lucid

[Today was the first day of school and I was more nervous than I normally am last night. It was very difficult to go to sleep and I kept waking up.]

1) The straightener was making my hair fall out. When I was done with it I set it on the bathroom counter and seen quite a lot of my hair stuck in it.



2) I realize that I'm dreaming and I suddenly become so excited. I walk around a bit, trying to calm myself down.

Date: 6th Aug

Pre bed: gingko, 1 capsule p. oil (200mg)

Total sleep time: 9 hrs

Natural wakes: 2?, I was way too sleepy to do a proper WBTB and actually attempted to convince myself to forget about lucidity and just sleep.

Dream quality and recall: due to my extra sleepiness, I didn't care too much about recalling, and I'd say recall for the ld was more challenging as it was quite long and also interrupted two times.

Dream length: It felt very long and at the end of the dream I started forgetting some details.

Pre ld dream: I am in grandma and auntie's place with 3 friends and we are preparing to go to grandma and auntie's? I am very slow packing, as I can't find my hair brush. There are lots of hair brushes around the place but none of them is mine. I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror, I have just dyed my hair but don't like the hairstyle. I focus on my teeth. One tooth looks very wrong and not like a tooth at all. I get some pasta/tortellini out of my mouth and into the sink, turn the water on and hope it disappears before my friends come to check on me.

DILD: The earliest event that I remember is that we, maybe 3 of us, are being chased by these guys riding horses. Therefore, we have to flee. The narrator of the dream (or my mind) says something about one of them having to cross a bridge. While this happens, I cross the bridge. Interestingly, it is more like a street covered in water going to yard-like greenery.

So, I cross this watery bridge and end up in a section with water and lots of green grass and trees all around me. The problem is there is something that is preventing you from normally moving there, there are desert type of mice, very small but dangerous. I think this is where I become lucid, but since I am very sleepy, my thinking is not at its best, so I go along with the dream. The mice look cute, but keep on biting me and I have nowhere to go. As I stand there, slightly desperate that I am stuck in this place, I remember that I can modify the dream and escape the water/bitting mice trap. I simply turn to my other side and see where I can go.

There are strange ropes arranged into I have no idea what. Other DCs are using them to get out of there and safely cross (possibly over the water). The ropes look too thin to be able to carry our weight (yes, my brain is very asleep), but I still go balancing on these strange ropes, and also there are wooden beams below them on which we walk while holding to the ropes. As I do that, I notice small insects on the beams below, but they are mostly ladybugs and other harmless ones.

My memory is really bad, I know there were two blackouts, but I can't remember at what point the one occurred.

I am in the middle of the hill with the greenery and my initial goal is to move away from the biting mice, but then I just want to go down the hill. The sight gets more beautiful as I see a fantastic beach with clear green water at the end.

If I am not mistaken, I try flying to speed things up, but after ascending a bit, I quickly land in some sporadic water that appears along the way. As I do so, my body submerges in the water, I try swimming but have a void-like moment and as I emerge above the water my sight disappears. No! It's totally black around me, but maybe because it was so unexpected I can still feel the dream around me. I think that I am blind like Xanous, and remember to just relax and wait. I hear a woman talking next to me, so I concentrate on her voice and hold on to it. I may have said something to her as well. Soon the dream comes back and my sight returns, things are back to normal.

I am now inside a small house on the same hill and this DC woman is with me. I look around but the only thing I remember is some sort of pillow with the name of bf's high school on it. Then I examine the DC woman, maybe in her late forties or early fifties, with short ginger hair and brown eyes. I say something to her and look her in the eyes, expecting an answer. As I do that, she freezes in place, and her eyes are like those of a scared pray animal. I think that I don't want to cause any more distress so I let go of her and just leave her be. She then animates again and with expectations I make her laugh, so she laughs. All good. If she wants she can come with me down the hill. But I am so concentrated on the landscape, I forget about her.

I see brief glimpses of the beach, and then more trees and greenery, but at least I know it's there and am very close now. I continue my way down the hill and reach a part where it is very high, but I am almost there as I see the shifting beach/houses/yards. Here a habit from my non-lds comes in very handy. I see lots of trees in front of me, so I just hold on to a branch, and move forward with it. My desire to reach my destination makes those branches swing way beyond what they are supposed to and there is always another branch waiting for me to get on to. Swinging from one branch to another, some of which extremely fragile and with flowers on them, I make it down to the beach.

Somewhere along the way, I remember the advanced TOTM which I didn't plan of doing, but may as well try. I briefly think that this dream has been going on for quite a while and I am already starting to forget it. I look to the beach in front of me, but now instead of the yellow sand and light green water, the sand is grey and the water is dark. I try to change the color of the sand, but it remains grey. I notice how violently the waves crash and the water moves. Never seen anything like this and I have no intention of going in and trying to turn into a shark under these conditions. So, I decide to wait until things improve, and find a spot on the beach where by the way the sand is turning more yellowish. I lie on the sand and think about how I am going to turn into a shark and then maybe go in the water. I try to feel my fins and my shark body (kind of big and bloated) but the dream ends.

Comment: Now that I think about it, the location was also very good for Angel Falls or China...

