memorable

Night of July 20, 2015 Monday.



I meet the “mystery girl”, the life-long “dream girl” at an apartment building (where her half-brother is living at the time) - the building with the same name as my middle name near a road with the same name as my first name; neither name being very common and certainly not that popular with mainstream society. I walk up to her taking in the layout of the building on the second floor, the railing, her beautiful smile. “Now you know for sure. That I really care for you. Only the eye can tell you why”.

The dream girl came from a place called Heaven. She lived in an unlikely house with exterior walls missing, like a cutaway view of a house as I saw in my dreams as a child; a rainforest girl, born on Friday the Thirteenth. She was the flower girl in a Nimbin event. The Cowsills sing “I love the flower girl. Was she reality or just a dream to me?” She was across the ocean though I always could feel her and sometimes tried to make the journey in my dreams. “Nimbin” is an imaginary place, a classmate tells me.

“What time is it when the clock strikes thirteen?” it says on the back of a paperback book of ghost stories. “Time to get a new clock,” writes my sister on the cover in blue ink.

“Why did you…?” I start to say to the “mystery girl”. Why did she copy the drawing of the only other person I suspected might actually exist on this planet in a way that brought on the blue light. She looked over my right shoulder on my desk in her moment of lucidity, the drawing of which she mentally took back with her to copy so that I knew something was going on when she sent it to me years later upon discovering she was real. The dream girl and the “other” (the one who originally drew the image) both had similar first names (Susan and Zsuzsanna/Suzi) and their last names; both seven letters, and vowels and consonants in the same sequence, probably not that important in the scheme of things

“I’ve got the key, I’ve got the secret,” sing the Urban Cookie Collective. “Come with me see a brand new day”, Yothu Yindi sing. Meeting my partner is the biggest joy ever, especially seeing her as the most beautiful girl on the planet since early childhood…Roma Hungarian (gypsy) but with an intriguing and unique Roma-Australian accent.

I mishear “you see that cycad palm” as “you see that psychic come”. When I learn of the real lyrics, I smile inwardly. It is a good thing. “Psychics” cannot exist because the Source will have none of it. The Source cannot be controlled, named, poked, or prodded. You might as well try to control how your food digests, molecule by molecule.

I look at her in the mirror (as if I was looking at my own reflection) just prior to her contact. “…and if it sounds a bit upside-down, it’s from down under…” The cassette is my first treasure from her.

My bride is the only voice I could ever hear more deeply inside of me (and it turns out that she was the one that told me things as I was growing up - such as the package of books in the mail that had been split open and left on a desk downstairs from my apartment before I got to my boarding house and their exact arrangement in an impossible visual “memory” - yet this was also somehow like a feminine memory and her voice at the same time), the only one who can bring the blue light within me, it seems. The only other one who seems to exist with me.

“Blue flame!” shouts my brother-in-law looking at me as if for the first time and twists his head around in his arm chair, almost straining his neck, to see if other people are looking my way. He says he sees “blue fire burning” around my head and shoulders. A few minutes later, he is himself again, short-term amnesia taking root as it always does with “normal” people.

I look upon the face of my “imaginary girl” and her visage is of the same beauty as before we met. The same unique voice and accent - since April 9th, 1994, the 99th day of that year.

Have others, somewhere at some point in human history, lived as I have…or even understood as I have, the makings of their own place in the universe, and where every little pattern and idea that exists seems to be specially designed for the self as some sort of clue or hint? There are no records of such that I know of. Skepticism. Anger. Jealousy. Short-term amnesia. Nervous doubt. Fear of the unknown. This is what makes people human. I have to remember that others are like chicks in eggs. I have to remember that even as a young child, adults were like chicks in eggs to me. Everything I saw around me was ridiculously deceitful but unable to sway what I knew. All those frustrated people of my past watch me walk away.

I was Trying to get a item (i dont remember what) and these monsters from a horror game ive played, they tried to kill me but i wasnt scared.
i began running as fast as i could and i remember that i double jumped like in videogames.
i ran down some stairs and entered a bright snack store.
(this snack store is very close to my house and i always go there on fridays)
but something didnt seem to fit in.
i started wondering if there was a fridge in the middle of the store last time i was here.
and i realised that im dreaming, i started thinking "dont think of something scary or i might end up in an nightmare"
so i accidentally thought of something scary(it was some kind of dark room with minimal lightning.
the floor collapsed and i fell down on a chair.
a scary looking girl dressed in white approached me closely and i said you're not real.
i'd feel stressed and started laughing without reason.
i began to look at the wall and try to move it, and after some tries it did!
the wall was now a portal to a tropical forest and the girl in the room looked alot prettier.
(i love to have a dream girlfriend because things are less complicated here haha )
i grabbed her hand and jumped down.
we fell to the ground after jumping from the room and everything looked much bigger, like the size of the forest growed alot.
we began to run and explore the forest together and the last thing i remember is that we were sitting on a leaf and eating from a giant taco.

High School Reunion
I'm watching some massive waves coming through. I'm unsure if I'm in the water or just a spectator.

I'm at a shopping centre and I see a few people from my school. I think there's meant to be a high school reunion.

I'm at a water slide and there's a lot of people waiting. I feel as if it's going to be a while before I get to go down. I see my brother. He goes down with 6 others in short breaks between sliders. There's a baby that goes down. He grips to the slide a bit, but eventually gets going down the slide. I'm in the slide somehow, maybe to help the baby go down the slide. I try to climb back up the slide and struggle doing so, but get to the top eventually. I sit back in line for my shot.

Im at a pub drinking with some of the guys from high school.

A Different Looking YCW
I'm at YCW surf beach but it looks different. Everyone is instructed to get out of water and move to the other beach which is only about 20 meters away on the opposite side of the sand. The waves are big and thick. They're breaking instantly. The waves are are forming from a man made wall that's keeping the water in. The water is rebounded off of it and instantly forming a big wave and breaking. I see a lot of young kids sitting under the wave, letting it break on top of them. I find this crazy. I figure it out after a few waves that it's fake. The whole wave is like a hologram, and the scene changes still has the wave and kids. I see the waves in the distance, they're coming from different angles then normal.

