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Sleep Time: 5:30AM-2:30PM
Methods used: WBTB (11:30AM-12:05PM), MILD

So I've been into LD'ing for years now. Every now and then I pick up the urge and motivation to have a lucid dream but have never really carried out with it past a week. Anyway, today was my second attempt at having a LD since I've picked back up with it a few days ago. I utilized the WBTB method as I've done this before with luck. Well it took me at least an hour to fall back asleep after being up for 35 minutes. I had this long drawn-out dream (non-lucid) and it was fairly interesting and vivid. I remember all of it like I had just woken up still. Towards the end of this dream I realized it was only a dream, w/o doing any rc's. Right after realizing, everything went black and I felt myself in bed, eyes closed. I felt the rush of sleep paralysis briefly and heard myself breathing heavy. I knew what was going on so I just lay there still as ever and try to visualize a new dream scene to fall into but was having some troubles. I decided I'd just go back into my previous dream instead and go from there (I now know this was a DEILD, and it happened completely unintentionally, but I'm not complaining!). Almost instantly I am back in the dream I was having before. I was lucid but everything around me was a little blurry at first. I'm surprised I didn't wake up out of excitement like I've always done in previous LD's. This time I was in a building two stories up. It was about sunset on a summer-like evening. I saw an open window and decide to start sprinting toward it then dive out. I swooped down just above the ground with good speed and flew around the side of the building. I thought to myself, "It'd be nice to see a dream character" and two seconds later I see one in the corner of my eye leaning against the building but decide not to pay too much attention. I continue flying just above the ground and up along a hill, so close if I reached down I could feel the green blades of grass between my fingers. I shoot up to about tree line and get a little higher but for some reason I got disoriented as I tried to go any higher (lol) and fell a few feet out of the sky, butterfly in stomach effect and everything! I kinda laughed at this sensation and continued to fly a few more feet until I just woke up. Longest LD yet, lasted probably 10-15 seconds (as opposed to 5..). The dream itself wasn't my most vivid LD, however, but it's definitely a start, esp. after being only my second try with it. Very satisfied with the outcome and can't seem to get it off my mind today. In my next one I definitely want to at least try and improve the clarity. I know how to do it and everything, and it did cross my mind when I went lucid earlier, but all I seemed to care about was getting some air.

I had a sixth lucid dream last week, but forgot to write it here... (Whoops)

But yes, I finally had control! It wasn't much, but it's a start. All I remember is being in this weird building, and there was a clock high up on the wall, and rather than the clock moving by itself, I appeared to be controlling where the hands were going, with my mind.

Fairly short lucid... there was probably more, but like I said, I had this dream a week ago, so I guess I don't remember...
Maybe it isn't so hard to control them as I thought it would be...

...No rating this time, lol.

Result of a few WILD attempts, not as good as yesterday or day before yesterday(I haven't posted both in DJ yet, need to find time to write them) but still one short lucid though, i need to practice to notice the shift to dreaming state.

Nap #1(non-lucid):

I and LV was playing an shmup video game with some sort of mspaint-ish graphics, i was controlling the level boss, LV was controlling the player character(both player and boss characters were girls). I was using various patterns looking at the list on the side of screen for the help on combos, LV was dodging them easily though. Then i figured out that being close to player character automatically shoots small projectiles every now and then. Eventually boss character ended up ramming player character and player character was somehow stuck outside of screen. Dream ended shortly after.

Nap #2(non-lucid/lucid/FA):

Not only i missed transition completely, but started the false awakening with closed eyes, i heard that my mom entered the room, but it wasn't unusual since sometimes she wakes up close to the time i was taking this nap. She started trying to wake me up so i opened the eyes and took off headphones, mom was indeed in the room, but before i could say anything i noticed that sound from headphones was still there, though i truly woke up shortly.

Nap #3(non-lucid/fragment):

I was shooting yellow lasers from my fingers and accidentally burned my food that way, whoops.

The first dream I remember having involved me driving down the road on a single-track road. I looked to my left and saw 2 cats, one on either side of a gateway, perched on columns, both staring at me oddly. I looked back to the road and saw a cat about 10 ft in front of my left tire. No time to steer avoid it, I just hoped that I wouldn't hit it. As it came closer, I clenched up as I felt a thud... I heard the cats on the columns (and others, I assume) meowing loudly, almost angrily, when I saw fourth cat about 300 ft ahead jump into the air and sort of divebomb toward my windshield. I was scared for what was about to happen and as the cat came closer, I realized: "Holy shit, cats don't fly.." I went lucid. Unfortunately I don't remember much of the dream from the time I went lucid. I just remember the cat disappearing out of the sky, and that really familiar feeling that comes with lucidity in a dream. Shortly after, I was no longer in my car, and I remember jumping over a building (I usually attempt to fly in my few lucid dreams, but usually end up jumping really high and landing). At some point I believe I lost lucidity, because I don't really remember much else.