Isn't it funny how after I had a lucid dream I had two nights without anything?

Welp, now I had another.

Oh, mind...

It started off with me in Africa with some cousins (We don't have any cousins in Africa, weirdness..). We were walking around a market and bought a watermelon then went on our way. I remember carrying two slices out of five. We came along a mud puddle and we jumped in it. For no reason.

*Memory blindness*

We then came to an intersection. To the left was a slight hill leading back to the marketplace, the front and back were a dirt road. On the left there was a small forest that ended a couple yards ahead. The sky was mostly cloudy, with some patches gray. It was raining.
We met with some guy who was chubby, short, white, and had glasses. Everyone started talking to him except for me, my brother, and my younger cousin. He looked to be about 6 by the way.

I started thinking about this trip. And how the airline ride went. Then I realized; there was no airline trip. I thought I just might have forgotten it, but then I did thought about doing a RC. Then my aunt said "Oh no, I can breathe, its a dream! We're not real!"
I did and RC for myself, and I could breathe! I started thinking about all this stuff I wanted to do, and the task of the month and all.

My mind, kind of got overwhelmed. I could feel it too, that anxiety of wanting to do things. The sky started flashing different colors. I started to remember the DV podcast, then I remembered the "Making out with the ground" trick.
Welp.
I layed down and started, uh, making out with the ground. I will admit, it took my mind off dreaming, I guess because you can't see anything, just dirt. Plus your preoccupied with thinking it'll work. The sky stopped flashing, and everyone looked like they didn't know a thing.

I figured I would go to France. No particular reason. I just haven't gone there before. I then tried to teleport but instead my mind brought up a map of the world. I punched France with my fist, and it took me too another map with a map of France. I popped Paris and it made me turn right. It all seemed like a really badly made video game, but it seemed to do the trick. I walked out, and I could see the Eiffel tower! I was a long ways away though, so I tried to teleport again.

But as we all know, for me, teleporting twice is a death sentence.

My eyes in real life quickly opened, then I realised what I'd done and tried to fall asleep again.

ly it didn't work.

Dream recall from today's naps.

Dream 1(fragments):

I was doing some stuff at home and then i decided to nap and i had dream where i was on sofa floating in space and there were lots of pokemons around playing some game with a ball, most of them were not from actual series though, including two huge red and blue dragon-like ones. Then some dude appears near as well, watching too. Then i wake up and there's some problem with cactuses and something gets stuck in my finger.
Then i wake up again and look at hands, they are kinda weird, so i am dreaming. I get up and rub hands, balcony door is apparently blocked by bed and some garbage so i jump through window. I go through glass just fine but i get stuck in curtains, dream destabilizes. I wake up and have very vivid HH where i look through window and buildings are moving and transforming that lasts a good half of minute.

Dream 2(fragments):

I was switching between playing and discussing some zombie games with someone, which looked like oldschool Resident Evil games. Then there was something about the nest of some queen, which made weird organic pod things, which hypnotized people that looked at them and turned them into zombies on touch. Then i was continuing with zombie games and i was thinking about choice that affected the ending.

Dream 3:

I was playing some shmup and i was on some stage where i was going through some kind of abstract place, with various shapes and abstract enemies as well. The weapon of my ship was somewhat similar to Fossil Maiden from Hellsinker, at least, frontal and sword attack were the same, but different directions activated some different firing modes, backwards activated double homing missiles. At the end of the stage there was some forest and some metal plates were falling from the top of the screen like in Solid State Survivor right before boss.
Then boss battle started and background switched to some tech complex. Boss looked like some mecha-bee thing, probably inspired by Hachi from Dodonpachi, it had various attack patterns that were synced to the music, can"t recall most of them sadly, but i remembered that i fought it before(It was not fake memory i am sure, but maybe actually different dream that i forgot), and i remembered most of his attacks, so i knew good spots where to dodge them and where to safespot, i was doing really well considering attacks were really hard and was not getting hit and was thinking that i should record it, then i remembered that there's replay feature and stopped worrying. Boss started using lots of blue lasers and fight started becoming more 3D, then i was actually in the game. Boss activated pattern where he was sweeping lots of blue lasers across the arena along with lots of projectiles all around, i went for really dangerous semi-safespot behind the boss and barely managed to not get hit. Then boss activated pattern with homing missiles and i realized that i don't know how to deal with this pattern using this playership. But then i switched to my own homing missiles and they started intercepting boss's homing missiles on the way. Boss was on very low hp and i was going to do perfect run through all attacks, so i tried to use missiles as little as possible to not do too much damage. Then as boss reached 0 HP, dream ended.

