lucid

Created Saturday 10 November 2018

Got a FA/WILD/DEILD loop to note, along with some scraps.

Scrap Group 1
Various false awakenings, most in unfamiliar settings. One had a little girl huddling to me, like a scared daughter running to her parents' bedroom. I had no idea what to do. Another included a room with a small window behind me, the light of early dawn peeking in.

Several brief DEILD transitions and lucid FA, each of which collapsed when I tried to move, and transitioned with one or two minutes of waking between them.

Blind DEILD transition in bed. I rub my hands. In fact, I rubbed them so vigorously, that my palms burst into flames. The conflagration spread quickly, bright orange light flickering through my eyelids. Hurt like hell, but I somehow remained calm. Even so, I woke up a minute later.

DEILD transition in bed. After some concentration, I summon my guide, E beside me. Fun ensued... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) The dream eventually collapsed. DEILD transition two minutes after.

Dream 1 - Moody Underground Run

Blind LD transition in bed. I reach beside me, and, as expected, felt that my guide was already there, if completely nude. I seized her, then pulled us both through the mattress and into the Void. With the visuals now faint, I noted the startled expression on her face. I tried imagining a more scenic view, a forest under an aurora, but that didn't seem to happen.

After seating E on my shoulders, I opted to simply run off to find such a destination. In time, an underground environment formed around me, a structure made of ruined concrete. My guide suddenly began panting heavily. Reckoned she was tired, despite me doing all the running for her. But as I looked up from the floor, I noticed rows figures around me, all females in bed robes, each suspended lifelessly in the air. Whether they were floating, or hanging from a noose, I did not know, nor did I want to find out. Despite the macabre view, I never stopped running, dodging below and between the stiff figures.

In time, the structure narrowed into winding tunnels of dirt and loose stone, twisting to curved slopes. More women were huddled silently by the walls ahead of me, each alive, but gaunt and made helpless from despair. Perhaps to suit the mood, the World 4 theme from Eversion began sounding in the background. In any case, I continued more or less undaunted.

Steadily, the environment began becoming clearer and brighter. So too, in a sense, did the structure. Dirt and rocks were slowly replaced with grated steel and smooth concrete, until eventually, the surroundings resembled an urban transit area (well, minus the actual trains and tracks, but I digress). What's more, the women around me appeared much healthier and were much more lively overall. Curiously, they each were also only dressed in less concealing bedclothes. Concurrently, the music subsided. Much of this view somewhat reminded me of one of my earliest recorded dreams. I glanced up expectingly at my guide, who only simpered back at me.

It was only then that I noticed my strength slipping away. Each step now strained me greatly, and E's weight was finally bearing down on me. I could barely haul us both towards an emergency exit. But, the second I tried opening it, I immediately collapsed. So too did the dream.

Scrap Group 2
Something about being on a black haired giantess' head. I rope down a strand of her hair to get at eye level.

Something about stopping a giantess from rampaging in a city.

Morning of November 10, 2018. Saturday.

Dream #: 18,954-02. Reading time: 2 min 26 sec. Readability score: 66.



I am looking at a map of the island of Sulawesi (Celebes) with its very unusual shape. I notice an isolated fictitious town with the name of “Core” that is otherwise where Central, West, and South Sulawesi meet. There are mostly only native inhabitants there. I project my dream self into the map to create the foundation of my dream. I decide I will play the role of introducing new opportunities and resources to the region.

At one point, I mentally create diced pineapples in a bowl and the tribal leader enjoys them. I reassure him that I will only allow a few tourists to come to the area only during certain time periods and that I will have my team clean the region on a regular basis.

At another point, several soldiers, all in black, come to occupy the area. I mentally create an army that comes in from a ship and wipes them all out.

I decide to go on a journey to Los Angeles. An unfamiliar backpacker asks if he can go with us, and I say yes. I enjoy the idea of a random dream denizen (almost as if I see him as “real” or having perception) being on my ship in my dream. Although the trip is supposed to last several days, we arrive there within minutes. I try to make the ocean waves more interesting. In the distance, there seem to be huge “curtains.”