Dave and maybe Josh are have found a frisbee and are throwing it to one another. We're not the best at throwing. We can't seem to find the right amount of power in our throws. The scene changes to my house. They're in my bedroom throwing the frisbee. Dave throws it and it goes into the laundry. I struggle finding it and eventually find that it went under the door and is outside. I bring it back in and throw the frisbee to Dave, who is on the bed.

I'm in the water with Josh and Daryl, and it looks to be getting dark. I see a guy in the distance swimming.

I'm on dry land now and Daryl wants to buy some weed. I tell him that it's a silly idea considering that he hasn't smoked in over a month due to having to get a medical for work soon. He tells me he has passed it before and will pass it again. I tell him it's not worth the risk because of the situation his in with money, and really needs the job. Daryl seems to be getting a bit pissed off, but I continue giving him the tough love. Also it surprised me that Josh wasn't backing me up and he was almost giving him suggestions on how to get some weed.

We're now walking in a strange area, which looks similar to terminator 2 scene where they're getting chased by the truck through the sewer. I'm walking up top on a small ledge and the others are on down below. They seem to be thinking the way I'm going will be blocked by something. I
noticed that it's a clear path for me, and that it had been removed. I get to a end and look down. There's a way of getting down but it's tricky. I see lines appear, showing me the way. It feels like I'm in a video game. Without any logical thinking, I jump and try and land on one of the safe spots. As I'm floating down, it feels like gravity isn't normal, as I seem to have more time to try land correctly.
I'm now a video character, a small red looking creature I think. I land in a good spot, but the danger isn't over. I've got to continue find safe spots which confuses me, as I feel rushed and don't exactly know where to jump to. I feel as if I'm getting close to end but get stuck. My health starts depleting and I'm not looking too good. I still feel I'm able to make it, but end up dying.

I wake up in a small room. There's a radio in the room with someone talking. Im imprisioned. A man comes into the room but unsure what he said or did. I look outside and notice there is a path of water drops on the balcony. One of the other characters must have reached the Safe zone and left the evidence behind.

This dream had an incredible scene. I was by the waters of the Pacific Northwest Unites States by the water. I think I was in a cove or maybe by a saltwater "river". The clouds would roll in and out making it sunny or cloudy at any given moment. The landscape was beautiful pine forests with a sandy shore in some places and rocky in others. the water was slightly stained. I was in a small cove when I spotted a pod of orca milling(playing) in the area. I got so excited I almost jumped. There was a raised wooden viewing platform and I immediately went over to it to get a better view. On my way up the stairs an orca was splashing enough water to send some of it over to me as i climbed the stairs. It was a spectacular sight looking out. Watching this family of orca swimming, playing, and socializing with each other. The family bonds so obviously strong in this pod. Most of the orca swam down river but one decided to stay, I think maybe for me. It played around right in front of the stand as if to show me some things. It was a massive orca, the biggest of all the family rolling on its back and sending water everywhere with powerful inverted tail lobs slapping the water with powerful force. I wanted to go see the whole family and I began to walk down river to where they had begun playing again. Walking down the rocky part of the beach I looked out over the water. I could not believe where I was. As i got to the sandy side of the beach I also was in the forest now by the water. Two adult orca were laying in the sand looking across the water. I walked up in between the two and they both looked back at me. I was slightly nervous being near there tail knowing one blow could knock me unconscious. I got near there mid sections and petted them both at once but they rejected it and slid back into the water. With my confidence hurt I went to the waters edge where a smaller one was playing by the shore. I reached down to pet it but it quickly made an effort to swim away. Now I was getting a little disheartened until finally a small calf swam over to me, excited to see me. It rolled around and let me pet it for a bit. We looked right in each others eyes and all I saw was joy, playfulness, and curiosity. It was not afraid. I was over-joyed with finally getting to interact with one. I understand this is never my choice, the orca will always determine whether or not they want to interact with people an i have no choice but to respect their decisions; but i'm glad the calf gave me a chance to interact with it, I feel honored. It swam away back to its family and I watched a little bit longer. Sad they were all leaving but happy I got to see them. That was the last I saw them.

Hey, i don't recall that much but ill try my best.

I was with a girl which i assume its her lol named Megan, and we were hangin out and we went to a hotel to chill at the Pool and with other friends, we had fun and then she had to go or somethin happened and she dissapeared, i was with mom i think somewhere later on and someone fall down almost dying cus he had some sickness and i tried to help , then he stood up and everything was fine lol, what a dream... anyways then i didnt talk to that girl called Megan for 2-3 days (in my dream) i thought something's going on, got emotional there lol, and i decided to send a message on fb and ask whats up.

First message i got was a video on her city or something that zombies came to life or something and people dying and stuff like that, anyway i was chatting and i decided to go there and see whats up with her friends etc, on my way i told her or she put the phone voice call on speaker, and i wanted to give an advice lol, the advice was: Hey guys, i want to give an advice because this videos you are watching are not the reality, this media is trying to take over and make us watch this videos to seek their help, they are trying to build their own democracy ''s***" and thats it, well then i assume i wanted to talk to Megan in private and i woke up =D

peace.

Body Surfing In Thailand
I'm with Daryl in Thailand. We're on a beach and its night time. I see a car in the parking lot and some dude is fucking some Asian girl. He is having sex with her while standing up. I walk towards the water and see Shonnie and his partner. It's not his real partner. This girl is a pretty Asian. I hear her say that the water is a bit cold as she goes deeper. I get in and check for myself. I'm surprised she thought it was cold because I was loving it. We decide to go out deeper. Daryl is with us as we swim out. Daryl says there's a bit set coming through. I swim towards the shore to try and catch one of the waves. I begin body surfing the wave with Daryl. It feels awesome. It has a different feel to it, so smooth. I thought I was going to collide with Daryl but I Maneuvered out of his way. The wave takes me all the way onto the shore. I eject off the wave onto the sand in a standing position. I tell Daryl that I body surfed it all the way to shore, but he doesn't believe me.