In my next dream, I was meeting my father at one of his friend's houses, I believe. I don't remember why he came up (He lives about 3 and a half hours away from where I'm staying now), but he had in his possession a bag of cocaine, which he was debating on letting me have for the longest time. This is completely out of character for him, as it's an old habit that he has long since kicked, and something he doesn't want to happen to me. He ended up giving me the bag, which I figured was a little more than a quarter-ounce of coke (about 7 grams, which is a lot of $$$). I remember him getting mad at me for even accepting it, because he knew I was going to sell it, and disappointed that I even knew people that I could get it off to. I remember putting it in a secret pocket in one of my hoodies and eventually leaving (there was a lot more conversation I don't remember, but unimportant).

There was a time-lapse which I'm not sure if I should consider a separate dream, or whether it was even related to the last, but I ended up at my mom's apartment (where I currently reside). When I open the door and come in, she comes from her room to greet me, and I can almost immediately tell that something is wrong with her. She's drunk, and it's extremely unsettling because she's been almost 3 years sober now and I didn't think she was on the road to relapse. After exchanging some words with her, I see some middle-aged dude emerge from her room and I stop talking to her, since she's not saying anything important due to her intoxication. I immediately ask, "Who the fuck are you?" and he said he was her friend. After a short interrogation, I came to the conclusion that she recently met him and he pretty much brought wine over, not knowing she was a recovering alcoholic. I told him to get the fuck out my house or I'd be forced to call the cops, and he told me something like since it was her apartment, he wasn't going to leave unless she said so. The next thing I remember about the dream was the most unsettling. I'm not sure how it got there, or why, but there was a katana in place of where my guitar usually sat propped against the wall. I told hold of it, and threatened his life unless he left the place immediately. He taunted me, saying the sword was probably dull. For some reason, he picked up a pillow off the couch and I took a slash at it, cutting it cleanly into two. His face, I remember, was priceless. He was scared out of his fucking mind, and that's about all I remember before waking up.

The last two dreams I'll classify as nightmares. Both of my parents have a long history with drugs and alcohol, and it isn't coincidence that they both relapsed simultaneously. I think it's a deeper fear of mine, because I care a lot of both of them, and I know what would happen (especially with my mother) if they did. My dad I wasn't too worried about, because I'm pretty sure he can handle himself. Plus, the fact that he just gave me 7~9 grams of coke is pretty cool, because that can fetch a pretty penny nowadays. Looking at the dream involving my mom, I was really surprised that I was so protective of her, to the point of threatening another person's life. My mom told me after I woke up, that she heard me in the middle of the night. It's been awhile since I've had a nightmare this realistic, as most of the time it's something that doesn't really have a strong possibility of happening, and for that matter, doesn't seem so real. I was legitimately scared for my mother's life here, and I think that's what drove me to the point I was at when I was ready to take that guy's life in her defense.


I had trouble falling asleep that night before dreaming. I'm sick right now, which has a lot to do with it, but I used the mantra: "I will have lucid dreams tonight" repeated about 150 times before I quit counting, just trying to keep dreaming in my mind before falling asleep. I remember trying to picture something specific as well, which was originally a giant horse*** (big enough to step on buildings), which eventually morphed into a giant cat. This may have some relation to my first dream involving cats, but I can't be sure.

***I figured trying to picture something completely unrealistic and keeping it in my mind before going to sleep might trigger that thought manifesting itself in my dreams. I figured a horse the size of king-kong is something you don't see everyday, and should immediately tell me that I'm dreaming if I were to see one. The horse ended up becoming a cat as I lost focus while succumbing to sleep, and it's possible that it did have wings; like the cat that triggered my lucid. I can't recall at this point. I'm not sure if this is a common method for triggering a lucid dream, but it's something that seems to give me results and will continue to keep trying as I document my results in my DJ

This picture is some what related

I never thought i'd post here, but
This dream i had was so powerful to me (emotionally) that i actually made an account to post it. It is straight out of my phone's memo.

Pre dream:
That night i set myself for sleep as i usually do, opened the window slightly to let the cool air come down on my warm, blood red blanket.
I took my shiny chrome earphones and wore them, a gentle push to secure it in and proceeded to plug it into my phone that was playing
a calming winter wind sound. There i am, listening to the howls of the winter wind, my brains weight fades away to the center of my body
and spreads across my back. The wind faded, I feel as if i was floating on a cloud with random thoughts coming in and out of my head.