I alter the nature and progression of my dream with the intent of increasing my dream state awareness. I create rain to sustain and vivify my dream to astounding levels (as water and its specific dynamics has always been a natural melatonin factor of the dream state). The weight and coolness of the water is incredibly realistic. I slowly fly in standing position above an unknown town in semidarkness. I marvel at the pleasurable sensations of the rain that falls upon my skin and the realistic, vivid sound of rain all around me. I fly slowly over a small canal with culverts on each end.

I eventually land and bring out the sun. I walk down a wooden sidewalk and notice the nexus simulacrum (personified preconscious) going through a doorway built adjacent to the building on my right but of which goes to the intersection, but I mentally force him to turn around. I ask him, “What is your name?” He looks puzzled and in a hurry. “What is your name?” I ask him two more times, in case there is an interconsciousness thread present.

I maintain the expectation that the nexus simulacrum may have a level of transpersonal intelligence that may not originate from my dream self.

He answers with “Dennis Sunimun.” I let him leave, as he seems late for a business meeting. Still, “Dennis” is the name of my brother and “Sunimun” is an obvious distortion of “sunny man.” I was hoping for something more, evidence of intelligence beyond my own, which has been present in certain previous dreams.

I reset my dream, with the possibility I will wake myself, but I end up in an offset dream of lesser vividness. Still, I make my way to a library to write down the event. I walk through midair, about ten feet above the street, with a few random people.

In the library, I read handwritten details in a notebook. I write “Dennis Sunimun” several times, but when I look each time, I am not sure if it is clear enough to carry over into my conscious memory and I try writing it again. Finally, I go into another area of the library and walk out with my family.

---

The dream starts at my high school. I can't remember what happens there, but me and a group of friends eventually headed to our middle school. I saw my current art teacher working as a janitor, and the entire building was different. "Hey, this is almost in the same place as it is when I'm AWAKE!" I said, despite the fact this was horribly wrong. Everyone was impressed that I had achieved lucidity. We went inside the building and it was dark. we were in this large room that was poorly lit. To the back of us there was a white wall with a wooden horizontal rack meant for hanging clothes towards the ceiling. While everyone was checking out a room, I told my friend (who will be called E for the rest of the entry) to follow me into somewhere more private. We tried a compartment above the clothes rack, but that was too small. I mentioned the closet, but E said that she didn't like small spaces (I am unsure of this in real life.) We decided to go into the bathroom. What happened next I was still lucid for and will refuse to disclose. I feel partially ashamed for it, as this person was one of my crushes. Nothing that constituted a wet dream. I was sure of this when I woke up this morning and checked my pants. It's just odd for two friends to do. Hint: The bath water turned to red gelatin. There was calming 1950's music in the background. halfway into this moment my dream sort of "ejected" itself from my mind. I still heard the dream, but most of the visuals were lost. I was completely free to open my eyes at that point, and I did.

this is dream I got my soul posses and I was stuck in a mental contraption and enslaved in a dream where it took me 4 months to wake up for a 15 min sleep paralysis time didn't exist I could only move around my house or go to the stores nothing more or nothing less yet I thought it was reality yet I couldn't control non of the outcome no matter how hard I try to attain lucidity when I gain consciousness in the dream state to jolt myself back to waking up I would wake in a false awakening where I can only get up from the bed and lay back on the bed so this took place for 24 hours I could only move from left to right

10-28
Fragment: I remember two men's faces, one of them being Jerry Seinfeld.
Dream: I'm at 9, some new neighbors have moved in to a house I used to petsit at; it's an odd couple, a young asian man and an older white lady. Someone is having their wedding there and F and I are attending. As we enter there's a "good" bottle of wine in a blue bottle which someone takes out of a lit china cabinet. I'm in a room with F and we're having dessert, I do some kind of unconscious dream control and transform a wine glass (like glassblowing, but just with fingertip gestures). My grandpa is calling me from the other room. He says something loudly and brashly which is confusing/embarrassing. Tony Soprano is there. Maybe it was Meadow's wedding.
Fragment: View of a street corner at my old college. It's morning, the light is tinted blue, there aren't many cars on the road.
Fragment: Brothers (that's all I wrote).