Very very rough pic of the boss that i made after waking up: http://i.imgur.com/bI8ymqP.png

The dream starts off I'm in summer school(Thank God I'm not IRL!). I'm sitting in the library on one of the computers, though I can't recall what I was doing on it. The nice school librarian(she is really nice IRL) comes over and sits next to me. We begin talking about summer and whatnot, just relaxing and being friendly. It is now time to leave and so I exit the school, and the librarian offers me a ride. So I accept and I walk down the sidewalk past a bunch of fifth graders who insult my weight. Not even offended nor surprised, I turn and shout "GAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY" at them. I realize it was a horrible comeback, and just continue walking. I'm waiting by her car now for her to get here. I look at a speed limit sign which reads "Speed Limit 45." I'm actually quite curious as to why the speed limit is 45 when this is a residential area. Someone could get easily killed like that. The librarian shows up now with three girls. Well this is going to be an awkward ride home. One guy and four girls, two who're really stuck up too. So after a long fiasco of trying to get us arranged, one of the girls ends up walking home, and then we finally drive off. I realize it's Halloween because everyone but me is wearing costumes today. I finally get home and then end up going over to my friend Zaine's house. There we watch a movie on Netflix about sex addict couple trying to become religious. It's supposed to be a comedy, but most of the scenes make it look like more of a porno to me. After the movie, Zaine and I go looking around his garage for something. I'm asked to move something, so I get in a car and back up so there's space. I then realize the neighbors have been sharing this garage and I've stolen their car on accident. I now exit the car and go about my business until suddenly, someone is there. I turn and see Jesus standing before me. He asks me how I'm doing, but I nervously answer with an "okay."
"So you're back, Jesus?" I ask. "I guess that means it's the--"
"Second coming!!!" my friend Rachel exclaims bursting in the door. She seems extremely excited at first, but then very serious. She asks Jesus to just let the world stay a little longer.
"Look I'm just stopping by," Jesus says. "But this is the last time I visit this generation!" Jesus seems quite annoyed with the generation of people obviously. He now exits the garage, and Rachel and I go after him. As we walk outside I realize how biblically incorrect this is and I become lucid. I look up now and see that Jesus is gone. Knowing that it was only an image of Him and not the real one now I simply do not intend to pursue Him, because I'd be talking to an image of my subconscious, not real Jesus. So I start flying now, and Rachel is baffled. So she begins to fly with me, making me baffled. I try to use energy to fly faster, which results in me smashing into someone's house like an idiot. I now look down and see my friend Paul. I decide to have a friendly fight, which Rachel joins in on, and shit actually gets pretty intense. I now try to use the closed eye method to do something, but I have a false awakening. And not too long after I awake for real.

At Mike M's house. Looking at his red ipod, turns out it has my name on it, it's my ipod. Looking through my closet as his house for clothes. There's my blue jacket and bruins jacket. Part of my clothes fall off the hanger. On bed, Sophia there, looking at me. Go outside, at Avon. Riding scooter to auditroium that's in the cafeteria. Campbell gets a ride from me. Get to auditorium, go up the stairs, climb over railing, jump through window, in auditorium. Climb down, sittinng. Go to bathroom to fix hair. Looking in mirror. Pizza/sausage all over my face. Be there a long time, start to think is this a dream. Not sure if did a reality check but know it's a dream. Quickly come out of lucid. Wake up.

Fuck my new format I'm lazy. I'll just make it easy on myself.

Red-NLD
Blue-LD
Black-Awake

I find myself amongst many classmates in someone's living room. The living room turns out to be my English teacher's house from this past year(I've never actually been to it or in it IRL). He is teaching us very angrily about something no one could give a damn about. He finally gives up and just makes us watch a movie. After class is over, everyone rushes to leave the creepy rundown home and get to our own homes. I leave through the garage as the door opens and the teacher's wife pulls into the garage after me. I go outside to see a very urban city setting(I live in a suburb IRL). I see many of people out and about as I begin to make my way home. But then, I do ADA and I become lucid! I turn around and a woman with half a face walks past me. Kinda creeped out now, I continue walking and contemplating what I should do. I now decide to do the hug a DC TOTM. I realize when I wake up it will be August, so there's no point really, but I still would like to try it. So I now walk over to the nearest DC and give her a big hug. She now begins to squirm and struggle to break free. I try hold the hug, when suddenly we are now both naked.

Anyone can guess what might've happened next, but I was doomed to soon awake.

Before I start, let me say this is the first lucid experience I've had since I got started with all this only a month ago, so it's nothing too big, but it's a step forward for me.

I was in a strange place, it looked like a cloud, I could see the cotton-like floor and the blue sky above me. I was holding a piece of paper with both my hands and there was a legible text written on it. I noticed my surroundings were quite weird, so I started thinking that might be a dream. I stared at the piece of paper thinking I'd see the letters moving around, but they didn't. I thought "okay, if I was in a dream these letters wouldn't probably be still, but this place I'm in... I'll try staring at the letters, look away and then look back at them again, as if in a reality check". I did it and, sure enough, the text had changed completely. I then shouted "I'm dreaming!" and as I did I started feeling like a tickling and buzzing coming from inside my chest. This feeling kept growing and I knew I'd wake up if I wasn't able to stabilize the dream. I tried to spin around first but I felt like I couldn't move. I guess it took me a bit too long to react because I started feeling my real body on my bed while the dream hadn't finished completely yet, but anyway, I tried to rub my hands together in the dream to see if I could bring it back. However, it was too late, the dream was fading away.

I'm not entirely sure I woke up because I can't remember it clearly (maybe it was a false awakening). I only remember I tried my hardest to fall asleep again as fast as possible, keeping in mind I had been lucid just a few moments before in order to enter the next dream while still lucid. All of a sudden, I felt like something was taking me away floating and I entered another dream, but I think I wasn't lucid in this one.