Dream:

Stage 1:
There I am, walking with my friend Kevin towards my house, it was a very dark and quite night. I reach for this familiar looking
buildings gate and open it, the coldness from the handle reached my hand and made me shiver. Across the hall i see the elevators, but
there is something very different as i look into one of them, there she is, a beautiful girl standing between the cold, silvery steel doors as
they close. The warmth told me i knew this girl, i try to smile at her with a confused look on my face, so confused that i can feel the muscle
from underneath my eye. She smiled back and waved with her pale, soft skinny arm. I saw myself reach out for the elevators button,
it turned bright red as i pressed it, but none of the elevators came and all i heard was the sound of tension between the steel cables
and the elevators as they moved.


Stage 2:

Its Kevin, i hear his voice calling out from my right shoulder. The elevator is here. I look up to see her there, i feel that same heat generating from
within my ribs. An uncontrollable pulse in my neck keeps accelerating the longer i stare into her eyes. Everything stops, i take a deep breath and
ask if we have met before. Like an immature teenager she smiles wildly with her naked soft lips and says no, we haven't. I smile back and stared
into her blue hot flame eyes. The pulse in my neck is accelerating even faster and i feel it burning my blood tight skin, the walls around me
are falling apart and Kevin has fallen with it. The overwhelming sensation overloads my head and fades me away.
I open my eyes, nothing but dark void. Am i blind ? i ask myself, the warm orange light coming from the lamp across the brown walls answers my question.
She is standing to the left of the lamp, she asks me if i want anything, I open my mouth trying to reply but nothing is coming out so i just sit back
and observe her moving across the room. Her naked feet move across the thick red carpet towards me, i feel my body lowers down as she sits
beside me. Her soft lips are moving, but no sound can be heard, i can't resist the urge to kiss her so i reach for her lips with my eyes closed
felt her lips as i kissed them aggressively and uncontrollably. All i see is the image of our tongues wrestling in saliva, i feel her warm soft thighs
rubbing the top of mine, i inhale her peach scented hair and reach for the back of her slim neck.
The warm orange light turns off and instead, its a flickering cold blue neon light coming from the bottom of what looks like a door. The light
is coupled with steam, is she taking a shower?. I look around me and find a pink lighter and a little LED keyring that lights up whenever i
press on its sides, i closed my eyes. The bright pink lighter morph into a pink handle of some sort, but my attention was taken away from it as i hear the door
open, the same door that i could see the lights coming from. Its her silhouette and steam radiating from her body as she walks towards
me again. Nothing, but a fluffy purple tower is on her skin that is covering her private parts which makes the blood rushes to mine.
I extend my arms and put my hands on her wet thighs and feel her soft textured skin as i make my way up to her private part, her body
contracts as soon as i rub her and i can feel her thighs pressing on my hands. Blackout again.


Stage 3:

