay where we are or even all go in the opposite direction than the direction the government claims we will be safer, thus I send my wife and children in the other direction - because now I somehow “know” that the attack is more likely to occur where we are going. Even though almost everyone is getting on the bus to evacuate, I refuse to go. I am chased by a couple people, including Steve J and Steve W as they want to force me onto the bus (for my own good, supposedly) but I manage to escape through a combination of running, leaping, and flying. Eventually, the bus leaves. At one point, a large dog attacks me and I feel its teeth in my hand but then I am able to swing my arm around and lose the dog over a hedge. I end up going to the city anyway after this.

After a short time of a few events and conversations about the supposed war and terrorist threats, some sort of unusual nuclear explosions occur. It is almost like a series of several smaller bombs going off in the sky (all at the same time, almost like fireworks) in an odd matrix-like pattern a little farther to the west, yet it is still seemingly the result of a nuclear missile. I turn away to feel a forceful energy sweep over me and most people are killed by it. However, I and a few others start running as fast as we can away from the shockwave, down the main street and over bridges. The area reminds me of Gillette Street in La Crosse in the eastern area where there are not many man-made features; mostly sparse trees, tall grasses, and wild shrubs.

Eventually, I end up in the area where my wife and children had gone. There is an unusual large building which seems to be part of a resort covering a large area and a very large lake and small island in the direction opposite to where the earlier nuclear event had occurred. There is a point at which I decide to go outside again from one larger room. I try to go down a staircase but the second open area past the doorway to the staircase is too small for me to fully fit in and turn around in the cramped stairwell to go to another floor and then outside (recurring) so I pull myself out with a little difficulty and go out through another area, which leads me to the lake’s shore. I still sense danger, so my wife and I and an unknown girl (and I think a couple others) fly into the air and then fly, with great joy and happy harmonious interactions, easterly to the small isolated island in the center of the lake, which is covered mostly with ice and snow. It is exhilarating and very enjoyable and the most vivid part of my dream.

Later, we seem to be in a different town (smaller than the city where the bomb was dropped). There are more random conversations and uneventful scenes, but then the side of a large apartment building begins to collapse. It turns out that terrorists, for quite some time, had somehow managed to build missile silos in a number of different buildings inside a secret area just inside the outside wall. This seems hard to believe, but everyone is running around now in chaos as the threatening events unfold. I watch the extraordinarily clear detail of the outer brick wall collapsing (but almost as if in slow motion), the revealing of one missile as it is taking off - and I also notice large business buildings farther away partially collapsing with missiles lifting off from hidden areas inside the walls. There are at least six or seven missiles that are now airborne. Oddly, instead of going a fair distance, they actually start exploding fairly close to where we are.

Again, I feel the sweep of the destructive nuclear energy from the explosions, as I and only a few others survive. I am not sure where my wife and children are at this time, though I assume they escaped quickly as before. I eventually sit down in a park-like area on a bench facing west, after running west again and seem to be the only immediate survivor after a time - several bodies lying about, some still on fire - and yet I feel quite healthy and well. The city I ran from was completely destroyed. I look on the bottom of my left foot and notice two numbers that seem to be some sort of organic “computer display” but possibly using some sort of semi-organic or inorganic implant to show the values. One number is twenty-seven and on its right, the number one - both in “portrait” orientation - that is, upright across the narrow area in the middle of my foot. This is some sort of “built-in” display showing my health and vitality (or life energy) or how many minutes (27) I have left to live, perhaps. (J. Boehme supposedly called this number “the death”, though there are other myths about it.). Because my life energy is only at one, it likely will not take much more to destroy me, although I am confident that this could not happen even if it read zero later.

However, there is a transparent plastic bag of blueberry muffins to my left and I then realize I had not eaten for some time, and so, as I start eating, the numbers on the bottom of my foot increase more and more, just as with a character in a video game (of which I have never been much of a fan of even when young).

June 17, 2014

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I was living in an apartment with my mom and little brother. But it wasn't my real brother. There seemed to be some sort of sickness going around that turned the body stiff until the person died, and my brother got it. We found him on the couch in the living room...