I have a small Asian girl with me and we're standing at a deli looking for some food to buy. The girl starts touching the glass, which the girl behind the counter didn't like. I put the Asian girl on my shoulders. I feel a bit uncomfortable due to this girls age. I feel that they're thinking I'm a pedophile or something. I order quite a bit of food, which all looks good. I think at some point I feel as if I'm dreaming and it didn't matter what I ate, but don't take advantage of the thought, and continue the dream as normal. I order a few things multiple times.

Im in a room just off the beach. A competition just finished, which was of women's surfing. There were 2 rival girls who were not too fond on each other. I see Germain and I have a chat with him. I ask how footy is going. He says that his teams not playing the best. I say that he's team won the flag last year right? He replies with a yes. I have a feeling Germain doesn't really want to talk much.

Scores from the women's competition are being read out and it's very tight. It looks as if the girl I'm not wanting to win is going to win. To my surprise the last judge gave a great score to the one I wanted to win, which got her the victory. The loser is upset and has sour grapes. I see 2 posters on the wall and the loser writes her thoughts on he decision down on the poster. I feel like it's bad sportsmanship. I feel like writing something under her text.

So I don't know if this would be considered lucid or more like partial lucid, but I had a dream last night that felt so real. I was somehow in possession of a red Ferrari sports car. This isn't the first time I have had a dream specifically about a red Ferrari. It has been 7-10 years since I last had a Ferrari dream. The dreams are always pretty much the same. Super happy that I have a Ferrari, although I have no clue it's a dream. I just do alot of driving, and for some reason this time around I thought it would be a good idea to loan the car to a friend of a friend (I know, its weird), and then somehow the car was lost and I went on a frantic search for the elusive crimson machine. I never found it, and then woke up. Last nights dream was the first time that I ever let anybody else drive the car. It's kinda humorous to me that it's always a Ferrari, and never any other type of super car.

Niki Lauda would be proud!

The strangest. weirdest. dream I've ever had probably.

I remember fragments, and I have to write this down quick because I have to get ready for work, and let's be honest, I probably won't get back to it today.

It's like I won a strange lottery or something... but not until the middle.

First thing I remember is being with a group of people at night in a neighborhood and going into someone's house that I don't know. I don't think it was my neighborhood, and at first I didn't think the owners of the house were at home. It's dark out and inside the house as well. It's a pretty nice house (this is probably because my cousin gave me pictures yesterday of the new house he bought). Then I'm alone and I'm upstairs and I see that the occupants are home. It's an overweight man and his not overweight wife. maybe in their late thirties, early forties. I feel like I have to get out of there before they see me. so I head to the door and meet up with the people who I broke into the house with and we just walk out the front door. there was an elderly lady, though, that we saw before leaving, and she didn't make it seem like we were in any trouble for being there.

Then we're in a van (maybe because we were talking about vans and the Buick Enclave I want while we were at Busch Gardens yesterday) and driving around a "neighborhood" and I use that term loosely because it was more like a backlot tour at a movie set, but it was kind of creepy. it had the feel like we were in a video game, but I didn't know the objective. I can't remember anything more than feeling that it was weird. it's like we were on a tour. it was still dark, but then it's like we were going through different terrains (I've been playing Terraria) and it was turning into a snowy area, the I feel like there was fire, and maybe muddy at some points.

then I remember walking into like maybe a casino or a gigantic arcade. I was in line with people and when it was my turn I asked for this device that you wear around your neck and it clamps down on it on either side and it has speakers in it and it vibrates like a video game controller, but you feel it all throughout your body. When it activated, I could hear someone say something through the speaker and it was like it was in my head, not a peripheral sound from inside the arcade. (I had a little while ago, maybe a month ago, been playing Fallout using headphones.) I enter the arcade and see all these games, tons of them, in rows like at a casino. Then I run into Poussey from Orange is the New Black and she's so excited and she grabs me by the shoulders and says, "it's like we won the lottery!" I can't find any games I want to play, though.

Then I see this lady sitting on the ground or in a beach chair talking to a group of people about selling... cars... electronics... something, and I start talking about how I would sell the shit out of whatever it was we were talking about. I was pretty excited about it, and it seemed like she was, too, like she wanted to hire me.

Then somehow I don't have my shirt on and I walked up to someone that worked at wherever I was at and told them, and she said, oh it's no big deal, show off that six pack! (I do not have a six pack... but I *am* losing some weight!) so I straighten myself up and stand tall and walk around like it's NBD.

Then I'm outside and I'm walking around in the snow and I can see my footprints. At this point I become lucid for a brief moment and think that I can go do whatever I want now because I realize I'm dreaming. but something startles me and I lose it. I haven't been lucid for a very long time. Maybe stressed out at work, I dunno. Then I see my wife go walk off into the bushes with another woman and I feel really upset, like, that's my wife! what are you doing?

then I'm in a group of people and we're walking through what feels like a haunted house, except it's outside and there a guy and a few girls with me. I feel like it's a game and people are watching us (like Cabin in the Woods). Then we get to a swimming pool/lazy river and we all get in. we float over to a section where there's a man asking what we want most. one of the girls says she wants a spoon with caramelized sugar on it and I say I want a "marijuana cigarette" which must have been a big no-no to ask for and the girl and the guy asking the question's eyes got really big ans so I said "haha, I got you, just kidding, I want to do stand-up comedy!" and so then I'm on a big stage and the curtain opens and the song "I don't wanna lose your love tonight" comes on, but I sing the words "I got my first real six string... bought it at the five and dime... I don't know the rest of the words... I just wanna shake my ass for you!!" and then I'm on these gymnastics parallel bars and I do some really sweet routine.

then my alarm went off.

damn. what a night. I need to take a shower.

