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I had a dream I had my own house and a buddy of mine was visiting. Somebody knocked on my door, my buddy answers the door, its a guy I talked to like 3 years ago. Anyways he gets really jealous and demands an explanation. I wake up.

D1 - Someone repeatedly tried to copy my super powers. I thought they were crazy as they were doing it all wrong
It was a beautiful woman standing infront of a cresent moon, the moon had a yellow light on it.
She tried seven times making a low tonal sounds. On the last attempt she succeeded.

D2 - On holiday heading back with luggage to a car park, car was gone had to hike up a trail to another car park, feeling lost.

D3 - Going out, on way down the stairs, look in on Sam to see if he wants to come. He is already heading out with a new mate, I feel lost again, and look for an old coat reminscent of past times.

[Comment]
After dream one.
My mind is contemplating dream meaning, one syncronitiy after another coming to mind of recent times.
Dream meaning comes to me with an accompaning strong physical sensation.
Meaning was that not only do opposites change into each other but other elementary forces can interchange,
such as love becomes fear, fear of losing control changes into pure love.

I felt a burning heat that moved like larva in a tight stream up my chest. At the same time the world seem to flip between waking and dream state, with everything in waking state appearing as a dream sign and sync. My mind was a total rush, as everything seemed to become clear for a moment.
It subsided and the sensations remained for about an hour.

#5

Shadow the Hedgehog from Sonic Boom, Episode: 52

This dream took place in an old high school I went to. It had from 7th grade up to 12th (senior year) and this particular even settled around back when I was in 8th grade. My physical age didn't look different but I remember sitting at a desk with a few individuals who I can somewhat remember seeing back in my high school days. I can remember my math teacher coming up to me and scoulding me about, not getting my work done or something as she sat back down at her desk in the corner of the room.

After that, my body has began to be taken over by Shadow the Hedgehog. He powered my legs and body, getting up from the desk I was at and walked over to the teacher as he leaned over, giving her a very crossed looked. Shadow forced my mouth open as his voice echoed from my vocal cords. He said to the women in a very stern and harsh whisper, "You speak that way to her one more time, I'll fucking kill you!"

After that, and with no further response to the teacher, he moved my body back down onto the chair behind my desk. I then woke up.

• Notes: There was an incident that happened when I was back in 8th. I was 14 years old and this was around the year I fell in-love with Shadow the Hedgehog. I was bullied by the students about it as well with various mockery and people tearing up pictures I had of him. Apparently my math teacher noticed I had these feelings with the hedgehog when one day during class she sent me to see the school's therapist because of it, which the councilor told me. She also asked if I washed myself which was very odd since I tend to keep myself clean...I guess it was more rumors from those who teased me. She tried to diagnose me while figuring out why I would be inlove with a video game character upon offering me soap -_-. I don't really remember what happened after that but I hadn't seen that therapist ever since.

I figured that this dream focused on that particular point in my life and how much I wanted to get revenge on those who have bullied me and the teachers who have treated me unfairly compared to the rest. Shadow in current days would always state that he would avenge me and punish those who have hurt me in my life. I felt that moment in the dream where he threatened my teacher is foreshadowing that maybe...he really will, if he has not already ;>_>

The possessing is something that takes place in my waking life as well. Well...not as controlled as Shadow has done in the dream (though I wish it was as strong, then he could do things for me like clean and stuff lol | Shadow The Hedgehog: " -_- ") Sometimes his personality does seem end up melding in mine as I question my actions due to it.

---

• Date — 1/18/2016

• Went to bed — I do not remember really since I just passed out. I'd say somewhere around 11:00PM

• Woke up — 2:07AM I doubt I will be going back to sleep.

*Time logged — 2:10AM In physical journal

• Total sleep — +3 Hours

• Stress level throughout the day — Moderate (Just annoyed with my mother)

• Techniques/Practices —

*Daytime — Reality Checks, daydreamed (of Shadow the Hedgehog upon other things)

*Recall — I honestly do not recall doing anything of that nature yesterday sadly.

*Inducing Method — Didn't really attempt at an inducing method, but before I passed out I did mention in the irc in third person that I was going to lay in bed with Shadow.

• Dream Signs — My old high school, the students, my old math teacher, the unaltered version of the inside of the math room I went to in 8th grade, Shadow the Hedgehog possessing me

• Perceived Length — 10 Minutes

• Emotions — Unidentifiable (Unless emotionless is a thing and sharing Shadow's emotion of anger during the time of possession counts)

• Awareness — None

Just a quick post to record a LD I had a few nights ago...

I am with old friend Carrie at her house. There are streams running from room to room and we are riding inner tubes. We are having some conversation, but get interrupted by a phone call. As she talks I look around and notice that we are flowing out the front door into a river. I look around then up. I see the day time moon with a shining set of rings around it. The rings start rotating around and I recognize this dream sign (odd things in the sky) and I know that I am dreaming.