10-29
Dream: Long two-part dream with a painting/cooking competition (influenced by watching S1 of Skin Wars with F - I was competing against Mythica). I'm outside, in a grassy space near some bleachers, crowded with trees and some other metal/cinderblock structures. My painting is very saturated in its colors, it's of several columns with a vibrant sky behind them. The sky/weather around me is morning with tinted blue light -- from now on I'll just denote this as MB since it happens so often. I go to/under the bleachers to get a black plastic or metal barrel and start cooking, it's some kind of jambalaya or gumbo with sausage and potatoes. Later I'm in a bus with F's younger cousin, we're searching for ingredients. The bus is more like a warehouse, with a long table going down the length of it (maybe 2-3 times as long as a regular bus); I find what I need: potatoes and my pot of soup, which is smaller now than the barrel. I pull it from under the table, and notice some bugs crawling around some of the bags of ingredients. Transitions again and I'm at 9 having a crawfish boil and cooking hogs whole.
Dream: An old HS classmate who was a bit ditzy is asking for my work ID (the environment is a mix of HS and work) so that we can go on a date. I make an excuse that I have to go to my locker to find it.

10-30
Dream: I'm yelling angrily to my dad about my grandpa's medications. It starts in the backyard with my grandpa in a wheelchair near us, my dad is being to lax and not getting the prescriptions filled on time. I'm really yelling and beating on him, he's unfazed. We end up in the front yard, and a lot of family members and family friends are across the street in my neighbor P's driveway/front yard. They're all watching on as I yell and beat my dad. Eventually I walk over there and talk with them to calm down. Transitions and I'm in our driveway in our old van. My aunt is in the front with a baby, and she's holding it out so I can see it. It has a weird mouth -- it extends too far like a proboscis.
Notes: br stall; swing, flying bound?

Nothing down for 10-31 or 11-01

11-02
Dream: I'm standing next to a pool. Several of my indian coworkers are walking on water, and I ask them how to do it. An older one who sits near me explains about prana and breathing; a younger one who was on my first team makes an analogy that goes something like "A young man ...(insert foolish attempt); An old man ...(wiser, more effective method)". It was actually really good advice but I didn't write it down.
Fragment: Off of a country road, there's a suburban house with a staircase to a small loft right off the front door.
Dream: In 9, at night on the back porch. I'm with F and my dad, there are some ice chests lying around and a tablecloth on the table. It seems like a party is planned soon or just finished. F or I inquire about drinks and my dad says "MImosas" with an emphasis on the first part, making it sound like "My" -- this ties in with an in-joke F and I have about him and the way he says "My TV" or "My truck" in a specific way. There are also tall cans of bud light with weird plastic caps on them. I understand them to be bud light but they look like miller high life; strange. We're on our way to the pool, and I am trying to decide on shoes or flip flops.
Fragment: Something happened here but it's lost now.
Dream: F is in a room next to the bed. She stands up and walks to a door in the far left corner, and when she opens the door, a hand reaches out and grabs her. I can't move but I force the perpetrator to let go of her and approach me instead with dream control. I intrinsically understand that I have a certain energy or "light" that will dispel his darkness. I make him touch my arm and he goes blank-faced; this is similar to a past dream where I would reality check and engage with DCs, at which point they would go blank-faced and sort of become broken robots. He was kneeling down near the bed and had an Optimus Prime toy on his head.
The interesting part is how it started -- I wouldn't call it a WILD, I guess it was more like a DEILD but without the L. I had just gotten up for a bit and I lie down and immediately sort of popped into this one, I just didn't catch it and make it lucid.
Lucid: I decide to really try and get lucid after being teased by the last dream with awareness. I focus my efforts on it and very soon I'm hearing a radio drama in my head, although I still have full awareness of my body. It reminded me of HS and college when I was staying up late or close to sleep due to a project or homework I was working on, and I would get auditory hallucinations of voices/conversations with friends or family members, and or a loud bang or gunshot. Anyway, the radio drama sounded like It's a Wonderful Life, and one of the key characters was Uncle Billy, who was being forgetful about the night before of course. He remembered that he keyed a tree, scratched his name into it. Soon I can feel a sensation of moving back and forth, and I realize I'm on a swing. Once I realize it, the visualizations follow. I see myself in a wooden swing in a small yellowish room, with darkish blue light coming in from a window to the right. I say "I'm dreaming" as I swing, and imagine myself feeling the armrest, and I pop into the dream and lose most awareness of my physical body. I'm able to use pyromancy, and use my fingertip-flame-laser to carve shapes into the wood of the swing. I jump/get up from the swing and start interacting with a wooden desk with loose objects on its surface. I sweep them them off onto the floor, some wooden items, some glass beakers or bottles. I pick up a wooden item -- I forget what it was now -- and inscribe its surface. I remember the words "left" and "sou". The smoke effect from the pyromancy was vivid.