Mom was suddenly really anxious and said we had to move, like RIGHT THEN. She started packing her bags, and I went to my closet to pack my things, but there were too many things and I had to decide what to keep and what to throw out. I was getting more and more anxious because I wanted to pack up everything, but mom was already finished packing and walking out the door. I was crying and yelling, "Wait for me don't leave mom...! I'm almost done, I promise...! Don't leave, don't leave... Wait... Don't leave...!" I kept repeating those words as I tried to pack everything, but I couldn't see well because of the tears.

But mom just put her bags down by the door and came over calmly to help me finish, wiping my tears away and telling me repeatedly she wouldn't ever leave me behind. I think I was a younger child in this dream. Maybe 6 or 7 or so.

.../It's my grandparent's old house. We are on the roof with my older brother. I see how it was modified when our mother came to visit my father's family. I feel sad for her because of I realize they didn't treat her well. Now I see her in front of the left side of the roof, although it doesn't make sense with the real structure of the house. She looks like one of her pictures in black and white when she was a teenager and had a very long hair. She feels sorrow and I ask my brother to tell her not to feel that way because of I know she was strong. We get to the first floor. It's night all of a sudden. There's a bad guy who's my brother's friend. He climbs the walls and gets into the room through some open sides that appear in the walls. He gets into my room of my university times in another city. I follow him. There's my kid's double bunk bed. We have to climb on the side of it in order to reach the floor. He checks everything. I don't like it. Some coins fall from the pocket of my pants which lay on a chair. I give the money to him at the end. Then he goes downstairs through the same hole in the wall. There I see he takes a bucket toy. I tell him to let it because of it's like taking something that will be noticed. He lets it. I find my brother is in the kitchen/...

.../There's something with my unfriendly aunt and my fellow cousin but I just remember they both were upset/...

* As far as I can remember, it's the first time I saw my mom in a dream. Although I don't think it's a real memory of her.

06-13-2014 -- Very strange shifting dream. I am at the Hickory House, probably back to being a kid again, because I am running around the house in the alley, and interacting with Dave and the DuFours and the house is exactly the way it has always been. Then as I walk the couple of doors back to my house, I kind of age, and I am showing up for a visit. I wander a couple of doors down and am talking with Jeff and his parents, and it is pretty late in the evening, something like 9:45 or so. I am telling them that I have to go back home and get something, then come back and speak with them, but I promise it will only take about 15 minutes. They say no way ... too bad. I had bought them a valuable necklace worth hundreds of thousand dollars, that is a very powerful piece of magic, and may save everybody in the area or something. And now that they will not allow me to talk with them about whatever dangerous thing is happening, they will lose out on the protection.

So I walk back home, and it is now the middle of the day, instead of late at night, and as I walk up, the UPS guy or someone has just finished leaving a package. Melody has also just pulled up, and has boxes of stuff. And there are several other boxes and things waiting at the door as well. Turns out it is just a day or two before Christmas, and Melody is telling me she has a nice Christmas present for me, and don't worry, I don't have to wait until Christmas to get it. I am telling her I have a nice present for her, too (thinking about the necklace), and thinking I'm not so impatient that I can't wait until Christmas for presents. Besides, I am very happy that I noticed several boxes from amazon.com among all the stuff waiting in the front yard.

I walk inside to say hello to mom, and then start grabbing the various boxes and moving them inside (while not looking too closely at them to avoid Christmas spoilers) and Melody is talking about how the place is a pig sty and working at cleaning things up. I expect she may want my help, and am explaining that if we are going to work on some cleaning up, I may work on cleaning my room. It isn't too bad, so I am thinking if I can spend just one hour cleaning my room, I will probably be able to get it almost perfect. Meanwhile, we are both walking outside to clean up all the trash in the front yard, and Melody has decided to put her cat, Boots, outside while we are cleaning, but he doesn't want to go, and is digging his claws in and things. Once he's out the door, I pet him for a bit and explain he is still loved and wanted, we just need to clean things up.