I don't remember much of the second dream because I woke up startled in the morning and it went away while I was trying to bring back as many pieces of the lucid experience as I could.

Anyway, brief as it has been, it's been an interesting experience. I'm looking forward to something like this happening again soon and being able to stay in the dream.

I fly near a gas station. I land there and think that I don't want to spend entire dream flying. So what to do? I remember I can accomplish TOTM. Well there are lot of DCs around the station, so it should be easy. I see truck driver and ask him: What is the meaning of life? I don't know is his answer. I try to ask 4 other DCs during the dream, but everybody say the same answer: I don't know. One of them say after I don't know: Maybe you should... but i forget the rest. Then I practice move through a wall and doors. On the first attempt the doors stuck in my body, it was an unpleasant feeling.

An insane chain of eight DILDs, DEILDs and false awakenings from this morning. Completely crazy! I apologize for the length, but it was a ton of dreaming. I gave the dreams headings to hopefully make the breaks clear. What a ride!

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #129: Map of the World

Choline
I'm standing in the kitchen with Wife as she holds our two-year-old son "R" in her arms. She asks me when I was planning to take my choline bitartrate. When I tell her that I've already taken it, R starts to wail pathetically.

"How could you take your choline without letting him watch?" she says, annoyed at my apparent thoughtlessness. "You know that he loves that!"

I'm stammering out some excuse when it occurs to me that this has to be a dream. My vision goes a bit crazy and I go more or less blind. I fumble my way around the kitchen, feeling my way from the countertop to the breakfast table and sit down heavily in a chair.

"Are you okay?" asks Wife. I really think that I'm dreaming but I feel uneasy enough that I nose pinch and blow through. Suddenly, my vision is dominated by a huge still-frame close-up of my own unshaven face shouting something. Other than that, I'm still blind. "Are you okay?" she asks, more insistently this time.

Highlander
I have a false awakening back in bed, still suspicious that I'm dreaming. Wife snuggles closer to me and I hit the nose pinch, blowing right through again.

Wife rolls on top of me and sits up. I feel excited about where things seem to be going but rather than doing anything amorous she starts saying strange stuff about the Highlander series of movies: "Did you know that Michael let us borrow Highlander I through XV? I didn't even know there were fifteen. He and [female name] love those movies."

The Full Xanous
Another false awakening back in bed, and I roll out immediately. My vision is very blurry and the whole dream scene feels wobbly to me. I think that I need to get myself anchored in and I remember my intention to try the technique of "making out with the dream scene", suggested (jokingly) by DarkMatters and put into practice by Xanous. I'd promised to try to test this so I could talk about it on a future podcast.

I move around to Wife's side of the bed. I briefly that I can test this method by just making out with Wife instead, but I realize that I'm just telling myself that as an excuse to get frisky with her. Instead I attack the corner of the mattress, totally making out with it. The sheets feel like t-shirt material against my tongue. After a moment, all sensation disappears, and I'm awake, my mouth kind of moving around. (In waking life, I believe. Pretty embarrassing. )

22:48
I DEILD into a bedroom scene and roll out. The computer monitor on the nearby desk is on, which it rarely is. The computer is showing the old Windows XP "Bliss" background with the grassy hill. The computer's clock reads "22:48".

I want to get out of the house, so I try to dive through the window. It feels oddly gummy, though, and I wind up with my torso stuck through the window. On the other side I just see blackness. I decide to back out, imagine a new scene, and try again. I'm about to make another run at it when I sort of fall back into...

Amazon
A false awakening where I'm lounging on a window seat in a sunlit room. A group of three women are standing nearby, laughing and chatting over stories about their kids. I nose pinch reality check (blowing through) and get up from the couch. As I stand up to my full height, I notice that one of the women is really tall (probably about six feet even) and very fit. As I walk nearby, she turns to look at me -- long brown hair, probably mid-30s, and very good-looking.

She starts walking toward me and it occurs to me that if I don't get away, the dream's probably ending in this room. As she joins me by the window, my quick internal deliberation ends in a verdict of "worth it". After about 20 seconds of making out, I wake up.

The King of the Colosseum
I quickly DEILD into a scene where I'm standing in my bedroom. It's very dark, so I let the void overtake me and start rubbing my hands together. I get onto my hands and knees and feel the floor, imagining sand between my fingers, thinking that the Colosseum is all around me. After a while, I can see the sand, and then the stone walls of a huge chamber. It's not the Colosseum I see, though, but more like a huge throne room with no ceiling. It's close, but just not quite right.

At the other end of the room, a cartoon king sits on his throne. He's a slimy-looking Jafar lookalike dressed in flowing red robes, and I think that he'll make the perfect opponent for Europe Task of the Year (the Colosseum battle.) As soon as I decide this, he lunges from his throne and charges toward me, a scimitar in his hand.