Rough powdery texture on my face, i open my eyes to see myself on a warm side walk. I stand up and notice a shadowy black
car with two men in it, drops of sweat scattered on their blue uniform as they dripped from their tired heads. I look to my left
sun burnt shoulder and see the same girl again, she is standing there in a distance looking confused. I walk up to her and wave with my heavy arm.
She smiles, suddenly yells out, i can see a vein filled with rage blood on the side of her neck, i tried to ask what, but
she turns away. I tell her to look me in the eye, but all she does is tell me to get away from her, look in my eye, look in my eye,
and with a cracked sad voice i say look in my eye for the last time and she does, she stares into my thoughts, i feel like a god,
i feel like a devil, i feel like i just found everything, i feel like i have lost everything. All ends when she walks away. I could care
less. A crazy looking man in his 30s laughs hard, his burnt black hair vibrates as a breeze hit us both and i ask him what happened.
"Two people meet, two people complete, two people drop, one walks away, one gets his body blown away." Wanna know who ? he asks
I feel sudden adrenalin rush in my body, i am scared, i feel terrified, i feel the sweat in my hands dripping away and tell him please
be it not me. He laughs again and says its her, for some reason i feel comforted, i laugh too, LET HER BE i shout and look over to see
her walk away and about to explode. In the far distance all i see is a small figure of hers, her light scarf is dancing with the breeze, too bad you're dead i say,
she throws something in the air and runs towards the wall. I feel my feet vibrate and a sudden wind hit my face, sharp dust
particles like crystals rips my skin away, whatever she threw must of been that bomb that crazy man was talking about. I look over at the worry lines on his forehead and i ask how did she know she was going to explode ? what is going to happen now ? before he could answer she jumped out and got him into
a head lock, her arms was squeezing his sweaty, slippery throat and tells me to reach out for his bag and throw it to her so
she can tell the cops, he tells me better not unless i want to die. I pick up the dusty black bag without a clue as to what i should do, i start walking slowly
hoping to see the cops, but at the same time i don't want to die. In the far glare I see what looks like a garage with four guys inside of it
i walk inside and the cold air hits me, everything is dark as my vision hasn't adjusted yet, she has dragged him here into the garage, i don't
know what to do, i want him dead, but i don't want to risk dying. I twist my arm and put the bag behind my back, i feel
an edge from within the bag pushing against my back. As i'd hoped, she gets the hint and walks to the other side to grab
the bag hoping that he wont notice us. I see a motion in the side of my left eye, it is one of the guys, he grabs her off my side and pushes
her at the wall, the other two hold me, they know what we were planning. I take a deep breath and tell them to leave me, they do
but everything turns into huge vibration to me as i feel the crazy mans shout from behind me, goose bumps all around my back
i start shaking. He reaches for his gun shoots her in the head all in one move, looks at me, my pulse stops, i say NO!!! he shoots me, i feel no pain
as i crawl into a dead position with fear filling my lungs not air, i am drowning in my own blood. He must of missed first 3 shots, but hes shooting more, 5 more shots and runs away. Is this how im going to die ? i hope that i die, is this a dream ? no it is real, im going to die. I stay on the ground
waiting for death to take me away, i know that i am damaged, i feel my left jaw numb and a sharp pain drilling my neck, my teeth are
cracking under tons of pressure, i can not unlock my jaws. I stand up, i see a mirror, left jaw is broken, my face is deformed, i know there is a bullet in the back left of my head, but i'm too scared to touch it. I feel my face screaming in pain and agony, but nothing is there,
just the muscles holding on tight. I better die, i do want to live like this, not anymore. I drop on the ground just outside of the
garage and wait for my death. Is this real ? am i dreaming ? no, it is very real, my life, is gone. a far sound of car brakes, i look up, why
haven't i died yet? its the shadowy car i saw earlier. "You'll be fine kid, animals survive that shot, lets get you to a hospital" he tells
me, but i don't want to live like this, i want to die, is this a dream ?? i ask him. No replies, he just walks away. I get in the car with
the other two cops, they look at me with a shocked face, but trying to hide their face expression. I'm holding my jaws shut gently
and ever so carefully so that i won't feel any pain. Blood drops from the side of head meet their fate with the rest of blood
that i gathered in my hand. We're here he said, i get out and see a dental office sign, sick people and depression filled atmosphere,
I panic yet once again and yell IS THIS A DREAM ? PLEASE TELL ME, IS THIS A DREAM!!. No answer, thoughts overwhelming my head,
wait a minute, a reality check is all i need. I looked at my dry blooded hands to see 2 missing fingers, i must of lost them during
the shooting, i check again, same thing, my hands are the same, i'm not dreaming i cry out loud. Everything in my head comes to
sudden stop and a very cold wind fills my lungs, i look at my hands again, the missing fingers are there, I AM DREAMING.

END: There is more after i figured out how i lucid, i will tell you the rest if you guys are interested, meanwhile, hope you never have this dream, unless you'd like one for some reason.


additional info: I usually lucid 4-10 dreams, but this dream i can never understand.

Headlights fly by as the rain patters lightly on the windows. The passing of which I've always found to bring back a sense of passing time, reminiscent of what'd I imagine it feels for the passing of stars. Our very own sun, cognizant of its own gliding through the deep expanse of outer space.

There is a driver at the wheel, but the sky is dark and her face remains in shadow. An accompanying sense of familiarity falls over me though. Only one could bring this sense of comfort. Mel. My eyes dart to the left and right, looking for anything out of the ordinary that might be in the sky. An age old habit. One acquired by watching far too much of Star Trek and the X-Files in my youth. Or does it predate that? Does it have some basis in the actual collective memory reality of our species? Perhaps there is a reason we look to the skies. Something deeply embedded within our collective unconscious, the return of the holy feathered serpent of our world's mythologies. Quetzalquoatl, Nehebkau, or perhaps the Chimeras depicted on the hieroglyphs of ancient cities.

Then I spot it. A streak in the sky. Gliding like a banner in the wind, rippling up and down like a wave. A white light radiates outward from its body, lighting up the night sky in the distance. That is it. The feathered serpent. A radiant white chinese dragon, even more beautiful in real life than portrayed in their artwork. Natural and fluent. God-like. Truly a spiritual being beyond anything of earthly realms, but there it is right before my eyes. Does Mel see it? She doesn't seem to notice.