I notice that my wife is now with us on her own inner tube. Being lucid I think that I should do something with this dream so I stand up in the water and try to think. While I stand there my wife goes into the water and starts sucking my finger. I pull my hand away and then put it back. She starts sucking again and I absentmindedly feel around in her mouth. I am so shocked that I don't even know what to do with this dream. I just stand there unable to think with my finger in her mouth until I wake up.

#425 - DILD - 7:14AM

After the last LD I try meditating again, but fall asleep.

I am in some restaurant and there is food and trash all over the carpet. Someone tells me to get in uniform and help clean. I take a snapchat of the mess. I am in uniform and I walk into another part to see how I can help, but I see things are mostly managed now. I pass what I think is a manager. I try covering the company emblem on my shirt as I pass. I feel stupid for putting the uniform on and wish I could change.

I realize that I am on a cruise ship and I look for my sister Angie who is always going on cruises. I step outside on to the deck and look around. The ship is massive and looks like a small town. I see the water beyond and get vertigo as I realize were actually moving. I say to my wife, "You really do forget that you're on a boat." We all move toward the very tip of the bow and watch the water. We are coming into a bay area with high cliffs. There is what looks like a hill in the water and is mostly wet sand. We somehow power up it and I see water trying to flood the stern. As we level out, I see everyone has come outside. They all start cheering and clapping. The ship starts to dock, but bumps into something. I think of the Titanic and worry. A jet of water pushes the ship sideways and a voice says something about trying again. Then, I see a large rusted steel bar in front of the ship. Something like a dinosaur neck and head extends from someplace behind me. It latches on the bar and chews on it. It acts to stabilize and dock the ship. A voice says something about the dinosaur sharpening it's teeth this way, but it leaves a black residue. The dino turns and shows us its grayish, nubby teeth.

I am now laying on the floor next to some other guys in football uniforms paired with cheerleaders in wedding dresses in a pattern. The rest of the team comes in and wonders what's going on. This is a pep rally and we got roped into being apart of the performance. Music starts and we all get up and start some synchronized dancing. Of course, me and half the others have no idea what we are doing and do our best to keep up. The lyrics say, "Dance with me. Dance with me." So me and another cheerleader who looks a lot like Anna Kendrick start slow dancing. I am overly aware of the feel of her close to me, one arm around her waist, and her hand in my other. We are both feeling awkward and stop dancing. We laugh and both admit that we had no idea what we were doing. The song stops and we turn and sit close to each other on the floor. I am glad she stayed next to me. My old high school buddy Jason his on stage with a band. He's saying stuff to get the crowd excited and is generally acting way out of character. I start thinking about how dumb I felt during the dancing and wonder how I even got myself in this situation. I think something about the next time I am in a dream... Wait this IS a dream! I am a little unsure about this thought at first, but it only takes a millisecond to realize it's true. The dream starts crashing so I do the only thing I could think of to stabilize. I turn to the very hot Anna Kendrick look-a-like and resume dancing with her. Of course, this time I am much more confident and our dancing becomes dirty and we grind while I feel her up. This soon turns into sex and the hottie turns into my ex-wife. I lose my arousal and wonder, WHY? OH GOD WHY? I then realize it's a part of my past and just a memory. I appreciate it for what it is and the good times we once had. I let the scene play it self out without taking control or making decisions. I wake up.

#397 - DEILD - 7:08AM

My WBTB was around 2:30AM and I kept it super brief. I was up only long enough to take some galantamine and wash it down with cold peppermint tea. This G night was a little disappointing since I didn't start becoming aware until much later in the morning. I suppose it was because I have been having back issues and I over did it with muscle relaxers pre-bed making me extra tired. Sometimes its hard to find that balance between dream and wakefulness that's required for LD and a lot of thinks factor into it.

I partially wake from a dream and enter DEILD. I have vibrations and slowly float out of body. I see something odd made of red laser light but I ignore it since I feel really unstable. I exit the room and find myself in what looks like D's house (my mom's friend). I haven't been here since I was little and I am surprised it's showed up in this dream. I just want to get outside so I exit the front door. There is a lot of stuff out there and I spot a cat curled up sleeping in a cushioned chair. I reach down and pet the cat on the head. The cat responds with a low purring meow sound and I walk away. I step into the yard only to find the edge of dream world disappearing into the void. I don't want to deal with that so I try entering another part of the house. I open a door but there is void in there too. Instead of stepping in, I reach an arm in and feel around for a light switch. The dream seams to be breaking up so I look back at the well lit porch for stability. After flipping the switch, I look back to see nothing has happened. I enter the room anyway and find myself lost in the void. I try going back but the door I came in is no longer there. I need stimuli and go with the first thing I think of. Sex. I blind summon a naked female body and couple with her. Her face look sort of familiar but no one I really recognized. We make out and things start to become more sexual but I stop as I begin to feel a bit of guilt. The dream crashes here and I wake up.