As he closes the distance, I decide to summon NewArtemis to help with the fight. "Jafar" is moving too fast, though, and he's practically on top of me before I can even start the summoning. Not even close, I'm on my own. I try to swing a sword at him, but in spite of my expectations, my hand is empty. My movement seems to surprise him, though, and as he stands there unsure of how to react, I grab his hair with my left hand and strike him hard on the side of the neck with the edge of my right hand.

His head pops cleanly off in my left hand. There's no gore involved, and the injury doesn't seem to slow him down much. The head spouts a series of angry curses at me before suddenly changing into the head of penguin. This shocks me into...

Map of the World
Another false awakening in my bedroom. I decide to get out of the house the direct way this time, running out of the master bedroom, vaulting over the baby gates as I move down the stairs (both gates higher than in waking life), and phasing through the back door into the yard. It's early morning now, and the pool has overflowed into the now-swampy back yard. Random objects like boxes and beach balls float in its waters. Floodlights are strung up in the trees all around me, shining brightly down on the yard.

I marvel at these changes before hopping over the fence. Rather than the neighbor's yard, I find myself in a construction site near a pile of steel girders. I try to fly, but I can't seem to get off of the ground. I walk for a while, moving past a cage composed of chainlink fencing where they're holding some kind of Little League practice. As I pass by, the kids and parents keep trying to talk to me about baseball, but I ignore them, trying to stay focused on the Colosseum.

As I walk further on, I somehow end up on a ledge on the side of a building, high above the city, with nowhere to go. I try to fly again, and this time it's easy. I shoot upward to an incredible height, moving all the way past the clouds, higher and higher until I can see the world laid out under me like a map. Some of the continents are even labeled in flowing calligraphy. I pick a spot below me, deciding it's the Colosseum, and fly downward. I'm shocked, though, when I land after flying only a few feet downward. Now I'm standing on an enormous stone floating through space. The "world" has disappeared entirely, and I'm walking on a painted mural of the Earth.

With nowhere to go, I suddenly remember the success that bemistaken just had with closing her eyes and mentally teleporting. I close my eyes, imagining the Colosseum. Without meaning to, I think of the possibility that I'll wake up when I open my eyes. I'm really worried about this, and I start hurrying. This flows into...

Commercial Break
A false awakening in what looks like an office kitchen. It's the early morning and Wife is here with me eating a bowl of cereal and watching a small, staticky television set. On it, two Russian men are arguing about photo editing software.

"Sorry if I woke you," she says. "I knew you'd want to see this!"

"I wish you'd let me sleep," I whine. "I was having a lucid dream."

"Oh really?" she says. "It sounded like something erotic was happening."

I think of saying something like "I only made out a little with a six-foot-tall woman" but this doesn't seem like much of a defense. So I just say, "Well, that's embarrassing."

"Ew," she says, wrinkling her nose and going back to her television program. I finally nose pinch, realizing that the teleport didn't wake me up at all! All of this was expectation. I get excited thinking about this, and the dream falls apart, finally ending this crazy chain of dreams...

I got a lucid again today! Pretty cool, and i accidentally succeed with a wild also i think? or it was close, i was almost asleep and i dreamed about that i ball was coming towards me, and i tried dodging. I wake up, because i dodged irl xD

And the lucid i got, was really vivid. But i got some problems to remember everything from the lucid dream. but i did dream checks and such, with success but it was weird, i looked at my hands, and they acually looks normal when lucid
I was at a strange place, can't remember where? ;o

My dream recall is a little better, but i still need to train

Wake up at 8:56am.

Curl under my blanket, and manage to WILD purely by accident.

*Note, after writing 3/4 already: I walked around with my blanket for most of the dreams, so I'd have something to feel to stabilize the dream*

Wake up in my bedroom. Somehow realize that I'm dreaming. Try what one of the experienced LDers told me to do, to find my tulpa, and go into the bedrooms in my house to try and find him, but it's only my family sleeping in their beds. Double check to see if I am dreaming, and I have 10+ fingers on each hand. Go downstairs, and my dad is on the computer. The upstairs is my current house, but the downstairs is my old house. TRIPLE check to see if I am dreaming. First the clock says 7:31, then it says 7:11. Shout my tulpae's name. Nothing. Try to "think" to him. He explains, mentally, that he doesn't know how to get in the dream. Some other stuff happens. At around 5:01 (or so the ever-changing clock says), he says he's going to bed.

Wake up in bedroom again. Check my fingers, 6 or 7 on one hand and 5 on the other. Go downstairs. There is a bunch of animals in our house, and on the front lawn. They are all the size of a cub or a puppy. I see a wolf, but it is gone before I can get to it. My parents explain that they are looking to buy a pet. I ask them if there was a wolf, and they say yes, but they don't know where it went. I sigh, sadly, and look around the house. Come back outside, there is a group of people hanging out around the house, as well as the pups/cubs, and a few anthro animals. I look up, and there's an anthro wolf wearing a trench-coat. The dream starts to fade, (This was at the end of the dream, and my clock says it was about 40 minutes long), and he points at me, and gestures me to come over. I walk over, trying to stabilize the whole time. I say "Is it you?" and he says "Yes". Then he wraps his arms around me an kisses me.

Wake up at 9:35. Ask my tulpa if it was him and he says it was.

Dream recall from today's naps.