So I am gathering up lots of trash in the front yard. Empty boxes, crates from mailing stuff, styrofoam, and a lot of empty pizza boxes, and cramming it all into a very large, but very beat up trash can, which is on the edge of coming apart. As I am doing so, I am telling Melody that as soon as Christmas is over, we may want to replace the trash can. I start telling hew how beat up it is ... and then I notice how it has an address painted on it that I have never seen before, for a street I know isn't anywhere within a mile of here. And I recall a strange sound while I have been driving my car the last few days from Florida to get here, and wonder if I dragged it all the way from Florida under the car, which might explain how bad of shape it is in. Meanwhile, Melody is looking at some of the Christmas decorations, including the angel on the wall with a crown of blinking Christmas tree lights, wondering if it is broken because she doesn't see the lights blinking. I explain they are working fine, and I can see them blinking, but I am looking from further down the front steps and it is darker, which makes it easier for me to see the lights.

I am almost done with the trash, and I need to go to the bathroom, and I can hear the house phone ringing inside, and everything is happening at once. We have a sort of extended family gathering going on, and I think my cousin Lyle has just pulled up outside, and I need to get to the toilet, and that blasted phone is still working. So I run inside and down the hall to the bathroom, just as my cousin walks in the door, but it isn't Lyle, it is Luke ... Skywalker. And he is screaming at me "Answer the @#$%& phone! You never answer the @#$%& phone! Damn it, answer the @#$%& phone, already!" I am sitting in the bathroom, and the whole house is under some construction, and half the bathroom wall has been removed (the top half) and people can just look in at you, and we are in the middle of putting back in the shelves along the bathroom wall. And I yell back at him "I'm in the freaking bathroom! I never answer the phone when I am in the freaking bathroom! Do you?!?"

Meanwhile, everything is changing. The reason we are doing all this construction on the house is that mom eventually sold the house, and the person who bought it was Rosemary (an ex-landlord), and the house that I lived in for several years (in Florida) was the Hickory House, but they changed it and expanded it, and we're now in the process of changing it all back, since we've bought it back again. I finish going to the bathroom (though I am now running around in my underwear. It doesn't seem to bother me any, though.) And I walk up to Luke Skywalker, and tell him I have words for him. I start forcibly explaining how I quit answering the house phone when I got my own cell phone, and I did it for a very good reason. Mom owned the house phone, and if I answered it, and took messages for her, some of them would get lost, and she would never get them. But if I stuck to my phone and she stuck to hers with her own answering machine, we both got all our calls, and we were both very happy. By this time, I am explaining calmly, and explain that I only answer the house phone when I told an important call is expected, and to please answer when it came in ... and nobody told me he would be trying to call.

We are having this discussion in Rosemary's living room, which has somehow replaced my bedroom which was in the house just five minutes earlier. Luke compliments me, and tells me that it was very well explained, and very well thought out, and he is impressed with how I calmed myself and the situation down, with how he had started it all off by yelling at me, and we step outside the house to find that everything has changed outside as well (from when I was out here five minutes ago.) It is still the Hickory house, but instead of being all block it is now half block and half wood. It is still on Hickory Drive, but instead of being a straight, level street, it is now the top of a significant hill, and the street curves out of sight where Holly used to be, to connect with Crescent. The house next door has been torn down entirely, and we have put up a sort of storage shed tunnel sort of thing like the house next door on the other side used to have, and I am saying "I was only gone for a year-and-a-half, how on Earth has everything changed so much?!?" Never mind that it has actually only been five minutes. "How has everything changed so much in under a year? How has the street changed? How are we now on a hill?" I glance toward what should be the intersection of Hickory and Crescent, where there is now a freeway interchange. "How is there a freeway inter ... you know, actually the freeway interchange explains all the other changes. But an entire new freeway in under a year ... that's rather impressive."