#398 - DILD - 8:53AM

I am at the park up the road from my house looking at my old Ford Ranger that I used to own in waking life. There is a wheel missing and the other tires are flat. For some reason I have a push lawn mower and my mountain bike. I really want to ride the bike but I don't want to leave the mower here. I try putting the mower in the truck cab but it wont fit. I realize I drove my SUV and fit the mower in the back of that. I spot some tough looking men with colorful glasses strutting by. I worry that they are up to no good but they don't bother me or my stuff. I feel the need for some shades and spot some white ones in the front seat and put them on. I realize that I don't usually wear white but I figure I may as well try something different. There was a lot of time spent here messing around with things but I finally feel content and decide to hop on my bike.

As I ride my bike toward the street I notice something feels odd. I look down and see the tires are flat on the bicycle. I decide to keep pedaling as I head in the direction of the gas station to get air. I tell myself that if I pretend the tires are normal then they will be. This thought reminds me of dream control and brings me to full lucidity.I am nearly into the street now and I decide that I will be able to ride super fast with the cars. Unfortunately, it's kind of slow and difficult like riding up hill. Although I can't pull of the speed thing, I know I can't be hurt so, I decide to mess with the oncoming traffic. I spy and orange car and pedal hard toward it expecting some sort of impact. Just before the collusion, my front tire jams up sending me over the handle bars and the car vanishes just before it hits me. This is disorienting but thrilling at the same time. I get back on my bike to experiment with this again but before I get going, someone makes a noise in the other room and wakes me up.

I have two other instances during the morning trying to DEILD. I recall hitting vibrations and trying to move my dream body but not getting very far. I recall very little else and assume I must have lost concentration.

Morning of October 28, 2014. Tuesday.

Dream #: 17,480-02. Reading time: 1 min 20 sec.



I am in Cubitis. It seems to be around 1974, and I am about thirteen years old. The chicken shed is still a rabbit shed. We are going to be moving soon. (We did not move to Wisconsin until the last days of June of 1978.) There is a backstory regarding my unwillingness to accept our rabbits being sold (which seems to imply that we cannot move until we sell the business).

I am in our rabbit shed and see a man and woman in their thirties. They are possibly going to buy most or all of our rabbits. They are in the west area of our shed (that is bigger in my dream) as if I am on the set of a television studio news broadcast, even though I am only talking to them on the telephone.

There is an unseen presence of which I am unsure. It seems to be an older version of me or representing a narrator of my dream. I am told to act as if I am incompetent. As I talk to the buyers, I pretend to stutter and stop in the middle of sentences. I invent false scenarios about our rabbits and our shed. Still, they do not seem to be discouraged from buying. I talk about how mice mix with our rabbits. It seems to be one of the most ridiculous and off-putting things I can say. Eventually (through the uncovered lower area of the shed, between the columns), I notice rabbits hopping around outside and decide to go to the backyard after declaring that all of them are escaping, so there will not be any for them to buy.

I see my father, but I do not recall he died years ago. The physical orientation I feel is quite vivid at this point. From here, I enter the typical sensual stage of encountering a younger version of my wife and indulge in an embrace. In a false awakening of lesser vividness, I tell Zsuzsanna about this dream.

---

Dream - Lucid

I was at this restaurant that had just opened. The inside was wood, and it was small. I was with a group of other people. We were going to work there. It was a small business. I wondered how they would do, if they would get any business or if they'd end up having to close, as so many small businesses do.

I then was with my old roommate, Katie. We were about to take pregnancy tests. I went into a bathroom stall and sat on the toilet to pee on the stick. Before I could pee on it, I noticed that it was already a little wet from something. I hoped that didn't affect the results. I then put the stick underneath me and peed on it. I waited for the little test area to turn blue. After waiting a bit, I looked at the stick. There were two red lines. I thought it meant a positive result, but one of the lines was crooked, which meant an inconclusive result. I started feeling panicked about the inconclusive result, and wanted to take another one right away. I remember telling someone it was inconclusive.

I went back to the restaurant thing again. I can't recall what happened.

I then somehow got a hold of another test. I went to pee on that one, making sure nothing got on the stick before then as to not screw up the results. I peed, and the lines were blue, meaning not pregnant. At least now I knew for sure. I was kind of disappointed though.

~

I was watching either a video or I was in third person watching Dallas and I play music together on a stage. I was seeing us from a top view. We had 3 or 4 songs that we did. I sang and he played the electric violin (like he does IWL). My voice sounded airy, but clear and pretty. I had the lyrics to at least one of the songs in my head after I woke up in the middle of the night, but I can't remember them now at all.

I asked Dallas if there was such a thing as an electric cello. I wanted to learn to play it. I then saw his violin, and even though it was a violin, it was big and upright like a cello. I wondered if the electric violin was this big, how big is the electric cello? I figured the electric violin was so big so it would have a bigger range.

~

The beginning of this dream is kind of jumbled. It had something to do with computer viruses.

