lucid

11-22
Note: Went to bed about 11pm or so.

Dream: Long one first. I was on some kind of job-related trip, which would last for (exactly) 21 hours. It was a serious task, perhaps a manhunt? I'm accompanied by others. There's a scene where I'm in an office late, and a sense of urgency throughout. The most iconic image from the dream is me getting in a taxi. The lighting reminds me of the final episode of The Bodyguard which F was watching on Netflix two nights ago.

Dream: There are two John Stamoses, each holding grey yorkies, in a kitchen I don't recognize (could have been from a medication commercial on TV; strange because I don't have TV, local or cable, nowadays). They're reading lines against each other. One of them looks like an impersonator, like a John Stamos-Nick Offerman lovechild.

Fragment: Third-person. A man is in love with his teacher who keeps "marrying Italian men". Most iconic image (will just call these MII's from now on): city street sidewalk, bright daylight.

WBTB: F got up for work at 5:30, I unfortunately awoke around 4:50 and figured there was no point going back to sleep until after she left since she comes in to say goodbye around 6:10. Also felt really lazy and didn't want to walk my dog though. Ended up having to get up to kill a roach (was afraid that would impact my remaining dreams at first, but I gave him a loving look as I flushed him down the toilet so as to emphasize to my subconscious that I don't have a deep sense of fear or disgust towards him and he shouldn't show up in my dreams; was actually a very empathetic moment for me, considering my deep-seated sense of fear and disgust for those bastards). Finally went back to bed, probably around 6-6:30.

Dream (WILD): I remembered as I was falling asleep that I've been wanting to do "WILD Wednesdays" and I missed my mark yesterday, so I reminded myself to do so. I also read an interesting article about AILD (reddit) (similar to self-help affirmations, but the main difference is phrasing your "afformation" in the form of "Why do I have 10-minute lucid dreams?" and letting your mind mull it over and find possibilities, instead of repeating "I have 10-minute lucid dreams" over and over with all the evidence pointing to the contrary). I did it a few times in the evening and a few times before bed.
I fell asleep with my arms in weird positions, so I had a few cycles of popping in and out of a dreams due to struggling against my inability to move and immediately waking up. I finally popped into a dream where I was in a black void and was struggling with this arm movement again, but I managed to wait long enough to let the dream materialize, and my arms started cooperating. My sense of the area came first and my vision came second. I floated down in slow motion towards a tub of water with a golden tile rim and red/blue/cream tiles on the sides and bottom. I landed and then was able to pick myself up from the pool.
I stepped out and surveyed the room; the tub was in the west corner, flush against the north, west, and south walls, meaning the room was only as wide as the tub. There was some sort of pump equipment on the south wall but I didn't examine it closely. There were some doors along the north and south walls as well, I remember reading a black and white sign on the north wall. There may have been a large green pipe with a patina against the north wall as well.
There were open reddish double doors to the east about 20-30 feet away from the tub. I went through them towards a door (the tiles on the floor and walls were all creamish colored by the way), I got the strange feeling this was a subway station. I approached the door, which had another black and white sign on it, and awoke abruptly.

Dream (DILD): I became lucid almost instantly after entering this dream scene. I found myself on a cement ramp between two tall redbrick buildings. The space was about 10-20 feet wide, split into two sections lengthwise by a black handrail, one surface being flat and the other being a ramp that rose from where I was up to the level of the flat side (the ramp side was on the right from my position). After the ramp ended, there was a continuation of the path between the buildings, which was covered with brick archways every 40 feet or so. I got the feeling it was a university, or city square.
As I was walking up the ramp, an old classmate I didn't know well (G) was walking in my direction. When I become lucid, sometimes DCs become hostile and approach me, facing me directly with an angry but somehow blank face. This happened in this case, but remembering how to deal with these, I embraced G. We talked for a second (don't remember exact dialogue) and I brought him to a corner where I transformed him into F. After she was there we talked for a second and I awoke.

Dream (DILD): I was in an unfamiliar classroom of young children, only many of them had faces resembling LOZ:Wind Waker characters (exaggerated nose represented by a pinkish ovoid shape). This was really strange to see on otherwise real children. Some of them also looked like skin-colored pikmin (instead of being green or red) with schoolclothes on. I walked out into the hallway and recognized the main kid from Stranger Things (with short hair). A male teacher was passing kidney stones in the hallway, only they were coming out as large diamond-shaped rocks/pebbles. Lots of screaming. I was only semi-lucid so I accepted the situation pretty much completely.

Note: Another brief waking for 5-10 minutes. Didn't note time.

Dream (WILD): This was the coolest WILD I've had yet, not for the content of the dream itself, but for the induction. I had woken from the past dream and been awake for only 5-10 minutes, and before I knew it I popped from 100% wakefulness to 100% sleep-awareness and lucidity. I found myself in a warmly lit cozy bedroom. The walls were woodpanneled or perhaps painted/wallpapered red. The bed was probably a queen or full, and was covered in an ornate crimson and gold comforter. The room was somewhat cluttered with bookshelves and stuff on the floor, and there were nightstands with antique lamps on either side of the bed. I walked to the door and something prevented me from opening it; fear? Instead I decided to push myself through a a mirror hanging on the wall. There was no resistance, I went straight through to another room in the house (memory of the other rooms is fuzzy now). I did this probably 3 or 4 times. I believe one of them was a bathroom, another a hallway, but the details are gone. Finally awoke.