04-26-2014 -- Odd one, with several parts. It starts with me seeming to remember a dream I once had, that involved walking through the snow in Southern California, and I seem to be telling my sister about it. It was a fairly interesting dream, but not supremely so, and "I recall that it started right ... here." Here being the parking lot of the place my sister is currently working, and I explain how I was here to pick up a package (in the dream) to courier it somewhere, and I spotted all the snow, and started off to walk through it for a bit. [Might have tied into the dream where I ran into the 10th and 11th Doctors in a bar, dressing up like pirates, here.]

As I continue to tell my sister about the dream, I follow her into her work place (which somewhat resembles the 3M Dental warehouse). There's tight security, but she has no problem getting me in. We are wandering through the office area, me still telling her about the dream. We soon find ourselves standing in front of a strange cross between a vending machine and a weird sort of robotic Santa Claus giving out candy, and for some reason we are trying to empty the thing out, taking all the candy. Most of it we are just putting into a basket that everybody can take it from, but as we get close to finishing it off, I do keep a few bits for myself, including a couple of small bags of M&Ms, and what I think was a white chocolate version of a Willy Wonka Scrunch bar, a thing that has never actually existed. For some reason I am putting them in my pockets, even though I know they will melt there.

Melody has wandered off to talk to some of her co-workers, and as I was almost finished with my dream, this annoys me. I wait a little bit, but just when I am about to be able to tell her the ending, she wanders off to talk to more people, and I decide I have had enough, and I am just going to leave. I head to the exit, wondering if security is going to give me issues for leaving without her being with me, but they just wave me through. Soon I find myself out in the parking lot, looking for my white car. Problem is, it isn't where I left it, and I am walking back and forth through the parking lot looking for it, until I begin to worry that it might have been stolen. Also there seem to be some toughs approaching me, and I am thinking things are about to get painful.

Then suddenly the scene changes, and I am in a house where I seem to be sharing a room with either Ron D. or perhaps Chris (Kevin) W. For some reason we are literally sharing the same bedroom, and I find myself preparing to take my old wicker laundry basket out to do a load, but I have to make sure I gather up all my clothes, and none of his. Very strange, especially since the scene just changes again, for no reason.

I am now sitting in a bar, along the right side of the bar. There are tons of people around, and we seem to be filming an odd sort of cross between a game show and a reality show. There is a very cute English blonde (I think it is the blonde I saw in the latest Star Trek film last night, Alice Eve) who has to decide which of two gay men (both already in a relationship with another guy) she is going to marry. We're all in this bar where she and her friends interact with these two guys to decide which one she will choose. First it seems like the show is being hosted by George Takei, but it may eventually switch to being hosted by Drew Carey.

I don't really approve of the whole thing, so I am pretty much just sitting quietly, staying out of the way, but Alice is wearing a really mini mini skirt which is riding up further and further to show her stocking tops, and then eventually even her bush, while a large group of somewhat large and unattractive black ladies are standing around berating her and calling her a slut. I am just enjoying the show. Eventually the gay couple who were sitting at my part of the bar have wandered off, and there is nobody on that side any more, so I decide to move to the left side of the bar and take a seat, but as I do so, everybody is telling me I can't, and to go away, so I move back to the right side of the bar, just to find there are a couple about to take my seat there. I explain it is my seat and I need it, and have to tell them about the filming before they will go away. But eventually they do, and I have my seat back, and find myself talking to the boy friend of one of the gay men who Alice has to choose from, and we are both agreeing this is very stupid.

June 10, 2014

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After having mostly fragmented memories of dreams and waking at 5:30 am, I fell back asleep and had this dream:


I was visiting some other country with my family (immediate and most of the grandparents/aunts/cousins, as well as the Stanleys, who are the family of my mom's old high school friend). At first, we were in a city, wandering around and exploring new places. We were in a Hotel there, and my mom had come back with a bicycle she'd just bought. We all wondered how practical this was, since we were going to have to fly back, just like we'd had to fly there. We all got in multiple cars and headed for the house we were renting for the next week and a half of the trip; apparently Bob had built it.