Dream 1(fragments):

There was some anime with story about some detective dude who visited some school and was getting all clues by beating up people and in the end he found out that the teacher was behind everything and then there's some other character appeared.

Dream 2:

I am in my room, doing some stuff, and i spontaneously realize that i am dreaming, i take off a few headsets(seems to be my new reality check, multiplying headsets, haha) and then go towards balcony, i look around and it's different, more cramped than IWL and it's more structually into building. Suddenly dream fades out.
I wake up still dreaming, but can only see cloudy blackness, though still can feel that i am in my room. Dream is highly unstable. I get up from the bed and go in general direction of balcony, i hear familiar voice of attacker DC, as he gets in my way, i forcefully shove him off to the side and continue towards balcony while trying to force dream to stabilize with sheer will. As i reach balcony dream becomes stable and blackness fades, i rub hands and take off a few more headsets because why not, balcony seems to be pretty similar to before false awakening.
I jump, feel my wings and start flying. I fly to the left from the balcony and there are some yellow buildings, trees and some highways. After a bit of just flying i decide to try that idea of starting transformation from phantom sensations. I focus on them and it starts, i feel and see snout and also the side of nearest building becomes reflective, in reflection i see that my head is a head of dragon now, black/grey scales and a few horns, but as i try to move, it reverts back. I fly over some fence and there's some passage under bridge. I land and decide to go through it, there are some DCs.
I exit passage and now i am in some foggy park place(As in, natural fog), with trees and a puddle of water to the right, i take off once again with my wings and i fly higher, out of the fog. I look around and there are some tall red brick buildings surrounding the park, i fly higher and get onto the roof of one, then i continue flight. As i fly i notice that one of buildings has small weird HP bar near the roof, i get onto it and stomp a few times, with each stomp taking out part of hp bar, as it reaches 0% building falls apart in the place, then i continue flight and notice more buildings with hp bars and part of their hp missing, they look actually damaged. As i fly over one, i hear some voice saying something and then some force knocks me to the right, i fall onto the streets, but manage to land perfectly. I look around and see some buildings on fire and some factory building. I walk and lose lucidity, i walk through some streets and reach some gas station.
I wake up and i am apparently in some outdoor restaurant place and my tagbook is on the floor, some weird kid is looking at it. I grab whole thing and kid says that he knows me from dreamviews apparently. We start talking about something and then he asks if he can have some of candies that i apparently have in the pocket, there's four of them. I give him one and eat one myself as well, it's yummy.

lucid
*I became lucid instantly standing a car. I looked around at the trees and the surrounding area amazed that this is actually I dream. I felt the wind blowing and the day was sunny. I started to jump attempting to fly. After a while I felt like I was being sucked in the ground and then reemerging. This experience left me with a sick feeling in my stomach. Also all this happened in the presence of lama surya das.

non lucid
*I was up at night with my step brother preparing a warm glass of milk to help me fall asleep. We were talking different schools of buddhism. He felt that his school was better others.

*I picked to be a japanese T.V. show, but I was nervous at the fact that I didn't know japanese. My friend who was korean told me I could learn line by line as we make the show. I was excited about the idea.

*I was hanging out in an area that was secured. I was casually sitting there surfing the web.

*My girlfriends mom didn't want me to left them. I told her I had to because I already had plans. I believe was going swimming some where.

*I told me brother that I had a chance to star in a japanese T.V. show. He said if I don't take this opportunity then I am retard.

*This girl confronted me saying that her girlfriend wants me. She took me to her girlfriend to confirm that nothing was going on. haha. I did end up knowing the girl, who was actually quite hot and thought about getting with her by the end of that dream.

*My guru lama dorjee was giving a teaching. I entered the teaching late with my girlfriend. I sat very close to my teacher, then he suddenly announced I was a good student to the crowd. In the dream this didn't really effect my ego.

06.08.2013

Eva Talks About Thought-Forms and Stuff (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm in an environment that looks like a graveyard, and the contents within this dream mostly consisted of shades of gray and bits of dark green here and there. It seems that I'm mostly just watching the dream from a spectator point of view, and I noticed Eva is hiding behind pillars, and there's caption showing on the "display" in this dream, like on Youtube videos.

She or maybe someone else is talking about how people who emulate those in real life into thought-forms should just allow those people who died or exist to have a distinction. She's wearing a dark green jacket that's slightly unzipped until it shows a slight cleavage. She's wearing light brown pants and dark brown leather boots I believe.

Anyway, it's raining as well, and this dream itself is kind of depressing, almost as if while the voice is narrating certain things to me, despite of my lack of ability to recall the exact words, my emotions were mixed with feeling slightly sad for something, but also being comforted with something else.

_________________________

06.08.2013

Missed The School Bus, Elementary School, & Female Police Officer Flirts With Me (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I did a few more sessions with the mental exercises that helps with being more proficient and aware of tapping into the unconscious mind by letting it do the job for you with the mental imagery, and all I have to do is just describe what's going on. Slept late last night, had the confidence that I'll be aware of my dreams, knowing how my unconscious mind will make those connections to enable me to have a lucid dream, and I managed to get a decent lucid, despite of its randomness of someone flirting with me and all sorts of stuff.