Casey's Here
I'm in my bedroom at my house, but it's my old bedroom. I think I was sleeping when Megan came in. Megan says I should get up or something. It felt rude. She says that her old friend was over. Megan leaves the room. I take a massive drink from my water jug, finishing about 80% of it. I'm disappointed that I finished that much, as that needed to last my the whole day. I begin getting ready and try some clothes on. I try a heavy brown jumper on. I quite like it, but it's a tad big maybe. I go through a lot of clothes, with a lot being ugly or too big etc. I think one of them is dads. Daryl comes Into the room with a massive plastic water container, which he places on my bed. I hear Casey's voice in the house. I anticipate Jane or someone coming in to get me to come out and socialize. As I come out, the guests have left. I sit on the couch eating a small tub of coleslaw. Jane walks in and asks if I'm ready for a bike ride. I'm not sure if I'm keen at first, but decide I probably should. Jane shows us some food that we can have, which was a sourdough roll. I get up and walk over to the bench. Daryl is telling me that this place really brings out his beautiful eyes. I examine them closely and see that they're light blue mostly. They seem to be still changing as its a bit patchy.

Off To A Bad Start
I'm at a house and there seems to be a bit of a gathering going on. I'm on the toilet which is in a bedroom. I have the runs. It doesn't have a pleasant smell to it. I wipe my ass and get shit on my jumper or something. It drips onto the floor and leaves a stain. I'm not feeling too good about that, and try to see if I can rub it out, or blend it in with the carpet somehow. I try to find some more toilet paper, eventually finding some near the toilet itself. My brother is now using the toilet, and he realizes I still need to use it. He grabs the toilet bowl and moves it closer to him. Im a bit shocked with what I just saw. He is pissing into the bowl and almost filling it to the top. The toilet bowl falls over and piss goes everywhere. I feel a little better about myself that I'm not the only one that made a mess in the bedroom. A bit of piss gets onto the side of the bed. I smell the sheets to see if it reeks of piss. It doesn't.

I'm in the kitchen and there are people at the table. I decide to play a game where I have to sell product to them. I see 3 vita biscuits on a plate. I pick up the plate and tell them my pitch, which goes a bit like this.
"Ok I have these rare biscuits here. The reason they're rare is due to the ingredients and the culture of them. You know how normal flour is used for making biscuits? Well this isn't normal flour. This is MOON DUST Aka Moon Flour. Also If you look at the 3 biscuits, they have a different color to them. I call this the multicultural biscuits. One is dark, other is medium and last is lightest of the colors."
I had a black hooded jacket on, with the hood over my head when doing the pitch. I really put some professionalism into the pitch, even put on the goofy fake voice they do. As I finished, I continued my act and walked out like I was overly cocky with what I had achieved. I feel a bit embarrassed with what had just happened.

I'm outside and there's an announcement of a man performing a triple backflip on a BMX and eventually landed it after many tries in practice. I think to myself that someone recently performed a quadruple backflip on BMX and that this may have been the one he was talking about. It's night time and I see the set up for the show. It looks like nitro circus which is sponsored by red bull. I see a man go down a big ramp, he's connected to a metal chariot. The horse is made out of metal also. He's flying around the track and notice that he's in a wheel chair. He disconnects from the chariot and flys across what looks to be water. He doesn't make it all the wave and falls off the side of the narrow path.

The scene changes and I'm seeing Daryl run from a girl. Everyone is playing hide and seek. I decide to join in and hide behind these thick trees. There are a lot of trees near one another. Daryl climbs the tree and is hesitant to go any higher. I think that's the right option as there isn't much to hold onto, apart from the trunk. I keep an eye on Daryl incase he falls onto me. I imagine if I was up there and fell, would anyone catch me? And if they did, would it work out ok. I see the girl coming my way. I decide to run to the side of her, hoping to be covered by the trees. She spots me and I run quickly towards a safe zone. I reach the safe zone, but the hole to enter it is too small. I think I try another hut which allows me in. The roof is cut off the hut. Me and the other guy in there are poking our heads out. We're talking about Julian Wilson the pro surfer.

I meet up with some people from the gathering. I don't feel too comfortable due to drinking the night before. I see my cousin Trev. He's sitting in a covered area. There's a lot of cars on top of the small hill. I see Trev's dad, and give him a wave. My dad is walking towards me also. I'm a bit shocked to see him come to something like this.

Where do I start?

It's been over six months since the last time I've been fully active on this forum, and I actually have my reasons for it.
You probably won't have noticed this, atleast I hope so cause if you did then that would mean you're stalking me or something, but anyways! The last six months was a period spanning from my midterm exams to my last exams at high school, I succeeded in all these wonderfully, nearly catching the award for physics but eventually ending on the second place. (still hurts but I can live with it...:tongue:)

While for most students that meant the end of the school year and looking forward to university, I was... well let's say my education course has some EXTRA criteria in order to be allowed into university.
The education I'm talking about is for people who want to become doctor or dentist, here in Belgium there's a special entry exam for that, kinda like you have these special universities in America and Great Britain you're not Always allowed into them.

So what have I been doing for the last 4 weeks after High school ended?
You guessed it, I spend nearly 24/7 studying like a lunatic and in the end I passed the exam... BARELY, like my score was 30/60 which is JUST enough to pass.

Of the 5000 participants, 500 passed which shows how difficult it was and I'm glad I don't have to spend the remainder of the vacation studying for the second chance you get in August when you didn't pass in July.


And now I'm here, with more than 3 months ahead of just free time until university comes up I think this is the period in which I'l become a fricking lucid god! The last lucid dream I had is I think still recorded in my DJ on the forum so you can see that it has been a long time since I've had one.
I've learned being optimistic too often is not Always the best strategy to solving things so I'll just go into this with the mindset that I've lost ALL OF MY ABILITIES and my skill at lucid dreaming is like that of a noob.
Some might be dissapointed with such a fall back, but I'm actually quite excited as this means I can once again embark on adventure!