I decided to do some exploring of the house. There was a main section of the house, with the living spaces, and three of the bedrooms, and then there was a separate space connected by a partially underground hallway (there were windows at the top of the walls, and these windows were just above ground level outside). The second space was a garden/master bedroom. There were flowers in pots everywhere and when I looked out the window, I saw that the whole top of that hallway was also planted. There were lots of windows, and the bed was in a section that was sunk down a few steps. I went outside the building and saw a door, but didn't think much of it, assuming it was just leading off from one of the bedrooms.

Then, mom got back. She'd decided to come on her bike, so it took her a lot longer to get there. Except she came on a motor scooter. We asked her why she had it, and she said that she'd traded the bike for the scooter. She had apparently also picked up groceries on the way there; they were in bags behind her.

I asked it I could ride the scooter (I only call it a scooter because I can't think of any better word... It was basically a box with wheels and no right-side wall, so that you could get in and out. I guess it was more of a cockpit?), and mom said sure, why not? She proceeded to show my family the snake she'd gotten on a whim at the grocery store.

So I get in through the absent right-hand wall, and sit/squat in this awkward little seat that was slanted forwards. The steering mechanism was a simple floppy paddle handle (like the locks on some bathroom stalls). At first, I thought that it was also the way to accelerate (kind of how in bumper cars, often times to reverse, you need to turn so far you go backwards), so I turned it really far and ended up just spinning really fast and getting dizzy (it spun without pressing the gas, apparently). I found the actual gas and break pedals and got on my way, taking it out for a spin.

I first went up the road to the left (as you face the house), which was up. The house was on a hill, so to the left it went uphill, and to the right it went downhill on a curve to the right. We were on a mountain or something, I think. I got bored going uphill, so I turned around (the turning was like in some video games, where when you rotate the handle to the left for the camera view, it turns right, and vise versa. I hate that, it confuses me so much) and went downhill. I passed the house and went along the curve to the right, and then it was straight and steep, and there was a jeep (this jeep, to be precise; I should clarify that I am in no way a conservative. One of my friends posted this on FB) coming at me really fast with their brights on even though the sun was just starting to set, and the road was narrow, so I pulled over to the right side, which was nearly a cliff, and waited for it to pass. I got freaked out by the jeep and turned back to go home.

When I got back, the snake my mom had bought with the groceries was chilling on the front porch, but then a large red snake with yellow spots outlined in black came out of the ground (like, it came out of the GROUND, not out of a hole in the ground) and attacked mom's snake. It was crazy. They were vicious and kept going in and out of the ground, and I was freaked out because I was almost positive this other snake was venomous and they kept coming up at random spots, so I hopped back inside where I would be safe. I told my mom, but she didn't seem too worried about her snake. "She's a tough cookie, that one," she said with a thumbs up.

I went off to find my brothers and ended up finding them in the main living room. Bob said he'd included a secret space when he built the house. I looked over and found a room I had missed before; it was long and narrow, with bunk beds built into the wall on the right-hand side. There were four bunks, then one twin, and then one queen/double. The last thing built into that wall was a sort of reading nook with a table and booth-benches around it. Bob and Erik said they would be sleeping in this room with the Stanley boys and our uncles.

On the left at the end of the room was an open space, and a door was at the very end. I opened it, and found out it was the door I'd seen earlier.

When I closed the door, everything went all Minecraft on me. I accidentally deleted a block from the wall, and I rotated through my inventory to replace it with a stone block, but then I realized the walls were made of leaf-blocks. I didn't have any of those in my inventory, so I left it as it was. I looked over to the area to the left and noticed something strange; it looked like there was something behind the leaf-blocks making up the wall, so I broke one of them with my sheers (so I could replace it if there wasn't actually anything there) and found a tunnel with a pitfall at the end. I looked down the hole, and found out there was water running below. A tetris-ish shaped lily-pad floated past, and I jumped down and landed on it.

I was in this GORGEOUS underground jungle-temple-like space. The river was artificial, it seemed, made out of cobblestone blocks, suspended a few blocks from the ground and winding and going up and down. There were vines hanging down over everything and dappled light coming in through little holes in the ground (the ceiling above me, since I was underground now). Roots intertwined and connected with the cobblestone river. It was at the same time minecraft blocky and real-world smooth. It was so surreal and so beautiful! There were lily-pads on the water, and chests full of treasure scattered throughout the river; some in the water, some above the water, some on the cobblestone at the edge of the water.