Dream: Extremely long NL aboard a train. MII: Crawling through a kitchen section of the train which had open sections between cars; this was a combination kitchen-bar area, and above me was a plastic/rubber wine glass rack with holes for the base/stems to go in and be hung. Second-most iconic image: sitting in a large lobby area and conversing with victorian-era women and men. The whole dream had a faint blue light to it, like the RDJ Sherlock Holmes movies (that vibe). Wish I remembered more details, it was very in-depth.

Dream: Quick FA where I was looking out of the blinds next to my WL bed and it was bright blue outside. Heard F talking to me in a semi-demonic voice and awoke.

I have been recognizing the dream state a bit easier than usual. My dream self kinda randomly tells myself that this is a dream and it feels like a dream.
Tonight this same thing happened 👍
Notes: I have been popping B6 vitamins these last couple of days. Meditating every day. During the day I'm focusing of the feeling of the awake world, so I would be able to distinguish it from the dream world.
This night I was beat from work, so I fell asleep just wanting to sleep. So no mantras no intension no nothing. However i still got lucid 💪

Dream: the dream was decently long. The way I got lucid was decently interesting. The dreams villain, a Dracula looking guy, went around killing a bunch of people on the city I was in. I randomly bumped into the guy, but knew he couldn't hurt me since this was just a dream. I got lucid. The Dracula guy slashed his knife at me.i stepped back a couple of steps, and put my hand on his shoulder, and told him to leave me alone, and go do his thing some other place. He looked confused, but took my advice and turned around and walked away. I noticed that the gravity was a bit more like normal gravity. I tried flying, but it was more like floating. While in the air, I tried shooting webs. It worked and swung to the nearest building. I wanted to test, yet again, if I was able to do my finger strength training. I did a couple of hangs on the building edge. I started feeling the pump, and then stopped. NICE!!! I might be able to work with this!!
The building I was hanging from, didn't have a roof.itwas more like a scouting tower than an actual building. I noticed there being a bunch of text on the walls of this tower. Can't remember the text but it said something about a children's shooting that had happened in the city. The tower was loaded with sooo many firearms. Suddenly I heard some of the citizens yell at me, that I was the shooter from back then, and that I was naked? I looked at my body, and sure enough, I was naked..... The dream characters started chasing me down. I swing away from the tower, towards some trees and a beach. While mid swing, a Spiderman like character surprised me from behind. I dodged his attack and shot my webs at him and kinda whipped him / slammed him into the ground. While escaping I lost lucidity and woke up.

Yet again me getting to emersed in the dream content and waking up. When will I learn???

11-21
Frag: Woman in a long-sleeve yellow sweater, and another one in gray, standing next to each other.

Frag: Woman whose child is/is infected with a parasite. Quote something like "You would do it if it was your kid too".

Dream: In 9 kitchen, realize very quickly that I'm dreaming, finger through palm, "I'm dreaming". Walk out from behind kitchen counter and head out the back sliding glass door. On the way, grab a piece of toast remembering to try and taste things at every opportunity; it tasted good! Not too crunchy, not too soft.
It's daytime outside, and the only DC is my family's dog. I look around quickly and things are starting to lose visual stability. I fingerpalm and repeat "I'm dreaming" and things start to clear up. My family dog reminds me that I wanted to summon my own dog, so I do the turn around and expect method, as well as calling his name. It works! I pet him and he looks pretty much 100% accurate unlike I and other humans sometimes do (i.e. in mirrors).
I look around at the sky again and this enhances its visual clarity. I can see the moon up there, and a few clouds although it's mostly clear. While I was looking up, the yard and house below changed into a large field like the golf course behind my house.
I was near a tree so I decided to fly up. The process of flying itself actually stabilized the dream as I felt the sensation of wind in my hair and across my skin. I flew up, spinning lightly for fun (not rapidly so as to avoid changing scenes) until I was above all of the trees. I noticed an object that looked like pile, with a twig or branch and some other stuff, but was very low in detail, as were the trees now; their shapes were very basic geometrically as if I had gone too far away and their LOD was set to low, and when I approached them again, this didn't change back to high detail (for the trees). The stick was there and I picked it up and discarded it. I also saw a notable number of pieces of paper with writing on them, only one at first, but as I hovered around the tree, I saw three or four more. At first I had some kind of instinctive feeling that they were "real" and that their text wouldn't change, and actually believed and expected that, but ultimately each of them did. One of them looked like a movie ticket, another a restaurant receipt, and another maybe a government postcard (like voter registration).
After a bit up here I floated back to the ground and thought about who to summon. I picked up an advertisement postcard with a photo that reminded me of someone. I was going to try and summon them but while I was thinking I accidentally closed my dream eyes, and when I opened them again I was awake. Bummer.