"Mel, do you see that?"

She looks to the right and seems to spot it, but no words come from her mouth. Speechless it seems.

What is that? Another one. Wait, no. Two. Three. Four? Several of these serpent-esque beings fluttering through the sky. That one actually has wings and almost appears to be a gargoyle. Wow, amazing. Something attracts my gaze on the left. Holy mother fucker. What the FUCK is THAT?

A gargantuan entity emerges from the woods on the left side of the highway. Enormous, unearthly, a beetle like being of epic proportions. Its eyes burn with fire. This isn't a threatening being, however. Merely powerful, wise, ancient. It remains still, hovering over the road, observing the surroundings. Is it even living? It could almost be the entrance or the stone guardian of a holy temple - a gateway into the underworld. Into the world beyond the scope of human comprehension, veiled to us by our rigid intellect and desires for power.

I am entering the realm of the Gods.

Or at least some hidden plane. Beings surround our vehicle. Is there even anyone else on the road? Discs fly through the air. My god, these again. Classic saucer UFOs? Those things only appear in my dreams. Wait a sec... Duh. I'm in a dream. Wow, this is intense. Can I even get a handle on this one? There are living spirits all around me.

The sky fills with saucers and spirits, winged serpents with their white light fill the sky. These could have even been interpreted as angels in some cultures. From the distance the resemblance to chinese dragons and angels is hardly distinguishable. Regardless, their power can be felt from miles away, even as they sore high above the Earth. Such an alien power, impossible to say whether as to its benevolent or not. It is just so foreign to our own sense of self.

You're losing track of things, M. This is a dream. Remember not to be drawn in to its splendor. The distraction of your mind's own creative power. This is a dream.

Then why can't I control anything? The usual techniques are not working. No power of flight, no time/space manipulation or ability to alter the entire emotional feel of the setting. This is strange. Is it a dream..?

Wait, that's Mel's brother. I'm in her house. Was I sleep walking? Kid looks like he's about to puke. Either that or he's just really stoned. Neither would be uncommon for him. Hmm, my vision is blurry. I must have taken out my contacts. Definitely sleep walking.

"You okay, DJ?"

"Hah, man. You're totally fucked."

What could that mean? He points at the floor beneath my feet. I stepped in something. A puddle. Okay? DJ holds up a small vile.

"No fucking way. Did you spill that on the floor, dude?"

He starts laughing. You've got to be kidding me. I've been dosed completely by accident. Jesus Christ, how often does this have to happen to me? That is far too much acid in one spot for a safe trip. In no time I'll be going ape shit. God fucking damn this kid. Oh well, there is no stopping it now. I might as well accept what's about to ensue.

Everything is warped. Waving. The walls are alive. "Throbbing with energy" as Terence McKenna says. It has begun. The onset is surprisingly slow. The buzzing rises through my ears, disintegrating my surroundings. I feel the sun. I feel another environment. Where is this? I know this place, I have been before. Though I am accustomed to its flavor, the taste of deja vu is beyond uncanny. Is this still Mel's house? Is this reality? Was it ever? Don't forget, the questions don't matter. Illusions, merely fabricated by our minds to prolong the discovery of truth. There is no stopping this though. I have been thrown into the pool, regardless of my preparation to swim. Entheogens don't hesitate. This is all or nothing and now the walls are coming down. Light begins to seep through the cracks. The environment shifts. A wall to my right now. I am lying down. Windows to my left.

Is this.. my bedroom?

I have re-emerged, back into the so-called "real" world. The collective memory reality. The ingestion of a psychedelic substance within my dream consciousness transitioned me back into waking consciousness. No matter how many times I have experienced that it will never cease to prove fascinating. The human brain truly is a receiver, capable of tuning into a multitude of channels across the cosmic radio. Switch one neural receptor on, another off, and you're broadcasting at an entirely new frequency. Receiving, broadcasting, the difference is the same. Both a generator and receiver of consciousness, filtering the endless waves of quantum energy through the intricate networks of evolutionary design.

Is this reality any more real than the one I was just experiencing? I noticed no gaps between my perception. It was but a continuous flow. Sleeping into waking. What is different? What was ever different? Is the reality tunnel we send our gaze through any less relevant there than it is here? When all is said and done, life is just a memory after all. An ephemeral thought. A dream.