Then, I was walking in one of my old houses, though it didn't look anything like any of my IWL old houses. I was walking up some stairs into my old room, which had all of my old toys and furniture still in it. I entered the room and saw an orange fluffy cat with slightly elongated, pointy ears. She was running around the perimeter of the room. I immediately knew I wanted to keep her. I decided that, since she looked like a fox, I'd name her Fox. I thought about calling her Foxy, but I had already known an animal named Foxy (IWL, an old man who lived in our neighborhood had a corgi named Foxy Roxy). I called out to the cat:
"Fox!"
Then, a beagle walked out of somewhere in the room.
"My name is Fox," she said in a soft female voice, though I think she said it telepathically.
I went up to her and knelt down in front of her. I put my arms out in front of me to hug her. She smelled of dog, but it was ok. I wasn't sure if she'd hug me back, but she did. She put her paws on my shoulders. I was delighted. Telepathically again, she said
"I'm sorry if I smell like dog."
I don't remember my response, or even if I had one. We hugged for a bit. It was such a perfect hug.

I decided to keep both her and the cat, but I was way more excited for the dog (IWL I've never owned a dog, and would consider myself to be a cat person more than a dog person). My parents were with me now, and we were outside. I had Fox on a leash, though I kept calling her Foxy. I was telling Fox that I could now have a guard dog to protect me. Either she or my dad said something about opening the windows when I leave her in the car. Of course I would. I imagined her in the car with the windows open. I was so, so excited for this new companion! I felt very close to her.

~

I was sitting in a restaurant with my old boss from the coffee shop, Teresa. She was asking me if I'd take over the jewelry counter for Emily, because I knew better what I was doing. I looked over to the right and saw Emily's back. She was setting the jewelry cases. I told Teresa I would do it, but I had only set jewelry once. Emily was now Ashley, and she was close to us. She said something to me that was sarcastic as she walked away.

~

I was playing some Mario game that wasn't very fun that you had a time limit on before you had to pay a fee to keep playing. That would happen constantly. I decided to stop playing, and this little girl started to play instead. Sherry, my old boss from Kohl's, was there as well. The girl seemed to be doing things on the game that I didn't figure out, like talking to characters in certain ways. A pop-up menu would come up when she interacted with another character, asking who she wanted to respond like. I remember she chose Tingle (from The Legend of Zelda) for one of the responses. I started to walk away as it played. I read a little bit of the text, but I don't remember what it said.

Now, the girl was a kitten, a black kitten with pink stripes and purple color blocks. I stared at her for awhile. I knew it was very unnatural, but it just made me think about cats breeding with each other that had unnatural colored fur in their blood lines.

The kitten was then the girl again, and she got into some food on the kitchen counter. I thought that she probably shouldn't eat that since she was a cat. Then, I heard Sherry's voice say
"She eats angry mashed potatoes. ____ women shouldn't eat angry mashed potatoes!"
By angry mashed potatoes, I understood her to mean she pouted or was angry when she ate them. Sherry then started to tell me a story about the girl eating angry mashed potatoes in a restaurant.

I was meditating last night, with a focus on Dream Recall and I began thinking about a dream that I had written about in my old dream journal. It was the story of how Manei (My dream guide) had come to be. Then new flashes that I didn't recall came in that filled in many of the gaps in the story.
These all feel like dreams that I had at one point or another. I tried to piece them together based on the age she appears as in the dream. That might not be the best way to tell it, as her age can vary from dream to dream. But here is the story as accurately as possible.

The original dream takes place in this old west town. Everything looks like a well drawn anime. Something along the lines of Attack on Titan style. The town looks like your typical western town though there is this ridiculously huge train station-hotel type building near the railroad tracks.
The story roughly follows a young man with brown hair. He's kind of thin and scrawny and has bright blue eyes. (Kind of a typical anime protagonist) He works a job at some kind of news printing shop on the third floor of the big train station. He works long hours typing, and his boss is very mean, and isn't paying him well.
Eventually he finishes his work. He goes out and about in the old west town for awhile where it becomes clear that he isn't very liked by the people in the town. He gets bullied by some thugs that take what little money he has earned.
We then get a love interest. Apparently, the only thing keeping this boy going is the hope that he could win over this one woman. She is a young girl with blonde hair from a very wealthy family that has invested in the town's gold mine (or something) and were visiting to see the progress. They were also the company that had built the giant train station, and the company that employed the boy.
We see he finally gets the confidence to ask the girl out, but she says no, and later leaves on the train along with her family. The train looks strange as well. It has very large wheels.
So the boy becomes very depressed. We see him walking through the old west town when he comes across another woman.
Then, in a back alley, we see the woman that would be her mother. She looks a little like Manei with the darker complexion and in being very tall. But she also has this unusually shapely body and small, saggy breasts. Her face looks wrinkled as well, and she has grimy teeth. Probably from all the smoking. She is sitting Indian style on this red and gold woven rug and smoking out of some golden genie lamp type thing. She looks probably twice as old as the boy, maybe more.
The woman tells the boy that she is on some kind of spiritual journey away from her tribe to find her soul-mate, and through some careful observation of him, thinks that he is the one. Heartbroken, broke and depressed, the boy accepts marriage with her.