Dream: Practicing with gun in yellow-lit hallway/range with unknown DC man. We each have both an M16 and a handgun. I'm playing with the sights (for some reason there's a telescoping sight? hard to explain). I feel a strong surge of hate/frustration/resentment towards the man for some reason. As he puts down the M16 and is drawing his handgun, I put down my handgun and grab the M16. We both start shooting at each other, but no sound or bullet wounds or feeling is accompanied, just our angry faces and the guns moving as if they're firing. I get frustrated that the gun won't shoot and am pressing the muzzle of the gun up against his face and deforming his face. This sight reminds me of something else and I wake up.

Dream: FA where I'm in bed. I feel intense vibrations and want to try and DEILD. I realize it's a dream quickly but don't do anything about it, and sort of DEILD into another FA. In this new FA, the TV is on and I think The Price Is Right or another game show is on. I pay attention to the feeling but ultimately don't do anything. F's voice starts to come from the next room and I wake up. Interesting lucid, just focusing on the sensations rather than doing crazy stuff the whole time.

Notes: Overall the first lucid lasted somewhere between 1-3 minutes I would say and was really enjoyable. Also, I hadn't really been practicing any day or night work, but have just been writing down dreams. I just woke up coincidentally early today (F got up to go to work) and I decided to tell myself 2-3 times "I will become lucid in my next dream". Very low-effort lucid!

Edit: Added second fragment.

Was talking to a woman telling me that if I bought a stuff animal I would become possessed by it. I then become lucid and tell her I won't and she tells me a lot of bad things will happen to me then. I started telling her look at all the things I can do right now. I levitated a few objects and showed her that everything around us can be manipulated. She seemed to have froze in shock. The dream scenario changes to my room and I lose lucidity

I got lucid tonight, using my new induction technique!!!
Last time I got lucid, I kinda joltet my self into a false awakening. It worked last time, but I couldn't remember the dream before I got lucid. Well tonight I do!! I went to sleep with the intention of recognizing the feeling I have BEFORE I wake up, and then force a false awakening.

I had a dream where I was fighting with my wife. I ended up going to sleep. The dream started at a party (goth themed apparently..) after the party on my way home, I was walking through a random neighborhood. I remembered I had to be ready for the waking up feeling, since this was a dream. I recognized the dream feeling and BAM, I got lucid. I Raced for good measure, and sure enough I was in a dream. I wanted to do something weird, Soni tried spewing fire. I couldn't do it.... Ohh well. I remembered I wanted to try some physical training in my dreams. So I tried doing fibgerstrenght training (for rock climbing). The gravity was not normal, so I couldn't even hang from my fingertips.... Well I tried. I tried jumping, shooting webs and running. Everything was super hard, since the gravity weird.. I woke up after, what seemed like a couple of minutes.

My intensions ledr to me actually becoming lucid. So my induction technique kinda worked? Buuuuttttt.... I'm back to working with the gravity and basic dream control shit.... I'll get the....

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Looking to attend my guru's teachings. Not sure if I will see him, because I just dropped by and was not invited, so I decide to explore the place a little bit and see if I encounter him by chance. I risk going through an area I am not supposed to enter. I come across a few monks and lamas on a hallway and before they see me, I go down a flight of stairs that lead me to a sort of chamber where some people are seated waiting for an audience with my teacher. Nobody sees me as I hide under a table covered in a cloth. At the opposite side of this room there is an opening to outside and I spot my teacher arriving with a group of people. I am watching through a gap in the cloth and I notice that although he is talking with the people on his group, his eyes are looking in my direction and I know that he knows that I am hiding there. I feel there is no need to keep hiding, so I come out and join the other people in sitting on the floor in front of a low wooden stage. My teacher comes to talk to people but he chooses to sit on directly on the floor of the stage, right in front of me. Since his eyes locked with mine, he hasn't let go and I feel as if he is inside me. I feel dizzier as he comes closer, so close I stop feeling there's a separation between us. I become sort of lucid, not exactly, it is more like a small enlightenment. I feel so light that a breeze pushes me through the ground and slowly it elevates me in the air, seated in half-lotus position. I just go with the wind, I cross walls and tree trunks and rise up in the air. I rise and rise until I am in outer space, surrounded by darkness with the dim lights of the stars shining far away. Then I go across the fabric of the universe itself, until all shapes and forms start to disappear one by one. All of my memories fade like 2D pictures dissolving in a black background. I let go all of them. But then I panic. I don't want to lose my teacher's memory. I hold on to his memory. And as I do it, a faint vision of a table and a chair become stronger in front of me and I grab the chair and sit, to stabilize this reference. I grab the table and try to recall familiar things. Then from the table, embedded in it, a dark male figure rises, kinda demonic, but I feel it is also the help I need to go back. He wants to know what I want. I state clearly that I have to go back to my teacher, no matter the time or place, just meeting him again.
He says no way, that's gone, now I am stuck here forever in this limbo. But I insist on coming back to my teacher. I recall the time I last saw him, but any other time and space will do. He gets mad and disappears. Around me a scenario of an office starts to take shape. I get up and walk around until I find a couple ladies at a booth, like a ticket booth at a train station and they ask me my destination. They ask date and exact hour. I don't know. I feel a bit confused. They yell there is no time for hesitations. Only a few seconds for the time to be set. I could see in a screen random numbers starting to form a date and I shout my actual birth date and as I am saying the hours, I am already feeling a pull and I am thrown back on planet earth. As I approach I see the clouds, rocks, majestic ocean waves, buildings and people and I feel an intense happiness that I will be meeting my teacher again.