The end this message before it gets too long I want to say that my DR hasn't actually been that sh*t lately, I haven't noted them down but every morning I can remember about 3 of them so I'm not too worried about that.
Anyway, see you tomorrow with fresh dreams and for those curious as to which profession I'd like to learn at university, I'm learning to become a dentist!:chuckle:

I was trying to trigger a lucid dream in which I'd re-encounter my dream guide, but instead I got a non-lucid nightmare.

3am

Dream Two non-lucid

I had a dream I could see Mittens (my cat who passed away) every once and a while and Mom finally took a video of it and the girl from the ring was appeared in it, with this horrifying music, and eventually I couldn't shut it off...

I liked the music. It was very beautiful. But in its context it was horrifying.

The whole time I was thinking, could I edit out the part with Sadako, or will it just revert back to the normal video?

The video started off with me petting Mittens. Then, she went behind the counter to chase a spider and Sadako's hair was under the dishwasher. Suddenly, you could see her face peer out *shudders*. Then, the video skipped to this scene in the sky? I don't remember. Then back to Sadako, with her getting closer and closer to the camera. Originally I refused to watch the entire video, but when I finally did I couldn't turn it off anymore.

I felt bad because at the end of the dream, when I couldn't shut off the video, I handed it to my mom or brother for him or her to deal with whatever curse it brings. I was showing it to my brother, but I think at the last moment it was my mom holding the camera.

Dream One non-lucid

There was this online course, but it happened on a device like a Pokewalker. So all the text for the course was on this small device, one line at a time. I just thought it was the most ridiculous thing and complained.

I wasn't enrolled in the course. I think my sister-in-law was looking at schools and saw the course.

Date: Tuesday July 7 2015, 5:18 AM
Important: Yes

wild
Big day for day work! Last day of vacation and I'm at home. I'm working on the RC + Sageous' Unreality checks a couple of times an hour. Studying some Leberge and Sageous yesterday and getting to bed super early with a Meditation session right before bed.

bed at 10:30, wake up at 3:30. I almost didn't get up but then i finally did. Let the dogs out to go pee and wandered around the back yard looking at the sky and thinking about dreaming.I took a "Lucid dreaming" supplement from Dreamimins. (galantamine + Choline) I lay still. I stretch my hands, arms, legs, chest, back and face. then i hhold still and repeat the classic Carlos Casteneda mantra. "The next time I am dreaming I will look at my hands and realize I am dreaming. I hear lots of noise. Rushing wind, people talking. I'm thinking about getting up to see what all the commotion is then I remember that I'm WILDing and remember that I'm dreaming.

I'm in a dark room with no light source but a lamp. I'm carrying it around shining it on things. I think that because I'm dreaming I should be able to make light appear.
I try to find a light switch but when i find one, it doesn't work.
i think about how i have that old schema that light switches don't work from "Waking Life".
i find a door and imagine what I want on the other side. I remember how one of my goals is to have a conversation with a DC. I walk through the door
then the lights come on.
I'm in a big room with super tall columns. There's an elegant cocktail party going on.
I am looking at hands, the fingerprints are deepening and darkening and crawling all over my hands in crazy patterns.

I see a pretty indian woman in a black cocktail dress and my sex drive takes over, I walk up to her and started kissing her. I put my arm around her. She's pulling away. I ask what she thinks, not interested, gives me a disgusted look, she leaves and i'm a little annoyed. The dream starts to destabilize so I Look at my hands.

looking at my hand and seeing henna tattoos patterns all over them. I find another door and want to go outside.

make it outside and it's very bright and very green. Lots of grass and a few small buildings.
I try to fly and make a high jump and fall to earth.
I see a building like some kind of fancy shed and use that as a jump off point.
I Jump to the top of the building and fly into space.
I'm looking around at the stars and I see the death star. This is super cool.
I try to fly to it but I'm stuck
I remember the Waggoner technique of thinking myself there so I try to pinch zoom it closer with both hands. Instead of it coming closer the whole sky expands into an industrial death-star landscape. I see smoking red fires and and explosions. This causes a heart rush and I lose the dream.

Dield
I'm walking around in a dark house with lots of hallways and i see people walking around.
I see an old friend but he's now in a wheelchair. I remember that one of my goals is to have a conversation with a dream character. I ask him how he's doing but he won't look me in the eye. His brother walks up to me.
I ask how he's doing.
he tells me that we are friends now and that his brother is happy but distant.
dream goes black

I start spinning. It's like 2001 with the colors shooting all around me.
I am in a very gothic house. There are mer-people flopping all over the place.
they are disgusting. There is a hot meryl streep mer lady laying on the couch. I tell her hi. A big ugly mer monster man, slimy and sweaty, jumps down from a door frame and attacks me.
I wake up.

I noticed I didn't have this dream online, and it is one of the most current and frustrating K dreams I have had, so I wanted to go over my oddly very detailed dream notes and vivid memory of the dream and make an official dream journal memory I could go back over later, even when my dream notes have been lost.

I am going down the street where some of my paternal extended family lives. I see lights up in the sky, flying in very choreographed patterns. I am sure they are UFOs and near by. I half walk half run towards the lights. In a usually vacant field is a floating eyeball of fire, just like the eye in lord of the rings, complete with a lava tower beneath it and what looks like lava pooling out from around it on the ground. There are two girls with me, one's name is Melissa but I don't really know her or anyone like her in waking life, the other I don't even have a dream name for. The eye and lava tower become a man in a white robe with a giant eyeball mask on his head. He's running towards us throwing fire balls at us, and I happen to dodge and catch one of the robe sleeves throwing him off balance and knocking his mask off. Under the mask, he's just a nasty sweaty guy with a seriously runny nose. The runny boogers are so bad they are trailing a couple of feet down from his nose and when he tries to catch his balance sans the mask, the boogers whip out to land across my arm. Gross! We break into an empty home nearby to wash up a bit, and I take off the jacket I am wearing that got snot on it. The home owners are returning, so we run out the back door and through the woods behind the house. I briefly worry about my jacket that I left behind linking me to the break in, but my dream brain quickly stops caring. On the other side of the woods, we find a graveyard and it's sunrise. there's a truck parked out on a maintenance path, and there's a form standing outside the truck. When we get closer to the truck I realize the form is K, but his face and body are all swollen up from some sort of crazy allergic reaction to something. I wake up.