I let myself be carried by the river until it came into open daylight (the sun still had not set, but was very close to the horizon now) and found myself above the house. Instead of the road there had been before, it was all a river now. Wait a minute, this was a road before... Am I dreaming? Sure enough, for the first time ever, I did a reality check in my dream, and found I was dreaming. I was so excited that it started to destabilize, but I ran as fast as I could to the house to tell everyone we were in a dream.

I woke up before I could reach the house.
I gained lucidity (and remember it) for the first time!


Update: That day I spent way more time than I should have building the house in Minecraft. lol

June 09, 2014

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I only remembered one fragment... Or rather, I know I remembered full dreams when I woke up, but I was not in the mood to write them down right away, and then either forgot because I didn't think about them enough, or fell back asleep...


This Book!

I was with my brothers at Oma's house, and we were talking about a book that my brothers didn't think was all that special. "But it's got all the ends of all the Harry Potter characters! I've got Dumbledore's end, even!"
(didn't occur to Dream-Kestrel that we all know Dumbledore's end from the books, anyways...)

June 05, 2014

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Whoa, 6 Dreams (well, some Dreams and some Fragments) remembered!

Blue Pool

I was with Zukin and some people who claimed to be high-level Dreamers, and we were sitting on a sofa, talking about Lucid Dreaming (funny that we were talking about it but I didn't realize I was dreaming). Then we all moved to a room that was a pool. The whole room was a giant pool with a walkway down the middle. The tiles in the pool were mostly deep blue with some red ones. There were signs being made (like actual signs. Road signs.) somewhere in the room. They were popping out of a conveyor on the other side of the wall.

I think I might have realized I was dreaming, but I woke up immediately. If I did realize, it didn't last long.




Circus!

I was a kid again in this dream. Maybe 10-14 years old. My dad and brothers were going to a circus. We walked into the lobby of the building it was in (it was on some upper floor of a large building). There were three other children there, with their guardian (I wasn't sure if it was their parent or not) in the lobby.

We got into the elevator, the walls of which were lined with that yellow foamy insulator you find in crawl spaces and whatnot.

We got out of the elevator and then sat down in this little play corner that was actually the seats for the audience. You were supposed to climb up to any seat we wanted. It's a bit hard to describe, but think of side-scrolling video games where there are ledges you have to jump up to and whatnot. So I'm trying to get up to the perfect seat, but I can't reach it.



Then there were two fractions of dreams: One about playing my music over speakers, and another about sleeping downstairs in my laundry room. I was only wearing underwear (no bra) because it was really hot, and my dad came in and got all embarrassed. But I was still half asleep and still tired so I threw on a shirt and went to sleep in the car, since we were going somewhere that day. My mom was already sleeping in the back, so I just curled up in the passenger seat.




Just Don't Tell my Mom, Okay?

I was a student in a classroom, high school, I think. We were in the middle of class, and two punks had barged in; They were pushing my classmates around, badmouthing everyone, and extorting money from them and being general jerks. Eventually I got fed up with it and yelled at them from across the room, "You two need to GET. OUT."

One of them got all bashful and apologized, getting ready to leave, but the other (the taller one) just stood in the door way with his arms crossed over his chest, glaring down his nose at me. I planted my feet and glared right back (I am short, so this must have been hilarious to watch), until he averted his gaze and then left, grumbling.

About an hour later, another punk came to my classroom, and yelled, "Which Bitch is that told my boys to leave?!" Like an idiot, I stood up and said, "It was me." The guy looked like a Gangster Pimp.

He took me out in the hall and I felt like he was gong to beat me, so I started to run away. I felt like a rabbit being chased by a wolf, and it felt hopeless. It felt like no matter where I ran, he would find me, and then beat me, rape me, verbally abuse me, who knows what.