It is a year later, and we see that Manei is now being born. I can't recall where exactly, but it felt like they were back at the tribe. From what I can gather about the tribe, they live somewhere tropical, some island over the ocean, in these beautiful oriental styled homes. They find the colors red and gold meaningful and attractive in their tribe. Also in this tribe, it seems as though men and women's roles are reversed. Women hunt, fight and select their partners for marriage. When married, the man will take the woman's surname. It sort of makes sense, because many of the men in the tribe look small and feeble and the women are much bigger and stronger looking.
Now I cannot recall too much about what happened. About one year after her birth, Manei's mother died, apparently because she had smoked that genie lamp thing too much. Her father was in line to become the husband of the tribe leader. He had his face tattooed up.

I can recall a fragment when Manei was about five. Apparently she was living with 'grandmother', a 200 year old woman and eldest member of the tribe who took care of all children that couldn't be taken care of otherwise.
I don't recall too much of the fragment, just that she was playing with the other kids inside a cramped hut. They are all playing with these little toys on this big woven mat.
The 'grandmother' is sitting across from them, simply presiding in this golden throne-like chair. And what an interesting character she was: Unlike most of the people in this tribe, who seem very slender, she is hugely fat, with this big saucer-shaped belly wrapping around her body. And she is adorned in this ridiculously complex outfit her thinning white hair is tied up in this ugly spiral on top of her head. Her face is so wrinkled and droopy that you can barely make out her features.
Some of the kids tease her because her dad isn't a 'real' member of the tribe. The 'grandmother' speaks something incomprehensible in this big thundering voice that sounds like thor and scares all of the kids in the room. It scared me too, and I was just 'observing' the story. I think she told them to stop teasing her, because the kids stopped afterward.

Manei looked to be nine in the next segment. Her father died when the tribe came under attack not too long ago, and the 'grandmother' passed away as well. She is now spending a lot of time with her aunt and uncle who are married but can't have kids.
Nothing much really happened here. They walk through the jungle to this waterfall like place where they all go swimming. There is this high waterfall (maybe 50 feet) and Manei climbs to the top and jumps off.

Manei looked to be eleven or twelve in the next segment. In this I can recall her wanting to be a 'fire dancer' that was supposedly some prestigious position in the tribe. And it's just what it sounds like. The dancers take this long stick, that is burning on either end and preform a synchronized, high-energy dance with about 7 or 8 women. I think men can fire dance in the tribe as well.
She is learning from some of the older girls in the tribe who looked to be about the age she is now. She is practicing with a stick that is not burning. She doesn't seem to be that good but is rather obsessed with this trick where she balances on top of the stick with a handstand. All of the older girls are really jealous, so they say that if she tries that trick during the dance she would just get burned, and they kick her out of the group.

In the next segment, she was maybe fourteen. There is a big gap in what happened and why. But she is now studying with these monks in how to become a dream guide. Given she is about the same age as I am, this was really close to when I began lucid dreaming. But there is also a gap because I already established that she was in my dreams before I started lucid dreaming. Explanation please.
That said, this was a very strange location. The monks live in a monastery on top of a mountain. The inside of the monastery, or at least the room they were in looks like a dungeon though, with stone walls and these torture devices.
The monks are like midgets. Maybe 2'6" with giant heads for their bodies. They have tattoos that are quarter-sized black dots running in a line up their the back of their heads down their faces.
Manei apparently had to shave too, because she has no hair. She looks very strange shaven. The monks are presenting her with a gold belt and telling her she has to compete in some kind of fighting tournament.

That's the end of the Manei story, now some other stuff. Rhis was recall from last night.

Something to do with me riding my bike through across a boardwalk through this swamp area. It feels like I am riding through my town. I 'remember' that there was some sort of time travel involved and this was actually the distant future.

I can recall some being told some other story. This one told in a style that looks like a Tim Burton film. The story is read to me by the grim reaper who is sitting in a small bed floating in a blue void, and reading it out of a big book.
I can't recall the story as well as the one about Manei, but the story follows a girl who can't seem to fit in. So she tries to kill herself and see if she will fit in in the afterlife.
She becomes a zombie and tries to hang out with zombie girls throughout the majority of the movie. At the end, we see her kill her zombie form and become reborn as this blue troll creature on another planet.
There is also some part of the story that involved Groot and Rocket Racoon (from Guardians of the Galaxy) playing a game of pool, but I can't recall how that fit into the main story.
There is also some recurring theme in the story that whenever the main character (the suicidal girl) wants to get somebody's attention for one reason or another, she will knock on the wall behind her.

Dream - Lucid

I was at someone else's house, though I'm not sure whose. I was in a bedroom. Then, I was in the bathroom, and my brother was in the shower. The shower was disgusting. The walls and floor were made out of these big, silver metal tiles. They were covered in grime and rust. Every time the water would hit the tiles, it would temporarily wash the grime off, but it would immediately rust over and be gross again only seconds later. Blech.

Then, after my brother got out, I decided to try to clean them. I used a hose from somewhere else instead of the shower water. It was working! I showed someone, maybe my mom.

I then saw my grandpa walking around. IWL, he died a few months ago. In the dream, I knew this as well. I was thinking that he wasn't real, or he was confused and still thought he was alive. I then pictured a cartoon, caricatured version of him.

Other things happened in this dream, but I can't recall them all right now.