I fall back asleep thinking of the previous dream, and this time find myself walking back through the same graveyard. I am following K, though he is far ahead of me, and he quickly arrives at a house. I try to speak to him, but he is scrambling around and basically blowing me off muttering about dream research he has to do. He isn't swollen up anymore, and he looks older, haggard even. I go downstairs upset and trying to just get away from this unusual rejection. Downstairs, the basement of this house is filled to the brim with boxes and all kinds of old bikes and random junk. I manage to squeeze my way through over and around all the mess to a window. I open the window and climb through to find myself in the front yard. There's a yard sale going on in the front yard, and there are people that my dream self knew as friends sitting on the steps chatting, as well as a couple of little dogs running around the yard amid the items displayed for sale. K has walked out the front door and is still mumbling about dream research. I tell him that we are in a dream right now, and we could research better together if we could just find each other! The sudden admission that I am in a dream causes me to have a false awakening. I wake up with my cheek on a dark wooden floor facing a set of stained glass front doors. I walk towards and through those doors, and as I do the new looking floors age and become worn out looking as well as the rest of the house. When I am out in the neighborhood, I decide that K's house from earlier in the dream will be in this neighborhood, I just have to walk in the direction that feels right. I find the house with the yard sale, and K is on the front porch still. There is a rolling chair on the sidewalk near the steps he is standing and the friends are sitting on. I sit down in the rolling chair and tell him my name and the city and state I live in. He says something about "Faust" and "Curro", I am confused because his words sound muffled and distorted. I ask him to repeat them and I reach for a laptop on the ground nearby thinking I will look the words up as he tells them to me. Once again, his words are muffled and distorted and I wake up trying to concentrate on them too hard.

K was very out of character in this dream. Instead of the usual calm, collected, bad ass who always seems like he has everything under control and can protect me from anything my dreams throw at me, his allergic reaction and almost frantic mumbling about dream research made him seem very weak and very much a mess incapable of even caring for himself. In the end, he was able to kind of pull himself together and actually try to accomplish something, but even then the lack of clarity in his words and voice was very different from usual. I've contemplated that this was not really a K dream, but then no one has ever had the same feel as K in dreams, and there was no mistaking it in this dream. I have also wondered if perhaps I somehow made it into one of those random dreams we all have where our stresses and anxieties take over and we just fall apart where he was unable to control himself, assuming that K is another dreamer and not just a special dc. Then there's always the chance that my own fears and anxieties over hardly ever dreaming of K anymore caused me to dream that he was falling apart.

7/6/15 12:54 am

Tonight I went to bed before my husband to try to fix my sleeping schedule by going to bed early. I had a dream, which I don't remember, then went right to bed to trigger a lucid dream through dream chaining. I told myself over and over again I wanted to dream of my husband. And I did.

Lucid MILD, WBTB, Dream Chaining

I dreamed we had a shared dream and I was showing him how to control his dream. We flew together hand in hand. Saw Conan live. Visited a herd of "Mittens" (my cat who passed away recently), one of them bit me. It hurt. I wasn't bothered by it, and found it quite funny. The herd of Mittens was in my mother's backyard.

I woke up in my dream and my husband agreed we had a shared dream, but then proceeded to tell me I was Sailor Moon in his dream, which made me realize we didn't share dreams. He described his dream totally differently. Note: I'm still dreaming.

Then, I see this white stuffed animal on a chair who's talking to me in a squeaky voice. I don't remember the conversation. At first, I didn't trust him. I told him to go away. But all of the sudden I realized what he was saying. I told him, in different words, but essentially this "You're my dream guide." And he said yes (I think, or something affirming what I said) and jumped in my arms to give me a hug. Then I woke up when my husband got in bed in waking life.

I used a different word for dream guide in my dream, but don't remember what.

He was definitely different than all my dream characters, with a sense of his own agency. Even different than my dream husband, who was just responding to what I did. I think I didn't trust him at first because he seemed to have his own agency.

I almost feel like my dream guide and I were speaking on a different level, like in code. We knew what we meant, even though it wasn't in clear English.

This was definitely the best dream I've had with my husband. We were flying hand in hand! And that was amazing. I've flown hand in hand with one other dream character before, in my first successful flying dream. I asked him what my middle name was and he said Windy, then took my hand, proceeding to fly with me in the air. I've been able to fly in my dreams ever since, and this moment flying with my husband was definitely reminiscent on my first flying dream. I was rusty flying, since I haven't triggered a lucid dream in a while (only accidental ones) and had to relearn how to fly, only this time it was me who took my husband's hand to show him, rather than a dream character showing me.

When I was trying to fly, at first it wasn't successful. I'd keep trying to jump from higher levels of ground to lower levels, on a hilly area with grass and patches of dirt. The area is around my mother's house, down the road near a foresty area.

There was a point in the dream we were on a train, before the flying scene, taking to other dream characters.

Connected to my mom's backyard is an acquaintance's house. It's supposed to be my mom's, and I felt like it was my mom's, but at the same time this person's house. We went into his room and saw an anime poster. There was a "mom figure" there that was supposed to be my mom, but wasn't my mom in waking life. She was worried about me, but I told her this is all just a dream so not to worry. I showed my husband how to control the dream further by saying "clearer" and "brighter", controlling my dream world to become clearer and brighter.