Morning of November 19, 2018. Monday.

Dream #: 18,963-04 and # 18,963-05. Reading time: 42 sec. Readability score: 52.



Having fallen asleep briefly while sitting on our couch, there is the usual natural melatonin trope of the illusory sound of splashing water. Someone unknown had thrown a hardcover book, and it breaks the surface of a pond. This autosymbolic event is a lifelong recurring process that encodes my liminal acknowledgment that the wakefulness required for the reading of a book is usually no longer present when sleeping.

Later, while lying in our bed, an additional melatonin trope is present, this time as an upside-down surface of a water body about three feet above me (atypical). A whirlpool (vestibular nexus) forms. At the same time, I hear the sound of a helicopter rotor, though it is very soft and pleasant. It is as if a whirlpool and a helicopter rotor (without the helicopter present in this case) are the same. A hummingbird flies down from out of the “whirlpool” and cheerfully says “hi” in a young feminine voice (water nymph as shapeshifter) but as if the formant is a band higher. I am very amused by this brief encounter.

---

Ok.... So it's been a week or two since I wrote my last lucid dream on here. Since then I have been focusing on dream awareness, recall and vividness. I have been keeping a physical dream journal where I write notes about my dreams. And ONLY notes. Maybe only 2 sentences per dream. However I think my dreams through in detail after each dream. My dreams have gotten more vivid these last couple of weeks, so that's a good thing, since I think vividness will lead to better awareness, which then will lead to one self easier recognizing the dream state.
On to the dreams!!! And by the way, I'm not gonna write then content of the dreams, only the details on how I got lucid and stabilized and so on.

Well first dream was weird. I was watching something on my I pad in bed. I got emmersed in the content of the thing I was watching, and suddenly the content of the film was my reality. I couldn't feel the body I was just in. This weird feeling made me reality check, and I got lucid. I don't know how I reality checked, since I didn't have a body... Well I got lucid, and tried to control one of the characters in the movie I was watching. THE INSTANT a thought popped into my mind, the male character in the dream acted out the thought. Weird feeling, but I kept going. I got too emersed in the dream content and lost lucidity.... The second I lost lucidity I woke up...
Interesting dream. I have never never NOT had a body while still being lucid. Well I need figure out how to stay in the dream and keep lucidity. In the past I kinda madenit a habit to just flow with the dream, however now it seems I lose lucidity when doing so, because I tend to get too emersed in the dream content. I went back to sleep with the intention of forcing a false awakening when I feel like I'm about to wake up. This has, in the past, helped me stay in the dream instead of waking up.


Next dream!!!
I can't remember the dream it self, however I remember the feeling of being just about to wake up. The second I felt that feeling, I forced a false awakening!!! (The way I do this is as following. Just before waking up from the dream, I tend to get one certain feeling. It kinda feels like I'm in the dream world, but I can vaguely feel my real body in my bed. Normally this indicates that the dream in unstable, and I'm about to wake up. In the past I have ALWAYS woken up after this feeling, so I wanted to figure out a solution to this. I came up with forcing a FA!! And for me, it works wonders!! When getting the feeling of waking up , I instantly sit up in my bed. I see it like forcing my self to instantly wake up. This night I kinda joltet myself awake) I woke up in my bed. RCed, and as always I was still in a dream!!! Success!!!!! The content of the dream is irrelevant. But they say I woke up was not. Yet again I got too emersed in the dream content, and lost lucidity and instantly woke up.

SUCCESS!!!! The most important thing for me was that I got my old technique of forcing an FA to work!!!! I'll keep working on that technique and I'll keep notes of how I'm doing.

Notes.
The lucid dreams where in the timeframe 04:00-07:00.
I drank applecider a couple hours before going to sleep.

Tuesday 11/21/17
I was at some Mall walking around. There was a long line of people waiting for something. It seems to be the train station. I became a little lucid. I decided to go on the train. I decided I didn't want to wait in the line and tried to get through the gate just by trying to go through the gate. It worked, I passed through the chain-link fencing like a ghost would! I was waiting for the train but there was almost no one on the platform with me. It seems the people who were waiting for the train in line we're just waiting in line, they were just dreaming of waiting in line. This is typical of dreaming areas.
I got on the train and took a seat and the train started to go through a place a lot like Brooklyn.