I eventually got to a door leading out of the building. It opened to a slope, exactly like the one Zukin and I slid down on our butts in Austria. It was steep and the soil was dry, and there were trees scattered sparsely. I slid down the slope, using the trees as check-points of a sort to control my path downward. I got to the bottom and looked up to see if he was following. He was inside still, I could see him glaring down at me from inside the door. It had started to rain, so I assumed that he wouldn't come out in order to keep his clothes clean (Or rather, his voice was in my head saying "The only reason I'm not going and getting you out there is to keep my clothes dry, bitch."). I started running to my left, and turned when the building made a corner. Around the corner was another door into the building. I figured I would go in and try to get a teacher. As I ran toward the door, to my right I heard a voice say, "You don't have to run. You have the power to manipulate him." I turned to see a man floating in the air. It looked like he was sitting in an invisible throne in the air. He had on clothes that appeared kinda jester-like. But more ragged. Colorful patches everywhere, a funny hat. His hair was long, for a guy, and messy. He has a sing-songy voice.

I ignored what he said because the Gangster Pimp was going to kill me if I didn't keep running. I keep running, and I almost reach the door, but the Gangster Pimp comes out of a door a little further down and starts running after me. It's still raining, but we're under an awning now. I'm no longer safe, in the rain.

I try to reach the door but he catches me just before I get there and corners me. "I'll teach you to mess with my boys!" He threatened, cracking his knuckles.
"I didn't touch them! All I did was make them leave!"
He hit me on the left side of my face. "Shut up, bitch! I'm a pimp and I protect my boys!"
I didn't know what else to do, so I started begging and apologizing. "I'm sorry, okay? I won't do it again! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Just don't hit me again...!"
And then out of the corner of my eye, I saw one of my old high school teachers coming outside. "Help! Help, Hafer! Mr. Hafer! This guy...!" But he didn't hear me at all, or else ignored me (which he wouldn't do; he was one of the best teachers I had in high school). He walked back inside, and I felt so alone.

The Gangster Pimp raised his hand like he was going to hit me again, and I yelled, "You would hit a girl like that?!"
Suddenly he got all sheepish. "D-don't say it like that!" He stammered.
Suddenly I was scolding him. "And this is a new piercing. Do you know how much it hurts to get hit over a new piercing?!"
"I'm sorry..."
"And besides you should be in class!"
"Yes Ma'am..."
"Before that, go apologize to my classmates for disrupting our learning!"
"Don't tell my mom about this, okay...?"
We walk back to the tree-slope door for some reason, instead of taking the door right next to us. We wait under the overhang until the rain clears, to keep his clothes clean. Once it was clear, we start walking, and to my left, still where he had been before, was the jester-man, who had much the same feeling as The Face at the end of one of my previous dreams. He smiled (though it was more of a smirk) and said, "Told you." Then he vanished. I noticed then that the rain hadn't been falling on him; there was a circle of dry pavement around where he'd been.

After getting back to my class, like right after the Gangster Pimp leaves, I got a text from him asking if I wanted to go to a rap concert with him. I don't know how he got my number.

Then I either woke up or faded into the next dream...



Rest Stop of Creepy

I was on a car trip with my Dad, Erik, Bob, WW (my grandpa) and my uncle Nick. I don't know why my mom wasn't there. We were driving in some place with mountains and open prairie/almost desert. We stopped at a rest stop to get some things and while we were browsing, this weird man enters the store, and asks random people if he can buy them random junk from the store. He asked me if he could buy me some canned peaches and I said no. I kept saying no but he kept asking about other things he could buy me. Eventually I got him to go away, and picked up a chocolate milk, bringing it to my dad to pay for while I went to the bathroom.

When I got out, I tried to find my family but they had left without me. I knew where we were going, so I figured I would just walk to catch up with them. I texted them to wait for me somewhere up the road, and turned out to the road. I went left (I get the feeling I was going west... but I'm directionally challenged so I don't know if that is true).