I freaking love these exercises, makes visualization, imagining, and other things so much freaking easier to do now. I used to think I didn't have to put in much effort into dream recall, but now, that was clearly an understatement. Anyway, let's move on to the lucid dream shall we?

Alright, so I'm in an environment that looks really familiar to a previous neighborhood I resided in waking life during my Junior year in High School. The setting is early morning, and things obviously feel more dream like that it's just blatantly obvious that I'm dreaming.

As soon as I feel the rush of emotions and sensations common in the dreaming world compared to waking life, it doesn't become a challenge for me to know whether or not I'm lucid dreaming.

I noticed that there's a school bus I have to follow to class, I don't know why, but I just presume it has to be the one I needed to take. The reason being is that I'm feeling sensations and emotions of being rushed, out of choices, and not knowing how to go about finding other routes to get to whatever destination the bus was going to take me. The consistency of the dreaming environment was dependent on my ability to calm down, so if I was panicking for too long, the dream just feels messed up.

However, it's not like I was going to have an unstable dream to the point where I would wake up, no, been through that already and know how to plant myself into this dream. Emotions and adrenaline do not matter anymore, just don't pay attention to how they can wake you up, and you can enjoy them as much as you can. So as I'm wondering where in the bloody hell to go now that what seems to be my only ride to whatever location I had in mind passed by too quickly.

I even tried lurking around to check to see if the bus will make a turn-around somewhere, since it had to have more than one route to pick up the dream characters. But it just happens that the route that I'm in is the last one, but at least I gained competence in a dream for once to look for alternatives. Now it seems things are hopeless for me, and although I knew I could just do whatever I wanted to, I decided to just let this dream happen and watch while being able to go back and forth in spectator mode, third person mode, and first person mode.

It's hard to describe, it's as if I'm shifting through three states of consciousness or perspectives I should say all at once. It's not even 360 vision, it's just sublimating my awareness in 3 perspectives at once, it's a really funny feeling, but it's really comforting being able to do that, especially when it would enable me to keep track of anything suspicious going on. I noticed that I'm wearing a long black jacket and a dark blue polo shirt and black dress pants. I believe I'm wearing lace-less shoes, but because I'm not focusing much attention to my outfit, and rather on what to do next, it's merely conjecture for my dream body description.

I turn around and I quickly noticed a dream character that looks very familiar, and it doesn't take me very long to deduce that this was a dreaming counterpart of a person in waking life that I'll just nickname "K." He had the mannerisms, body posture, and annoying attitude of the real one. He's wearing a black and white striped dress shirt that's buttoned and spread out. Even though I'm looking at his back, it's clear to identify that he's wearing a white t-shirt. Now for the pants, the thoughts coming into me now say he's wearing white baggy jeans.

The epitome of a wanna-be gangster who doesn't know how to pull up his pants and is either too indolent or incompetent to know how to use a belt. Of course, this doesn't bother me one bit in the dream, and I noticed that he's looking left and right, and I make sure that I don't attract any attention to him.

It's weird, although I knew he couldn't possibly hurt me, since I'm going with the classic predisposition that this is a lucid dream obviously, but I still needed him. The reason being is because he's the closest thing to being a student or someone looking for a bus as well. And because I wanted to know why I had intentions of going inside of the School Bus, he was my only option for the time being.

So I make sure I keep a trail off of him at least 30 feet away from him or so, and he's slowly walking. Then he picks up the pace, and before he starts going a bit faster with power-walking, I noticed my vision is now focused on his trail and where he's going. Which means there's an augmented tunnel vision in my perception of the reality in this dream, and everything else outside that scope is considered blind, insignificant, and a waste of time to recall to the best of my abilities.

I had a mix of emotions when following this guy, and they weren't really that positive at all. I had the urge to just slam this guy to the ground and destroy him completely, but again, can't do that since he's still a valuable dream character. And as I'm picking up my pace, I noticed he takes a sharp turn to the left side, and I quickly avert my eyes to the right to pretend that I'm not trying to follow him.

He doesn't really seem to have much competency level in terms of being sentient and sapient of my presence, and this tempts me to just shrug him off completely once I figured out that the path he's going towards is to a school. I walk past him, but then find myself slowing a bit just to see where this dream character is going to go. Instead of just ignoring him and him fading out of existence because of my lack of interest in being aware of him and the other DCs, I decided to just let his existence hang just a bit longer.

I noticed that the psychological tendencies I had towards this guy, especially in waking life, were now shut down completely. He's not the type of person I knew "K" was, a very loud-mouth individual that was cross-eyed and didn't see to have much going for his life. He's countenance is completely different, despite of his dark-skinned complexion still being difficult to conceptualize to full detail. He seems to be expressing a kind demeanor, especially towards younger children, and I just let go on auto-pilot in terms of walking as I shift to the completely different "K" individual.

There's a little boy he's walking with, and he looks familiar as well, all too familiar, and this boy is wearing a shirt that consists of dark warm colors (mostly orange, maroon, and such). He's wearing sports shorts, but I can't make out the actual color because as I'm walking in auto-pilot, I noticed that I'm picking up the pace a bit more because I'm having less interest in this twisted up version of "K" of a dream character.