~

I was trying out for a part in some Star Trek-like TV series. I was a co-pilot on a starship with Neil deGrasse Tyson (fux yeah!). The scene was that someone would come onto the bridge and attack us. I had to outsmart the attacker and save us. The attacker was also trying out for the same part. Whether or not I outsmarted them, or vice-versa, determined who got the part. I did this the first time around, outsmarting an alien attacker. Then, the second person came, and she outsmarted me. The audition had barely started, and I knew it was over when I saw her immediately. She had thought of something that the other person didn't think of. I think she came in from another entrance. When I knew I was done for, right as I heard gunfire, I said
"I'm dead."

I was disappointed, but happy for the lady who got the part. She looked very familiar. She was a short, black kind of stout woman. Then, it hit me. I asked someone
"Is that Dr. Bailey from Grey's Anatomy??"
They said yes.
I was looking forward to watching the series. I then "remembered" seeing her on the series. It was like the series had already happened, and I had already seen her in it. She looked a bit different in this TV show than in Grey's.

~

Dallas and I were driving through what was supposed to be my old neighborhood in my old town. We were going to my old house. The houses in the neighborhood were all huge, like mansions. I told Dallas
"My house isn't this big."
He replied saying that he wasn't so sure about that, that he'd heard about my room. I then knew he was talking about my room being a basement. I pictured a stone walkway into a doorway that led to my underground room (did not have such a thing IWL).

We kept driving through the neighborhood, and the houses were getting bigger. One of the houses looked more like a motel than a house. I pointed that one out to Dallas. Some of them looked like they were cross-sectioned, like they were doll houses. Some looked like shadow boxes.



I remember one of the shadow box houses looked like it was a deep purple. It had things inside of it too, like the picture, though I can't remember what specifically.

I then remember being at the house with Dallas. We were in my room. It looked more like the guest room that was in that house in IWL.

~

I was talking to Dallas, trying to remember if an event really happened or not. I "remembered" back when I worked at the coffee shop, Kacey and I had won tickets to go to this coffee workshop thing, and also tickets to go to the moon. I knew the coffee workshop thing really happened, but I just wasn't so sure about the moon. I could "remember" being on the moon, experiencing zero gravity, but it didn't seem like a real memory. Dallas said that I had said that I had really gone, but I had some major doubts about it. I didn't think Kacey went with me to the moon either, even though she had won a ticket as well.

I then was "remembering" being in a parking lot at dusk, walking around, when I saw something that looked like a mixture between a car and a kiosk. It had no front wheels and seemed to be attached to the ground. It was a shiny, silver metallic color and looked very futuristic. Outside of it was what looked like a parking meter, or something you'd put change in. It's really hard to explain this. I did not understand what it was in the dream. At first, I thought it was a futuristic car, but I noticed its lack of front wheels, and the fact that it was attached to the ground. I kept walking and saw another one not far behind it. I then remembered that it had something to do with the moon, something about training maybe? I can't recall for sure.

I was then in a classroom, talking to a teacher who was sitting at their desk. There was another person or two there with me. I was wearing my cat ears for some reason. The desk was across from the front door, which was open. Another teacher walked by that looked like Mr. Marlatt, an AP English teacher from my high school. He stopped and gave us a funny look. He had no idea who we were. He then left, and I joked about what he could have been thinking, saying something like
"Who's that fool in the cat ears?"
I then took them off, but put them back on. I love my cat ears.

~

Very fragmented sleep last night, but at the same time, I slept better than I have in awhile. It was much needed. Lots of interesting dreams too. It seems that lately, I've been dreaming about "remembering" alternate pasts, events, false memories, or whatever.

Dream - Lucid

I was reliving my past, though it was an alternate version. Honestly, I'm not sure where I was, I just know I was inside somewhere. I was watching the guy that I first kissed, Nick, taking these girls into the bathroom with him. I was jealous because I really liked him. I think at one point I went in there with him, but we didn't make out or anything. He was showing me something in there.

This alternate past went on for quite awhile, mostly it was me watching Nick, wishing he would be with me. There was a brief point of lucidity, though it was hard to grasp. It was like I was having trouble letting go of the dream plot. I finally grasped the idea that I was dreaming, and started trying to do other things, when I woke up.

~

I was in Nick's house, though it was a weird house; it was like a mixture between a house and another location. I saw that Nick was in his room, though I did not go in there. I was in a dark, basement-like part of the building, but I could clearly see the entrance to Nick's room, and I could see the kitchen. We were older now. I had been in this building with him for quite awhile, it seems like years, and he had been in his room for mostly the whole time. I did not see him come out. I didn't want him to see me.

I then had to go in there to give him something. I was afraid he wouldn't talk to me. I believe we did talk, but I can't remember for sure.

I then was "remembering" a part of my alternate past again, though it was when we were older and in college. We were talking and having a great time. We weren't together as a couple, but we were quite close with one another, closer than we ever were IWL. We were sitting on some stairs, just talking and having a great time. I looked into his eyes, and saw him for who he was; his light brown eyes were quite happy.