I looked out of the window and saw apartment buildings and backyards and street at one point I started to see red flowers in a tree. It was amazing to me that all of this could both exist outside physical reality and be looking so amazing!
As I looked out at the flowers in peoples backyards I thought, where is the blue, and I started to see blue flowers in the trees. I next saw these huge blue flowers is that looked at least is big as a man's head! I couldn't figure out what kind of flower they could possibly be, they looked a lot like morning Glory but they were tremendous in size! I knew it was a dream and was amazed by the fact that this looks so much like physical reality. I was also happy to take this little vacation outside of physical reality and life. Then thinking about physical life I woke up.

I never rode this train but at least I rode it while sleeping!

Date of Dream: SAT 17 NOV - 2018



Dream No. 485 - Separated Sections

Dream 485 A - Groundhog Graduation
I don’t remember how the dream started. From where I do remember, it was year twelve event again. It was the last day of school and so the year level were going to be having their graduation celebrations. The morning was spent in the library and while everyone had to read sort sort of long script and remember the entirety of it. I was given a book by SD'M and it had suggestions of cool stuff to do and hobbies to get up to over the Christmas Holidays… I think I got the better end of the deal. At the end of the session, Ms L told everyone that they would only have a 10 minute break and had to be back in the library on time.

During the break, I went into to one of the classrooms to attempt to say farewell to a few of the teachers. Ms Ta. noticed me and started yelling at me. I then pointed to the back of the room and said “What about everyone else that came in?! You’re not getting angry at them!”. She then answered, “I know but you just barged in through the door without knocking and you’ve been running around everywhere in here”… I clearly don’t remember any fast-paced movement.

I then went to the toilets and I found myself mistakenly to be in the men’s toilets. I tried to get out as quick as possible but just I was outside the doorway, I was really badly verbally bullied by a large group of boys and some girls. Within the group was an old granny that started yelling at everyone in defence. The granny and I actually got along with each other and spoke well.

Then dream then went back into the library and now the year level of girls was doing further celebration preparation. Everyone was seated at the main side of the library in a big circle and the guest speaker was CW, supported by her mum RW. CW was telling us what her graduation celebrations were like a few years ago. That’s all I can remember for this dream.

Dream 485 B - Mulgrave's Special Gust (Lucid Dream 29)
In the first scene, I was on the oval which was next to the local primary school, just on the other side of the linking footpath. It seemed to be dusk when this scene was playing. I was coaching 18-Volt’s fourth grade teacher on how to provide effective and meaningful discipline to her students. She wasn’t physically in the scene though, rather I seemed to be shouting to the sky, also figuring that she could see any movement I did on the oval.

I seemed to act somewhat like Jo Frost in this scene. I also spoke a lot but I have forgotten everything I said, I’ll recap what I can. The first thing I told this teacher was that a 15 minute timeout was the most ideal length. I then said, “If the timeout is too short and the student doesn’t have enough time to think, then how on Earth does the student know what they did wrong?”. I also stated to the teacher that she needed to tell the student what they did wrong.

The next bit reminds me of a combination of the Supernanny naughty corner and stay in bed technique. I said to her, “For the first time the student exits timeout, say to them, you’re in timeout, the second time, say to them, timeout, and when you take them back the third time, you say nothing”. The next I said was “And whatever you do, don’t make them stay back after school for one and a half hours just to waste their time, that’s the worst thing you could do”.

After that, I now saw a very feint hologram of all the school students floating around the oval (in-fact you almost couldn’t see them at all). After looking at them for a while, I yelled out “Now if I can demonstrate on one of your students, anyone…?”, hoping that someone would voluntarily come to me. Indeed, a hologram of 18-Volt came up to me in his Game and Wario cover art appearance and he was slightly more visible then everyone else although he was still fairly feint. I then spoke to him as if I was placing him into timeout but he kept a straight face as he knew I was only demonstrating. This marked the end of the first scene.

For the second scene, I was still in the local area but was lower down, closer to the shopping centre, walking up the footpath beside the main road. I was constantly think about 18-Volt and I said to myself “Herr, I wanna see if I can become lucid in this dream”. My eyes were now darting everywhere as I headed up the street, trying to read every single piece of writing I came across. Eventually, a bus came up the road and I was reading the advertisements on the back of it… This text is what made me become lucid. I then decided I wanted to do another reality check to confirm my lucidity and it was confirmed when I read another piece of text, I forgot what the text was though.

I was then at my house, in the front room with a roll of laminated paper. At the end of the roll was a picture of 18-Volt as he would appear in WarioWare Gold. I got onto the floor, lay down next to the roll and cuddled with it. My mum then walked in and giving me a strange look while she points to the roll, asks me “who’s that?”. For a moment I felt like panicking but I immediately sat myself up, pointed to his picture on the roll and said “That’s my dream guide, 18-Volt, would you like to meet him?”. My mum was actually alright in this dream and she said yes. She then went to sit on the couch while waiting for me to get him.