I'm in my bed in still infamy where I slip in lucidity where I'm trapped in a bright white door there toilets everywhere with different color poop jus floating in the air I wake up in a dream where I'm eating a black texture with a brown feeling and and ridged bumps
then I'm at a place where there different colorization of the messy stool then a plastic curtain rips open yellow brown red and green then I wake up

so I was layed in bed in the astral plane before this became a lucid dream the events take place in 4 places that lead back to my bed before I wake up so as I was crucified in my bed with only the ceiling and the floor to see and a couple of props for place one as I start to dream I can feel my body fading as a dark light gesture where I see myself walking out a door from where I'm laying with my eyes closed as if I were playing a third person video game as my conscious was attaining lucidity I teleport to a cash register where the second place started where I reach in my pocket and pull out blood
as I drench my hand in the bleeding cusp and try to pay him with the drenching blood dripping from my hands as that happen I was in a seemless car ride where I only seen car moving on the side of me but there was no being in the vehicle it was jus the dash the sky and the car for place three at the fourth place I was in abandon warehouse where I reach from where the cash register was while still in lucidity of the blood I sit down to make sure I'm not dying as I stand up I see money falling from the ground in a upward motion like the sky was upside down and the ground was the sky then I fade out where my hands were in my pocket then wake up jus staring

Morning of November 8, 2018. Thursday.

Dream #: 18,952-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min. Readability score: 63.



I become aware in non-lucidity of being in an unknown room in semidarkness. Marilyn (half-sister on my mother’s side, deceased) is watching something on a big screen. (I do not recall that she had died in February 2014, and I had not seen her in real life since February 1994. She appears as she was in the 1960s.) It is not discernible at first. A slide projector and another device are near me. The image on the screen is mostly sky, but there is a fuzzy pale rendering of a broadcast tower. I make some remarks about it. (Eventually, there had been some unusual thoughts about which times near the end of the year that Marilyn had been alive and when she had not, which makes no sense. My non-lucid dream self must have forgotten the definitions of “death” and “life.”)

Over time, I turn a dial on the device and the image of the broadcast tower becomes clearer. Soon, the imagery changes and is taking up the entire screen as a lattice of a broadcast tower. Simultaneously, my dream becomes more vivid. I realize that I can now create and control imagery, but I am not yet lucid.

I bring about the imagery of a tunnel to my right. It is holographic and about four feet up from the floor. It is a corrugated metal culvert pipe. My cat Smokey from over twenty years ago comes through, and I pet her. I explain to Marilyn what cat it is even though she would have known. There is something within my mind about summoning a denizen from the nexus, the space between dreaming and waking, which the cat represents. I realize that the broadcast tower was a deliberate creation to augment the dynamics of my current conscious self identity in the dream state and so I enter apex lucidity, where the dream state is wholly mine. Looking at the broadcast tower lattice, it now appears to have pieces of pillow stuffing in equidistant patterns in certain corners.