Somewhere up Strange Creek - an open field with a house in the corner where the woods start, next to a creek. I have my 3 cats there and I'm with Stacy (old roommate). I'm not sure what is going on, but there are storms outside and I'm worried that the cats will knock water into the space heaters. I think I'm baby sitting someone's kids. I decide I want to go to my grandparents' house. So I pick up Wellie and start walking out into the field. Wind is blowing and it is getting dark fast, so I run back to the house, still holding Wellie. I decide to try again so off we go. I see a twister on the horizon, and that triggers me to do the hand test. I can only do one hand because I'm carrying Wellie with the other one. I turn lucid and I start to fly all the while never letting go of Wellie. The field turns into a kind of a cityscape - looks like hollywood and highland. I'm asking people for J and suddenly standing in front of me. Hugs and kisses on the cheeks. Then there is an unknown woman on my lap. J gives me another kiss on the cheek and says "it's real." Felt real.

-First lucid fragment? I realize I am dreaming on a beach and proceed to touch a palm and spin a little to stabilize it. It works, but is not very effective. I look at my hands, and shortly after that the dream collapses. It was no more than a few seconds. Wai. Is this the way it works for first lucids more often? PM me please!
-Watching a TV show where a big pterodactylus throws a little rhino onto a smaller pterodactylus that was laying on the ground.
-A girl strokes my leg. Then I kicked her. What.
-I am in the testing room from the Incredibles movie. It faded to black, so I probably died.

Hi all,

For my first dream journal post I thought I would post one of my craziest lucid dreams. This dream was wrapped up in so many metaphors and symbolism for different parts of my life and mind that I literally feel like I took a walk through my mind the night I had it. Most of the other lucid dreams I've had have been far shorter and much more subtle and impressionistic but this lucid dream was definitely the longest, and darkest of all I've had.

I'm not sure if it would be considered lucid or 'semi-lucid' as while I was fully aware of the fact I was dreaming I was still afraid of certain things in the dream that, had I of been fully conscious I would have known couldn't hurt me. I also had many moments of doubting myself and thinking that maybe I wasn't dreaming and maybe I'm awake. Anyway, you decide for yourself.

On to the dream...

It started out as a nightmare, I can't remember much about what happened before I went lucid only that in the moment my mind decided to let me know I was dreaming and 'woke me up' so to speak, I found myself in a giant black room filled with darkness and death and basically everything horrible my mind could conjure up. The room wasn't so much a 'room' as such, but more like a space that seemed to go on forever.

The space was filled with all sorts of bad things everything from demons and dead bodies hanging to negative people in my life that I've encountered. I didn't particularly feel threatened by anything, like what you would in a non lucid dream, I wasn't thinking 'oh god that demon is going to eat my eyeballs as his entrée' but more like 'make it go away, I don't want to look at it any more' This is what I mean when I say I don't think I was fully lucid as while I knew nothing was physically going to hurt me, I still didn't have the control to change what was occurring.

Anyway, I was trying really hard to make all this bad stuff go away and make things happy but I just couldn't do it. I began to have a full blown freak out, soon after this is where I began to doubt myself and for some reason I started to think that maybe I wasn't dreaming and maybe I was just going insane. Going insane has always really scared me so I started to freak out even more wondering why I couldn't control what was happening or even wake myself up.

I became so desperate to wake myself up that I started screaming out to my boyfriend at the time (who was lying beside me) to wake me up, hoping I would say it in real life and he'd hear me. Obviously this didn't happen.

After a while, I gave up trying to get out of the dream and instead tried to focus all of my energy on trying to make something appear that would help me or tell me what to do. I closed my eyes and focused and when I opened them a man sitting in a therapist chair appeared.

The man was sitting, waiting for me in classic therapist manner (one leg crossed, clipboard in hand ready to make notes) and he looked a little like Steven Spielberg. Since apparently everyone we see in dreams we've seen before there is a chance maybe the therapist actually was Steven Speilberg (haha!)

I sat in the chair in front of the therapist and told him frantically that I wasn't sure what was going on, I thought I was going insane, that I didn't know why I couldn't control anything and that I couldn't make it go away. The therapist told me that I couldn't control everything, that I just had to stop fighting it and embrace it and that I would find out more later.

This conversation went on for a little while before I ventured off into the vast darkness, still quite terrified although wanting to take the therapists advice, I tried to embrace it, I tried to let go of my fear. I kept walking and the darkness began to transform into a beautiful dream landscape. Bright colours, patterns, like something from an acid trip. I was literally bouncing off the walls and floating.

Soon after this moment of psychedelia the colours began to change back into more natural colours and everything started to look more real again. I looked ahead and the landscape transformed into my old primary school assembly hall. It was like walking back through a memory and I could see the childhood version of myself at assembly. I examined myself for a second before I went up to child me and hugged myself. I felt at peace and happy, like I had reunited with a piece of myself.

Then my childhood self turned into some kind of tiny demon and started attacking me, I couldn't get it off me so I bit it's throat out and ended up waking up panicked and scared.