I went to stand just outside the front room and then I seemed to call for 18-Volt very quietly. At some points, I almost couldn’t hear myself and so I called slightly louder. It worked this time, as I was looking across the whole main part of the house, I saw 18-Volt emerging from my bedroom. He was of the same appearance as on the roll of laminated paper. Compared to the real life game, he was slightly darker, including the tone of green on his clothing, his teeth were more gritted than they were in-game and he had more of a frown as his natural disposition.

His graphics were the same as in-game though, completely cartoony… Although he looked real enough to my lucid awareness. Once again, I actually found the fact scary that he was slowly coming towards me, avoiding all the furniture in his path as if he actually knew the route of the house. I stood there paralysed, feeling nervous but at the same time excited, my heart racing as I thought, “I can’t believe this is actually happening”. I managed to ease up when he was right in front of me though. As 18-Volt stood in-front of me, he spread his arms out and when I got right up to him, he gave me a ginormous hug. He also now had a more accurate facial expression, precisely matching all facial features and their positions in WarioWare Gold, he wasn’t frowning as much.

Once he released me, I followed behind him into the front room. He then walked over to my mum on the couch and bent down to shake her hand. My mum was on the left side of the couch and 18-Volt seated himself right side of it, closest to the door. I then came and sat in-between them, feeling really happy and at peace that my mum was actually getting along with a dream guide this time. After a while of enjoying both my mum’s and 18-Volt’s company, my mum said “I’ll leave you two to it” as she then got up and left.

I then thought about what I wanted to do while I had 18-Volt and so got up off the couch. He then got up off the couch as well and followed me back out the door and into the dining room. At first, I thought I would ask him to help me with elevator exposure again but then I said, “There actually aren’t any elevators in the house...”, so then I asked him to help me with the bathroom fan. As we walked over, we held each other in a hugging position, moving our legs in a certain sequence so we wouldn’t trip over.

I ended up opening the door to the toilet room, with 18-Volt standing and watching in the background as I flicked one of the switches. It was extremely loud and the wrong sound, so I took no hesitation in switching it off again immediately. After summoning multiple switches and none doing the right thing, being too loud or too quiet, 18-Volt came up to me and told me to try the bathroom instead. He then said he was going to leave me to fiddle around in there for a while and then he completely walked off.

It felt like almost half an hour when 18-Volt came back and he asked me how I went with whatever I was doing before. I told him and described what had happened. We kept having a friendly chat for a while, then he gave me a quick pat on the back. He then went a step further and gave me another hug. As 18-Volt was gently embracing me, I proceeded to wake up, being satisfied with the outcome of this dream.



Dream 485 A
Dream Guide: None
Lucid?: No

Dream 485 B
Dream Guide: 18-Volt
Lucid?: Yes

11-15
Dream: F and I are somewhere, she's acting very strange -- she was told that she's going to die? We go to a circular hole in the ground that goes deep down and has catacomb-like levels in its sides. In the top layers, I can see birds. There was a lot more to this dream but it's gone now.
(...) I didn't write anything down for a few hours so I lost most of my dreams, initially I thought I remembered 2 other lucids/semi-lucids. It's a shame what a couple of hours can do to your dream recall.
Dream: HS friend R and I are in house, become lucid, go upstairs and look at his computer in his bedroom, wake up.

Notes: Attempted WILD a few times throughout the night, I don't think any of my lucids were achieved this way though. Will keep trying to WILD at least once a week for this new "WILD Wednesdays" habit I'm trying to make.

Morning of November 14, 2018. Wednesday.

Dream #: 18,958-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min. Readability score: 58.



In a previous dream including my conscious self’s identity and to some extent in real life, I had been building a more extensive paradigm understructure for my online dream journal as a way to make it more idiot-proof, despite there being virtually no evidence that mainstream humanity has any understanding of the induction, dreaming, and waking processes. I had been focusing on “personifications of” while branching into more specific factors of vestibular system correlation, nexus simulacrums, and melatonin mediation. During this time, my dream self loses most of its present waking life identity while still holding a subliminal awareness of concurrent physicality and a minimal degree of lucid dream state awareness to where only a sliver of my conscious self’s identity remains extant; just enough to deliberately enter the role of another denizen to experiment with the dream space.

The backstory of an upcoming wedding comes to the forefront. It is a transpersonal thread adjacent to the virtual foreshore. There is the sighting of an unknown groom of about twenty-five in my incorporeal glimpse. I possess the body of a man who is about eighty years old to sustain his role in attaining a sacred stick from a secret area for the unknown young groom (who remains in another part of town), maintaining faith that any other sentient presence in the dream space will not detect me as an imposter. The interconsciousness borrows pieces of a setting that I had not lived in real life for years, making sure it is incorrect in design so that it is not mistaken for having waking life relevance or the fallacy of symbolism that the unintelligent pursue. I am at an erroneous version of the Stadcor Street house in Brisbane. This version of the house has an enclosed wooden back porch, which expands over the area that the utility room was in real life (though the utility room was at ground level). Another male, unknown, about the age of the man whose body I possess, is with me, remaining on my left (dream attention orientation, as I sleep on my left side). I do not see the house as a place of significance, and my dream self only vaguely realizes that it is an illusory model of a place I had once lived. There is little of my conscious self identity that remains extant.