I summon a young Zsuzsanna as when we first met in 1994. She shines with internal energy. The tangibility reaches hyper-realistic forms, indistinguishable from waking life other than being more defined than would be possible in reality. We indulge in making love for a considerable time. There is a point where she floats above me, glowing internally, and rushes at me, this stemming from deliberate anticipation. There is a notion of a vampire theme (in a role-playing context, though horror movie scenarios have remained difficult to make as I have gotten older), initiated by typical lucid dream state frisson, but I cannot sustain the concept, as my thinking skills are too active.

---

Certain levels of apex lucidity are such a different experience and level of perception and control it is like a different level of existence. The broadcast tower of enhancing the dream state seems as viable as the opening of a door (or opening a wall like a door) or the use of a staircase.

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Afternoon of November 7, 2018. Wednesday.

Dream #: 18,951-07. Reading time: 40 sec. Readability score: 60.



Ralph Waite as on the 1980s television series “The Mississippi” is the main speaker at a meeting in a business-like environment in a large office, though he sits at a desk while speaking. He is wearing a dark suit.

I am semi-lucid, and in the back of my mind, I had been contemplating more precise terms for common induction, dreaming, and waking processes for statistical reasons. One of these was considering the statistical variation between male and female vestibular system simulacrums to see if there was a significant difference when part of the flight symbol subset.

Ralph’s talk seems to be about the nature of dreams and laws regarding them, but I do not discern the content of what he is telling the other males. He has a hardcover book open and refers to it now and then.

There is a slight change of mood, and Ralph sits atop a giant sparrow (suddenly outside the building) and flies off on it.

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male vestibular system simulacrum (in flight), (Ralph Waite)

literal dream space thread

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Created Monday 05 November 2018

Just fragments and a brief LD.

Scrap Group 1
Playing a Mario game.

Showering in an unknown small bathroom. I got semi-aware, and started 'daydreaming' about getting into a boss fight for some reason. Cut. False awakening in a bedroom, where I pretty much do as above.

DEILD transition, first into a dreamlet, then a dream. I start visualizing a boss fight as above. This first took form as a typical 16-bit RPG battle screen. Warp to my actually battling in the void. I was in a gunfight with a light-skinned woman in a 20's mobster get-up. Despite our automatic firearms and the lack of cover, neither of our shots struck true. "Danger in the Dance Floor" from Sonic Mania was sounding in the background. The dream collapsed rather quickly.

All night it's the same story. If I close my eyes I INSTANTLY fall asleep, but I remain in my room, like a false awakening that happens with no delay. The only reason I know i'm asleep is that I can immediately hear voices. Usually those of my roommate, one time it was Jake Paul (lol, I've never seen a video of his) and then for the last 10 or so it was the voice of a little british girl, standing behind me in my bedroom.

The dreams didn't seem particularly hostile, just generally weird noises, the british girl would just seem to dictate my thoughts, so if I concentrated I could actually control what she said, but it didn't make it feel any less creepy, just sitting there in my bed listening to some random little girl. It was pretty scare knowing that at any moment the dream could go south very fast, so I would just repeatedly wake myself up to avoid that happening.

It's 5 AM and I'm fuckin dead tired. Gonna watch friends for a while then try to sleep again.


Maybe I ate too much cheese for dinner.

I'm kinda planning on not writing my non lucid dreams I this journal, but since I had 2 dreams tonight where one of them was a lucid, I'll put both in here.
However, I did not write these 2 dreams down during the night, so I'll only put in some notes here.