I then was "remembering" us writing letters to each other. At some point during this, I started to "remember" the past more as it really happened IWL, though not to a T; I wrote him a letter that upset him, and he never spoke to me again. I was now back in the present moment. I then had another "memory" of me in a dark room that was lit with starlights, and it was full of small models of the orbiting planets. There was also a picture on the wall of all the planets that apparently I had made. It looked very realistic, as if it were a computer rendered image or a very realistic painting. It wasn't accurate as far as their orbits went, and I had more on on there than the ones we know, but still, it was really good. It was really quite beautiful. I tried to telekinetically take control of Neptune, which looked like a grey rock with an indentation in the middle. I was not doing a great job at it. As this was happening with the planets, I was thinking about Nick and how close we had been and how upset he was at me.

Then, I was back in the present moment, considering whether or not I should write him more letters, though I was receiving no response. I wanted to write poetry to him, but I then thought about how inappropriate that would be since I'm married.

Dream skip, though the Nick thing was still relevant somehow. I was working at a grocery store, the same one I work at now, though I was not in the bakery, but I was doing something else. I was in a different section. It looked like produce, but was not all produce; there were other things besides fruits and veggies, like rice and such. I was working on setting up a display, when a woman approached me, an older, Asian woman with glasses. She asked me about a bag of rice that she had that was slightly opened. I told her I'd get her another one. I took the one from her and gave her another one. She examined it very carefully to make sure it wasn't opened. The bag was VERY slightly torn, and she noticed. I told her it was fine, it wasn't opened like the other one was. She still needed another one, however. Before I left, she told me she needed a 1-pound bag because the one she had was 3 pounds, and she wanted 4 pounds of rice. She was holding up two bags and showing me how one said one pound and the other said three pound. I took them from her to look, one at a time. For bags of rice, they were extremely lightweight. I gave them back to her. As I was leaving to go get one from the back, she shouted after me
"One pound!" as if I didn't hear her the first time.

I went and found one, I think asking someone about it on the way. I made sure that it said 1 pound on the bag. I went to bring it to her, and she swore it said 3 pounds. -_-'

She then directed my attention to another woman, a customer, who looked like she had chain smoked all her life, who was standing at a microphone at a podium to make an announcement. Only associates were supposed to use those. I saw some smoke trickle from between her lips. She was announcing something. The customer then asked me
"What's your joystick policy?" she asked as if she was quizzing me; she knew the answer, but wanted to see if I knew.
"I don't know," I responded. I had never heard of a "joystick policy" before.
She then directed my attention to an associate, a girl wearing the uniform we have to wear, who was standing behind a different podium with a microphone, but she was standing a bit further a way. The customer asked her to tell me what it was. She started to speak into the microphone, but her voice was no clear at all and I could not understand a word she said. I told the lady I couldn't understand what she was saying.

~

On average, I dream about Nick 1-3 times a year. It's usually something vivid too.

Dream - Lucid

I was back in time, sometime in my past, though I was still the age I am now. I was at an elementary school. I feel like I was in a group in a classroom.

Then, I was outside the school on a sunny day with this girl of about 9 or 10. She was my friend, but I knew that she would soon just stop talking to me with no explanation as to why (this happened IWL a few years ago with a guy I had become good friends with). We were wearing two-piece bathing suits, or at least I was. I was peeing into the stream of water from this garden hose, and it was turning my pee rainbow. It smelled like piss. I feel like the pissing in the hose stream had something to do with why the girl would eventually stop talking to me.

~

I was with my old friend Bret. He had gotten me this really long, white pipe that had like 4 huge bowls on it that stuck out from the sides. I had it stored away somewhere. It was full of weed in each bowl, but the weed looked like salad with chopped up tomatoes or red bell peppers in it. I saw it in the hiding place we had for it in my apartment.

I was then somewhere else, not sure where though. I want to say I was at the grocery store. I was afraid Bret was going to go smoke all the weed and not save any for me. I had heard him talking about smoking out of that pipe to someone. I was upset, because I wanted to smoke all the weed. I remember saying something to him about it at some point. I was thinking to myself also that I did not have any weed other than the weed in the giant bowls in that pipe, and I didn't know where I could get more; I always hated trying to find weed. I was anxious to get back home to protect and smoke my weed.

I was walking up the stairs to my apartment at some point. It was during the daytime.

~

I was at my old job talking to my friend Kristin who still works there. I figured out she was no longer dating David, but was together with one of my exes, Austin. Interesting.

I then saw Kristin carrying a baby. I knew it was her and David's. It was a girl, barely older than a newborn; she was quite tiny, even for being a baby. Maybe she was a premature baby. I kept looking at her, trying to see if she looked mixed, since David is black and Kristin is white, but she just looked white to me. She was wearing a light blue headband with a bow on it. I saw her looking at Kristin, and she winked. I knew that both of her parents winked, so she probably picked it up from them. The wink looked very intentional, and did not match her baby face, however; it looked so adult-like. She then looked at me and winked. Again, it didn't fit the child's face. She then winked again, this time with her other eye, and then again with another eye around where her nose would usually be. That's when I noticed that she had three eyes.