In a sense, the dream started off with me being the dream guide for my dream husband, then finding my own dream guide. I really hope to see him again! I haven't been searching for a dream guide, but have been hoping to have a repeated dream character that has a sense of self and grows with each lucid dream. So perhaps this is a manifestation of that desire. Certainly not what I expected! A stuffed animal as my dream guide. I'm so excited by this.

This dream started off, I believe, as non-lucid. Though I don't remember the point exactly I became lucid. My husband and I were watching Roku together, and then went to see Conan live. When we watched Conan on Roku, he had his typical blue background, but live everything was white and the show was supposed to be a new Conan show, called Live with Conan. There was this mean producer lady, who was playing tricks on me. I think that was the point I became lucid, because something about her just gave off that she was a dream character. Conan later sat with me and my husband in the audience and apologized for her actions.

05/07/2015

non-lucid - Notes - lucid

“Consulting on the Nuclear Power plant – picking up my new car – TotM”

I am sat in a meeting with my new work-group, or rather I am sat with them and I am suspecting we have a meeting sometime shortly. It is at the beginning of the day and I am just hovering around really, I have other places I need to be in connection with my other project – which concerns youth and alcohol use (which is an actual IRL project I am working on) . However I have a feeling that I need to stick around for a bit as if I am expected to stay there.

Eventually the leader of the project comes around, she is a darkish haired short woman, who is pretty and American or English I believe. I tell her that I am excited to be connected with the project (though I frequently experience a sense of weirdness for participating in a project for constructing a nuclear power plant, which is never really fully conscious and I don't verbalise it) . She smiles at me and asks if I know how to handle Sheila (a IRL colleague of mine, who is apparently also on this project) . At this point we are walking outside the office in a courtyard of grey concrete in the early hours of the day, there is a lot of columns around forming small walkways – it reminds me of the style of construction associated with my old primary school. As she is asking about Sheila we sort of move into the office, without really moving, but rather being moved, or the building starts encompassing us.

Inside I see Maria has appeared (an old colleague from my time in England) who is also on the project. She is saying that she is excited to be on a project where “patriarchalism” (the meaning is feminism/social constructionism in the dream) is employed and that she sees that rarely. I replay “oh really? - I haven't been on anything else but these approaches, maybe it is because people preparing to become clinicians never really take this road?” She concurs a bit and throw me a smile, showing a lot of gingiva and then looks away towards either Caidee or the project leader.

While she does this I get a lot of spreadsheets appearing in front of my eyes. They are interview questions and are getting closed down one by one. The first being closed is the most recent and contains a lot of questions and the more that gets closed down the more questions disappear. I can't really see the questions, but there is a picture of a black female student in the top right hand corner and I see her name is Caidee. I instantaneously know that she is a student helper and she has been involved with constructing the interview guide from the start.

When these spreadsheets are all closed down we are starting to sit down by the table. I am getting anxious at this point because I think we are getting ready for the meeting and I thought the meeting wouldn't be till this afternoon. I take off my trousers under the table and look down at my blueish boxer shorts. I am briefly aware of the embarrassing nature of showing legs and start looking for my sweat pants – I don't know if I ever find them, but I start wearing them regardless – I then look under the table and see my red shorts lying under there. I am surprised as I don't remember wearing these, but I pick them up nonetheless and stand up and look at the table. I see now that Sheila has appeared so I go and sit next to her. I don't know if I will be able to persuade her in anyway or get to know her position in the project as the leader has told me about – in fact I am not even sure what I am supposed to do, but I sit down anyway.

I ask about whether we have a meeting already now and I am told that we do indeed and that it is a weekly thing as well. I mull this over a bit until from behind me Christina appears (Old school/class mate) and tell me that she has received the keys from Saab and that they will be here with my car shortly. It surprise me a little seeing as I am not yet in a financially stable position and I don't know why I have already bought a car, but I think little else of it as it was part of the plan. So I grab the keys, which is a massive bundle, with a couple of car keys and 8-10 other keys and I wonder why there are so many.

I start walking down the hallway towards the entrance and Bjarne (Old friend from childhood/adolescence) and Rasmus (Old school/class mate) appear along the way and talk to me, I can't recall exactly what they say, but it seems taunting or mocking. I get to the end of the hall and enter the lift I notice the button (yes there is only one and that isn't weird! ) is slightly broken, but I press it anyway and I soon find myself outside in the school car park, that is vast and fenced in with wire mesh – and seems more like a car park belonging to a large shopping centre than a school and there is a lot of traffic.

I stand around looking at the cars driving in. There seems to be a lot of black mega trucks or hummers and I know that this probably isn't mine. I can't remember which kind of car I bought, though when a couple of silver grey smaller station cars and smart type cars start entering I get a feeling that my car is definitely silver grey, though I am still unsure about the type, but having a feeling that it isn't one of the completely little ones. A couple of grey cars enter the car park and turn towards me and park. After this a massive black hummer truck pulls in (which I think look a bit weird, but after googling “hummer truck” this morning I found a picture that looks exactly like the one)

hummer truck Photo #06

I start getting bored so I decide to jump on the bonnet of the cars parked making a neat little run/jumping course – and I am thoroughly satisfied with the sounds and feel of pressing down the metal as I jump. I start out with just common SUVs but I eventually land on a Porsche – which for some reason is covered in a fine layer of snow – and the car following that just before the massive hummer truck as a black Lamborghini, which stops me in my tracks as it is so low that I can't possibly get up on the truck – also I am quite surprised to see 2 such expensive cars parked next to each other as Denmark isn't a cheap place to buy a car.

I move around and jump maybe 3-4 cars more before I think to myself “This is something I would do if I were dreaming”. So I look up and it all seems pretty normal, but I decide to do a reality check nonetheless. So I move my hands slightly to the sides and let myself hover above the rooftops of the cars.