We are to meet with a man who is over a hundred years old, known only as General. Another man who is about a hundred years old arrives first. The four of us briefly appraise each other. I marvel at how wrinkled their faces are. I nod to General, addressing him solely and lightly with “General.” He does not seem to suspect I am not the old man. I feel comfortable in my fictitious role. He had stepped from a back room of the house, perhaps the kitchen in assuming that this fake house was somewhat like the original. The other man had come in from outside. My dream self’s attention does not focus on the porch setting as the nexus within liminal space; that virtual bridge which I had entered thousands of times in previous dreams since early childhood. Despite “General” being a military association with the preconscious and interconsciousness simulacra, I do not anticipate dominance by their presence. We go out into the backyard. It seems to be late morning. I am holding a large irregular stick in my left hand.

We all have walking sticks, but the groom’s sacred stick is just beyond the backyard in a cluster of trees. In reality, this would have been our neighbor’s backyard, which was divided from ours by a small fence.

As I am walking, the other end of my stick, still being used with my left hand, somehow gets stuck between two small cages (the bottom of one and the top of the other). I am not sure if they contain any animals. A big cloth is covering them. It takes me a few minutes to pull it out. The man who had been with me, the first one, seems slightly annoyed and moves to help me, but the stick is already out.

Liminal awareness had established that I was sleeping on my left arm in an uncomfortable position, which became a factor of my dream’s scenario, altering its potential. My dream self absentmindedly points this out, with the stick, where my essence is, beneath the cloth (bed sheet) and asleep, my waking self “caged” within the virtual lattice of physicality.

---

Created Monday 12 November 2018

Got a DILD and some near-WILD REM Atonia states to note.

Scrap Group 1
Repeated states of REM Atonia, so noted by the sensation and sound of violent winds bearing down on me. I tried imagining the cause. This increased windpower dramatically, but otherwise did nothing else. I tried rubbing my hands, but could feel nothing of the sort. I barely nudged myself off my bed, only for an unrelated interruption to awake me.

Dream 1 - Sky-dal Wave

The visuals were a bit blurred, but clarified over time. I was riding in a van or SUV during a bright day. Several family members were there, though I couldn't distinguish either of them. Noticed we were by a local plaza, where we then turned towards one of the nearby condo complexes. Suddenly, I was shunted to the front seat, facing back. While figuring out what was going on, I began imagining random things. Seeing images of such floating ahead of me finally convinced me of the dream.

I climbed out the sunroof, then launched myself skyward. As I was some nearing clouds, I remembered to conjure a tidal wave as part of the TOTMs. A single stroke was all it took to do as much, the wave rising all the way to the heavens before it dropped out of view. I continued onwards, but noticed there wasn't any noise. Voicing sound effects fixed that in time. Just for the sake of thoroughness, I decided to repeat the task. So, after swooping down towards an ocean, I called for another wave. The tides violently took such a form, if smaller than I intended. I leaped over it, only to find a truly colossal wave was charging towards me, its roars deafening. I barely corkscrewed over its crescent to safety.

Next in mind was the world-splitting task. I blasted off out of Earth's atmosphere in an instant. Unfortunately, before I had time to notice, the dream destabilized, then collapsed.

11-12
Note: These are out of order and I'm missing a few, I didn't have amazing recall last night because of my dog moving me into strange positions and almost kicking me off the bed as the night went on. Another strange thing I noticed was no mention of 9 in any of the dreams I remembered, and instead the almost constant presence of this mountaintop room.
Dream: FA in dark room, extended version of my own, but it should have been obvious it wasn't. I was thinking about dreaming and even about what I wanted to do in my lucid dreams, but I was convinced I was awake and was trying to shut my eyes. I could see through them though (I convinced myself I was seeing through my eyelashes). Really should have caught this one
Dream: Longer dream in warmly lit orangish-yellow room, with windows all around the north and east walls. At first I'm sitting with my back against the south wall, sitting at a folding table. I see Gillum, he smiles and walks away -- feels malicious. Some time later I'm over at the east wall facing the corner, in a desk which I've "moved into" -- there's some weird system of school assigned seats + work + real estate going on here. Out of the window I can see a beautiful but vague mountain view all around -- blue skies and white snowcaps. I see the two younger indians from work (who were in the walking on water dream). They say that they're moving into a desk three away from mine. One of them has a broken arm. Later, the older indian man comes and says he wants to take that desk. I inform him they want it. He seems distressed and a negotiator (played by an actor whose name I can't think of -- but he always plays the shifty salesman/negotiator in movies). He says he'll offer them 300,000, or break their legs.
Frag: A woman is driving a car in an old-fashioned holiday movie version of NY at night. I know her from a previous dream or earlier scene in this dream, but I'm a camera, not a character. She crashes into another car or people off-screen, and the camera pans to an oddly dressed doorman/paperboy/announcer standing on a grate balcony over an inviting bar with flashing lights. He makes an announcement/proclamation in a grandiose but silly way.
Dream: In Walmart, I'm waiting in a line for self-checkout, but the lines are oriented in a strange way that I've never seen in any Walmart -- they're perpendicular to how they normally would be. I'm with F, but I see a few people passing, and casually examine them. Then I see one woman who eyes me suggestively, and I make a point of looking away and talking to F. I don't know what this dream means.
Dream: I enter the warmly lit mountaintop room from before, but from a darker hallway in the southwest corner. F is at a table facing away from me. I approach her and become lucid. [Censored for DV]
Dream: I'm not sure where I was looking back at it, it's highly probable I was in the warmly lit mountaintop room. I see an attractive girl and become lucid. [Censored for DV]
Frag: Vague memory about a house?