I passed a couple buildings on a hill to my left. At some point I met a woman who handed me a box of water bottles and some paper cups, telling me to "keep strong." I was starting to panic because the sun was setting and I could hear some animals off in the distance. I had gotten out of the woodsy hills and was now in an open, relatively flat, prairie area. There were huge, majestic mountains to my right. It looked a little like the Tetons look from the road. I got to another hilly area and checked my phone to see if anyone had responded to my texts. Then I rounded a corner and found the van sitting at a lookout with a door open, waiting for me to jump in. I was pissed at them all and didn't speak to any of them for the rest of the ride.



Dog Fights

I was at Oma and Grandpa's house (in the living room with big windows), talking to my grandpa about his past. My family and some dogs I didn't know were playing outside in the back yard.

Through the windows, I saw a pack of three foxes, larger than any normal fox, circle the group, as if hunting. I tried to warn my family, but they couldn't hear me from inside. Then, one of the foxes jumped at Erik, but he ducked just in time and didn't get hurt. Everyone starts yelling and the foxes run away. They were literally hopping/jumping as high as the trees, like Virginia (John Carter) in the movie. (Um, just sort of ignore that music in that video... There was loud music playing when I found the video. And then it lead to a hilarious moment when Zukin turned off her music and we both heard the music in this video for the first time)

But after a few minutes, they come back with two large wolves. Then, all hell broke loose.
There were suddenly a bunch of neighborhood dogs of all kinds, and the wolves and foxes were fighting the dogs. The dogs eventually fought off the wolves and foxes, but two of them were badly wounded. Their owners were there, and one of the really badly wounded ones, a newfie, was leaning on its owner and dying. It was really sad...

Apparently, my grandpa had completely missed the whole thing. He's a bit deaf, so he hadn't heard any of the mayhem.

Then I woke up.

May 08, 2014

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Dream within the dream: A smurf-like girl (she was blue and had a hat) and a human boy met on a beach. It was dark and red-tinted.

I woke up from the dream within the dream, and found out a young boy was going to live with us. It was the boy from my dream. We were to protect him for a couple of years and give him tests to see if he would be ready for the prophecy that was said about him; he and that girl would save the world from a tyrannical rule.

So we moved to a small house in the middle of nowhere and gave him the series of test, all of which he passed easily.

By the time of the prophecy, we left the house in the middle of nowhere and took the boy to Grog (where ever the frack that is). It was on a beach; it felt like it was a beach in the northern side of Lake Michigan. As we passed the enemy camps to get to the beach, we were ambushed and captured, and taken to one of the tents in the center of the camp. We were tied to posts and gagged to keep us quiet.

But it turned out we had an insider there. He was a Kung Fu master, and singlehandedly laid waste to everyone there, while carrying me, still tied up. He freed us all and untied us, and we made our way to the beach as he continued to strike down everyone in our path, easily.

When we got to the beach, the sky was all prismatic and rainbow, a bit like oil gets when it spills on pavement. I got out my phone to take a picture, and I remember I was thinking only in hashtags for a good five minutes of the dream. For instance, while I was taking pictures of the rainbow oil sky, I was thinking #nofilter and #wow.

Then, the lake caught fire and the sky turned deep orange. I took a picture of that, too, and noticed a large, dark castle out in the water. There were rocky spires around it, and a giant dragon statue out of black stone at the front gate of it. There was no bridge to the castle. My mom called the castle Grog when I asked what it was.

We all turned West and walked along the beach, where we found the smurf-like girl from my dream. She stood at a big stone gate. Our boy walked up to her, smiled and hugged her as if they were old friends (even though he'd never met her before). He embraced her very awkwardly, though, too. Since he was a young boy still. They held hands and each touched the gate, which opened with a whirring sound. Some white mist gets released from behind the gate, which spreads over the whole area, lifting the fire and returning the sky to a normal sunset.

We all leave the boy and girl together, for some reason. Like they had a lot of catching up to do. Like, thousands of years of catching up to do, even though they were only 10 at most. While they talked, my family, the Kung Fu master, and I all painted bright, colorful, happy pictures over all the symbols of the tyrannical regime we could find.