First dream, I was in a Arabic like city. I was traveling with a friend, and we were exploring the city. Suddenly we hear evacuation sounds, and people start fleeing. It turns out there was a zombie outbreak. I forgot something in a car, so I went to grab it. However the zombies caught up to me. Suddenly 3 super zombies appeared. The were wealding swords, and ran a sword fast as humans. I ran away, but one of the zombies eventually caught up with me, and slashed me up. I woke up.... awwwww


The second dream I can't remember so well. However I remember how I got lucid. I was walking up some appartement stairs, and couldn't find the flat I was looking for. I randomly became lucid, since I knew I could just open a random door and it would lead me to where I wanted to go. I opened the door closest to me, and entered. I started feeling my real body, in my bed. I tried forcing a false awakening (I have had good experiences with forcing a false awakening when the lucid dream becomes unstable). However I just woke up.. my body felt heavy and it felt unreal. However I didn't bother RC..... was this really not a false awakening.. hmmmmm

Last night I got lucid and made the standard, frantic effort to harness the moment to some purpose. Upon waking I neglected to journal and subsequently forgot the dream's content.

Created Saturday 03 November 2018

Got that WILD to note, along with a fragment or two.

Dream 1 - Seated WILD

The visuals were dim, and fluctuated between blurriness and some clarity. WILD transition during seated meditation (that's a first for me). My body felt especially (perhaps disturbingly) numb and light, but also quite weak. I mostly just preoccupied myself with looking around at my surroundings. After a few minutes of moving around, I'd get reanchored back to the seat. There was one point where I'd warped outside into an eerie courtyard, but only briefly. At other moments, I floated around the house, but couldn't keep up in the air for long. I made several attempts at calling my guide, without success. Ditto at summoning a tortoise, my laptop (which I'd completely forgotten was only a few feet away!), and even at projecting myself outward to another's dream. In one of the final instances, I crawled back to bed, just to see what would occur if I 'slept'. Of course, I just got reanchored in the seat a minute later. Eventually, I stirred, and awakened.

Scrap Group 1
At a hotel with family. Cut to a Law-and-Order-inspired animated movie. This even had voice clips from Jerry Orbach, lines that were supposedly recorded years before in a related project just before he'd died.

Cooking at home. Unlike in real life, the front left burner actually worked. I only casually questioned as much.

Morning of November 3, 2018. Saturday.

Dream #: 18,947-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



I enter my dream in a very unusual way for a morning dream. The process is so slow that I am hardly aware of the distinction between my waking thoughts and the dreamscape slowly coming into existence. (This usually only occurs in the first stage of a sleep cycle.) My conscious self identity remains fully aware. I walk into an isolated area that looks like a construction site with minimal detail.

I decide to find Zsuzsanna (even though she is physically close to me in reality). There is a trailer home oriented lengthwise in the middle of a dirt road. I walk around to the other side, deciding that she will be in it. The door is too small for me to go into the structure, so I mentally will the whole wall to vanish.

After she comes out, I stand with Zsuzsanna, kissing her. My state of apex lucidity is slightly glitchy. Although it is otherwise very realistic, her face glows at times and seems transparent. There is a curious quivering effect.

Later, I start to throw knives at random unknown people whom I see as intruding into my dream space. They mostly go into chests and sometimes heads. There is no blood or gore.

I eventually reach a point where the setting solidifies to where I am looking at a window screen (liminal space divider). It now seems to be dark out. I cannot believe how perfect and even the screen is. It defies my imagination with its evenness and perfections and remains stable until I wake. I try to create a monster to come up (to whatever building I am in) from the other side of the screen - to press its face against it.

I imagine an ugly gargoyle coming up to the screen from the darkness outside. There is no change in the window or the screen’s detail. The screen remains perfect, and no monster ever appears. I get annoyed, trying to force my imagination as much as I can to come up with the ugliest monster possible, and start growling loudly to encourage the process. Nothing happens. I continue to make loud growling sounds while anticipating the appearance of a horrifying creature. Nothing appears. I realize my conscious self identity is too integrated within the dream state to allow something implausible to manifest at this point. If I were less lucid, I would probably have more dream control. A window screen represents the essence of the preconscious function (reticular activating system), so ultimately it is pointless to bring something imaginary from the other side of it. I have absentmindedly attempted this in many past dreams without success.

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The part with the knives seemingly stems from Zsuzsanna looking at a Deadpool knife block recently, but she had not told me about it. (They were in his head.) At least one dream per sleep cycle is telepathic (for lack of a better word), often with more precise detail depending on the nature of the feature or event.

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