Was short, but I was running and I realized I was dreaming. Then the dream ended after I lost concentration.

It was dark outside. I was in the kitchen with my mother enjoying a bowl of warm soup in front of the stove. My mother was standing to my left as I ate. I brought the bowl very close to my face and very quickly, I realized I was dreaming! I don't know what caused me to know why I am dreaming, I just asked the question am I dreaming. After realizing it, I went all crazy and started yelling in front of my mother's face and releasing all the excitement I had. That was probably why it ended so quick.

I also had another dream, or it was after this one(I don't remember), and this time I was walking on a really long dirt road somewhere in the beautiful meadows. There were also other people walking with me. I tried to keep up with most of them but there was a girl I found attractive. She was Valerie. I saw her in a few dreams, I never got to talked to her in waking life. She looks the same in the dream.

I walked a little bit more and encountered a few animals on my way. There was a small dog chasing me. I'm not sure what it wants. I remember it was attacking some other time in the dream. There was also a cat behind me but it didn't seem dangerous. I saw the dog coming after me and when it finally did, the dog and the cat were fighting each other. It was either a good thing or bad thing. I was never sure which ever one wanted to eat me.

I'd have to say I had maybe like 5 different dreams tonight, since the order is beyond me, I can only guess it went like this:
Lucid Dream, False Awakening in a Mall, Roberto driving, Garrysmod, and a getting caught with Salvia Divinorum by my mom.

The Lucid dream stated like this. I was outside, in a somewhat open park area. There was a street light near by, a tree, a curb leading to a road, and buildings in the distance. I was doing a general nothing-ness, and the reality of this struck me, and I so non-chalantly came to the realization I was actually dreaming, and I felt like I should start actually practice flying, so I did. Instead of running, and jumping, I laid down, on my back, and focused on upward movement. First couple seconds, nothing, but slowly, I started moving, and I continued to focus, reinforcing the fact that in a dream, I am only limited by myself, and moved faster and faster, till I was actually about 4-6 feet off the ground, and gaining! I re-positioned my body, and began Superman-ning through the dreamworld, up, up up up into the air, and I didn't really pay attention, but did realize buildings, trees, and other things were getting smaller, farther away, as I headed towards the clouds above, in the classic SuperMan pose. (One Arm in a Fist pointing extended forward) I rounded out once I came to the 'cloud line' and went straight, thinking "I could go ANYWHERE in the world!" and looking back at it now, I should've visited Maria in her Dreams, but oh well. I considered my freedom, but instead decided to just fly towards the nearest buildings, into the town, passing entire blocks and busy commerce. Basically this for awhile.

Then a false awakening, I was in a mall with Roberto, and Lexi and her 'dad' was there too, and I went to tell Lexi about how I just had a Lucid dream. Either me, or Roberto, or for some reason, my mom, said something to Lexi's dad, that he got mad at us, demanded Lexi that we leave, as if we were all a group, so we all head outside of the mall, and to the parking lot, where Roberto had his car right near the door. Lexi's dad asked "Well, are we leaving or what?" and I was confused, Roberto said "yeah get in" and I tapped his shoulder, whispering him the reminder that they didn't come with us, and they have there own car. We both got it, and Lexi and her Dad stood around, also realizing they had a car, so it was somewhat of an Awkward moment!

Once we were off driving, we found ourselves in a giant circle, with giant 2, 3 story houses, some with Christmas lights, since it was night time, and the circle was very hilly, and at the end of it, we were climbing up, then rolled down, and I think we came a little close to crashing cause he was talking to me distracted. either way we got out of the neighborhood.

I arrived to a place, where Roberto showed me a 'game' except it was Garrysmod, and a part of me was like "OMG YOU PLAY GARRYSMOD????" But what I showed was no surprised look, so I told him "Yeah man, that's Garry's Mod, I used to play that all the time" which is an understatement, seeing how i've racked up about 2500+ hours on that game. Soon, I became a character in Garrysmod, in some $$ level Residential neighborhood, where the players we boarding up the walls of the houses with props. I met with Takaishi, an old friend from my Garry's mod days, and had some fun!

In this world, which slowly morphed into everyday reality, I got a hold of a small Mason Jar of Saliva Divinorum. It was an extract, and I remember when I had it, it also came with a large orange capsule that could fit the Mason Jar, plus about 15 packets of Saliva Mix that you could pour in water, like Crystal Light. I opened the Mason Jar, and gave it a good sniff, and immediately got very tripped out, euphoric, and trippy. My mom suddenly appeared, and took it away from me, but luckily I had two packets in my pocket, but I got mad at her since I paid like $100 dollars on it, and she wanted to flush it down the toilet. The dream ended as I was on the search for where she hid it in the Garry'smod house I was still in/mall

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So I finally had my first lucid dream, but this didn't happen last night. This happened December 29th.