I finally avert my eyes to the environment surrounding me now, and the tunnel vision has disappeared completely, and you could say that I'm just going through 360 vision now. There's no need to go through the sublimation of 3 perspectives seeing how this is a school environment, which means there isn't really going to be much of a threat, seeing how I'm never encountering physical threads in school dreams.

So as I'm easing myself into this third-person 360 vision, I begin to notice that I'm already shifting myself into the building. And here's where the environment starts becoming inconsistent, but just for a little bit. Now, imagine for a moment for where I'm standing right now in the dream, imagine seeing the back of a person at a slightly tilted angle to where their face is slightly further away from your perspective, but only by a a few degrees.

Now, as I'm absorbing the content of the dream environment here in order to make presumptions of where to go next, something feels very peculiar about this dreaming environment. Typical. Anyway, allow me to describe the environment during this moment. The overall colors that pop up are brown, dark yellow, green, and maybe a faded and dirty milky violet color here and there. These colors mostly show up on the tile flooring below me.

The stairs that I'm on top on, which probably has 3-6 steps, has the dirty milky violet color along with the walls as well. It almost felt that the colors themselves made this dream more like a a puzzle, kind of like this image below (I'm really freaking shocked on how that association just came up on a fly, whatever, not complaining! Whatever helps me get to the point right?)

Just imagine that some of the walls are patches of brown and dark-gold with those few walls that are also the dirty milky violet color as well.

I apologize for my horrible description of colors as well. Please bear with me.

And one interesting thing shows up after I analyzed the dreaming environment. There's a vault, a fairly huge one, I'd say about 8 feet wide and 9 feet tall. But here's the thing, because the vault crank, or whatever you call it is small from my point of view, but it still felt like it would be bigger when I get closer to it (just imagine the huge vault cranks you see in those movies where there's bound to be a bank robbery or something).

So I noticed my perception in this dream is a little bit skewed, it feels like things aren't really following along pretty well. However, this doesn't stop me from exploring what seems like constant and altering chamber that resembles a prison and elementary school at the same time. The Vault crank itself has a fairly large black dot in the middle, and it now looks like a Huge Gear trying to protect something I believe.

I don't touch it of course, instead, I just go about lurking in random areas in this confusing dreaming environment. I begin to notice that as I'm going through these doors, it feels like randomly generated scenarios with dream characters and such. Kind of like what you would see in movies where the person is in an area with what is presumed to be an infinite amount of doors, and they stumble upon the most abnormal and peculiar of things.

Except it's a little less scary fortunately, just randomly generated child dreaming characters, teachers, and other school staff members. I remember one door where there was just a black void and that same kid I was imagining before that hanged around with the "K" guy. He seems to be looking at the teacher, and the teacher is a female that looks very familiar.

Kind of like my Reading teacher that I believe I had for 6th grade in middle school. I noticed that her hairstyle is still a bit poofy and proper, and she's just looking down on the child while having her face and neck turned awkwardly.

Anyway, I close the door for whatever reason, even though I doubted myself on what I would be doing here in this dream with stairs being inverted, twisted and stuck on places where they shouldn't be. The abnormality itself is what keeps my lucidity sustained I guess. I find myself noticing how I'm raising one of my eyebrows speculating what to do next.

Then after what seemed so long, boring, and dragged out event, I'm just going to skip to the final part now. I find myself getting near an exit, actually being able to see what's outside for once. As I'm preparing to go for the exit, the tile checkered floor here is different than the one before. It consists of a faded vanilla and black colors, and the moment I find my shoes making contact with the floor, it delivers the type of echo as if I were in a large and spacious region in a building.

The area itself was too hard to make out because it was a little dark on the corners, despite of the fact that there's a strong lighting outside and the sunlight is still able to leak in some rays as well. I continue heading to the exit, and there's a metal bar that I would have to pass through, kind of like the rotating bars you would see if you were to come to a supermarket .

Except this time, I wasn't able to get past these bars, and as I'm trying to move back and forth to see if they're sensor-activated, there's a random female dream character in front of me that informs me I can't pass. I was a bit puzzled on why she would tell me this, and I decided to turn back and realized there's a female police officer, or some security guard up front.

I immediately go up to her and she informs me that I just have to show my I.D. or something, and I just pull up a random card out of my pocket, and she takes it real quick and looks as if she's busy typing information. As she's going about doing whatever, she tells me I'm handsome.

I said, "Thank you." in a silent voice, but it didn't seem she was hearing me well, so I said it a bit louder. I wanted to just remain silent, but I just had to pretend to be social with her since she's my only way out. She has very short hair, as if she was bald a few weeks before, and she's fairly cheeky and has a dark complexion. Her outfit is mostly dark blue, and she seems to be the cheerful type of guard, but of course, I can't really revel in her kindness for too long.

After that, I don't know what the heck went on from that point sadly, seeing how I had all sorts of dreams in the middle most likely.

_________________________

06.08.2013

Military Base Stuff (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

All I remember for this one is that Eva's face is zoomed in, and it seems we're just going around inside a military base. The main colors are very light gray.

Yeah, that's all I remember for that.