Note: For Privacy reasons, I will leave out the dates and some of the details.

I find myself in an unusual world, it felt surreal, but I'm not a stranger to this kind of experiences. I didn't have a body. I was a floating point of consciousness. It seemed everything was made up of pieces of reflections. It's hard to explain. I ask my guide where I was and I hear her voice in my mind - "The Fractal World" and she explains it interconnects different realities. I was fully lucid all this time. I decide to go into the past and try to save Kana. I didn't focus on a time, I just wanted to be taken to a time that will ideally help me save her. One of the fractals pulsates. I go towards it and all of a sudden the world collapses and I wake up in my bed.



I was groggy. I do a reality check half-heartedly and confirm it's not a dream. I look around sleepily and was surprised to see I was in my old bedroom, the one I shared with Kana. I look to my side and she was lying there awake looking at me curiously. I become wide awake. She looked so frail. I grab the phone and look the day, it was the day she was taken to Casualty (ER)! I try all possible reality checks multiple times and none of it shows I'm dreaming. I have had time-dilated dreams that are so realistic that reality checks become unreliable.

Kana says weakly that it's not a dream. She says that when she finds me doing reality checks repeatedly. I feel her temperature and she was chillingly cold as if there was no life left in her... exactly like it was that day. I didn't care if it was a dream or not at this point. I am not going to let it happen again. I insist we go to ER right away and this time we go to another hospital. The hospital we were going didn't have our best interests. Something I didn't know back then. I had my own health problems leaving me sort of crippled, but I fought through it despite the pain.

The hospital we were going to were unprepared to treat her from day 1, so instead of letting her survive and seek treatment elsewhere, they kept making her go for tests day after day without telling us what's up. It only became clear after she passed away that they were unprepared to treat her condition. So, essentially they were milking us of any money we had until she died instead of letting us go get treated elsewhere. They even refused to admit her in a room saying they were full. It came up later that they didn't admit her because they couldn't treat her. It was easier for them to have her die outside their hospital. So, long story short, not only did they not save her, they made her suffer a lot by having her do the same expensive tests over and over. However, what actually killed her was not her condition... it was septic shock from a procedure they did without anesthesia in ICU without consulting anyone or asking for Kana's own consent. Not only it was traumatic for her to endure the pain with no sedatives, the area got infected from contaminated equipment leading to all her organs shutting down. They didn't even do resuscitation when she flatlined a day later the proedure saying there was little they could do even if they revived her. She managed to hang on for around 1 day after the procedure saying she doesn't think she's going to make it but didn't want to leave without talking to me. That night, they didn't let me stay beside her holding her hand as she wanted. They said they don't allow "visitors" after visiting hours. Next time I was called in it was to let me know she has passed away. During her last moments, we had given her tests and scans to another bigger hospital which was quite a bit farther away. They said they were well-equipped to treat her, but now it's too dangerous to move her because her body was shutting down from septic shock. They were furious why we didn't bring her there before the procedure with contaminated equipment. It was still safe to move her before they did that precedure which pretty much sealed her fate.

So, in this dream reality, I wanted to make a difference. I knew how it'll play out if we go into the same hospital. There is still a chance to save her if she doesn't get contaminated. I try to get Kana up from bed, she had no energy. She says she was too weak to go anywhere. I ask her to do it for me and she gives in. I manage to take her to the big hospital. I'll skip over the details. Few days pass. The flow of time was realistic. She was under treatment. She was in ICU for a day but got her own room when she was ready. She had some surgical procedures to treat her actual condition. The day she passed away comes and goes and she was still alive! I did reality checks every chance I got... it was still not a dream. I was happy, was I stuck in a reality where Kana survives? I was overjoyed. I go back to her room and tell her about this other reality where she doesn't make it. I give her a long hug and sit down beside her. She holds my hand tightly.

Kana: "I'm sorry..."

I look at her confused as tears fill up her eyes. The world around me distorts into fractals and I "wake up" in this reality, 3 years in the future, back in a world without Kana. I don't know what to make of it. Was it just a "dream" or did I experience a parellel reality where she survives?