As soon as the dream came into view, it automatically came to me; I was in a dream. I looked at my surroundings: I was in a grey building and I had a pistol I was holding, but I viewed everything like a first person shooter. The first thing that came to my mind was that if I'm in a first person shooter, there might be other people in the building that might want to shoot me! So, the first thing I looked for was a doorway that led me out of the building. As I was looking for the way out, I came into a classroom that had a bunch of people from my school, but they all looked like they were mad at me for some reason. I just walked through them, when I saw the exit door. As I go towards it, some girl trips me...so I punched her in the face. Then were boyfriend got up, and I just shoved him. "This is stupid," I said to myself. Before I opened the door, I thought to myself there will be a town behind this door. Sure enough, there was a town that looked like a map out of Modern Warfare 2. First attempt at controlling something: successful.

I walk down the sidewalk and I see a few strange things, like a couple sitting at a table with a bunch of baby dragons jumping around them, giant air waver things on the ceilings of buildings (like the ones you see for advertisement), etc. Anyway, as I go down some ally I come to this opening with a fireplace in front of me. I look at the sky and think I wonder if I can make myself fly. I flew off the ground a little bit, about 12 ft, but then I fell back down. Well that won't work. I turn around to go back, but then I see my Uncle Anthony sleeping on the steps of the ally. I ask him why he is sleeping there, and he just told me that he was tired. Well, apparently his head was next to ANOTHER fireplace, and his head caught on fire. I find some oven mitt and try to pat out his head, but it made the oven mitt catch on fire. Then my Uncle Paul comes from the ally and says, "I'll take care of this." I guess the only reason that he was in my dream is because I was working for him that week. I look around and get an awesome idea. "Wait, I got it!" I said to him. I look at all the fire in the ally area, take a deep breath, and then "WARGLFLARBGARL!" I start shooting a bunch of water out of my mouth and extinguish the fire, only it wasn't a steady stream of water, it was more like a wavy stream. Once everything was extinguished, my Uncle Paul looks at me and says,"Now that's a way to put out a fire...in a disgusting way." I kinda laugh to myself, and then I woke up.

Don't remember much before turning lucid though I think there were 2 attempts. It had to do with getting in an air plane - somehow turned lucid. Had a seat to myself by the window. Looked out and there was a large plane crossing under us and it looked like a great white shark. That scared me, so I turned back from the window. I was lucid so I decided to go to the North Pole and see if I could create some kind of Santa Land. Somewhat successful. There was snow and a bunch of wilderness and the pine trees were decorated. Occasionally there would be a flying elf, but I think they turned out to be just balloons. I never saw Santa, but I ended up in a cabin in the wilderness with my family (aunts, uncles, etc). Not bad.

I have had a few naps while attempting WILDs, only one was successful.

Non-lucid nap #1:

I was going into some sort of building, some other people was following me and there was soldier squad as well. There was talk while we was walking through corridors that every new creature we encounter gets numbered and that we should do something with that(don't remember much). At some point in the room we have encountered those 'new creatures', soldiers killed them with shotguns and we have added them to the numbered 'list'(can't remember how they looked, i think number was around 350'ish).
Then we went to another room, there was pool and bunch of creatures different from previous ones, they were pink skinny things, had no eyes, tentacles instead of mouth and they had 2 chicken-like, but meaty, legs. Soldiers shotgun'd those too and we have added them to the 'list' as well, one of creatures fell into pool while dying and exploded upon contact with water. After a while, everyone suddenly started dissipating and the dream ended.

Non-lucid nap #2:

I was in my room, watching something on the monitor, it was about discovery of the creatures #352, 353, 354, 355 and that they have lost contact with one of the teams(i guess my dreams were linked somehow). Then i went to different room and there was another video playing on monitor: basically there was a box with insects and such, and a bit of water. Miniature version of creature from previous dream was dropped into the box as well, it exploded after touching water and insects in the box started dissipating, dream ends.

WILD nap:

Starts with false awakening in my room, i immediately confirm that i am in dream due to stuff in the room being positioned completely differently. Mom was in the room and she was doing something with the windows. Suddenly part of the white window curtain separates and flies around like a butterfly! I look at it flying around for some time, and then suddenly mom asks: "Son?", in very very echoed deep voice. I try to respond: "What?", but apparently i can't manage to talk for some reason(probably because dream started fading). I attempt to stabilize it(should have done that earlier), but it's too late and i wake up.