Realising I am lucid I start taking to the skys, which is a habitual thought and I quickly realise that I have more important stuff to do than goof around. So I let myself drop out of flight and land on the ground again and when I do I find myself on the side walk outside the wire mesh.

I start walking up the side walk and start looking at my hands. The first basic task is my mission and I have already planned how this one is to unfold. I am somewhat excited though as I have never actually made something appear before my eyes. But I recall the visualisation of making a seed of light appear in my hand – a seed of love and light which I intend to plant in my chest and watch how it grows inside my body – while watching my hands (It is fascinating to think that within the dream world a mental visualisation appears phenomenologically similar to how it would in the waking world, as a sort of translucent image appearing in a distinct mental space – which one could easily hypothesise being occupied by running the “world simulation” that is the dream) To start out with not much is happening in my palm which is outstretched palms towards the sky. I see my fingers in a somewhat illuminated light and start focusing. Eventually I see a bright, but tiny dot of light in the middle of my palm and as I am watching it, it grows to the size of a water drop that is perfectly spherical. As I look at it it continues to grow and spikes and sparks start appearing around it leaving a distinct burning sensation in my hand as tiny specks of fire and ice are bombarding the surface of my skin.

Soon a gust of wind appears and rips the seed from my hands and I panic and jumps after it. It lands in a corner where there is some grass, but I manage to find it rather quickly. I then go all the way into the corner to avoid getting disturbed by the wind again. I take a look at the seed, my hand still being illuminated by light that reminds me of dawn. There is no pain any longer and I think of the seed representing compassion and love, as I press it into my chest. I don't feel it entering and nothing abrupt happens. I turn my focus and visual capacity towards the inside of my body and I get a view of the inside of my shoulder, but not much more, and the bright lines of light I expected aren't really there. What is worse is as I am focusing my attention like this I sense the dream world destabilising – so I start focusing outwards. At this point the dream is gone, but I am armed with patience – I have experienced this before, I maintain my focus directed outwards – although I am also aware that it would be irritating only starting half of the TotM task and not see it to fruition (literally . (In previous dreams over the years experiencing this sensation would normally have led me to feeling disappointed and accepting the disappearance of the dream. However in one of the first lucid experiences since Ayahuasca the same thing happened – the visuals faded and I was left with nothing but internal and auditory stimuli – but here I just decided to wait instead of waking up and soon after I was pulled back into the dream world, albeit in a different spot than when I left)

I get flashes of a white rugged wall, it is plastered and I reach out to touch it and I sense it with my fingertips, but only very briefly. I start sensing the light of dawn characteristic of the dream world I was just in and I feel myself pulled back in. SWEET! I am back on the side walk and I decide to not focus more on the seed, I had already thought about the fact that it might take longer to grow than within a single dream – planting compassion and love in my own heart will still be an interesting theme to watch unfold over time.

So I start walking up the side walk to find a tree. I am however conscious that I would prefer finding a tree surrounded by nature, but looking around and having no experience with teleportation or portals I think I will have to settle for one of the trees by the side of the road.

I find a tree not far away, it is a very short tree and the trunk of it is very strange in that it narrows a lot towards the top, almost needle shaped. I place my hand on the tree and it feels chilly, not cold to the touch and I can feel the texture of the bark against my fingers, very authentic. I notice a curved line heading diagonally up from bottom left to top right on a point on the trunk. There is some dark green slime around the line and I wonder if the tree is forming a mouth. The slime should look unpleasant, but it doesn't – in fact it seems rather natural. I look away and at the tree again and the line has widened, though also thinned out a bit. The point is the changes to the line isn't gradual but jolty.

I think I look at the tree a couple of times more watching the line change, but it still isn't speaking to me and as I am about to give up hope and look away I hear a deep bassy rumble emanating from the tree.

“You cannot, help me – even with your flatter and good intentions.”
Astonished I turn around and face it.
“but I can help you” it says.
“How?” I ask as respectfully as I can muster, which isn't difficult as I feel very humble even towards this young tree standing amidst the concrete.
“We trees see things humans aren't equipped to see” it continues.
“Amongst our roots we keep closed the gates of hell”
“Humans aren't prepared to see this – they would freak out – but we trees have watched this for ever.”
(I have taken some artistic liberties with the sentences, for which I don't recall all of them exactly, though they were perfectly linguistic, which excited me – though the meaning of the words is represented exactly as they should be. I felt it more important to convey the intelligence, wisdom and almost all encompassing and physical presence of the tree's intentions directed at me)

I thank the tree and wonder exactly how that is a help to me, not negating it – the message felt important to me, but I think I might not be able to fully grasp it yet. (upon awakening I got the feeling that the tree was trying to help me with one of the TotY – visiting the underworld, though I am unsure if there isn't a deeper more personal/spiritual message enclosed within as well). I take off into flight thinking I have done enough tasks for now, wanting to relax a little – after briefly considering doing the painting task, but giving up cause I don't feel like finding a painting at this point. However I then again think I might not have completed the basic seed task as I haven't seen anything grow yet – I quickly glance inside my body again, but don't really see anything – more a sort of translucent view of my shoulder again. And look outwards. The skies are tuning dark and I land on a rooftop covered with old roof platings. There is a lot of moss growing on the platings and I think it might be a good idea to conjure up more of aforementioned seeds so I start doing that.

The seeds seem more vigorous and self determined than before and start flying out of my hand spinning, when they have reached an appropriate size. I still feel the burns of the sparks and ice shards. One of the seeds actually jump up the slope of the roof and enter a crack between one of the platings under a ventilation hood.

I stop producing seeds and just look at the crack and wonder if there is enough soil and nutrients for the seed to grow. After a little while slowly a thin rolled up green leaf appears from under the crack and as I continue to observe the growth I see a sort of elongated cabbage shape take form along with branches with leaves growing out of the new little plant. It also starts forming a flower and end up looking like a mixture between an orchid and a cabbage. As I watch this unfold the dream starts fading and I wake up.