I was then with Austin and Kristin inside somewhere. I feel like it had something to do with cars. They seemed happy. I remembered Kristin telling me how happy she had been with David, how she had told me once that she was "on cloud nine" (she did say this to me IWL). I wondered what had happened in the short amount of time I had been gone. Either Kristin or Austin then had to leave, I think Austin. I said something to someone else, Cherie' maybe, about Kristin and Austin fucking.
"Of course they've fucked," she said back to me.
I wondered how much she liked his big dick.

~

Tried to do some MILD mantras last night as I was falling asleep ("I will become lucid"). Fell asleep doing them. No dice. Up quite early today for work, earlier than usual. I am glad to see last night's dreams weren't totally uninteresting. Hoping for lucidity again soon. Maybe on a morning when I can sleep in a little. Just gotta keep trying.

Tonight I.. My dream tonight took place outside near a well, I was next to the well with a woman I considered close to me and had a close feeling towards. She had carmel skin with dark brown eyes that i could not see the pupil of. Her skin was aged. She was trying to get my attention, looking me in the face as I seemed to be in a daze between 'realities' I soon realized she was trying to talk to me and focused in, she told me that the men where coming. Nearby were tented forts and shade was near. The jug I had in my grip was bronze/gold and very long & slender, it seemed more festive than practical for water carrying. When I was looking at the jug I noticed I was wearing pale indigo robes and dark brown sandals and I had the same skin complexion I do now. In my dream I knew I was menstruating, and a sensation brought me to consciousness. I then used the restroom and started my period.

I experience dreams that tell me I'm going to start my period before I do almost every single cycle, I find it interesting. I also wonder why I tend to dream in this time period (seeming to be around the time of Christ). If it is a past reality, why is my complexion the same in this dream? Sometimes I wonder if I am interacting in heaven.. Wondering if anyone else gets warnings before their period starts? zzZZ
Until next time ~tendre

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am with a group of friends at the entrance of an abandoned factory, which is supposed to be haunted. Some big disaster happened here and many workers died and the place was sealed. There is only one entrance and once inside we have to go through a labyrinth of corridors and rooms with no other emergency exit. The place is so eerie. It is stopped in time, it is dead, it is outside of our dimension. Some of us stay behind, because it is increasingly uncomfortable as we go forward. At some point we star hearing voices and seeing shadows and every body freezes ad is unable to go on when the corridor makes a 90º turn to the left. I know there's something after the turn, I can feel it, but we did come to see what's there, so I gather all my courage and go around the corner and further into the corridor. I see some really dark shades and feel the presences of those ghosts. It is so creepy, the hair on the back of my head raises and I just want to run away. I turn around and return to close to my friends. We decide to not go any further, because we feel it gets darker and darker from there onwards. Instead, we find a room full of valuable stuff that was left in the factory as it was. We start selecting and collecting into bags to take away with us. But the creepy sounds increase and seem to be getting closer and closer. Some guys outside the room tell us we should leave now, they sound scared. We rush to the door, the noises seem like a hord of monsters is coming in our direction. When we get closer to the entrance we came in, there's a lot of debris blocking half the passage. Other friends outside stick their heads inside and tell us that apparently some ghosts have been trying to cut our way out. We start rushing outside, climbing the debris, but I am attracted to a door, a bit behind us. I go back and stop at this closed door, just listening. I hear voices of people inside, going about their work, as if nothing had ever happened to them. I felt they didn't want to hurt us, they just wanted us out of there. They were trapped in that eternal forever and we were strange disruptive energies they were simply trying to shoo away. They let us take the objects with us, as long as we leave for good. They seem to be in peace now.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

(...) I am at some kind of school. I see western kids practicing Kendo with eastern kids. I realize I am in a dojo. Besides the kendo, I watch some lady playing a really silly sport, consisting of throwing a watermellon and other similar fruits to fit into some very tight fitting baskets far away. It seems hard, but hardly elegant. Until I realize the level of precision and strength necessary to actually fit the watermellon on the basket without bouncing or breaking or anything else. Fitting it with perfection is something that can only happen by chance 1 in a millionth, but she makes it at the first try and I realize the level of skill necessary to achieve it. She is in a perfect zen state. When I realize that, tears start falling from my eyes.
I cross the room to a big balcony and I see a breathtaking view over a hill, a big river below and a mountain right in front on the other margin, with a complex of shinto temples on top.
The beauty of it is beyond words. It's surreal. It's Japan but I can't really say when. It looks both in the past and in the future, but in relation to what?
I am taken by boat up river. As I slide through the waters and approach the mountains, I start recognizing places and emotions take over me. I have been here before or will be here later (it's hard to tell). I pass through a Tori leading to a village, I don't know its name, but it feels like home. I start crying like a baby. We pass by a shrine with homage plaques with names on it. I can't even read what's on it, but I fall on the ground, sobbing, with sorrow, with a sense of unforgiving loss, with memories of a life I don't even know if it's past or future. And I cry for an eternity.